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trump's speechwriter here ama I was hired after shitposting

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 272
Thread images: 36
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trump's speechwriter here

ama

I was hired after shitposting on /pol/

after I realized they literally have NOBODY vetting people, I started getting ballsy. I started writing redundant sentences into speeches. I started putting secret references in them...

this time, I think they caught on...

I nearly copied word for word Michele Obama's 2008 DNC speech... and I snuck in a fucking Rickroll to top it off.

how fucked am I? they aren't talking to me...
>>
lulz
>>
>>695330793
Is this real life
>>
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Roll
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>>695331365
Rolling
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>>695330793
Link to the rickroll?
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>>695330793
all of my heart, I know that he will make a great and lasting difference," she said. "He Weill never give up and he will never, never let you down".
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>>695330793
Proof? Link to the speech that's a copy of MO 2008...
>>
We've all been had!
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>>695330793
http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/18/politics/melania-trump-speech-2016-rnc/
>>
>>695330793
Leave the country. You are now a dead man. Forget about the people you know and the name you built for yourself, all of that is now gone. For your own safety, relocate as far as you can. I hear the Jamaican Islands are really nice this time of the year.
>>
Tits or gtfo then, Melania.
>>
>>695331763
Kek nice
>>695331365
Roll
>>
Only option now is to post cawk. Don't be a faggot, OP. You're done for anyhow.
>>
>>695330793
Did you meet Melania? Do her nipples poke out of her dress?
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>>695331949
Hi Donnie, good luck rigging the system. ily
>>
>>695330793
Haha what?? Where is the roll? This is hilarious.
>>
>>695331365
roll
>>
>>695330793
post more proof OP.
Pics of fronrow at the RNC or some shit. Anyone could've made a badge like that.
>>
OP image been online since june.

disappointing because i had legitimate questions to ask.
>>
>>695332293
yes... she and her daughter are 11/10. The Donald is a fucking genius.

>>695332334
in the speech. "He will never, ever give up. And most importantly, he will never, ever let you down."

I'm a fucking artist, /b/ros.

PS... looking for a new job already. 99% sure I'm fired in the morning.
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>>695332685
also jesus you fucking retards replying to this thread learn to use google holy shit
>>
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>>695330793
sure you did
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>>695332726
why the fuck are you editing your name out if you're just going to get fired then
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>>695332660
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oops i dropped my google search
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>>695332947
so you spergs don't come to my fucking house, genius. not like The Donald is gonna tweet my name.
>>
I did look at the speech and Michele's speech. It matches up. Also you're a cheeky cunt leaving that rick roll there.
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>>695332726
and probably have a $10 million lawsuit against you.. because Trump
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>>695332726
>I'm a fucking artist /b/ros

Oh yes you are such a genius. This shit is fake as fuck
>>
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Why did you use a stock Drumpf press credentials photo? Oh right, cuz your a liberal cuck shill too mad that Bernie lost and too stupid to realize Melania is co-opting the media and dissing the Obama's at the same time by swiping that nigger cunts speech.
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>>695332685
>wanting to believe

wtf amireading etc
>>
>>695333125
>>695332947
>>695332685

didn't want to show you my real badge because they're really really obvious.
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>>695333659
You you'd rather edit an internet picture?
Fuck off.
>>
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screencappping just in case this is legit
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OP here

how about something only diehard people who know their shit will understand: my secret service lapel.
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>>695333905
plausible deniability, moron.

Eric walks over, "was this you, Anon?"

"No... that's clearly someone posting some made-up bullshit. Anyone could've compared the speeches. Come on."

checkmate.
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>>695333125
"Paid for Donald j. Trump"
What a ridiculous statement to write on the fucking acces cards. The fact that he needs to tell the world that he paid for a 2 dollar paperlap makes me doubt his financial position.
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>>695334068
secret service or hitler youth?
>>
how much were you paid to write the speech?
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>>695334068
Roll on this please
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>>695334068
Uhh this seems legit af actually

OP redeemed
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>>695334068
Timestamp motherfucker
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>>695330793
>>
>>695334068
>>695334807
It's about half the size.

OP is still a fag.
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lol stupid cuck nice job blurring the name off of a year old google image. fake shit
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>>695330793
What is a reverse image search. I can't take this gay ass roleplaying shit anymore, go back to fucking minecraft you fucking faggots.
>>
OP here.

You can all doubt me all you want... just wait for the one I have planned for The Donald and his kids.

(That is, if I'm not gone by the morning. I've got an early meeting with executive staff.)

There will be a call to put Muslim Americans onto "watch lists" to make sure they don't commit crimes. Mark my words. The speech starts with the word "Strength."
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>>695333414
Calm the fuck down. We know he's luring but trump still fucked up.
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>>695332726
how big are his daughter's tits? ever get a peak down blouse?
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>>695330793
what are some other secret references that people didn't catch before but may catch now? other speeches?
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>>695335636
Keep it up plz. I admire your work.
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>>695335636
Ill be waiting cocksucker
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>>695335636
Even if you're legit, who cares?

You're just fucking around. It won't change anything. Trump supporters would forgive him wiping his ass with the flag.
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>>695335755
Answer OP
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>>695335636
holy fuck its legit

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jul/19/melania-trump-speech-republican-national-convention

search for

He will never, ever give up. And most importantly, he will never, ever let you down.

and you'll find it

ahahhaah
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>>695335968

You assume I give a shit. This country is run by the illuminati. Nobody votes for either of these lunatics. When this is over, I go back to my house on 200 acres and nobody bothers me.

>>695335755
>>695335979

They're fake. I saw nipples a couple of weeks ago while she was sitting down and texting or something. Her bra was too big... they were just sort of "there" -- felt intentional almost.
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>>695330793
Hey OP, how are you?
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>>695334513
legally has to put those on the passes and on anything that has his "trump : make america great again " thingy.
learn a little about politics before posting.
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>>695336446
OP here. This.

We have to put "Paid for by..." and also mention if we printed in-house or not for both FEC rules and to appease unions. On basically anything we make for distribution or for the public. Especially with SuperPACs out there. It's to prevent dark money paying for stuff.
>>
>>695336671
in the speech PLEASE use parts of the navy seal copypasta

here are some examples:

"I will wipe them out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words."

"I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe them off the face of the continent."
>>
does ivanka wear see-through pants with a thong? ever catch some camel toe?
>>
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695330793
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
In all this thread only 1 person has requested a timestamp. Newfags pls go
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>>695336819
do this. Also, where did you learn how to write speeches? What school did you go to?
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>>695331343
Haha I am 12 XD
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>>695336819
Please
>>
>>695331365
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337156
Haha I am 12 XDD
>>
>>695331466
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695331612
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695331763
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695331764
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695331846
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695336819
I will try. There is a part about ISIS where I could slide this in easily.

>>695337115
I went to [major midwestern university] and majored in Political Science. I'm not really a "writer" -- I just know the theory of this and know how to write. Self-taught I suppose.
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>>695331898
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695331949
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332208
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695331898
>http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/18/politics/melania-trump-speech-2016-rnc/
damn, she's 46? Her days are numbered. She's about due to be traded in for a younger model, especially after this copied speech.
>>
>>695332283
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332289
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332293
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332304
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332334
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332474
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337421
OP you're totally gonna get shit canned tomorrow, you don't think they already know you're posting on /b/?
>>
>>695333177
very proud his wife gave the exact same speech Michelle Obama gave in 2008? What a stupid dick.
>>
>>695332660
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332685
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332726
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332912
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332923
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695332947
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695333006
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337735
go vote for Bernie oh wait...
>>
>>695333125
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695333177
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337735
Hey, anon?


Listen bro, we aren't laughing with you...
>>
>>695333189
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337421
Suppose you were a speechwriter for Clinton. How would you write speeches differently? What goes into a Trump speech versus a Clinton speech?

>>695337725
>implying they even know what /b/ is
>>
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>>695336384
>>695336819
oh my
10/10
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>>695333326
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695333404
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695333414
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337421
Like I said, plausible deniability. I could be some 19 year old girl from Sweden shitposting for all Eric knows. They're all dumbfucks who think it takes a genius to inherit millions.
>>
>>695333623
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695333659
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695333905
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695333997
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695334068
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695334380
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695334513
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695334610
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337725
Clinton has a team of writers. But I suppose it would be less aggressive. Trump's speeches are all about give/take and command/ask.

Example: "Look at France. We are better than France. France loses. We are winners."

It's fucking hilarious to write and have approved. I should have gone into comedy writing.
>>
>>695334641
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695334679
Roll haha I am only 12 XD
>>
>>695334807
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695335013
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695338683
MODS
>>
>>695335024
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695335255
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695335378
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695335576
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695338941
Haha I am 13 XD
>>
>>695335636
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695338207
/someone else
>How would you write speeches differently?
It's easy: Trump focuses on traditional values, uses mostly empty phrases that revolve arround pride, strength, and america. People aren't really intrested in the details, they just want someone to get shit done the american way.
Hillary focuses on more liberal ideas, equal rights for everyone and will often talk about *insert opressed minority*. The words she uses are less emotional which is why some perceive her as cold and distant.
>>
>>695335697
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695336395
I never once said you give a shit. I said who gives a shit you retard. You're the one starting some faggy ama.

It doesn't matter. You're not changing anything nor is it particularly funny. Make trump say something irreversibly stupid that people actually care about. Other than that, no one cares.
>>
>>695338735
Mods
>>
>>695335755
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695335838
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695335894
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695335902
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695338941
Haha, but what if I'm the belt XD
>>
>>695335968
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695336819
DO

THIS

Otherwise you're useless
>>
>>695335979
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695331343
No nothing is real
>>
>>695336384
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695335636

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

actually idgaf, i'm from Canada
>>
>>695336395
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695336438
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695336446
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695336671
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695338689
could you please just insert some fiction into one of his forceful statements, like,"If they hadn't bombed Pearl Harbor, the Germans would have taken over the world because the US never would have entered WWII."
>>
>>695336819
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695330793
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
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>>695337735
Exactly
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>>695336948
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
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>>695330793

Haha I am 12 XD

Now I go back to la reddit guys XD
>>
>>695337082
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337115
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339618

all slavs must hang
>>
>>695337174
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337421
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339577
Checked and kek'd
>>
>>695337501
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337725
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695337735
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695338053
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695338166
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695338207
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695331343
Is this just fantasy
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
>>
>>695338241
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695338358
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339983
Fag
>>
>>695338886
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340035
Underage fag
>>
>>695338941
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339661
u think one guy did this u retard. We all saw a shit thread and posted the same shit. its funny because its a bullshit thred u idiot
>>
>>695339039
Haha I am 14 XD
>>
>>695339118
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
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I'm not entirely sure if this thread getting spammed is just a coincidence or if this is just a form of damage control to stop this from going viral.
Maybe we should screencap this and give these posts to some shillary supporters...
>>
>>695339143
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339577
Zoop
>>
>>695339150
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339471
>>
>>695336819
>I will wipe them out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with *insert terrorism stuff here*? Think again, buddy. They better prepare for the storm, the maggots. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little things they call their lives. They’re dead, guys. We can be anywhere, anytime, and we can kill them in so many different ways. We are gonna be the best at killing terrorists. We are the most extensively-trained military in the world. I will have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe those miserable little things off the face of the continent. If only they could have known what unholy retribution their little “clever” plans were about to bring down upon them, maybe they would have stayed home. But they couldn’t, they didn’t, and now they'll pay the price, those idiots. They’re dead, kiddos.
>>
>>695339279
Haha Gary!
>>
>>695339286
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339324
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
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This seems more and more plausible
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>>695330793
>http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/18/politics/melania-trump-speech-2016-rnc/
Are you a god?
>>
>>695339360
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339118
Interesting.

So have you ever met Trump personally? Does he really believe in his own rhetoric or is he playing the public for political gain? I've read that his business is suffering because of what he's said in the past, and I wonder if he gives no fucks or he's saying that it was 'just politics'.
>>
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>>695340120
>u idiot
>bullshit thread
>>
>>695339523
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339577
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339618
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339661
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340463
Shut the fuck up
>>
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>>695339704
>Implying pic related is a Slav

He's a French-born German film and television actor playing the part of Obergefreiter Fritz Reiser from the movie Stalingrad (1993)... Funny enough he's jewish and played the part well of a Wehrmacht soldier.
>>
>>695339704
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339769
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339983
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339577
dubs
>>
>>695340035
Haha I am 12 XD
P.S. You're a fag.
>>
>>695340535
Shut your damn mouth child.
>inb4 perma ban
>>
>>695340107
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340120
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340396
As mentioned, i'm someone else, no i've never met trump before - i just occationally listen to political speeches and enjoy pointing out psychological means of manipulating the masses.
>>
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>>695340167
Haha I am 15 XD
>>
>>695340204
Haha I am 12 XD

I am just bumping XD
>>
>>695340298
Haha I am Gary! XD
>>
>>695330793
Why would you cover up your name if the only people who'd care would already know it?
>>
>>695340233
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
This is why you fags hate summer. Fags like >>695340851 are clogging 4chan with cancer
>>
>>695340277
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340291
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340971
Haha your comment is totally not shitposting! XD
>>
>>695340382
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340385
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695339143
Nothing I write hurts him. It's like he said, he could go shoot someone and his ratings would go up.
>>
People bitching Trump or one of his writers took some small notes to flatter the ape family running shit now.

Blacks didn't even have the concept of language before whites taught them, why is no one mad niggers took talking from us?
>>
>>695331365
Roll
>>
>>695340583
oh shit.
>>
>>695340396
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
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>>695341115
>>
>>695340416
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340542
Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695330793
See a psychiatrist, OP, really.
>>
>>695340561
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
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>>695341152
>blacks didn't have the concept of language before the whites taught them
>not sure if bait or retarded
>mfw
>>
>>695340583

relax, buddy. No need to ruin someones week..
>>
>>695340689
Haha I am dubs XD
>>
>>695340757
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340291
Obama is so bad with ISIS. When I'm president, we'll wipe them out. We'll wipe them out, let me tell you. With precision. It'll be tremendous. They think they can get away with bombing and sending their people here? Think again. ISIS better prepare for a storm. They're dead. Our military is so great. Can we give it up for the military? They can be anywhere, any time. Let me tell you, ISIS is going to pay the price.
>>
>>695340793
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340831
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340910
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340971
Haha I am 12 XD
XDDD it just a brank pro
>>
>>695341057
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695341353
Blacks are uplifted animals, biggest mistake whites ever made.

Before the Romans brought them fire and speech the blacks had nothing.
>>
>>695341143
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695341160
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
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>>
First off I'm OP, this guy isn't me:

>>695340793


Anyway...

>>695340396

Yes. I've met The Donald. He is doing this as a statement and for billions in free advertising. He doesn't want to be president. Once it gets into crunch time, we're going to basically sandbag it until he loses.

With the DNC going with Hillary and the emails leaking though... we're getting in over our heads. I wouldn't be surprised if they find out what I did and keep me around anyway.
>>
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OP mention Trump coin to the higher ups ;)
>>
>>695341172
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695340204
why would you want to help that cunt?
>>
>>695341221
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
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>>695341340
>>
What is the secret behind ''Haha I am 12 XD''?
Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z.
>>
>>695341353
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695341894
Damn
>>
>>695341382
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
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>>695339523
Op. If you aren't fired tomorrow I would like to see this blunder on national headlines
>>
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>>695341894
My parents are dead so fuck (You)
>>
>>695341493
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695341780
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695341900
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695341904
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
It's ridiculous to pretend a white can steal from a black.

More likely that Michelle somehow got her opposable thumb feet on a speech Trump has had ready for today since a decade ago.
>>
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Or just get him to mention cryptos in general
>>
>>695341949
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695342168
Time to sleep, it's past 3 am kid.
>>
>>695342001
Haha off by one XD
>>
>>695342017
Haha I am 1337 h4x0r XD
>>
>>695342023
Haha u r faggit XD
>>
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>>695341904
Because this is the first crypto currency that will surely never be heavily abused by people who started it?
Trumps name is on it, it must be trustworthy!
>>
>>695342066
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695342243
>>695342066

I will try. I don't have direct access to him, but his son, Eric, is my boss.
>>
Post with no Hi I'm 12 XD wins
>>
>>695342228
Kek
>>
Please insert this into his speech

I'M AMERICAN

SON OF A BITCH ISIS

ISIS IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A GOAT?

DO YOU WANT A HEAD?

ISIS IS PIG DISGUSTING

OSAMA BIN LADEN IS A MURDERER

FUCKING ISIS
>>
>>695342083
Haha I am 12 XD
>>
>>695342228
Haha I am 12 XD
Thread replies: 272
Thread images: 36


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