Fluffy Thread
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Fluffy Thread
>>691307106
Can someone explain what the shit is going on with the series of pictures that includes this? Seems like fluffies that are LITERALLY "munstahs."
>>691307217
I think its supposed to be "Sciencebox"
>>691307356
topkek
My new fav fwuffy.
Am fwy! Thtptpt!
I'm going to grab a bite to eat. Hope the thread doesn't die.
>>691307546
>>691307968
moar
this is funny as fuck
>>691307968
Come on nigga... post da shit... da weed almost gone and my latest gal Grapesodasha is starting to ugly
Don't mind me, just bumping
>>691307968
thats it?
>>691309642
>>691309946
>>691310928
No more exists yet.
>>691308039
The whole image makes it so much better compared to that cropped shit.
>>691311261
Agreed
Just wanted to single out that one.
>>691310310
>>691310377
>>691310405
>>691310915
These are fucking hilarious.
>>691311261
>>691311826
>>691307217
well
if you just splice the genome of multiple species together mistakes are going to happen
i wonder how much biowaste was produced before the first fluffy uttered the word "wub"
>>691313046
Wub? Wub!
>>691313766
What is this? A post for micro-fluffies?
>>691313766
>Please
Oh, look, its Thumbnail guy. AGAIN!
Dude, fix that. Please. Joke gets old.
>>691314045
Everytime I see this I think of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIGcNjXFwoA
>>691314045
Welp, looks like I forgot one. Have a hugbox while I sort through my files.
>>691313869
Angel is fucking terrifying! I love it!
>>691314402
Hugbox? I prefer weirdbox.
>>691314600
>>691314402
Ah. As long as you're working on it we still love you. Have some sad Hugbox back.
We're all here for the retarded horse hamster butchery. No reason to fight.
>>691307106
I'd rather see some good hardcore rape or porn of fwuffies so I can at least jack off to it.
>>691314600
Everybody is. But if we only post weirdbox, the thread would never hit image limit.
>>691314949
I think the correct term would be: "Es-wird-dir-leid-tun-kacke". But ouchen-poopens works.
>>691315163
wir mussen die puppen ausrotten?
Last /pol/ fluff for a bit.
>>691315387
I never thought about translating Fluffies to german. Hmmmm.
"Flauschis" maybe?
Yeah, lets go with that.
>>691314897
Indeed, but a little once in a while makes the threads more fun.
>>691314805
I posted something further up in the thread, go look for it, faggot.
>>691314600
I love these "Feral Fluff" pieces that show the harshness of nature that isn't outright abuse by humans.
>>691315747
>Indeed, but a little once in a while makes the threads more fun.
You're so right with that one. Sadly very few artist make weirdbox. So I treasure the ones we got so far.
Don't really get why, though. Should be much more popular.
>>691316239
Indeed, if I could draw at all, I'd be making weirdbox regularly.
>>691315747
More life of ferals.
>>691315605
In Italian I'd go with "strunzo"
And speaking of Italians and Axis power,s have a shitty edit, fresh off the digital press!
>>691316726
>could draw at all,
For me is a time its a time-thing. Drawing good stuff takes ages! I started to trying out writing in the Fluffniverse. Every other evening a few hours. But even that takes AGES.
I don't really get how some people just write that shit down as it comes to them.
>>691317243
Onto everyone God has granted a gift. For some, that gift is thinking up great ways to torture imaginary balls of fluff-innocence.
God must really hate fluffies.
>>691317243
All people are different. I have read about authors that work on their books into the wee hours of the mornin' for weeks at a time, and others that don't write anything but a few lines every day. Same with other kinds of artists I reckon, and some are simply more prolific than others. Some people are full of ideas but can't realize them, others have few ideas but are really good at realizing the few they have. But it's all good in the hood. If we were all the same, humanity wouldn't get shit done.
>>691316726
>>691317508
I think he is just afraid of the competition. When we humans start to make creatures....
Next level, I tell you.
I don't have a gift though. Everything I am good at was hard work.
>>691317982
You're probably right. I should stick to what I trained for.
And let others spill the booboo juice.
>>691318267
Forgot the canned foal.
>>691318333
I love foal in a can. Hold on while I fetch Jose.
>>691307481
more
>>691318267
Nah, the point is that you should do what you want to do, even if it takes a long time to accomplish. Keep reaching for that star, or in this case fluffy abuse. >.<
I really should start writing stuff, apparently I have a talent for it, even if I tend to get stuck on naming people and not make it sound like a person from another planet trying to fit in on earth. >.<
>>691318333
Canning? Canning!
>>691317982
>>691318739
Hound her
ose and the Cans
Part 1
>My name is Jose, and I work for the Foal-in-a-Can company
>The original, the one that started the fad, not the shitty imitators using chinese knockoff fluffies in eggs full of that gel shit and are all retarded when you take them out
>My company sells quality
>Well, as much quality as $2.50 can get
>We sell the meh foals, not shitty runts that are sold by weight as snake food but the ones that would most likely sell for $.50, if they make it out of the clearance bin before they become "kibble components"
>You wont find a pure white or black foal in these machines
>You will never ever find an alicorn, not even a shit brown one, because even those go for $50-100 depending of how "poopy" it is
>But you can find a decent foal without defects in popular colors like pink, blue, purple, etc
>Some shit-tier breeders tired of only finding turd-brown and puke-green ferals use these machines to get better stock
>But you can't ask for much and if you plan to become a breeder you could pay a little more, but then again most breeders are amateur retards
>So where was I? oh yeah, my story
>When people hear I work for this company their reactions are mixed
>So I tell them I work at some dumb office position, not with the fluffies themselves
>Pretty much anyone who handles fluffies is suspected to be an abuser
>Mostly because nobody can stand the fucking things and quits............unless they like to do something else to them
>I'm kind of in a grey area in that regard
>I don't work in the offices
>I don't work in "breeding & processing"
>I don't work in maintenance of the vending machines
>I'm the "cleanup guy"
>>691318984
>At the beginning foal-in-a-can retrieved all unsold foals from the vending machines during restocking
>They were sent back to B&P to be reprocessed
>Cans would be emptied of the foal, washed, the formula refilled and then sent back to be filled with a fresh newborn foal
>At this stage most foals were dead
>When they stay until restock day most have died of sepsis when their guts exploded from all the backed up shit
>What, didn't you know? we glue the little fuckers' anuses shut so they wont shit up the can
>Nobody would buy them otherwise, not if the can is all brown
>Besides the foal would die even faster if it had to live surrounded by its own poop
>When you buy them you take the glue out, is like a tampon
>But you better do it next to a trashcan or a toilet
>Back to the factory, when we bring the cans back the few foals who are still alive are inspected
>A few, VERY few get selected for breeding
>The rest are thrown straight into the grinder with the dead ones
>We don't even bother to "empty" them of all the backed up shit, the meat slush gets pasteurized so even if it has shit and fluff on it its safe for other fluffies to eat
>We do the same with the formula, which is a mix of milkbags and nutrients from the slush, and a shitton of antibiotics and preservatives
>You would think these few selected foals who get spared are happy as fuck right?
>Maybe at the beginning, but the reality is that they "pillowed" right there
>No waiting, no letting them play for once
>And both females AND males
>We find its much easier, faster and thus cost-effective to get the sperm off the stallions and then artificially inseminate the mares
>Both stallions mares are stationed with a feeding tube, a poop tube and catheters
>The only difference is that mares have a slide right next to their vaginas to retrieve the foals as they are born
>You probably seen this on shows like "How its made" so I'm not going to go through the whole process
>>691319059
>Again, this was old in the PAST
>Now shit has changed
>Foal-in-a-can needs to be more profitable
>So they start cutting unnecessary expenses
>One thing they did is copy other vending machines
>For example those other companies don't retrieve any expired product
>Shipping is too expensive, so they just throw it in the nearest trash bin
>It saves them millions in logistics
>So the bean counters at my company copied that
>And that's where I come in
>My name is Jose, and I'm the cleanup guy
>I'm the guy who goes before the restocking guys and gets rid of the spoiled merch
>Which means I do a lot of "cleaning"
>>691319099
>Today I get to clean Unit-45/R
>Is right outside a strip mall, where a payphone used to be decades ago when people didn't have cellphones
>When I approach it suddenly I see it
>"Well fuck!"
>"These stupid faggots again..."
>The machine is almost full
>Of 80 slot only 5 are empty
>And I know why
>The cash and coin slots got tape and glue
>The NFC pad and card readers are busted
>The window is plastered with shitty papers against animal cruelty
>"Fucking hugbox cocksuckers!"
>Only thing they managed to do is keep these foals in their little canned hells
>Keep them from being adopted
>From being free
>You would think these trustfund pampered-ass oxygen thieves fucks could spare $200 or so to buy all foals in the machines and freed them
>But no, they wont, I asked them once and they did their best to avoid the question
>One then walked into an apple store and bought an iphone 30
>Can't waste the money on stupid shit like saving animals! gotta have that new phone to compensate for the fact they are dull fuckers with nothing to say
>Whatever, you take the papers out
>Call central to tell them they should send a technician with the restock crew to fix this shit
>You insert the master key to open the machine
>Immediately you are assaulted by a plethora of foal voices
>>691318940
>I really should start writing stuff,
At least try it out. When i tried, the booru was really nice. Aside from some anons... But Anons gonna shitpost. Nothing you can do about that.
>>691319147
>"BE NYU DADDEH!"
>"MISTAH TAKE TO HOUSIE NAO?"
>"WEA MUMMAH? MISS MUMMAH!"
>"FWUFFY HUNGEH, NO MO MIWKIES! NEED MO!"
>"HUHUUUUU PWEASE TAKE FWUFFY OUT!"
>Always the same shit
>Never a "hewo"
>Guess these shits are in too much pain to be friendly
>Or learn new words
>Then again a nerd in breeding told you they can't learn new words or concepts
>Is hasbio's genetic programming, that's all, they aren't really sapient, they are sentient but that's it
>And even dogs can learn new tricks
>But not fluffies
>Being artificial beings they are in an evolutionary dead-end
>The only reason why ferals are everywhere these days is because it only takes them 4 weeks to be born
>And once they are born they are fertile in another 4 weeks
>You can have over 14 fluffy generations in ONE YEAR
>So even if these things are designed to be broken by all
>They are also designed to outbreed anything else
>For every fluffy a dog hunts
>a cat eats
>or a human beats to death with a dildo
>For every dead fluffy another 3 are born
>They are not going extinct, which is good news for exterminators
>Back to the foals in cans
>I see a red pegasus filly who died from sepsis
>She looks like a super-pregnant mare
>Except she's still a foal
>And not alive
>Her face is frozen in shock
>Her fluff was already getting dull before it expired
>Most likely due to all the putrid shit destroying her from the inside out
>But the glue tampon held on, kudos to the R&D guys for that
>The can will be easier to recycle
>As for the fluffy, I just take the can
>Pop the lid
>And throw her and the piss-soaked fluff pad into the trash
>No time for goodbyes
>Still got another 74 cans to go
>And so the process begins
>>691319237
>I always start with the dead ones
>Is much easier
>Pop the lid
>Drop them in the trash
>Put the can on a bag for re-use
>Sometimes I find a dead fluffy that somehow managed to get the glue tampon out
>We don't know how they do it
>I suggested we put cameras so we can see what happens
>But boss says it would be too expensive
>Some dipshit suggested I get one of the tampons back for analysis
>Fuck if I'm gonna fish that tiny thing from a can full of liquid foal shit
>Today is a blue unicorn colt
>Well used to be blue
>Now is a dull shit brown
>The only blue left is a small spot on his back
>It was floating face down
>Drowned in his own shit
>This is bad................
>............now cleaning the can is too expensive so all gets thrown out
>What? you expected some hugbox crap?
>Be sad for this little fuck being too dumb to keep his own shit in his ass?
>Funny thing is now it will stay in the can forever
>I don't even bother to take out the lid
>Why for? the can is useless
>And I don't want any shit on my hands
>Down to 73
>Almost done with the dead ones
>Same old shit, mostly bloated ones
>5 fillies, 8 colts
>4 were pegasus, 3 unicorns and the rest regular earthies
>One light purple filly with a white mane was barely breathing, like a fish out of the water
>Couldn't say a word, didn't even move her eyes
>Then it stopped
>Dead
>Into the trash it goes
>Can in the bag
>Found other 2 that got the tampon off
>One yellow earthie filly, one pink unicorn filly
>Both dead, yellow one obviously drowned
>Pink one I'm not sure since it looks it died before that
>Probably a "wan die" cycle, it actually dies and the build up of gas pops the cork out
>And the shit flows out
>It happens
>Both into the trash, wont even bother
>>691319336
>Now here is a rare one!
>A starved to dead foal
>Is a navy blue pegasus colt
>Literally skin and bones
>Looks like a tiny miniature of those dead horses in the middle of the desert
>Fluff stopped growing, probably due to lack of nutrients
>The cause is obvious
>Faulty rubber nipple
>The formula pocket on the side is full
>Literally the only formula left in the whole machine
>Little fluffy didn't get a drop after it got canned
>Most likely was the first to die
>However its eyes are open
>"It lasted that long? damn!"
>Faulty nipples were a common problem at first but now not so much
>Not after they changed suppliers
>But still, it happens
>I don't usually care much about these shitrats
>But I feel a little bad for the ones that die like this
>Is a horrible way to go, even for vermin
>"Huuuhu wingie bruddah!"
>The live foal in the can behind the starved one is talking
>"Sissy missuh wingie bruddah! wan pway and hugies"
>Is a hot pink earthie mare
>Bloated but still alive
>Out of formula, wont last long
>"Whewe takin bruddah?"
>"Mistuh take fwuffy tu?"
>"Gib nummies and hugies?"
>I don't reply
>Bad idea
>These foals are desperate for attention
>If I give them any they will never shut up
>Is not that they are silent now, no sir
>But if I respond then the pleading and the crying will get worse
>And it never stops
>>691319396
>And now we arrive to the messy part
>Dealing with the live fluffies
>Remember when I said the company didn't take them back?
>I wasn't lying, they wont
>The cost of shipping them back was higher than getting new breeding-age fluffies
>Besides that way they also avoided genetic stock depletion
>Let alone retarded fluffies because a mare got inseminated by its own dad
>So I start with the hot pink earthie mare
>I take the can out
>I can already see her face changing
>Is happy
>Happier than its ever been
>She starts doing that stupid "dancie babbeh" routine
>Now the other foals think I'm taking her home
>And so the whinning starts
>"PWEASE MISTAH TAKE FWUFFY!"
>Is a chorus
>all the same
>Same promises about being a good fluffy
>About giving hugs and playing
>One fluffy mentions "sketti"
>"SKETTI! MISTAH HAB SKETTI FOR FWUFFY?"
>"SKETTI! FWUFF WAN SKETTI!"
>"SKETTI? WHEA?"
>Fucking hasbio and their fucking programming
>These shits have never even seen a picture of sketti
>Never had any sold food
>Have no idea what it is, could literally give them anything and tell them is sketti
>Then I hear it....
>"DUMMEH HOOMIN TAKE SMARTIE OUT!"
>"GIB SKETTIES NAO!"
>ohyiss.jpg
>Thank you god
>A fucking smarty foal
>A piss yellow unicorn with a shitty green mane
>Fucking classic
>He is bloated, but not too bad
>Can still walk around and bang his hoofsies on the plastic of the can
>I slowly put the can with the hot pink earthie mare on the ground
>Let the games begin
>Not all machines have smarties
>You would think they do but they don't
>The lack of interaction between foals prevents them from appearing
>They might be smarties
>But they don't know it yet
>Of course as always there are exceptions
>Statistics are never 100% right
>And here is the proof of it
>>691319510
>I take the can with the smarty
>And I sake it violently
>"SCREEEEEE! STAHP DUMMEH!"
>I laugh, smartys are so fucking predictable
>It starts the same old tirade....
>"DIS SMARTIE'S WAND!"
>Dumb fucker thinks it owns the vending machine
>I drop the can
>It crashes with a loud bang
>The smarty shits itself.......well he would if its anus wasn't full of glue
>I can see the muscle motion of a shit spray that all fluffies do, just nothing comes out
>It must be incredibly painful
>Fuck, I know it is because I can see the expression in the smarty's face
>"Huuhu why dummen hoomin huwt gud smartie fwend?"
>Well shit, normally it takes them more time to start pleading
>This smarty is one weak ass pansy
>I put my foot over the can
>Right where the smarty is, so he can see my boot approaching
>"NUUU! NU KILL FWUFFY!"
>Little turd is not even calling himself a smarty anymore
>What a coward...
>Can't deal with this shitstain here
>Last thing I need is all the fluffies here to start screaming
>It would get too much attention
>Last thing I need is some faggot taping the process and uploading it to youtube
>That would really rile up the peta cunts
>Even though they kill way more fluffies than I do
>And I do it in a more humane way since they bore them to death with movies about how they are abominations that deserve to die
>Like a fluffy would understand it and kill itself, retarded eco nuts...
>Besides I seen some of these animal fuckers abusing fluffies
>Bitches be sick, making up excuses when caught, so much bullshit...
>>691319563
>So I take both cans down the alley
>Is the same way I came, so I know it is there
>The foal-4-sketti kiosk
>This is one of the new models
>It doesn't actually gives sketti
>Just grinds the foal into a sketti-like pile of meat
>....and laced with quick-action painless poison
>First models just put a sterilizing agent to leave mares barren and stallions impotent
>But like hasbio's original chemical sterilizing it too failed
>Some fluffies became fertile again
>So now it just kills them
>Some cheap-ass fluffy owners who used these machines to save money in neutering fees found out too late
>Most didn't care, they wanted to get rid of their fluffies anyway
>Those that were pissed got a new fluffy free of charge, as if there weren't enough free ones out there
>And here I am in front of the kiosk
>It was designed to be used by fluffies so it's at ground level
>I take the smarty's can and open the lid
>"NAO GIB SKETTIS DUMMEH!"
>"Oh you are getting your sketti you little shit...."
>I turn the can and let the smarty slide into the slot
>"WAH DUMMEH DOIN? TAKE SMARTIE TO SKETTIS!"
>"Oh you are getting them...."
>The slot is at an angle so fluffies can't see what happens to their foals
>But a human can
>And I do
>I see the smarty fall right into an open meat grinder
>I see its bratty face as it realizes what's happening
>And I hear it...
>"NUU! METAL MUNSTAH! WET SMARTIE GO! HUUHUUU!"
>Too late
>Its stubby back legs are already being torn to pieces
>"SCREEEEEEEEEEE! CHIIIIIIIIRP CHIRP!"
>I can hear the noise of the bones cracking
>And a satisfying 'pop' when the intestines full of shit finally explode under the pressure of the metal teeth
>Its eyes and mouth are still moving before its all crushed to bits
>"Whewe smartie go?" ask the earthie mare
>>691318940
I have this idea about a reclusive scientist/fluffy breeder that works together with a no-kill shelter to do research on fluffy genetics, mutations, and behavior, as well as looking for a solution to the "smawty" problem, and stumbles onto something very different. It is partly hugbox, but with plenty of violence against both fluffies and the occasional human mixed in, as well as some sadbox (such as a completely barren mare). But I don't know if I'll ever get it written.
Oh well, this is the last pic from me for a little while, as I have a doggie that needs to go walkies lest he pee on the carpet. >.<
>>691319742
>She didn't see anything and fortunately the can is a bit soundproof too so it didn't hear the smarty either
>"Don't worry, I got a surprise for you"
>"Wewy? fwuffy luv suprisehs!"
>"How about some sketti!"
>"YAAAY! SKETTI! FWUFFY LUV SKETTI!"
>Wow what a screamer, we are not even close to the vending machine but I can tell the news reached the rest of the foals there
>Well at least it gives them something to be happy about
>I heard a 'ding' sound coming from the kiosk
>It means its done grinding up the smarty and putting the poison on it
>I hear a "plop!" sound a bunch of "sketti" gets thrown into the ground by the kiosk
>I take the lid off the hot pink mare's can and let her land on the palm of my hand
>"Finawy!"
>Is it getting bratty now?
>"Fawk u mistah fo wettin fwuffy out"
>Guess not...
>I hold her at eye level
>"So you want some sketti"
>"Huuuhu, fwuffy so hungy...."
>"But hav wowest tummeh huwties!"
>Oh right, forgot how bloated she is
>"Mistah hewp fwuffy make gud poopies?"
>Sigh, is not the first time, I remember when I started at this job I did it a couple times
>Out of pity
>Give these things some relief, for once in their short lives
>I get her at arms lenght
>Way away from my pants and boots
>Hold her in my fist
>Get some tweezers from my toolbelt
>Fumble around her back until I get a good grip on the plastic cork in her anus
>"Ok ready fluffy?"
>"Fo wut mistah?"
>"For this!"
>I yank the cork out while applying pressure to her guts with my thumb
>"EEEEEEEEE!"
>>691319862
>A torrent of putrid rancid shit goes out of the little foal like a cheap water balloon
>I gag at the smell, its really horrible
>"WHY MISTAH DO DIS TO FWUFFY?"
>Well shit, now I remember why I stopped doing these things a favor
>Ungrateful bastards...
>"Huuuhuu poopie pwace has huwties!"
>"Well now you can eat the sketties!"
>"YAAAAAY! FANK YOU MISTAH!"
>She completely forgot about what happened, typical
>Even chickens have better memory than fluffies
>I gently lower her to the place in the ground where the "sketties" landed
>"Mistah be nyu daddeh nao? take fwuffy to housie with bwockies and pway?"
>Of course she was going to ask for this
>Might as well say yes, is not like is gonna happen
>"Yes fwuffy, but first eat the sketti"
>"Whea daddeh goin?"
>"Be right back! but eat the sketti and wait right there!"
>"Otay! wub daddeh!"
>Meh, she will be dead soon, that poison will get her to sleep in under a minute
>Its already strong enough to take out several adult fluffies at once
>Safe for humans, dogs and cats though, better safe than sorry!
>>691319907
>Back at the vending machine
>Go back to inspecting the cans
>The rest of the fluffies don't even ask about the smarty, they just ask about the sketti and keep the "nyu daddy" going
>Some more desperate ones just want to be let out...
>Weird
>There's some blood on the wall of this can
>But the foal inside is still walking around
>I look around it
>The foal is a light green pegasus mare with a grey mane
>It turns around to face me
>"Plbbt?"
>The eyes...
>"Yep, derped"
>Is easy to see what happened
>It got crazy and tried to get out
>It happens, last time I got three on another machine
>Difference is those foals were stronger
>So they were dead
>They broke their own skulls
>This one wasn't strong enough
>Or the pain made it give out too early
>Now is just derped
>A retard
>And a very starved one since apparently it was too dumb to keep drinking the formula
>It had a little left, guess I missed on that earlier when I checked the starved dead fluffy
>Anyway, no shit, can is clean
>On with the show
>I move to the side to be closer to the dumpster and away from the other fluffies so they can't see
>Take the lid out
>However this is a live fluffy, can't throw it right away, goes against the ethics code
>As if anyone care...
>So I let it slide into my hand
>"Yiiiiiiii"
>Fucking derped fluffies and their noises
>So I grab the head, get ready to break its neck
>Apply a little pressure and.....
>"POP!"
>Oh shit
>Oh fuck!
>The head fucking exploded in my hand!
>The skull got weakened from all the banging in the wall of the can
>Now my right hand is full of fluffy foal brains, teeth, bone pieces and eyes
>"Huh, the eyes are still derped...."
>Disgusting, I throw the body and shake the pieces of brain off my hand, then wipe it with a tissue
>And now to the next can...
>>691319941
>Open can
>Move to the side
>Tilt can into hand
>"Yay fank you mistah!"
>Twist the neck
>Dump the foal
>Throw can into bag
>Repeat
>Open can
>Move to the side
>Tilt can into hand
>"Wub nyu daddeh!"
>Twist the neck
>Dump the foal
>Throw can into bag
>Repeat
>Open can
>Move to the side
>Tilt can into hand
>"Wan pway!"
>Twist the neck
>Dump the foal
>Throw can into bag
>Repeat
>Open can
>Move to the side
>Tilt can into hand
>"Wan nummies!"
>Twist the neck
>Dump the foal
>Throw can into bag
>Repeat
>>691320050
>Open can
>Move to the side
>Tilt can into hand
>Then a burnt orange earthie filly looks up to me
>"Pwease mistah can you wet fwuffy gu?"
>Huh, asking me to let it go instead of being its daddy, give it toys or sketti
>As if I hadn't thought about that long ago
>I knew a girl who did it
>She was on Cleanup Team-Beta, we talked about what if we set the foals free
>Give them a chance
>She beat me to it
>And thank god she did, because of what happened
>She went to a machine just like this one
>I saw the security footage from a camera in the 7/11 next door
>Opened the door of the machine with her master key
>Threw all the dead fluffies in the trash, can and everything
>Then took all the live ones, opened the lids as fast as she could
>Uncorked each foal over the trash can
>She did all this over 60 times, placing the fluffy foals gently on the ground
>The sound from the security cam was bad but I could tell what she was telling each and every single fluffy
>"You are free now! go! run!"
>>691319941
>>691307106
You faggots better thank me I was banned for 3 days for spamming mods at a shitposter filling the threads with ponies
>>691320100
>But they didn't
>Every single one of the 60+ fluffies stood there looking at her
>Saying "fank u" "nyu mummeh!" "pway?" "nummies?"
>Hugging her legs
>Doing the dancie babbeh crap
>Running around each other, playing tag
>Every pathethic attempt to grab the attention from their new "mummah"
>She tried to move them away with her hands but the fluffies would hug her fingers and try to climb her arms instead
>She got desperate, grabbed a few
>Started offering them to people walking by
>"Free fluffy foals! hey kids do you want a fluffy?! please take one!"
>Big mistake, she only got unwanted attention
>Which is really bad when you're doing something highly illegal
>This of course was after they passed the Feral Extermination Act
>Shit got real after that, you couldn't free fluffies anymore
>Then she approached a little girl and offered her 3 foals in her hand
>The mom slapped her fingers away from the little girl's face, sending the foals flying before they could even say "pway"
>Funny, not 5 years ago when fluffies were first launched by hasbio each of those foals was worth $10,000
>5 years ago my coworker would've been giving that little girl the equivalent of $30k
>And the mother just slap them away like trash, because that's what foals were now
>Trash
>>691320218
>They all landed on the street, none moved, the fall clearly broke their bodies
>Nobody gave a fuck, it was all vermin after all
>Some teenage kids started stomping the foals while their friends live streamed it
>The video is still around, is "foals_be_so_cash.mkv", they added a terrible vaporstep song to it
>Then the cops arrived, somebody reported her
>They arrested my coworker
>Animal Control got there with them
>Sprayed Fluffycide foal-b-gone foam over the foals, most of them still around the machine
>They all started convulsing, pooping and puking blood, crying out loud and screaming until they died
>The neck twist I give them is a walk in the park compared to that
>An act of kindness
>Due to the extermination act my coworker got 20 years for "illegal release of GMO vermin into an urban environment"
>Add to that the inflated bill for damages Foal-in-a-can gave her, she had to sell everything and is still in debt
>All for nothing, the fluffies died horribly
>And she's gonna be an old lady when she gets out
>I take the foal that asked me for clemency
>I see my coworker in a prison jump suit
>Then I slowly crush the foal in my hand
>"All you fuckers do is shit things up"
>Yeah I'm pissed
>Fuck you
>>691320115
Thank you. Have a smoothie.
>>691320324
Jose and the Cans
Part 2
By Gardel
>Jose throws the crushed orange foal into the bin, then takes a wet wipe and opens it, cleaning his hand off the guts, blood and shit
"What a waste......of a wet wipe"
"I should get my mind off this shit"
"I don't get paid enough to afford a shrink"
"And I'm sure gonna need one after this job"
What could I say?
This job really sucks
But so does the entire job market
And it beats being unemployed
Problem is I don't like being a walking fluffy death camp
"Still better than working at the fluffy mills" I said to myself
While I keep breaking foal necks I look at the broken display of the machine
It's a 7 inch OLED display that shows little ads for the foals
When people get near it a motion detector tells the display to show the current price
>>691320459
Most people don't know this but the Foal-in-a-Can machines have a variable price system
Every since the units went all online to support phone payments and NFC things have been connected to the company servers 24/7
It also stopped a lot of vandalism, first Foal-in-a-Can units were old repurposed candybar vending machines bought dirt cheap
Besides all the problems the biggest one were assholes tipping the thing over
Most of the foals would die upon impact, the rest slowly freezing to death because the broken machine would no longer provide heat
Some even died from the shock of suddenly being in complete darkness since the internal light went out too, and the window was against the floor
In short the machine now has a tipping alarm that goes off and alerts central
Still hasn't got a camera because "too expensive" which is why those vegan fags just fucked up the money slots and sensors so people couldn't buy the foals
Back then they would put a rubber hose through the slot to gas the foals alive
What the fuck is wrong with these sick bastards? one of their shoes is more expensive than all the foals in the machine combined, can't they spare a few bucks instead of killing them?
Then they go and brag about caring for fluffies, fucking cunts...
>>691320499
Anyway, back to the price part
When a machine gets a fresh batch of brand-new foals with the eyes still closed the price is at its highest
$5 a foal
You might think its too high but again these are not the best foals out there, a shelter would sell them for $0.25 each
Still much better than the ones you get for free, let alone feral foals already full of tapeworms
Point is its expensive because the foal is still intact
Its eyes are closed so its less traumatized because it hasn't realized its living in a plastic tube
Is also when foals are in their cutest stage, lots of people prefer foals before they open their eyes
Before they start talking
Before..............they get annoying...
>>691320552
Nothing scares away a customer like a bunch of cans full with fluffies screaming "DUMMEH HOOMIN"
That was a rare batch, practically all smarties
Central got it called back immediately I heard
Also heard the head of distribution went fucking medieval at those foals instead of grinding them as usual
Lets just say becoming pet food would have been a better ending for those smarties........it was that bad
Anyway, so as time passes the price automatically goes down
This is to move as much inventory as possible
Even at $0.50 a foal is still profitable since again this is cheap stock
Foals are practically vermin these days
Worthless, and sending me to clean them up is more expensive
So eventually word got out through the forums that if you waited you could get 10 still-alive-just-barely foals for the price of 1 fresh out of the factory Foal-in-a-Can
>>691320605
Of course at this stage most fluffies were always already kinda grown
Eyes opened, talking
.....and a bit fucked up from living their entire lives in a plastic transparent can
Even at those prices most people just keep walking and wait for the fresh batch instead
So who goes looking for cheap bargain bin fluffies in just okay non-shit colors?
Specially ones that are already walking, seeing and talking?
Ones that can beg for their lives?
Yeah you guessed it
Abusers
Central knows it, they don't give a fuck
Abusers' money is still money, and they need to keep the lights on
Gov' basically endorses abuse these days since they are already wasting billions culling feral herds tearing through forests and crop fields
Is what happens when the novelty wears off
And when people realize corn is 20 times more than it used to because some GMO rat-pig-goat-WTFBBQ chimera plague is eating away their food supplies they don't give two shits when some weirdo is clubbing said chimeras with a pipe in the middle of the street
>>691320675
"I don't like it but its a necessary evil" they say
As long as nobody fucks with their pet fluffies most hugboxers don't give a damn either
Most of them hate ferals too because they attack or steal away domestic fluffies
Two months ago I had to clean a machine out in the projects
Nasty part of town, but then again one of our core markets
People here want a fluffy
But they can't afford one from a fancy fluffy store
And there aren't any shelters nearby
So no competition
We make a killing here
Well, most of the time
And this time wasn't one of those times
Batch got too late
Too far away from the last payday
So people had less spare cash for buying junk like novelty cans with tiny bloated shitrats inside
And so this particular unit had a lot of foals at the end of their shelf life
Well, had....
>>691320745
When I got to it there were only 14 foals left
All dead
Mostly bloaters
Some ruptured ones with their guts out
Others drowned in shit, ones that got decorked
"Well shit, guess business is going well" I thought
Then I used my company phone with the management app to check the stats of the machine
"Yeah.........no"
Sales numbers showed up on my phone's screen
Only 1 guy bought a fresh $5 foal
One guy
"We're fucked" I thought
The other 5 foals got sold at $1.50
However the big majority went away in one big-ass sale
Remember the rumor going up in the forums?
Well, some kids tried it
They went to the machine and waited
But didn't buy
They decided to come back the next day
Same day I had to come by to get rid of the old dying stock
However they discovered something
You see, price actually can go even below $0.50
If you go to a machine the same day is due for cleaning and restock you can get a foal for just $0.25
$0.25, that's nothing
That barely covers the bulk price of the can
At this point you are basically getting the foal for free
>>691320816
So those kids put $15
And walked away with 60 foals
Sixty foals man....
Remember when the cheapest fluffy at launch was $10,000?
And those were the brown ones, the ones that today are only good for snake food and sold by weight
The ones in this machine could go for twice that, easily
You do the math, funny how fluffy prices plummeted
To think some people back then bought a fluffy as an investment
They got fucked in the ass after the peta fags accidentally made fluffies cheaper than hamsters
So I got rid of the 14 dead foals left in the machine
Quickest cleanup I ever done
Waited for the restock guys to show up and take the cans
I left while they were placing the new batch of foals in
I started walking back when I saw them
The kids
With the bag full of cans
They were 3 teens, one of them holding a camera
"Yo yo here be Tau-Dawg with my hommies and this is Prankin' wit fluff!"
"What? youtubers doing pranks?"
"This shit still exists?"
Well damn, they were one of those groups of dumb kids thinking they could make money with shitty internet prank videos
This crap was already getting old when I was a kid
How many of my friends burned money trying to become a youtube star?
Even then we knew the game was rigged, that you needed to be sponsored by a media company to get anywhere
But then again if you're a kid living in the fucking ghetto is not like you have a ton of options
>>691320857
So I just stood there watching them from a distance
Seeing what they'll do with the foals
At that moment one of the kids threw a can to 'Tau' or whatever his name is
It had a cyan pegasus filly scared as shit
And also full of shit
Practically a baloon
At this point Tau made some dumb gangsta gesture and said some weird slang shit
"The fuck happened to swag? remember when we all said swag?" I asked myself
So Tau then looks at the camera and proceeds to open the lid
The little filly comes tumbling out of the can
"Yay nyu daddeh! daddeh hewp babbeh hav wowsest tummieh owies!"
It never ceases to surprise me how fluffies can switch from being scared as fuck to being all happy and hyper
"These things sure are dumb" I thought
Then suddently memories came flowing back, from the girl from the Beta-Team helping the foals, and the stupid shitrats just staying there...
"Yep, too dumb to live" I said to myself
"Shut up biach!" Tau screamed at the fluffy
The foal just stood paralyzed, not knowing what to say
Tau then looked around, then pointed at some old black guy waiting for the bus
"Aigh niggas watch dis!" he said to the camera
In a split-second he throwed the foal at the old guy
"EEEEEEEEEH--" SPLAT!
The mare just exploded when it touched the guy's right shoulder
Like a baloon
But filled with shit, guts and blood instead of water
"WHA THE FOCK Y'ALL LIL' NIGGUHS DOIN' AHH!" screamed the old guy
He was blinded by the foal's putrid shit
Fluffy guts hanging from his arm
>>691320908
"Aww sheeit nigga look at that nigga look at dat!" said one of the kids pointing at the base of the Bus stop
There was lying half of the filly
Well, 1/3 of it
Head, part of the torso and the left front leg
Rest gone, not even the wings
The kid with the camera ran to it, completely unfazed by the old guy swearing at him while trying to wipe the fluffy shit out of his face
He got really close to the foal
It was still moving, trying to breath, its lungs exposed
The filly opened its mouth and moved its eyes, like it was trying to say something
Suddenly...
*CRUNCH*
"You just got pwned bitch!"
Tau's foot just destroyed the filly in one quick stomp
And all I could think was
"Seriously? "pwned" is back? fucking kids are using "pwned" again now?"
Yeah, not the worst I seen
And while that death is not as good as the neck twist I give the foals it still beats dying slowly inside a can
I guess....
So that's what the kids kept doing
Pranking people with bloated foals
Throwing them at old people
At other kids
At cars
At the side of a building
They didn't throw any foals to the usual gangsta thugs
These kids were downright retarded, but not THAT retarded...
>>691320966
They would open a can near the ground, let the foal slide out
Pet it, tell it it would get 'sketties'
"Fank u nyu daddeh! fwuffy luvs n--" the little red unicorn colt got cut out by a swift kick
It went flying through the street, screaming all the way
Then the cork went out in mid-flight
The colt went into a spiral of shit before falling to its death
Tau and his "crew" were going nuts over it
Most likely the highlight of their video
Well I guess it was...
I didn't stick too long after that
Didn't see the end
Too bored of the carnage
Too bored of watching foals dying in increasingly horrible ways
Tau put a can with a gray and white earthie filly on it
Made it beg for her life while he slowly crushed the can with his feet
"NUUUH PWEASE DADDEH NU KIW FWUFFY!"
It begged
It cried
"NUH KIW FWUFFY! FWUFFY AW FO' LUV AN' HUGG--SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Bitch got stranped!"
What?
'stranped'? the fuck is that?
"Fuck it, I'm leaving"
And that was the end for me
Back home I checked youtube for Tau's channel
Less than 100 subs
"What a fucking loser"
Even my shitty Overwatch LPs got me more subs back in the day
Man that game sucked, can't believe they made 20 more
Even CoD didn't get that many sequels
But hey at least the last one finally bankrupted Blizzard
Too bad EA is still around though...
>end of Jose
Fuck off with these lame ass fanfiction, I want pictures! Pictures of fluffies, not long texts!
>>691307217
woow shit just got real
>>691307217
>hasbio research and development
>tank 023
its just factory where they make fluffies, some are good, pony-like little shits, some are not good, like that carpenter-thing-like-monster
>>691320115
Thank you. You have done a great service to us.
>>691319806
I am back, currently eating homemade ice cream with strawberries on the side. Life is good dot jpeg.
>>691320115
>shitposter filling the threads with ponies
Oh, you mean larry?
He is still around. But his mom send him to bed now, so we can post.
>>691321415
Story time best time.
>>691323350
Larry's a fucking cunt.
>>691322979
Fluffy Breeding 101.
>>691307968
shit it's on now
>>691323983
>Larry's a fucking cunt.
I like to pretend he is just some misguided teenager that would like to fuck horses.
But yeah. Fuck Larry!
Don't you die on me!
>>691323850
I would have use a shovel to behead the snake as soon as the smarty was gone. Then "requested" one of the foals as payment for saving the herd. That way, the feral fluffs would have continued to graze, saving me from having to cut the grass, I would have gotten a babbeh fluff to do with as I pleased, and there would have been one less poisonous snek in the neighborhood. Win/Win.
>>691324241
He seems like the kind of guy that would sneak into an enclosure at night to rape a sheep or goat. Probably Welsh.
>>691323983
>>691319806
that's sort of what woes of a new owner is about
>>691325288
>the kind of guy that would sneak into an enclosure at night to rape a sheep or goat
I imagine him standing on one of those little step stools and enfing a shaggy shetland pony.
He seems to like horse vagina, according to his pics.
>>691325798
This one i like a lot. "Left alone Fluffies" is kinda my thing, i guess.
>>691325548
Possibly, but there are twists and turns (and a "fluffy rights activist" that loses one of his nuts to a surprisingly aggressive fluffy).
>>691325975
>>691326077
I told you give him food, water, and to change his litterbox faggot.
Now change that shit or else I'm not buying you a beer.
>>691325471
So much kek.
>>691325757
He'll probably need a step stool to fuck sheep anyway. >.<
>>691326005
For some reason I really like this one...
>>691326303
Yeah, posted that many, many times. But Foxhoarder never made that 3rd panel to relieve the suffering.
>>691326494
>For some reason I really like this one...
I know why!
>>691326856
Powies Bwutawity!
>>691307217
You have to build progress on something, you know?
Ah, it's been a while since I drew a fluffy mutant. I should grab my pens again. I miss my fluffy mutants and tentacles. Damn Bloodborne for eating my drawing time.
>>691326972
You have no civil rights, scum.
>>691326835
You do?
>>691326494
This one is pretty great as well...
>>691327139
Wait, you gave up drawing Fluffies for a god damn videogame? What is wrong with you?
>>691327251
I love the expression on the gator's face.
>>691327300
I didn't give up. I just got slower, that's all.
>>691327139
You should draw fluffies in bloodborne. Someone posted Doom Fluffies the other day.
>>691327251
I want to build an iOS and Android app
What if I did a runner game for fluffies
>>691327251
>You do?
Totally.
First, its a classic. Second, its very basic. Just some Fluffies in day care. Third a Fluffy is in the process of learning to behave. Still takes a while, and it whines and bitches. But it will be redeemed!
It's refreshing not to see someguy confronted with a herd of red smarties with horns that just invaded his precious lawn and enfed his alibi-hugbox-fluff.
And then he proceeds to fist all of them with a cheesegrater made out of lava and mustard gas while claiming justice.
That about right?
>>691327139
So do you just like, chant Iä Iä when you draw that stuff or what, Dust?
>>691327682
Doom he said.
The ceiling is spaghetti. The captcha too.
>>691327825
Nah, it just makes me giggle like a little school girl over what is essentially a fart joke.
>>691327609
I know, right?
>>691327682
It's a hard life to be a feral fluffy in the wilds, most foals never reach adulthood.
>>691328230
Its a fart joke?
Overthinking is my hobby.
>>691327682
Golly, that's a great idea. Maybe I should try just that.
>>691327938
Huh? No, I just play horror movies behind my back for some stimulating soundscape. Lucio Fulci's stuff and others. Or I listen to jew songs.
>>691328547
Did somebody say farts?
>>691328547
Feeding beans to a fluffy and lighting it on fire to catastrophic results is, essentially, a fart joke.
>>691327956
Kek
>>691328230
This one also makes me giggle like a madman.
>>691328677
So you aren't like, full on in red velvet robes with candles and incense and a little basalt cthulhu idol?
>muh headcanons :(
>>691328844
>Feeding beans to a fluffy and lighting it on fire to catastrophic results is, essentially, a fart joke.
Ooooh, i thought you ment >>691326005 because you linked it.
>>691310915
>*Charp* *Chop*
>>691328837
Kek.
>>691328844
It's interesting that fluffy ponies are deadly afraid of even the smallest alicorn fluffy.
>>691328844
So, in my headcanon Fluffies cannot climb trees.
>>691329435
Nah, I just tend to link to my own posts in threads like these, makes it easier to get an overview.
>>691329608
Stillbirths are sad, sad, thing.
>>691329092
Nope. I have a garden right under my window. I grow roses, hydrangeas, lilies, chrysanthemums and sunflowers. Plenty of plants in my attic too, and, sadly, no tentacles. I have a Cthulhu ski mask though, if that helps.
>>691329715
Good thing we don't actually see it climb a tree then, ain't it? For all we know it could have used a ladder, stairs, or even a series of complex pulleys.
>>691329880
But have you at least read the work of the master H.P. Lovecraft?
>>691329863
More sadbox.
>>691307217
This is a Dead Space reference isn't it
>>691330237
>>691330166
>>691330124
Still not a fan.
>>691330262
>don't actually see
Yeah, that artist is smart i have to admit.
>>691330262
Got them all collected on my shelf, right next to Poe's and Edith Wharton's works. I'd love to get my hands on Thomas Ligotti, but alas - all I have are pdf's of his works.
>>691329880
Maybe?
>pic of mask?
Bump
post stories about the industrial fluffy market and how they are treated.
>>691330653
Yeah, Ligotti's work is damn hard to find a physical copy off.
What is your opinion of August Derleth?
>>691330262
Carnival Time!
>>691330410
ok
>>691307968
Actually there are more
>>691307106
aayyyy been lookin for one all week long.
>>691331543
So much kek.
>>691331361
Apparently a sturdy pillow will suffice as a relief valve for male fluffies that have hit sexual maturity without access to a mare. Who knew?
>>691331777
>all week long
You can always check out "that other board nobody talks about" where there is also always one.
If you need your fix.
>>691331361
Never actually got around to read him. I'm not
quite sure about starting with other authors of the mythos. Is it worth it?
>>691330727
>>691332465
Yes, its all better now! :D
Fluffy thread not a h.p lovecraft thread
>>691332465
>>691332668
Also, it is worth it. The guy who wrote all the Conan stories is the best other Mythos author.
>>691332465
The King in Yellow is pretty good, can't really speak for his other works, but he is considered one of the best contributors to the expanding mythos and was one of Lovecrafts penpals.
>>691332125
So... I just discovered there are sea fluffs...
Bump
>>691332757
That's motherfucking DUST COLLECTOR asshole. Best scarybox artist out there.
Show some fluffing respect.
this is a good thread
>>691310892
Honestly I would be worried about him nipping my dick/ball sack every time I came for a shit.
>>691333058
>>691333058
Thats why you remove the teeth?
>>691332917
New to sea fluffs eh?
>>691332757
Both.
>>691332917
Yeah, the King in Yellow is great. Algernon Blackwood's Wendigo and Machen's Great God Pan are awesome too. But I've never tried C.A. Smith or Derleth.
>>691332917
>discovered there are sea fluffs
Check out Garden Fluffs.
They disappeared to fast into obscurity.
Here, have some Quickhorn to illustrate.
>>691310310
>>691310377
>>691310405
>>691310915
What "box" would this be considered? This is beyond weirdbox.
This shit cracks me up. Where's the one "stop stabbing me"
>>691333780
Have you seen dust fluffies or sugar cube fluffies. I have few somewhere let me see if I can find em
>>691332757
But the best fluffy is an eldritch horror (and technically unkillable). They don't like it on fluffybooru though, as it is accepted on ponybooru.
>>691332839
You're kidding right? Although Robert E. Howards works contributed to the mythos, that nutjob (seriously, he murder-suicided his mother) was fringe at best compared to the likes of Lovecraft and Derleth. He contributed next to nothing to the mythos itself while drawing extensively from it to populate his sword and sorcery books. His only notable contribution was Crom, one of the weaker of the outer gods. That said, the Conan books are pretty good.
>>691332917
Plastic bags are one of the top ten killers of urban feral fluffies.
>>691334066
>sugar cube fluffies
I've went on a "old story binge". Pulled ~4k stories from the booru via a script and read random ones on a 8 hour train ride.
Read quite some "cotton candy" fluffs.
But yeah, sugar cubes not so much.
>>691333613
>>691333770
>>691333871
I always feel bad reading this one. Probably because it's so well done (just like Goldie).
>>691334187
August Derleth is SHIT. That asshole retconned the entire Mythos with his gross misunderstandings, and was a terrible writer to begin with.
Bump
>>691332178
do you mean /trash/?
>>691334407
There is at least one illustration I'm looking for it it's a small series depicting a cube mummah and babbehs with no real explanation at first as why they are cubed. But the scene is set outside and in the next scene an actual horse picks up a cube baby and eats it with the mother and siblings screaming of course and the next scene is the farmer telling no one imparticular that the sugar cube fluffs were a great investment and nice treat for his horses
>>691334408
Genuinely smirked at your joke. Good one
Dust here. Leaving the thread to draw some flufies with renewed zest. You guys are the best. Cheers.
>>691334973
Shhhht. You attract butthurt mlp fags that spam horsevagina there too.
>>691334985
Never seen that. Sounds funny.
>>691335325
Naice!
Image Limit reached. Hewp!
>>691327956
He should have a sorry stick instead of spaghetti
>>691335631
But then the Fluffies would run away, woudln't they?
>>691333221
Yes but would still be weird to sit down on the toilet right after waking up in the morning and he starts gumming your nuts.
>>691336200
I gum my nuts EVERY MORNING since i was like 12.
>>691333346
Pretty much.
>>691333569
He did coin the term "Cthulhu Mythos" which stuck in peoples minds a lot better than Lovecraft's own "Yog-Sothothery", and his works tend to be a little more optimistic than Lovecrafts. But most of it is fairly good. I can recommend "Shadows in the Attic" and "The House in the Valley" as a good starting point for his work, and then decide where to go from there.
>>691333780
That is pretty interesting...
>>691333793
I know right, they're fucking hilarious. Perhaps "Surreal-Box" would be a good name for them, they go far beyond weird after all.
>>691334870
And yet, it is his retcon that is the basis of the mythos as it exists today. And much of what he did was done with permission from Lovecraft himself. Don't get me wrong, I love Lovecrafts works to bits, but the mythos needed help to become as successfull as it did, remember, he died poor because his works didn't sell, they are wordy and complex stories that the average consumer just doesn't get, and a rare literary treasure trove because of it. Derleth made the mythos more palpable for what, at the time, was a mostly christian audience. He may not have been good, but without him the mythos would never have reached the popularity it now enjoys.
>>691334187
Aw shit, we reached the image limit! Successful Fluffy thread is successful.
>>691318832
good read
shit that's powerful
>>691335949
I dont fuckin know
>>691336814
New Thread.
