anon,
what's the worst thing you've ever done ?
>>690588798
Worst, I'm not sure. I did fuck a hooker in my girlfriend's bed recently, which is a Bad Thing to do
>>690589012
Been there, probs my worst too.
Question is, will you do it again?
>>690588798
i replied to an idiot once..
>>690589092
I have, and I will continue.
>I have no self-control.
Will you do it again?
pranked the japanese ambassador
had sex with my cat
lured my doctor into sex
hard to say
>>690589187
when?
>>690589300
Is your cat okay?
>>690589202
Currently setting up my next one as we speak. Too fucking addictive by far.
>>690588798
when I was about 5 I killed a dog because I thought it was a toy or something. One of my earliest memories and it's awful.
When i was in 8th grade i figured out the password to my crush's email and spied on her for months.
>>690588798
licked my sisters pussy with her friend watching
>>690589300
wat
>>690589358
yes
put cheese on my dick and had the cat lick it off
didnt work
>>690588798
more plse
>>690588798
>what's the worst thing you've ever done ?
loved her
>>690589470
Cheese is more of a dog thing, probably.
Fooled around a little with my best friend's girlfriend
>>690589300
I really need for you to greentext all of these experiences. You know, for science and stuff...
Jacked off in my little sisters mouth...
>>690589463
Greenext nao pls
Stole panties from my crush's backpack, sniffed and put it back. Should've kept it.
>>690589322
you see...no one is innocent..
>>690588798
stole a packet of chewies from a 7/11, felt like a dick later then when back and payed.
>>690589463
story?
>>690588798
sauce?
Helped my friends rape a girl.
>>690589467
the doctor one?
when i was 8 the doctor use to check my temperature by putting my penis into his mouth or sometimes i would check his
went on for two years
eventually my parents found out and after all the hulabaloo it was decided i was sexually precocious and had lured him into it
he eventually was shot by one of his other male patients
>>690589300
Greentext the doctor story please.
>>690589583
story please
>>690589542
Fuck
>>690589553
How does that even work, like in what way does greentexting change it? Is greentext somehow indexed?
/Newfag
>>690588798
I made a bitch who I hate fall in love with me because I hated her so much and I wanted to own her completely
>>690589781
greentext now please
>>690588798
Made a machine that turned water to food. Launched it up in to the sky to end world hunger then it started to over heat. The food got bigger and crushed the town below. Everyone died but they still made a movie.
>690588798
i masturbated over a dead girl from my school
>>690589781
>>690589553
>be me
>expo 86 (i am old)
>see at the expo giant japanese diorama of transportation
>im working at comic shop golden age collectables
>we have a godzilla doll
>cut the doll in half and a ttach a flag to his back like samurai saying "godzilla lives"
>go to expo and put doll on diorama
later they found it and decided it was cool and moved it to another part of the diorama and had army and emergency vehicles responding to him
the ambassador saw it and yelled "GODZIRRA"
for the doc one see >>690589787
I fingered my little sister in a movie theater while I sucked her tits. Fucked up but the shit was cash.
>>690590105
Close the door on your way out would you?
>>690589542
>>690590075
Samefag. And also a huge faggot.
>>690590105
Are you fucking retarded? It's called elaborating you stupid bitch.
>>690590166
what did she look like? both alive and dead
>>690590127
Was she busted? Did you hate fuck?sounds hot js
>>690590203
How does one go about initiating this?
>>690590228
not until late august
>>690588798
Post on 4chan.
>>690590274
I didnt see her dead obviously but she was the sluttiest in my school and died in a car accident.
>>690590349
Very well, please be quiet until then.
>Lurk moar
>>690590272
how the fuck would anyone whos really new here make that connection after just reading "greentext that" lol
>>690588798
dumped long term girlfriend so I could go off and shag a few other girls, mostly because I was high as a kite - undiagnosed bipolar, first manic episode. She loved me, and I realised about a year later that I missed her and had done a terrible thing. But by that time she had moved out of the country and I didn't see her for nearly twenty five years. We met by accident - and have been together now for two years. Love can last, and conquer all, but I still feel shitty about it.
Also once strangled a cat, but that is small stuff in comparison.
>>690590191
That's actually breddy cool. Thanks bro.
>>690590338
Well for a long time, I was a shitty brother to her. I finally realized that I cared about her and we ended up getting really close.
>>690590127
Then what happened?
>>690589787
>>690590513
yur welcum mum
>>690590482
Things that never happened. The thread.
>>690589542
deep. too deep.
>>690588798
fucked tons of hookers, did lots of drugs, sold drugs (sometimes even when i knew they were shit (pills with no MDMA etc)), fucked girlfriends of a couple of guys i knew, otherwise mostly standard stuff
had sex with the lights off in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
>>690590513
No, thank you
drive by at my own sister's quinceanera
>>690588798
S-sauce
I slung a full can of Dr. Pepper into a guys face as my buddy drove past him at about 60 miles/hour. The guy was walking along the rode side minding his own business. We saw in the news later that night that he died. We never got caught
>>690590899
Dubs confirmed, you are one sick fuck, anon
I went to the Swedish embassy in Oslo and wrote Swedistan on the wall with black paint.
>Mfw I am the ambassador
>>690591026
i want to stab you so bad right now
Did my cousin in her sleep when I was like 12.
>>690590999
trips of truth
you should sue that Southlands show for ripping off your intellectual property
>>690588798
coming to this thread probably
>>690591150
Consequences
>>690590482
man i feel you. i also have bipolar and was in manic episode when i met my friend whom i fell in love with. but i only realised it when we didn't talk anymore because he found someone else and i got really sad about it. i think about it every day four years later.
>>690591118
You're probably to fucking fat to get out of your chair so I couldn't be less concerned fago
>>690590513
nope
I think I'm a monster, I chat with women just to make her fall in love and then i dissapear without no regrets, it can take one month, one week, one year but I will success, I fake everything she needs to hear or see to accomplish.
Then I read the emails, the message they leave me and feel happy.
>>690589542
You sappy cunt
>>690591348
im actually quite skinny mate
>>690590129
>drunk slut at a highschool party
>got her on my car and drove her to my boys house
>tag teamed her for a while
>dropped her off at home.
>>690589463
Greentext
>>690591406
Im sure you are still a fucking worthless cuck
I did coke with my best friend who works as a cop. And then I sent an anonymous e-mail to his office claiming that he does drugs on a regular basis. Needless to say, they did end up drug testing him.
He got fired, and now we do coke every weekend. I'd say it was worth it, but it feels batman sometimes
>>690590075
>>690590797
>>690589542
Same massive fucking faggot.
Kill yourself you "look how deep I am" faggot.
>>690591500
at least i dont make things up on 4chan to get off
>>690589549
Nah, peanutbutter's for dogs.
>>690588798
Years ago on the O2 mobile network, there was thing called Bluebook. Which basically archived SMS messages, MMS messages, phone records etc direct from the network as a backup for users phones. Thing is, it pulled all the data straight from the network rather than from peoples devices. This is key.
At the time, I had more than a sneaky suspicion that my (now ex) girlfriend was cheating on me. I setup Bluebook on her phone while she was sleeping, and created a web login. I could now read her messages before she'd even read them without her ever knowing. I could even see what she had sent.
I quickly found out I was right and dumped her, but still had access to Bluebook.
One extra feature of it, was you could send up to 10 SMS messages a day through it. I quickly signed her up to a bunch of these subscription based "daily joke" or "daily ringtone" services that rape you for loads of money each month, then deleted the confirmation texts before she could retrieve them so she didn't know. That probably cost her a lot before she realised when her next bill came.
>>690589787
lol
>>690591568
Like telling me you're not fat? We all know you are disgustingly fat your piece of shit
>>690589787
>8 yo and is doctor fug
>who's fault was it?
>8 yo obvi
>Be me 18 with a girl for half a year
>She's 9/10 but pretty fucked up
>Get with an 8/10 that is normal
>Tell 9?10 the truth and I want to break up
>She says if we break up she'll kill herself
>take bluff
>She hung herself that same night
>still with 8/10 and its better pussy anyways.
>>690590899
sicko
>>690591670
lmao im actually not but you make up things which never happened aka I threw a can at someone and I pretend to look edgy on 4chan, what are you a gay 14 year old?
My ex got wasted and started following me while talking shit. So I walked into an alley, waited for her to get there and threw her in a dumpster. Then I knocked her out and walked away. She woke up there next morning, and I don't think she remembered.
>>690590513
>>690588798
your mom
>>690590482
Faggot please.
>>690590513
Warning that if you respond to this you'll get cancer. I'm on chemo right now because of this post.
>>690588798
I shot up Columbine high school and got a pair of idiots to take the fall.
>>690591514
You're a hero anon, keeping the streets safe.
>>690591693
things were different in the 70s
i had 4 parents for a while there
>>690588798
Probably molesting my cousin while play fighting. Made her cum, but i think it really fucked with her head. Shes a lesbian game designer now, so thats pretty cool. Not sure how she feels about it but we're cordial, she hugs me at family gathering and I don't feel any tenseness but I can't help but wonder. We were both underage at the time so it wasn't anything illegal but I was a 3 year older
>>690588798
Went over seas as a drive . Couple convoys got shit stolen from them when they stop while on patrol. Ordered not to stop anymore . On main road , family on motorcycle and a single bike on mopet. Not enough space to pass withough hitting something . Hit single guy and keep driving. The cops came to arrest me but my chain of command stopped them. Spent rest of my days inside the wire .
Still can't drive to the beer store
>>690591796
You probably wish I were you sick ass pedo fat body. Go to a gym and lay down the cheeseburgers. You're gross
>>690588798
Had sex with a girl in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.
>>690588798
I once tried to live a normal life.
Turns out, nothing in the world wants that to happen.
>>690588798
probably cumming and pissing in my wife's 3 little sisters food and drinks
I also love getting random dudes to tribute them
!test!
>>690588798
I killed a whole family in Irak, including children and pets
>>690591026
Please be telling the truth.
Can you find a link to the news report?
Did it specifically mention that he was hit by a can of soda?
That's fucking awful but for some reason I'm delighted.
>>690591711
KEK
>>690591966
Choice between single guy on mopet and a family on a motorcycle*
>>690592071
how old?
>>690588798
sucked off my cousin
>>690589583
story
>>690591514
What was your motivation to do that?
>>690592151
well right now they're 17 18 and 20, but i started when the oldest was 16
>>690591711
>Says getting good pussy and not getting guilt-tripped into a relationship is the worst thing he's ever done.
You are a fucking saint.
Stole a ceramic cardinal off an old lady's birdbath.
Bullied my Mother while she was an alcoholic to the point where I punched her when ever we argued.
My Father was exactly the same with her when I was a kid until they divorced
Strangely enough she has forgiven me...
>>690588798
Well anon
I'd have to say browsing /b
>>690589418
You are a living example why I hate children.
>>690592071
I uhh hope this is not real.
shit on the living room floor as I moved out of my apartment to spite my landlord. This was about 2 weeks ago
let my extremely young adopted sister suck me off
>>690592380
Found the summerfag.
>>690591125
story. now.
>>690590513
NOT THIS AGAIN
Was 6 pulled pants down and let brother and his friend touch me and hold hand fan to my cunt. Became a fucked up maso later and love perverse shit.
I once gave a homeless man a fake $20 bill.
>>690592421
it is, i juts can't stop doing it
>>690592493
Kinda hot.
>>690592457
hot, how young? did she swallow?
>>690592505
Damn, that's cold.
>>690592548
How long have you and your wife been married?
>>690592493
My dick hard, meet me somewhere.
>>690592071
I'd almost forgotten about the time I worked as a general assistant at a daycamp. I put away the kid's lunches in a big walk in cooler. There was this terribly cute little asian girl , I memorized her lunch box. One day she had tuna sandwich, I spanked it into the sandwich and found an excuse to walk by at lunch. She made a face but swallowed like a good girl.
Stole money from my dying grandmother
>>690591026
If this is true, you do know you deserve to die right
>>690592457
storyyyy
>>690592113
Sadly no.. I have tried to find it before but it was over 15 years ago when I was in high school. We lived in a small town and they didn't really put a lot of stuff on the internet. I looked for it in old news articles from surrounding counties but to no avail. It did say in the paper that they believed he was struck with the soda because it exploded when it hit it. It wasn't open. I was so terrified that I tried to act like it never happened. I didn't really want to save the paper like a serial killer lol. I didn't want the guy to die, I just wanted to bounce that can off of his face for a laugh. I hate what happened but fuck it I guess. Im sure someone will kill me in a shitty way so karma can laugh some day.
>>690588798
sauce?
Worked as an old bus driver. Took these kids to a farm area. Sat out side of bus eating there lunches. Some old bag though it was that damn Sasquatch. Kids got back on bus with piss on their pants.
>>690592457
How young?
>>690592477
>>690588798
>be me back in '99
>bet my friends Eric and Dylan 50 bucks they wouldn't shoot up a school
>lose bet, but they don't show to collect
>mfw
>>690592088
dingdingding....we got a winner.
>>690590513
faggot
>>690592225
Well we always did coke together before and shit was so cash. So I thought getting him fired would help him realize that coke > police. And it did.
I got him a new job afterwards, and now he's mall security in my hometown. But he did want to be a cop. His dad before him died a cop, so I guess that made him glorify the profession. But it's still a shitty job
>be 14
>best friend is 15
>he has a younger brother, who is 10
>his younger brother thinks I'm just the coolest person ever because all his brother's other friends won't talk to him or let him be part of the group
>he gets me in to yu-gi-oh
>I'm not a sore loser so I don't mind playing with him even though I have no cards and don't know how to play the game
>long story short, I got him to suck my dick, I sucked his too, eventually ended up fucking him
>>690588798 put my penis in a toaster to give it a little bit of color. thought it was too white. deffinately did the job.>>690588798
>>690592649
together 6 years married 2
>>690592670
very hot, i love when you can tell they taste something off but don't speak up
pic is oldest girls panties and mouthgaurd
>>690592941
>>690592088
I wish you were my soldier... I would have had you take one to the face and blamed it on the haj... Worthless fuck.
>>690592682
Also talked my ex wife into an open relationship after being caught cheating, then left her for the woman I cheated on her after she fucked some dude telling her I couldn't be with a slut.
Also stole my ex wife from my best friend who was madly in love with her while they were dating. Also was getting head from her every day before he came home from work then she'd pretend she was sitting outside the house waiting on him the whole time.
>>690592071
My wife loves it when I cum in her friend's food. I'm a very good cook as well, so her friends like eating at our place. Nothing quite like my wife blowing me and furious fingering herself while I tell her what I did and how they gulped it down.
>>690593037
Are they never home? its summer where are these young fuckers now a days?
>>690590513
Fuck
>>690592580
Only for Asian eyes and Dick bro.
>>690589300
>had sex with my cat
>>690589300
Nice
>>690590166
how did you get into the morgue?
>>690592361
Did she take care of you, or just let you do whatever and didn't give a fuck?
What I'm asking is, were you a piece of shit preying on your own mother for having an addiction but struggling to be a better person, or did she deserve it?
>>690593210
Then ate it? Fuck you core g
>>690588798
Be born, I've learned to live with it especially since just my very existence is just irritating, I sit here minding my own business, and I still piss people off. Its kinda beautiful
>>690593200
This that gud dick
>>690589463
fuck that's a good story.. more details please.
the friend watching makes it better
>>690592998
Didn't expect that.
>>690588798
When I was 16, I woke up in the middle of the night because a 3yo boy was fondling my balls. I didn't stop him and he ended up sucking me off. I never moved or said a word but I've always felt bad. Last year, I finally saw him again. He's like 14 now and he had no clue who I was. I def got some gay vibes off him, though.
>>690588798
i've done a lotta bad shit. i'd have to type for longer than i have time for
>>690592670
>>690593037
Get help.
>8yrs old
>kid in philly gets stabbed over Pokemon cards
>my school bans Pokemon cards
>day 1 of 'ban'
>kid brings full collection of cards
>300+
>teacher catches him - takes cards
>kid flips out
>goes hysterical
>teacher walks him to principal
>student teacher runs trap
>2 friends distract student teacher
>anon does a snatch and grab
>hide cards in backpack
>toss backpack over school fence at recess
WHEREAREHISPOKEMONCARDS.JPEG
>friends and anon split the haul three ways
>kid was hysterical for weeks
>free 100 Pokemon cards
>>690593371
Nah need the real stuff
>>690588798
raped my girlfriend in vegas when we were drunk, she cried the whole time and said no. I forced her to tell me she was my younger cousin while i fucked her cause that turned me on at the time
>>690593110
Also made my best friend's autistic brother suck me off a couple times.
>>690593489
How do I know you even femanon
>>690593136
They all live with my MIL about an hour away, the come stay at my house pretty often. whenever they're out doing whatever girly shit with my wife i go through their bags, usually when i know they're coming i save up some cum in the back of the freezer and add it to most of their meals. They say they like my cooking but sometimes i can see in their faces it tastes off lol
>>690593129 love this, i want my wife to jerk me into their panties
>>690588798
>be me
>grab a bunch of anime girls pics
>enter every fuckin' waifu thread
>claim a fake waifu every time
>never claimed my actual waifu
>>690589676
And they say ima fagot
>>690589012
I drugged my girlfriend so she'd fall asleep, took her atm card, and got 150 to get a hooker in amsterdamn
>>690591796
Lol, one of my best friends pitched a 32 oz fountain drink at another buddy walking down the highway. Just to be a dick. They were gonna stop and give him a ride home to change. But, it hit him in back of the knees and he took a fucking dive from hell.
>>690593421
Oh I'm long over that and am a productive member of society etc.
Just never trust a teenager. If its a girl and smaller then a mag-lite its been in their vagina. If its a boy they've cum on it.
>>690593527
Pretty fucking hot tbh. Any "naughty" pics of oldest? Will do tribute.
>>690588798
SAUCE?
>>690593524
You don't but I don't think you have that yellow skin either so oh well
>>690588798
pretend not to be a fucked up pervert so that a girl would fall in love with me. Then slowly told her more and more of how twisted I am sexually and watch her despair as she desperately tries to accommodate my bizarre fetishes and realizes the man she loves is a fucked up pervert
>>690593284
Who said anything about a morgue?
>>690593502
My wife wants me to roofie her and rape her (so she won't remember). Don't know where to get roofies though, never been into the whole "drugs" thing. Also scared of her just up and dying because some nigger sold me arsenic by mistake or some shit/
>>690591375
I mean really you should kill yourself, you are actually a burden for the world
>>690593778
My step dad is Asian but that about all I got m'lady.
>>690592903
Chris Farley?
>>690592973
So... Paul blart > LEO ....? Kill yourself faggot. He could of still done blow with you.
>>690593584
Drugged her with what? Did she figure out what was happening, and would you do it again?
>>690590166
I capped to a dead girl..... That ass though
>>690590513
hate this post
>>690593290
She put food in the fridge, but there was more beer than stuff for me. She still had a job but would drink too much the night before. It was happening for a long time from when I was in school to when I started college. I just had alot of problems going on, but so did she. I wish I treated her nicely. But I ended up in a psychiatric ward after trying to kill myself. We've both changed and she has found a new husband and I've found my own place to live now.
tl;dr I'm not so much of a violent twat anymore, but neither is she.
Raped 17 different girls and gotten away with it.
>Go on a date
>Be nice
>Invite them back to watch a movie
>Just force them on the bed and fuck them.. i'm a big guy they can't do much
>>690593961
Which dead girl? Have a pic to share?
When I was a sophomore in high school, there was this really cute new girl. She immediately started having a fight with a female friend of mine. So, I made a website that basically just said "click here if you think femanon is a bitch."
I've never seen someone cry like that because of me... not like this.
>>690593916
Lucky you
>>690590513
fuck
>>690593569
Absolute madman
>>690593746
i wish, i've always wanted to get into one of their phones to look for nudes but they keep them locked
>>690594000
checked
>>690589300
Gonna need to hear the Japanese ambassador story
>>690589012
That's not bad, it's awesome. I wish I had the balls to do it.
>>690594000
Mannequins find it hard to fight back.
>>690593971
>Hates post.
>Replies to it.
>>690590513
i hope you die
>>690590513
fuck you
>>690594000
How come they never go to police?
>>690590305
Go on
>>690594259
In Japan, more scared of their parents than the police
>>690589552
You are human garbage and the reason why marriages never last longer than a couple years anymore.
I fucked my girlfriends best friend. I came all over her face and then I made her apologize for being such a whore to her boyfriend on facetime
>>690594355
Stay classy.
>>690588798
i raped a turtle
>>690594000
Nice trips
Don't you think if you've already gone so far as to go on a date and things are going well enough for her to agree to come back to yours for a movie, don't you think you've got a pretty good chance of having sex without having to rape her? Or do you enjoy the rape part about it
Also if they know where you live why didn't they report you to the police?
>>690594259
because his fantasies do not include policemen.
>>690594359
Yeah, you are total scum. You don't deserve to even have a best friend.
>>690590699
lost
Well I was out drinking with some friends and then clubbing, got to drunk and had to crash at a friends place.
Woke up remembered nothing after left the club.
But apparently I had gone up in the middle of the night and took a shit on one of his dinning room chairs and on the carpet.
Couldnt eat for days after that, I mean holy shit (No pun intended)
I fucked my next door neighbor who is an escort while my wife was in the ICU.
>>690593995
That's good to hear anon.
>sucked my ex's dad cock after he broke up with me
>told his mom
>they divorced now
>regret nothing
>>690594449
in my country maybe the girl wouldn't go report to the police.
She'll just pay some hitman something like 200 bucks to torture and kill the sucker
>>690588798
beated and then raped a boy who menaced to rape my sister, i dont really know if that was actually a bad thing, but his life went down after that and now he is a huge faggot that would suck anyone's cock for some bucks
>>690594449
enjoy the rape part.. It's not kinda hit and strangle them rape.. more of, ignore the no's, and just take off all their clothes and fuck them rape.
80% leave happy and come back for seconds.. 20% delete me off Line, never talk to me again.
police are a bit useless, also they are more scared about embarrassment and shame than anything
>>690593584
Unlicky bro can get a stunner there for 50 euro and a nog for 40
>>690594639
good little slut
>>690590127
and then when u woke up while in the 8th grade... lol fag
>>690590899
Fuck you man.
>>690591003
Jessie Rogers- Truth or Dare
>>690594463
I would like to not believe him, but I do.
>>690590513
>>690594424
how
>>690594424
greentext
>>690594794
it's the fun part of 4chan.
faglords make up unreasonable stories, and sperglords "Want To Believe".
>inb4: I raped an UFO female Martian
>inb4 inb4: she wasn't an inflatable doll
Fucked girlfriend's stripper best friend. Told me I was better than her boyfriend at the time.
>>690590105
Fml.
>>690588798
Hit a car quite badly and drove off without leaving details.
>>690593098
>>690592958
Sensitive millenial faggots detected.
Fuck camelniggers.
>>690591375
You're a Fucking sociopath, faggot
>>690590458
Lurk more and stfu
>be me 14
>just finished school
>suddenly need to fap
>get naked
>photoshop sister's face into 100 boy CP pics
>print them all out
>arrange them all on the floor
>prop up a mirror so I could watch myself
>keep fapping and edging it for about thirty minutes
>moaning YOOU NASTY LITTLE WHORE GIVE ME YOUR HAIRLESS DICK I WANT TO BITE IT OFF
>ejaculate boiling hot jizz all over the pics
>collapse panting and sweating
>nearly black out from the joyful orgasm
>look up
>realize I'm in McDonalds
i shove a potato in somones vehicle exhaust pipe
Secretly planted dog feces in someones mailbox
>be 7
>abused by neighbour's teenager daughter and her friend
>enjoy it
>made me give anal sex to the one girl regularly
>Take male cousin (same age) into woodland behind my house
>Force his trousers and underwear down
>anal rape him
>Feels absolutely nothing like what the girls did
>I was really upset
>>690588798
i fingered my old sister (19) past week. Im feeling bad but all night i fap for this memory. I guess i'll try to fuck her...
>>690592088
Why'd you do it?
>>690590999
fuckin beaner..
>>690588798
I don't rewind my BluRays before returning them to Netflix.
I also throw seeds at birds.
>>690590999
Please elaborate friend
>>690591987
>>690591796
wew summerfags are here
>>690594359
Man...sometimes I fascinate of that my ex peg me with a strap on...
I imagine it feels like that....
But yes, he is a piece of shit
Spent 5 days (10 hour days) writing software so that I could in real time monitor my gf's phone including location and chat history.
Had to reverse engineer how this unique chat client of hers work to reconstruct the chats.
That was 3 years ago.. The program even marks off what I've read so I don't need to check it twice
>>690591026
You know it was mountain dew you lying POS
>be home alone
>sister has used bathroom before she went out
>toilet is playing up
>hasn't flushed properly
>one of her turds in the bowl
>rubbed it all over my dick
>painted my nipples brown
>licked it
>scat tastes salty btw
>beat my dick like it owed me money
>came buckets
>felt guilty even as the jizz was erupting from my balls
>had a shower
>had another shower
>and another
>never did anything like that again
>Be me 13
I was taking care of a little girl and we were watching a movie, I think nightmare on elm street (the original one)
Being a foot fag that I am, I gave her toe a big suck
Went to restroom and masturbated
>>690595228
>this unique chat client of hers work
Ah yes, your gf's unique, artisanal chat client that no-one else has that she somehow uses to talk to...
Filed under shit that never happened
>>690588798
framed a guy for cp
(douche deserved it. cheated on his gf with a younger hotter girl. then gets gf pregnant)
fuck him
>>690592453
Pewdiepie is that you
>>690588798
I killed a man in Reno, just to watch him die
i didn't pay for WINRAR
>>690591375
In all honesty I wish I could get a girl to like me but its just not gonna happen
>>690595151
godamn you just gave me nightmares you sick motherfucker.
>>690595228
Just get a new gf fucking hell
>>690595445
Your nightmares gave me nightmares
#triggered
>>690595228
Wow, show me great one.
I just started to learn to program.
I put a key logger on my old computer and went through my exs emails and fb but nothing good
>>690590513
fuck this meme
>>690594135
I mean, try it. What's the worst that could happen?
>be taking a shower
>wash ass with shower head
>little spray of hot water shoots up my hole
>feelsgoodman
>do it some more
>couple of wet farty bubbles squeak out
>get hard
>push shower head up my ass and spray boiling water on prostate
>balls starting to twitch
>suddenly I'm ejaculating semen and diarrhea
>boiling diarrhea shooting from my mouth and nose
>bathroom flooded with septic half-digested food and semen
>sister comes in, starts writhing on the floor massaging stinking semen mix into her vagina
>don't you ever knock?
>she starts giving birth to puppies
>every puppy has my face
>>690595343
it's called qq.. you wouldn't have used it or heard of it but 500 million people do. Also everything was encrypted.. so that was a pain in the ass as well. (but the key is stored with the software which you can extract with the password).
second problem was I had no idea which chats belonged to which users until i worked out the key they were using was actually the first 20 chars of the md5 hash of the username... file under did happen
>be 15 years old
>on school trip to a fucking zoo
>animals and so forth
>go in elephant house
>oh god it smells so fucking bad
>stench of elephant shit is burning the back of my throat
>feel something grab my waist
>elephant picks me up with its trunk
>srsly wtf
>forces me up another elephant's vagina
>for no good reason I get naked
>walking round inside elephant's womb
>holy shit my sister is in here too
>suddenly everything starts shaking
>look out of hole in cervix, see huge elephant penis thrusting in and out
>we both reach down elephant pee hole and massage it from inside
>feelsgoodman
>it's throbbing and pulsing
>hot steaming semen starts to erupt over our arms, flooding our womb prison
>I punch my sister in the tits for a laugh
>she is so turned on
>massaging elephant cum into each other while I punch her tits and kick her in the cunt
>we're still in there
>zookeepers push sandwiches up elephant's cunt for us
>we have wireless internet in here
>>690588798
I've had consensual heterosexual sex in the missionary position with my wife for the sole purpose of procreation with the lights off.
>doesn't seed torrents either
>hates chocolate milk, too
>be 13
>Have huge crush on girl for a year
>Sit near her all the time
>When i make jokes, she always laughs
>One day I take her to this spot on campus at lunch
>Touch her boob
>She takes her shirt off
>I take my pants off
>she sucks my dick
>i start fucking her while she blows me
>I came in her pussy and her mouth at the same time man
>>690590513
Mom! He's going to kill me!
>>690595648
thank you for your contribution
one day you'll be free
>>690595561
This sounds legit
>fucking random girl I met in bar
>blond hair, white dress
>she tells me to put it in her ass
>fucking her good
>"I'm gonna cum!!!"
>she turns her head, looks at me
>it's Jesus
>>690595715
>be troll
>not even good one
>go on 4chan and make shit up
>>690595617
Just think, if you weren't such a retarded dipshit you could have googled it and realized that something so vulnerable used by 500 million users would already be cracked
http://forensic.belkasoft.com/en/analyze-qq-chats
>you didn't write shit
>>690590105
Lurk moar, it's the best way to learn things. It's more than just
>greentext
but it's a unique style of writing as well.
>>690595283
I hate when that happens
>>690593762
>>690589764
http://www.redtube.com/537444
>>690595431
>be me
>lying in bed
>decide to see what 4chan has to offer this afternoon
>look at this thread for about 30min
>get up and grab first shirt i see
>johnny cash shirt
>return to 4chan and refresh thread
>this is the most recent post
Illuminati conformed
>>690595648
>I punch my sister in the tits for a laugh
This is where I drew the line
>>690595852
Licked my cousin's feet while she was asleep.
>>690588798
I'm engaged but I've been talking with an old girlfriend recently, I lied about being single and we talk all the time, literally she's the first and the last person I talk to everyday. I really care about her and I'm thinking about her constantly. I live with my fiancee and I don't really know how she hasn't realized I'm falling in love with other girl. I feel really bad about it.
>>690595852
>go on 4chan
>fall for bait
>literally too stupid to see how painfully obvious the bait is
>call anon out on it
>>690595857
>http://forensic.belkasoft.com/en/analyze-qq-chats
1. Have you even heard of belkasoft? you can only buy shit if you have a huge amount of money.. and i'm pretty sure you have to be law-enforcement
2. I searched absolutly everywhere.. github, google and baidu.. the closest i found was some guy who'd cracked the 2012 version which did give me some clues.
3. coding is not difficult
>>690595852
>go on 4chan and make shit up
>implying every other post in the thread is legit
>be bumfuck africo
>ex marine dishonorably kicked out cos pot + guns = awesome
>be mercenary
>on uppers now 24/7
>roll through some shit village
>really full of black hungry dumbasses
>i shit you not there is fruit tree or something two clicks south
>suddenly feel this intense hate
>just turn vehicle mounted 50 cal at bunch of kids
>tktktktktkttktktk.exe
>limbs all over the place
>people screaming
>driver and rest couldnt give less shit they are either drunk or high
>but suddenly they do, guns out the windows and down go the niggers
>start throwing grenades at houses, actually land one in a "well", basically a brown water hole
>absolutely fuck all their shit up just roll into sunset
>get paid in cash
am now retired at age of 30 and live in seattle
god bless marine corp for kicking me out, i might have just ended up as one of those hobo vets
When I was 8, I had sex with my neighbors son. Only oral, but the weird part is I regret not fucking him in his tight ass. I got scared, while he was sucking my cock and put my clothes on and left. Our parents found out, but did nothing. They eventually got kicked out and haven't seen them since. I still do not consider myself a faggot as it was something that happened when I was too young to know what I was doing.
>>690595561
>>690595648
Love this pasta.
>>690596097
You are completely and utterly full of shit
>>690595791
confirmed by youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I19lVVK44GA
>>690595679
UNFORGIVABLE
>>690588798
I banged your mom
>>690593762
http://www.redtube.com/537444
Name is Jessie Rogers
>>690592083
KYS
i voted for trump in my state's primaries
>no fucks given
>will vote for him in november
Idk, /b/, which one is the worst?
>Dated a really messed up girl that was abused as a kid, she tended to pass out whenever we got too hot and heavy. She said she wanted me to be happy and it was ok for me to continue as long as I used a condom. I never did. She broke up with me after the forth pregnancy scare to go to a mental hospital.
>When I was 17, one of my neighbors that I was close with had a 8 year old niece live with him for 3 months because her mom went to jail. She developed a huge crush on me. While we never were alone together long enough to do anything, I pretty freely grabbed her nipples/butt and would have done more if I ever got the chance, and I know she would've gone for it.
>I dated a transgirl for about a year, mostly because she had a huge crush on me and I was bored. I never saw her junk for the first 4 months because she had so much disphoria from it. When she finally let me see it once when she was drunk as hell, I found out it was ~8inches+Thick and demanded she use it on me. She cried as she fucked me in the ass but it felt SOO fucking good. This continued till we broke up.
>>690591605
Kek well done anon. Very well done
>>690592088
Shit like this makes me not like military fags they talk about killing innocent people like its such a big accomplishment to mankind please KYS
>Had this one GF
>didn't like her very much
>Talked all the time
>told me my dick was to big for her to give me head or anal
>loyal as fuck gf
>get drunk at bar with her one night
>bunch of guys hitting on her,
>she's only girl in the bar other than staff
>just before last call does her with zanax
>we walk to guys place around the corner
>start drinking there, with 5 other guys
>she starts passing out I ask if I can put her in bedroom to sleep
>get okay
>I fuck her while shes passed out
>leave her naked in some dudes bed
>as I'm leaving tell the guys they can do what they want with her
>Next day she calls asking what happened
>I tell her she left with 5 guys and ditched me
>Tell her all five guys said you fucked them
>she starts crying
>Turns out all five guys did fuck her
>she knew something happened
>just not sure what
>Call her a fucking whore and break up with her
she is now side girl i can share with my friends
>>690596551
This is a thread where people say the "worst" things they've ever done. This guy obviously isn't proud of it if he's posting it here, just saying what he's done
You retarded faggot fuck
>>690590513
>quinceanera
>>690591514
Doing coke every weekend is the opposite of the Bat.
>>690590513
Not today
>be me
>be 15 or 23 or whatever
>be getting out of shower
>walk across to my room
>fall downstairs
>towel flies off
>land on my sister
>knock her unconcious
>all the blood rushes to my boner
>accidentally her bunghole
>beat her peepee to a bloody mess with a cactus
>she wakes up
>tell her she fell off her bike and hit her head
>I still sometimes fall downstairs onto her
>>690590899
I've seen disturbing things in 4chan, but this is the Sickiest shit I ever saw. You should be kept in a cell like Hannibal Lecter.
>be me
>be 36
>have new baby sister
>rape her completely in half at the pelvis
>tell parents it wasn't me
>flawless victory
>alpha as ungodly fuck
>>690591711
>Be me 18 with a girl for half a year
How did you manage to be 18 for only half a year?
>>690593037
Your gonna get caught anon
>>690588798
I fucked a friend's gf
He was a good guy, I was too
I was a kissless beta and by the time I got my shit together a little bit
Her gf bought all the good guy shit I had, this friend had a really small penis. One thing led to another, we ended up having savage sex (lose my v-card there)
Kept going on for like 3 months and then we parted ways
He later found out that "something" happened between us so they broke up
Eventually he forgave me, he really didnt deserve it tho
I keep fucking the bitch from time to time, now she wants to cheat on her new bf but w/e.