ITT: Share stories of cringey shit you did as a kid I'll
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: Share stories of cringey shit you did as a kid
I'll start
>Be me, 15
>Brony trend just started, wasn't even popular
>Yes, I'm autistic
>Decide that I'm a brony
>Tell all friends about it
>0 friends.exe
>Tell parents about it
>Disappoint.avi
>Later in that year I was going back to school shopping
>Be in west 49 (some canadian skater store)
>Ask the guy helping us pick out clothes if he has any MLP clothes
>"What?"
>My little pony, friendship is magic, do you have any clothes for it
>"umm, ehh, no I don't think so"
>"Well, just check, please"
>MOM IS VERY DISAPPOINT
>My mom keeps saying things like "well they don't have it anon, ok, let's just get normal people clothes"
>Clerk is really confused, keeps asking me questions
>"So, do you only watch as a joke?"
>"It's ironic, right?"
>Tell him no and it's a good show
>Ended up buying a purple set of headphones and rainbow sweater
Please kill me /b/ I should not be of this earth
bump
>>698073900
>15 when the brony thing started
Fucking newfags
>>698073900
Dude that isnt anything be glad you didnt grow up when the internet was still young.
>>698074023
I was lurking /b/ when I was like 14.
Hate to tell you but mostly everyone on this board is underage.
Okay, I'll post another one, I'm cringe incarnate so this should be easy
>Be me, 17
>Have my eyes on this hot ass Siberian aryan.
>She's in my math class, we talk all the time
>Decide to man up and ask her out
>It was near the end of class
>The look on her face
>In that moment feel like a total fucking beta
>She says she'll "think about it"
>later on facebook asking her what her answer is
>surprise, it's no
>Start saying things like "can we still be friends"
>She doesn't respond
>Autism.cfg engaged
>"WELL YOU'RE JUST MAD"
>"SOMEONE'S MAD LOL"
>continue to sperg for like 10 minutes
>tfw she was thinking about changing her mind
>tfw she didn't after that
>>698073900
>be me, 4th grade
>recess
>with my two friend
>use one friends big jacket so all three of us are wearing it
>I'm in the middle
>walking around outside
>chilling with other kids, showing off our retarded jacket of trips
>haha cool this is fun
>the cool kid comes up behind me
>he pulls my pants down
>this is like the one day I chose not to wear underwear
>oh fuck
>everybody sees my baby penis and laughs
>I still remember the face of one girl who saw it
>played sick so I didn't go to school the next day
>anxiety about it the rest of the school year but little retarded 10 year olds so not big deal in retrospect
>>698074742
Not cringe, sorry that happun bro, kids suck.
In 4th grade a kid did a similar thing, except he screamed in my ear until it started ringing when he couldn't pants me.
>>698074918
Thnx
>>698074613
Dude wtf. Must be something in your drinking water, no way you're that retarded.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8GvgyehiS4
>>698075173
Autism is a hell of a thing. Luckily I had a good friend who would re-direct me from falling into the abyss of eternal sperg. I have friends and shit now, but man as a kid I did some really really cringey shit.
>>698075373
Yes, go on? Tell us
>>698075575
I already told the two that were the most notable. Really the rest of the cringey shit was just decorating my room with MLP merchandise, but I guess I have one more-ish
>Be me 15, jerking off in living room
>spongebob was on the tele, but I wasn't jerking off to it, just background noise I guess
>About to finish
>Door opens
>The living room is directly adjacent to the front door
>sister and her husband come in as I start cumming everywhere
>"I WAS JUST ITCHY WHY ARE YOU HOME"
>Sister grabs her stuff and quickly leaves again for three hours.
>clean up and fap again a half hour later in the same place
>be me 16
>long hair cause pseudo emo faggot
>at school, social studies
>black retard kid wants to impress his retard friends
>plays with my fluffy hair with a pencil
>social reject so I just ignore it instead of saying "yo, can you stop" or something like that
>it's pretty much an everyday thing
>eventually he starts acting like hes knifing me (imitating call of duty knifing, sound fx and all)
>my lack of social skills switches to maximum overdrive
>report him to the school authorities
>"there's a kid in my class acting like hes stabbing me with a knife"
>talk to the principal about it too
>the principal talks to him about it as well
>really nervous about going back into class with him cause he'll know I snitched and I know he'll tell his friends too.
>go back to class
>I'm sitting on the other side of the room
>fuck me it's so obvious
>I can hear I'm telling the situation to his friends
>fuck fuck fuck I'm a god damn idiot
>start cutting my arm
>superficial. not even bleeding that much
>at the end of class, go to counselor, tell her what i did.
>have to go to nurse
>my arm gets fucking mummified with 25 pounds of fucking bandages for fucking little cuts all over my peft arm
>people ask about it
>find ways to avoid the question
>mfw
>>698076101
*left
>be me
>kid bullies me at school
>shoot up school
>>698073900
ho lee fucking shit m8
>>698076101
Also I got a schedule change
>>698076332
Same here nothing to be ashamed of. We all do stupid stuff;)
I think about these moments at least once a day and how much of a dick fuck shit ass fuck head I was and I can not fathom what was going through my dumb gay head
>Be 15
>have severe anger issues (That used to manifest at worst possible times)
>In IT
>Teacher brought in commodore 64 for fun
>Play some random game that I cant remember
>Friends tell me I am doing shit
>"WELL YOU FUCKING TRY THEN!"
>He plays better than me
>"I am doing better than you anon"
>"NO YOU ARE FUCKING NOT"
>Realize someone is recording me freaking out
>Grab their phone
>punch them in the face
>chuck the phone out the window
>Drop the commodore 64 monitor on their chest
>was suspended for 3 weeks
>had to pay for the phone
>monitor was fine tho
>Felt cringey and bad for the guy I attacked for ages
I'm glad I got the majority of my stupid youthful shit done and out of the way when smart phones and the internet weren't so prevalent. Feels like if you fuck up now, that shit is documented in the archives the internet forever.
The worst I did was post like a complete fag on some discussion forum that is now dead, thank God.
>>698077777
Holy fuck. Have my babies
>>698077777
God damnit, I wasted my quints
>>698077777
s|utyGET
>>698077777
whatever you may say, anon
>>698073900
>Decide that I'm a brony
nope. good day sir.
>>698074023
Most of us start as underage b& and don't even pretend that's not the case. I joined in 2007 and was 14 at the time. Gotta be a newfag before you can begin the slow and depressing march to oldfaggotry.
Fapping to hardcore porn at 5
> Be me, 14 or so
> Get myspace
> Fill myspace with tons of teenage anarcho angst
> Anarchy signs and shit punk music all day every day
> But in reality, never stepped out of line for fear of conflict and getting in trouble.
> Totalteenagecringelord.gif
> Also fat
>>698077777
Get thread is here faggot >>698073102
I dressed like a raver from 1998-2003.
>>698077605
Same poster here
>Be 15
>Be brony (completely for attention btw)
>Other kids in school discover I was a brony
>"We are doing a documentary on bronies that you can be in for media class"
>Accept offer
>Fairly normal documentary (still cringey because its about bronies)
>Interview with me about it
>Sooo nervous I start to sweat, stutter and twitch
>Say in a real creepy voice "fluttershy is my favorite" and "I watch it for the plot"
>I didn't know that on the last day of school we watched all our media projects in an assembly of around 500 people.
>People watched the doccumentary and thought it was a bit strange
>When I was on screen everyone was looking at me with a face of disgust and or laughing at me
I wasn't abused as a child, promise.
>>698077777
Chekdd
>be me
>be in sixth grade at the time
>social studies teacher gave us 20 pages to do(really simple shit)
>math teacher is an asshole and gives us homework
>fast forward the next day
>i didnt do my math
>autism starts
>do math under desk even though teacher can see it
>get called out in class
>ohshitwhatthefuck.jpg
>start acting like retard and throws book in the ground
>teacher was nice enough not to tell the other teachers
I got fucking lucky cus my math teacher has some anger issues
>>698073900
Shopping at west 49 was the cringiest thing you did. Did you go to randy river after?
Holy fuck how gay were you guys when I was in school we used to throw crickets bats at each other and boot footballs into our nuts at point blanc
>>698078523
Sweet Jesus I actually cringed hard at this. Oh God, dude. Do you wake up in the middle of the night occasionally and remember their faces and the way you said it?
>>698076332
Been there
Water down the bridge man
So what op. You must be like 16 y/o now
>>698079306
Uh yeah, I completely do.
![tumblr_n3zxrwj0W21rzapx4o1_500[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/emWK3KT.png "tumblr_n3zxrwj0W21rzapx4o1_500[1].png")
>>698073900
>be like 8
>sisters were in gymnastics
>all older girls
>some super cute
>there was another kid who got dragged along with his sisters too
>decide to try to bro out with him cause only other male my age
>see him playing with a laser pointer or some shit
>I ask if I can play with it
>he looks at me and goes "NO TOUCHY" and runs away
>i'm like "wtf" but I guess I thought the way he repeated it was funny
>start saying it to myself quietly
>eventually have to go take a piss
>place only has one bathroom
>go in bathroom, still thinking about thing he said
>start making weird little song saying "NO TOUCHY" and laughing to myself
>didn't realize bathroom was echo-y as fuck
>walk outside after about 5 minutes to see like 10 girls waiting to use bathroom
>they all heard my song
>their face was pic related
>go sit in car for the rest of gymnastics practice
>>698079306
oh GOOOD I just remembered, I when people discovered where i was sitting everyone started to move away from me as quickly as they could.
FUCK
>>698073900
Ha that guy looks like Kingpin from Daredevil if he had autism.
I guess I'll contribute...
Hard even typing this to be honest.
>be me
>wee lad
>just got pokemon fire red for the game boy advance
>some other quiet shy kid did too
>sperg of excitement hits
>start shouting at him nonsense about the game
>he starts breaking down crying
>teacher comes over to see what's going on
>i let out a raptor screech and run out of the classroom as everyone is staring at me horrified next to this kid bawling
>as i run i realize they probably watched me yell at him too
>begin to cry as i run
>not noticing this is just making things worse
>i trip going down a slight decline in the building that you used to get to the main exit
>broken jaw
>teachers from every which way are now surrounding me lying on the floor LOSING IT in pain
>this was also my first major injury
>one tries to approach me and I'm now curled up in a ball trying not to be seen
>he begins to talk and i yell again and bite his fucking arm (honestly what the fuck was wrong with me)
>get sent to therapy and psychiatry for 3 years over that incident
>play pokemon heart gold when it comes out
>i had skipped every pokemon because of incident but really had an urge to play
>i give it a 10/10
>primary school
>8yo
>near end of class
>need a shit
>ask if I can go
>'no, it's almost lunch, hold it in anon'
>mfw
>class ends
>run to toilet
>burst in to cubicle
>try to undo really tight belt before I shit myself
>mission failed, we'll get 'em next time
>panic and try to scrape the shit from my underwear in to the toilet
>go back on forth to sink to wash my hands
>there is now shit all over sink
>older boys come in to toilets
>see shit
>see me
>I start crying
>expect them to laugh and make fun of me
>they actually feel bad and take me to one of the dinner ladies
>had to walk past all my friends covered in shit
>dinner lady gives me clean undies and phones my mum to come get me
>friends never forgot
>>698080465
Forgot pic
>be 8y old
>go to basement of the building we used to live in
>stab all tires from bicycles in there
>all exept from mine and my parents
>janitor thinks it was me
>try to lie my way out
>dad repairs all tires by himself
>all know it was me
> still trying to lie about
> dad is disappointed
> 30y old now
> dad died 5 month ago
> never came clean
> cry silent at his grave
>>698080465
dude I pissed myself like this in the 6th grade, fucking barbarian cunt of a typing teacher wouldn't let me go--probably because I typed 100+ WPM w/ 95% accuracy and thought her class was a joke.
>>698079931
Shit. Try to keep in mind you'll never see most, if not any of them again. Everyone has something they wake up to like that.. granted yours is pretty bad, though..
>>698080671
Yeah, the teacher ended up getting suspended because my mother complained lmao
>>698080465
Aw poor anon :c
>me
>autistic brony 12 year old
>friend is brony too
>we go to science camp in 5th grade
>draw picture of gay horse and hang it on our bunk
>ask camp counselors if they like gay horse show
>last day of camp
>talent show for kids
>me and my friend dont have any real talents
>decide to go up in front of 100+ kids and sing the intro to gay horse show
Fuck
>>698080258
LooooL
>>698080713
Yeah... oh well. It will still be awkward as fuck I get a job somewhere and one of those people also work there or something like that.
>>698081087
>>698074023
>>>698073900 (OP)
>>15 when the brony thing started
>Fucking newfags
>>698078114
>>>698074023
>Most of us start as underage b& and don't even pretend that's not the case. I joined in 2007 and was 14 at the time. Gotta be a newfag before you can begin the slow and depressing march to oldfaggotry.
If you weren't on /b/ prior to 2006, you're forever a newfag. The number of old fags can never increase, only dwindle down till they're all dead. Then 4chan will only be newfags until this shithole website goes away.
>>698081087
>>698073900
>Share stories of cringey shit you did as a kid
I lived as a girl from 10 years old till I was 19. Worst part is I never had male puberty, I was put on t blocker and estrogen so I basically look like a girl still. That's cringe.
>>698082309
I was 8 in 2006
>>698074139
Fuck I did. Gnn and AOL keyword searches fml I'll never live that shit down
>be me
>4th grade
>just joined public school
>previously homeschooled
>teacher is teaching math
>fuckingmathwiz.exe
>she makes a mistake, so I point it out to help her
>this occurs again and again
>eventually she gets fed up
>"anon, do you want to teach the class?"
>the sperglord says "I can do that? Cool"
>mfw I end up teaching the class math for a day
>mfw when the whole class is staring at me like I have 10 inch nuts
>mteachersf when I ask if she has more lesson plans
>>698074144
Mods!!!
>>698082519
why did you start, and why did you stop?
>>698082519
What.. then you just changed your mind? Anyway, can't you get testosterone injections? I know it's not as affective post-puberty age but it would have some benefit at least..
>>698082577
MODS MODS MODS
>>698082927
That's not even cringe. Teacher should cringe at that.
>>698083057
I just thought being a girl was cooler and for a bit it was.
>>698083069
naw, im fucked. I still take estrogen and I still have like real fucking boobs but I also still have my penis and no balls. I dress and present like a man but I don't look like one.
>>698079866
Kek'd
>>698083098
But I'm 18 now anon, so it's ok.
â–²
▲▲
>>698083296
Pics? Promise not to fap to them
>>698083296
that's a pretty retarded reason to transition
no dysphoria?
>>698074613
Jesus christ
>>698082927
Another cringy one from my first year in school
>in library
>silent reading time
>had a little timer to tell us when it was over
>I had my eye on the fucking time
>the previous time it rang, a dipshit of the class went "beep beep" along with it and it was hilarious
>myturn.jpg
>timer goes off
>BEEP BEEP BEEP
>strict ass library teacher tells me to "refocus"(little discipline papers that you filled out saying what you did wrong and shit)
>first time getting in trouble
>burst into tears in front of fucking everyone
>feels bad man
>now I see that library teacher at burger king where I work sometimes and cringe at the sight of her
>>698074613
>siberian aryan
Kek
>>698074613
Kek to the maximum
>be 7
>playing halo
>decide to make a comic about it
>talk about how master chief is the coolest
>hand to dad
>i get yelled at
>i drew scenes of master chief shooting everything the fuck up with an assault rifle
>i wrote in red crayon master chief is blood and gore
>holy fuck what i never wrote this
>get spanked to hell and back
I still dont know what happened, i honestly think a ghost did it, if not, i blacked out and went full autism
>>698077777
I really don't find it special with dubs, trips
etc., what's all the fuzz about?
>>698077777
checkd
>>698084478
go back to plebbit if you don't get excited by consecutive matching numbers you fucking normalfag
>>698083296
Tits or GTFO.
Age 7 or 8. Neighbor across the street and a few houses down lived in a nice house, had a pool in the back yard. Man and his wife had no kids, he was early 50's, glasses very skinny and his wife fat and in a wheelchair for some reason. They're known for giving neighborhood children candy and letting them swim in the pool. Remember going there with bro's and sis on a hot day to use pool. House filled with huge balloons and stuffed toys, always creeped me out never went back after seeing the inside. Unfortunately a bro of mine did go back, and however many neighbor children, I know what happened to my brother and also know that guy lived on doing his routine for years before leaving town.
>>698078166
i had it worse
>12
>horomones been crazy since 10, guess im an early bloomer
>still confused about life
>see how cool niggers are (they arent now but back then i thought they were)
>start dressing like a nigger, snapback and baggy as fuck pants, i wore shades too school
>start talking like a nigger
>yo man what up haha cool
>basically my entire dialogue
>one day mom takes pic
>posts on facebook
>life is forever fucking ruined
>i cant live it down, everytime i see her history its that pic
>>698083296
Why do you still take estrogen?!
>>698084929
>No green text
Won't read.
>>698078523
i wouldve killed myself
>>698079866
i MFW hard
this is true feels, kek
>>698085134
Waste time replying.
>>698080465
i pissed myself in 9th grade, dont feel bad
>>698081087
I couldnt live after something like that
>12 year old chunky edgy Mexican
>6th grade really get into "harder music"
>discover SLIPKNOT!!!
>masks and alot of cussing makes my 3in. Cock hard
>tell everybody how much I like them
>slipknot becomes life
>don't let my dad know cause of parental advisory
>start printing of lyrics to take to school and show off
> doesn't understand how printers work
>leave a lyric page in the printer cache
>dad turns on printer lyrics start printing off
>some song about people fucking off and licking nuts
> come home from school dad's waiting to talk to me
>starts out reading the lyrics to me about getting fucked and licking his nuts
>cringe so hard I form into a ball
>finally realize how fucking gay and edgy I was being
Only listen to a few songs by them now and honestly don't know why I was so into them its fucking awkward
>>698077777
Same. Holy quads of crings
>>698084929
Makes no sense... He let kids swim in his pool and unfortunately your friend and brother got candy and went swimming?
>>698086139
Quints
>>698077777
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I CAME.
>>698082309
What if I started here in august 06 and am now 20?
Do I qualify?
Also Oldfags were just bandwagoning goon faggots who served as the segway from the originalfags to what the site's become, so you can fuck right off.
This isn't much of a story though.
>>698074023
To the faggots defence I started using 4chan when I was 15 back in 2010, fucking m00t made 4chan when he was 16
>>698085855
Mexicans gonna nig /b/ro
also i used to be into five fingered death punch but realized how everything besides wrong side of heaven righteous side of hell is shit. And i mean the songs, not the album
>>698081087
>>698078523
Everyone who stutters should be required, by law, to wear a shirt that says "Buffering, Please Wait".
>>698073900
if a trend started, it already popular you shit-eating loser
>>698086527
people like you should be shot in the face, but we're lax on that
>>698086697
So what size shirt do you need?
>>698086258
what do you want a detailed experience of what the guy actually did to kids? the outcome of him luring children? maybe you can find that guy and get tips lol.
>>698079948
It is, it's vincent dinofrio
It's a scene from full metal jacket
>>698085211
Heh, implying I haven't tried to.
>>698080258
XD ROFLLMAO DUDE YOU'RE SO RANDOM
>>698073900
So you didn't realize that people on 4chan "liking" MLP was just a troll? It all started as a big joke, but somehow that shit got out of hand and tards like you thought it was real.
That's hilarious dude.
>>698086273
Fuck you count commander
>>698082927
That's not cringe, that's alpha as fuck
>>698084478
>"I don't get dubs and trips"
>Never had dubs or trips
Stop hating jealous fag
>>698073900
You sound cute
>>698087525
This. I would have bought him ice cream.
>>698073900
>be me, 6th grade
>walking through the halls at school in between class
>vice principle walking towards me, hasn't shaved in a while
>has some face scruff
>look at him as he passes
>think to myself I should make a joke
>turn around and yell top of my lungs "NICE AFTERSHAVE MR. DANIELS"
>mfw I realize what I said
>instant spaghetti leakage
>try to keep spaghetti contained but cannot
>turn around to go to class
>bump right into a group of kids
>sudden shock makes my pockets explode with spaghetti
>spaghetti everywhere
>trip because of spaghetti
>hit my face
>starts bleeding
>go to nurses office
>try to make a joke again
>"well they don't call me pinocchio for nothing"
>didn't even make sense
>mfw
>>698087666
Thats pretty cringy mr satan
>>698086354
Still newfag if you choose the discussion
>>698087666
I don't know why, but this is the first post that made me laugh. And I laughed hard. And the post is garbage.
this isnt really a kid story but its some cringey shit my ugly beta ass did once
>be me
>on double date
>its my first date and my friend and his girlfriend set me up with some gril bc they felt bad for me
>nervous as shit
>we are all in friends car on the way to restaurant
>decide that when we get to the restaurant im ginna be a alpha gentleman and im gonna open the car door for date
>its kinda raining outside so its a little slippery
>run a little too fast to her door and slip face first towards car
>my face hits her window so fucking hard that it smashes it
>broke my nose and had to be taken to hospital
Wanted to killself
>>698087666
>"well they don't call me pinocchio for nothing
Fucking kekked
>>698073900
Had a batmobile toy similar to the one in this picture. The little tail things that looked like wings were slightly larger and detachable. For reference, I was like 5-6 at the time. Took the wings off and convinced a play friend to let me stick it between his butt cheeks. My parents and his walked in on us doing it and they took him home and I don't think I ever saw him again.
>>698077777
Look out for that shark you slut!
>be me 16 growing up in the alpha jungles of south america
>parents recently separated, bullied at school.
>as any other beta kid would do, resorted to anime and manga as an escape.
>really get into vampires, hellsing, rosario+vampire (was really a fag at the time)
>decided that my only chance on alphaing up would be to become a vampire.
>start reading bullshit blogs online.
>start going out at around 3am to perform rituals to the moon.
>decide this is bullshit, I need medical attention.
>go to therapy and be medicated for two years.
>eventually recover, get my friends back and start playing the guitar.
>3 years later everything is shit, considering vampires once again.
>>698087666
Tbh the most cringey thing here is how hard you tried to be funny. It did not work and you are not out of your cringey kid phase yet since that is exactly what you are. Fuck off out of this thread.
>>698081087
jesus christ..
>>698088243
Bonus cringe (same guy as reply).
Went over to a friends house with some gum. They knew I had that brand of gum because I had shared it with the friends. Stuck a small piece behind their huge piece of furniture that contained a lot of dishes. I didn't think anyone in their right mind would ever look behind it, as it had a very small gap between it and the wall. Next time I came over, their mom asked me about it. I denied it and said I had shared the gum with everyone. I think she actually believed me cause I was normally a pretty good kid. Honestly, I don't even now why I did it --- just cringe stupid kid stuff I guess. I just hope she actually believed me, but who cares don't see those kids any more either.
Come to think of it I pretty much lost all my childhood friends from before middle school...
>>698080258
this on made me kek
>>698088441
Projecting this hard.
>>698086527
lost
>>698088405
Edit: i was actually 14 at the time
>>698087250
heh
>>698088243
Did something similar.
> be me and friend
> about 6 years old
> playing like normal in the living rom
> dont know why but we took our tiny dicks out at started to dry hump the toys from our happy meals
> Ariel from the little mermaids head was completely covered by my foreskin when my sister walked in
> turned around and never talked about it
>>698082577
I was 1 in 2010
>>698085088
post pic
>>698085088
"Hey mom I was on your facebook page the other day and I saw that super embarassing picture of me as a kid hahaha take it down it's terrible"
"Oh I remember that honey hahaha okay I'll take it down"
It's like you people have never entered dialogue with another human being before
>>698073900
Someone of my pathfinder group was dry humping my sleeping bag. I draw a knife and try to stab him. Did not work and I had to sleep outside for this. Mabye I was not that mentaly stable at 10.
>>698080258
How'd you bite with a broken jaw?
>>698087963
lost
was the car okay? Did you make up?
>>698082519
hahaha is that life is strange
>>698079425
it's water under the bridge you stupid fucking faggot
>>698075946
gif made me kek
>>698086413
That's why moot is now on permaban.
Real story was that top execs of 4chan held a trial and ruled unanimously that moot violated the rules in the beginning.
All underaged should be b& from the internet IMHHHO
Not really a green text but I used to masturbate stealthily in class to my hot/young math teacher.
She was like 24 and straight out of college.I ended up getting a 70% in that class, which is one point above an F
>>698089057
no fucking way, it has my cringey teen acne face and i know you guys would make it a meme and post it in
beta male cringe threads
>>698077777
>>698089095
you're a dipshit if you think all moms take orders from theit sons
my mom was a 10/10 attention whore and no matter what i said she would not take it down
>>698088964
Younger or older sister?
Did awesome stuff. Did dumb stuff. Just gotta try, anon. Just try...Just try.....
>>698089047
not even b8
born april 1998 :3
â–²
▲▲
>>698073900
jesus christ man, I bandwagoned on the brony train back in 2011 too, luckily I wised up after just a few months and recognized my extreme autism, but christ mate you told your parents? I'm sorry.
Lol im 26. someone plz kill me
>>698089832
2 years older. You horny?
>>698073900
FAGGOT
>>698078132
thats not cringy.
i started at 7.
was even jacking it to rape scenes in movies.
get on my level
>>698090126
Aye
>>698078132
Who was showing u porn
>be me
>3rd grade
>jerking off during the lesson, hands inside of pants
>watching the girl i liked
>mfw everyone noticed
>4 years all girls in my class hated me and always laughed on me
>>698078523
Your parents probably should have a abused you.
>>698074023
it's been 6 years nigger
>>698090320
Kek, implying they didn't.
>>698090206
Which is better: older or younger?
>>698089917
>tfw im underage
been here for 2 years, i love /b/, its my home board
the ride never ends
>>698090330
Sub-humans
>>698090507
Younger for sure
>>698090636
How old?
>>698077605
thats pretty alpha bro
>>698090913
Eh that doesn't count.
>>698088405
Embrace the night
>>698086527
kek
100% agree
>>698090913
DW its fine anon, it's not like I was 18 the first time I came here
>be 13 years old
>really awkward and shy but have some friends
>hanging out with my friends and some older kids
>older kids are playing basketball
>be terrible at basketball
>older kid invites me to 1v1
>imfucked.jpg
>reluctantly accept the offer
>proceed to get crossed into the shadow zone
>everyone laughs their asses off at my autistic tier basketball skills
>no idea what is even happening at this point
>begin to cry at the sheer weight of my embarrassment
>older kids now are forced to console me for the better part of 30 minutes to get me to stop crying
>never play basketball again after that
>>698090995
here is a pic of me
rate me
>>698086834
>>698076101
why didn't you just say the nigger cut you?
he already set himself for it
>>698087666
newfag here
what does he mean by spaghetti
>>698091619
i honestly still dont know, but i think it means he loses his shit and acts autistic
>>698091619
Bait and bait
>>698091355
>>698091900
>>698089116
The muscles weren't broken and they drive the action.
>>698082519
Post pics
>>698092119
>believing muscles drive bones and not magic
Next thing you will tell me is the Lord isnt real
>>698089469
Post it anon, become a legend.
>>698087963
lol
>>698080258
I got a good chuckle from this thanks anon.
Reminded me of the greentexting story of the guy who shit himself and pretended to faint in the college class. That shit is hilarious
>>698092424
Only Lord Satan is real.
>be 34 (still a kid, im young at heart)
>mummy asks if chicken tendies were good
>i say no because she didnt cover them in maple syrup
>she starts to tear up because i hate her and her cooking and she is useless
>just as im about to laugh, a wind crosses my bum cheeks
>oo la la
>twist my french mustache
>must get to toilet
>roll all 400 pounds of me into the living room where my gaming Computer, gaming chair, and installed toilet is
>lift myself up onto toilet heaving
>as soon as my cheeks hit the cold, cold toilet seat they erupt into hellfire
>liquidy red/orange shit hits the toilet at mach 6 speed
>leaving a hole in it
>all the water and shit floods out
>i cry for mommy, see her gag when she runs to my aid
>tfw she slips
>i roll over to her, she isnt responding
>put my ass on her head and engulf the entirety of it
>shit all over her face
>this gives me a boner
>have happy time with her lower mouth hole
I miss being a kid
>>698092688
I prefer he and you become an hero.
>>698092966
nig-nog you cant use the same reaction image twice in one thread
>>698093106
What the fuck.
>>698083797
I had a similar outburst the first time I got in trouble too in 6th grade. Feels bad man.
>>698093418
What, you never have mummy/son time?
>be me (hurdurr)
>with my best friend in locker room about to go to swim class
>shower and all the usual stuff.
>grab my swim trunks and walk to the door out to the pool
>keep walking through the door forgetting im still holding my swim trunks in my hand
as i exit the door 2 girls are standing with their backs turned.
>One of them turn and notice me looking around for where im supposed to go.
>she says " look, look!" while poking the other girl
>i panic realizing what i did and manage to put on the swim trunks before the other girl turns around
>the other girl gives girl number 1 a look of "wtf what is so interesting for me to see?"
>mfw
>>698089286
newfriend detected
>>698077777
Hey, nice numbers.
>>698073900
>I should not be of this earth
I agree.
>>698073900
if you like something (mlp isn't that particularly weird) then you should just tell everybody who doesn't like it to fuck themselves with a cactus.
>normal people clothes
>your mom should fucking kill herself
>be me
>12th grade
>sweating profusely at in class
>im about to ask miss hot tiday bum bum to prom
>get up when she walks into the room
>she looks at me with a terrified expression
>i get scared and manage to squeak a ''what'' in my manchild voice
>she says nothing quickly and tries to walk by me
>i stand in her way and block her
>she starts to cry and tries to squeeze past me
>i grab her by the right side of her head and slams the other side into the wall because i love her
>paramedics pronounce her dead when they get there
>have to go to prom with Rebecca
uglystein
>>698094285
>tfw feels real bad man
>i didnt even get to dance with Rebecca
>>698093106
>>698094476
check these cunt
>>698093657
kek
>>698094584
holy shit i got singles
>>698089143
The window looked like it had a bowling ball thrown into it
I also had some cuts around my face and neck, thankgod i didnt cut my fucking jugular
>>698094819
two singles in a row
>>698094957
>>698094819
>>698094584
I got one
>Be me
>Fifth Grade
>Had this one entertaining book with humanoid mice
>Pictures were included
>Had a girl character mouse
>Thought she was hot
>Jerked off and came in the book on one of her pictures
>Closed the book
>Returned it to the library
>The book is still probably in the library... with jizz in it...
>Mfw
>>698084822
Eyyy dem numbers doe
>>698089917
I hope you fuckin die
>>698094847
and you got singles too
nice man
>>698095024
nigger look at these quads
>>698073900
I'm not sure you really need mlp clothes and telling everyone to be a bronie. My friends don't care much that I watch mlp. One of them watches it himself. Be proud bronie, but discreet one.
>>698095152
Hahahaha Because I was born in 1998? Ok anon that's nice.
>>698095397
>>698095423
no because you fucked up triforce (i cant even do it but i know i shouldnt try) and you didnt even find a reaction image and instead put '':3'' the most cringy shit you could
10/10 for cringe in cringe thread
>>698095508
okay fine look at these trips
>>698093652
I bestow upon you, the Memer's Ancient Treasure.
http://imgur.com/a/U2dTR
>>698095769
>>698086354
sure feels like summer in here
>>698095769
brah its alright.
>be me, 15
>become maximum turbo weeb
>trying to tell guys all japanese animation is superior
>try telling friends parents
>teachers
>inanimate objects
>make religious family watch end of evangelion
>end of tape, they sit there dumbfounded
>"see? this is what the bible was really trying to say!"
after about a year i started getting better at recognizing that expression of painful disinterest from people. started learning how to drop it/switch subjects and shit.
lol, i think everyone goes through an obsessive/irritating phase OP. trick is being able to knock it the fuck off.
I used to shit myself regularly at school. Yup, I was that guy. It didn't stop until I was like 12.
>>698095805
nice
>>698082974
The ultimate cringe!!
>>698095671
Lol it was intentional because of how much of a newfag I am. Calm down anon, it's all going to be ok.
>>698084187
Maybe it was your dad
>>698095075
animorphs?
> be 12 yr old faggot
> reading some shitty starcraft book
> classmate asks me what I'm reading
> wanted to look cool so no answer
> asks again
> no answer
> he starts a raptard screech right in my ear
> doesn't stop
> tell him to stop or I'll fuck him up
> doesn't stop
> I throw him on the ground and start hitting me while he's trying to twist my finger or some shit
> mfw blood running out of his nose
> teacher comes
> start crying like a fagg cause I never seriously hit anyone before
> become best friends after
>>698078994
no, winners and zellers
>be me
>be 12-13
>5th/6th grade
>have friend that is /pol/ incarnate, also my age
>spend two school years openly sieg heiling
>Hitler salutes inside class
>PowerPoint presentations of Holocaust denial theory
>interrupting history teachers to ask about "the jews"
>calling racial and ethnic slurs to other classmates
>we learned some German Nazi sound bytes
>yelling "let's burn the jews!" in German during recess
>calling a Russian girl who was in our class a "dirty jew"
>mfw remembering those years
>>698096730
*start hitting him not me didn't notice I'm cause on mobile
>>698096579
honestly if he told me it was so, i would probably kek
i still dont like red crayons to this day
>>698074742
>coat of trips
Did this as well in school
Those were the days
>>698096891
looks like I'm still retarded
>be 15 at time
>had only one friend
>messaging my friend on some old website we used to use
>cant remember how exactly but the conversation goes to him talking about some action movie he had just watched
>he tells me the explosions were cool af
> i reply along the lines of "haha what if that was the school xD"
>he doesnt reply
>weird
>think nothing of it and sign off for bed
>7:30 in the morning
>like 6 police are at my door
> dad is trying to understand what the fuck is going on
>without warning they come into my bedroom and haul me out to a van
>get to police station
>long story short they interrogated me for 13 straight hours
>they took my dna, fingerprints, everything
>finally come home
>open door to my house
>long story short they stole about $2000 worth of things they deemed "evidence" mostly electronics
>parents still hate me
> be me
> 14 - 15 years old
> have crush on grill
> try to impress her during school trip
> we are in bus
> give her my phone
> show her guro picture
> she calls me a creep and turns back
> feels bad man
>>698096768
>tfw was in the same situation but in 7th grade
>had a weeabo friend who was my nazi buddy
>tfw years later im still known as the weird kid for all that shit
>i remember seig heiling towards some muslim bitch and it just spread around
that i was autistic
>ich leibe juden
>>698074918
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
kek
>>698080465
hello fellow britbong
>>698082927
i want to be you
>>698097397
Kek. I ended up getting pissed with the guy and we are not friends anymore. I still know some people from my class and we just laugh and joke about those years. They're alright.
>>698074023
You god damn well know every single one of us was like 13 when we started posting on this fucking website.
I'm 20 now. Jesus fucking Christ.
>>698080671
Wow, you're so smart!
>>698082927
Lol. I used to correct my teacher all the time.
Gotta little too carried and 'corrected' them wrongly once or twice, lol.
>be me
When i was yonger (12-13) i thought i was a boss ass at computers so i told all my teachers that i hack and that i code. and one day a girl lost her password on facebook and i told her she was hacked by me. and i got suspended because her dad got mad and told the school.
>>698080671
>typing class
Legit oldfag detected
I know you're here Nathan
>>698097049
we're posting cringe stories on 4chan: The special-ed detention hall of the internet. We're all retarded.
>7th grade
>I just slept and never did homework
>outcast of the outcasts
>basically the most hardcore edgelord
>anyway I obviously got in trouble for doing jack shit
>EVERY time I got yelled at I burst into tears
>every single fucking week I get sent to the counselor
>started failing my classes because I was always at the counselor's office
>had to switch to "stupid people classes" because I was failing honors
>people in that class hadn't witnessed my shit
>had the hots for some chick behind me
>we had the same interests and she had nice titties
>when I tried to talk to her to ask her out she calls me 'crybaby boy'
>mfw
>afraid of asking girls out until Junior year of high school after that point
To be honest I could've just done my shit and not cried all the damn time
SINGLES GET
>>698083296
Anon, my advice to you is to not present as male, and instead present as gender-neutral.
That why you look like a Dyke.
short story - > be me , be 17 , watch gay porn , friend finds gay porn on battle-station command monitor , explain im not gay , friend never speaks to me again
>>698097733
i ended up disliking mine too
he weeb'd out on me in the bathroom and naruto style threw a paper shuriken into my eye, so i punched him in the nose and he hit his head off the wall
>mfw he still waved to me in the hallways after that
>>698097386
YUCK!
>>698098423
true that
>>698073900
Kill yourself
>>698097767
I'm 30+ now and started reading here in my mid 20s.
They call me Jesus occasionally.
>be me
>be 11 years old (last millenium, mo'fos)
>be absolute loner in school
>don't care for clothes much
>don't really know how personal hygiene works
>don't have any clue why people joke about my hair all the time
>mfw I realize after several years that simply making your hair wet and combing it back doesn't keep it in place
>>698073900
i would occasionally fuck OPs mom when i was about 14.
she'd come over every once in awhile when her son was away for school.
she'd get naked as soon as she came in, put on her favorite song and start fucking me while crying. she said the song reminded her of when her son was growing up, she missed him and couldn't hold the tears back. it made her and me cum buckets. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?
this was the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFyuQUKQM6g
>>698098814
now that's just a win right there.
>>698098553
Kek. Cheers anon.
>>698098814
And i thought this copypasta died out
>>698087963
>be me
>be in 1st/2nd grade (cant remember)
>in class
>have to shit
>teacher is bitch and refuses to let me go
>i beg
>still no
>sit thru class holding shit in
>itstryingtocomeoutohshit.jpg
>grab sides of chair and pull my ass into the chair extremely viciously
>make joke saying gravity is really strong or something
>girl that i was friends with laughs
i managed to hold it in but it came very close
>>698098814
My cum is potent and many. I went to yale for 20 years to learn to fuck yo mama right. Every girl that sees me gets wet and soils her knickers. Get in my league faggot, before i dox you and ruin your life. Step up, right here, right now, i swear i will pull my katana.
>>698077777
QQQQQUINTTTTSSSS
First ever green text expect shit
> be me, first grade
> middle of assembly, huge gym, entire school in it
>having to piss, despite going piss earlier
> ask teacher, teacher says no
>piss my pants less then 5 min later
>my piss spread far and wide
>many kids got wet, and I got sent home
>>698099727
sauce
>>698099727
yeah dude i fucking hate 1st/2nd grade teachers they literally never say yes
i am>>698099636 so i understand your troubles
>>698091331
pathetic
>>698079866
I sometimes make weird little songs too, but why are you laughing to yourself?
>>698076332
*thumbs up*
>>698099922
want sum fuk?
>>698074144
dubs say since yesterday
>>698073900
Stalked the shit out of a hot teacher
> be jr. in high school and super horny
> be super beta.... have what's now called "Social Anxiety Disorder"
> only contact I can have with women is anonymous so stalk hot teacher
> obscene phone calls galore. . . said truly sickening things to her probably about 10 calls in total
> drive by her house a dozen times thinking about her
> went trick-or-treating at her house in disguise just to be close to her
> followed her and her family in their car
Cringing as I write this.
There is some truth to the idea that urges can't be entirely repressed- they'll only find other outlets. My urges to relate to women took a disgusting turn when I couldn't approach girls normally.
I left her a cancerbook note from a trollphile telling her what a great teacher she was . . .hopefully made her feel good and tried to make up for being such a cringey dipshit to her.
>>698095805
TY bookmarked it
>>698099867
Fate/illya
>>698100744
thank ye
>be me
>1st grade
>wacking it like a champ
>notreally.jpg
>process for masturbating back then as follows
>facedown
>pillow under crotch
>vault pelvis into the air
>slam dick down on pillow
>looks like crazy exaggerated humping
>no idea this is not socially acceptable
>anyway...
>nap time
>morelikefaptime
>begin my process
>slam slam slam
>starting to get friction burn
>keep going
>hurts really bad
>check if I'm bleeding
>I'm not
>resume
>scream in pain
>still going
>teach comes over
>face a mix of horror and confusion
>fuckit.jog
>"ANON WE DO NOT DO THAT HERE!"
>everybody looks
>embarrassed
>shame
>do it again next faptime
>>698087088
hahaha lost!
>>698073900
Still cringing to this day
>Be in 1st grade
>obsessed with star wars
>girl I liked the whole school year
>be dress up day
>dress up as Anakin skywalker
>teacher tells us to share costumes
>think im smooth as fuck
>autism.exe
>start talking about how much I like girl in class and how she is Padme
>girl gets pissed
>brain.exe stopped responding
>tell her she is anyways
>she starts screaming at me
>teacher calms her down, tells me to sit down
>whole class doesn't care
Then another one a few years back
>Be obsessed with name Kurt
>Thought it was a cool name
>first day of Kindergarten
>teacher asking our names
>Think my name can be what I want
>Get asked name
>They call me Kurt! Kurt Wild!
>Teacher laughs and asks real name
>persist
>end up making whole class delay a day because confused shit out of teacher making them think they had the wrong kid
>>698101086
awful
>be me
>be 14
>live in Moldova( a mix of Romania and Russia )
> every 9 th grade have a military check
> they check our overall health if we can go fight Isis
> imeanitsok.jpg
> last room is penis check
> moment of pulling down pants
> doc asked if I'm cold
> smh other kids heard it
> ohshit.jpg
> was teased till the end of year
> eventually everyone forgot about it
> am still insecure about it
> thnxalotdoc.jpg
>>698101327
lol @kurt wild ... thats pretty funny
>>698088405
carpe noctem brother
>>698087963
moar?
>>698073900
like what you like dude. this society in general is fucked up and even though I don't dig MLP myself, it shouldn't make other people be such retards about it. we definitely evolved from apes... some people are just farther back in the process of evolution towards acceptance and peace, brotherhood, black or white, MLP or not. no need to cause unnecessary beef with people just because they don't like something that somebody else does.
>>698097049
i agree
i was real young when the brony thing started, so I ended up being one, and I shit you not, posting everyday and roleplaying on "equestriaforums.com"
>>698073900
>Me, age 14, lets try to install linux on my computer.
>No Xwindows
>Go on IRC, for help
>Yeah, find help here
>tubgirl.com
>OMGWTF
>fap any way
>be me
>be in 4th grade
>i draw dicks on sticky notes because it makes friends laugh
>when done i stuff it into my desk
>desk is really packed
>one day teacher says, "anon after school we're gonna clean your desk"
>ok.jpg
>completely forgot about dick drawings
>after school
>teacher grabs papers
>she looks through sticky notes
>looks at me in disgust
>ohshit.jpg
>start crying
>get sent to office
>principal doesn't know what to do
>dad comes to check on me since it's kinda late
>gives him all sticky notes
>doesn't check
>get home
>mom looks through sticky notes
>it was a bad week
>go to school
>teacher tells other teachers
>one day they gave us sticky notes
>i was in other class for something
>teacher for that class tells me she knows what i draw
>mfw
>>698100526
and I bet you've been here all summer
>>698073900
>Canadian
cringed hard
Jerked off in a hotel room with my mom on the other bed.
> be 17 on road with mom on college visit
> get 1 room 2 beds
> she's asleep & I'm horny
> take lotion
> fap
Hopefully she didn't hear.... that's why you don't do road trips with your mom... no place to spank the monkey
>be me 8 yo
>its winter, car wont start
>get one hour late to school (took bus)
>open door to class
>start crying
i still dont know why the fuck I started crying I didn't even understand back then
>>698097154
Kill them . Murder their families blender face their children and feed the slurry to the. As you show them the tape of his families screams. Then rape and burn the body
>>698077777
Checked
>>698088405
In Skyrim being a vampire is wayy better than being a werewolf. Like way
>be me
>13
>we could write on the tables with balls of tinfoil
>dick around with friends for whole class
>draw giant dick on table with tinfoil
>teacher just walked by
>"anon what are you doing?"
>AUTISM ACTIVATED.JPG
>it was just my friend teach
>friend's sandniggercolor
>my retarded brain thinks this will work
>have to clean table
>mfw all my friends where laughing at me because i'm stroking a giant dick off the table
> Ran away from home at age 9
> leaves note saying I was leaving and if they really cared they could find me at the park
> hours pass nobody arrives
> break down as my cry for help went unnoticed
> walk home around 9pm and find note right where I left it.
> throw it away and never mentioned it again.
>be me around 13
>going up the stairs in school
>some kid in front of going up so slow
>im kinda spaced out, just want to go up the damn stairs
>get annoyed
>push him forward by his ass with 2 hands with full force
>mfw it was a teacher
>mfw i technically tapped his ass
>he almost fell forward
>turn around, gave me the weirdest look
>nothing happened, i played it off as accident, apologized, still felt like dying after
