Tell me your secrets, /b/.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Tell me your secrets, /b/.
I experience more arousal while pooping than having sex. As a gay man, a man's penis will never have the same effect as stool slowly pushing its way out of my anus. Hot to think of really.
Im a virgin :(
When i was about 12 years old, i regularly had sex with my 14 year old sister. It continued on for about 3 years. It only stopped when i contracted the clap. I didnt care but i think that embaressed her alot so she just quit. She was regularly molested at a younger age too.
I was raped while serving in the Army and I told no one because theres a huge stigma around a male being raped.Ive told no one. Not even my wife.
>>691747177
were u raped by a guy?
>>691746795
Me too, and I'm almost 32.
Because I fucking wanted to.
>>691747607
thats lewd anon
I haven't showered in 7 days. I could at any time but I just didn't feel like it.
>>691746595
I eat my own cum... quite often... gf doesnt know... yet...
>>691746595
i found a box with jewels in a ditch next to a road
its probably from a jewel heist, ive had it for 8 months now and ill keep it a little longer and maybe sell or pawn them abroad or in a different city
haven't told anyone i found it yet
>>691747884
What city did you find them in? Also could you post some pictures?
>>691746595
>>be me 17
>>roommate has amazing tits
>>i really want to fuck her
>>she was 24 at the time and didnt seem interested
>>watched her masterbate mutiple times
>>got to the point i was getting hard just seeing her
>>one day go into her room she has a her dildo laying out
>> admit that i think its hot that she masterbates
>>a few weeks later walk into her room to ask for something, sit down to ask her and feel a slight vibration in the bed
>>quickly lift her blanket and bam theres the amazing pussy with a vibrator going to town
>>end up eatting her out fucking her with her dildo while she gave me head
Years ago, My co-worker left his email open. I ended up finding nudes of his wife. Got drunk and traded them online. Do reverse image search on them now and she is internet famous.
>>691747177
I'm sorry, anon. I've read about shit like that before. Thanks for your service, though. I might join up myself at some point in the near future
>>691747177
I am with you anon. You are not alone anymore.
i smonked a weed once
>>691748727
This one want his share of rape
>>691746595
Uhhhhh, Im depressed.
by legal definitions, im technically a murderer.
I'm successful, and loved...yet I still hate my life and consider suicide on a daily basis.
>>691749062
>>i "smoked" weed once
>>its legal
>>lol
>>691749197
Where's the body faggot?
>>691749197
How ?
I'm afraid of Infinity.
>>691746595
I have vaginismus and will likely never make the effort to seek treatment. I sometimes consider finding a guy with some sleeping girl fetish and let him roofie/fuck me, just for the possibility of loosening me up. Of course, asking around for this is weirder than the guys who would want to. I'm probably going to shoot myself before I turn 40.
>>691748326
moar?
>>691749104
Nah, just want to serve my country. Plus, who doesn't want to shoot a few terrorists amirite
>>691746595
I alnost had sex with my ex teacher. But my bad selfconfidence didn't let me to do that...
I broke into a warehouse and stole a ton of valuable items but then I went back again and got caught near it and the owner got pissed and called the cops but I dont think they realize it was me who stole all the stuff
>>691749505
pics or gtfo
>>691749439
I am a telepath. You are French, aren't you?
>>691747359
Yes. Two guys.
>>691747391
fuckin nerd
>>691747023
thats actually so fucked lmfao
I'm growing increasingly terrified of bodies of water. Waist high, clear water is what I can handle. Even standing in a bathtub of soapy, hard to see through water gives me super anxiety. I stay away from the water at the beach. Even in games like The Forest, or Ark, where the graphics are realistic, I don't like to go into bodies of water, especially since I can't see through it when the game goes into night mode. Like, if my character falls into the water and I can't get out right away, I'll exit the game, or let myself drown and walk away.
Is this as weird as I feel like it is?
>>691748159
Nice try fbi
>>691749197
>>691749421
>>691749439
im too scared of being traced to go into any detail. and i dont know if its possible to just trace from a post. (serious, no bait)
>>691749062
i wish i was cool like you
>>691749977
I get that feel in open water. When i can't see the bottom. I think it's cause i had a near downing experience as a kid. It sucks too cause i live in Hawaii and the beach is one if the few fun activities that is free to do. I do go fishing a lot though. That i can handle.
anal sex is better then regular in my opinion
I'm going to kill myself on Friday. I have my letter and my gun. It's already such a relief. <3
>>691750434
pics?
>>691749725
K
>>691750027
Where do you live?
>>691750543
OP delivered, is this loss?
>>691750434
Make a video of you doing it
>>691747177
Don't ask, don't tell?
>>691750543
you don't only have vaginismus, you are also a hamgalaxy. thought you might wanna know
>>691746595
I love loli hentai.
>>691749977
sounds like youre developing a phobia, anon.
>>691750543
You get the roofies and I'll fuck you OP
>>691750344
You are stepping on dangerous ground. You like to fuck women in the ass, next you will wonder how does it feel, then you will finger and dildofuck your own brownhole, until you find a "friend" to help you with the real deal
>>691750543
Why not seek treatment?
>>691750434
why does your life suck that bad? gimmie some story feg
i have adhd
i'm married to a beautiful slim woman and i have absolutely no desire to fuck her, i'm just so bored with her sexually.
and we're getting ready to have a kid. stuck with her for life.
even better, she's a wonderful kind intelligent person, and to top it off, she'll do anything for me in bed.
but i just don't fuck her.
i do fuck a spic squat chick from my office who is clearly inferior.
>>691747177
Will at least you got dub
>>691750543
i would do it
>>691750783
lol nah i still love the pussy hell ya
I got super drunk and high and signed up for the National Air Sex competitions.
I did awful.
>>691750269
That's a good way of putting it, when the ground isn't visible. I never had this problem until the last couple years, nothing traumatic has happened either. I have a swimming pool for fuck's sake. Aren't the waters all super clear over in Hawaii? Or is that just a stereotype?
Eddard Stark isn't Jon Snow's dad, Lyanna Stark is Jon Snow's mother. Eddard Stark took him as his own in the Tower of Joy. Jon Snow's dad is Rhaegar Targaryen. This makes Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen family. This will be the main point of the last season (8th).
more into sex sex with my dog than my gf.
I have a six inch dildo and I masturbate with it up my ass. I love it, but I'm not gay. I just love anal masturbation.
>>691747177
I thought the army was just one giant gay fuck fest.
>>691749906
>New
>>691750822
Saddest story in this thread.
>>691750543
No pussy pic for reference?
i dressed up as a girl and went to a park. used my gf clothes and makeup. i had a wig and contact lenses hidden
also made me a fake butt and hips.
went to a park, asked for fire to a nice guy, he didn realize what i was. we talked a lot and then i kissed him, with tongue and all that shit. he asked me for my facebook or whatsapp, gave him all fake shit and said goodbye
think I'll do it again
>>691751082
Haha nice
>>691751082
Nice
>>691751177
Nice dubs
>>691751034
its fucking killing me.
what am i supposed to do?
i've heard it all before. be creative, try new things, communication, all that shit doesn't work.
>>691750434
Why on a Friday, that's just before the weekend
ive never got dubs before, :(
>>691751428
these are for you, friend
Im 19 and had a one night stand with a 21 year old about 2 months ago and she's the first girl i've ever actually been obsessed with. I literally cant get over this chick and she wouldn't even let me take her out again. I'm just playing it cool at this point hoping i casually see her at a party and somehow reel her back in but I can't get her out of my head.
>>691751258
Tell her the truth and leave for a couple months? Or lie and leave. Maybe you'll miss her, and when you come back she'll excite you again.
I've wanted to fuck my female cousin since we were both in our teens. She has a banging curvy body and an amazing pair of tits and tends to turn the conversation sexual as far as admitting how many times she's masturbated in a day. She's kind of a loser, pretty much is a parasite to her parents, and I once kinda insinuated that I found her attractive and she freaked out. There's nothing worse than finding out somebody is a coward.
>>691751428
Here you go buddy.
>>691749505
Go seek treatment, seriously. Promise me you'll do it.
>>691751428
Don't mind those fags. *These* are for you.
>>691749977
It's not weird, it's a phobia. Do you have any negative past experience related to water? It doesn't have to be the case.
When i go to the park i say I'm going to feed the birds
But i only go to eat a whole bag of Wonderbread
>>691751428
Check em, friend
>>691751428
No no, I dedicate these dubs to you sir.
I from time to time troll as a feminist/sjw on social media sites including 4chan.
>>691750434
Don't do it. Do pic related instead.
>>691751428
Because you never have, these are for you =)
>>691750752
I think you might be right. Nothing really traumatic has happened to cause it though, I have no idea where this came from. I was just wadding out from the beach last year with my friend, it was cloudy, and we were about 150 out, and the water was only to about my chest, but holy shit it was murky.
>in pre described setting
>cloudy outside, wind is picking up
>a storm's abrewin
>waves that were mid chest are now lifting me up a bit and going up to my head
>look at friend
>look at far away shore
>look around the murky water
>"omg what if big fish are out here"
>lake plant touches my leg
I think this is when I realized I had a problem, I damn near had an anxiety attack when I realized where I put myself.
>>691751428
Chiggedy check 'em friend
>>691750543
>>691751653
lol'ed
Don't think I have any secrets. Probably wouldn't remember if I did anyways.
>>691751638
Nah. I grew up with a pool even. Every year I go out and rent a house on the beach and would go in the water just fine.
>>691751507
telling her the truth would break her heart. i just couldn't.
i discovered the real purpose of viagra. for men who love their wives to fuck them when they have no desire to. i try to give her it once or twice a week but i dread those days.
its fucking insane.
in all other aspects we're a great couple. and i know if i don't fuck her at least sometimes she'll go find it elsewhere and i wouldnt blame her. yet--there is no way i will have an open marriage. i will never abide her cheating.
and yet i cheat.
>>691750812
Do you really? Give me symptoms and actual experiences of it.
>>691750973
>im not gay, i just love cocks in my ass
>>691751428
I want to fuck my younger cousin who is 4 years younger than me and get her pregnant. We had a thing when we were younger but never got to having sex sadly. These dubs for you /b/ro
>>691750822
Was gonna advise cheating... But you beat me to it.
I'm guessing knowing that your woman is superior to you turns you off.
You need to improve yourself, buddy.
I post my dick on /b/ and /soc/ regularly and jerk off to the praise I get because I'm bad at hooking up with people IRL. Fuck craigslist, you get murdered on there.
I also tell everyone I'm gay but I wouldn't mind fucking chicks. I just don't like dating girls.
>>691750822
>stuck with her for life.
Don't assume that, ever. Even if it feels that way. You're never stuck with anybody for life. She may leave you some day.
>>691751507
also, can't leave. already did for 6 weeks, can't split again.
am i morally a bad person if my cock just doesnt respond to her?
>>691750887
>lol nah i still love the pussy hell ya
>the pussy is a sort of improved anus, as I see it, no homo
Dtgv
>>691752173
she may. i'd be ready. but she seems completely and totally in love with me.
sometimes i consider letting her go. but like i said--in all other aspects we have a fantastic life together. she's my best friend in the world and i hers.
>>691751984
Nothin' wrong with being a cuck, anon. Maybe you'll get jealous and want to bang her again.
>>691751984
your problem is you keep trying to make others happy. you probably married her cause someone told you it was a good idea.
Then she convinced you to have a kid with her even though you don't love her.
Now you don't want to leave her because you don't want to make her and the baby sad.
Have fun with your mid life crisis.
I used to love shitting hard turds, no homo. Not really sexual, but it felt nice.
For the past 15 years, my stool stopped being hard. I had chronic stomach pain, etc. Paradoxal diarrhea and all. /b/ told me I had Chrone's disease, however you spell it. Turns out I have gluten intolerance, like half the planet at the moment. But I can't stop eating delicious sandwiches.
>sammich
>anal joy
>which to choose?
>>691752421
there's everything wrong with being a cuck. i will never ever be a cuck. i'll divorce her before that and that would shatter her.
>>691749505
>>691750543
Stephanie pls calm down
>>691750964
whats it like?
>>691752501
i married her bc i adore her. and when we married i loved sex with her. in the beginning it was fantastic.
yeah i'm already in that mid life crisis (early 40s).
Im afraid if i tell my cousin i might be in love with her she will laugh in my face or freak out and never talk to me again
>>691751258
A real solution is not to sleep in the same room. This kills most sex lives for most couples. You're together all the time, you shouldn't be.
That's all it is. You need to miss her, physically. Imagine if you ate your favourite meal every day, 3 times a day, how long would it take for you to say HET? Not long.
Send her on a holiday with friends. 2 weeks.
See what happens.
Also, how do you deal with the guilt of cheating on her, bud?
I really like a dude who I'll probably never get to see because he lives all the way across the fucking country. He also sees me in a condescending way and probably likes someone else. I'm 90% friend zoned :^)
Been in a long relationship for about 5 years. My girlfriend's best friend has been hanging out with us a ton for the past 2 years or so. My gf works early and always heads to bed to accommodate her early commute. Every time she goes upstairs, her bff and I jump each other and fuck. Some of the craziest sex I've ever had. Primal shit. Straight attraction. Still fucking almost 4 to 5 times a week for about 2 years.
>>691752009
childhood:
gifted student
frequently would get up during busy work sessions
would always hate doing homework and would hide sheets so my parents would think i had less
fidgety, bouncing my leg up and down when sitting
adulthood:
irritability and mood swings
lots of hobbies and tasks
get really enthusiastic and spend a lot of energy only to let it die out and go back to my normal routines
my house is a mess and i reject people coming over because i dont wanna clean
i know what i have to do, but i don't do it.
also i've been diagnosed by a dr in university. i tried some medication but i might've been too young and immature. looking for treatment now, i found my old pills which were 5 years expired (concerta, 36mg) and have beent aking them for a few weeks - it definitely helps. i'm much more mature now and i'm willing to take the steps necessary including medication to fight this neurogenetic disorder.
i've been coming to peace with having ADHD for the past few days.
>>691748623
u willing to show a pic of her?
>>691750936
Depends where you go and what the weather was like but mostly it's pretty nice the water. Here's a picture from mokuleia which is usually pretty clear. It's on the north west part of oahu.
>>691750629
Wait but I'm not OP
>>691750680
Pic related, 32DD and close up probably gave you the wrong idea
>>691750771
Still not OP
>>691750798
I've read that the treatment is basically the gyn giving you an assortment of different sized vibrators. You start from the smallest and go up. I can't even get a tampon in to be fucking real here.
>>691746595
I often wear a short dress and tights which I strategically ripped. I go to my local coffee shop and "accidentally" flash
Passers by.
Mostly wearing Vibrating egg and a small Jewel plug
It's the thought of someone just catching me but not realising just what they saw.
>>691751428
Here I present you these. Check em
>>691751538
>kinda insinuated that I found her attractive and she freaked out. There's nothing worse than finding out somebody is a coward.
That's not cowardice, pal, that's a healthy reaction to when your cousin says he wants to fuck you. You're a narcissistic piece of shit and a psychopath.
I came ridiculously close to gunning a man down in a parking lot with an FAL once...
>>691751653
Kek
>>691747832
You are a fucking degenerate ass monkey. I shower twice a day often, sometimes even three times.
The fuck brah
>>691751653
This is cute. No idea what wonderbread is though.
>>691752845
You ever see this pic before... How fucked am I
>>691751428
One last try for you sir.
>>691752516
i thought gluten intolerance like made your feet fall off or something
>>691751984
Pal, she needs to do kegel's. My woman's pussy is so fucking tight that even if I already came that day and have no sexual desire, fucking her uber tight pussy will make me come, or at the very least, keep me hard for action for however long as she wants (read: until the pain is too much).
Kegel's exercises, make her do them.
i love reading how /b/ makes my sister into their slutty cumbucket
>>691752110
This. Maybe you dread having sex with your wife because you feel bad about yourself.
>>691752532
>>691752859
You ignored this guy, I wonder why?
Confirmed her name is Stephanie
Get to work /b/ let's find her
>>691751984
>there is no way i will have an open marriage. i will never abide her cheating.
>and yet i cheat.
What makes you think she doesn't? Don't get separated for sex issues, though. That said, you should accept her cheating too, it's only fair.
I think I'm in love, or at least obsessed, with a student I used to work with.
>>691751573
I like to think I will in the near future, I'm not 100% sure what's stopping me. I think it might be more pyschological.
>I have a huge fear of getting preggo, cause obviously, I can't get a finger in, how the fuck would I get a fetus out.
>Fear gets me anxious when I tryin fuck
>I'd get birth control, but just thinking about that metal thing they use for pap smears gets me shaky.
>Pap smears required for birth control
>>691751428
Aww sorry man. These fags clearly don't know how to give away free dubs. Don't worry friend. These are for you. I behold. My Almighty dubs!
>>691752026
My brother married our cousin. Direct cousin. Our mother is her father's brother. They even had a baby, and that baby is wonderful and smart and looks great too. Just saying.
>>691752932
How the fuck is it narcissistic? She's the one who makes the conversations sexual. I just called her very long bluff and now I'm the piece of shit? I said I wanted to bang her, not that I fucking raped her or even so much as acted on it. You're the sociopath for thinking every interaction is equal to assault.
>>691751428
its getting hilarious at this point.
>>691746775
You're a fag.
>>691746595
I'm the Batman.
I discovered the secret to immortality last year. I'm making it into a business now -- only for the rich of course.
>>691753209
No if you eat gluten your dick flys ofg
>>691753326
Only one of those was me faggot. Ignored cause it's not Stephanie.
There's your clue, one name out, a billion more to go.
I secretly tried to communicate with Hitler using a ouija.
>>691749760
Were they black, white, mexican, Asian?
>>691746595
I like toitles
>>691752219
You fuck someone else, so I assume you have sexual desire, and you probably fap too. Make her do kegel's and work your dick in there, you can do the job even if your desire is lessened. If her vadge is loose, it will be difficult.
Just close your eyes and think about your spic workmate.
>>691753529
>Only one of those was me
Someone replied to a post. Asked for timestamp. You replied to that with pic and timestamp, but it's not you?
U wot m8?
>>691753510
What's the secret?
>>691746595
I have a girlfriend and regularly masturbate to a female friend that I love insanely.
>>691752769
How do you know him if he lives so far away?
>>691751830
if what you say about not being able to even be near water in vidya is true, then it sounds very serious. first i would recommend treatment, but if youre too embarassed to or something like that (completely understandable) then id retrace your steps.
because it sounds like youre progressing fairly quickly into this phobia, you should retrace what youve recently become afraid of and expose yourself to your growing fears in small but increasing increments. this method worked very well for me when i was a kid and developed the rather common phobia of dirt/germs/bacteria. for me it was less washing of the hands per day, etc etc. so for you this would mean spending more time in vidya near water, as ridiculous as it might seem. then once youre comfortable move on to clear water irl. it sounds ridiculous, i know, but it certainly works.
make sure you have someone to keep you in check with this stuff too, preferably a friend or someone who is willing to help you. gl anon
>>691752847
Jesus christ that's beautiful. How far out into the water could you go on a day like that without freakingM
>>691751428
Last try. My dubs are yours. My trips however are mine. Sorry bro but dems da rules
>>691752219
>am i morally a bad person if my cock just doesnt respond to her?
That's not your fault. Biologically, most men are designed to fuck lots of women, not the same woman lots of times. You seem to care for her and that's morally good. More marriages than you know don't include sex after some time. People stay friends and fap on their own.
>>691746595
I often lick my pussyjuice out of my panties at the end of the day or lick my fingers after I masturbate. Nobody knows about it, except maybe my bf. I didn't tell him, but unwillingly gave him hints. I don't find anything bad in it, the thought of telling it to someone is just embarassing, even to my bf to whom I say everything.
>>691748326
>end up eatting her out fucking her with her dildo
wat
>not fucking her yourself
>>691752417
Hold on to what you have anon. Most of us here will never feel a woman's love. I KNOW i will continue to pay for sex for the rest of my life, as there are literally zero chances that a woman will ever fall in love with me. I'm not even mad anymore.
>>691752748
the guilt is not that bad because i believe men naturally should be able to fuck other women--on occasion, and strictly for pleasure. i dedicate myself to my wife in all ways. i support her, care for her, work to make her happy, and only her, and she says i'm her rock. men and women are different in sexuality.
if i was loving and supporting another woman i'd be wracked by horrible guilt but i would never. the chick i bone sometimes knows i'll never love her or care for her and she's (the other chick) is fine with that, she knows the score, no illusions.
your idea of sleeping apart is actually the first new idea i've heard and is very interesting indeed. i appreciate that very much. will be thinking on this idea. do you have personal experience of that? if so did it work?
>>691752522
Yet you cuck her? I don't get it. Shouldn't her cucking you ease your own guilt of cucking her?
>>691753093
She's hot. You dun good son.
>>691751428
Ayyy, bro Check em'
>>691749505
You posted this
>>691749725
Guy replies with this
>>691750543
You reply with this
>>691753529
So. Which one wasn't you?
>>691749223
try weed. honestly.
>>691752694
No need to be this direct. Just ask her to do things with you and see how she reacts. Going for a walk, etc. No need to go all in right away I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU LET'S FUCK.
>>691753234
Dude, she's tight. That is NOT the issue.
>>691752859
What does your pussy look like?
>>691752799
And she never caught you despite sleeping 10 meters away from your primal fuckings?
>>691752532
What's her last name bro?
Need to confirm
>>691754025
She has been posted all over the world
I want to rape a girl. Not a specific girl, but any. I don't care if she's asleep or awake. I like the idea forcing her to accept my dick.
>>691750822
Old saying: "for every beautiful woman there is a man who's tired of fucking her"
>>691752110
interesting take. but i never said i thot she was superior. i said the latina squat is inferior to my wife.
i dont believe my woman is superior to me.
i do need to improve myself, but that is between me and myself.
>>691753291
Nah dude. It's absolutely physical. I feel great about myself in all other aspects--she says i'm her rock and i feel her love every day, and i make sure she feels loved too.
>>691753708
>>691754037
Sorry, I'm retarded, I saw this and immediately thought "only one was me". But obviously he had to point out the post, and get my attention, my bad guys, especially anon that I called a faggot.
In my defense, if you'll notice the timestamp, it is now 3:38 a.m. and I'm getting tired. Still though, I recognize I goofed.
>>691753881
i think most guys would find that hot
>>691752799
Gf knows and doesnt care?
>>691753736
I know him through online games. We've gotten to know each other pretty well too :^/
i stole a balloon on free balloon day
>>691752808
>gifted student
That's what I feared. I have the same condition and I'm a teacher. I believe in adhd less and less. This is probably your real condition, not adhd. Gifted and a little bitch. I do the leg thing very often, to this day, sometimes both legs.
>adulthood:
irritability and mood swings
lots of hobbies and tasks
get really enthusiastic and spend a lot of energy only to let it die out and go back to my normal routines
my house is a mess and i reject people coming over because i dont wanna clean
>i know what i have to do, but i don't do it.
Your main issue and solution is to man the fuck up and not give yourself excuses. I've been through the exact same deal, and I know you have what it takes to straighten yourself up.
You don't have ADHD, you have giftedness. I may be able to help you far more.
Don't take medication, you're not ill.
write me:
[email protected]
>>691753715
it's pretty complicated, but you'll probably hear about it in the next 5 years or so once it is made available to the general public. The chemistry involved is vaguely similar to embalming, but modified. It's going to be an interesting future!
>>691754542
What does your pussy look like femanon? I'd have to imagine that it would have to be pretty small given how tight you say it is
>>691753362
i've wondered about that, and i think she may be capable of it down the line, but 99.99% sure she has never yet.
i'd never accept it. male and female sexuality is different. our culture is so feminized and men so cucked and emasculated they think both sexes are the same. they're not. a man has to work to get laid. a woman just has to spread her legs. biology.
>>691752859
Start with a match. Then a pencil. Whatever it takes, do the work, girl, come on.
>>691750822
>i do fuck a spic squat chick from my office who is clearly inferior
Are you me? wholly fuck! I been bangin the cleaning lady when I stay late after work.
>>691754542
Just admit it's you, Steph. I know you got the too tight pussay cuz ya boy told me.
>>691754269
Won't reveal that. Here's a pic tho. Body style certainly matches the timestamp pic.
>>691750938
No shit. Guess who is getting a dragon for the family reunion?
>>691752247
ass is usually tighter in my experience
>>691753426
>I can't get a finger in, how the fuck would I get a fetus out.
C-section, which everyone should do for many reasons: doesn't destroy your vagina, is safer for you and the baby.
I am ashamed of my body
Even though my BMI falls into the healthy (24.1) category, I my abdominals are practically nonexistant, only a body of fat there, also the lower side of my arms are saggy, and my butt is big
And even worse is that where I live, saunas and lakes are a big thing. Often times when I go out drinking or partying where there's a sauna and everyone's going there, I just stay outside and always use the "oh I fainted in the sauna one time while drunk and now I don't go there unless I'm sober" or something. And if they go spend some time at the lake, I just come up with some excuse not to go or go there and stay on the shore.
>>691753675
dude how am i supposed to tell her to do kegels!?
1, she's tight and 2, it would be telling her she's a loose cunt, which would be horribly hurtful!
>>691753468
>She's the one who makes the conversations sexual.
All right, I missed that part. My bad.
I'm politically active. I really hate jews but I can't tell anyone.
>>691746595
I'm having an affair with an engaged woman.
Could have had relationships with plenty of good looking and super awesome girls in the past but i always botch whatever chances I have in the end due to my reluctance to expand beyond teasing and flirting. My looks aren't an issue, its just that I feel like my personality isnt that great and question why anyone would want to be with me. Pretty sure I have confidence issues. How am do for fix this?
>>691753512
To be serious, if anyone else has it:
>tummy pains
>soft stool
>diarrhea
>can also cause tiredness and other things
>>691753975
damn bro, that hit the feels. sorry to hear that. why r u so sure about you? are you paralyzed waist down or something?
>>691754995
You're already on a watch list.
>>691752522
>>691754007
If you get cucked, it will because of deception on her part. Check the baby's DNA, make sure it's your kid with paternity test.
There is no other way to become a cuck, than for her to lie to you and convince you that the baby is yours, when it is not.
>>691753735
Facebook's true purpose for men.
>>691751428
Its not for everyone. Dubs get
>>691752808
Story of my life. Never got any diagnosis though
>>691753799
Me personally until maybe 15 feet deep. But fuck. When the tide comes in and the water by your feet gets really cold. That gives me shakes. Or if my foot brushes ANYTHING i don't see first. I would feel better skydiving than snorkeling. Here's a picture from the top of a hike i did.
>>691753758
Man, the care, thanks anon, I will try this.
I know the video game thing is ridiculous, when I realized how freaked out a god damned video game got me, I figured I could assume I had a sizeable problem.
I don't know if I'll ever go to get professional help, only because I don't live close to any bodies of water that I would find myself wanting to go in (like a beach), and aside from the video games, it doesn't affect my life too much. I take showers, not baths.
I will try the baby steps though, because I do miss being able to swim at the beach, the few times a year that I have the opportunity. Thanks again Anon.
I have a small, ugly dick, and getting hard is a challenge, even though I'm not even 20 years old.
>tfw you will never satisfy a woman
>tfw it is probably for he best that you remain a virgin for life.
>>691754007
a woman cannot be cucked. she can be betrayed, but not cucked--the word is exclusively for a man who raises another man's child, or more generally, a man who supports a woman who is getting fucked by another man. because of biology and evolutionary psychology, it's far more degrading for a man to be cheated on than a woman.
>>691753881
That's disgusting. I'd legit dump you over this, or at least stop kissing you altogether.
I enjoy spanking girls and boys.
>>691753975
Bullshit. You don't understand women. If you made an effort, you would find someone. I guarantee it.
I am white and racist and having a lot of trouble getting over it. I have a couple non-white friends, but when i see or meet a black or hispanic stranger i'm always more worried they will try to rob me or fight or some shit
I am 100% fine with the people that I know and people working their jobs or whatever, but I'm genuinely wary of a random black guy walking down the street towards me. is this bad?
btw, non-racist parents, went to public ghetto-ish highschool
>>691754353
BINGO
its fuckin brutal dude.
>>691754596
sounds exactly like my situation, except im the guy in this case. im friendzoning her, which makes me feel like an asshole, but to tell the truth im 100% happy just being single. maybe he is too, anon. give it time
I had sex with my cousin several times when we were children (we're both male)
>>691752912
Tits or gtfo
>>691754805
lol and you're married tho?
>>691754331
Except on my computer. I've never seen her. She's hot.
>>691754610
classic
>>691755232
But he doesn't know, and I actually convinced him to kiss him after he blows his load in my mouth (without tongue though). So maybe it wouldn't gross him out
>>691755102
100% agreed
>>691752912
i would do things like this if i were a girl. and well a male flogging off in public a bit more noticeable and unacceptable. Though i've done it while driving before
>>691753977
>on occasion, and strictly for pleasure.
So feelings are forbidden, but you can fuck their asses and jizz on their face? Interesting.
>men and women are different in sexuality.
Many women feel the same way you do about men and also believe they should be allowed to fuck a variety of males, strictly for pleasure. They just can't say it as candidly as you do.
>your idea of sleeping apart is actually the first new idea i've heard and is very interesting indeed. i appreciate that very much. will be thinking on this idea. do you have personal experience of that? if so did it work?
It's a tip I heard before. I've spent a long time apart from my partner and when she came back, I was the horniest I had ever been about her, so yes, I do think being in the same bed affects your lust. Sleep apart, limit your time together: meals, walks, etc, and whenever you're not together for a purpose, just don't be physically together. That sort of stuff can make a relationship mundane.
Sleeping in your own room has good chances to work, yes.
>>691754333
You're a psychopath.
>>691755296
dude, white guilt is fucking pathetic. racism is a natural healthy reaction to your environment. stop being such a pussy. everyone is racist, no one admits it. blacks really are a dangerous and destructive force in our society (apologies to the few decent ones). get over it.
soon whites will be a very small minority and then we'll be extinct. get some fucking racial pride faggot. whites invented the greatest societies in the history of the world--whch is why the entire world wants to migrate to Europe and North America.
Deal with it. Own it.
>>691754376
>interesting take. but i never said i thot she was superior.
Oh I know you didn't say it, you wouldn't if that's really what bothers you about your wife. You'd try to make that as unconscious as possible.
Not necessarily the reason but a possibility. Seeing a reflection of how you suck in your beautiful wife would definitely turn you off.
>>691755733
It's not like I'll actually do it, anon. I have control of myself.
>>691751428
Here are your dubs m8
>>691754525
>It's absolutely physical
It happens in your mind, it's absolutely psychological.
>>691754203
It's an innie, bless my soul.
>>691754333
Oh good, roofie me pls
>>691754706
Same anon as above? Go find some loli
>>691754775
>a match
I'd say Q-tip, but that feels doctor ish, I'd probably lose the mood upon picking the damn thing up
One of these days though, ones of these fucking days
>>691754820
I mean, I won't give any of my info to say that's not me, but, that's not me.
>>691754923
That scar though. I don't even want kids man.
>>691755733
I just learned psychopaths are incapable of feeling empathy. It sounds like a useful thing to have really.
>>691751538
At least its legal...
>>691746595
i once put my dick up my sisters ass
> be 10
> sister be same age ( not twins, she was adopted after aunts death )
> playing doctor and checking out the bits and bobbles
>anon thats gross why is it getting hard
> its to stick it in your hole duh
> bullshit im never letting one of those near my vagina
actually fat lesvban since highschool, good cal sis
> no you put it up your buthole unless you want to get pregnant
> before internet so rumor mill only, i was under the impression that sticking your dick in a vagina always mean pregnant and usually instantly start swelling
> no way that could get up my butthole
> bet it could
> back and forth until she is laying down on the couch on her stomach to prove me wrong
> lay on top of hr
> try to stick it in, restistance
> tell me to stop its hurting
> push really hard, popped right in. felt warm
> she starts screaming and struggling under me, so i get off
> got the poopy dick
> gross sis i have shit on my dick
> she is calling me an asshole and sobbing like i just forcefully took her actual virginity or something
> she was the one who denied it would fit and let me try i mean fuck take some creidt for your actions
>she goes off to blame me for everything
> wash my dick
> we never talk about it, and i have never told anyone that my first time was taking my sisters anal cherry
>>691751428
Lets gets this guy to 20 no dubs.
>>691754748
>male and female sexuality is different. our culture is so feminized and men so cucked and emasculated they think both sexes are the same.
It varies a lot between people.
> a woman just has to spread her legs. biology.
Plenty of women have much more to do and still never get laid.
You seem a little naive about women, friend. You talk like a retard from /r9k/ when it comes to women.
>>691751428
ill try to halp
>>691746595
i love sniffing my little sister's neck under her hair.
>>691755904
i don't think that's it. i've always been very successful with women, handsome, charismatic. Not trying to be arrogant. And she knows it too. I really don't suffer from low self esteem, trust me.
Except for that one thing always: I feel like a bad husband bc I have to take viagra just to fuck my awesome wife. She deserves more (in bed). Feels bad man.
>>691751428
Enjoyed the thread. Figured I'd give you dubs before I went to bed
>>691755052
Stop doubting people, get self-confidence. Trust others.
>>691751428
heres a couple
>>691751428
Someone screencap this if no dubs
>>691756013
>At least its legal...
No it's not. Not a single state.
>>691751428
all those replies and no dubs. you are fucking cursed, checkem confirms.
>>691755165
YES, I know fucking exactly what you're talking about. Like, this cold water definitely came from the deep, what if it brought spooky things with it.
I don't really like heights either, but I would have a parachute. I wonder which would be worse, dropped in the middle of a deep lake/pond, or be on the edge of the plane, looking down, ready to jump?
That's a hell of a view though, at least you find other stuff to do around there, with good views.
>>691755158
Giftedness. You've been diagnosed. Enjoy your new life.
>>691756021
brah that shit is hot.
>>691756021
T O P K E K
>>691751428
here ya go anon
>>691751428
Let me end the cycle. Check em
>>691755193
I have an 8 inch cock and I've never satisfied a woman with it, even though I get diamonds. Most women don't get off dicks, pal, they need to touch themselves or be touched.
Hope that helped.
>>691756165
What does it smell like? Some girls have the sweetest smelling hair and same with their soft skin.
hotest thing in the world... i dream that my GF would take my cock in the mouth after it been in her pussy, but she would never do it and i am sad.
I want to test the breaking point of humans. I want to take your average hard working man with a wife and kids and tie him to a chair. Then before his very eyes I want to have his wife fuck another man. I want to see him cry. After that I want to torture his children before his very eyes. At the same time I want to tell him how cruel the world is, how there is no, and everything he loves and cares for can be taken from him in an instant. I will then show him clips of everything that has ever gone wrong in his life.
>tl;dr:
My goal is create a human who has lost all sense of love for the world. Take every last drop of emotion from him and see what kind of empty soul he becomes.
>>691753563
>I secretly tried to communicate with Hitler using a ouija.
And what did you say to him?
>>691756478
Really anon.. Damn. I never got to do that. Ahh. Some things aren't meant to be.
>>691756134
Nah m8. Highly experienced. Ironically, I think your take is the naive one.
"Plenty of women have much more to do and still never get laid." Bullshit. Unless a woman is just horrendous looking, she can find a man to fuck her with absolute minimal effort.
Varies a lot" Nice moral and cultural relativism. Are you a millenial?
>>691755949
>That scar though. I don't even want kids man.
Look, natural birth often requires your vulva to be cut open, the part that connects with your asshole. This wound doesn't heal well and may reopen whenever you have sex energetically. You'd still get a scar, on your vadge, and it may prevent good sex for you for the rest of your life.
As to not wanting a child, wait until you turn 28 and tell me about it.
>>691756526
That'll just either result in him being shut in. Or being angry enough to kill himself in the process of killing you.
>>691756554
You're not dead yet. There's still time. Doesn't have to be lewd.
>>691756409
INTERESTING comment
>>691753881
hotest thing in the world... i dream that my GF would take my cock in the mouth after it been in her pussy, but she would never do it and i am sad.
>>691751984
i think you are straight up not in love with your wife and you've convinced yourself that care + commitment = love.
does she make your insides wriggle? do you smile as soon as you see her face? if you were really fucking angry at her and she accidently cut her hand, would you make sure she's okay or would you be happy about it?
don't have kids with her you dumbass, you will be teaching them that your shitty marriage is what love looks like.
>>691756547
>so what are jew up to these days
>>691753503
Haha classic
>>691753093
Bump
>>691756486
Man the fuck up pussy. Women want strong, decisive men who take what they want.
>>691751428
literally how do you not have dubs yet
>>691746595
I just got hired at a new job. I will make rent by the end of the month.
I will have my license suspended tomorrow for a DUI.
I will be fired from my job.
I will not be able to make rent.
>>691752020
>plastic dildos are literally flesh and blood cocks
>>691756478
got no word to describe exactly.
it's just her scent + the recent shampoo.
it was cinnamon now.
>>691751428
lel no dubs fags Ive never got singles
>>691756645
Nah it's one of my deepest desires. To hold a girl from behing while we're both standing at the terrace and I smell her hair and lose myself. Kinda childish I know but I want this so much.
>>691756526
Ginghis?!!! Is that you?
>>691751428
to get dubs you have to have the meme magic. these are my 3rd dubs in a row on this thread.
I'm my girlfriends first boyfriend (we're both in our early 30s and have dated since our early 20s). She's a solid 7/10 but she used to be fat so she was never used to attention from guys. She has an incredibly low libido and the sex is pretty woeful when it does happen. Whenever I try and talk to her about being more open about sex she clams up and I can tell she feels inadequate (it's pretty well known that was a bit of a cocksmith in highschool and college). I cheated on her a few times early in our relationship, but that ended about two years in because sex is the only issue I've ever had with her. Aside from that she's everything I've ever looked for in a woman.
The cheating isn't the secret. The secret is this:
Whenever she is in the mood for sex I act like I'm not interested.
Whenever she tries to make a move I act like I'm not in the mood, like she used to do to me.
Whenever she mentions that she wants to later, I jerk off so I don't even get hard during foreplay.
Whenever we do have sex I tell her I have to go to the bathroom and jerk off so I can make her cum without ever cumming myself.
I know that I very may well be perpetuating the inadequacy she feels, but her inability to instigate sex early in our relationship flipped a switch. After I stopped cheating and I thought "You know what? Fine. If I'm not going to have the satisfaction of being with other women then you won't have the satisfaction of ever being able to please me sexually. You don't have that right anymore. Whenever our friends talk about sex i'll slip in a joke about how you only really put forth the effort once every month. I'll tell you about the times where I get hit on when I'm out. I'll tell you about how impressed I was that my roommate and her boyfriend had a 2 hour marathon session".
If I can't control how much we have sex, I can certainly control what happens when we try.
TL;DR: I'm fucked up.
>>691756849
No.
>>691756628
Jesus fucking nope. I should just get the local planned parenthood's number now because there is no way in hell.
I'll just adopt
>Do I go for a monkey or a chink?
>>691751428
Fucking newbs. This is how you dubs
>>691756672
I actually do that almost every time we have sex, since I don't want him to finish inside my vagina. I like the taste of me mixing with his.
>>691756672
I've never known a woman that wouldn't take it after it's been in her mouth. Not that I don't simply shove it in her mouth after pussy anyway.
>>691746595
i think im gay and i want a boyfriend to play with
i use to be a 10/10 trap
i gained 200 pounds from depression then over the past year i have started to lose it all, but im on the last strech and its realy hard.
should i just kill my self
i dont think i will ever find love
>>691751
Chiled P0rn>>691751428
>>691751428
you have fucking cursed everybody on your post.
>>691756951
chink obv, ez doctor later in life
>>691751428
I Am le anonomus le dodos
>>691756777
Damn, for real? When did you DUI?
>>691757064
that's a lot of weight.
honestly, how'd you swing that?
>>691747607
LOL
>>691756829
Nothing childish about drinking in the pleasure of the simple things in life. If it makes sense, I believe that true maturity can only come with retention or redevelopment of the childlike soul.
>>691756526
>My goal is create a human who has lost all sense of love for the world. Take every last drop of emotion from him and see what kind of empty soul he becomes.
He becomes you.
Glad to have helped.
>>691751538
That suck I've fucked 3 of my cousins so far
>>691757064
nah man
your gay go suck a cock and get over it, literally
i mean as long as your not waving it in peoples faces like a faggot who cares who you choose to fuck
>>691757197
got any pics of you when you were a hot trap?
Jerking to cuzs wife
Godxlive snap me
I crave her more than my girlfriend.
I think about her everyday.
It is endless agony.
It'll never end.
>>691757276
Thanks. Mate. Few people I've met who think like that.
>>691757302
Oh, no anon. I still have love for people.
>>691756887
maybe you want her to feel the same way you feel? kinda fucked up though because i'd think you would welcome sex. i don't know, i'm grasping at straws here.
how long have you two dated?
>>691751428
One....last.....tryyyyyyy
>>691757197
>went to homeschool
>ate every day cause i was depressed
i was 350, but now im down too 200, its just the last little bit that is the worst
i want to be at least 150 so i can like my self again
>>691757179
One month ago.
I thought i would be under the limit.
I was .05 over the limit with a 90% certainty that I was within .04 of that .085 reading.
So now I'm pretty much fucked.
>>691756557
>Unless a woman is just horrendous looking, she can find a man to fuck her with absolute minimal effort.
Yes, but take a look at the sort of men she could get fucked by... You'd rather not get fucked at all.
It varies a lot amongs individuals, yes, I stand by that. From virtually asexual ones to nymphomaniacs and everything in between.
I agree that there are major differences along the whole divide, though, and I'm not a relativist in any way. I mostly agree with you.
>>691756887
some real life shit
>>691751428
Pls screencap this shit.
>>691751428
I'm actually dubbed, the dubber
> check these out
>>691757399
You're welcome. Just don't go and scalpel her skin off so you can savour that part of her forever. It would send the wrong signal.
>>691756677
>you will be teaching them that your shitty marriage is what love looks like.
A valuable lesson.
>>691757329
let me look
i have me now
it was when i was younger, im 19 now
i have the face down, im just working on the rest now
>>691751428
dubs get
>>691756887
Not the worst, but definitely one of the worrisome.
You're going to break your gf anon.
>>691757628
Kek no man. If I ever find 'her' I'll probably do anything for her.
>>691757486
thats really unhealthy anon, how tall are you?
200 isnt to bad of a weight and bad news if your over 26 you wont ever be a twink again
>>691751428
gayfay
>>691751428
take my dubs u little hoe
>>691757016
I must show this post to my GF and say that all women are like this.
>>691757722
srsly. shes probably going to take a kitchen knife to your dick dude.
>>691751428
lolololo xddd
>>691751428
stop resisting!! >:(
>>691751428
50 no dubs?
>>691751428
dubs are impossible to get if you reply to this
>>691757329
i think this is all i have but this is a verry bad pic, and its when my face was more manly, my face has gotten more feminine over the years
regularly browsing eeveelutions on e621 sounds fairly tame compared to half the shit in this thread
>>691757152
top fucking kek
>>691751428
Take this, my secret technique!
DUB-I-DUB-I-DUB-I-DUB-DUB-DUB
DUB-I-DUB-I-DUB-I-YEAHEEEHEAAH
>>691757910
but not this ;)
#checkem
>>691751428
C-C-COMBO BREAKER
>>691751428
have these trips instead :^)
MY MOMS FRIEND TRIED TO CAR ME IN THE BACK OF MY FINGERS MOM
just in time
>>691751428
if not dubs you have cursed this thread and leave 4chin 4eva
>>691757727
i just turned 19, and im spost to be around 180, but that is bulky male, and i want skinny trap
i know im fucked in the head, but it was the only thing that made me happy
>>691752982
Why the fuck are you carrying around a FAL? You must also have a fadora.
>>691758066
FINALLY. WE DID IT GUYS
>>691758066
>>691758100
k-k-k-kek
>>691758066
fuck me
>>691757727
im 5'4" btw
>>691755949
where you at? If you sign a consent form ahead of time I'm up for drugging and fucking.
you'd be sore as fuck the next day though.
>>691757488
It's not the end of the world. You're not totally fucked. Just majorly inconvenienced for awhile until you get back to an easier life. This is the experience you needed to stop drinking and driving.
>>691751428
00112233445566778899
.................mmmmmmmm
>>691756887
Pretty fucked up. Make an effort and stop being so passive aggressive, you dickbag. Enjoy what you can with her.
>>691754610
Sponge, you already did your time for that, remember?
>>691758134
No.
He said those were trips.
It shouldn't count but 2 repeating numbers are repeating numbers...
>>691757152
I needed that chuckle anon
