Are there any criminals on /b/? whats your hustle?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Are there any criminals on /b/?
whats your hustle?
>>695697328
Fucking your mom
>>695697328
What's yours?
>>695697328
Fucking your dad
I downloaded The Interview before release date.
>>695697449
rip
>>695697328
got a fine once as a civilian
done countless crimes while in military
never killed or raped, did use violence, drugs, sexual harassment against some whore, theft, forged documents, did medical procedures that i wasnt trained for (was only a medic) etc etc etc
I rape bitches, give em an enema on the spot to clear out DNA, and make a bolt for it
I use the carpool lane when I'm alone
>>695697328
I download music illegally. I feel a rush when I do it you should try.
>I hope FBI doesn't catch me.
>>695697510
i get by with some basic fraud.
i go to work in a place with student discount on certain items. its not well advertised but its half price.
almost every time someone buys the item I charge them full price and till it in at its discounted price.
i need to be more careful as i assume that the bosses are starting to catch on.
>>695697832
oh shit son.
how much have you made?
>>695697717
That's FUCKING Hardcore
I lurk /b/
>>695697328
I release great instrumental music.
>>695697328
Old school burglary and identify theft.
>>695697740
>>695697740
this type of person is what snowden created.
>>695697717
Fuck you
>>695697328
i illegaly download internets. until this day i have about 230 internets stored at my basement
>>695697510
moar
>>695697510
"Oh wait, fuck was I on the third or the second 9... was it 9th row or 10th row... Alright let's start over. 9, 9, 9, 1 FUCK
>>695697328
Pirating games mostly. When I was in college I stole dogs and gave them back to their owners when there was a reward for their return posted. I also steal shit from stores and I deal pot once in a while
>>695697832
Some advice, find someone who works most of your shifts with you but not all. Only do this on days when the other person (hopefully an asshole) is working. The first check they will do is looking at numbers of discounts and compare to shifts. It's the easy way to catch anything in retail.
If that fails they will move on to closer monitoring of what money goes to what till and more careful counting.
Just stay alert to any changes in procedure regarding counting the till. Also see if they swap some shifts around. If they do, change your tactic accordingly, if you cannot stop altogether for a few weeks and pick a new mark.
No one's knows it. But I have a twin I keep locked in my basement. I mind broke him. Everyday I send him out to do my job for me while I stay home and watch TV and chill. When he comes home it's right back into the basement. I feed him well and all but whenever there's something I don't want to do I send him to do it.
>>695698833
>dognapping
what would you do to this if no reward was offered?
do you think people have noticed that you seem to find a lot of lost dogs?
>>695699391
Sell them to dog fighters. They usually like puppies for their fighters to rip up first.
>>695697510
I don't get how these work. There's no 0, no 2, 4, 6, 8....
>>695699391
I actually stopped once people started getting suspicious but never got caught. Made a lot of money. I love dogs and I don't want to fuck up people's lives, but I still fleeced them. I never stole a dog that didn't get back home.
So far I've managed to make 1200 a month doing this.
basically you find a place that's hiring
say some bullshit to the boss to get hired
get onto their computer and find something called "clockin"
they'll usually give you a username and pass that works on that screen
"clockin" everyday
shit around for hours
wait two weeks
then suddenly you'll have money in your bank account
they LITERALLY give it to you
by far the easiest hustle I've ever done
i think >>695699532
is more believable than >>695699588
Just steal random small shit, never anything big
>>695699588
>I never stole a dog that didn't get back home
Okay that makes it all better
I don't seed my torrents
I stole a candy bar at school once, ask me anything
>>695699540
It's because there is only 5 buttons and each button compensates for 2 numbers.
>>695699664
>say some bullshit to the boss to get hired
this is where reality has most people fucked.
in most places theres no way to get a job unless you know people who can hook you up.
Sold access to a few webservers i got root access on. Made a few bitcoin. Should have sold them all when the market was still high =/
>>695697328
dealing
>>695697558
>release date
But they gave it away for free
>>695699664
Clever.
>>695699766
were in a crime thread.
nobodys trying to justify anything fag.
its for survival.
>>695699540
Look closely at the pic of the numpad
>>695699776
But in the stupid example they include the even numbers, but skip the 2 for some reason.
This was created by a retard.
>>695699829
try to not break the law in the thread fag.
were only discussing.
>>695699812
oh look, a pile of paper.
what undeniable proof you've presented of your completely unspecified feat, you raging autist
>>695699769
this may be by far the worst thing in this thread
>>695699825
Why is the money soaked in blood!? Wtf man!
Off-topic, but is it taser wire or fluid ejection from the gunshot wound?
>>695699769
>>695699956
Sorry lmao
>>695699803
>unless you know people who can hook you up
meh you're right, I've gotten every job I've ever had through connections
gay escort
Insider trading. Just a little bit.
>>695699803
That's why I'm still living with parents with a bachelor's degree.
>>695699864
I know that's why it makes it all better
>>695699825
You should delete pictures like that after you take them.
>>695699664
what if they expect you to do work like stuff?
do we blame the patriarchy?
>>695700170
look man he didn't take your job
>>695698150
how can you sleep at night, monster?
I use psychology to make little kids watch my videos
their parents collectively pay 100k a year because of this
>>695700225
its just money... hahaha
>>695700054
Totes tazer wire
>>695700054
Well, that rifle isn't an assault taser....
>>695697558
underrated kek
Shop lifting stuff using a backpack and aluminium foil
>>695699829
Why would you hack from your personal computer
>>695697449
Demmit bro
>>695699944
Alright, you're not getting it.
Pressing 1 also counts as a 2, so for example pressing 55111 also counts as 56111, 66111, 56211, 65212, 55222 ... and so on
I can see why you think it's fucked up but it's the way they design these numpads that's the problem, the example is right on.
>>695697328
>>695697974
I double my monthly income, so a fair bit.
>>695698993
i totally havent started that with a couple assholes i work with,
>>695699739
>>695699532
Samefag
>>695700054
Breast implant probably, either that or the man is half puss.
>>695700259
No, it's because I'm socially inept and don't have connections because I spent my time studying rather than making friends.
I know why I don't have a job. And I'm not sure how to get one short of meeting the right person in the right position to help me out.
>>695700527
Nothing is real on /b/ after all
>>695699812
nigga there is only 12 mo in a year, who do you think you're kidding?!
>>695699944
look at the actual sequence its all odds you fucking nigger
I used to transport all kinds of stolen cars, trucks and merchandise for the mob. My contact would tell me what to pick up, where it was, where and when to drop it off. Never got caught, made ridiculous money. Socked it all away, paid cash for my first house when I was 26. Got out of the trade when a couple of the fellas got busted for illegal sports book (which I had nothing to do with). To this day, I'm known to several Capos. I'm untouchable. Feels good man.
>>695700170
I thought that was because your bachelors degree in business doesn't mean shit.
Your only choice is to go back to school with a goal in mind instead of generalized shit tier pleb degree's like business.
>>695700629
I know I understand. Probably wont look good for me after i graduate either
>>695699391
>They claim dog = Reward
>They don't claim dog = Reward
>>695700342
I only know one guy who got convicted because of the evidence on his phone/pc. But it happens. Just looking out bro, nice bud.
I sold drugs everyday for 5 years, still do it some. It was mostly heroin and pills (opiates mostly but also benzoate and speed) but some weed and coke thrown in. If I thought I could turn a profit it sell it
>>695700170
>That's why I'm still living with parents with a bachelor's degree.
this happened because you didnt make the connections through your professor.
quietly getting your degree in the back of class is pointless. go and talk to your professors you where with and ask them about jobs. they will at least point you in the right direction.
i shoplift all of my groceries toiletries and other household shit and spend the money i save on drugs and hookers
>>695699971
it was for a different thread today.
>>695697328
I just got caught by a friend trying to kill an ice addict. I was trying to hotwire a car (fucking idiot kept gloves in his car, i'll never get caught for that one) when she called me asking where i was, i webt to the place the addict lived and he wasn't there so i told her i was at a park, then i had to sprint to this park but she beat me to it and i told her everything. She didn't even care. She told me that she understood the type of childhood i had and will keep it to herself as i never actually killed anyone.
>planned to slit his wrist and smother him with something to make it look like a suicide.
>no one would have questioned the possibility of anything other than he did a hero as he was a shitty ice addict
>>695700106
same. except for my first job which was a call center.
but i figured they hire anyone they can because people leave so fast. it was a call center. my supervisor was literally a gangster.
>>695700751
Can you tell us any more? How'd you get into it? Most interesting job?
>>695700054
You can see the officer behind the car fire his taser.
I once stole a sachet of salt from a fast food restaurant
>>695700917
is that what crack looks like?
When i was 50 years old i was diagnosed with lung cancer. Bumped into this fag that i knew once and we started cooking some gimmicky crystal meth. Made alot of money. i'm dead now
>>695700917
>a pubic hair
>>695701123
it's SUGAR I swear
>>695701141
That sucks. How'd you die?
>>695701071
you can also see the officer with the rifle take 1 shot.
>>695701191
bad writing
>>695700805
Txs for that mate. Anyway I live in Spain and here things are easy...
My hot girlfriend goes out everyday with a homeless sign and because of old cucks wanting to try to get her she makes 112$ an hour. Yes we keep track on a chart.. She cpmes home and we party on drugs hotels and we own a drop top mercedes. All from her being a hustler. I love this woman. I tell her she can stop anytime she wants but she is strong willed and independant af. Im just happy she chooses me to share the wealth with. I havmt worked in 6 months. Sotting at home now waiting for her to get back. She wont sell her body. Trust me she isnt like that. 5 years together. Down ass girl. Bring daddy home the bacon
Say what u want. We live like kings. She pulls 2500 a week. Easy
>>695700917
GROSS THERE IS A FUCKING HAIR IN IT.
>>695700917
ketamine
>>695700054
why do i usually find people getting electrocuted so funny?
>>695701191
I set up a heavy machine gun in the trunk of my car. walked into a gang hideout and toke them along with myself out. Death isn't so bad. atleast i don't have to listen to my wife or wipe the ass of my retarded son anymore
>>695697591
hope you regret it at least. Fucking soldiers
>>695697328
>i lost my job in dec 2012 as a poker dealer, fired for being late as fuck too often
>my best friend calls me to ask me to look after his grow house in Wales
>promised £3k at end of grow if i look after house and they said they will pay bills
>move to Wales to this middle of nowhere village near Neath called Resolven
>help him and other shady scary guy set up
>sign rent agreement for the house with chill landlord
>they go home
>didn't get any payments for bills from them
>had to sign on and be dolescum benefit fraud wtf
>meanwhile, look after plants, keep them updated
>play computer games alot
>be alone a lot
>living in relative poverty
>2 months pass
>gf calls me, wants me to come back and see her
>go see her on train using dole money
>while there, friend calls, says do not come back, police have raided
>went back to pick up my private property
>took it and went back home to notts
1/2
>>695701108
That's nothing, I stayed at a hotel once and stole the batteries from the tv remote and took the toilet paper when I left
>>695700892
Benzos I mean
>be me
>be middle european university student from upperclass family
>look completely normie
>life in bad neighborhood whilst going to university because I like it
>steal something every time I go to the supermarket
>stole chicken breast today
>nobody suspects the german white guy in a are filled with immigrants and bums
I don't even get a rush out of it, I just leave the stuff in my bag, pay the rest and leave, but I can't stop doing it.
>>695701308
According to other people, this sugar looks more like ketamine
>>695697328
I took a shit in public and got away with it
>>695701371
Because you're a sociopath? (And because it is sort of funny)
Tearing off the tags of a mattress.
>>695701290
she's a whore
>>695701282
What's it like in Spain, with regards to your business?
>>695700342
your moss has some dirt in it, better throw that out
>>695701282
well 1 gram 5euros its cheap compared with the 15 bucks in usa, and also we have tons of hachis thanks to the sandniggers that live at the other side of the sea, but being a simple dealer dont let you earn that much money... o vendes mucho o no vendes maria exactmanete...
>>695700054
after the perp hits the ground the cop to the left looks over at the shooter like "oh shit haha"
>>695701290
HAHAHAHA
>>695701282
Denmark here, weed is flowing everywhere, mostly hash. If you get caught it's just shitty, not really life destroying. Nice joint.
>>695697328
>be me
>in grade 5 or some shit
>find it difficult to keep track of age due to december bday
>younger grade 5 age
>mom takes me to dentist
>such a good boy, keeping my teeth clean
>can choose one toy from dollar store toy box in next room
>want both bouncy ball and skateboard
>take ball and pocket skateboard
>nobody even knew
>get home and play with both
>skateboard is boring unless you at school doin finger skateboard tricks
>lose both few days later
>>695700328
She's a hoe, bro
>>695701492
you fucking monster
I hope that cops catch you and throw you in prison.... and you know what they do to guys who steal from hotels in prison.
>>695701280
9/10 underrated post
>>695701446
You mounted the gun in your car then you walked in without it. Common mistake.
>>695701290
>Trust me she isnt like that
>>695701371
like this?
>>695700762
lol my bachelor's degree is in something far more useless, thank you.
>>695701472
cont.
2/2
>be summer 2014
>forgot about "criminal" past
>be 5am in the morning
>be playing football manager on computer
>hear knock on the door, i answer
>it's police
>"are you anon?"
>see they have my ID on a clipboard. "yes i am anon"
>"you are under arrest for production of a controlled substance" etc
>ohshit.jpg
>get taked to station
>in cell 10 hrs whilst wait for welsh police to come interview
>feelsbadman.jpg
>i decline to answer all questions
>fast forward apr 2015
>2x court dates, get moved to crown court
>had to travel to fucking swansea both times, one time by force by police, had to get gf to pick up that time
>they accuse significant role in minor grow (20 plants)
>plead guilty
>150 hrs comm service, 6 months suspended for 18 with supervision
>never doing that shit again
>>695701270
more than likely a beanbag round.
>>695702027
the obvious solution is to go back to college and not fuck up this time
>>695701611
Knew that was on its way. Naw. She just a real ride or die chick. Sometimes i go sit nearby and keep her company. Or i do the same a block away. We are a team. Dont be jelly u dont have this. Relationship goals son
>>695701703
surely most of the weed in denmark comes from spain
>>695701631
>>695701703
Business is easy, I'm young, I know lots of people. No police pressure, they're looking for other things. I live in Barcelona. 8 years dealing now. Solo marÃa y hachÃs, m de vez en cuando
>be me in 5th grade
>dad has seemingly countless porn mags in his closet dating back to the 70s
>mention it to friends because wow who has that many
>they flip beg me to steal one for them
>idea
>steal 10
>at school sell porn for 5 dollars a mag, 8 for big ones
>make serious bank for a kid
>time goes on never get caught even though porn all over the school at this point
>dad eventually notices large chunks of mags missing
>get my ass kicked
>people start pasting pics up in bathrooms
>people narc and say they got it from me
>get in trouble at school, get in trouble at home again
>get ass beat twice
i bought myself a few n64 and ps1 games with all the money so semi worth it
>>695701998
topkek
>>695702054
Hey.... I got a house with some plants in it... you want to watch it if I pay you?
>>695702113
you're not watching very closely
>>695702054
Community service isn't so bad. i did it once and me and a bunch of other fags got caught up in a storm and got super powers. Wasn't bad
>>695702196
It's so hilarious, I don't even care if it's bait or if you're being honest and think she isn't whoring.
>>695702054
>150 hrs comm service, 6 months suspended for 18 with supervision
i bet you are white.
youd be serving life if you where a minority.
When I was a teenager we printed off a sponsorship form with a different schools logo on and went around collecting house to house while we were meant to be at school.
We made around £250 and spent it all on weed and cheap alcohol, fucking good times!
>>695702348
that show started decent and ended fucking stupid
>>695702283
you should've offered your dad a cut....
and just like the kid from the cartoon Recess, you could've been hustler kid
>>69570159
lol anon you will like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAaoHX9KiWY1
>>695702238
Try to hide you GPS exif better the next time :^)
>>695698202
A crime of which I too am guilty
>>695702400
He was let off lightly for being Welsh in Wales.
>>695702238
debes de ser de los que mas controlan por barna que no sean mafias porque que ganen eso solo con maria y choco no se de nadie, yo tambien soy de barna lol
>>695697328
I download and sell child pornography to pedophiles out on parole.
Specifically I load up an old phone with it and pass it along for pretty good money usually.
>>695701063
I was working on cars for a couple of shit-tier hoods, and they asked me if I knew how to drive a truck (like, a semi). I said I could (I really couldn't, but how hard can it be, right? PRETTY FUCKING HARD the firs couple of times!) The first job was to drive a truck from a shopping center parkinng lot to a warehouse downtown. Simple. A mid-level gangster drove me back home, and we just talked about mundane bullshit on the way. When we got back to my car, he gave me $500, and asked if he could depend on me. I said, "If I'm ever late, it's because I'm dead." (From "Kelly's Heroes") He liked that and said he'd be in touch. From then on, He was my contact. I never had to deal with the flunkies again.
The coolest thing I ever moved was an auto transporter loaded with vintage race cars. I nearly spunked myself when I saw it!
I never asked questions. I never got caught by cops or the people who had "forfeited" the property. There are probably less than a dozen people who know what I did, but there are hundreds who know my name, and know that I'm untouchable. I never failed to deliver.
>>695702238
How much do you pay per kilo? I pay 4.55 per gram for good weed and 5.1 for coffeeshoplevel haze. Western EU
I had a scam going for 2 month now.
1. Lure them in
Placed an add in the newspaper for a good payed deskjob.
No specifics, but mention high salary.
No direct mention of education.
2. Location
We have hundreds of empty office buildings around, check the local real estate adds and found one that's been sitting for years as a tax scam.
Break in, decorate office.
3. Interviews
I have 4-5 interviews a day 2 hours apart.
All females that I select from the job applications.
Go out and get a VERY nice suit. Act all alpha and corporate.
4. Deception
Slowly work in to the conversation that there are plenty of applicants and she needs to have "something special"
5. Blowjobs/sex
I shit you not - but 2-3 in 5 applicants will either let me smooth talk them into something physical or a blowjob.
1 in 10 will fuck you to get the job.
I have sex 3-4 times a week.
I have no regrets.
>>695701290
>independent
>panhandling on the streets
lol ok. I guess she's supporting your ass too.
1/3
>be 14 year old me
>4th of july
>get brilliant idea to combine many fireworks into one large one
>proceed to break several fireworks in half and empty all the powder into a mechanical pencil lead container.
>add fuse to container
>tape it all around
>decide it will be better to blow up with friends at my school
>>695702238
What's your best story?
>>695702113
You're a fucking idiot. It was a real round and he's dead as fuck.
http://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2015/12/05/miami-police-shoot-suspected-robber-valencia-nr.cnn
>>695702400
that's because the best way to avoid bad neighbors is to remove them from society
Nobody wants to live around the nig nogs with the shitty houses, and nice cars.
it literally drops the value of your home to have niggers in your neighborhood
>>695702595
yeah you are probably right.
my americanism took over when i saw he was talking about us.
He was simultaneously tazed by the officer behind the car and shot by the officer with the AR.
>>695702612
stiki me llaman
>>695697328
does buttrape count?
I havent paid for a song or movie since 2008. I have 2 tb of blu ray rips and a library of music.
>>695697328
Sold drugs a few years back. Decided "nah" at some point, cut all ties, moved to a different city and am now an engineering student.
>>695702384
Dude. Why does ever tirl gotta be a whore? She is a great girl. She gas never sold her body. Never once. She would make waaay more money.. I guess u missed the part where i sit nearby watching her all day. I personally know 110% she would never stoop that low. She may be a scam artist. But shes a classy scam artist. She and i make so much there is no need to prostitute.. Oh well think what u want. Ill keep counting money as tge 100s roll in. I hope u all find a ride or die bitch like mine one day..
>>695702238
It probably does, i honestly have no idea where it comes from. The biker fairy's bring it on on their sparkly ponies of magic. Bunch of degenerate faggots.
>>695702703
That seems like a lot of work just to fuck some girls
>>695699148
Identical twin?
>>695697328
occasionaly i blackmail my hard drug using friends, they are all super paranoid by now
>>695701508
this is a kleptomaniac, ladies and gentlemen.
>>695702703
too bad you're not more attractive.
>>695702623
NORMIE! GET OFF MY BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>695702678
3€ per gr for great indoor quality
2€ per gr for outdoor
>>695702740
Well, there are no funny stories, but one time two guys came to my house (I wrongly trusted them). When they were inside and saw all the weed, one of them pull out a pepper spray and used it in my face. THey got everything they could and ran away. I have heard of them, but they are too dangerous and crazy to try something.
>>695700054
I don't understand why they killed him when they could have tazed him and just taken the knife. Kind of stupid
>>695702873
It's all about the game.
>>695701896
>drop the soap
>NEVER, IT'S MINE NOW
>>695702623
kill yourself
>>695702165
yes. and accrue even more student debt for another degree that I may or may not get a job with! sounds like a brilliant plan that couldn't fail!
>>695703063
dude... thats not only weed....
they sprayed something on it, ive worked with these
>>695703080
cops make bad decisions occasionally
they're only human after all
How much do you hate this guy?
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
>>695702797
veenga tendras el piso lleno de plantas jajaja y pedazo yurton
>>695697328
Habitual speeder.
ThugLyfe4Eva
>>695697683
0/10
>>695702623
that sounds fun
>>695703195
Yes I have heard all kind of stories about brixx and shit. But man this is Spain people are not that smart. If they want to rip you they'll just bring a gun.
>>695702768
that's america.
outside of america, black people aren't all niggers.
>>695703218
Nice summer we're having hey anon?
>>695699825
thats like... 200 euro
im guessing you are from holland
>>695702718
i made one of those yestureday. i have it on my desk lmao
>>695702718
2/3
finding my creation after loosing it for several months.
>oh shit, forgot about this!
>decide to take it to school the next day
>also found several intact fireworks
>better take those too
>next day comes around
>in between classes all morning, setting off small fireworks in the hall
>funny as fuck
>people getting super scared and laughing
>chillin in class when the intercom comes on
>can you please send anon to the office?
>oh fuck
>in office, they scold me for doing what i was doing, they confiscate the rest of my shit and send me back to class
>lunch comes along, time for big one, but no lighter
>gangster guy said he'll do it since they took my lighter
>time comes
>lights it and drops it
>we all fucking scatter
>never hear explosion.
>oh well
>sitting in class again when intercom comes on
>please send anon to the office
>i go and theyre talking to gangster guy
>as he walking out he said "dey called de cops wey"
>i silently mouth oh shit to him
>principal sees me and says "oh shit is right, get in here
>cop in room
>>695703054
stop being 8 years old pls thx
who /law abiding citizen with a CCW/ here?
>>695703256
No planto nada, lo pillo todo. La verdad es que me paso el dia parriba y pabajo, aunque tmb tengo estudios y un trabajo de programador.
Estoy por la zona de la montaña, de que barrio eres?
>>695697328
Well, if I had one, I certainly wouldn't be stealing '98 Renault Twingos.
>>695703080
Stupid is still waving a knife around while guns are being pointed at you. That would be proof enough for me that said stupid guy is capable of stupider things like getting stabby. I'd shoot him too.
>>695702745
>you mean you couldn't see the high velocity projectile that shot from his firearm?!?
>fucking retarded piece of shit waste of space can't even into high speed vision
check your privilege faggot
>>695698714
Or you could just check off the rows you started...
>>695699588
you're such a kind genuine person anon
>>695702650
Thanks for the response, sounds like dope work. Would love to hear any more if you've got it. what makes you so sure you're untouchable? Has it come into play before?
>>695703113
I've got 8 inches, think you can take it??
>I ransacked the entire room at holiday inn for freebies. I bet you didn't know that the door hinges come off with a screw driver. Complimentary cabinet door for me you damn nigger
>>695703426
3/3
>get arrested
>friday before thanksgiving break
>no court all week so instead of spending the night, i stay 6 nights.
>my single mom completely flipping her shit
>thanksgiving dinner in juvi better than at home anyway
>rich white grandma hires a badass lawyer
>get off with 90 hours community service
>break house arrest several times to go skate with friends
>boot camp for 9months
my first and only crime ive ever committed on purpose.
>>695699769
I've never bothered to fnd out what seeding torrents is.
>>695703661
owning a dog isn't much better
>>695703607
>enjoys living in a police state
>justify cops killing civilians
>>695702623
damn... thats pretty fuckin neato
>>695699769
Death sentence is appropriate in this case...
Honor among thieves my ass
>>695699956
kek
>>695703796
if you don't know what seeding is... why would you make this statement.
>>695703170
Try a degree in the construction or manufacturing field.
There will always be a need for electricians and plumbers or Lathe and CNC programmers
>>695697328
Past criminal. Never charged. During my late teens, I burglarized several apartments and homes.
As opposed to kicking in doors or breaking windows, I picked door locks to gain entry. I used nothing more than a paper clip and a metal prong off a fork (seriously) when I started.
Picking locks requires more time than breaking a window or kicking in a door, but I enjoyed the rush and challenge of it. If I failed to pick a lock due to security features, I would return a week or month later with better tools, allowing me to successfully pick the lock.
Upon gaining entry to an apartment or home, I never broke anything. I took small valuables such as jewelry, guns, and electronics. I did this for a few months.
After deciding to quit being a criminal, I lost my job, had no money, was facing eviction, and was hungry. Naturally I went back to what I do best: burglary.
I burglarized the apartment below mine. Again, I picked the lock. As opposed to stealing the victim's Apple MAC and expensive goods, I took his food and small change.
A few days later, I noticed he equipped a dead bolt. I assume he thought that would prevent another entry. It kinda pissed me off, so I picked his dead bolt and door knob, gaining entry again. Instead of stealing anything, I left a note. It was something to the effect of "no locks, including dead bolts, can keep me and other criminals out." "I didn't steal anything this time." Cringey, I know, but I was young and dumb at the time.
I was almost caught by the maintenance man as I left the victim's apartment. I fled down a stairway and out of an emergency exit door and into some nearby woods. I monitored the place. No cops were called. Fortunately the witness didn't see my face.
Victim moved out. Scared? Maybe.
Because I almost got busted by a fucking maintenance worker, I quit being a criminal and was evicted a few months later. Became homeless. Worked in a shelter. Got my shit together.
>>695702650
>things that happened
>>695697765
i fraud by get some basic.
>>695703348
The rest of the world isn't civilized I see....
Lynch the niggers
>>695703607
this is what america has made out of its 14 yr olds
>>695703824
couldn't agree more
>Be me
>Be constantly buying pot by the zip
>Get offer from plug
Work at my business that I front money through and I'll pay your rent and give you as much weed as you can carry
>Soundsgoodnigga.png
>Start working shitty job and getting blazed as fuck everyday
>Become management
>Fire kid for smoking pot in his car
>I am god
blackhat hacker, responsible for taking down the new york stock exchange.
guys heres my life plan
>leave life of fraud behind
>attend school and get degree in art / education
>become high school art teacher in colorado
>smoke herb all night and teach art all day.
>live with gf who is parole officer
>make about 100k a year between us both
what do you think fags.
>>695704086
>black people act civilized outside of US because they didn't grow up in a culture that manifested out of slavery and shared hatred
>lynch them anyway
>we civilized now
oh America... what would we do with you?
>>695703513
entonces eres una soci en persona jaja esta bien saber que tambien hay camellos con estudios y trabajo, yo me muevo por sarria o por las afueras como sancugat
>Thought crime
The things I think about... man, if the government knew, I'd be screwed.
>>695704086
you dumb bitch
>>695704222
>what do you think fags.
This:
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>695704222
>become high school art teacher in colorado
>>live with gf who is parole officer
>>make about 100k a year between us both
you have no idea how much either of these jobs actually pay... do you?
>>695700921
wtf did i just read?
>>695697328
I get jobs in security then make copies of master keys, HID Cards, map holes in camera coverage, etc, and sell the information to gangs that rob the offices and other places I work at. I usually end up getting fired for something minor, then I go back and rob the place myself and find a new site to work at.
>>695702718
>>695704228
kek... our niggers are so niggery that even minorities in other countries are looked down on
>>695704272
Winrar
>>695703824
I'm perfectly OK with cops fucking up stupid and obnoxious people. I've been pulled over 4 or 5 times drunk off my ass and every single time I was let go because I listen, I don't act suspicious and I'm not a dick.
Civilized People: +1
Idiots: 0
>>695704246
yo vivo cerca de la av tibidabo... pensaba que seria el unico en 10 km a la redonda q podria entrar a este sitio. Un saludo tio
>>695704222
sounds fine
but you better learn to do impressive art, not the I built a house out of tin windmills art
Went well above 40
>>695704314
you rustled my jimmies you niggery nigger
>>695704358
sounded like he was about to kill some addict, who wasn't home, and got a call from a friend forcing him to meet her for some reason, thus preventing the murder.
>>695701290
But anon. Taxes.
>>695697328
I smoke weed. I'm in Washington so that's legal in and of itself but you're not supposed to do it outside in public and sometimes I do anyway.
>>695704400
sounds like you got lucky.
you should take you anecdotal "this wouldn't happen to me" attitude and shove it right up your ass.
>>695704468
saludos tio y buena suerte con el hustling
>>695704473
>but you better learn to do impressive art, not the I built a house out of tin windmills art
He doesn't have to. If his story is true, he's making a decent and respectful living. Most people I know with a degree in art fail in the field, causing them to get an entry level job in retail or something.
>>695704632
also sounds like he's pretty white
>>695697683
dont cut yourself on that edge
>>695704400
>much anecdotal evidence
>>695704677
that's because a degree in art doesn't make your art any better
but it does qualify you to teach art which is what he's doing
>>695700054
If you watch it frame per frame you can see the wire. it doesn't behave like fluids
>>695702797
Holy shit, I don't speak Spanish but that makes my blunts with an oz in em look childish
![god-damn-i-love-being-white-original-meme[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/dzAR0sv.jpg "god-damn-i-love-being-white-original-meme[1].jpg")
>>695702400
>>695704677
it's a life plan idiot, that's why they were told to do cool art, they have plenty of time to learn it
>>695700644
MODS
chekd but MODS
>>695698253
Tips on ID theft or souces for info please... asking for friend, no homo etc
>>695704960
lol man is not worth it bro. destroy it.
>>695702595
oriignal story teller here
i am english
>>695703666
I'm only untouchable from the mob. I could still get carjacked in Dallas or mugged in Seattle by some random thug. When you're untouchable, you know it.
It was kind of fun, but it was a pretty high-stress environment to be in. Many times, probably more often than not, I would be handing over the shipment to people I didn't know. I never had to handle money, so that alleviated a lot of the pressure on the situation. The whole "briefcase full of hundreds" thing just doesn't happen. It's really bad to have stolen property and money in the same place. I was just a driver.
Whenever I see people I know from that time, we don't recognize each other. We just go on about our business. That's kind of too bad, really. We had a lot of good times back then, but once you're out, you're out for life.
>>695697328
professional street nigga
>>695700342
showin off 300 quid off ish in EU is kinda stupid if its not legal in your country.
you movin too low, step up and move a bar or a box and bag your shit right - fuck the norm, if your bud is banging all the time and on point when they ring, they will settle for a 2.5g bag instead of a 3g bag for instance. Compromises like that when you bagging/weighing make you the real money off a whole box when you do the math.
Fuck your 300 quid in tenners haha probs UK and you can be really grindin but you on here
>>695704885
it's obviously pec implant fluid
Programmer of nearly 15 years
I charge over $100/hr for my services
I own a small company of Asians in the philipines that I pay $4/hr each I usually use 2-3 at a time depending on the complexity of the project
I check their code meticulously and send it to the client
I estimate I spend 15 mins checking per hour of developed code so let's call that 25% of my time, leaving me with $75/hr
Minus costs of $12/hr I make ~$63/hr which I often spend onbackpage filth to come fuck me silly while I'm in my half a million dollar house
I tell my customers their code is secure because it's 100% in country (western country)
I could probably turn it into a business but why bother? I'm usually balls deep in some chicks shit locker while collecting more than enough to get by. Don't need to complicate it
My parents don't know. My gf thinks I'm happy with the once a month she lets me fuck her pussy... Life is good
>>695705044
is it loud?
>>695701703
>exactmanete
Manete. Tu más que vender, te lo chutas no?
>>695705076
Damn, that's really interesting.
Thanks for sharing
>>695705175
mine didnt even go off.
teacher found it and connected it to me since i was popping fire works all day.
the fuse fell out when the gangster dropped it. if you are gonna do it maker sure that shit dont fall out. and dont do it in a crowd of people where shrapnel can fly out and hurt people.
>>695697328
I'm a preacher for a Christian church
I'm also an atheist
Last year I made $85,000 off these sheeple
Anyone can do it Christians throw money at anyone who spouts Bullshit it's great
I'm not really a criminal but that's my hustle
>>695702703
Your children will mold the earth
>>695697328
FEET THREAD GET IN HERE
>>695703575
>>695703986
because apparently one should seed torrents
>>695702512
There isn't any you faggot
>>695704482
kph or mph anon?
>>695704632
Lucky 5 times maybe - or maybe the truth is cops deal with niggers, rednecks and other savages all day long that when they come across actual civilized people they have no desire to fuck with them. Having an entitled or combative attitude will land your ass in cuffs, it's the truth dealwithit.jpg
>>695704009
Just wondering anon, where are you now in terms of "got my shit together"?
I rob people.
Not mug them but in changing rooms and shit I break open lockers and steal money from their wallets. I don't steal CCs as that can be traced.
I've been doing this since I was 11-12, I had a Russian friend that got me into it actually lmfao. What a legend, I miss him.
Almost got caught once when I was 13 and stole £120, but it was a school investigation and it was like 3 days from the end of the year, I was moving school anyway plus I got suspended for most of the investigation for something else.
I do have a good career in marketing but I do it for some expendable cash you know?
>>695697328
I kill strippers
>>695705297
lel its probably illegal
>>695700275
I don't, I only lurk /b/
>>695697328
we're all criminals.. average person breaks a low every 2 hours
the system is retarded
>>695704009
>burglarized
congrats at getting your shit together anon but please do some English ffs.
Doing the hustle
>>695697328
thief
>>695705115
wow mate im spanish I didnt understand a lot.
Here "customers" call and ask me for a certain quantity. For little bags, they tell me "10 euros", "20 euros", and then i put between 2gr-2,5gr /10€. I don't try to rip people, I tend to do the other thing, giving them more. That's why I'm so "Popular" and people come and come back.
What does 300 quid in tenners mean? That surpassed my knowledge.
>>695702703
ha ha.. i seen dat
>>695704530
dunno how you deciphered that, well done
>i live in usa
>uncle lives in mexico off disability from the usa (he was shot in the spine as a gangster)
>i am registered as his caretaker at a primary homecare company.
>1000 bucks a week.
>i send him 500 every month and i keep 500.
>>695705421
>implying 4chan doesn't scrub exif data anymore
Jesus, I know it's summer, but you faggots take being new to a whole other level.
I'm a pet assassin. Got a neighbour who's dog won't shut up? Got a cat that keeps shitting in your flower garden. Hate your neighbour want them to suffer. They call me. I charge between 500 to a thousand per pet. And let me tell you business is good.
>>695705653
No the poster of said comment. But it means 300 British pounds in ten pound notes. This guy is more then likely from the northern part of the UK which is basically inbred
>>695705562
yes i was charged with felonies and labeled as an arson.
everything expunged when i turned 18 though so its "kinda" like its not even on my record.
>>695703513
Olesa de Montserrat?
I used to live there.
>>695697717
You fucking savage
>>695702623
Just put in on a micro-SD card.
>>695705754
Dirty Mexican't
>>695705115
If a dealer did that to me i would tell him to go fuck himself.
>>695697328
I got v& and caught with CP but charges got dropped because the cops touched stuff that wasn't on warrant. Kek.
>>695700917
why is there a pube in your ket?
>>695701290
;o chris
>>695703796
Fucking summerfag
>>695700644
Cool story kid, now get back to school before you get in trouble
Over 9000 years ago this old fag mugged, robbed, identity theft, and battery, drive by shooting, illegal gun smuggled, drug trafficking, reckless endangerment, child endangerment, corruption of minors, assault on police officers, Contribution to the delinquency of a minor,
I've served 3 days in jail total for shit I've never done lol
>>695705891
This. But I think he's trying to imply quality over quantity.
>>695705827
HAHAHA man I remember you. You are the guy who rolls the joints with a cigarrete filter. I talked to you like 1 or 2 years ago, but Olesa de Montserrat got in my memory!!!
>>695700054
Huh, so, Miami 5-0 will taze some white dude with a knife, but shoot an unarmed black man (who was down on the ground with his hands in the air) in the leg? smh
http://ktla.com/2016/07/20/unarmed-therapist-shot-by-police-while-trying-to-calm-autistic-man/
>>695697328
Nothing in everyday life. But we fucking beat the shit out of a sandnigger when i served in afghanistan. he was suspected raping his daughter, but authorities didnt give a fuck, so we went to him when we were patrouling. We left him behind and i think he died.
>>695699769
What The Fuck Is Wrong With You!!!
>>695705886
i live off those 500 and food stamps from your government
lol.
>all i do is smoke weed and commit more crime
>>695705891
>>695706170
quality over quantity and also talking about living in projects and council housing and your main clients being from there.
>>695705115
>>695702238
Yeah look its little...
>>695701523
Nobody selling the blue stuff...
>>695697328
I order powdered modifinil and generic ritalin online and ginkgo suppliments.
Crush them up and put them in colorful empty supplier capsules. 150 mg size
Designed bottles as super brain supplements. Have them shipped from india, fill them. Then sell them online to Chinese people looking for a competitive business edge.
100 pill to a bottle. Cost me about 25 dollars a bottle produce, ship, and package. Sell bottles at about 250 dollars American.
I made about 90k last year on it.
playing minecraf without my mums permissins
>>695706442
And probably created some new terrorists in the process. Great job! GO TRUMP
>>695705800
>I'm a pet assassin.
>>695706306
well i make the chocolate joints with a cig filter, i dont think its that weird
>>695705813
Thanks bro
>>695706147
>standard gang activity
there are about 100k of you in L.A. right now
pretty boring, fam
