Why are you crying /b/? feels thread
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Why are you crying /b/?
feels thread
>>694273579
i drank too much
i decide to stop drink and to stop drugs
i no more friends today
>>694273720
i jusr smoke weed.... but i also on prescription meds
this one... hits me everytime
>>694274435
i smoke weed sometimes but its expensive. 2y ago when i started to stop, i spent like 500€/mointh in alcohol and drugs. i dunno how i did this, today i've lost my job, im poor and lonely. better take a shot again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ7W1NJkQvU
>>694275138
yeah it is expensive. i spend al my money on it. Even steal if i have to. just can't sleep nor eat without it
>>694275366
stop smoking is hard at the begining but its good to feel sain for a while. do that sometimes
>>694275581
i have. was clean for... 10 months? something like that. but after 3 suicide attempts i started again
>>694275861
woh ! keked
not funny i feel depress sometime and i really want to smoke or get really high. but never thought of suicide since i was kid
>>694273579
dumping
>>694277358
anyone lurking?
>>694277216
Feeling so sad right now
>>694277245
this is literally me last night at 1am but swap the snow for pokemon :(
Because I'm black
>>694274537
What a fucking toad. He fucks up his own life and then can't even kill himself properly, steals his father's car, DESTROYS it, while failing to kill himself, and probably hurting and destroying other people in the process as well.
>Entire story is about his feels
Fuck this guy. How can I feel sorry for someone that leaves nothing but a path of destruction? It's like some villain's sob story plot twist shit. Probably wrecked on purpose, not giving a fuck about anyone but himself.
>>694277443
Wow faggot
you want some dicks with that?
>>694277617
I was doing the same thing anon
Team mystic all the way
>>694277727
It's a feels thread cunt. Let him be.
>>694278181
This is really ceinge but whatever, I'm posting it
>>694273579
My backup drive with personal files became inaccessible today and I cannot fix it. I want to die.
Someone posted the camp sherwood comic and I was so happy
>>694278305
this is unbelievable level of cringe. It's like this guy has never talked to a girl before, lol.
>>694278324
what kind of drive is it? flash memory or magnetic media?
I frequently have conversations with myself on random boards.
I just.. I try to strike up conversation with random people because honestly it makes me feel less alone, less of the main support and more like part of an array of pillars; still holding a fuckload of stress and hurt and hate, but in a group.
Its the same amount of mental struggle, but the load feels spread out.
Having conversations about anything that comes to mind with anyone at all is the only way I feel any form of relief.
>collected porn for year
>best of the best
>hardrive dies
Why even live
>>694278697
It's a Seagate 3TB Desktop Expansion from 2012.
>>694278770
Probably nobody had ever heard of that album and just didn't reply because of that. I start threads all the time that 404 before anyone even sees them.
>>694278893
I had help from a guy earlier today who said those are known to randomly and critically fail at some point. My hopes are shot but I still hold on to that one glimmer that maybe Seagate knows what to do...
>>694278893
Your data is still there, waiting for you, then.
>>694278893
It really depends on what's failed, as far as how easy it will be to recover your data, but almost certainly your data is still intact on the drive.
>>694279067
>>694279163
I know, that's the glimmer. I had it hooked up to a Raspberry Pi for a webserver. The server can still see it too, just sitting there. So close.
I guess this is a feels thread then. Anyone wanna hear my super beta story?
>>694278969
Its his newest one released, two people replied after my reply shown was posted.
Is this because people pity me, or because theyre genuinely interested.
Depersonalisation, derealisation and bipolar is a mufuckin bitch. I can't even live with myself, just existing gets me depressed and suicidal
>>694279309
Go right ahead anon
>>694275073
fuck
>>694279352
Well, I'm sure you've heard it all before, so I'll spare you the well-meaning lecture about directing your thoughts in a direction you want and controlling your life and whatnot.
>>694277216
why
20 years ago dad died. Have been emotionally unstable for 2 months, crying at random. Guess it's all catching up to me.
I wasted all of my Pokeballs on a Pidgeot and it ran away
>>694279429
Thanks. I've recently been put on anti depressants that haven't been doing anything after a few weeks and been diagnosed with asperges or "Autism spectrum disorder" according to my uni counselor. I took a DASS test and was got a 21 for depression, 14 for anxiety I think and like 9 for stress. I confronted my doctor about asperges when I was told to by an anon on a feels thread a few months back. I wish I could find that anon again to thank him. Since I was a kid, I've always had trouble keeping friends. In primary school, I had 3 friends I could actually count on. 2 I would see outside of school every now and then. The entire rest of the grade hated everything about me. It got to the point where there was a bebo page (think myspace but edgier) titled "anon haters" and had about 50+ people from my grade in it. I didn't know until one of them told me. I ran towards the toilet and one of them followed me, asking why I was crying. I've always been really emotional.
cont. If you guys don't wanna hear it, please say so. I'd rather not spam shit no one cares about
my crush asked me advice with the girl he likes so i helped him, now theyre together
fuck
>>694279544
I have, and I wished they helped. God life would be easy if it did.
Ive been to the doctor and she just said "we don't recommend medication in this kind of situation"
I'm clearly fucked on an imbalance in brain chemicals somewhere. This shit doesn't happen outta nowhere
>be me
>have a grill for four years
>letshaveababy
>grill has baby
>grill baby does not look like me
>I'm a beaner and kid's nearly albino
>six weeks later grill takes shotgun and goes batshit
>post partum sucks
>grill stays with family now
>relationship is dead in the water
>took paternity test to confirm grill baby is mine
>i feel lost
>i feel alone
>i hold it together for grill baby
>regret four years
>i just drink and work and drink some more.
In my dreams, I almost always lose a loved one, be it friend or family. They don't necessarily die, they usually just don't want to be friends anymore.
It hurts a lot, also when I wake up. Cause it Feels so real, and reminds me of my real life.
And if it's not that, then I'm dreaming about the end of the world, like the weather going mental, tidal waves, comets etc.
For some weird reason, I can remember almost all my dreams.
And for some weird reason, I don't dream, if I go to bed high or drunk. Which I try to be as often as possible.
I hate my life. And I hate my dreams
>>694277951
screw you anon.....making me cry an shit...
>>694280008
Get to highschool. Only closest friend from primary school is with me. Got about 6 other people from my grade, too. Have trouble keeping friends. End up with just me and him. People in my new grade start hating me because they think I'm annoying. End up with the 1 friend and found 2 others. Fall to peer pressure and bully one of them out of the group. Fast forward 2 years. Made a bunch of friends. About 2 I can actually count on. Friends from primary no longer talk to me. Since I made my friends, they've been calling me by a different name. Not a nickname, a different name. They said I reminded them of someone from their primary school so they named me after him. That name's carried on until now. Those 2 people are the only ones from my school not calling me that. Bullied through all of highschool for being Middle eastern. Attacked and hit on multiple occasions.
Cont again. Sorry
>>694280008
Please cont.
I'm the one you replied to, this sounds almost EXACTLY like me, ASD and all.
I'm dealing with a mix of bipolar depression and manic episodes ATM, I don't know right from wrong, real from imaginary and everything is confusing...
>>694280523
See >>694280594
Don't be sorry, I want to hear it.
>>694280523
Can I get your first name?
I'm Dylan.
Sorry to be weird... I just want to be able to relate to someone.
>>694280886
I don't like giving out my irl name because no one remembers it.
>Middle eastern
Just call me Johnny. Thank you for letting me do this, Dylan.
i had a crush on this girl back in school when we were around 7. we ended up hanging out a lot and i'd give her little gifts now and then. she even said that she loved me at one point. after we broke up she would still tease me every month or so. she sat behind me on school trips too, and her friend even said that she wanted to have sex with me (we were both 9, i had no idea what it was). we slowly began to drift apart for good. i moved schools after but came back after half a year. we never spoke again until we left for high school. she went to another school for 3 years but came to my school later on. i had gained like 30 kg and was depressed. we were put in the same room to finish our assignments. she acted like she had never noticed me, but said that she still had the gifts i have her. i sat next to her in english because of seating plans. it was painful to hear her talk about her boyfriend sneaking into her room at nights
>>694280523
>>694280523
Fast forward to 10th grade. On Omegle. Go through asl after asl after bot. Find someone spamming song lyrics. Don't know the song lyrics. Starts talking. Start singing the pokemon theme song, alternating each line between us. End up talking on omegle for 2 hours. Add her on AIM. End up talking quite a bit. At this point, I've got some pretty bad trust issues. Sorry for backtracking. I had a friend I made on Maplestory when I was 12. Basically the only person who could make me happy. I was 12 in 8th grade I think. I'd come home and hop straight on the comp, hopefully she'll be on. It got to the point where we wouldn't even play the game, we'd literally sit in an isolated map with no enemies, just talking for hours. She started coming on less frequently and started disappearing for days to weeks to months at a time. When talking, she'd go quiet randomly, not move, and then log off after like 2 hours. Whenever she came back, she promised she'd stay. She never did. She said she loved me. I was only 14 and she toyed with my heart and disappeared. Imagine going from having basically no friends, to 1 friend who liked you for you because your internet and irl personas are different, to having an internet girlfriend, to having nothing.
Cont.
>>694280310
If you know they're dreams you can move past them. It's not real. It may be things going on in your life that need fixing. Here's my dreams story tl;dr
For years, every night, I die (all added up) thousands of times in my dreams. At first I was scared and concerned but I got used to dying. I tended to die in different ways at the start but patterns eventually begin to emerge. The answer was that my brain never really shuts down and is trying to make sense of it's limited sensory input and body paralysis. For example, when I drowned I had sleep apnea. When I burned I was too warm. When I got eaten or mauled, I was cutting off circulation due to weird body positions. Turned out it was a dietary problem. I cut a drink from my diet and I've been sleeping well ever since.
Until then I didn't believe in dream interpretation but this makes (scientific) sense to me. Hope this helps with your dreams, despite them being of a different nature.
>>694273579
>>694281283
Tell omegle friend about maplestory friend. She starts talking about how sick of a person MS friend is for toying with me and starts backing me up and trying to make me feel better. Genuinely the first person who was nice to me. Everyone else has always been nice with an exterior motive. Ever since I was a kid, literally have a memory from kindergarten, I'd always buy peoples' love. I'm a pretty simple person so money isn't really a huge interest for me when I have the relatively inexpensive things I have. I'd always put people ahead of me. So everyone else either stayed around me for the money or stayed around me because they liked when I made an ass of my self. Start talking daily. She'd never disappear and when she did, it would be for a day and she'd either give me a heads up or an explanation the next day. Something MS friend never did. Cont.
>>694277216
I still have the number of a friend who died years ago. I just can't delete it.
>>694273579
i'm still thinking about those beans
>>694280973
Thats fine, I was prepared for a hard to pronounce or remember name.
Thats okay, Johnny. I just don't want you to feel as alone as I do, if I can give you friendship even until the thread dies it will make me happy knowing I contributed to improving someone else's mood.
>>694281671
If you want to give me your skype or your steam, we could stay in touch. My steam's steve malloy. If you can't find that, try johnnybeefcake. If not, give me yours and I'll try adding you.
>>694273579
Because I can't have sex with my cousin
>>694281591
Start becoming really close friends. Start developing feelings for her because literally a stupid aspy who's never experienced any kind or loving gestures from friends other than her. Fall in love with her. Cut to a year later in the 11th grade. Remember being in software class. Remember exactly where I was sitting. Finally gather the balls to confess my feelings to her. Says she doesn't feel the same and hasn't for anyone. Soon (upcoming days/weeks) finds out she's aromantic. Think asexual without the sexual thoughts. Tries to comfort me yet. Continue talking daily, staying really really close friends. Still do to this day. Every day my love for her grows but I don't think she knows it. Fast forward 2 years. I'm in college because failed my highschool exams due to depression. Half way through the year, she tells me she agreed to date someone. Literally crushed me. Caused me to spiral into a depression that's continuing till now. Told her I got over it for her sake. Cont.
I feel like my subconscious is writing on this tread, I can relate to so many people on here
>>694280310
Read some things about lucid dreaming and try doing some reality checks sometimes
If you're aware you are dreaming you can influence what happens
>>694273579
>Use drugs as a form of escape
>girlfriend says to stop for a month
>decide to humor it
>slowly realizing how pathetic she is, and how much better I can do
>mfw I don't know if it's the fact that I'm sober or if it's the fact that I'm addicted to whatever I was doing and now it's amplifying my little quips about her
>>694282290
On the verge of killing myself. Start isolating myself from people. People half heartedly ask what's wrong. Every time I think about her, my mood plummets. Starts getting bad. Every time I see something reminding me of her, it triggers me. I know you guys hate that word but I don't wanna type "makes me feel like shit" 30 times over. Music that reminds me of her triggers me. Seeing her triggers me. Ended up deactivating facebook. Tell people I deactivated because I hate facebook, which is true, but there are bigger reasons. Start hating the idea of people using her. She's a really innocent, sweet person. Breaks up with person she was seeing because of reasons. Start hating the idea of anyone being with her. Start hating the idea of relationships. Start hating the idea of sex. Ironic because I'm a nympho pansexual. Sex triggers me. Funniest thought is thinking of someone wanting to kill themselves while jerking off because the girl has pony tails. Start hating myself and the atrocity I've become. Every day becomes harder to deal with myself.
Cont. Probably not much left
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaSVkb_XLt4
>>694281330
>>694282470
It's not so much the dreams. I used to love having all these dreams, when life was good.
But my dreams often remind me of how hollow my life is, and how it is slowly degrading day after day
Just got intimate with this qt, lucky me. Her pussy felt amazing.
However I've gotten really good in concealing my emotions and illness from her. Will I lose her love if I spill my guts to her revealing that i'm a mentally ill, depressed mess?
What should I do?
>>694282290
Life gets hard anon, its not fair and it never will be. You just have to push on and if you don't give up, maybe you'll make it to mid 40's with a nice family, salary and house
>>694283097
>>694283097
Your suffering is yours to bear.
You share it with no one, save for your closest male friend if you're lucky enough to have a good bro who understands. Trust me on this one breh.
"Normies" will never understand the transcendant suffering certain people feel.
-T dude who looks like chad thundercock but might as well be a character from a Dostoevsky novel.
>>694283097
If she's not a complete cunt it probably won't matter to her. Seriously, only a real bitch would leave after bearing yourself to them. In which case it probably wouldn't of been worth it if you care about her love.
>>694283011
Girl tells me she likes me in college. The first time someone's ever complimented me after years of the complete opposite. Literally the first time without them trying to comfort me. No idea wtf to do. Go full asperg mode. Tell her I like her too. Try getting to know each other (knew each other for like 4 days at this point). Realize she's a bitch. Break it off after a few days. Start ignoring her until she takes the hints. Vow to never let a girl into my life again. Nothing but trouble. I don't have a void that needs filling with a partner. The problem is that, although my omegle friend doesn't really have that void either, she wants a family one day. The thought of the person I love most in the world loving others over me really really hurts. I really hope I kill myself or pass away before I see that day. Basically all there is to my shitty story so far.
>>694283504
>>694283778
I can't stand the thought of losing her. She sees me as her strong, supportive boyfriend. What will happen to us if I reveal to her that I'm a complete mess?
I'm feeling suicidal, I need someone to talk to about it. Do you think I should to tell her?
I'm worried that breaking up with her might push me over the edge. But my death that will devastate her, I just want to keep her safe.
>>694282924
It's all of the above, dude. You are probably operating at a higher rpm now, depending on what drugs you were doing, so you will notice more of the shit that annoys you about her.
If you're using drugs to escape from different things in your life, then know that some aspects of her include some of those different things in your life which drugs helped you escape from.
>>694275073
Fucking sobbing
>>694283842
Youre still young.
Make the most of your existence. Find something that gives you happiness and do it.
>>694283850
holy fuck that pic
>>694283850
You ARE a strong and supportive man. She wouldn't recognize that in you if you didn't (at least) have that somewhere in your personality.
You have to conquer your self doubt. Without actualization, and the conquest of self doubt, you'll simply descend into self flaggelation.
Trust me on this. If you suffer in silence, soon the suffering will lose meaning, and after a while (be it days or years) the suffering falls away.
Do not ruin your relationship in a moment of temporary weakness. Do not break her image of you. A relationship requires such imagery to work.
>>694283850
If she really loves you then she'll care and want to help you dude. I imagine she wouldn't be that shallow.
>>694284396
>>694283504
Dude, shut the fuck up. You're just making it worse and will probably make him commit suicide faster.
>>694284685
I'm sorry, he can either come out the other fucking side stronger and able to succcede in life. Or he can mewl around, make himself look like a mewling idiot (because people who don't have depression and mental illnesses can't understand why you feel the way you do) and instantly lose the respect of people who obviously hold him in high regard .
It's shitty, it sucks, but it's the way the world fucking works.
What the fuck do you know about a situation like this?
>>694273579
>Be me
>Get dream job in Japan
>Feel like a new chapter in life has come
>Finally believe I'm helping people
>Get fired
>Find out it's all a scam anyways
>Start to regret the last 20 years
>20 years of constantly attempting helping others
>Almost break
>Come back
>Every time I say I quit I try again
>Keep trying
>Finally reach breaking point
>This is it, my friends
>>694282862
fuuuuck
Hello anon,
Today is my first day without opiates, last night wasn't too bad, I had read online about using bacloflen for opiate withdrawals and for rls and I can tell you that shit fucken works. You take 20 mg 4 times a day for 3 days and it helps keep the rls away, funny thing is I had just taken my final dose of painkillers and my gf got her bacloflen an hour later.
The only thing I'm scared of is that in 2 days I can pick up my new prescription and I don't want to.
>>694285143
What happened in Japan?
>>694285135
Because I've done shit like this before, it fucked me up more than it helped me for years, and literally the moment I reached out to others things got better.
>>694284165
The girl was a psychotherapy wouldn't leave the guy alone. He told all his friends to tell her he died and she believed it.
>>694285405
Well I'm truly glad you've had people who would listen to you.
I've had the exact opposite experience.
>>694285499
Psycho sorry autocorrect.
>>694284396
>>694285405
>>694285521
I am weak inside, I just perfected a way how to appear strong to others, both physically and emotionally.
It feels absolutely horrible not having anyone to talk to. I can't trust these normies with my feelings, they'll only ruin my life forever because they don't know how to 'help.'
>>694285135
You're right, Mewling around will ruin all of my hard work keeping up a friendly face.
I hate this world. I just want to love and be loved as myself, my true face. Is this too much to ask for?
>>694285816
Here's the deal bro.
She loves you, because even though you're suffering (and hiding it) she sees something in you she loves.
That means she loves you.
And you love her, don't you?
The suffering won't go away, but you may already have exactly what you're asking for.
>>694285816
Telling people IRL anything will just cause them to distort and twist it up like nothing else.
Trust yourself and 4Chan.
>>694281330
This is interesting. What drink did you cut? I die all the time in my dreams, 80% of the time it's a gunshot to the head. Wonder if my body is aware of something there.
Going on SO registry. I'm chill about it now. I've run out of tears, but I'm not happy.
>>694283842
Don't give up, Johnny.
>>694285295
>Get dream job in Japan
>Feel like a new chapter in life has come
>Get fired
>Get fired
>>694277216
fucking got to me
>>694282924
Drugs are often used in absence of a connection. Maybe you just don't have a connection with her?
Could also be your brain misses the drugs and is connecting no drugs with her. Or a combination of the two.
My gf started doing drugs when she met me, sometimes I worry her brain has connected the feeling of drugs with being with me. That without them she'd have lost interest years ago.
>>694285816
Good luck with the needless isolation and sadness you'll feel. You're just gonna make this worse for yourself man. Just tell her, and if she breaks up with you, she really wasn't worth it and would of probably turned out to be a bitch in the long run. Also go to therapy. It seems like you really need to take a look at yourself and try to rebuild.
>>Have dog named Oso (Bear in spanish)
>>Used to get bullied but dog would always cheer me up
>>Finally move out of old place where bully was
>>After a few years forget about the dog because life
>>highschool.jpg
>>Oso is old now
>>go outside one day and see Oso is extremely sick
>>Remember Oso made me happy so I play with him for a few hours
>>Go inside and close glass door
>>Puppydogeyes.gif
>>Mom says "Aww he looks so sad, close the blinds so I don't see him"
>>Dog dies
>>Mom tells me "I'm so sad he died"
>>MFW "your last words to him were "Aww he looks so sad, close the blinds so I don't see him"
>>Mom is solid and doesn't cry
>>Go home
>>Dream off Oso from bully days
>>Wake up regretting ever forgetting he was truly my best friend.
>>694285521
Sorry to hear about that
>>694286418
Thank you, anon.
>>694286154
Maybe you're right. They say the mask becomes a part of you if you wear it long enough.
But let's hope this bottled-up chronic depression won't push me over the edge. I've spent too many nights sneaking out, grabbing a bottle, and bawling my eyes out to nobody in the middle of nowhere.
>>694286835
I'm also considering this. But I sure hope the possible break-up won't end up in me killing myself. I heard break-ups really mess up with your head. Considering that I'm already messed up myself
>>694285521
Tell us about it anon. We're listening.
>>694274702
I didnt know this was a fucking ylyl
>>694275073
reminds me of this
>>694273579
https://youtu.be/Hi2Xhg5qpo0
>>694273579
No one in the entire world remember me. I am literal anonymous. I'm so lonely.
Have 1 best friend
he leaves every so often to different Country to be with his wife and newborn.
When he leaves I'm all alone I sit in my room waiting for a text or call from him.
Drugs use to help, trying not to take them because I have a 6 month old that needs me.
No job no motivation to do anything, I feel like I've failed at everything.
>>694287157
>"Aww he looks so sad,"
That hit me where my regret for not seeing my Father for two weeks before passing.
>>694287982
And thats bad, because...? Nigga, the majority of people are ants.
>>694273579
All I can really say is that I wish I could move, I wish I could take action.
But my thoughts and actions move so slow, to decide to get up off the couch and eat breakfast, because by now it's 11PM takes, well, the whole day. To gather the mental strength to go to the bathroom can take hours. I wait for the single moment in the day where I'm not nauseous with fear to drag myself to the grocery store.
I want to get a job, get a life, keep a clean house and live actively. But I can barely get out of bed.
>>694288468
are you morbidly obese to the point where you are the size of your bed
elaborate please
>>694288468
You need to get help.
Plus chek em
>>694282862
Fucking christ this hits me so hard for some reason
Keep this thread bumped up please.
/b/ has become a boring repetitive cesspool of porn, porn, and more porn.
I would've left this place long ago if it weren't for these feels threads. I love you guys.
>>694287727
Seek help, the longer you keep this bottled up, the worse it'll get. I've been in some horrible places because I've done it in the past and it's not something you should keep doing. I can argue so much, so I wish you luck on whatever you choose to do.
>>694288860
bump
>>694288660
Not at all, I don't think it's physical. It's the effect of years of depression most likely.
>>694288759
Got help in the past, was of little help. Mostly because my then girlfriend was the major factor in pushing me to get help, but it turned into session after session of my psych and my ex to change what bothered her, rather than what bothered me.
I've been trying to get back in but it's not easy. I can't travel very far and there's only two mental health institutions in this town, one I've been to before but the psychiatrist there was convinced he had to break me down to build me back up, which I found untenable combined with my suicidal tendencies.
The other is a clinic for addicts, for which I came in concerning my weed and alcohol abuse, and had a psych there too, but after my breakup, which was this March, I had too many no-shows and was deregistered, and now they won't take me back.
So I'm in a bit of trouble.
>>694288860
I couldn't read it all
>>694289208
I don't know if i'll be strong enough to continue on if she ever breaks up with me.
I have never experienced a breakup before. They tell me it will mess up with my head in horrible, painful ways beyond imagination. I'm afraid that pain and discord might make me to end my own life.
But if she stays, I'll be happy knowing that she accepts me just the way I am. That would be heavenly.
>>694290169
P.S. Also, What does a break-up feel like?
I live in one of the crappiest nations in the world.
Sometimes, I go on youtube and watch videos of major cities in first world nations. I like to imagine how it must be like to have a decent life.
I realise that most people on 4chan live in nice places, so I doubt if anyone else feels the same, but I just wanted to share.
>>694290436
Hard to say, Anon.
Some people take breakups between certain people very good, while taking others terribly so.
The last major breakup I had caused me to have her as my first and last thought every day for three days.
But I got over it. And I'm stronger for it.
I hope she keeps with you.
>>694290685
Where you at, anon
Although I have been able to finger moments of joy with the life, they do not outweigh the periods of darkness, which have been far too vast for 8 years. Even if I could live with content, or honestly be stable for more than 5 minutes, I don’t like acting happy. It’s fake, it’s a lie, a shiny veneer for the rotten world I was born into.
I much prefer the ride, the flux; the shift between emptiness and intense emotional suffering. The darkness I visit sheds light on the places the normative cannot. The emotional suffering is dichotomously experienced through both elation and sadness of manic depression. The pain is joyfully ridden in two of three states, either in the form of low or high. Euphoria is amazing, but painful, and not nearly as rewarding as the drop into depression. The third is this emptiness that carries a well crafted endearing composition, a soft smile, dry sarcasm and a technical response most of you recognize; it is this scary void that interacts best with this place. Everyone hates it when the mask is off. My life is more pain than not, and I’m tired of thinking I will ever be stable for long enough to have an everlasting relationship, it’s not fair to keep sucking people in and destroying them.
For those of you who weren’t born with manic depression, or suffered extreme trauma to put you in a cyclically horrendous and unstable state, imagine having your brain release incendiary neurochemicals into an emotional nervous system, if such a thing could exist or be imagined; it’s felt in the entire body and in the emotional core, an inarticulable hurt. Now, add the understanding of the subjective reality that is experience, this might be mildly close.
>>694290685
I live in SEA, not the worst place on earth but not really good either. Dunno about you, share it
>>694290956
India
>inb4 poo in loo
>>694290169
Break ups suck and they're shitty, but you can get over them. They're not an insurmountable obstacle. I've had two, I hated it, but got over them. You'll want to crawl in a hole at first, which is understandable, but if you wallow in it you'll never get out. You need to try to fight it and come out better. And that's if she breaks up with you. Like I said earlier, if you tell her, she might be understanding and supportive. The latter is more likely to happen. If she's shallow enough to break up with you because you have problems, then she truly is a bitch, and you shouldn't dwell on her because she wasn't worth it in the long run.
>>694290685
I know that feel Anon. Philippines here.
Especially the terrible lack of mental health services. The last shrink I've been to just gave me a bible verse and a 4-minute video on "Jesus's love." No therapy.
She's the only shrink available within a hundred miles.
I want to die.
I Haven't been happy in a long time. I'm sure my dog will die soon and i dont know how i'll manage when he does. I just want people around me to be happy, thats all i care about. Even you guys... Even the mean ones
>>694290436
Like There's a hole where your heart once was
>>694275073
>>694277951
>happy version of myself comes out of painting
>calls me a faggot and walks out the door
>>694290436
>>694291383
I'm gonna go, got shit to do, but I wish you the best in whatever happens.
>>694291383
>>694292191
>>694290868
Thanks brahs. I really needed that. Love you guys.
>>694291801
A permanent one I heard.
>>694275743
>>694293050
>>694291211
poo in loo
Anyway, how's the mental health industry there?
>>694275073
I was on the thread this was posted on ;~;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHQmDqlv5Rc
>>694277139
holy fuck
>>694293677
What were the replies of the other anons like?
>>694293248
kek
Not crying, just having a struggle this year.
i wouldnt even say its a bad year but it feels like its hitting me hard.
I constantly want to talk about what went wrong and how it sucks, but i feel like a broken record even to myself.
I'm having finding closure or something, I don't know. i keep talking about it and it helps al ittle bit but i dont feel... 'cured'. i dont feel like ive moved on.
>>694287763
i got the bumps
>>694293660
You will never have any problems with health care if you make a decent amount of money.
The country is a popular destination for medical tourism.
>>694275743
holy fuck i'm in tears
>>694274899
I always hate this shit. it boils down to
>if you're happy, than you are some ignorant sheep
these people never once consider that idea that they are the ones who have been lead astray.
Cause im allergic to gluten and ate a whole pizza today.
Crying and pooping.
>>694293522
sniper chick keeps her head down when she day dreams. Guy moves his when he does. The guy dies because his emotional reaction elicited a physical response.
The girl sniper is so emotionally dead that to reminisce causes no real reaction. Thus she survives. That's a hard lesson.
>>694277753
this is basically what im going through right now.
felt so close to being someones first choice. Then he got a girlfriend.
last week he insisted i move my birthday to an entirely different week so that he could have the entire weekend for what ever he planned for his gf. hes not taking her out of town or doing a weekend trip or anything.
just insisted i move the entire fucking week so that he'd have his options open for her.
>>694277833
this ones so fucking retarded.
life is not like a movie. you actually control your actions in life. you cant in a movie.
life is much more like writing a movie. You arent very good, but you can keep re drafting the scenarios til you get better and better. The studio wont let you do some of the things you want, but you can still make a great story.
>>694277875
'i always hate this one. hes so fucking cute id wife him in a minute.
>>694293610
tfw that's my life goal...
>>694278770
yep, thats me. i feel like the luigi.
'pick a day' i say.
'ill let you know' they respond.
five days later, they dont even remember.
I used to love these threads
>read some images
>read others problems
>Talk to them through it
>many times get thanked for at least listening
>often get thanked for even giving advice on how to deal with it.
but literally no one has ever responded to a post about my problems. i just gave up after a while.
>>694294764
Wrong post
>>694292246
Thanks for this. I've seen the same pic, but only with the first two men so many times. Didn't know there was a third.
>>694294002
What are the shrinks like there?
>>694292079
love this one. thanks anon
>>694295587
Same thing applies to shrinks too. If you have decent income, you will have access to good ones.
>>694292079
Delusion is an awful fix
>>694291671
Don't kys Bo
>>694286790
>Drugs are often used in absence of a connection.
>My gf started doing drugs when she met me
you see what's going on here, right?
>>694279784
Sad times anon
I have a series of pictures an anon kept posting after the mods took his posts down. Would anyone like to see someone so alone and unhinged?
>>694293522
i hate when girls question why i'm a virgin. they say "you're not ugly, and you have that cute shy personality" bitch that crippling shyness is the core reason i can't get any. ofcourse i don't actually respond that way, too shy.
>>694278770
Well that was some obscure stuff to talk about lol
>>694297477
sure
>>694297752
yep. but when thats what you like and no one ever wants to talk about it, it can get lonely.
>>694285295
>scam
>>694297953
I mean you have to like something that has some sort of a following you can talk about or find a forum for obscure music or whatever
Part 1 of ? Anons descent into madness.
1 of ? Anons descent into madness
Forgive if there are repeats in the pictures, they were being taken down rather fast.
Part 3 of Anons descent into madness
Part 4 Anons descent into madness
Part 5 Anons descent into madness
Part 6 Anons descent into madness
Part 7 Anons descent into madness
Part 8 Anons descent into madness
>>694298210
sure, but imagine for a second that this isnt some isolated event. imagine anon wasn't born five minutes before that and just happened to download those songs.
imagine for a second that you spend your whole life liking the wrong things. imagine going to the group of anime fans because they like anime and are supposed to be accepting of people, but they still ignore and/or mock you because you dont like the RIGHT anime. imagine if you will that this is his whole life. you go to five highschools, and even if you go to a group that is supposed to share your interests, yours are too obscure, or old or simply not what they like.
imagine that this was one final post after a million other moments in life. this isnt him being a brat cuz no one likes what he likes. this is him having his break down because he has never been able to discuss something that interests him.
Part 9 Anons descent into madness
Part 10 Anons descent into madness
The 11th and final part of Anons Descent into madness, Anons given up hope.
>>694274575
Kek
>>694298461
Them feels.
>>694298704
You think I'm in this thread because I have a social life and friends?
I just know it it possible to move past this crap, I am currently saving money to leave my hometown and go live in thailand for a while
go have an adventure faggot
>>694299136
i have plenty of adventures. went to the nude beach sunday, and the great horror campout, and dodgeball and parties. i do so much its tiring up.
all im doing is explaining something you missed. which you clearly did. faggot.
tried to bring my mom back... little brother died too
>>694299271
>nude beach sunday, and the great horror campout, and dodgeball and parties
wow dodgeball and parties what an adventure
>>694299487
>my adventures are better than your adventures
whatever makes you happy anon. was just explaining to you why the guy was sad. no need to be butt flustered
>>694299705
>>694283011
Dude i fucking get is so bad.. im drunk now hearing sufjan stevens and alone at my house.. no one here and no one coming for at least a week.. i finaly got over a girl i loved after 3 years of being hooked on some stupid feeling that we could be together.. i feel so stupid and lonely.. and i realy want to smoke.. no matter how much i try i cant fucking get my life together.. for more reasons then just a stupid fucking girl.. fucking hell.
>>694299553
Well to be fair I havent actually been on it yet maybe Ill feel just like you after
>>694300253
what?
>>694273579
my girlfriend is in italy for a week
>>694300817
