Help me get laid lads
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Help me get laid lads
>>698097476
"Good at stroking things besides egos?"
>>698097633
Too forward i think
>>698097758
Could be much more forward.
>>698097476
"How about stroking my peenie-weenie while you're at it? I think it would be fun. hbu?"
>>698097758
Why even bother if you aren't going to be forward?
>>698097758
nope its fine
>>698097476
"fuck me right now you bitch" too forward?
>>698097866
Found the virgin
"Well stroke away"
If OP wants to be a /b/ god he should do this: >>698097889
If OP wants to get laid he should anything else
Tell her "imma feel demand tiddys"
>>698098287
Dem*
>>698097965
>found the virgin
Nope, this one:
>>698097889
>>698097476
''rofl ,my peni's name is ego''
>>698097633
You got dubs, so do it faggot.
>>698097476
i bet youre a pro at lots of things besides stroking
Op fag confirmed
"my ego is in my pants"
Waiting for reply
>>698097633
Winrar do it faggot
>>698097476
This looks like its all yours to fuck up, dude. Good luck keeping the pasta in your pants long enough for your dick to get into her mouth.
>>698097476
say something such as
"You'll have to let me judge by myself"
or something like that
>>698099246
If she wavy she'll take the joke. Maybe the dingledangle too
>>698099246
She chose that phrasing on purpose. She could have easily mimicked you and said "I'm a prop at boosting egos" but she didn't. She's already dtf, just butter her up a little bit. You'd have to be autistic to screw this up.
bump to see what becomes of this
Good job OP. Going straight to the bussiness is only correct option. Also she ll be up for it for sure.
>>698099246
op better deliever
Right lads while were waiting for nicole to reply what do i tell lesley?
Update faggot
Send her a dick pic
Ayy
>>698100000
Checked
>>698099974
dicks out for harambe
>>698100000
Wow
Gz
>>698099974
Yeah well I have a pretty big cock.
>>698099974
But will my cock fit in your mouth?
>>698100000
fuck off
>>698100000
quints have spoken.
Ayy
>>698100000
Holy shit that roll
>>698100000
>>698099974
"mightn't"
...ugh.
>>698100000
>>698100323
This. 1000 times this.
>>698100000
>>698100188
this plus "it mightn't fit in your ass but we can still try."
>>698097476
We don't want another womynfag leaking anon's info.
>>698100323
>>698100375
thirdeded
>>698099974
I'm not clever enough to phrase it, but something like "we can save space by [some form of physical contact/me being inside you]"
>>698100255
UUUNNNNNGGGHHHHHH!!!
>>698099974
Ey yo gurl, cut the shit you feel me? i know what i want and i know you want me 2 so how about dis weekend you come to mine, netflix an chill girl
>>698100188
>>698100422
both dubs you gotta do it
>>698100462
Damn this
Any wordsmiths here ????
>>698100222
>>698100420
>blaze it fgt
>>698100462
>>698100694
we can make room if i stow my cock away in your ass ???
>>698100694
We can save space by tessellating.
>>698101053
Kek, try it
>stroke my ego
Who says cringy shit like that? Might as well send every suggestion in the thread because you're not getting laid.
>>698099974
Don't worry, I know how to get things to fit
>>698099974
If it don't fit we're gona make it
>>698101099
All of these gets!
>>698101190
you're not playing tetris bro
rip op
>>698101313
Hopefully he's on his way to get laid
>>698099402
>wavy
You a loopy dude, anon
>>698100968
Is it? Let's try because I never get
>>698097852
It's my penis weenis lol
Haha my itty bitty penis weenis
>>698101170
Ive gotten laid on tinder twice doing this lol
Sorry but that was too soon. She's gonna be a girl and get offended and move on. You fucked up
>>698100734
topkek
This isn't a get thread
>>698102068
Oh ye, of little faith
>>698101724
Surprising. You're probably just a good looking guy, you could message oil carpet farts and get laid
CHECK THESE DUBS
If dubs OP gets laid
>>698102249
the fuck you on about Jimmy?
if quads OP gets laid
>>698097476
"skilled at stroking, eh?" with one of those faggy winky faces. Playful but not crass.
>>698097476
kkk, kkk, I wonder what I’ll have to eat today.
jiggaboo soup? liver of gay? a cat from the local chinese buffet?
>>698103204
that's crass AF.
Keep doing what you're doing OP.
Maybe even stop texting and just wait till you see her.
>>698102068
I think you'd be surprised on that front, partner
>>698103374
that aint crass you pussy, chicks love a slightly dirty line like that if you sell it right. Makes you sound cheeky, which puts them at ease. You come off as fun.
>>698099246
Joking mah egos too large to stroke but ill let you go on a date with me. How about dinner tonight.
Pretty quiet around here
>>698103882
it's because you couldnt get trips. I'm leaving too.
>>698103939
We are bad at rolling them
>>698104047
yep.
>>698104047
I'm not
>>698104047
i'm pretty good at it.
>>698104220
nvm.
>>698104220
You are man, I'm good at it
>>698104263
o rly, m8?
>>698104334
Not really m8
>>698104334
rip by one
>>698097476
You're already in bro she's talking bout STA-ROKIN
>>698104334
you poor bastard.
>>698104442
tough luck m8
let's see who got it
>>698104444
>>698104315
Please, I'm the good one at it
>>698104598
nice fucking fail, bellend. Check this shit out.
OP is kill?
>>698097476
Ur already fine faggot, ask he to do something and have a good time out. If you fuck it up unlucky.
>>698100000
Beautiful!
>>698104844
dubs are nice, but they've got nothing on these trips
Let's cut the crap. I'll grab the food and drink and you make your bed comfy for when I come over
Got a reply from lesley
>>698105052
What the fuck kinda innuendo is that
>>698097476
i pick out undigested pieces of food from human feces corn.nuts.etc..and i jerk off while eating it
>>698105052
Let me plant my seeds in your garden
>>698105052
"Or, you know, we might try some form of fornicating. You interested in that sonny Jim?"
Tell her that, but if she freaks out then pretend you wanted to say that to Jim instead.
I would like to fellatio, my babe.
>>698105052
We can also fuck like animals
>>698105215
thats fucken gay
>>698105052
My k/d is 3.1, get ready to get dominated xd
>>698105052
She clearly doesn't understand the meaning of tessellation. How are you gonna save it?
>>698100000
AYY LMAO
>>698100000
checked
Ops number raid this faggot(936) 776-8156
OP may be a faggot but these checks are pretty damn sweet.
>mfw waiting for op to post
>>698105911
>>698100000
>witnessed
>>698100000
Witnessed
>>698105052
A little word of advice:
I'm known to activate my almonds.
In other words I go nuts ;)
So, just saying, don't be surprised if you end up being tied up to my bed while I feed you my babies through a straw
>>698102990
is that nicole?
Where is the OP?
rip terradayg (gayretard)
>>698100000
Woooow
>>698107457
Im here
>>698108951
Hey sorry my brother messaged that shit to you he is autistic and suffers from retardation , lets get back to the main priority and get straight to business , you liked me I liked you . And for a reason .. We want to have sex with one another . So I have my place to my self , 3 story house my granddad left me after he fell down the stairs and died from his injuries . If you want to even move in he'll be my guest .. So what time are you thinking you'll be over ?
Has Nicole not replied yet?
>>698109326
This
>>698109326
Rollie pollie
>>698109326
This
>>698109326
>>698109344
Its friday shes probably out clubbing
>>698109326
>>698109931
Well say this anyway you pussy
>>698109931
My or your place
>>698110077
this
>>698097476
write EGO with a sharpie on your cock and send a pic of her of that. That's check-mate right there! Now she can't back down.
>>698110077
dubs. Do it fgt
>>698109931
fag
>>698110318
b8
>>698110318
>.jpeg.exe
Hmmmm
>>698110318
I ain't clickin that shit nigga
>>698110318
Get the fuck outta hee with your gabige
lol
>>698110879
mate ur so in
>>698110879
bring two Johnnys with ya
>>698110879
Come over at [normal time time] [insert adresse]
>>698100000
>>698110879
Well I'll fuck all of you? It really doesn't matter
>>698110879
give her your adress
>>698111400
Damn second time dubs for me. check em
>>698111456
how's it feel to be a newfag son?
>>698110879
can they join us?
>>698111558
in this thread you little faggot
I think I'm going to honestly kill my self tonight .. Like I'm being serious
>>698110879
your place it is then
>>698110879
Go into bathroom and send nudes ;)
>>698110879
Op get the fuck off here and get her over
مارسي الجنس معي
>>698111847
English. Can you speak it?
>>698112008
تبا لأمك
>>698112008
You fucking idiot. Translate it. It's Arabic for a reason.
>>698110879
the more the merrier
>>698112008
Google, can you use it?
>>698111847
This one is allahu ackbar
>>698112185
This one is assad calamari
Lads
>>698112379
wew lad
>>698112290
nope...its fucked me--private lamk...>>698112211
>>698112379
mate ur a moron lol.
u should have just asked if you could pick her up or something
>>698112379
"Help me get laid lads"
Fucking idiot. Why not pick the dubs. How fucking retarded are you autistic cunt. What the fuck is wrong with you dumb faggot. Waste of time. /b/ helps to get you laid and you do this shit. What the fuck.
>>698112379
you done goofed op.. save it quick..you were in...think fast dammit
>>698112379
you had it dude. why lol.
>>698112379
Absolute madman
>>698112379
THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
I collect used tampons , anyone on their period atm ? If so I'll stop by , just leave the used ones in a bag in your porch
>>698112379
And its over.
>>698112379
Too far... Fucking idiot... Should've just sealed the deal and gave her your address... Instead you made yourself look like you enjoy incest... Retard
>>698100000
Nice get, nigger
>>698112379
RESPOND PLEASE!!!
>>698102990
Lmao, I know this person. Where did you get this picture? Her name is Cherish.
>>698112379
I enjoyed your performance in suicide squad, OP
>>698112379
ayyy u chose mine
hey can still save it if he turns it into a joke and seals the deal at the same time
What did she mean by this?
>>698113529
...She obviously means that you should go over there sometime in the next 2 hours.
>>698113529
She means her mom wont be there for 2 hours
>>698113529
SAVED. Ask when and get your ass there.
She is saying her mother won't be there for 2 hours.
>>698113529
let's fuck then
She means you've got to fuck her in the next two hours retard...
>>698113529
That means her mother has gone out, nows your chance OP.
Are you retarded? ^
You have 2 hours to fuck her and then leave.
>>698113343
faggot OP doesn't want to get laid. Fucking faggot
>>698113529
it means she wants the D fag
>>698113529
tell her to come over op, the game is over. that or tell her you just need to get your lads together and youll head over
>>698113529
she gave you a window go go go
>>698113529
"maybe I'd be more inclined to get there in less than two hours if I could see what I was rushing for"
shit we need to get some too
>>698113529
--it means you're getting a threesome
I'm coming over.. I'll pick up some wodka on my way
>>698113529
>>698113702
no, I think he's just plain rektard
>>698113529
let me be your daddy?
>>698113529
This could also mean that her + student at her place are DTF.
>>698113812
reroll
get your ass over there nigga, and post results.
>>698113854
thats a little ambitious.
OP, ask for the address already. Jesus
>>698113804
thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis
>>698114034
Good response, now go fuck her.
>>698114034
that wasn't even a funny one
>>698114034
ask 4 the address
>>698114034
god damnit
>>698114034
Jesus christ that wasn't even funny and probably ruined this
>>698114034
you gonna get so much fuck
>>698114034
Again... The absolute madman...
>>698114034
Told you he doesn't want to get laid
>>698114034
Great Bait mate... You actually got me with this fake convo
>>698114034
why you keep texting you faggotty cunt? Just go over there and fuck her sweet little pussy!! You even might get lucky and get the student's ass as well...
>>698114034
Give her the D anon.
>>698114034
mate seriously thats so risky, 50% of girls think thats super wierd u know
>>698114034
O.P the Idea is to fuck the girl not with us.
>>698114034
she's gonna let OP go straight for anal with this smooth ass game
>>698114034
Today OP was a faggot
>>698114034
>>698114034
you're just arbitrarily picking responses and THAT'S the one you go with?
fuck you
>>698114034
All you had to do was ask for address, you done goofed up now
>>698114224
ultra-fag detected
>>698114034
What's next, she will say yes? Fucking fake convo
>>698114034
OMG LOL AHAHAHAHHA. LOVE THIS.
WHAT DID SHE MEME BY THIS?!
>>698114201
>>698114206
>>698114209
>>698114224
>>698114239
It's bait you fucking retards... OP is a kissless virgin who doesn't even have a girls number... Using fake chat to convince us he's smooth when in reality he's a faggot
>>698114438
period. faggot
>>698114438
oh her rag.
>>698114438
shes backing out. Shes going with the period excuse. good job OP.
>>698114438
DAT RAG THO.
The redder the juice the warmer the poosie.
>>698114492
Don't be so rude
>>698114438
FAKE
>>698114438
uh oh
>>698114438
Haha, I don't mind if you don't. I'm OMW
it's alright, I've always wanted to get my red belt.
>>698114438
Cockblocked by mother nature, kek
>>698114438
Now you fucked up OP. She's using her period as an excuse
>>698114438
You fucked up retard.
Also fuck you captcha
>>698114438
Reply with "dat mouth ain't bleeding tho"... Ps. Check'em
>>698114438
she might mean shes on her period
I don't mind sailing the red sea
Right while Lesley pussyfoots around lets move on to Laura
>>698114438
I don't understand how that stops you from taking my cock down your throat...
>>698114438
you fucking blew it ya shitlord
I wanna suck on your feminine cock til you unload all over my face
>>698114648
Eh, it's nothing special. Extra lube for the price of extra cleanup.
>>698114803
Role
>>698114736
lemme see that ass.. I like pictures of the meal im gonna eat
>>698114736
Listen retard, don't fuck this up like Leslie cause god knows your aspastic brain can't comprehend what's smart to say and what isn't
>>698114736
You cant possibly fuck this one up
>>698114736
LMAO this is so fucking dumb haha
Lookie here bitch. I wanna see your titties and you wanna show em so hurry it up you cumbucket bag of dicks
>>698114736
I have no game. Show your asshole
>>698115034
This
>>698115034
actually 12 years old
There is no way that OP can match with this many girls and be this autistic.
I'm calling OP out on catfishing, let us see your pics faggot.
>>698114438
>If the red river's flowing, I'm taking the muddy stream.
>>698115034
Rawl
>>698115292
kek roll
check em fags
>>698115163
Bitch I turn 7 tomorrow
>>698115353
full troll confirmed
>>698115353
this nigga
>>698115289
1,4,9
im i a memer now?
>>698115187
Its obviously a meme idiot.
Have you never led someone on in real life then disappear when the club closes
>>698115353
>ohshitniggawhatareyoudoing.jpg
>>698100734
Top kek
LESLEY REPLIES
>>698115586
THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>>698097476
you dont appear to need help, just say something funny like "kill yourself bitch" and see what she responds with
>>698113529
motherless m8 post it and upload it on the site too
>>698115586
Yes, those are the exact words bitches yell when they see ny cock
>>698115586
Dont even bother no more
>>698115507
no because i'm a filthy /b/tard who doesn't go outside
>>698115746
rolling
>>698115586
>
I'll return the favor next week
>>698115586
savage
>>698115586
You got another opening Don't fuck up now..
>>698115991
FUCK IT UP YOU RETARD
>>698115907
so much this
>>698115586
I plan on fucking you right in the pussy
Lol just a few hours ago some bitch posted personal info of a faggot for this kind of shit and we launched a campaign against her and now this..
>>698100000
decent
>>698116217
>why aren't we doing ebin raids on randoms
fuck off, summer
I would like very much to pay you for to make the sexy times. Is nice
>>698115746
reroll
>>698116217
>>expecting /b/ to change
>>kek
wtf happened to op? >>698099246
this leslie bitch and other guy is fake and gay and lame. i really just wanted to see what op said
Make a new thread OP, this ones about to 404
>>698114492
This, so much this
NEW THREAD
>>698116689
>>698116689
