the last text message you received is now what's engraved on your tombstone
how fucked are you
"I have a lions mane" I think I'll be fine
I am as well. Sweet dreams sweetheart.
>I'm aight with it.
The bomb has been planted
"I'll put it in my ass"
Heartfelt sentiment
"Lol, just clarifying"
Could be worse
>>696994064
"see you tomorrow" ...dude...
>>696994567
that's brutal
"I don't really know tbh" same
"Agreed... especially since eventually it will be a mandatory change just like all windows upgrades"
will that even fit in an aesthetically pleasing way
>>696994064
On my way home
>Oh, ok
>>696994786
actually kinda poetic
>>696994730
Anything can be aesthetically pleasing with LaTeX.
at night
>"it's ok used to it lol"
Kek?
>i'll see you soon
kek
>>696994064
I will most likely be back before Christmas.
Not too bad
"meh alright then"
"Thanks Sweetie"
Best I could possibly hope for
Yo you were offline for like a week what the fuck happened bruh?
>Kinda ironic
"Did you know progressive put your money back"
Wat?
"What the world needed most"
We were sarcastically talking about BvS extended cut. Pretty good tombstone though
sweet dreams baby love you xx
>>696995643
You were close
"bring a hat".
Neat.
"imma get some weed today"
Indeed I will.
"Jo"
id be okay with that
the egg in a pan emoticon
my name is egbert so yeah
Mijo I bought del taco it's in the fridge
I'm dead, so I'm maximum fucked already.
"Move your fat ass"
fuck me
"It's okay. I have candy bars now. They will help"
>>696994064
>Kkk
This.. I'm hispanic btw so I am fucked big time.
>>696994786
Bruh
>>696994064
" "
>>696994064
"the usb's in my bag"
'Cockwomble to bawbag actual
Roger
Out'
This could confuse things.
>>DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE
DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE
DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEDONE DONE DONE
its perfect lol
>>696995831
I want that quote on my tombstone too.
>>696995911
kek
Hi ANON,
We have finalised your tax return. We will deposit your refund within three business days into the bank account you nominated on your tax return.
Australian Taxation Office
"What's going to happen if I don't? AM I GONNA DIE?"
Well fuck.
>>696995643
Sssshh it seket.
(also seket catto thret)
Welp OPs pic got me to play Crypt of the necromancer again. Time to blow another 40 hrs
"enjoy your nightmares"
Lol
"Did you just fat?" Not as poetic as some other replies...
"I'll leave the light on for you."
I'm good.
>>696995999
Lol me too bro, i was just gonna open it after months of not playing, also checked.
It's a fucking ad from Vodafone about the 29 dollar prepay deal. I ain't writing that shit out in full.
I love you too night night xxxxx
>>696995982
last words
Ever wanted to remove jews with style? Look no futher then www.Pimpmyreich.com.au for pimped out gas chambers
I'm okay with this
"your mother was a dumb whore with a fat ass, did you know that?"
"I'll try"
>>696996018
that's pretty grim
>>696994064
"Idemo do getfea vecaras"; "We're going to the fag tonight"
>I'm doomed
"I am with the car dickhead xD"
>>696995963
"Ok"
"They said it's terminal."
"I can hear the raindrops falling"
Actually pretty OK with that one
Did the dog get fed
>>696996305
that's beautiful man
>>696996305
this has almost become a feels thread
>>696996360
I've legitimately got cancer. My brother hit me up for the first time in 5 years just to ask what the diagnosis was.
In 6 months I'll be shitposting as a ghost.
>>696994064
No text on my last message, just this pic...
>>696994064
>just friends
omfg
>>696996305
>No one will ever say that to me
>>696996467
Jesus, I'm sorry.
Hope you're not too distraught over it, anon.
>>696994064
Its the cancerous crying emoji with the hand niggers use next to it
"4"
Well, I guess it'd be cryptic
"Congratulations"
> I get it. It comes with age.
Yea mine is fitting.
>>696996574
Gee, thanks for your sympathies, retard.
Mines a pic but I'm ok with it
>>696996574
Nope. People are born and people die.
Imma shitpost and do what I love until I croak.
Fuck that chemo racket.
>>696994064
"Hahaha typical you, Anon :)"
>>696994064
Why don't you call me anymore?
>>696996739
implying you can do anything else
I don't care.
>guess i went for an hero
>>696995831
Best quote/10
>>696996843
Well, they could ask for my paypal and lend me a few bucks, but no, it's not like I have cancer or anything. Oh wait, I do, dickhead.
>>696996467
No limits now
Go fucking crazy, do illegal shit. You'll be dead by the time they could even try to convict you.
God fucking damnit it's a cancerous :p emoji
>>696997000
Yo dude, heard you had cancer.
Not gonna send you money, but you don't need your money anyways when you're dead.
So how about you send some my way, that way you can at leas redeem yourself a little bit before everyone forgets you.
>>696996512
I thought the same thing until she said it. Get yourself out there and find someone that loves you anon.
>>696994064
All the other dogs are sitting and ours is stress shitting everywhere.
You are still getting mail here. Please take care of the asap because iwill start throwing it out. I have asked you numerous times to do this.
>>696996382
I'm glad I could find someone who loves me like this. Depression is not an easy thing and without her help I'd be in a state 10x as worse as I'm in now. I get better every day and I give all credit to her. She's a legend.
>>696996365
This anon never got his answer
>>696997183
I have cancer so you have to be nice
*dabs*
>>696997000
>is dying
>wants people to "lend" him money
>is literally cancer
"i wish i could do more"
>>696997013
Things I've crossed off my bucket list in 72 hours.
>Use the excuse of having cancer to proposition a girl for sex
>Piss in the fryer at a McDonalds
>Run through Wal-Mart in nothing but a set of pink panties yelling "BLACK LIVES MATTER"
>Took a shit on my bosses desk
>Grope a girl in front of her family
>Sell middle school kids oregano under the guise of weed
>Whipped my dick out during church in front of everyone
>Bitch slapped a Muslim with bacon
>Busted a nut in a cops coffee
I've never felt more alive until I knew I was going to die.
"And I hope you have a good day"
Not bad.
>>696997403
Yeah I am, I just told you I had cancer. Are you going to donate to my cause or not?
I got egged. like a whole carton of eggs too!
>>696997231
Thanks anon, made me feel a little bit better at least.
sigh
>>696994064
"Sup Bro? I finally got a new phone! Did you see I moved back down to Ohio?"
>>696994064
"2 for 1 pizza this week only!"
I haven't ordered or bought pizza for about 4 months.
>>696994064
no one texts me though
>>696997605
she isn't worth the effort anyways if she relies on her the word of her friends to determine who she fucking dates
"okay hurry up"
my life in a nutshell :(
>>696997442
Oh man you make having terminal cancer a fucking adventure. Lol'd, keep it up.
>>696997605
Call her a nigger faggot and tell her to go get MLK'd
"It is fine if we are together, but you just didn't say anything to my friends yesterday."
>welp
>>696994064
>internet needs to be turned back on
story of my god damn life, only fitting i would have it on my tombstone.
>>696997605
Call her a nigger faggot and tell her to go get MLK'd.
"germans are weird"
>>696997773
Up for today is.
>Feed ducks at the pond with alkaseltzer filled bread
>Grab a random young girl and start running with her just to see how far I can get
>Try on panties at the Victorias Secret asking them how they look on me
>Somehow get my junk on a big screen television in public
>Receive a blumpkin
>Smoke meth
>Fuck a dog in the ass
Being terminal is awesome in a way. I can get away with a lot of shit.
"How many cp does your highest pokemon have?" i'd die of laughter
" ): "
>>696998106
U cant cuz ur already dedek
"rekt"
"My sister thinks I fapped into her panties. Know anything about that?"
> Shits cash
>Ttyl
This is ok
>>696994064
"Yo fag check this shit out is funny as f mang https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByYA6Lh5hv8"
I hate everything
>>696994064
>xD
No more
post this same question on r9k and this is the only answer you'd get >>696997659
Security code for Humble Bundle: 6713398
"Want tacos?"
>>696998341
I would want them to engrave the link too, so that people may look it up and know exactly what kind of person you are
>>696997442
hahahahaha, gtfo
As if anyone would believe any of this shit
>>696998450
The eulogy would be the fucking video as well
"Ok I can get it when you get back" pretty good last words tbhfam
"A sideways eight?) my gf being a cunt
>>696994064
I had no idea I liked their music
Meh, sure
>>696998541
a glimpse into the life of anon
'night night'
kek
Grass e's and mdma for sale blue tesslas the yokes are there proper 1's take them in halfs the mdma is bangin grass is amnesia haze let me know. spread the word
Lol mass text from my dealer
>>696998670
Then fuck off asshole, won't even donate a few bucks to a guy with cancer?
Bitteschööööön!
Straight Talk MSG: Let us upgrade you! Get Walmart's offer on select iPhones b4 it's too late, only at Walmart.com, while supplies last. Reply STOP to End msgs.
"Ooooo"
Man I want a fucking burrito
"fucking helll"
ez
"Please put some TP in the downstairs bathroom. Thanks!"
>>696994064
Your remaining bank balance is $0
>>696999000
nice trips
"Nice"
"you're good you, also good morning" im so happy people actually care about me.
>>696999074
life
"We usually just leave the bowl full, he eats as he pleases"
Rofl
free nudes Yes it is her
https://youtu.be/hcwUbBYehkM
"O2: Don't forget. You need a balance of at least £10 on 02 Aug to get your £10 Big Bundle next month. Top up now by calling 4444 free from your mobile."
????
"Hey Susan. Can we change that appointment to Thursday at 10? Something came up. Cheers."
:o
I'll text you in a few hours honey. I love you
No problem.
"Check em!"
These are old
"What are you doing aren't you coming???"
"I just drove in it lol"
>>696994064
"Good night, son"
Not bad, I guess.
Fucking incompetent doctors
>>696994064
"Omg that is great"
"Maybe you should wake up already"
Well..
>>696995786
MIJO!
"We fight tomorrow, it's gonna be settled then."
"wanna try anal bitch"
Anon, we have been trying to contact you. Please call back at your earliest convenience.
Well... not too horrible.
>>696994064
"American Wholesale Grocery"
:/
>>696994064
Hay mate. Ok no worries. Hope u enjoyed your leave welcome back
Ummm....?
"So Anon, how are you today?"
I'm okay with this.
>>696996617
tru!
>>696994064
"Fucking pigs are stupid" I'm ok with this.
>Hell no. Mcdonalds tastes like shit
At least people will know my preferences on fast food.
"ye"
Verizon FamilyBase Msg: You have reached your monthly data limit for this cycle. Data use may no longer be allowed.
I don't get texts unless you count skype messages. If so:
>they grow up so fast
>>696994064
>Lel you said it on the chat and no one replied because no one gave a shit
I fucking hate my friends.
Happy birthday
;)
>>696998173
Perfect.
>Also there is some night bags need to be picked up from ***** chemist after 4
Reminder to pick up incontinence supplies. Fml.
sharpie in the pooper
"YEAH!!"
I can live...um...die with that :-)
"Ok"
That could go many ways and I'm a ok with all of them
>>696994064
"Cheers fam"
"get fucked you autistic nigger you never knew how to play this game" well yeah i mean that's fine
"I wanna fuck jessie's girl tho."
shit
"Sweet dreams"
>>697003506
I bet 500 in the not real catagory
"Do you exist"
"We're getting super wavy soon then"
"Yayy!!!!"
"They can keep the change"
Hey, don't mind me, I'm just texting you so you're the last person I texted. Hahahah.
>>696994064
"I just don't get it."
"Have funn"
>>696994064
"My boobs are small ._. " kek
"i love you"
"We should make some laws to prevent things like this"
:(
>>696994064
Translated to english it would be
"Hello, you used all your MB moblile internet with a maximal speed. You can activate a additional package at www.nameofoperator.com"
Meh
>>696995911
>>696994064
"It was just perfect being in your arms again" yep, I'm happy with that.
>>696994064
ur cock was soo good last night I can still taste ur cum
"Let's blame it on my excessive amount of work"
Excuses, even in death
Thank you
Works for me
>[omitting no.] Chelmsford st wentworthville
"K peace"
>>696994064
are you awake?
lol.
>>696994064
"fuck"
>>696994064
"Fucking hell"
lol
>>696994064
>we hope you're enjoying your service
"Ok, thanks" kek
"It was lit you should have came"
Works for me
>>696994064
No, but that's your call. Ttyl bud.
>>696998841
you make me kek, mister cancer anon
>*wiggles fingers* Ooh, don't mind if I do.
(Running joke the g/f and I have about fat people and doughnuts)
"Get on Skype, bitch."
"It's fine"
This is ok with me
"For fucking real!!!"
Could be worse.
"I really hate muslims" im ok with this
>>696994064
K
Cheap.
>"Are you with Bill?"
The fuck is that supposed to mean?
>>696994064
"I need ma keys!"
Could've been worse.
Hahah lol diabetes is good XD
>meh, ill be going first, find me when you get here
Context: We were talking about going on a trip/looking for a set of documents that went missing
it wasnt as exciting as it sounds, unfortunately
>>696994064
What kind of beer did your roommate want?
At least its cryptic
Welcome to Kansas City. Your driver EDWARD will meet you at your gate.
>>696994064
"Oh sorry i cant hang out in the morning cause i have like family stuff but we can still hang out tommorow night"
This bitch is going to kill me
"how's the weed bro"
Seems okay.
>>696994064
"I'm home already"
Well that is one boring engraving.
>>697013910
Nah that's deep as fuck
"Nahh cunt"
"anyone wanna trade cp"
>>696994064
"I'm looking for a good time."
"k"
Hey u left ;-;
"Right click > Refresh ".
Guess people's faces
Register your Tinder app with token: 879467
"Dad is picking me up"
I think I stepped in dog shit
"See you in hell"
Shit I forgot to wake you up.
Eh
Kek someone sent me this right before I got in here
" 'Did you steal my lighter? I should throw you off this balcony right now' "
I was quoting a friend last night lol.
>i'm not sorry
"K"
Simple, elegant.
I like this, very much how I feel about dying.
Just whatever
"that's what all addicts say, but whatever. See ya bro"
I mean it could be worse
"you are welcome david "
Yeah so
Your Two-Factor Verification Code is: 344774
Could have been worse.
>>696994064
"On my way"
Truly inspirational.
"peace"
irony
Domino's Waterlooville Feed 4 for £5.50 Each 2 Medium pizzas, Garlic bread, Wedges & drink £21.99 Tel 02392230000 T&Cs Apply OptOut STOP To 07507319842
dropped a bar of soap down the toilet, will it be ok?
>>696994064
I haven received a text in years.
>>696994064
"Go put a dick in your ass" Ill be okay with that
>>696996512
I've said it to a guy and he just kinda giggled :(
"Kkk" RIP
>>696994064
It's literally just my name, so I'm good
Hmm
>>696994064
if i manage, i'll come earlier
"Eh seems about the same"
Well, fuck, I won't be missed.
>>696994064
>Yep.
Could be worse I guess.
>>697015387
Sounds like a fitting goodbye
>>696997605
Send her this
>>696997692
In your own words, tell her shes the pathetic one. And that at least you are brave enough to like her and dont let your friends talk shit about her.
>>696994064
"Ok"
Well, it'd be interesting. Carve a guy shrugging like it's no big deal next to it.
Potgless in seatlle amirite?
"You fucked my ears, anon."
>>696994064
I told you so
http://www.strawpoll.me/10857452
"he went to sleep on sunday and didn't wake up anymore"
we litterally texted about someone that passed
"It's so cringy"
:(
"Love you." The fates have aligned!
Rylie is a nigger
>>696994064
Since I've never been able to tell it to your face, I've registered a message. You can listen to it at obviouslynotshady.website
"yay"
Well i think that would be the most likely response to my death anyway.
"You didn't miss anything." Mmmmm...
'Sext me here'
I guess if someone really wanted to dig me up to have some fun they can, kind of heartwarming now that i think about it. <3
"anon your retarded" -brother
> Give me a text if you wanna go for a smoke
Seems fitting
>>696994064
"Lets make more ISIS memes tomorrow"
I'm ok with this lel
Fuckin awsome all I need is a msg from British Gas stating I'm in debt on my head stone
Fuckin Jews
>>696994064
"LMAO"
"And also don't deny it and say "that isn't flirting" bc inside jokes or whatever and her being flirty is just plain and simple black and white. Not even a question about it"
Get 10% off all online orders @ www.dominicsderby.com Also Buy one Pizza and get one Half price. OTHER AMAZING DEALS AVAILABLE Order Now call us @ 01332332555
>fuck you Dominics
"Yeah sorry"
could be worse
"Lmao just sleep inside"
Mfw I only died internally
>>697018066
My girlfriend bitching me out about a convo on twitter, dubs don't lie.
>>696994567
Thats deep
"Dude wtf were you doing at a gay bar last night... o_o"
My dad asking if I wanted a chicken korma or chicken tikka.
ok
>>697018323
Orlando.jpg
"Are you awake?"
that work's
"Yes. Thank you"
Mfw dead kekekek
>>696994064
>Did someone say weed?
"lol fucking such a fagg"
"AHAHAHAHAHA"
What am I, the joker?
Unpaid phone bill warning. Will be good for reminding other people maybe
>>696994064
"That shit broken"
"K" lol, sounds good to me
>Get my zipper unzipper?
I like it
>>696999977
oh, fuck...
