Jail Stories >be me >2 years ago >arrested for weed
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Jail Stories
>be me
>2 years ago
>arrested for weed charge in shitty state
>can't make bail
>every night afters a few mins lights out I yell REEEED ROBIN
>a couple people would reply YUMMMMM
>after a week the whole dorm replies YUMMMM
>guard starts getting butthurt because it's against his faggot jail rules
>one night he snaps
>rages for the culprit to get out of their bunk
>no one does or says anything
>I give myself up
>he makes me do another chore in the morning
>everybody likes me and gives me free shit out of their commissary after that
>>697246800
Checked, I kekked
What were you in for /b/ro?
>>697247806
this niggger cant read
>>697248152
don't be mean
>caught a sale
>withdrawing from like 20 xanax/day in a cell (moved to dorms after 3 days)
>sick as fuk. throwing up, shaking, dying
>COs call me for medical
>they see i cant move, say if i dont get my ass up it will count as a refusal
>told me to get fucked and enjoy dying
>threw up on guard in the bubble on purpose
>Got an elevator ride after that.
>>697248152
Whoops, interestingly enough, alcohol is somewhat responsible for my mistake
Bump for interesting thread
Bump for interest
>>697248716
what do you mean, and elevator ride?
>be me, 17
>get sentenced to 7 days of 'shock time'
>get old black dude with a criminal record longer than my arm
>1st day in, he gives me some chips and juice
>thanks friendo.jpg
>we chat throughout the week
>my last day FINALLY arrives
>he knows that i am getting released in a few hours and asks for my lunch
>i say no, and that im hungry
>he stands up and stares me down
>fine, whatever faggot, i'm getting out in a few hours
>right before im getting ready to leave, he gives me a phone number with something to ask/say to his mother
>i assure him that i will relay the message
>it's time to get out
>get to the door of my block
>i look back and rub my hands together and flip him the bird
>fuck that guy
>>697249431
that didn't happen you pussy
i should also mention that i had written the number down on the palm of my hand..
>>697249596
you don't have to believe me, that's fine.
>>697249431
fuck off faggot
>>697249277
The guard put 6" up his ass
>>697249705
Fuckin white trash you're worse than niggers
>>697249431
Guess what you little faggot im finally out of jail. I didnt forget what you look like with your skinny frame and hairless face. Im coming for you bitch. Its turbo time.
>>697249899
dubs speaks truth
>>697249431
sounds like he was trying to relay a coded message of some kind
if you make the call from outside prison cops can't prove shit
>>697249431
wow arnt you a cool guy. Hope you get fucked in the ass you little fag.
>>697249981
>>697246800
that's a tiny image
>>697248278
summerfag alert
>>697249431
He should've raped you.
>Be OP
>Intentionally kill someone so he goes to jail and get ass raped multiple times, enjoy it.
>Go to /b/ and post about it.
follow the law or you go to jail. im black so if i glance or be in the proximity of a cop a hail of bullets will be upon me so i dont leave the house
also my cousin got pulled over because he was driving a nice car lol didnt you know black people arent allowed to have nice things
>>697250299
dubs speak truth
>>697246800
>be me, 21
>working at shitty CVS Pharmacy
>get talked into siphoning pills out the back door
> CVS finds out and assumes its me because I'm new, say they have all this evidence, and have me arrested
>first time ever in jail in CA, have no idea what to expect
cont?
>>697250299
i tried man. he wouldn't accept any of my advances.
>>697250471
Why not
>>697250471
keep going
>>697250471
>taken to pod where all the guys are going to state prison, Dep's assumed I would be joining them shortly
>put in a cell all by myself because i'm the only white guy
> few hours later all the doors open and everyone goes out into the day room, idk what the fuck to do so i just stand off to the side
>two mexicans and a black dude who was built like a brick shithouse come walking up to me
not pre-typed... bare with me
>>697248716
Benzo wd is no joke.
Dope may make u feel like u gonna die but u wont
Benzo u can get seizures and actually die
>>697250299
>>697250083
>>697249981
>>697249899
>>697249596
"To Catch a Samefag"
>>697250029
Sometimes the phone call shit is a pain in the ass. Nigs aint good with money so it's hard to get money on dude's books for phone cards. And collect calls won't go through to her prepaid cell.
>>697250790
From my experience, mexicans in and out of jail are bros. Atleast to me they are
>>697250385
Same thing happened to my friend when he was driving his bmw through an affluent neighborhood. The cop got even more pissed off when he found out he lived there.
>>697251007
Stop trying nobody gives a shit about how blacks are stereotyped kys
>>697250855
nope. story way just gay. you are a faggot
>Be teen
>Get thrown in the cells overnight for underage drinking
>Shuffle into the cell block wearing board shorts, a tank top, and Pink Floyd sandals
>Cheeky bants from the inmates
>Guy with a domestic terrorism charge comes and shoots the shit with me
>Go to bed and wake up to really good eggs
>Seriously how did this jail cook such perfect eggs?
>Catch some more cheeky bants from the inmates and get told not to be stupid and come back from them
Was ight.
>>697250790
> mexicans and the black dude, start asking me what i'm in for, and if i've ever been to jail before
>tell them no, they explain how everything is segregated and how things work
>find out that because my charges are serious enough i get a certain amount of respect
>end up becoming the leader of the peckerwood faction in a San Diego County jail facility
>doesn't mean fuck all... i'm the only white guy in there...
>a few days later two other white guys come in with simple possession charges
>mine are better so I'm still in charge, fuck this logic, but it nets me two of everything, and my anal virginity so whatever
>>697246800
>be me
>5 months into an 18 month sentence for some stupid shit
>basically tried to steal a bunch of shit from my old workplace. had been manipulating the inventory for like 6 months and finally we got audited and my dumbass partner didn't cover his/our tracks good enough
>anyway
>meet my new cell mate. twitchy yet very bright young kid
>dude got convicted for sexual assault and statutory rape and is in jail for a long time
>every night he always talks about this girl and how she was asking for it
>whateverdude.jpeg
>fast forward a few weeks
>despite my warning him, he proceeds to accept "gifts" from other inmates and borrows shit from them like whiskey, weed, etc.
>begins getting in over his head and I'm constantly having to hear about him
>he's gonna get his ass beat
>one day he comes up to me and is like "anon, I need help or they're gonna fucking jump me any day now..."
>sigh
>well what do you need?
>dude looks at me straight in the eyes and says "well, I'm gonna need about tree-fitty".
>well, it was about that time that I noticed this "cellmate" of mine was actually about 12 stories tall and a huge ugly crustacean from the paleozoic era
>I'm fucking pissed off. Goddamned loch ness monster keeps breaking into the prison and trying to hit me up for chump change
>like I don't have other problems to deal with
>I said "DAMN IT NO, NOW YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE"
Ok seriously why do almost half the comments in this thread come from the same IP?
>>697251357
This my fav
>>697251288
> these guys are barely 18, and think they can do whatever the fuck they want
>doesn't work like that
> actually have to have meetings with the leaders i met on day one, about trivial shit like who sat at what table, and why one of my guys used the black phone
>this shit went on for two weeks before I took the plea of a lifetime
> MFW jail wasn't that bad for me...
there's a bunch of random shit that happened with the younger white guys breaking every "rule" but it would take forever to type out, so ask if interested
>>697251288
Anal virginity
>had to suck dicks
>>697250937
i honestly never had a problem with anyone, thought it was going to be much worse than it was, as long as you adhered to the pre established "convict rules" everything seemed low key
>>697251902
nope, it's not what tv (or in your case, your favorite gay porn) make it out to be, most people just want to do their time
>>697251455
You can't see IPs fag
>>697251765
i am very interested, please elaborate
>>697251928
Well, yea. Its the same outside of prison too, in gang neighborhoods. Show respect, dont piss on someones shoes, and if you do, apologize.
People who havent been inside, need to se msnbc's lockup series. More truth than anywhere else
>>697251455
wut
>beat up two people badly, get fucked over
>in jail
>befriend a mexican dude
>he has years to go, i'm not locked up for long
>one night he tells me about his fetish
>he fucks plants
>shakes his hand as if he was jerking off
>makes creepy faces
>tells me to fuck a cactus
>can't sleep that night
>think about plants being alive and shit
>dude they might experience pleasure as well
>what the fuck?
>for a brief moment i want to kill myself
>time passes
>finally, sweet release
>come home
>realize i havent jerked it in LITERAL ages
>start cleaning dust off things
>still thinking about plants
>days pass, i develop dendrophilia
>make a hole in a tree in my backyard
>feel like killing myself again
>fuck the tree late at night, scared of being noticed, cut my dick a bit
>cum so hard it fucking explodes, there's cum all over the hole and all over me as well
>develop even worser dendrophilia
>now jerking off to sexualized drawn plants
>pic related
>still havent tried fucking a cactus, only fuck trees
>>697252074
Maybe I'd believe you if you weren't so aggressively defensive.
Did they make you swallow?
>>697252179
>Shh, he thinks 4chinz is a secret hacker club
>>697252263
ironically, i got into that show after i got into trouble
>>697252456
Its a good goddamn show. Same for gangland, although gangland is more "sizzle" television
>>697252383
>aggressively defensive
that's your idea of aggressive? Jesus anon... I'd hate to see your mom take away your GBP, you'd probably piss yourself
>>697249431
Lol why are all those anons butthurt over your story?
>>697250287
don't be mean
>>697252883
fake and gay thats why
>>697252883
Anon*
>>697252365
Have a rosemon
>>697251144
This guy knows what he's talking about. (Check 'em.)
>>697252228
alright...
>first white guy comes into the pod, i run the same game down to him that was told to me day one... he seems to get it
>we go out for day room time, and the first ting the fucker does is walk right through all the tables, and sit at the one the blacks claim
>immediately i hear about it, blacks are furious that they have been "disrespected" like that and want to whip the guys ass
> talk it out with their leader, manage to settle it for a part of the kids commissary
>kid agrees when he found out how close he was to getting his ass kicked
>random shit like that is a big deal
>>697252644
What's gbp?
I just meant you got very jumpy so easily. I didn't mean to offend you.
Seriously was there any sexual threats or intimidation?
>>697252633
yeah, the early episodes of gangland were pretty good, now its just drama, and "listen to my rap," and "look how hard i am"
>>697251765
Please, continue
>>697253100
checked my brother. checked
>>697251357
Thank you
>>697252365
I feel bad for you
>>697247806
Capital murder. I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot his deputy.
>>697253299
Checkd and agreed. Gangland did biker gangs really well, but past season 3 you have these shitty no name gangs and weird shit.
>Back to prison talk
Alot of people really over estimate how bad it is. Its truly people just trying to do their time. A small percentile are the violent assholes who are gunna stab you cause they want to
>>697253355
alright
>second white guys comes into the pod around midnight
>this guy is high as FUCK
>they didn't even bother taking him somewhere like a detox cell to sleep it off
>turns out he had mental issues as well we nicknamed him "the wizard"
>this guys is a trip, we'd be sitting at the tables playing cards and he would walk by the TV and wave his hands and the damn channel would change
>the fucking TV was in a plexiglass box and no one could touch it unless a cop came down and unlocked it to change the channel
>one time he got mad at the food for lunch and went up to the second tier and started ripping his pubes out and sprinkling them around like fucking fairy dust...
>i asked him what in the fuck he was doing, and he looked at me with a mixture of a 1000 yard stare and wild eyes and said "i'm making a spell"
>>697253165
your fuckin GOOD BOY POINTS nigga
>>697253956
Fucking magical. Kekd
>>697252365
thanks anon, learned something new
>>697254166
kekd and checked
>>697252365
>>697254263
holy shittttt
>>697253794
agreed, you're always going to have the assholes who think they have something to prove... those are the one's you need to watch out for
>>697246800
I was actually thrown out of prison for organizing the other inmates. I'm a very well known community organizer, well enough known to have a Wikipedia page about me. When I was arrested the police tried to give me bail conditions which would have red-zoned me from the entire city because I also organized the local copwatch program. I told them to cram their bail up their ass, so they stuck me in prison.
Consider, I have 25 years of experience organizing on the street and they put me in a room with 40 angry, bored, cop-hating criminals with absolutely nothing to do all day but listen to me. Five days after putting me inside and having to deal with a front-page newspaper story on the shitty conditions inside (which I'd gotten using my media contacts) and an organized body of prisoners who had all signed contracts agreeing to riot if the prison tried to separate anyone so they had to deal with them as a group, I got thrown out. They dragged me back into court, told the judge they didn't want me in prison, and released me with no bail conditions. I didn't even have the boilerplate about keeping the peace and abstaining from owning weapons, so I couldn't refuse it.
>>697253165
>what's gbp?
Jesus fucking Christ you guys weren't kidding about these summerfags.
Good boy points my man, you get 'em for cleaning your room and keeping the house clean while I fuck your mom.
>>697253956
>this guys is a trip, we'd be sitting at the tables playing cards and he would walk by the TV and wave his hands and the damn channel would change
I can't believe you didn't try to befriend him. Dude was probably some kind of alien or demon masquerading as a human for the fun of it.
>>697250187
Kek
>>697254412
>>697254623
i had to deal with him on a daily basis, he was white, and therefore my responsibility, i tried to talk to him because you had to stick with your own race, but he never seems to be all there
>>697254623
Drugs. No demons or aliens needed.
>>697254847
Did he ever say anything interesting? Was it all gibberish?
>>697254412
>Enter the Edgelord.
>>697255054
>Drugs allow you to change TV channels with a wave of your hand.
>>697254847
>you had to stick with your own race
how was that enforced?
if you talked to a mexican would the other mexicans tell you to fuck off, or would the white people tell you to fuck off
>>697254555
What? I'm a summerfag because I don't know what GBP means?
It's literally one of the gayest things I've ever heard.
Did your mum used to give you good boy points?
I got pocket money for cleaning or washing up. Did your good boy Points come in the form of money?
>go to kiddie jail for "trespassing"
>first few days aren't so bad, I just mind my own business and try not to get noticed
>highschool 2.0
>the only time people talked to me was when they randomly vented at lunch which they did ALOT
>never really listened, just concentrated on making time pass faster
>one day this little tibeten guy gets all pissed off at me for no reason
>pushes my fat and berates me, too autistic to respond
>he starts slapping me
>cry think about it later in my bed
>next day toothbrush is missing
>it was him
Should I cont? This story doesn't even go anywhere.
>>697255301
oh shit nigger what are you doing
>>697255301
You're so fucking autistic anon, this is beyond reality.
>>697255301
Fucking normies don't belong here, get off
GET OFF!!
REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>697255301
>>697255453
>>697255489
>>697255168
I'm genuinely curious about what you think is "edgy" about being a community organizer.
>>697253643
Was it in self defense?
>>697255318
¡The story goes forward!
Where are you from?
>>697255679
not sure if srs or just doesn't listen to music
>>697254346
haha
>>697255301
I could keep being mean to you summerfag, but you are the future. I pardon you (this time). Educate thyself.
http://www.funnyjunk.com/Gbp+and+tendies/funny-pictures/5437449/
>inb4 not clicking that niggga
>>697255620
Psssh... Nothin personal... Kid.
>>697249277
they bring u to a spot where cameras cant see and beat the shit out of u
>>697253956
>one day the wizard decided he was a CO, there's these panic buttons in each cell that let you talk to main control
>he keeps hitting the damn button and talking what i assume he thought was "cop talk" to them, it sounded like gibberish
>finally they get pissed and come into the pod and stand at his cell door while he talk more shit
> he refuses to come out of the cell to be taken to medical for a psych eval
> a week in, and these cops finally decide he needs a psych eval...
> they're telling him he needs to come out or they're going to come in and get him
>he's now screaming about a magic elixir he's making
> they open the food tray and spray his ass with OC
>oh shit... the wizard just tapped all his mana cards...
he goes apeshit, it's sounds like the cell exploding, they finally send like 8 cops in there to get him and drag him out
>the guys is covered in a mixture of wet single ply toilet paper, deodorant, and whatever else he had in that damn cell
> afterwards it looked like a bomb went off in that cell
>>697255892
It sure is summer
>>697255778
" I shot the sheriff but I swear it was in self defense" Kill yourself, faggot
>>697249431
edgemaster4k here
>>697251765
that's actually interesting story. talk more? like why didn't they just fucking shank you.
what kinda other shit did you have to do.
>>697255249
Magnets bruh.
>>697255892
Ah. So you're just shitposting, then. Carry on, my wayward son.
>>697255299
checked
and yes and no, the leaders of the different races would usually take the greatest offense and have one of their underlings kick your ass
>>697255590
I'm not going to lie.....I'm pretty confused.
I already made one guy rage quit but now there's so many fucking hyenas trying to jump in. I don't want to accidentally rage at them.
>>697255161
mostly gibberish, he seems to live in a fantasy world that he superimposed into the real world
> go to prision for rape
> get raped in prision
> notfuckingfaire.png
> rape another person in prision
> replyoryourmomwilldietonight.png
To drive to do time judges can tell who is a poor fag and fuck them over but I have gotten out of the following charges
>aggravated battery
>unlawful assembly
>minor in possession
>possession of marijuana
>2nd degree murder
>>697246800
>be me 23 at the time
>busted selling cocaine
>bond set to 60k
>fuckit.jpg not calling anyone
>take me in back, cold shower, some powder shit orange suit
>Jail is way over crowded
>Nignog guard tells me to sit on the floor and hand cuffs me to this pipe
>Investigator walking down hallway looks at me and says "you wanna act like a drug dealer then we will treat you like a drug dealer"
>KEK fuck that guy
>They trying to workout a cell, but no success
>Put me in D block
>High Lvl offenders and violent crimes
>Walk in, still nothing open cell doors are closed notice people on mats outside of cells
>I carry mat up to second floor put it down
>nignog about 5 feet away to my right
>I looked at him, he ain't saying nothing
>try to just go to sleep, its cold my feet are off the mat and touching the rail
>almost alseep fucking guard comes by and kicks me
>"Stay on the fucking mat"
>Damn nigga.avi
>Awake now
>Nignog beside me says "hey you wanna make a bet for breakfast"
>FUcking annoyed now - Cold TV loud as fuck... Fucking tim allen from home improvment kicking off in the background on the tv
>I looked at him
>and said "no i just want to go to sleep"
Got out a few days later
>>697256303
fuck you faggot
>>697255620
That was a different guy who responded to you. I am the Anon who called you edgy. You just seem like an edgy, anti-establishment type prick that makes this stupid shit up because your mom never loved you or something. You probably smoke weed.
>>697252263
>he same outside of prison too, in gang neighborhoods.
sometimes yes, sometimes no. In general I found that the mexican gangs are much more chill, but I've also seen them jump people for no reason.
I can't tell when black guys are fucking with me. like with a mexican guy I can usually tell if hes just pushing my buttons a bit, or checking to see if I'll stand up for myself. With black guys I can't tell if I'm about to get fucking beat, or they are "juss playin"...
>>697255778
I just want you to know that i'm the anon that you originally quoted and I got the joke
>doing 6 months on a trespassing charge
>deep south mostly white boys in there
>the guards walk this new kid through the day room
>real deal spear chuckin purple nigger
> the screw walks him to the end of the wing and puts him in the last cell
>some one screams "to the back of the bus with you nigger"
> like two or three months of constantly fucking with the nigger
> one day he wraps a towel around his neck and acts like hes trying to hang himself
>flailing around and grunting and shit
>is motionless for a min.
>opens one eye to see if anyone is watching.
>after about 10 minutes I go press the speaker button on the wall and tell the guy in the tower the kid hunghimself
>they come down and "rescue" him
>when he gets back from the hospital all his shits gone from his cell and he just gets fucked with even more.
>>697256153
no one wanted to be on lock down, and it was assumed that we were all going to prison, so we were expected to act like it, and if the offense is serious enough, one of the shot callers would have no problem telling a nobody to beat your ass, it was county, so razors were checked in and out, and it was harder to get weapons stock, so to speak
>>697252883
HE GAVE HIM CHIPS AND JUICE, ANON!
AND THEN HE WAS MEAN
>>697254412
link your wiki, mate
>implying that its real
>>697256271
if by one guy rage quitting, you mean the person who you originally replied to, i'm still here
>>697256616
I'm almost fifty years old and while I'll cop to being "anti-establishment" (I'm a card-carrying Wobbly and a mutualist anarchist), everything I told you is true. In fact, it's in my Wikipedia article. I'm frequently in the media. Last year I made the cover of every newspaper in the country and had a rather insulting editorial written about me. If I was going to lie, don't you think I'd come up with something a little more spectacular than being a community organizer?
>>697255679
I fought the law and the law won.
>>697256816
huh interesting. our local county is sort of fucked up... interesting video on being sent there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqp0Bo_2644
>>697257162
did you have to break rocks in the hot sun?
>>697255688
>>697255318
>don't know where to get new toothbrush, too afraid to ask
>go over four days without brushing my teeth, they feel fuzzy and hurt
>sitting on toilet for hours because can't poop with all the people walking in and out
>finally give up and try to stand but both legs asleep
>lay back on toilet with legs up for better circulation, turn head to side and see toothbrush jammed in heater
>not mine because the little piece of rubber isn't pulled off and it's badly bent
>rinse it off a few times and let it sit so bacteria dies or something plus mouth tastes like death
>need toothpaste now, dig in trashcan and find two empty tubes
>scrape dry toothpaste off inside of cap and lather in my hand with water until usable
>immediate tooth and gum relief but it tastes kind of spicey for some reason
>going to need more toothpaste
Continued.
>>697250187
lold
>>697257185
I thought MOOT was the community leader?
>>697254412
proof p[lox or is this some fucking Oz episode.
>>697257185
i hear AZ is crazy, at least that sheriff joe guy... mine was in California, so county is already grooming you for prison
>>697257252
this is like the worst choose your own adventure tale ever. you should make a video game.
>>697252344
>>697252344
>>697252344
>>697252344
Help me pls
>>697255966
KEK, wizard dude sounds entertaining
>>697251357
god dammit
>>697257412
yeah I can't believe how fucking violent it is - I mean jail is for innocent people too.
>>697257041
It's 4Chan and I'm just rustling your jimmies mate. I'm going to sleep tonight regardless of whether or not you actually possess an Associate's Degree in Community Organization or you're just making this shit up.
>>697256926
>>697257357
It never fails. Any time I mention anything about my life here, I'm forced to out myself. Pro tip: I've been here a long time, and once upon a time /b/ was not just white, suburban, middle school teenyboppers. Anyway, pic related: it's me. And this is the Wikipedia article about me:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Nellis
>>697254412
Tell me the secrets of organizing.
>>697257577
checked
and he was a trip, I'll never forget that guy... they used to have this TV show called "jail" and I actually saw him on there a few years after I put all that shit behind me, it was crazy, he still looked the same
>>697251357
First time I've ever laughed at /b/
Even if you never been to jail and or prison, you are already in jail or prison. Every day you wake up you are in prison. A slave to society, bills, debt, police, laws, choices.
Wrong weigh Right away
>>697254412
I also want to know the secrets of organizing. Are you white or black? Do you have a cat?
>>697246800
Cringe*
>be 21, get set up on date, decent 7/10
>girl seems kind of retarded, ask friend,
notretardedbutkindofweird.jpg
>date goes pretty good, take her home, go inside
>ask if I want something to drink, decline, gotta go, asks if I'm down to fuck
>against better judgement lay dick to her
mayberetardedbutfuckslikepornstar.mp4
>couple days go by, get knock on door, cops ask me to go down to station, ask why
getyourfuckingassinthecarpunk.jpg
>get questioned, ask for lawyer, go ahead and arrest me for rape/assault/robbery
>you gotta be shitting me right?
>spend few hours in jail, lawyer asks for bail
100K or 10% cash
>nigga, I got like 200 in my mattress but know a dude that owes me 50
>spend weeks in jail, lawyer says we got a case, get me the fuck out of here before I convert to Islam
fast forward 6 months.....
>goes to trial, calls girl to stand, prosecutor puts it on thick
>lawyer cross examines, shows discrepancies in story now and one she gave to cops
>girl admits she gave different story to cops, her "caretaker/room mate" did as well
cont.......
>>697255966
>>697257577
>>697258022
wtf? these fuckin dubs, the wizard is with us
>>697257625
true, but the cops don't give two shits, they treat you as if you're already found guilty and sentenced
>>697258010
>>697258232
What do you want to know? If you're genuinely interested in community organizing, my suggestion is to join the IWW. They've been doing this work for more than 100 years, and they have formal workshop classes on organizing which they offer regularly to members.
If you have any specific questions, though, I'd be happy to answer.
>>697256705
anon with black guys its best to assume they arent playing. if they actually are it doesnt matter you just showed dominance.
>>697256705
Around blacks, never relax anon
>>697258388
checkd
>>697246800
Ate 14 grams of mushrooms and the police raided my house 2 hours into the trip.
>>697258292
>Anonymous 07/31/16(Sun)00:27:22 No.69
please
>>697255966
>>697257577
>>697258022
>>697258388
>>697258499
is this turnin into a gets thread
>>697258598
why did they raid, and why would you eat 14 grams of mushrooms?
>>697258760
i call upon the wizard wherever he may be incarcerated... grant me the dubs
>>697257252
>decide to steal some since I'm already in jail
>walk around big room everyone sleeps in and and see two guys talking by their beds
>haven't locked cubby yet, decide to procure toothpaste while he's distracted
>walk by them five or six times trying to figure out how to do it, they start looking after the 3rd or 4th pass
>give up and go back to sit on bed when I notice someone else left their toothpaste sitting on their bed with a stick of deodorant
>walk over and grab it when "Hey!"
>guy grabs me from behind "What the fuck u doin with... Why'd you take the toothpaste?"
>"do you need more? You know you can just ask (someone) if you need more right?"
>say ok and turn and leave but he grabs by arm again "wait give me my toothpaste"
>Tell him I don't have it, he wrenches my fingers open and pulls it out, while two guys from earlier look on
>"dude he's special" "uh, ok." They're all looking at me
>see Tibetan guy in the yard later, decide I hate Tibet
>tell him I like China to make him mad
>he says he never took my toothbrush
I got out the following week
>>697258598
jesus man
>>697258292
yes
>>697258292
Need now
>>697258598
Kek, how'd that go? I've done shrooms before and I know that two hours in I wouldn't be able to even stand up, much less pass as sober.
>>697255301
You get paid in tendies for GBP you cunt.
>>697258859
girlfriend ratted me out over a qp of weed 2 zips of shrooms. they found 2 grams of mushies and an oz of weed. wild trip man
>>697258896
yeah kinda fucked me up lol took me a month to realize I had sobered up. kinda fucked up
>>697258894
Dude you are caught red handed trying to take the fucking tooth paste. Why say you didnt have it, are you special?
>>697255966
l m a o
>>697258993
well they knocked on my door and I answered to 3 gun barrels on my face. 4 of the clowns tackled me cuffed me and then drug me down the stairs and thew me outside my apartment lol tried reading me the search warrent but I kept screaming and telling the cop to fucking shoot me. kinda fucked me up a bit
>>697254412
So how did you organize them?
By tallest to shortest or by age?
>>697259178
fuck
>>697258503
Well, how did you organize all of those inmates? Did you try to befriend them first, or did you use some other method?
>>697259388
yeah dude wild trip though. it was kinda fucked up cause I kept having visions of a jail cell the whole trip. too weird for me haha. I'll still do mushrooms just maybe not in that quantity
>>697257240
Yes. Big rocks. Little rocks. And some nuts.
>>697258292
>lawyer asks her to give the whole story as it happened
>girl says exactly what happened, offered the vag/we fucked/end of story
>lawyer has smirk, feeling like a boss
>prosecutor calls "caretaker", she gives another story
>she heard me rape her, then punch her, and steal like $200 and shit you not, a carton of cigarettes
>lawyer asks why no bruises, says retarded girl didn't want to get police involved
>lawyer digs in, come to find out caretaker is really dyke room mate who's been fleecing girl
>all kinds of drama unfolding, lawyer says we're golden
2 weeks later
>jury of 10 women and 2 men convict me not of rape but of sexual assault, get 5 years
>lawyer says we'll appeal, why even try bruh
>spend year in prison before hearing goes to state court
>takes them less than an hour to make a dissension that I was wrongly jailed due to "hear say" when victim admitted I did nothing
thatsystemactuallyworks.jpg
>get sent back home to jail, get my shit, say good bye to celly
>walk out gate like a boss, jailer makes comment of "beating the system"
fuckyou, i'zafreemannow.jpg
>sue dyke for 2 years of wages, win 25K, bitch never pays, splits town
>not even mad, call retard up, go out on date, eventually become couple
>get married a year later
>been married for 10 years now, have two kids that didn't turn out retarded, can't wait to explain to them how we met
>>697259513
i dont know if i could do anything after that
>>697253956
I want more about this wizard kind sir
>Busted for selling grandma's prednisone to some faggot
>Go to jail
>talk to no one except roommate
>score a job cleaning floors
>no pay, but it keeps me away from the other guys
>Clean a lot
>Get out
>Go on 4chan a few months later
>>697259252
You weren't there, I was nervous and mad because he accused me of stealing plus it wasn't even his toothpaste it was his friends bunk why did he even care so much
>>697259649
you dumb twat
>20
>on fentanyl
>passenger in car with friend driving
>get pulled over, immediately know i'm going to jail
>pop 3 xanax bars i had in wallet
>don't remember night in jail
>next day going to mcdonalds after i get out
>open wallet to get debit card
>mfw a xanax bar falls out, eat it
>mfw booking looked through my wallet and missed a large pill kek
>>697259460
The first thing I did was approach the range boss. Or rather, he approached me. As you can see from my photo, I'm 6' 5" and covered in hair. The first thing he did was send people bearing gifts to check whether I was going to fight him for the range. I politely declined his gifts to let him know I wasn't going to join his crew, but I also let him know I wasn't interested in taking over.
I explained to the range boss who I was and why I was there, and some of the guys vouched for me (I'm well known and well regarded on the street because I organize the copwatch program). I listened to the problems they were having on the range (no soap; shitty smells because of no cleansers, bad air, no reading material, pencils sharpened only once a day, etc.), and then showed him step by step how I could get him all the things he wanted.
After I had the range boss on my side, it was fairly easy to get the other guys to fall in line, since they just follow his lead.
>>697259649
so you married a retard?
>>697259649
Wait what ? The fucking twist. How did she accept to marry you ? Why ?
>>697259717
I did them again and I liked the trip. Ate almost 5 grams of like 5 year old mushies. still quite potent. Hard being the psychedelically sheep in the family
>>697260115
it apears that way
>>697260115
Nah, she's not retarded. Just weird. Like OCD type shit. It takes her 10 minutes to shut and lock the door because she keeps checking it.
But the pussy is top shelf. So I consider it a push.
>>697260182
i understand. dmt ?
>>697259649
>>697257795
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Nellis
"even have a wikipedia"
""never fails""
ok attention whore , no1 curr about ottawa
>>697260147
No twist, after I sued room mate, she was there. She apologized and shit and said it was the room mates idea. Told her how about we go get something to eat and be damn, called it a date.
>>697260033
got bit for a DUI and had a bag of coke in my wallet and a 1/4 of reefer in my car.
MFW I sniffed that shit the morning after I got out
>>697260308
never done dmt. I did acid once. first trip did 4 150 ug blotter tabs. holy fuck I was high for 16 hours. what an intense trip. it was good when it was good but it was really really bad when it was bad. would try again though. not gonna let first time bad experience ruin something beautiful. I really want to do DMT though.
>>697259649
Fuck you
>>697260414
Chick waited years for that. I'm happy it went alright for you though, mate. Good luck
>>697257795
Eyyy. Saw you in the richfag thread the other day lmao
>>697260599
checked
>>697260414
The marriage part I missed on bros post.
Went on date the day of the lawsuit, she called me for a second one couple days later, went out again, eventually just kind of fell into a relationship. She actually asked me to marry her. I thought about it for a day or two and decided why the fuck not. Already living together and shit.
>>697260579
i did i 25 the first time 4 hits i was trippin 24 + hours. DMT is my favorite. just dont last long at all 15-25 min tops
>>697246800
had the same exact thing happen at the jail i was at in AZ, bro would yell red robin and every 1 would say yummmm. was in there for 5 months. was the mental health dorm.
>>697260599
I'll check 'em chief but why fuck you?
>>697260687
And salutations to you bro. Luckily never got ass raped so I feel it was like a year vacation.
>>697246800
>>697249277
>>697249899
>>697250299
>>697250855
>>697251144
>>697251266
>>697251288
>>697251455
>>697252633
>>697252644
>>697253100
>>697253299
>>697253355
>>697254166
>>697254555
>>697255299
>>697255688
>>697255966
>>697256733
>>697257577
>>697258100
>>697258388
>>697258499
>>697259355
>>697259833
>>697259866
>>697260033
>>697260044
>>697260277
>>697260599
i think kek likes prison stories or sumtin, or maybe the wizard is with us its hard to know
STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!
>>697260821
Yeah I got mad in my acid trip and almost stabbed my buddy with a hunting knife. grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him into a wall and I was about to drive my knife into his heart and then I suddenly snapped out of it. fucked up shit. yeah I've done a lot of research into psychadellics but I just have some left to try. Mescaline and DMT are a must. ever done salvia? what was it like?
>>697260751
Yep. Been on /b/ for a decade. It's a sad, pale imitation of its former self. There was a time I could refresh the front page and always find two or three good threads with entertaining yarns by interesting people with intriguing stories to tell. These days I can refresh non-stop for an hour and never find a single thing worth reading. And the few threads worth reading generally get flooded off the bottom in minutes.
>>697259866
Story from cleaning
>scrubbing shower floor
>it would get scummy so they gave me a weird broom and Comet to clean it
>guy walks in
>junkie looking fucker
>Says something to the effect of "let me get a handful of that shit" while snatching at the Comet
>fuckinno.jpg
>tell him to fuck off and wave broom at him
>most interesting thing that happens
>>697256401
Bullshit
>>697261117
nostalgia fag alert
This picture is in no relation to the thread.
But yes, it is what you think it is.
>>697261076
i did salvia twice. fuck that shit. both trips were aweful. the trip feels like vr. nothingg like fungi or acid . you dont exist nothing exist. i trashed my house broke a window all while beliving i was captive on a ship
>be me 17
>4 years ago TO THIS DAY and just about time
>driving high asf with oz of weed and beers (obvi edge teen)
>get pulled over
>cop gets me and finds only half of the weed
>he actually had a dog come smell the car
>tfw dumbass dipshit dog couldnt smell all the other weed
>retard cop finds scale and baggy sacs
>doesnt charge me with intent to sell
>thankugod.jpeg
>take back to station
>dumbass dipshit cop is sweet talked by me
>fucking idiot moron cop didnt know i was high as fuck
>only charged with cpm
>judge sentenced me to 1 yr probation
>probation officer is chill and doesnt drug test me
>released after 4 months on good behavior
>never been to jail but lol
>>697259649
You're a god damn mess OP
>>697261312
It's a dark day when newfags openly shitpost at oldfag elders. Sic transit gloria mundi.
>>697259649
Another word for hearsay is tittle tattle. So you were convicted by a dyke's tittle tattle.
>>697261445
it brought some enlightenment to you though. we are all but captives on a intergallactic ship hurtling through nothingness
>>697261534
>It's a dark day when newfags openly shitpost at oldfag elders.
i like u
>>697261756
its true. very introspective tripp but im alright on that shit . ill chill wiith s0ome mushis
>>697250226
we all know whatthe back of a bald guy's head looks like, but what in fuck is that in the hand??
looks like a chocolate WTC, mid-collapse.
>>697261918
I got almost 10 grams of mushies right now hidden away for when my old lady comes back home
>>697262049
lucky shit. i wish i had 3-4 gs
>>697261675
I like that. But yeah, dyke was sweet on wife and convinced her to go along with story. I asked her why and she said she had no friends except dyke and was scared of dyke room mate beating her up. Even when I was locked up, I had no hard feelings for her. She was a pawn.
>>697261501
A hot one at that bro!
How easy is it to get drugs or alcohol when you're in prison?
>>697260989
i'd like to think the wizard is watching us using his nethermagic
>>697250287
don't be mean
>>697262049
This isn't the "going to jail soon" thread
>>697261076
dude, that sounds like you either ate WAY too much or that was not 100% acid
>>697260967
Because the moral of your story is that you don't learn the moral of your story AND you married the same retard that sent you to jail for a year. You're a moron. And I read your whole story hoping it was going to end in some way that didn't make me furrow my eyebrows disappointedly and end up thinking you're a redneck from Indiana or something.
>>697262189
cheap up here. 30 grams for 80- 100 bones lol
>>697262308
4 150 ug tabs for first trip. no idea about doses just did it
>>697262334
Shut up offbyone kenobi
>>697262341
where you at? jesus
>>697262277
mushies are legal here /b/ro
>>697262495
Canada bro. check out BC. lots of fresh ones out in the valleys. 100% legal too
>>697250287
don't be mean.
>>697260277
Yeah whatever you say there tard fucker.
>>697262608
shit....
>>697262334
Damn bro, off by one.
Anyways, there is no moral to my story. The girl didn't send me away, it was the testimony of a dyke bitch in front of 10 female jurors and 2 cucked male jurors that got me sexual assault instead.
>>697250385
didnt you know black people arent allowed to have nice things.
Well, that's how it is nigger. Typically stolen property needs to be returned.
>>697262746
yeah doug theyll send you to the mooooooooon
>>697257795
It's more of a subarticle on you, and probably autobiographical. There's a big fat [citation needed] after all the shit about you organizing prisoners.
You say in your own wikipedia subarticle that your antics received media attention, but there are no links to any of it.
Your shit is weak, Andy. Glad the panhandling and busking is working out for you though.
>>697262712
Meh, the pussy is still good and I don't have to wipe her ass so I'll take it.
>>697261076
I did similar on St. Patty's Day this year.
>Got fucking trashed on beer and pendleton whiskey
>blackout.jpg
>pulled out pigsticker
>Chased my buddy around his apartment
>Started bitching about GTA Online
>He settled me down
>Played The Stroke by Billy Squier
>Passed out on floor
mfw when buddy tells me he watched me like a hawk all night and didn't sleep for fear of me snapping and slitting his throat in his sleep
>>697257795
Please tell me you have some axe to grind with this guy. You cannot be a 50 year old fedora neckbeard bragging about a paragraph in a larger article in Wikipedia and being an anarchist.
You are the patron grandpa of /b/.
>>697262712
>tard fucker
Not that anon but did you think that was going to be an insult on this site?
>>697254412
Are you fucking kidding me? Master edge lord go back to your video games or provide proof. You would be butt raped and dead in prison in under a week.
>>697263028
geez haha you two still buds though?
>>697262854
You're a moron. I actually fought having an article because it made a convenient target for my political enemies. I managed to get mine deleted, but they redirected it to the article about the organization for which I was spokesperson. Furthermore, a simple Google news search shows I've been in the media spotlight for more than 20 years, hosted two different radio shows, and was on the cover of every newspaper in the country as recently as last year.
Seriously, I understand you kids are jealous, but pulling this same shit every fucking time I post here is just tedious.
>>697250385
>im black so if i glance or be in the proximity of a cop a hail of bullets etc. etc.
The news isn't real life, retard. Might as well be watching a movie. Don't fucking attack cops. If you're under arrest, accept it. Any crook who runs or attacks cops and gets blown away deserved it and I laugh every time.
If my brother or my best fucking friend was under arrest and got shot for attacking a cop, I would be like "wow what a retard" not fucking blame America and the Police like retarded niggers.
Get your head out of your ass, you twittering retard.
>>697261408
I love how the tits are censored
>here's an anime chick with a bike in her vag but boobs are a no-no
>>697261117
my thread here is pretty good ya?
NOT TONIGHT MOM
>>697257041
>trying this hard
>>697263317
you weren't on anything here in edmonton so you can quit over exaggerating boyo.
>>697256328
look at all the people who care :^)
>>697255249
CO looking to get a trouble making spaz beat
>>697257795
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Nellis
>fixed your part.
>>697250385
If your race would stop being the driving force of crime and bad societal/cultural development, you'd be just like us! But you won't, because "we wuz kangs and shiet".
>>697263518
>you weren't on anything here in edmonton so you can quit over exaggerating boyo.
You're a fucking moron.
http://www.edmontonjournal.com/Mike+Vanveen+from+left+Andrew+Nellis+Joseph+Boca+Richard+Dalkeith+members+Street+Labourers+Windsor+shown+organization+newly+opened+union+office+Tecumseh+Road+East+Windsor+Wednesday+2015/11527129/story.html
>>697252179
You can see the amount of IPs that have posted in the thread versus the amount of posts. It's a new feature. Fag.
>>697257795
guiz I linked to a wiki article that's proof! Ironclad solid proof that I'm JD Rockefeller!
>>697262833
>>697253165
Great British Pound, you fucking fourteen year old dumbass white ass basic bitch.
>>697263413
Unfortunately, trying to contribute my own experience to the thread means I get called a liar. When I prove that I wasn't lying, I get called an egomaniac. I swear to christ, every time I think /b/ has reached maximum fucking cancer level, it just gets worse.
>>697253956
I am pretty sure I knew this guy outside of jail. Was this in Kansas/Missouri?
>>697256303
immunity, forgot the "no immunity".
retard.
>>697263741
>"front page of the newspaper"
>sends me a fucking link
"you can quit over-exaggerating, boyo"
Hey my friends bands are listed in the "bar events" part of the back end of the entertainment section should i go get their super exclusive autographs? lel.
>got drunk AF on grapefruit flavored vodka
>smacked up a truck on way to work
>spent night in drunk tank
>got to listen to another OUI scream half the night about being half sober on his motorcycle and made it his own yard before cops got him
about it for me
>>697264196
i know a shih-tzu that made page 2 of the edmonton sun
>>697264196
Right. I'm done. Enjoy your cancerous thread without me. I regret ever wasting my fucking time on you kids. Good job.
>>697255679
Do you lack eyes, you stupid goddamn nigger?
>>697264349
DON'T YOU HAVE A SUPER EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW ON AM RADIO TO GO PREP FOR LOL
>>697261464
If you were darker skinned you're definitely getting charged with distributing and god knows what else
>>697264349
>thinks he's important
>calls people kids
>"You dare have another opinion of me!? I'm LEAVING!!!"
Yo, honestly I'm glad they took you out of prison. With a narcissistic opinion of yourself like that, you'd be fucking beaten to death after a month.
>>697264660
That's probably why they did it, lol.
>>697251288
SD Jail is for pussies that LA cops don't waste their time on. "Leader" of woods for stealing from CVS? Please...
>>697246800
> About 6 years ago. Get sentenced to 1.5 years for bullshit charge.
> Arrive at prison and about 30 minutes in see some big black nigger walks up to me.
> My ass puckers up tight, I ball up fists and prepare to throw down.
> Nigger sees that I'm tense and tells me to chill the fuck out.
> Tells me that prison is segregated as fuck and new inmates have to meet their respective race leaders.
> I'm Chinese and black dude points to some scrawny fuck that looks more like a Mexican than Asian.
> Figure it's not best to stir shit up and head towards the Mexi-Asian who has three other Asians around him.
> Tells us the rules, blah, blah, blah and all that fun shit.
> Finally ends his speech on how protection is limited and can't give it to all of us.
> Says if we want to be covered have to pay our dues.
> Tells us some of the guards can be bribed or friendly towards prisoners. However won't tell us which one.
> Says the first two that can secure two smokes off a guard and bring it to him in an hour is protected for the month.
> The ones that fail or are late will have to deal with shit on their own.
> Starting to shit bricks about 15 to 20 minutes in I see a guard pull out a pack of smokes from his pocket.
> He's surround by two other guards and I know he's not going to give me any smokes.
> Get idea, used to pick pockets as a kid, figure I would try the old "bump and grab" on guard.
> Walk up and succeed to grab smokes but guard is pissed that I bumped into him. Accuses me of assault. Proceeds to beat the shit out of me.
> Everyone watches as guard beats me. Do my best to protect the smokes. 5 minutes in he stops, shithead friends pick me off ground and tell me that they'll let me off with a warning.
> Busted as fuck but still manage to give Mexi-Asian the pack, had about 7 smokes in it.
> Mexi-Asian gives me a smile and tells me I'm covered.
> Hour later guard walks up to me and tells me to follow him.
>>697251288
I seriously lol'd so hard at peckerwood faction and 2 of everything asshole virginity
>get off work and drink 5 beers with copper buddy
>drive home
>decide to stop for snacks at local 24 hour store
>be carrying without a permit
>drop my piece in a parking lot right next to a cop
>put your hands up put your hands up
>gun drawn, 10+ cops on the scene almost instantly
>get taken to jail after they search my car
>cooperate and be polite the entire time
>booked on the concealed weapon charge
>not even put in a cell, watch TV in the lobby of the jail
>be released on $2500 unsecured bail
>this means no money out of pocket
>get my car out of impound
>find my bowl in the trunk, shattered by a cop
>was not charged for this
>go to arraignment a month later
>no lawyer
>speak to judge, apologize for my lack of good judgment
>case is thrown out
>feels good to be white in america
>>697264037
AHAHAHA, I'm screencapping this shit for your neckbeard autistic rage. I bet you have a sword on your wall. You seem like the type to have a cheap sword or axe.
You are name dropping a tiny paragraph of a tiny article and backslapping that your county jail sitin was on par with Atticus Finch. We are making fun of you for being the king of hat tipping.
What's next, a 3min blurb on NPR is NATIONAL RADIO SHOW GUEST SPOT COVERAGE?
>>697264349
Didn't organize this thread worth a shit now did you mister big shit community organizer.
You may now proceed to fuckoff.
>>697261534
So what happens when you go to jail? Say I get a knock on my door and it turns out it's all a big mistake but I spend time in jail. What about my rent? Am I just supposed to call someone to handle it for me? Otherwise I imagine I'd be evicted and all my shit tossed out, and literally lose everything I own
I have a gf and family and shit I could call to handle things, provided I was allowed to consult my phone where their numbers are stored, but how often does that happen? Someone goes to jail, not even prison, but that short period of time is enough to completely fuck them out of a job and home? I've been thinking about this a lot lately
Also what about the long term people where there isn't actually a mistake, but they do go to jail, which leads to prison. If they don't have friends/family to collect their belongings are they just fucked or what?
>>697250287
Dont be mean
>in jail
>green suit, i was suspected of an armed burglary I didnt commit
>but was held for 3 weeks
>niggers everywhere
>as long as you treated them like people, they were 9k dudes
>except for one thing
>no one is allowed to use the open door shitter in the main hall during the day
>2nd week, ate some vegetarian food
>my ass is like hoover dam giving way to Noah's flood
>cant make it upstairs
>let the flood out in the forbidden toilet
>big dude Tyson hears it, smells it, gets angry as fuck
>starts punching shit
>niggers throw their cards at me
>one card makes it in, 8 card and all they do is play crazy 8s
>the guards come in, they push the guards, they get pepper sprayed, full blown riot
>for the next week, i never got out of my bed, not once, because the niggers and everyone else threatened to beat me for starting a riot
>>697254412
I've seen you posting around /b/ and /r9k/ and I'd just like to let you know that you're a faggot.
>>697257795
Yea I've seen u on here b4, stop talking like a big shot and mentioning shit nobodies cares about pertaining to your life and this won't happen
There ur protip
>>697249981
>turbo time
fucking kek
>>697265682
don't be mean
>>697265078
well shit
go on
>>697265078
Continue fucker
>>697255301
Chicken tendies what a fag
>>697265078
>>697265851
>>697265919
plot twist, he's writing this story real time, he's currently following the guard
>>697266196
how did he smuggle in the phone?
he just got there
>>697266196
So what is the guard making him do?
>>697250287
dont be mean
>>697266384
following him 8)
>>697265824
It's true. Deal with it, faggot.
>>697266384
boipussy
>>697266493
Well fuck how big is this jail. Been 12+ minutes
>>697266690
better call a community organizer I hear they are some hidden tiny paragraph badass motherfuckers
>>697266819
Well I mean, when you make up a story, it doesn't come as quick as memory 8)
>>697265078
> Leads me to Prison Infirmary and tells me to lay down on the bed and wait for prison doc.
> Doc arrives tells me that I have a concussion and that I have to stay in the infirmary for two weeks.
> Best two weeks in prison. Soft bed, food is fresh, watch TV, and doc every now and then brings porn mags or lets me use his laptop.
> Two weeks doc tells me he found an infection in my throat and again stay in the infirmary. Same thing
> This goes on for about three months. Doc keeps changing the reason why I have to stay and I'm having a good time.
> When I'm released from the infirmary told that the Mexi-Asian wants to talk to me
> Meet up with him. Tells me that I essentially stole smokes from one of the most sadistic guards in prison. Lucky that I didn't end up dead or crippled from the beating.
> Tells me that he arranged my stay in the infirmary for the smokes I gave him and the beating I took. Said I earned it.
> Mexi-Asian makes me a part of the prison smuggling team. Worked with a fat nigger, a smelly Puerto Rican, and some twiggy german dude.
> No one messed with me since I was part of the chain that smuggled in drugs, porn, phones, and other shit prisoners wanted.
> Spent the rest of my sentence untouched.
>>697265078
>pick pocket
Very likely. Continue writing fiction.
>>697259925
because it was his friend's shit you bell end
>>697267022
sexy story
would read again
>>697255301
Yes you are a summerfag. Clearly. GBP was a meme as big as fucking pepe. Literally impossible for you to have any exposure to chans and not know what GBP is.
Surely at some point I was as retarded as you fucking children are. But I sure dont remember it.
>>697267044
ya, pick pocketing a guard too. With mace and cuffs and keys on that belt.
another gay story. Probably is a chinese person with that shitty story telling.
>>697266523
that's kinda mean
>>697267350
You touch muh tendies nigga???
>>697263704
Ahaha nice
>>697263317
Hi people reading this in future cringe threads
>>697251357
