Waifu claiming thread. >Claim your Waifu/Husbando >This
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Waifu claiming thread.
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>This is not /b/, this is /mai/
>No stealing (unless trips or more)
>No oversexualised content
>No RP of any kind (maybe some on occasion)
>Discussion is welcomed
>Insults must be original
>Unless the insults involve old men and money
>3D is almost always trash
>Down with democracy
>Most importantly, have fun!
Shiro claimed.
Hello
>>690599196
Angry Claim!
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>690598520
>Akibro
>Story time?
I could greentext it but nothing much happened, just got into a fight, threw up a fucking lot and went home
I'd rather get drunk alone, with really good friends or with you guys too
>read french in your post
I am proud
Pour la République :^)
>>690598526
>Tohsaka
uh-oh
Claimed
![Syndra [6].png](https://i.imgur.com/FoxmqGg.png "Syndra [6].png")
>>690599196
>>690599243
>>690599271
>>690599284
>>690599305
>>690599314
>>690599348
>>690599378
>>690599398
>>690599399
>>690599415
>>690599424
>>690599457
welcome back everyone
except you jerk-chen
>>690598664
No, it's not. I'm pretty sure it's not
>>690598686
>I'd suck your dick, girl
>>690598729
The Maximum FUCK is not just one middle finger... it's THE Middle Finger
>>690598783
nah, that's a common misconception actually. You don't even go so far as to actually buy a rope just for this.
>>690598787
Not only you my friend
FUCK THEM
>>690598812
>How do I deal with being trans
I only dress up as a girl for conventions and stuff like that.
I keep my body shaved etc.
I haven't transitioned, free healthcare doesn't help me, so I'm going to private healtcare. Just got a job and then I'll pay my own counseling.
>>690599075
but it's still french!
Also I don't gamble
Best type moon claimed.
Is Kyouko still around?
>>690599484
Thanks!
Still here
>>690599378
Just kidding
>>690599415
~
>>690599484
I, Brother-Sergeant Kollon, of the Imperial Fists have been attached to the Angry Marine Chapter. In my first week training with our brothers, I had the privilege, of sorts, to encounter none other than their chapter's Reclusiarch, Mofo. After completing the morning firing rites alongside the Angry Marines, I made for the closest lavatory to relieve myself before battle practice began. The firing rites, as dictated by the Codex Astartes, involve squads honing their skills with ranged weaponry. While my fellow Astartes of the Imperial Fists attained perfect accuracy and precision with our bolters and sniper rifles, our less restrained Battle-Brothers spent most of the time missing their targets with the few bolters they had on hand. After expending his ammunition, each marine would charge down the firing lane to smash the pristine target with his bolter, his hands, and anything else within reach. We began to suspect that this non-codex treatment of ranged weaponry was the cause of the shortage of bolters in the Angry Marines' armory aboard the Litany of Litany's Litany.
I had deactivated and removed the appropriate sections of my power-armor, noticing the raised dais in the center of the lavatory chamber about which all the commodes faced. Many print copies of the legendary Codex Astartes lay upon this dais, and I found it odd that the Angry Marines would partake in the custom of reading while relieving oneself like so many of the Imperium's cultures do. I had just sat down upon one of the commodes along the bulkhead when Reclusiarch Mofo entered the chamber.
>cont~
>>690599651
He wore his full set of armor, not even having removed his helm. He is larger than the average Space Marine, and carried his signature Crozius, Fag-Basher. It is platinum, and shaped like a great fist holding an Imperial Aquila token with the middle finger extended.
The Reclusiarch tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment of my presence and sat himself down upon a commode near the one I was seated upon. I quickly expelled the contents of my bowel, and experienced another tortured minute while the Reclusiarch violently did the same with much loud swearing and oath making. It was then that I realized that the commodes in this lavatory did not have a bidet function like most toilets of the modern Imperium. I had just turned to ask the Reclusiarch how his Chapter went about cleansing themselves when I saw him reach out to one of the copies of the Codex Astartes. He opened it, and Emperor preserve us all, ripped a page from it, and began cleaning his backside! I cried out,
cont
>>690599378
>I'd rather get drunk alone, with really good friends or with you guys too
I'm honored. Getting smashed on your own tempo is much more relaxing for me
>French
est maintenant, quand nous abandonnons
>>690599484
You literally just did
>Megumin claim
>>690599729
Cont!
"This...THIS IS HERESY!!"
The Reclusiarch became a blur, a lightning strike of motion. Instantly his crozius was alight in his hand, its power field sending blue energy flicking out from its surface. "HERESY!!! WHERE!!?? WHERE IS THERE HERESY, YOU FISTFUCK ARSE-STRUMMER!!??," he shouted at max vox amp. He stood there, his head rapidly scanning the entire room for any sign of heresy, with the soiled page of Guilliman's life's work still wedged in his backside. It was the most astonishing sight I have ever seen in my centuries of service, and before my gen-enhanced senses could even register it, he had planted Fag-Basher in the bulkhead just centimeters from my head. "DON'T FUCKIN' STARTLE ME LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING CUNTBREATHED, PISS-ENCRUSTED, ARSEWART!!!!!!" he roared right in my face. Mofo then turned back to his toilet, and angrily finished cleaning himself with the torn codex page. He closed his armor, and ripped Fag-Basher back out of the wall causing me to duck. As he walked through the portal to the lavatory, he turned and shouted, "BATTLE PRACTICE STARTS IN THREE MINUTES FUCKFACE, SO BREAK IT OFF AND GET A FUCKING MOVE ON!!! IF YOU'RE LATE, I'M GONNA REPLACE ALL OF THIS TOILET PAPER," as he gestured to the copies of the Codex Astartes "WITH YOUR HANDS!!!"
He then stormed down the hallway, leaving me stunned on the toilet. I looked at the copies of the Codex Astartes, a holy work written by the Emperor's own loyal son and the basis for everything I have lived my long life for as a Space Marine. I had the choice of defacing the codex, or undergoing the foulest penance I had ever been threatened with. This was only the first week of a decades long deployment with this Chapter!! Had the Emperor abandoned me?
>>690599314
azusa
>claiming yume
>>690599651
>>690599729
>>690599775
oh, it's the one were they use their bible as shit tickets ahaha
they are truly some magnificent madman
Does anybody have the waifu discord
>Megumin
>>690599484
hello
>>690599271
Never thought I'd see Ui...
>>690599613
np
>>690599747
yeah! But not with money or life!
>>690599891
greetings
>>690599484
I'm home!
![Syndra [144].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/b52mcWp.jpg "Syndra [144].jpg")
>>690599627
...no?
>>690599884
Which one? there's like 13 of them
>>690600032
>not betting with your life
You don't know how to live man
>>690599627
>>690600077
>>690599939
You noticed, she isn't a common claim but I do come by and post her now and then since I'm not a regular
>>690600184
Idk mang
Anyone i guess
>megu
>>690599580
Yes.
>>690599484
That's why I recommended getting it in advance.
>>690600054
welcome home Fran
>>690600184
Obviously I don't, I mean look at me
>on /b/
>on /waifu/
>claiming genocidal maniac
>>690600333
nice trips... they... confirm... dammit
>>690599484
Thanks Chara~
>>690599627
Were you~?
>>690599747
Yeah true, I hate trying to follow others when drinking
>unless it's a drinking game
I had to google translate that French into English just to understand kek
>>690599271
Nice to see a Ui claimer.
>>690600077
Yes~
>>690600443
Maybe~ :^)
>>690600311
I'll be here the whole day, we'll talk when I get home.
Just wanted to wish you a relaxing day.
>>690600415
Time to take a shower, I need one
>>690600284
You got a battlenet tag?
>>690600443
kek
this is when we give up
Yea the drinking games are fun as hell
Following people is pretty dumb anyway. I usually watch the drunk people and then get myself equally smashed after
>>690599305
I want to love you :(
>>690600837
Well thank you.
I wish the same to you.
>>690600958
Nope
>megu
>>690600484
nice to be a Ui claimer
she isn't around as often as others but she does get posted now and again
I haven't finished renaming all of the images either
>>690601001
You know who I am?
>Prove it!
>>690600930
Fran is getting wet.
Have fun
I'm having my traffic code exam Friday in the morning, time to learn everything in 4 days.
>>690601149
Well I'm not really sure but there's probably only 1 possible option.
>>690601260
>time to learn everything in 4 days.
Why do you do this to yourself.
>>690601260
Kancolle?
>>690601486
blonde*
blonde for women, blond for men
fucking idiot
>>690601260
I can help you
All i need is a set of walkie talkies and a tall hat
>>690599271
>>690600712
True
Yeah they are, especially when the drunk one is denying his drunkenness kek
>>690600712
Keeping it secret? :o
>>690601467
This one reminds me more of it.
>>690601452
I work better under the pressure of timelines. Been like this my whole life.
>>690601608
kek
>>690600965
I know, it must be hard. That's probably why no one else does.
>>690600415
Good old' trips, always there when no one else is.
No longer a NEET.
>>690601709
I fucked up, first reply was meant for >>690600958
kosaki claimed
>>690601802
How are you silly?
>>690601831
Neat.
>>690601831
Nice, what job did you get?
Sakuya is best meido
>>690601831
So how are you wasting your time from now on?
>>690601709
I remember the first time we did drinking games
>Why are we losing this much?
>Why didn't I see that guy?
>afk alerts
>Birb still getting potg al the time
>running into walls
>Forgetting to queue up
Good times
Froppy Claim
>>690601831
You are an inspiration to us all.
>>690602217
>>690602120
>>690602096
Fudge Packing.
No but forreal it's just a warehouse order picker.
>put 30 of this on a pallet
>do that 2000 times
Fuck it. Income is a necessity.
>>690602308
>explodes froggu
>>690601802
I guess so hehe
Wie geht's so?
>>690602375
congrats on getting a job
Gonna go for a bit be back later
>>690602375
I work in Fudge Packing
Like literally
I pack the fudge to be shipped off to stores
>>690602540
Fukken kek
>>690602601
Deustchbag
Nein, guten tag
>>690602661
Thanks bro
