ITT: we are all working in the twin towers on 9/11/01.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: we are all working in the twin towers on 9/11/01.
John, you have a call on extension 7.
jet fuel can't melt steel beams
Hey faggots, anyone else find it weird that the owner of these buildings filed an insurance claim last week? I don't think there's anything wrong with the property.
Oh shit my alarm clock went off late, hope I can get to the tower by 9am
>>695897785
Fucking hate my job, wish someone would just blow this fucking building up so I wouldn't have to come here anymore.
Hey jim check out this meme entitled "fitnessgram pacer test goes to the zoo"
>>695898055
Kek
>>695897785
I'm heading to Starbucks to get coffee anybody want anything ?
>>695898055
Yeah and all the jews ran out, what's up with that?
>>695898180
oy vey
>>695898136
Hey can you get me a cinnamon roll while you're at it, sorry if you have to wait in line a bit
Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the Windows on the World Cafe what will we be having for breakfast today?
>>695898136
I'll have a sausage breakfast sandwich nigga
>>695898136
Mind if I go with you, I need a smoke anyways
Jesus Bill you're so obscene. Muslims are a peaceful and loving people.
>>695898287
Ill have 2 eggs over easy with some toast and a coffee
There's not enough lifeboats for everyone on board, but that's okay because we're unsinkable.
aaand done! Finally finished cleaning every single window on the two towers!
>>695898287
Ill have some waffels with hash browns and coffee
>>695897785
Im getting retired tomorrow :)
Finally got that promotion niggas! I'm buying the bar tonight!!
>>695897785
See ya, gotta make a quick trip to the back office in Jersey City. brb
>>695897785
Hey Ryan, I can't be fucked with this shit today, I'm going home, tell Jeff you saw me throwing up, ta lad, I owe you one.
Hey guys
Did you watch that documentary about jet fuel and steel beams?
Like that will ever happen, right?
FUCK I FORGOT MY REPORT AT HOME THE BOSS IS GONNA FUCK ME OVER
Anyone know why muhamad didn't come today?
Bye guys, I'm being transfered two floors up.
Thanks Mr. Jennings, my wife has been hassling about this promotion for years, I guess I've finally done something right.
man I'm sure glad I got the corner office on floor 94! You guys are pretty jealous, I know.
I wish we could do something about that saddam guy
>>695897785
So, are you going to vote for that retard Donald Trump when he runs for President 15 years from now OP?
did any one hear that noise?
hey guise, come look at this, theres a plane flying low towards our window. what an idiot
That plane sure is flying low to the ground.
>>695898962
But why? It's not like muslims are terrorists or anything
>>695897785
am i the only one that noticed that all the CEO reserved spaces were empty this morning? weird.
get back to work you slackers! You want to have this big beautiful office on the 105th floor like me? Work for it slackers!
It's been four months but I finally watched that new DreamWorks movie, Shrek. I mean, what a riot, right guys?
Hey Tom, check out the weather outside. Bet you haven't seen something like that in a while, eh?
Gee, I really love my wife and kids. I wish I'd taken the day off with them so I could go to the beach like they wanted. It's alright, we'll just all go next week! ^^
>>695898992
Look, faggot you're going to get fired if you keep that shit up. Get back to work.
This is a pretty nice day so far; all the jews stayed home from work at the same time for some reason.
>mfw when people before 2001 didn't know mudslimes were terrorist
What do you mean larry? A nigger will never be elected and muslims are not violent.
>>695899114
And there must be a Jewish holiday today. Half the building's out.
Knock knock
Open wide here comes the airplane!
holy shit guys look out side it's nibiru!
>>695898055
I it's probably nothing. Speaking of which, isn't he meant to be in a meeting on the top floor restraint?
What's that? He has an emergency doctors appointment? That sounds like something bad, hope he deosnt suffer an injury.
I wonder what airline that plane belongs to...
>>695897785
guys, why is george bush planting c4 all around the office?
>>695898108
pray allah m, pray allah
>>695899332
Dunno.
>>695899167
Fucking lmao come on man
Hey Steve, know what I hate? Planes full of people headed to their deaths.
There's...there's one right behind me isn't th-
>>695897785
That plane sure is flying low.........
الله أكبر
No, you can not plant a bomb in my cubicle thank you very much. Now get out, I am downloading some metallica from napster.
>>695899494
atleast he got out of the building quickly after he was done.
man, im one day from retirement
>>695898789
Hey new guy.
Mind covering for me? I have an errand to take care of. Should be back by 9.
Hey did anyone watch that X-files episode last night?
It was the one were they stopped terrorists from crashing into the World Trade Center.
>>695897785
>another pointless day
>life has lost all meaning
>it still hurts though
>between moments of absolute emptiness
>i just wish i could end it
>but i'm a coward
>how sickening, trapped by fear
>fear of what will set me free
>if i had one wish
>it's that this shit building will crash down
>that these pointless investigations will end
>nothing will come of it, nothing ever does
>huh, the jews aren't here today
>the only miserable cunts that i can stand
>when did i learn to appreciate such bitter hate?
>i wish it would just all end today
>that a plane would just crash into the building
>that we'd all be consumed by fire
>i wish so hard it burns my skin like fire
>oh, that's fire
>thank you baby jesus
>thank you
dudes, why cant they make any realistic explotions in movies.
Dammit! Spilled my coffee!
Whew! My alarm didn't go off, and I almost missed work today, but I ran the whole way here and I'm finally ready to get some good work done. It would've been a shame to come in late and get fired, I need this job. My wife and 2 kids really depend on me, and with another one on the way, every dollar counts. Anyway, nice talking to you Jim, but I've got to g
>>695899267
Kek
>>695899917
Shit!! the steal beams!!
>>695898287
Now, I'd like two eggs, over hard. I know, don't tell me; it's hard on the arteries, but old habits die hard — just about as hard as I want those eggs. Bacon, super-crispy. Almost burned. Cremated.
ALLAHU AKHBAR
>>695900164
Kek
>>695897785
I feel confident in the structural ability of this building im working in
Anyone else see the maintenance work on the Pentagon this morning?
hey, guys!
i paid all 58 interns $20 each to run to the bottom of the north tower, and run to the roof of the south tower!
>>695900194
>>695898559
>>695898426
alright ill have those right out for ya
AMMMMAAAHHHA FCCAKNNGGGHHHAAAAAWD PLANE HIT BUILDING AHAH PLANE HIT BUILDINGG GET THE FUCK OUT THIS IS OMAHA BEACH GET DOWN FAGGGOTTSS GET SPAMM THE STAIRSS
Hola senor I am de Juanitor where did you say was mess?
ITT: You're a window washer on the World Trade Center on 9/11, and you JUST got done washing the very LAST window, you turn around, and what do you see? Tough break.
Yeah, I was talking to Abdul the other day and he told me that Muslims don't practice eye for an eye. I heard that and was like "Wow, that's a pretty noble thing to do." I mean you have to be really peaceful and level headed to commit to that!
hey, wanna see this new base jumping parachute I just bought?
>>695900194
Sir how do you want your hashbrowns?
Ow, that was loud.
>>695900499
Am sorry senor I drop theee windex
I love work at 110th floor, because make me feel more close with the sky, and therefore, with God.
>>695900472
Also cremated. Know what? Just cremate the whole meal. Plate too.
holy shit, a plane just hit the north tower. sure glad i dont work over there, i might have been killed!
>>695900685
hope you know the 110 floor on the south tower was the windows of the world cafe, and on the north tower was the fox station
>>695897785
I caught the early train. my lucky day!
>>695900707
I not cleaning that up señor
Ay, what's happenin' on the north tower?
Anyone wanna watch a movie
>>695901001
Is a clogged toilet boss
If the Yankees don't win the world series this year, I'll fucking kill myself.
>>695900308
kek
Hey Jim, did you know that when cats fall, they always land on their feet? Neato, right?
GEETTT DOWWNW FFFAAFSSSS GOGOGO THE STAARIS THE STAIRS GOOOO THE STAIRS KILL SOMEONE GO FASTER HAT THE FUCK ARE U FOIIIING LOYYYD T GET DODWWN KILLL HIM KILL HIM OVER THERE DO IT WERE ALL FUCKKKD ANYWAY
One of you faggots stole my fucking lunch! It was leftover steak goddammit! First some cunt wiped his feces all over the bathroom so I couldn't take a shit, and now this.
Fucking hell. Can this day get any worse?
>>695897785
Fuck going to work, I'm going to call in sick and watch re-runs of Star Trek.
>Oooh yeah, Jeri Ryan, I'd love to work in your 'Twin Towers' instead.
>>695901199
Why do you keep doing that Lloyd? You're freaking out the interns.
>>695901199
Who the fuck is this guy, someone throw his ass out the window.
>>695901111
Phew, thought there was an explosion.
>>695898447
Keks
$10 says i can run to the top of the north tower by stairs faster than you can in an elevator, Mike
>>695901252
The boss wants to see you. His office is being painted, so he wants to meet in Midtown. Sorry for the inconvenience.
guys look theres a plane heading towards us and we're all gonna fucking die haha
*cough* Uhh... I feel like shit. My fever feels like fire and crippling pain in my back. Should have called in sick today.
There sure are a lot of nice TV's in this building, too bad I could never afford one like this on a firemans salary.
hope i can get away from work early today, the wife got me flying lessons for my birthday
>>695901436
There's a free clinic on the 77th floor.
>>695901338
There was, it was Mr Grosbergstein's ass boss.
ALLAHU
Shouldnt they have hit lower to collapse more of the tower? How did the destruction of the remaining tower even happen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CV5UgInnzQ
>>695901523
Bless you Tom, would you like a tissue?
>>695898581
Suprise! You're going to retire today :)
Hey guys how come Shekelberg or Goldstein didn't show up today?
>>695901497
Really? I never *coughcoughcough* knew that. Thanks.
I'm meeting my wife at 10:00 to see our newborn twins!
i wore my chute to work today...one of these days i'm gonna base jump from this motherfucker.
>>695901608
Jews jumping up and down on the floors above really hard, and then parachuting unseen out the window.
>>695901507
I see.
>>695898055
why are there men drilling holes in the support columns and filling them with C4?
>>695901686
I dunno, they've been acting suspicious all week though. What's up with those guys?
Who thought it'd be funny to put my car keys on the elevator and send it to the top floor. Fuckers
>>695901707
Yeah there shouldn't be any lines. Half the building is mysteriously out. Maybe it's a religious holiday.
>>695901814
It's a new office trend. Once we saw Goldberg sax install one we wanted 500
>>695901865
I think it was muhamad
I've worked here in accounting for 17 years.
Can't wait 'till retirement tomorrow
>>695897785
Ah shit forgot my profolio at home. Well bye guys I will see you later.
Is everyone enjoying take your family to work day?
>>695901814
nothing to see here
just making structural reinforcements
alluah george bush ackhbar
>>695898055
Yo tommy why the fuck hasn't Steinberg, Goldberg and Zimmerman showed up in the last three fucking days...
>>695902054
Where is he? Mr Wahlberg should come flying in at any moment.
>>695901814
It's not C4.
They're mazto balls made out of cement with donor's names on them. It's a fundraiser.
Anyone know the time? I lost my wristwatch.
Anyone know where to get a decent coffee roll around here? Tried the world cafe and they said their toaster oven was busted :(
>>695901681
YAY!
Damn, can't believe I'm late today, hopefully bringing in these donuts will help smooth things over.
FUCK nothing ever happens around here, I wish some shit would just take me down from here
>>695901878
Wow I can't believe the board cares enough about their employees to put a free clinic in. I love this job.
John, im glad this country is being lead by a white man, i bet we will never live the day to see a black president
>>695897785
heres an interview with a CEO of the company that lost the most people in 9/11
he survived and he had to take his kid to kindergarten and was late to work
note at 7:40 mark he says "since that bomb"
very slippery
*sips coffee* alright, let's blow this thing.
>>695902219
dunno dude... i'm too high right now
perhaps you could ask that pilot
>>695902392
https://www youtube.com/watch?v=8rf35t4d214
delete the spaces, go to 7:40
Really strange to be asked to come in and plant all this thermite and C4 ready to demolish the buildings when they're still usin them. I know Mr Smith said its fine but I didn't hear anything about the towers being closed down for rebuilding from tomorrow like he said. But hey, at least he promised me a nice reward up on the roof agree working through the night. Nearly there now. Hey, is that a plane I hear?
>>695902406
Okay but you cup the balls this time
In this plane I think I can see the twin towers from here!!!
*PLANE HAS STRUCK THE NORTH TOWER*
>>695902461
Connie Chung always was cute.
What a piss day even the coffee taste like shit today... Oh well things can only get better from here
It's a bird? It's a plane! No it's-
>>695902231
There's Starbucks on the 76th floor. Can you get me a med frozen coffee while you're up there? Here's the money.
I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING TO ME
>>695898424
But Tim I'm telling you did you see this bearded sama of laden. I saw him on Fox news about a week ago saying "death to America" ... these Muslims are starting to scare me Tim.
*dies*
Anyone wanna snag a coffee and donut with me real quick?
>>695901419
Great, just fucking great. Tell Mr.Skekelgoldstein that I'll be there in a minute. I got to go to the top floor restroom and drop a bomb
>>695897785
What day is it today? I know these buildings were scheduled for emergency demolition by some top officials on the 11th.... It's the 10th right? I mean... why would anyone else be here then...
>>695902268
It's an open-air clinic too. I think it's on the 77th floor.
>>695902504
On the way down. If I last that long.
>>695902676
Don't worry mike, they're all talk.
>be pilot
>running late for my appointment with investments guy
i know - i'll just take a little detour
my job fucking sucks, has to go the fucking top of the building.
I hope this shit building got leveled
>>695902417
It's fine, I found my watch. It's 8:50. North tower needs to chill.
>>695902676
It's probably nothing they don't have the balls to do anything just big mouths
>>695902667
Ah, sure thing Nelson! Anyone else need something while I'm up there? Feeling rather generous with my time today haha. Only given so much of it you know haha :)
Hey guys look, I've never seen a plane fly that low before
>>695898785
>Kike detected. (Reversing history)
>>695897785
I can't believe it's November already.
>>695898785
erectile dysfunction I believe
>>695902710
Alteady on it, unless you wanna come with?
>>695902667
>>695902231
>>695901256
Wtf scott. That means she has two dicks, yo.
>>695902887
Could you drop this in to Sheila in accounting? Thanks buddy.
huh
whats happening i just woke up la-
*planes crashes into tower on tv*
check em !
hey guise!
anyone know any cool 9/11 jokes...?
as in the emergency services?
I was just thinking about how George Bush is such a great president.
>>695903022
Yeah I'll go, I'm tired of playing minesweeper anyways
>be commercial pilot
>on flight 93
>mid-trip, decide to give the co-pilot a little training
>get wasted on coors and fuck all the flight attendents in the restroom
>apparently co-pilot can't handle being alone, asks for some "exotic company"
>tan dude sits with him
>blackout
Strange why there are so many niggers on my floor today.
Oh well, back to filing!
>>695903029
Not a problem friend. She's only one more floor up right?maybe >>695902710 can save my spot on line while the coffees being made
>>695903028
I'm fine with that...I mean no, no I'm not. Being gay is wrong and immoral, so I don't like dick, even if it is Seven's veiny, throbbing, Borg-enhanced white co--I mean, GLORY BE TO GOD!!
>someday, I won't have to hide my fetish
>>695903069
Lady: Hello 911 here what can we do to help you
Crazy man: ALAAHUUU AKBAAR
>>695898962
But jimmy, Saddam isn't that bad... but what really scares me is this Sama of ladeb... fox news won't stop talking about him.
>>695903124
I thought he was just a puppet of the oil/military complex
>Be investment banker
>Sitting in my chair, screwing over my clients.
> Siphoning millions of $$$ from client accounts and normal folks in retirement.
Damn! I am the true definition of a terrorist!
>>695898992
Ya I think it came from the main floor. ..
JESUS I JUST HEARD IT AGAIN WTF?
>>695903368
Bush knows the Bin Ladens.
Funny how you don't hear much about that guy anymore.
>>695902720
Can I talk to you for a second?
>>695897785
SO...
Do any of you guys have PLANES for the holiday?
يتم تعيين الطائرة. قادم الأن
Sandra!
Saaandraaaaa!
It's hot in the office! Open the fucking window and make me a sammwich bitch!
Christ being a window cleaner sucks, over 100 floors of shitty Windows that'll just get bird shit on them again. At least I'm almost done.
Inshallah....
>>695903263
Sure friend I'll hold your spot
maybe if i use that paper and make a parashute w it
see u down gys !
kek thread
I jump, but I jump with a desk and the exact second before I hit the ground I push upwards/jump on the desk mid-air to cushion my fall.
>>695903460
about what? Child modeling pics are legal.
We gotta evacuate? Aww, why?
>>695903477
قد دماء الكفار تمتد إلى الشوارع من هذا الأخ مدينة الشر.
Well just finished writing that report on the Goldstein account, I think it's time for a break by the water cooler, I'll get to see what shenanigans those fuckers in the south tower are getting into.
PLEASE LET THE HIJACKERS BE WHITE
I can hardly imagine the Islamophobia that racists will get from this
Hey does anyone know where >>695901707 is? His report was due an hour ago. He did fake sickness again did he? I told him if I caught him doing that again he would be fired.
>>695897785
Hey Zimmerman, it's 9 am and I'm in the board room on the top floor and no one's here. Did I miss a memo or something?
>>695899191
> mgs jihad was inner jihad but after the existence of the Jews in the middle east... arabs became the terrorist...
Where ever they go, shit hits the fan. The fucking Nazis were right all along
>>695897785
Gee, I hope nothing bad happens today.
>>695903784
Zimmerman: bbl I'm shooting an unarmed black kid
>Be investment banker
>Siphoning billions away from clients accounts
>Fire is burning under my desk
>becoming painful
>Break not for another 20 minutes
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
>>695903572
Thanks bud :)
Be back in a few
Whats kind of pizza are you getting for lunch today, bill?
Two large plane
>>695897785
>LOL LOOK AT ME IM MAKING FUN OF 9/11 AM I ONE OF THE COOL KIDS YET
Summer.
The fall of the twin towers was the most tragic event in the modern history of America. Thousands of people died. Stop pretending this is funny to feel cool and edgy. Literally only newfags do this.
>>695898986
That's that billionaire right? Should make a reality tv show...
Guys where did the other tower go?
>>695904042
Welcome to /b/....no one gives a shit anymore because most of us are dead inside and most of us realize how dead America and how dead the world is anyways. Gtfo
Alright due to the bosses birthday today the emergency fire drill will have to be rescheduled to tomorrow, but please feel free to head up to the top floor for cake and festivities!
>>695904042
Security! Get this guy out!
>>695900164
Underrated post
>>695902917
dat filename tho
>>695904042
>the most tragic event in the modern history of America
holy faggot, this better be a troll, 2/10 for making me respond
>>695904042
boohoo. Some amerifucks fell from a bullshit tower.
An erectile disfunction is more tragic than this.
>>695904042
Get out of here Jim you fucking jew. Always trying to bless us with your righteousness and smug attitude.
>>695903476
Keep you shitty puns to yourself, Bob
Jesus...my wife just left me, little Jimmy has cancer, my dog died.... Could anything make this day any worse?!
>>695904060
"The Trump White House" would be awesome.
He could be like Nixon recording his convos
only using a camera crew instead
>>695897785
hey guys, did you see that Simpsons episode where Donald Trump ran for President? Like we'll ever live to see that!
>>695904381
how the fuck do you fall for such bait?
>Be me walking to canteen for breakfast
>Think to myself it is a lovely day
>Start singing
Im walking on sunshine! Oooohwooohwoooh!
>>695904042
Leave then pussy
I'm not even sure I want to come to work today. I'm still grieving over Thuy's death just a week ago.
> I'll have some pizza
> What kind?
> Two large planes, please.
>>695897785
Receptionist: Good morning Mr. Cosgrove! I thought you had taken the day off? Kevin Cosgrove: Well I did Suzy but my appointment is at one so I thought what the hell, I love my job might as well get some hours in while I'm young! I'll be leaving after lunch so if I don't see you before then I hope you have a great day! Man the sky sure is clear today the towers look lovely from out front sure would be a shame if they ever fell! hee hee hoo hoo Receptionist: Oh Kevin you're so silly that would never happen! Jet fuel can't melt steal beams.
>>695904042
>summer
>even though people were making fun of it on /b/ when it was ACTUALLY fucking happening
Way to prove how new you are, faggot
>>695904042
HQ bait 9/10
>>695902842
Jeez I hope so Tim... oh shit did you hear that I think I just heard an explosion in the base floor... DID YOU FEEL IT?!
>>695904426
You're fired, faggot. Clean out your desk and l go home within the next half hour or, we'll have your ass escorted.
>>695897785
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
>>695899594
fuck you maluma
>>695899102
Does anyone smell smoke?
>>695904923
Probably a bunch of hipster faggots burning something in the kitchen.
>>695904835
>be me on 80th floor
>really hungry for a bagel
>realise ive only got 10 minutes for break
>call in my order on the way down to save time
Anyone want me to run to get an early lunch from the best pizza place in NY Dominos?
>>695898785
Deported
Oh dude, I'm so hard. Hope no one enter into this toilet while I roughly fap.
Radiohead's Amnesiac is such a nice compliment to Kid A. If this is the last album I listen to, I would die happy.
What is this thing on this support pillar? It looks like a clock or a timer of sorts....
>>695905208
No I've got a lunch date with a friend of mine who's a chef at Wendy's Manhattan.
>>695897785
there is a plane com...
Islam is a peaceful religion. If I'm lying, may the Lord strike down this tower.
>>695897785
security here. we have everything under control. please go back to work in the high level floors.
>>695905652
fucking newfag
doesn't recognize thermostat
a lot of people hate tuesdays, but i gotta say, its my favorite day of the week by far!
Gee bill what you screaming for
>>695903740
حفظ عذراء واحد بالنسبة لي
>>695905972
Shut up Towel-head Terry
It's just another sunny New York and holy fuck!
>>695905898
Just hope he doesnt turn it up. Any hotter and I'll start melting
>>695906633
That's just construction going on upstairs. We're just going to have to live with it.
>>695902917
Fdfdaa
>>695897785
THE END IS COMING
>>695897785
Yelling, "ALLAH HO AKBAR" over the intercom...
>>695904814
No that was just a bass drop. I'm toying with my computer to make some "music." I think I'll call it dubstep
8am: Man, I really need a cup of coffee before the 8:45am meeting.
8:45am: Oh jeez I'm late!
>mfw I look up at my office in the 86th floor
>this entire thread
>>695897785
So Mike like I was saying my brother is such a loser, he spends all days smoking meth, fucking random hoes, he has not studies, he party almost every damn night, work&travel around the globe, he tells us the most bizarre histories ever, he doesn't even have a bank account!
Luckily I am the proud of my family, never touched any drugs, never been unfaithful to my wife, have a PhD in economy and here I am working at the 101 floor in this big corp at the top of the world, with almost a million in savings!!
>>695897785
Im scared of heights im working in the subway on the ground floor. who wants a free Cold Cut Combo
>>695899536
KEK
New York is such a shithole, needs a little spice around here a little shake-up, y'know lad
>be me
>my name is Mike
>everyone in the office fucking hates me for some reason
>Jim on the 30th floor is basking in his PhD glory
>if he's so great, then why is he working on the 30th floor?
>fucking Mary on the 56th floor, cooking her bagels well done
>this job sucks
>at least i retire tomorrow
>proceed to pop in my "all rush" disc into my walkman, listen to it while i work (literally everyone is doing this, with different music)
>Pete (my supervisor) walks up to me, tells me i can't listen to music while working
>ask why
>tells me "because you're a jew"
>fuck my life
