ITT: we're in the office
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: we're in the office
>implying i have work
*answer phone*
>>691939132
*goes to the toilet and scratches ballsack for 2 hours*
>>691939132
*eats Karens special lunch*
Any updates on the Anderson account? Johnsons been breathing down my neck all week.
Uhm guys, why is there a N-I-G-N-O-G sitting at my desk?
>>691939132
Larry, can you give form 3 and a stapler?
I just thought i staple this fuckers papers all together with form 3 on top.
who the fuck took my stapler
>fapping
The new intern is here, Susan can you look after him please? I have a report to finish for tomorrow. However please try not to repeat last times incident.
I'm dirty dan
>>691939569
i think Johnson took it into the restroom
WHO THE FUCK DRANK MY MOUNTAIN DEW?! I SWEAR TO GOD KAREN IF IT WAS YOU I WILL COME DOWN ON YOUR PATHETIC LIFE LIKE THE HAMMER OF THOR
>opens up lunch brought from home
>smells of tuna and cheeze whiz engulf a 30ft radius from my workspace
>smacks lips
>farts and laughs about it.
>fat guy noises.
>>691939683
fucking Johnson
he reads the paper in the restroom for an hour then staples it together and leaves behind - every fucking time
>>691939766
i was DEHYDRATED DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, HOW IT FEELS JOHNSON. NO OF COURSE YOU DONT YOU PRIVILEGED FAT FUCK
>>691939569
look into the jelly
>>691939805
>>691939683
someone needs to do something about Johnson
is HR around??
who the fuck is downloading this dog pictures on my desk every fucking time when im going to toilet!? im gonna report this, you little fuckers
*sending passive aggressive email*
why the fuck half of you guys sit bottomless on the copy machines?
>>691939805
son of a bitch took my morning paper yesterday clean off my desk. said once and il say it again, i aint ever trust no black man with ny newspaper
>>691939934
I am
Sorry Miguel, I didn't know that was the janitorial department's desk
hahahaha, who placed this really really funny image on the bulletin board?
WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY LUNCH? I FUCKING LABEL IT! WAS IT YOU JIM?!
>>691939875
THIS IS WHY YOUR HUSBAND LEFT YOUR BITCH ASS. CANT EVEN KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY KNOCK OFF MOUNTAIN DEW YOU WHORE
>>691939958
what are you talking about, we don't hire negros
>deadpans
>>691940120
probably that bitch Karen. Damm succubus took my mountain dew
>from mamagers office
"Heyyyy congrats Johnson, youre gonna be joining me up here as part of the management team starting friday! Go ahead and start moving your belongings to your new desk!"
Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays
emails IT: why is /b/ blocked on my pc?
>>691940228
That whore. She's probably the one who stole my lemons too, lemon-stealing whore
why do all my fucking pencils always smell like ass
Bob have you been massaging your prostate with my pencils again?
>>691940290
anon, why don't you have a seat
>>691940269
>typing up email to allies in the office
>"Can you believe this... I'm going to resign"
>"Also nice 69"
>>691940063
who the fuck keeps eating my special lunch?
you know I'm on a strict diet guys
I WROTE MY NAME ON IT FFS
>>691940337
caught that bitch sucking off lemons in the janitors office the other day. that whore is ruining this office
>>691940373
I saw him doing it, all the other guys too. I didn't do it because i don't want Johnsons aids in my ass
oh.. didnt know youre still "working"..
>>691940493
We should gangbang her. She wouldn't stand a chance
Hey Dwight. Battle start Galactica
>>691940094
A dead man
>>691940548
Working hard or hardly working HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHDHSAKJFFSDFJKDVJKHVB ,MCVKJHKJV BNHFDSGIKJÖHSLTGIDOÖU53HE896Y54THK
>>691940269
wait a min Johnson is getting promoted? ive been working my ass off meanwhile he keeps scratching his ass with Garyd pencils and sucking lemon juice off Karens taint!
>>691940481
Anyone caught stealing lunches should be beaten to death in the parking lot.
...Now let's talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK? "Pepe Silvia," this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, "I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise, he's never going to get it and he's going to keep coming back down here." So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, "Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper." There's no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe! All right. So I start marchin' my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, "Carol! Carol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe." And when I open the door what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office! There...is...no...Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.
>"Attention all fellow employees, today is Phil's birthday. Everyone needs to chip in a food for the party and we will be passing around a card for everyone to sign before clock out today. Please email me back with what foods or snacks you will be bringing to the party so i can finish the plans. Thank you and have a great day"
>sent to all contacts
>>691940623
Did you go to reno and shoot him just to see him die?
How do I delete my interweb history?
Cowboy Curtis?
Why is there a van in front of our office?
>>691940633
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH F9QH9HFQHAGIPAIGHFAGH9IAHGSODGHAISHGASHGGASGAGASG
>has stroke at desk
>>691940674
What the fuck i thought Phil offed himself? Not only are you telling me that cunt is alive but i gotta buy his ass a bjrthday cake?!
>>691940641
well it wasn't me, I never ate no one lunch
>>691940716
larry from IT said to just go on local disk c: and delete system 32
>>691940674
I'm bringing cheese pizza
>>691940637
i feel the same way
psst
don't come in tomorrow
>>691940831
Wow, thanks bud!
>>691940750
OHFUCKOHFUCKSHITSHITSHIT
>grabs hardrive and starts running out the office
YOU FUCKER WILL NEVER GET ME ALIVE
>>691940775
Yeah didn't he hang himself in the executive bathroom?
>>691940750
theres a child care on the first floor
>>691940750
it's for Phil's party obviously
see>>691940674
yo Johnson, you're a fine dude, don't go to work tomorrow
>>691940750
WHERE IS THE CP???
MICROWAVE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
ok whos the asshole who taped my wifes nudes on the mens restroom door?!
>>691940949
Fuck you, I just got a promotion
>>691941008
have it your way
>>691941003
That's me. The will also be sent to the whole office
Hey guys. My daughter is in the band at her school, and they're doing this fund raising thing to help them pay for a trip to be in the rose bowl parade. Well anyway, long story short, she's selling cheese and sausages and stuff. I have a catalog if you'd like to look over it and place an order. This stuff tastes really good, honest. They did it last year, too, and I bought some.
>>691940923
i heard he jumped off the boss mans 10th story floor head first
>>691941048
Thanks man. You going to Phils birthday party tomorrow?
>>691940674
>>691940775
>>691940834
>>691940937
>Email to all contacts
>I apologize for the recent email, it has come to my attention that Phil passed away recently. He would found in the executive bathroom dead from auto erotic asphyxiation. The birthday party this evening will instead be a wake in memory of phil, i ask you all to still bring a food or snack and we will still be signing the card we purchased for his party this afternoon.
>>691941103
yeah, it's going to be a blast
>>691941056
Can I have your sausage instead?
>>691941056
ive met your daughter David. you woulda had a better chance asking for a bj from me than to give that little hell bitch money
>>691941056
I can give HER a sausage
>>691941061
Nah wait he fell off a guard tower in Auschwitz
Fucking hell IT. Still haven't fixed the goddamn computer bugs?
HOLY SHIT GUYS
theres this chick
tied up in the janitors closet
she's giving out blowjobs for lemons
HOLY SHIT
get in there guys!
shit was cash!!
>look at clock
>look at desk
>teso servers still down
>throw stapler in rage
>it bounces right into Karen's face. nosebleeding
>try to comfort her
"ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY, KAREN!?"
>>691940748
What is it Ted?
>>691941135
>>691940923
you hearing this? now i gotta tell the wife ima be late for diner cause Phil decided he wanted to be a pussy? even from the grave the old man is still fucking my shit
>>691941263
been wondering where Karen was!
>>691941158
You bringing any alcohol? I'm thinking about taking som booze with me
I sucked Karen's dick once
Goddammit, I just found these in the bathroom, We're having a drug test tomorrow
Who's the asshole that has been bogging down our servers with something called
"SweetTeenShitholes6"
There is at least 20TBs worth of porn saved to the servers...
who is responsible?
>>691939132
Will you fucking faggots quit hogging the bandwith with your porn downloading? That's it, I'm putting a limit on bandwith usage per user.
>>691941419
I'll bring shots
>>691941160
Daniel, that's highly inappropriate. You know, I don't care for the double standard around here. You're openly gay, and we're not even allowed to say anything about it, but you can say whatever you want, because nobody will fire a gay. That's just not right.
Yo guys boss man is gone for the day and Karen is tied up in the closet. I got Paul Blart mall cop on blue ray, conference room, 5 mins, lets go!
>>691941389
>>691941323
She's nosebleeding faggot
No bj from her ar the moment
But shes also vaginableeding
> nice lube
Vagina job from her Go Go
>>691941461
cool what drugs are we testing?
>>691941508
>>691941514
>hive mind
>my nigga
>>691941534
You know what, shut your fucking mouth, Alan.
>>691941608
You're a funny man, if you don't show up tomorrow, this day will be your last
>>691939132
Jesus Christ Fred destroyed the men's room again. It smells like death and, there is a squirt of shit on the back of the seat ; up the wall about 4 inches.
>>691940750
I can't believe you guys remembered my birthday!
>>691941514
fuck HR twenty bucks and il get you into corporates gigabit network
>>691940704
You'll end up in Folsom prison with that attitude
god dammit brett what have i told you
this is how you get ants
>>691941777
holy shit phil is that you?
we all thought you were dead man
>>691941777
Phil?! son of a bitch we thought you died you old bastard!
>>691941329
If the building goes less that 50mps it'll blow up
>>691940290
& Why aren't you IT?
>>691941697
That's it James. I'm filing a grievance against you and your aggressive, foul language!
I think we have a... mistake.. in our system
KAREN FOR GODS SAKE WILL YOU EVER DO YOU FUCKING JOB
Yeah it's Phil. Fred however has died in the men's room.
>>691941547
>I got Paul Blart mall cop on blue ray, conference room, 5 mins, lets go!
"Be with you in a minute!" *cinches noose*
I'm coming Phil...
Why is there a plane flying right towards us???
>>691941933
oh lighten up Alan, James just found out Johnson was the one plowing his wife
Why does the plane fly so close to our offfice?
>>691941933
Not if I file a complaint against you for sexual harassment first, you prick!
>>691942034
>>691941997
hivemind
>>691941997
don't worry we will be fine
plane wings can't crash into dank memes
>>691942017
Well that's no excuse to act like a wild ape. You wouldn't catch ANY of us in accounting being so disrespectful.
>>691942034
Is it just me or is the building beside us on fire?
Guys i need a lil help
the printer has a paper jam
also my balls are stuck in the printer
>>691942107
They're testing emergency landings over at the airport in Davenport. I knew you were stupid Jake but cmon. You autist
>>691942188
Jump, jump, jump !
>>691942188
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams anyway
>>691942176
you serious? i caught you trying to suck your own dick in the mens bathroom last saturday!
>>691942231
Someone get Karen to help bill get his junk off the printer
>>691942231
for christs sake SOMEONE HELP WILLIAMS GET HIS BALLS OUT OF THE PRINTER AGAIN
>>691942334
Now see here. That's an outright falsehood!!
>>691942231
for fucks sakes wheres that whore Karen when you need her?
>>691942413
We all know it's true, liar!
>>691940579
Sounds like a plan lads. Shotgun the poohole.
>>691941861
I was on paid leave for medical reasons, someone called me a faggot in cs:go and I went into a depressive state. In the span of 4 months I attempted suicide 3 times, thankfully I got the help I needed and it's all better now. So... what did ya get me?
>>691942413
theres a vid being sent around of you dressed up as a cat and licking yourself clean!
>>691942550
i call dibs on the back of her knee. bitches love to get fucked behind the knee
>>691941517
Free for gays?
Hey fellas the boss is sending me on a burrito run. Does anyone want anything?
>>691942578
.44mag so you can do it right this time
jesus christ WHO LEFT KAREN IN THE CLOSET COVERED IN LEMON JUICE AND SEMEN AGAIN?
>>691942596
That's it. I'm going to take that accounting job I was offered by Lowe, Peterson, and McMillan. You are all children, and I can't take this hostility!
>>691942787
I didn't leave her there. Last time i saw her she was being throatfucked by Johnson
>>691942740
il take a carne asada and cheese burrito with a mountain dew. Oh and tell that fatass cook Julio i want my 20$
>>691942838
Bye, asswipe!
Who put these underwear in my desk?
>>691942863
dont lie to me Ron, you know damm well Johnson is running with Corporate upstate now!
Hey guys I just started here can you tell me where the break room is?
>>691942872
A carne what?
>>691941910
Well then, I suggest we party on, break point, and see just how deep this corn hole goes.
>>691942838
I CALL DIBS ON HIS CHAIR MUTHAFUCKERS
>"h-hi guy"
>"want some gu-gu-gum maybe?"
>"sure? I have loads of them"
>"alright, just come past my desk if you ever need me"
>"yeah I only have double mint"
>"oh.. o-okay"
>"y-you too"
guise, somebody call IT, i forgot my facebook password
>>691943013
i think thats bean speak for steak
>>691943010
Yeah, follow me sweety ;)
>>691943008
Well he wanted some of that sweet teen pussy, can't blame him. I had a go at her myself
>>691943084
you sure it isnt milfhunter420 like your email password?
>>691942872
Greg we've been over this a hundred times, he says he doesn't owe you any money
>>691943052
Yo you got some gum?
>>691939550
Your new co-worker, you're gonna have to share a your desk with him
>>691943010
It's a on the roof, by the pool.
If you need an elevator pass, I can sell you one for $20.
>>691943052
fuck off Dave
>>691943157
hes a liar that beaner! i won that hand ball game fair and square! fucker wont pay up! ask Johnson he saw it!
>>691943100
Whoooooosh
>>691943146
shit, thanks Stevens, coke's on me today
>>691943052
doublemint-dave, youre in our office now?
>>691943163
>Reported for harassment
Fucking fax machine never fucking works, fuck this office, fucking shit job, fucking ex wife and a pension. Im gonna burn this office to the ground...
>>691939569
It was probably Jim. Have you checked your desk drawer? It's likely stuffed in jello
>>691943304
you're a big guy
>>691943163
Sorry nig nog, I only have credit cards
RUN, NIGGERS! HIDE THE DRUGS, MR. BOSS IS COMING!
>>691943251
>>691943281
I'll ju-just go guys, have to go pick up my son from school anyway"
anyone want some gum though before I go?
>>691943163 not you though
The fucking photocopier is broken again! Anderson, stop plopping your fat ass on it to make copies of it!
>>691943100
>>691943275
Can i join in on some? I'll bring a couple of tabs of lsd
>>691943304
relax Jerry, eat a snickers........... better?
>>691943002
So that's where my laundry went
>Leaves yellow sticky note on the break room refrigerator.
>"To whomever has been taking my McDonald's crispy chicken salad every day for the past week, I hope you've enjoyed the personal special seasoning I've been adding to it just for you.
>>691943244
Oh, I didn't bring any money but I have a ham and cheese sandwich you can have.
>>691942413
I just checked the security feed for last Saturday and it clearly showed you entering the bathroom just after 2pm, Alan. If you don't give James and I at least a handjob, I'm taking the footage straight to HR.
>>691943354
Fuck you Dave, I was just trying to be nice
From the boss: I DECLAAAAARE.... BAAANKRUPSY!!!!!!
>>691943304
Woah, I'm calling the cops.
>>691943002
sniff sniff, that's Karens
>>691943384
>>691943275
lets go to the janitors closet and do all the drugs. i heard Karen stashed Mountain dew and lemons in there
somebody smeared shit all over the elevator
>>691943422
That's OK, give me the ham on white, but hold the manaise
shitters clogged
>>691943453
I've waited for this moment for years
>emails 500 links to cp to everyone in the office
i wonder whats happing in the left tower
>>691943101
Alright you start going and I'll catch up with you in a second.
>>691943384
sure man, got a lot of fish fin here and we need to get rid of it
>>691943447
Y-you too
WHO OF YOU BASTARDS ATE MY CHICKEN SANDWICH
>>691940831
Dave just did that and now his computer isn't working at all, send Larry down
>>691943490
Sick, I got the keys there. If she's still in there we could fuck her too
>>691943517
i bet it was Lawanda, that disgusting bitch and her scat fetish
>>691943537
You can hold my mayonnaise any day, big boy... *wink*
Hey who wants to take the shitty photo copier out to a grassy field and beat the shit out of it with a baseball bat while die motherfucker plays in the background?
Anderson, you got those reports ive been asking for or you still playing CS GO
>>691943453
OUR LOSSESS ARE OVER 9 BILLLLIIOOONNNNNN!!!
>>691943262
Okay I asked Johnson and he said you were all drunk and you weren't even playing hand ball you were playing checkers
>>691943586
HAHA, loser
>>691943586
Uhmmmmm....KAREN! She did!
ah shit ceo is here work everyone!
Why is there crumbs all over the place? Do you people want ants? Because this is how you get ants!
>>691943641
He's looking for another photocopier...or I'll murder him, sir.
>>691943586
You know i steal all the sandwiches so don't bring any into the office you dense fucker
>>691943537
Extra mayo right?
>>691943653
ahh well that would explain why i still had ny pants on after the game!
>>691943018
Did you say cornflakes?
>>691943666
great, satan is stealing food, cancel all my meetings, i need to go fetch Jesus, he must be drinking wine with some bitches downstairs
>>691943648
>doesn't get the joke
I'm not superstitious but I am a little stitious
>>691943579
Can I have a fucking piece of gum?!
Hey guys there's some sort of fight club happening in the basement after work on Tuesdays. I was late so I missed the first few rules, but all I can say is fight club is awesome and I definitely recommend fight club
>>691941748
I swear to god Steve, if you sack me I'll rape your wife.
so it took me all weekend but i think i figured out the new ad campaign
what do you guys think of
"Got apples?"
>>691943780
You're browsing /b/ at work. The only super you are is super-retarded
i wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them
>>691943817
B-Bro... the first rule is...don't talk about it... you're gonna get rekt now...
MEGA DEEEESK
Hello Im new Here My name is jerry
>>691943586
Hey man don't even sweat it the intern is going for burritos
>>691939132
>ITT: we're in the office
Hey jacob, watch this!
*heats up spoon with ducttape-wrapped handle*
>>691943052
Why don't you head out to the store and buy us some strawberry gum and while you're at it a pack of cigs to, thanks man that's really a cool thing to do!
Alright boys, im the new boss. First off theres gonna be some changes around here. Johnson has been demoted to janitor since he got caught with all that blow in his car. Karen is now regional manager so shes in charge. Also Phil may or may not be dead. Keep a look out, he may be a zombie. Cant be to careful. Lets get to work!
>>691943785
You can have some of my special gum
>>691943849
*unsheathes katana*
*teleports behind you*
Nothing personal kid
Hey who put my stuff in Jello? MICHAEL!
>>691943881
ARE YOU INSANE BOLOWICZ? WE ARE GONNA GET IN TROUBLEEEEEEEEEE, YOU FUCKING JEW
>>691943952
What about Anderson? Give that lay bastard something to do...other than photocopying his fat ass...
>>691943920
FUCK BURRITOS, I WANT MY CHICKEN
>>691943976
Fucking give me it and twenty dollars you piece of shit
i quit
im gonna start my own firm
Meme, Pepe, an Hero
>>691943629
yeah remember when she took a fat shit on Doug's keyboard during lunch?
>>691944017
>goyims
WTF DID YOU GUYS SEE LARRY TELEPORT BEHIND STEVE AND CHOP HIS SHIT UP WITH A SAMURAI SWORD?!
The lack of The Office references in this thread is terrifying
>>691939132
>user has left their workstation open despite a policy clearly communicating the need to lock stations
>cmd
>ipconfig /release
see if you can netflix at work now jennifer, you whore
>>691943937
Do you have an-any money fo
Oh-oh okay you can pay me back whenever
HAY GUYS IM NEW HERE XD LOL~~~~!!
>>691944048
Do you want workplace murder
Because this is how you get workplace murder
>>691944078
i saw her entering the men's bathroom with some ziplock bags... weird shit
>>691944160
I got a gun in my desk and another one in my pocket. Your choice wether to give me the shit or not
>>691944048
i have some shiva's for half the price, mexican quality
>>691943766
When we drop below 50mps in 30 seconds I'll blow this building up and be home in time for cornflakes!
After all I did for her, I hope Karen will want to go on a date with me. She's such a nice girl ! Not like these sluts. I wonder why she doesn't return my calls. She ´s probably working ?
>>691944239
Do i look like a man who is afraid of dying m8
>>691944087
thats what she said
Don't mind me im just the janitor
>does janitor things
>shit in unused, secluded drawer, it's phil's
>uses pencils to press against prostate
>tie up karen in my closet, keep that lemon whore out of my way.
>mix some ajax bleach and windex with ammonia in a bucket
>wheel bucket around the office mopping the windows and floors with the mixture
>whistling
Gets the windows crystal clear
>>691944285
wrong, sucking dicks on floor 4
>>691944094
>the new guy won't stop streaming shitty grindcore on Pandora
>taskkill /s mkt123 /im firefox.exe /f
"HEY WHAT THE FUCK FIREFOX STOPPED WORKING."
I just keep doing it and it just keeps being amusing.
>>691943817
Lol
>>691943984
*backflips over Steve's head*
*roundhouse kick to the back of the head knocking him out*
*Steve falls on his katana, killing himself*
Nice move steve, I'll have fun impregnating your wife in around 20 minutes.
*grabs coat off chair and exits the office*
>>691944294
Get out of here Toby, you are the worst
>>691944290
Fine I'll fucking shoot this shit up then
>>691944285
just saw Karen, shes getting spit roasted by Anderson and the IT guy right now
>>691944327
man, Lawanda Jackson smeared shit all over the elevator, go get her Juan
>>691944363
hang on let me get my gun and join you
Who the fuck deleted Minecraft off my computer?
>>691944285
Ya hate to brake it to you man but she's eating dick to get to the top, sorry...But speaking of eating I'm getting burritos do you want anything?
guys is Jerry holding up a gun in the office right now? Wait why is he pointing it at us?! WTF!
>>691944335
"Hey, Mr. I.T., do you fix computers on the side?"
yeah what do you need
"My ex boyfriend changed the password to my old laptop a year ago, I haven't needed it but I want to give it to my mom. Can you fix it?"
yeah sure give it here, do you need anything off of it, pictures or anything like that?
"N-no, no pictures, I just need it unlocked."
>N-no
all i need to hear to know this chesty bitch got a billion nudes on this thing
>>691944401
ayy lmao
CAN WE ALL JUST GET BACK TO FUCKING WORK!?
I NEED PICTURES!
PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN!
>>691944428
steve did, he microwaved your harddrive when the party van was here
>>691939132
yeah... Hi Peter....I'm gonna have to go ahead and get you to come in on Saturday.
>>691944428
i think Larry the IT guy said something like "minecraft is for white children and low income black individuals" and then deleted that shit yo
>>691944505
>implying you can do anything but update adobe acrobat
>>691944377
No way dude. I'm trying to stop the crazy exploding watch guy before he kills everyone's dogs.
>>691944546
نحن ستعمل قنبلة في مبنى أسفل، ويموت الكفار الخاطئة!
*beep* *beep* *beep*
>>691944505
>Linux Mint Live Image
>dig into c:\windows and rename utilman.exe to CMD.exe
>reboot into Windows
>create Admin account and reset passwords
>desktop
>background is her cupping her tits
j a c k p o t
>>691944550
>>691944588
Larry and Steve can go suck some dicks
>>691944656
WHOSE SPEAKING ALLUH AKKBAR IN NY OFFICE! JOHNSON FIND OUT WHO THE TERRORIST IS
did someone say Jerry! no OK ill go back to making coffee to dump off the side of the building
>>691944730
so youre the asshole whos been spilling coffee on my car!
>>691939524
Sorry Brian I'm half way through the final draft, should have it to you by 4 o'clock.
>>691944621
I can also install Google Ultron
>>691944661
>folder titled "Selfieeees"
>mostly innocent
>BAM, titties and ass
>couple stripping videos
and that's how I saw a coworker's nudes. reinstalled Windows and handed it back to her. she thinks I'm such a sweet guy.
did the same thing to my cousin because I'm a fucking degenerate.
>>691944546
>>691944780
no, it was Lawanda... and it was not coffee
g..gg.. guys.... Karen isnt moving....
>>691944780
no that's just a bird with a colon problem
*installs gentoo on all pcs*
>>691944656
CALL THE CYBERPOLICE
>>691944780
I've been finally caught time to start step 2
>>691944852
OUT OF THE WAY!!!
that's my fetish
>>691944852
Just punch her in her stomach, I bet she's faking it
whaddup bitch, im new here. my name is DeShawn Johnson.
>>691944883
Heloooo, dis is microserft tech suppooot!
i saw u get dangerous virus from cyberhackers on all your compiutahs
>>691944934
We don't allow your kind here..
>>691944852
Quick! Draw a dick on her forehead!!
>>691942684
not Karen though... remember? She was in that freak accident last year where she lost both legs from the mid thigh down. What happened again exactly?
>>691944830
>routinely violate the privacy of the users under the flimsy pretext that I'm taking preemptive action to detect malicious software
>this basically means I scour through their Documents and shit looking for anything interesting
>and then there's fucking Dan
>Dan keeps a text file on his desktop that he appends with new entries every week
>it's possibly the most thoughtful journal I've ever read, he's had a hard life
>but then he goes and casually mentions drowning a puppy
>"It kicked a little, but only a little, and only for a few minutes."
okay fuck that I will be goddamned before this crazy fuck goes Patrick Bateman on another animal
>>691944294
So you guys want to transition from paper to meth?
>>691945092
stfu nigger. i didnt dont do nothing
someone just jumped out the program
>>691944482
Nah leave me alone you jealous weasel. You're lying. I'm gonna wait here until she comes for me. She's the only one who understands me, and I KNOW she feel the same
this is my homeboi tyrone. he is staying here for a couple of hours till the heat is gone. if you know what i mean
someone has to start office 2
>>691945381
yes, those fucking ACs are terrible
GUYS i accidentally just opend that excel thing WHAT T FUCK DO I DO??!!
Well fuck, I guess it's time to go home. Fuck all you guys. I'm out!
Anyone want some gum before i go?
how do you spell watermelon?
here comes the plane lets go
>>691945988
with dubs
don't mean to be a bother but uh *unzips dick* can you guys check out my mixtape? *cums on desk*
https://youtu.be/-QiDFnz51xs
