You know what to do /b/. Get my ass laid
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You know what to do /b/. Get my ass laid
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
>>697363231
Reroll
do I? if youd suck me youd catch the rarest pokemon
>>697363263
Reroll
How bout you catch herpes on dis dick babe?
>>697363231
Re-reeeeroll
id suck you ;)
Yea? Well you're the one who is gonna suck tonight if you know what i mean :^)
AYY girl u want some fuck
I LOVE DICKS SO MUCH I JUST LOVE SHOVING THEM IN MY TINY FACE HOLE OH BOY OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOY BLACK PEOPLE ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH BECAUSE THEY HAVE PENISES TOO BIG TO FIT IN MY MOUTH OH
BOY
>>697363561
You ready for 8th grade Jimmy?
>>697363231
this
Nicole, why havent we fucked yet?
I got a diglett you can catch ;)
>>697363948
roll
This, OP
>>697363948
Reroll cause I'll prolly never get 66 anyways
Hey, wanna fuck?
Have you heard of a pokemon called dickachu?
>>697363231
Rolling for this one
>>697363231
rolll
>>697364164
Reroll
>>697363561
Rolling
>>697363231
reroll
>>697363231
Please
>>697363059
I havent been able to catch a titachew, you got one you can show me?
Rolling
Ask if shes into anal play
You wanna hear the good word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
niggers
Cool, I'll be free at 3. You wanna fu k?
Please fuck my ass
>>697363561
Rolling for this
>>697363231
rolan
Do you want my pokedick?
Can I pee on you later?
>>697364604
rolling for this
>>697364074
Rolling for this
>>697363231
rerolan
>>697364604
rolls
I've got an onix for you to catch here
>>697364604
Reroll
We gonna fuck or what?
can I shove my massive ding dong between your squishy poke balls?
Fuck you, I hate you
Shit i have a good ol' aidskemon for you here fam
Potato
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if you do not reply to this your mother will die tonight.
>>697364912
Roll
>>697363059
Im a beta piece of shit who doesnt have the balls to man up and fuck the shit out of you.
>>697364969
Re roll
>>697364996
Reroll
I want to touch your pokertits with my pokedick.
>>697365025
Roll
>>697364604
roolll
>>697365084
Roll
I usually only fuck guys. I love dicks. But i really want to try girls out for a change. Want to be that lucky girl?
>>697365062
Rollerino
OP you shitstain, no one's gonna roll a fucking 66
You guys are clingy as fuck.
Here's some advice:
After you do the basic pursuing of a woman to show your interest and you know that she has some interest, you no longer should be the one doing most of the contacting, she must be the one to initiate contact 80-90% of the time.
It's simple: If they are pursuing you, then they can't reject you.
If a girl rejects your advances to meet up twice (without giving alternative dates), have some fucking self respect and walk away. If she is interested, she will contact you and bring up getting together, if not, take the fucking hint.
If a woman ever tells you that "we should be friends", say no and walk the fuck away but tell her she can contact you if she changes her mind to keep the door open. Never initiate contact ever again with her and keep your conversations polite but very short if the initiates contact and tell her you have shit to do and that she should keep in touch.
If a woman lets you walk out of her life, then she wasn't worth it in the first place, her loss, know your worth, faggots.
With this attitude YOU will be the prize and be the one telling women to stop contacting you because they don't meet YOUR standards (i.e. they only want friendship or whatever the fuck or it just doesn't work for you).
Have abundance mentality, even if you don't have anything else going on. Always come from a position of strength.
>>697365154
Rerollin
>>697363948
Rolling
>>697365207
●
●
●
●
h3h3productions
>>697365154
Lmao REROLL
>>697363948
rolling for this one
SUCC
I hope you like the smell of gonorrhea! Here I come!
>>697365264
Close enough
>>697364736
Roll
>>697364818
roll
Suck my ass you dirty nigger
>>697365506
That means i want to have sex
say youre gay
So...(clinches butt cheeks), are you into rape fantasies? Because it's the only way I can get off. Is through rape.
>>697365506
You can stick a diglett in my ass if you like?
>>697365835
rolll
I heard there was a Charmander in your pussy. Can I catch it?
>>697365952
so you ARE a slut. Good gravy. Everyone was saying it, but I didn't believe it. I feel like Obama. I want some of that fuckin chicken.
>>697366060
roll
Just suck it
>>697366060
rollin for chicken
>>697365952
"Take a hint ;)"
>>697365952
she a ho
>>697365506
you know i know someone who can change it to digtrio
I'd like to say you're the first 4 I've hit on today, but you're not ;P
>>697366060
this
Wanna get gangbanged by me and my Dugtrio?
>>697365952
Cool, lets have sex
>>697366135
Roll
>>697366060
slut
>>697365207
Or just be attractive/present yourself well and make sure your image is viewed as attractive. (The image of you is more important than the facts. if a girl thinks that all other girls see you as the sexiest guy on the planet, it does not matter if you look like Kevin Malone from the Office. She will think you are the sexiest thing she has ever had the pleasure to lay her eyes on.) You don't even have to do this shit, trust me. Never asked a girl out or taken pretty much any of these into account, lost my virginity at 15 and im dating a 9/10 blonde that's obsessed with me. It's all about how you're perceived, and nothing effects peoples' perceptions of you more than your own actions.
You stupid slutty bitch
>>697366060
rolling for this. brilliant.
>>697366277
WINRAR!
How about we see if my oingo boingo fits in your velvet underground
>>697366277
winrar
>>697366277
delivrar op
>>697366252
Roll for this
Yeah but it's the first time it's worked today
Your mother will die in her sleep tonight.
Let me spread my seed on your toes
>>697365952
The sad thing is the fact that you're having a conversation about Pokemon go.
sorry , i didn't ment that. let's say pizza at my place? wearing nothing but underwear, whaddya say?
>>697366442
this would have been better.
>>697366277
Winrar
>>697366060
rolls
I farted inside my dads pissing ass, wait WHERES MY GRANDMAS SANDALS, o ok I shit in my moms fart hole
You wanna go catch Pokemon with me later then fuck?
Pokie dokie. You are what you eat ... wanna suck my squirtle then, he's a bit off the beaten track lately and could use a hand ;)
Okay to hell with pokemon, let me fuck your face?
>>697366534
nah, the sad thing is you can get laid no fuckin problem talking pretty much solely about pokemon go, if op had wheels and doesn't look terrible he could get some pussy from this pokemon go convo, nicoles seeming a bit thirsty
>>697366685
roll this so she'll think OP is weird as fuk
Wanna compare donut holes?
>>697366685
rolll
Gotta catch em all? How about you catch a giant log of shit from my ass in that cock loving mouth of yours.
>>697366685
rolll bby
I was at work last week and I TOTALLY HAD THE MOST MASSIVE DIARRHEA IN HISTORY. You should have seen it. Blood everywhere. And the smell.
All these people started throwing up as I lay there in a puddle of my own excrement. Wow.
So...you wanna make love?
lather me in your period, I want your rotten eggs
I don't play Pokemon bitch I play hungry sharks you hungry for dick?
>>697365952
Yeah, these pickup lines probably get a little tiresome I'd imagine. Let me cut right to the chase. You're asshole, I want to eat the poo poo that comes out.
OP: Phone dieded, gimme a sec
>>697366442
this.
OP fuck a dubs if you actually want to get laid today you'll take my advice. from the way she types she seems open to the idea of fat dick imminently
>>697367067
your*
Guys. I know that last dubs was legit, but I don't want to send her that. She's not a racist.
>>697367151
>>697367110
Take the advice get laid
>>697367110
I second this. She's practically jumping on the dick now. Fuck the dubs
>>697364182
Kek
>>697366909
Pleas this?? Rolllllllll
you can pikachew these nuts
>>697367151
op do you want some pussy or do you want to make some neckbeards on 4chan laugh, dont be a faggot. wheel that bitch. take my advice.
>>697367229
Can I squirtle on your jigglypuffs
>>697366909
my sides, this
>>697367151
yeah the threads mostly populated with 15 year olds that just want to see how a girl reacts to their xdxd lol ;p so random thoughts, it is summer after all
i wana snif ur grandmas ass hole ya
OP is kill.
>>697367474
Stop playing games, let's fuck.
>>697367430
Reroll
>>697367151
Listen to the wise men
>>697367474
>>697367474
Suck my pokeballs
How about I pick you up after work and we netflix and chill?
>>697367474
you're an idiot dude you could be getting laid later tonight if you'd just grow some balls and use a real response
>>697367474
confirmed as fake. Good one OP.
Move along everyone. This is fucking gay.
>>697367582
roll
>>697367582
Roll
Now come to my house and suck the dick of papa
>>697367582
rol
>>697367474
Nice job, you delivered to /b/. Your anonymous /b/ persona will forever be revered until this thread dies. Then you'll be stuck back in the real world not getting laid. Nice job.
im gay so no thx
>>697367053
rolling
I'd go all in Ratata on your ass if i was there ;^D
>>697367645
nah i see a girl saying that to randomly being called a slut by a friend
nigger
>>697367622
do the kys
>>697367755
Winrar
I'll fuck you harder than Brock fucked Ash's boipucci on the downtime of the episides
Send picture of your cock and say "cock uses harden..its super effective!
>>697367755
winrar
u should of titled the thread," dubs but if i dont like it i wont post it" u sack of shit ass bich
>>697367582
Roll
>>697367755
this is what you get op when you faggot
>>697367474
how about drinks after work tomorrow?
>>697367622
I'm OP and I'm a huge fucking faggot, please rape my face
I think your tight asshole needs a good seeing to, let me get to work on it with my Dickachu.
I've been thinking about this pretty hard over the last few days...will you marry me? I know it's sudden, but just think: we could have kids super fast, get that out of the way, then by the time we were 40 they'd be out of the house and we could travel the world, having strange butt sex in every country. Thoughts?
(I have butterflies in my stomach.)
Why Haven't we fucked yet?
But anyway would you like to come over so we could watch teletubbies or something? My mom could make us some snacks.
Come to my house babe
OP dude you turned down pussy, because you were too much of a bitch to use a real response, and because you valued making like 3 fat neckbeards that you'll never ever possibly meet laugh over fucking a bitch. what is wrong with you.
succ me papi
>>697368089
rolllling
2098638927 call her
Send me a pic on how you would fix my problem then
wan sum fucc
>>697368022
nah i said im fukin gay u dumb bich can u not fukin read?,dumb shity cunt
>>697368089
this.
>>697368022
YOU FUCKING PRICK JUST TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY BEING HANDED TO YOU
>>697368022
I hope you have enough room for my fat cock, because I'm going to ram it into your spine, and break your goddamn stomach
>>697368022
YOU GONNA GET SOME PUSSY MY BOI
>>697367622
WINRAR
>>697368022
Could I just get your moms number?
>>697363059
Dam do chick fala employees really work that long?
>>697368022
OP stop now before its too late.
>>697368240
Rolling
>>697368273
Wtf
>>697368022
after work tomorrow?
>>697368273
That doesn't even make sense, and is really stupid.
>>697368345
THIS
>>697368022
why havent we fucked yet?
Do it op get laid fag
When can we meet up?
Okay
>>697368363
rollll
>>697368022
Thread is bait confirmed
If you think this shit is real you've never conversed with a female online
Last night, I fucked this chick that must have weighed 400 lbs. Have you ever smelled the nether region of someone that big? It was like this sick, sweet smell. When I was munching her box I literally almost vomited into her gunt. Needless to say, I'm no longer a virgin.
>>697368396
Someone hasn't seen The Running Man
>>697368453
Please this
Let's fuck then you dirty bitch
so are we fuckin then or what?
>>697368472
This my boi
>>697368472
Roll
>>697368022
My dick is about nigger shades darker than the rest of my skin.
>>697368522
>WINRAR
cmon girl lets chill, and ILL FUKIN CUT YO ASS WITH MY MOMS BUTT
You think you are good enough to change that?
I'm going to Fil-a-Chick (you, tee hee).
Op is a faggot
>>697368022
simply tell her
>you can't
Its not rape if you shout surprise is it?
>>697368472
Reroll
>>697368472
This
>>697368700
WINRAR
>>697368472
Rollin
me and u tomorrow babe
Will you make my penis smell fishy?
Hey Nicole, I am sorry but tbh I think you shouldn't fuck me. My bros and I are playing with you lmao
>>697368700
Roll
>>697368700
Oh god damnit, please don't add the teehee
>>697368472
Reroll
>>697368472
Roll
>>697368396
>>697368362
Someone has never seen the Arnold prank calls
Have you seen that awesome video on the internet where that toddler gets ass raped? I've jerked it several times to that one. We can watch it together!
>>697368022
take the chance you fag and get laid
>>697368700
This without the tee hee
>>697368472
OP pls, don't mess this up
>>697368755
7ZIP
>>697368740
roll
OP i too much of a faget
please no I'm a snickerlicker
>>697368472
Rolling
>>697368849
roll
Holy shit, I really like eating tendies, you know that?
nicole suk my picole
>>697368266
WINRAR
Im black from the waist down and hes hungry for your sweet chicken juice.
>>697368923
Winrar
Uhh how about you Pokemon Go fuck yourself
>>697368923
WINRAR
WILL OP REALLY GET THAT ASS
>>697368923
WINRAR
>>697368849
rolling
>>697368923
Winrar
You suck my cock
>>697368788
Winrar
>>697368923
>>697368923
REAL WINRAR! TOTALLY GAY!
AND OP, do dubs. It takes too long to get a specific number because it's a 1/100 chance versus 1/10 for dubs. Fucking nigger. L2 do a fucking roll thread, even if it is fake and a bunch of horse shit. Fucking pussy. I'd punch you in the head if you were here.
>>697369011
loool dubs u gottta say it u dum bich
Mommy told me not to let girls do bad touch, maybe we just snuggle?
>>697363059
well umm *adjusts tie* when would be the best place to meet?
>>697368022
4chan says: hello, post some nudes for us
COME ON AND SLAM
>>697369136
My ass is ready For some rimming
can i have a peak at you!
I like sniffing Iguanas on the weekend
honestly I'm a loser for being interested in a girl like you. I'm way smoother than the cactus asses. let me have a chance to prove it to you. i can play violin. here a link to my video >>697363059
If we have sex, can we use mayonese as lube?
Ass to ass!
I want to rape your pooper with my floppy
Have you ever watched a real man take a shit? I only eat bran.
This is starting to look good OP dont scew it up
>>697368788
Oh boy.
>>697369333
YEAH BOI
>>697368923
he got it
We could meet up and watch pokemon or something. Oh and mom could make us some snacks. We would have a great time!
Meet me at my place
SUCK IT
>>697369344
winrar
Can you shit inside my peehole?
let me slam my dickerino in your butterino
Im gonna tear your Cloyster to shreds
Please save me. Im being controlled by morbidly obese neckbeard scum, I have folders filled with My Little Pony porn and I just cant stop jerking off to African water charity advertisements.
Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.
: ^)
I was molested as a child. I'll tell you all the gritty deets when we get together,
(hint: I beat myself in the testicles with a shoe every night before bed to scare away the shame).
I'm just messing with you baby. I love cock
we could drift into the sun with a lighter filled with cum - I'm a poet
>>697369552
Kek roll
I've got a thick turd waiting for you ;)
>>697369376
continue thread
You think you can make this dick evolve. Gonna need a nice ass stone!
>>697369638
I molested a child. I'll tell you all the gritty deets when we get together
Im gonna your ass, bitch
>>697369136
I want you to shit in my mouth, then face fuck me with a strap on.
>>697369712
So close
Pump it like it's hot
I like underage boys
does this arouse you? Cause I'm diamonds bby
>>697369498
Kek roll
>>697364074
Did this one to my gf. She thought other was adorable, screenshotted and posted it to FB before reading the punchline. Basically best case scenario
>>697369712
Damn....
If you want, I'll take you to The Olive Garden for dinner and then we can shag in the bathroom and do a dine-and-dash. Man...those bread sticks and the all you can eat dick....er....I mean salad (tee hee).
just so you know i like to do some weird stuff
>>697369866
Lol
Come at my my house and let's play fuck fortress 2 !
Would you let me stuff a chick fil a chicken breast into your asshole Desu?
Can you please suck my dick, I haven't had any physical contact with a woman in a long time.
Fucking Update us OP
>>697369498
roll
>>697369904
rollllll
i want a sharpie in the pooper
LoL is a fun game actually : ^)
>>697369912
so close, rolling 4 this one
>>697369904
this one.
I think op bailed us
I SHIT GAS FROM MY ASS
Say "show feet plz"
I let me dog smash it raw. Didn't really hurt that much. Want to try it?
kys
Im currently posting our conversation online, what you gotta say to a bunch of neckbeard faggots?
>>697368254
kek, this please
>>697363059
First step is not to ask anonymous to get you laid
>>697369998
fucking up the >>697369999 get
Just fkn get 11
DO YOU LOVE THIS SHIT?
ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW?
DO YOU EVER GET NERVOUS?
ARE YOU SINGLE?
I HEARD YOU FUCKED YOUR GIRL, IS IT TRUE?
YOU GETTIN MONEY? YOU THINK THEM NIGGAS YOU WITH IS WIT YOU?
imma wife you then put you in a burkha and keep you as the ugly pet you are
>>697370192
12 year old faggot detected
And, by the way, YOU suck
>>697369912
roll
Reply with "I'm Down" if she gives a time
Say "I want you to shit in my mouth while i masturbate to pictures of your dad."
Can I put my beniz in to yuor vaginaz?
>>697370351
Anon, you fucking ruined your chances with that. Kill yourself.
Do you have any strapons i just like reciving
I think im in love with you
ONe time I only ate corn for two weeks so I could shit only corn husks. Pretty epic stuff. I'm always doing zany things to impress the bitches.
And my fedora collection: 135 fedoras. ALL ORDERED FROM OTHER COUNTRIES.
I even have a fucking PINK fedora that I wear to Boniecon. Pretty exciting stuff. Also - I am an atheist. So I have some concerns about you working at Chick-Fil-a. Time to quit if you want this dick, you silly cunt.
>>697370400
WINRAR
>>697370099
How has no1 rolled 11 !?
>>697370286
AND I SAY HELL YEAH FUCKING RIGHT
