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What's the worst thing /b/ has ever done? I have a few

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What's the worst thing /b/ has ever done?
I have a few
>be 13
>go to bathroom during YMCA swim practice
>open random locker
>take some guy's keys to his infiniti
>flush down the toilet
>changing after practice
>every locker open
>man frantically checking every locker for his keys

>be 13
>be at the same YMCA
>take a shit on the floor
>mfw i see the janitor leave that bathroom
>>
>>690190105
>be 12
>walking home from school with friend
>find big rock
>drop throw it at a car's windshield
>run away
>>
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>>690190105
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>>690190854
>giraffe
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>>690190854
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>>690191433
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>>690190105
>be 14
>at school
>lunch time smoking weed with a large group of other kids in the wooded area behind the school
>bell rings
>mostly everybody went inside
>only like 5 of us left
>notice somebody left thier grey hoodie behind
>we decide to all take turns pissing on it
>>
>>690190105
>be me 12 year old bisexual dont know it yet just like girls
>masterbate frequently to odd things i happen to be thinking about
>at friends house
>its nighttime and he is sleeping
>i decided to go to the bathroom
>magazine of cars and stuff sitting on a bathstool
>i flip through it and find an ad for a car with a yeti on it for winter tires or some shit
>instant volatile erection wont go away
>jerking it for a few minutes while standing upright
>i have never stood up why jacking off before
>hear footsteps coming to the door
>my friend hears me grunting and fapping
>he opens the door
>i cum as he sees me horror on his face hold up a picture of a yeti chocking my cock and upon orgasm i let out a long moan
>quaking orgasm shakes me my knees buckle under me and i cum all over myself
>he runs out of the bathroom
From then on i havent ever been able to stay standing up while cumming my knees always give out and i fall down.
>>
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>>690191578
>be 16
>on top of tall apartment building with friend
>has roof terrace with big stones as decoration
>drop on roof of a car parked below
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>>690192011
not really a bad thing, tbh...
just unusual to beat off to a yeti
>>
>>690191578
Theres also been countless times my friends and i went out at night to throw stuff at moving vehicles. And once we drew dicks all over some guys brand new white pickup truck with black magic markers and spray paint.
>>
>>690190105
Peed in a girls mouth while BJ

Broke up with a gf immediately after Cumming in her while she was wearing cheerleader costume

Killed a pet fish while I was young

Got into a ton of debt and lied to my family about it

Fucked nearly every best friend of my exes after breakup

Banged a girl, then a year later her sister, then a year later their mom

Let black friend put his dick in my ass

Stole hundreds of condoms

Rarely ever drive the speed limit

I dunno OP probably one of those
>>
>>690190105
>shoot up the school with my best bud dylan
>>
>>690191527
Source?
I want to hear her scream
>>
>>690192283
Idk i thought it was a pretty bad thing to do scar my childhood friend like that we never talked much or hung out after that i just graduated high school with him and the last time we talked was like on facebook and we ignored that ever happening.
>>
>>690190105
oh, I remember her. The feels.
>>
>>690191527
I recognize those nuts. They're from an ohio buckeye. I was whipped in the face with a branch loaded with those suckers once and it hurt like a bitch. The insides of them are also poisonous apparently.
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>>690192315
fucking exes after breakup is prolly the worst one you listed.

>be 15
>good friend's mom dies
>i dont know how to handle it
>stop talking to him

>be 13
>made friends with new kid at school
>has little brother
>bully little brother relentlessly
>almost certainly scarred
>>
>>690192315
>Fucked nearly every best friend of my exes after breakup
Doesn't sound bad at all, sounds to me like success
>>
I have so many i am not posting full stories.
>burn animal. Many.
>broke windows on constructions. Many.
>cut the electricity cables on neighbour store. Fucking lights on all night.
>super spicy sauce on roomate food. Ketchup on me food. Watch him unable to eat it while i eat mine normally. He still thinks he is bad with spicy food. Wont even try any kind of spicy food anymore. Keksimus
>plastic bottle. Nuriatic acid. Aluminium. Many. Thrown at houses.
>Fire crackers inside house.
>shot 1 month old boxer dog with .22
I still cry when i remember.
>junped over car with friend in the UK. As foreigners in small southern town.

Have many more....
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>be 18
>be wasted
>me and buddy walking down road
>sharp turn with reflective poles near water
>pull poles out of ground and align in road
>run
>hear multiple cars screeching
>hear sirens
>hear more screeching as sirens get near turn
>>
>>690192765
>shot 1 month old boxer dog with .22
>burn animal. Many.

Why dude?

>plastic bottle. Nuriatic acid. Aluminium. Many. Thrown at houses.

I think you mean Muriatic acid (HCl). Doesn't this just go boom? what's wrong with throwing them at peoples houses?
>>
>>690192474
http://www.bestshockers.com/painal/
>>
>>690192765
>jumped over car
Why in the fuck is that on your list
>>
>>690192765
Hahahah one time me and my buddies were throwing small stones at this front end loader and i decided to load this huge rock right through the window, that was pretty funny.

We also broke into a portable at a local elementary school, smashed the television broke a bunch of shit and tore up the place then we pissed everywhere and wiped our asses with random papers. We also broke a few windows on the schools main building.

Good times.
>>
>>690193116
ya, is that kind of like a dry ice bomb?
i heard of those being used on mischief night
also,
>be 15
>mischief night
>friend is a senior, has a car
>car has moon roof
>i stand on seat, upper body out of moonroof
>whip egg at trick or treater
>nailed in the face
>cannot stop laughing
>>
>>690190105

sauce?
>>
Be me 17, return a book to the library.way overdue, lie about it and didn't pay the late fee
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>>690193116
Had to get rid of dogs. Saw many movies. Shot the dog once. Cried a lot. Shot him teice. Ran to his kennel. Still crying. Shot him again. 10 cmts far from him. Cries more. Still not death. I start crying. Shot him again. One last long and low cry. Ran from kennel. Felt like shit. I feel like shit now. Want to cry. I am so sorry dog. I am very sorry. I am an idiot.

And yes i meant muriatic.
Thrown inside houses at 3am....
>>
>>690190105
I took a shit in a jack-in-the-box urinal. Couldn't stop laughing.
>>
>>690193621
senetor's daughter that was kidnapped or something. I think Nasty Rachel is what she went by
>>
>>690193592
>kids in neighborhood always egg, tp, fuck-with/vandalize one kids house
>friend's mom throws away dogshit
>lightbulb.jpeg
>put shit on top of central air unit next to house
>shit smell ducted into house in the night
>>
>>690193726
Why did you shoot him though? What was wrong with it?
>>
>>690193921
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Rachel_Bruno
>>
>>690193370
>english students.
>few days left.
>we want to break something.
>see car. Parked.
>yo dud. Lets jump on that car!
>he follows me. We start running. I jump over engine. Then over roof. I slip because UK always raining.
>180 turn in the air while falling down. I see friend jumping over me.
>slam the road with my back.
>cant fuxking stop laughing.
>short and out of shape female friend who didnt even jump over car is running faster than me and me male friend.
Cant stop laughing at that still.
>>
>be eight or nine
>not aloud across street or away from house
>dirtbag kid is only friend, kind of hate him
>retarded six year old is dads friends son so we're forcing to play with him
>have broken boat in front of house
>basically my boat / playhouse
>spend every day trying to trick retard into killing himself
>trick him into holding onto ancher chain
>throw him off boat
>hits metal
>screams death screech
>his dad runs out and takes him inside
>never have to play with retard again
>>
>be 14
>just finish movie at movie theater
>walking home with 3 friends along busy road in busy area
>still have almost a full large bag of popcorn left
>see taxi come down the road at decently fast speed
>lob the bag of popcorn absolutely perfectly onto the taxis windshield
>bag explodes
>popcorn everywhere
>taxi slams on breaks
>i book it into the parking lot next to me when i see the taxi turning into the lot
>hide under some cars for 10 minutes
>golden
>mfw my friends werent expecting that and just stood there and watched the whole thing
>>
>>690190105
i need sauce.
>>
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>>690190105
Sell some cuck a gun on armslist, faggot kills Grimmie a few days later.
>>
having 5 or 6 people pick up a smart car and rotate it 90 degrees inside of its parking space is always fun.
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>>690194069
>last year
>meet weed dealer
>come over to his apartment
>his roommate opens door
>"he's not here yet... c-come in"
>I go into living room, roommate goes into his room
>jar of weed sitting there in front of me
>put into backpack and leave

>last year
>work 1 week in restaurant
>quit
>boss gives me check, tell her it wont cash (lie)
>writes me another one the next day
>cash both
>>
>>690194131
Living in farm. No money to buy more dog food. There were three dogs. I shot only one.... they were playing with each other when I shot him... jesus fucking christ how can I stop this torment. This was over 10 years ago.
>>
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>>690194644
>>690194230
>>690193921

bro, do you even?
>>
>>690194384
>aloud
kill yourself
>>
>>690194804
you're gonna get stomped dude
>>
>>690192732
No it's not its that he got fucked by a dude
>>
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>>690194804
>>
More stories from me.
>hife between bushes with friend.
>water guns at passing by cars.
>woman stops and yells st us. I run abd drop the weappon.
>friend stopped talking to me for leaving his gun behind.
Fucker.
>>
>>690194813

Why'd you burn animals though anon?

I feel bad for you, I just don't understand...
>>
It's not as bad as most, but I would regularly fart on babies' heads.
It was hilarious to me.
Whenever I'd be out, and the stomach bubbles would echo in my gut, I'd consciously look for a baby carriage and fart on them.
>>
>>690194688
>trying this hard
gtfo faggot
>>
>>690194813
Damn man. That's awful. Could've given it away or something. Either way the past is past and you should look to the present now. Sorry you had to do through that.
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>>690195151
not really morally wrong, unless you live in the bible belt, or a developing country
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>>690190105
was at work once homeless negroid comes inside has a shopping cart full of food and shit parked outside. he enters the bathroom so i hid cart in dumpster. he comes out and flips shit frantically looking for that cart. local crack heads watched me and seized the opportunity. told him someone walked down the road with it. he ran off looking for it. i watched them divide his shit among themselves.
>>
>>690195233
Aninals burnt were already dead. Dont worry.
And i an very sorry for shooting that dog.

Also
>party at me house.
>friend panicking
>anon anon! Your neighbour is outside! He is having a heart attack
>laugh
>>
>>690193592
Yeah just like a dry ice bomb.
>>
>1978
>be pimply teen
>pale skinny girl in class has super racist dad
>assume she's racist
>become racist to impress her
>buddy is violent type, dad died at young age, skips school, smokes cigs
>pay him in my dads old cigars to fuck with this black kid because I'm too pussy
>black kid decides to fight back, and ends up breaking my Buddy's nose
>black kid forced out of town
>girl cries because they were friends
>years later dated her sister, and find out her dad raped her and her sister
>got her pregnant, punched her in cunt, and went to live with my uncle
>black kid lived near my uncle, got in trouble a lot, got arrested for stealing hubcaps
>might have a 20 something year old kid somewhere
>>
>>690193046

This is some YLYL shit....
>>
>>690195391
Damn. Thank you, anon. I actually felt better with your words. All these years only a cousin and me mum knew. And they told me how much of a shit person I was. First time in years I talk about it.
>>
>>690195510
But why?

>>690195612
Well that's a huge difference. It seemed like you were some kind of sociopath torturing animals to death, so I wasn't sure why you felt so bad about shooting a puppy. I'm sorry you have to live with that anon
>>
>>690194813
your guilt is the only thing that makes up for what you've done. Don't let go of that guilt anon
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>>690195987
>>690194813
that and don't shoot or burn animals again
>>
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>>690195330
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>>690192474
Queensnake - You can google queensnake catapult
>>
>>690195847
Holy shit
>>
>>690195510
you're a pos
>>
>>690196094
what's your point, faggot?
>>
>be me
>download full seasons of favorite shows
>never seed
>>
>>690195987
Ah you son of a /b/itch.
>>690196060
Never fired a gun since then.
Burnt aninals were dead already. Diseases. Had to be burnt.
>>
>Be in second grade
> Bully a girl so bad that she ends up failing that grade
Whoops
>>
>>690196467
POS
>>
I tried to kill my brother then myself with a shotgun
>>
>>690192315
>Let black friend put his dick in my ass

Why? What led up to this?
>>
>>690195921
was sick of cleaning bathrooms was 15 at the time didn't expect those crack heads to swoop in like fucking vultures.

>>690196266
i know it
>>
>>690193303
That site, yet brief, pretty much has the best known mainstream shockers. How quaint and nauseating
>>
>>690197280
What do you mean, "tried"
>>
>be Cis hetero white male
>assume womyn = men
> don't give special snowflake rights to people
> treat people like equals regardless of what they are because I'm a racist bigot

> assume privilege is earned not inherent

>didn't get financial aid for college b'cuz white male

>succeed anyway through hard work

> ignore my privilege and not give every penny I have to mudslime nigger cunt because oppression
>>
>>690196419
>>
>>690196419
This
>>
>>690196419
another
>>
Got drunk with my best friends gf the night they broke up, fucked her. Never told him, now they're back together.
>>
>>690196467

>never seed

All day.
>>
i let my best friends gf blow me once another time i banged one of my wife's co workers while she was at work
>>
>>690190105
I hated my little brother and I would go in the bathroom and rubs his toothbrush bristles all over my asshole. I did this for YEARS, liek I was in my late teens.

Fuck that little loser.

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>>
>be 17
>have friend who does whatever I tell him, and nerdy friend who is desperate for friends
>nerdy friend gets hundreds of dollars from grandma for birthday
>over course of a few months make him spend it all on gas station food for me and other friend
>stop hanging out with him when he runs out of money
>his parents keep fridge outside
>steal everything from fridge every chance we get
>they put lock on fridge
>nerdy kid gives us combination, and we steal more shit
>nerdy kids parents fought a lot
>nerdy kid invites us to skip school at his house
>make my other friend trash house...
>he breaks down a door, punches holes in the walls, I give him the idea to superglue a plate to the ceiling, we trash nerdy friends room, and other friend pisses on his clothes.
>schools out, we go home
>leave nerdy kid with mess

>be a few days later, go to nerdy kids house with friend
>nerdy kids mom is crying her eyes out
>apparently he took the blame, and the cops came, he asked one of the cops for his gun to shoot himself, and ended up getting backer acted
>his mom has no idea what brought this all on
>we make up lie after lie, tell her he was violent, and torchered the cat, and had been acting funny
>she cries more, we leave
>nerdy kid never comes back
>his parents split up
>still stole from the fridge until they moved away
>>
Worked for illegal gun dealer back when I was a drug addict, was forced to kill and dismember a snitch. After that point I lost all feeling of guilt in life man was properly disposed of and no one ever found out.
>>
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>>690196606

>bullying somebody who can't defend themself

Lucky you weren't in my class/school. We would have beaten you every day for fun until you either transferred or killed yourself.
>>
>>690195921
>sociopath
I think you mean psychopath.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindmelding/201301/what-is-psychopath-0
>>
>>690198165
How much you get paid for that?
>>
>>690197787
How fucked up does /b/ think that is? I want opinions
>>
>be 11
>have group of 3 friends (including myself)
>liked to go out late at night, like 12-2 am
>would bring a roll of TP
>would shit in a dark corner
>pick up turd with TP
>find somewhere to throw turd
>one time we pissed into an open car window
>one time we went down the street and tried to throw it on somebody's roof
>went almost straight up
>came down on hood of nice fire bird
>splat squishy poo on hood
>alarm goes off
>run away
>>
I stole a pencil in elementry school, and I have been regretting it ever since.
>>
>>690198468
That's the worst? I did shit like that all through high school.
I demand a picture of you.
>>
>>690190105
Saw college girl get out of her car and grab a large box. She carries the box up to her apartment and leaves the car door open. I quickly walk up to the car and snag her purse from the console. Took it back to my apartment and dug through it. Kept the cash and gift cards threw the rest in the dumpster.
>>
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>>690198294

Who cares?

He's fucking lying. If not, IP logged thanks for playing, don't pass GO and not more hotels for you.
>>
>>690191433
>Needs chair to circumvent ledge to kill self
>kill yourself
>>
>>690198294
Well I got my drugs and then I got about 200$
I was young they new they could pay me whatever as long as I got my drugs.
>>
>>690190854
that's a camel you fucking stupid motherfucking nigger
>>
Don't remember what age i was but i loved torturing animals. I grew out of it though. I still hate cats but i have one i rescued.
>>
>>690198750
Fuck off ya cunt, it happened but it was a fucking long time ago
>>
>>690194813
Unforgivable in my book, fuck yourself. If you had to kill it there were so many more humane ways to go about it. I think you wanted to shoot it then panicked when it didn't die, you feel remorse only because it wasn't clean cuntface.
>>
I hate me for doing this...
>me
>in love with my GF
>second love fishing
>ex-bro loves GF
>know i can't do my qt3.14 without money, go off on big tuna haul
>captain dies on way home
>dick ex-bro frames me for crime
>do hard time
>cell bro invented google-like shit
>teaches me eurofag stuff like languages, manners.
>also amerifat stuff like fighting
>gives me access to his escape plan, money, then dies
>escape
>find special lady QT 3.14 is now married to ex-bro
>systematically destroy everyone who helped him be a beta boss
>finally watch beta boss ex-bro choke on his own shit (figuratively)
>show beta boss his jon snow OP leaned about with vast wealth and badass-ness
>cringe while the whole family murders each other and laugh
>sailed off in my sweet super yacht
sorry /b/ but i'm still shook up. they're all dead. police can't do anything because i'm a boss.
what do...?
>>
>>690198880
i used to torture rats but there pests anyways so?
>>
>>690198750
Also I live in a different state now and it's been literally like 7 years
>>
>>690198434
Well its hard to say, depends on how long they have been together and how close of friends u were honestly....story?
>>
>>690198880

My grandfather actually put a bunch of kittens into an apple grinder and killed all of them. After he told me that, I can't really look at him the same way. Granted, he did it when he was five or something but I still think he's a fucking psycho.
>>
>>690197616
This. With a shotty it's pretty definitive
>>
>>690192283
Putin is alpha for naive dumb faggots.
>>
>>690197319
I was about 14 at the time. I had a black best friend. He was at my house hanging with me and my parents left for something. We talked about jacking off and we showed off dicks. Then he sorta dared me in a "I'll do it then you do me" way. Took the dick. Was in for probably 10 seconds. After he wanted it in his ass but parents came home so no deal

Still kinda pissed I didn't just ask him to stay in there and start fucking until he shot cum in me. Meh

No homo
>>
>>690198942

I guess you're not collecting two-hundred dollars m8. You're a severe accessory to murder.
>>
>>690194962
Just the annual summerfag migration. Ignore and they will leave. They always cross through here on their way to 9gag.
>>
>>690192011
Kek thanks for the laugh anon
>>
>>690198040
Straight evil, this fucker here
>>
>>690198966
10/10 worth the crnge by your comment
>>
>>690199352
That was long ago and there's no evidence
>>
>>690199170
Only things i intentionally killed was frogs and a bird i shot with a bb gun. Felt bad about the bird. The frogs i had many unique ways to kill. I liked to choke things till they nearly died as well. Even choked my youngest sister. Not sure why i did the things i did but like i said i grew out of it.
>>
>>690198942
What drug?
>>
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>>690194804
You peice of shit for the pot thing. But I would totally fucking steal it as well.
>>
>>690199546
Meth but I got clean and I'm glad because I turned my whole life around
>>
Found out my neighbors (10 year old girl and 7 year old boy) were sneaking off to this abandoned minivan and doing sexual stuff. Threatened to tell their parents if they didn't let me in (I was 12 at the time.) Forced her to blow me, she cried the whole time. Then fucked her while he watched. I had watched a lot of porn and knew a lot more than they did. Makes me a little sick to recall it.
>>
>>690199677
Good for you man.
>>
>>690198040
Holy shit dude, do you ever regret or feel bad about what you did?
>>
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I must admit, I feel a little guilty that he died.
>>
broke into a church
go to front pews and open hymnals
piss in hymnals
go to bathroom
shit on floor
friend picks up shit and smears it everywhere.
wander around and find fire extinguishers
spray fire extinguishers everywhere
leave
>>
>>690199942
Thanks
>>
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>be 17
>live in apartments with common laundry
>make a tuna fish sandwich
>throw it into random dryer full of clothes
>go back to apartment which is right above laundry room
>one hour later, hear somebody screaming obscenities from laundry room
>fap hard
>>
>>690199752
Hot. Not sick
>>
>be around 9 or 10
>at the airport really often, family flying in or out
>take salt packets from cafes and restaurants
>take disposable paper cups from drinking fountains
>empty salt sachets into each one
>put paper cups back into dispenser
>hide and watch people take cup fill it with water and spit it out while gagging
>laugh hysterically
>get chased by airport security
>>
>>690198201
Ooh edgy, I wish you were at my house so I could bash your skull in with a tire iron and then play with your dead body.
>>
>>690200013
he died?
>>
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>Walking down a street at night with roomie and best friend.
>Some wannabe gangster cholo pussy comes walking out on his front porch threatening my friends and I with a knife.
>I know he's full of shit so I spout some bullshit like "you better hope your knife is bigger than mine faggot."
>he's sperging out "watchu say, watchu say, I'll fucking cut you bitches."
>Yeah yeah whatever nigger, keep walking with bros and laughing about this retard.
>Arrive at friends house, chill out play vidya, and smash a case of beer.
>I keep one last full bottle of beer as I leave friends house with roomie.
>Walking back towards gangster faggots house where my car is parked just down and across the street.
>Nigger still on the porch glaring, I tell roomie to get in the car and I prop the driver door open.
>I fastball that full beer right through that cunts large bay window at the front of his house.
>He freaks the fuck out and immediately runs inside.
>I jump in my car and speed off through a red light.
>Very next car through the intersection was a city cop who didn't see a thing.

Got away clean, cop never saw a thing.

Friend told me he could hear the nig still raging the following morning while shop vacuuming all the broken glass out of his front room.

Everything went better than expected.
>>
>>690196266
No you. Crackhead lover
>>
>>690200013
No you dont. I'm calling bullshit on this one. The whole internet fucking gang reaped this family.
>>
Broke up with gf in college. She wanted to get back together. She agreed to give me a webcam show to show me what I was missing. I connected my laptop to the tv and let my roommates watch her strip and bate. We didn't get back together.
>>
I killed my friends demented grandmother. She had diabetes, I didn't know. Well long story short, she died after me visiting.

Killed a guy on drugs who attacked me I beat him down than, while he was unconscious, threw him into the river from the bridge. A body was found the next morning. I'm 99.999% it was him.

I'm fucking a girl (26) that's married with my professor (50+ years old) and they have a baby together.
>>
>>690192315
Top kek on the bj piss.
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>>690190105
They were brother and sister. Wincest is best.
>>
>>690200529
Hahahah thats golden
>>
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>>690199532
i used to bully alot of kids when i was age 7-10 once friend and i stayed at class while erbody was at pt and we ate all of their food in their backpacks
>>
>>690199038
How about you kill yourself?
>>
>>690195882
the pic or the story ?
>>
>>690200517
Edgy like school shooter
>>
>>690192765
You deserve to die painfully
>>
>>690201524
I would, but I'm doing too much good with the rest of my Google money. I have no wife, kids, or family... plus, I know the French government would take it all and use it poorly.
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>>690198201
Dont bruise yourself on that edge, nigger.
>>
>>690200992
Did she find out?
>>
Asked someone to pass the butter but didn't say please

Didn't apologize either
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>>690200013
We all dun goofed
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>>690198858
Hard to tell if bait,or stupid.
>>
>>690202027
Yep. One of my roommates had to fuck it up. He texted her while she was still on cam.
>>
>be 7
>signs up in disney channel website
>doesn't ask parents for permission
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>>690194804
This fucker will get their comeuppance eventually. That's going to be epic.
>>
>be 13
>workers have been laying down pipe in the creek next to the park
>portapotty in the park because of it
>friends and i hanging out in park
>i take a shit on the toilet seat in portapotty
>few minutes later watch father and toddler son go into portapotty then immediently come out
>laughed with friends
>felt kinda bad about it later
>went back the next day and poop was still there all crusty
>>
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>>690200529
Haha, you beautiful alpha motherfucker! Have some huge tits for sweet street justice.
>>
>>690202468
MODS
>>
>>690202763
nice work anon big tits that actually look good
>>
>be 12
>playing badmitton in gym class
>playing against kid I hate
>he is being a douchebag about winning
>supposed to shake hand after every game
>hit him in face with racquet
>kid lets out the most unbearable scream
>blood everywhere

>be 15
>just done in weight room at school
>leave school
>notice middle school principle window open
>climb in
>steal the ipods/phones from drawer
>and the change from his mug

>be 19
>meet girl on omegle
>16 from UK fat and ugly
>get skype info anyways
>catfish her with a well thought out and elebrate web of lies
>convince her I loved her
>convince her to fly to America
>tell her I live in Texas
>actually live in NY
>gets money from parents
>actually fucking does it
>block all forms of communication with her
>>
Thank you for the laughs anons, this has been a hilarious thread
>>
>punched out a grade 6 kid in grade 1
>punched out anyone who pissed me off as a kid really despite being a short motherfucker
>stole a bunch of shit from stores
>set a field on fire and almost a store because of said fire
>Stole smokes from an old mans car more than once (feel real bad bout that one)
>stole packs of smokes from apartment porches
>cheated
>knocked a kid out in grade 9 at school on Halloween
>the person I was going out with used to crush on the same person I did always felt guilt on that because it felt way too spiteful especially cuz i used to fool around with that person (not the time I cheated though)
can't think of anything else atm
>>
>Been cheating on current gf with four other girls
>Use them for nudes and when they get emotional block/ignore them
>Allows them to send money, uses it on other chick or food
>Dick downed ex then went to current gf and dicked her down
Cont.?
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>>690200165
Straight savage.
>>
>At a buddy's house
>Drinking Bombay and playing vidya with a few friends
>Get absolutely fucking hammered
>Friend is going on and on about these guys that jumped him back in highschool, one stole his wallet.
>Time to prove I'm so tough like the drunken shit I am
>"Come on anon, we should go fuck his shit up"
>Convince everyone to pile into the car at around midnight and drive down the street from this guys house.
>Kind of nervous, but Bombay turns me into a fearless idiot.
>Other friends stay in car, parked far away, me and friend start walking towards the house.
>He has these big rocks lined up in front of his house, I pick one up. Friend does too.
>"Which one is his car?"
>Friend clearly isn't sure, but points to a jeep.
>one, two, three.
>Friend throws rock at the bumber. I put mine up over my head with both hands and put it right through the windshield.
>Blows out nearly the whole thing.
>We take off back to the car
>Few days later there was an article in the local newspaper.
>Two suspects seen fleeing house
>Turns out it was the mom's brand-new jeep, not the guy's.
Nothing ever happened. I don't feel badly about it, just kind of like " why the fuck would I do that".
>>
>secretly bisexual, emotionally attracted to womans, sexually mostly 60% men, 40% woman

>be me, 13yo
>Was having some kind of pijama party with some friends
>we where sleeping in a bed
>a buddy took of his pants to sleep in his underwear
>Please no...
>they fell asleep
>Why not?
>jacked off while touching his little bubble but in his soft red Fruit of the Loom boxers.

>Me, 15yo
>At school
>with my best friend in the back of the classroom
>Gym pants
>He told me he was getting hard
>Shit, not again...
>Got hard myself too
>He notices
>Why not?
>touched our dick each other, just playing and being curious.

>My longest relationship ever has been with a really cute girl, which only lasted for two weeks.
>>
>be 12
>at restaurant with group of friends
>go to bathroom
>think it would be funny if i peed all over and in bathroom sink
>wait in stall to get reactions
>bald indian tech support guy walks in
>he washes his face and swishes his mouth out with my pee
>he starts gagging and throwing up
>trying really hard to hold in laughter
>awkwardly left the bathroom
>>
>>690204386
I've got even worse stories, also involving Bombay. Shit has happened 3 or 4 times to the point where my friends won't let me drink it when we go out. It's that bad.
>>
>>690191203
>>690198858
being this new
>>
>>690193726
>tried to kill a dog with a .22
Just letting you know that you are a fucking idiot, if you had to kill a dog don't use a bullet slightly more powerful than a pellet gun you dumb piece of shit
>>
>>690204608
Please tell anon
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>>690199038
Fuck off Christo
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>>690196467
You Fucking monster
>>
>Be Me, 12
>In spa with brother (9)
>just found porn in my life
>both neked
>Convince brother so suck my penis
>He licks it in the flaccid tip
>Window right next to spa
>Mother sees.
>fuck
>had to stay on a farm for 7 Weeks
>brother keeps bringing it up
>Convinced him it was a dream and i dont remember anything
>GuiltyAsFuck.jpg
>>
>>690195510
Doing gods work anon, gods work
>>
>>690190105
I was around 12 and my friend and I broke into a house that was up for sale and trashed it. Completely. Giant holes in every wall, broke all Windows and mirrors friend even took a shit in the bathroom, took the stove and smashed it. This house was about a 3 minute walk from my house and when we left the neighbors saw us and called the cops. My friend ended up taking all the blame and said he got extremely pissed and went to take his anger out and I tried to stop him. Cops believed it and he had to do a shit ton of community service. Over $20k worth of damage. Friend ended up killing himself 3 years later
>>
>>690205764
Lel
>>
Stole money from my aunt and cousin's purses at age 13.

Stole jewelry from my grandmother at age 14.

Stole from purses at a Super Bowl party at age 16.

Age 21: Stole money, purses, jewelry, clothes, phones, gps's, wallets, etc from countless cars on college campus. Pickpocketed wallets from backpacks on campus. Stole wallets and purses from library. Broke car windows, keyed cars, destroyed interior of cars. Broke into apartments and stole purses, laptops, jewelry boxes, game systems, etc. Stole purses from workers in offices on campus.

Started hacking emails and face books and catfishing at age 23. Convinced a guy to have sex with me cuz he thought I was a woman. Threatened to show fiancé the conversation unless he gave me nudes of her. He did, so I showed her anyway including the nudes.

Age 25 found nudes in an underaged girls email I hacked and posted then on her Facebook for everyone to see.

Age 26 found nudes in a 22 year old teacher's email I hacked. Posted them on /b/ and they ended up being sent to the entire student body and faculty. She resigned after a police investigation.

Age 28 stole a purse from a car. A year later I messaged the girl on fb from a fake profile admiring to the crime and apologizing. All a ploy to make her fall for me and send nudes. Still working on it and I'm obviously not sorry. I would definitely steal her purse again.
>>
>>690199064
pests with feelings
>>
>>690198617
I was 11 dude and I was stupid. You're straight up retarded if you did that when you were ~18. Not giving you a pic
>>
>be me
>17
>friend in alternative school passes a chicken sandwich from wendies
>fuckyesimaeatthisshit.jpg
>tells me to take off bun
>wtf
>take off bun
>200$ worth bag of Latina coke
>winks at me
>keep it
>went to the rest room at school
>almost exploded my heart
>geeked the fuck out listening to testament using ultrasurf
Best day of my life that day....
>>
>>690206348
Any stories of getting caught? Or almost getting caught doing any of that shit?
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>>690191433
Well, the escalators don't seem to be working, so i guess this makes sense.
>>
I have one.
In 1969 I graduated from high school and didn't know where I wanted to go with my life. After a few years of sitting on my moms couch gaining weight I get the desire to join the marines to fight in Vietnam. I went to a local shopping center to draft myself. The next week I was in boot camp. Everyone there was really fit. The drill Sargent was a total dick head. I could never finish the workouts which resulted in everyone having to do more workouts. I always got hungry at night so I sneaked jelly doughnuts in my foot locker. Nightly inspection came around and I forgot to close my locker. My drill Sargent threw everything out of it. He saw my jelly doughnut and screamed at me. He made me eat it and the rest on my fellow boot campers do P.T. Right there. That night I got a blanket party. For next four weeks I get tormented by the other privates. I can't take the abuse. On the last night of boot camp I get my rifle and fill it up with live ammunition. My friend who was on night duty walks in. "What hell man? The drill Sargent is going to be pissed " that's when the drill Sargent wakes up. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE??! JESUS CHRIST PRIVATE! GIVE ME THAT GUN!"
I shoot that mother fucker
>>
>>690198040
>and torchered the cat
you just turned a bullshit story into a badly written bullshit story.
>>
>>690206921
"Is that you John Wayne?- Is this me?"
>>
>>690205095
The worst.
>Poker night at a different friend's house
>Grab a 750 ml of bombay, tonic water, and limes on the way over
>Friends dad is out for the night, but sister is upstairs with neanderthal bf
>Start of easy because I don't want to lose poker
>End up getting beat out first and I'm butt-hurt
>Start drinking angrily at a very unwise pace
>Friends are still playing while I'm basically forced to watch, so I start getting more and more beligerant
Everything after this point is blackout, going on what my friends told me the next day
>Start getting louder and louder, talking about weirder and weirder shit.
>About 75% of the way through the bottle at this point, start talking about how I want to fuck 17 year old highschool girls.
>Friend's sister fits the bill
>Drop my glass and it shatters everywhere.
>"Anon, sit the fuck down and chill out"
>Tell them to fuck off and get up to find another glass.
>start wildly opening cabinets in friend's kitchen, slamming the doors shut.
>Plate falls and smashes on the floor.
>Friends sister and her duke-nukem bf finally come down because of all the noise and my weird rant that they clearly heard.
>Sister starts telling me to get the fuck out of the house
>I start screaming at her and throw my half-full glass at her, full strength
>Explodes on the kitchen floor
>Boyfriend absolutely levels me with one punch
>Bleeding all over the floor
>I start laughing, sister says shes calling the cops
>I get up, friends holding back the beast from killing me
>I open up a drawer and pull out a knife
>"Call the cops, I dont care. you wanna fucking hit me, how about you cut me. Go ahead!"
>Start getting wild again
>Two friends grab me and pull me down into a headlock until i calm down and drop the knife
>Sister's brother convinces her to go upstairs, tells her we are all leaving.
>Friend hides my keys, as he has to drive other people home.
>You are staying on my couch tonight, dont fucking go anywhere."
>Apparently I drove home
>>
>>690206921
>full metal jacket
>>
>>690206608
Tons.
I was caught and arrested 3 times in total between age 21 and 25. 21 was my craziest year. I was balls to the wall robbing bitches that year. I almost got caught once when I snuck into the library in the middle of the night through a poorly secured door. I'm in there digging through desks and shit and 2 cops come in with flashlights. They sort of circle the room looking at each cubicle and I'm quietly walking around the same room avoiding them like I'm in some damn metal gear solid game or something. Finally I reach the door and they are maybe 60 feet away. I know opening the door will be loud but I don't have choice so I fling it open and run as fast as my legs could go and didn't stop til I was back at my dorm half a mile away. I have no idea if they even chased me but there's no way they would've been able to catch me anyway. My adrenaline was flowing like honey that night.

More stories?
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>>690200013
Who is that
>>
>>690206921
1/10 story
11/10 movie
Would watch again
>>
When I was younger my family would go out to dinner Every Friday. My 4 brothers and I would unscrew The Salt, Pepper, Parmesan, and Chilli shakers.
>>
>>690207246
Holy shit man
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>>690207246
You're a fucking beast anon
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>>690193661
You sick fuck.
>>
>>690207341
Yes please
>>
>be me
>14
>going in to locker room after gym class
>retard asshat behind me
>stop on doorway to greet friends
>retard pushes me out of the way
>raise fists and brace for windmill punches
>he misses 4 fucking times and I drop him with one punch
>called tard tamer for rest of the year
>not even suspended for it
>mfw tard strength can't melt steel beams
>>
>be me 19
>move in with friend due to drug addiction, his mom is a social worker and has a broken wing complex where she thinks she has to fix everyone
>they have another roommate with ptsd after being raped and abused by her ex husband- she's in her 40's
>get drunk one night phone sexing this hot scene chick that's into weird shit
>jack off on phone in same room as friend, he's not even asleep yet, doesn't know how to take it so he pretends to not notice
>say things on the phone about how I'm sure he's awake and can see my dick
>she's going crazy having fantasies of people watching us fuck
>she asks me if I like pegging
>drunk, dick hard, on phone- surewhynot.gif
>talk about her pegging me while I jack my dick furiously in the converted garage/room like 10 feet from friend.
>he's obviously freaking out now
>tell her I want to choke her and knock her out, fuck her while she's unconscious and leave my cum all over her body
>she moans, maybe fake orgasm sounds legit, pretty loud, normie friend loses his shit finally
>"What the fuck are you doing anon?!"
>im cumming
>thought it was pretty funny at the time, even funnier now. I jizzed on his bed and he literally cried. Ran out of the garage and told his mom.
>a week or so later on the phone with weird chick again, we phone fucking nightly and shit getting weirder
>I'm experimenting with putting fingers in my ass while I jerk it just to see if I'd actually like pegging or not, she's super into it
>liquid courage kicks in strong
>go into house, not even supposed to go into the house, garage is my lair
>enter ptsd raped lady bedroom, go to her bathroom while she's sleeping
>find her toothbrush holder
>use Vaseline to shove her toothbrush holder into my asshole while I cum loudly on the phone to scene chick
>super fucking drunk, pass out in her bathroom naked as fuck with her toothbrush in my ass
>"holy shit anon, what the fuck"
>friend wakes me up, ptsd chick saw me and had an episode.
Continue?
>>
>>690192692
Those definitely are Ohio Buckeyes. Live near a bunch of them here in Ohio. That definitely would hurt!
>>
>>690207796
I never act like that, so everyone ended up moving past it. Even the sister and her boyfriend, though I never see them anymore. Everyone sat me down and said that I needed to stop drinking and driving and to stop drinking gin, or I couldn't hang out with them. I don't deserve them.
>>
>>690190105
>be me b 14 ish
>go to friends house to play guitar
>friends Mom is in kitchen, drunk.
>she starts telling me she is lonely
>scared.gif
>she hugs me
>kiss her vodka tasting mouth
>she put my hand on her tit
>i am getting hard>
>she is stroking me softly
>touch her pussy and she goes wild
>end up fucking her and cum inside her
>she starts to cry and asks me to leave
>wait a few days
>go to house while friend is at swimming>
>ask her for sex again, she refuses>
>tell her I took pics of her as we fucked>
>tell her I will show Pete, and all schoolfriends>
>she blows me
>keep blackmailing her for sex for about 18 months
>started to demand money from her too
>basically blackmailed her and robbed her whilst all the time remaining best friends with her son
>guilty.jpg
>>
had sex with my sister
>>
>>690207341
Eh what the hell. I finally got caught in the library. There were some little single person study rooms on the 2nd floor but kind of like stalls with a foot or so clearance at the bottom. The doors could lock and you could rent the key so it gave the illusion of safety if you had to leave your shit there. Perfect for me. I would simply sit and wait for someone to go to the bathroom and slide under the bottom and take their shit. So that day I did it to a chick. She left and went piss so i reached under and pulled out her purse and stuck it in my backpack. But I was cocky. I got away clean with that one but I knew I had time before she got back and called the campus cops about her stolen purse so went to the 3rd floor and saw another girl get up and go to the bathroom. She left her purse out in the open. I squatted down and started fishing around for her wallet but she came back from the bathroom waaaay quicker than anticipated. I saw her and jumped up and walk away. She didn't say anything so I assumed she didn't realize what I was doing. Little did I know the bitch called the cops. I was walking out the library right when they showed up and grabbed me. I had the other purse in my backpack so I was busted. That was my first arrest.
>>
>>690194343
Can't stop laughing? You jumped on a wet car slipped. How is that funny? Perhaps I should regale you with some of my hilarious anecdotes about how I was flossing, but then got bored with it and went to watch TV.
>>
>>690199038

Okay, what movie did you take this plot from?
>>
>>690207978
>>690209009
>>
>>690190105

>have christian girlfriend who is very prudish
>after years of asked, she lets me takes nudes
>after another year I have 1000s of photos of her awkwardly exploding every inch of her body. Often not wanting to.
>she breaks up with me
>commence blackmail. Remind her of photos. if they are put online, her community and family would disown her!
>been using her as a sex slave. This prudish, sex once a month girl has now done every sexual act imaginable. Love getting people/groups of people from Craigslist to come over and use her, often while she's sobbing.
> you haven't lived until you have made your ex masturbate herself to orgasm in front of a group of people. Two hours of vibtator will make anyone cum eventually. Big shuddering orgasm while crying while a group of guys laugh at you.
>>
>>690208095
>friend gives me his clothes and gets me to the garage, we don't talk about anything
>his mom calls a family meeting
>we have dinner that night, porkchops or some shit
>she says crazy rape lady actually went crazy, thinks she saw an intruder in the house, left late that night and was involved in a hit and run, she was the driver that fled the scene
>crazy lady doing time now-but back to family dinner
>she pulls out a sandwich bag with rape ladies toothbrush holder, covered in Vaseline, shit and even blood
>realize my ass hurts. Oh shit I probably fucked my ass with that thing for hours. What the fuck
>she says she knows it was one of us, friend doesn't rat me out, goodguy.jpeg
>we blame it on his little sister and his mom actually buys it
>little sister has a history of Satan worship (no fucking joke. 12 year old doing spells and she made a pentagram by carving the floorboards under her bed) so she was an easy scapegoat
>friend says "you owe me anon"
>I fucking owe him.
>make a joke about the goop all over the toothbrush looking like ectoplasm, his mom doesn't think it's funny
>little sister has to start seeing a therapist
Continuing whether you want it or not, this shit is cathartic
>>
>>690209184
I came to this.
>>
>>690208230
I know how you feel anon, ive lost friends due to my drinking. Now i really dont have any, i just get hammered and act like a jagoff.
>>
>>690209184
That's so good in the worst way.
>>
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>>690195921
Well why wouldn't he do it? Let's not forget that we ARE talking about a nigger here.
>>
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>hate this stupid dumb bitch that looks like pic related only is actually a chick
>post on a faces of /b/ thread with her selfies
>anons are roasting her and I'm relishing in the comments
>"she looks like a 12 year old boy" "should have spent more time at the gym than on makeup" stuff along the lines of that
>send pics of comments to girl
>she has low self esteem but I don't give a shit cause she's a cheating ugly Filipino whore
>kills herself a week later
>still don't feel bad
>>
>>690209364
loving it
>>
I frequently take shots at squirrels with a pellet rifle through a cracked window for laughs, doesn't kill them or seriously injure them but it keeps them in a constant state of fear, as it should be.
>>
>>690190105
whats the story with this gif?
>>
>>690208586
baldeaglewithflagbackground.gif
>>
>>690209009
Damn man, that sucks
>>
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>>690206105
lol.. fuck
>>
>>690207978
Second arrest:
I was into pick pocketing. I would go to the busiest building on campus and get in the stairway while classes were changing. I'd target cute girls. The easiest ones had a backpack with a small easy to open zipper pouch on the front, like a jansport. They would not have a purse, which meant they likely had a wallet in that small pouch. Even better if they had headphones in with music playing because there's no way they would hear the zipper. So I'd position myself walking up the stairs behind one, unzip, slide wallet out. I did it over and over and over. One morning I did it but the girl felt it. I saw her see me but I was able to slip around a corner before she could confront me. Got away with her wallet. Kept the cash threw the rest in the trash as always. Cocky me was back later that afternoon trying for another wallet. The girl from before recognized my shirt and this time she got me. She accused me in front of everyone in the building and made a huge scene. I was scared but also remember being turned on by her boldness plus she was sexy as fuck. So I denied it and I didn't have the wallet anymore anyway. But she made me show her my ID and with the crowd gathered around I couldn't act guilty so I did. She then went to class. I was so nervous she was gonna rat me out I followed her to her car after her class. I approached her and admitted what I did. I told her I was sorry and nothing like that would ever happen again. She agreed not to go to the cops and have mercy on me. Later that day the cops showed up and arrested me. A few months later I found that little rat on fb. I still know who she is and stalk her on fb but I've never messaged her.
>>
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>>690192315
did you like getting blacked?
>>
>>690209364
>few weeks pass and I start slipping more into booze with the absence of pills and weed
>spend probably 8 hours a day on the phone with scene chick just face timing and cumming all over friends families things
>friends mom eventually sits me down and has a really personal talk about all of the weird shit happening at the house
>ohshit.jpeg she knows
>"anon, I need your help dealing with this, I can't handle my sons issues anymore"
>oh fuck she thinks it's him! I'm free!
>she's a decent looking woman, reminds me of holly Hunter from the movie 13, except she's also on websites like sugar daddy and some dude that owned the Minnesota Vikings press box or some shit paid for her to have fake tits
>hug her and tell her I'll help however I can
>she hugs back, feel her nipples through her shirt AND bra
>fucking diamonds
>call scene chick and get a quick phone fuck in, she asks why I'm so aggressive this time, she likes it
>tell her the truth, want to fuck friends mom now
>she tells me to try, and let her know how it goes
>fucking love this girl
>attempt to woo friends mom
>doesn't work out- when I hit on her she gets creeped out and tells me it's inappropriate
>I get butthurt and I'm so used to treating scene chick like a fuck toy and abusing her verbally that I forget I'm talking to a real human
>"do you know who I am? I could tear your fucking pussy in half if I wanted to. You're lucky I'm even giving you the chance to fuck me. I make girls cum every fucking day with just my voice, you think your better than me?"
>not the right thing to say to woman housing me and rehabilitating me during an intense drug withdraw treatment
>she freaks out calls my friend
>he shows up pissed off and thinks I raped his mom
>tells her I shoved the toothbrush in my ass
>"hey fuck you I'm no faggot, scene chick just wanted to see!"
>friends mom asks who scene chick is
>friend tells her about my masturbation sessions
>she's still confused
Continued
>>
>>690209184
I call bullshit but it's a great fantasy story.
>>
>>690210908
gold
>>
lots of shit;
>killed about 17 doggos
> got lots of people addicted to drugs so i could deal to them , some were my friends
>stole from people
> broke a kids leg when i was 9 with a bick , never got caught
> stole my mums drugs to sell
> beat up my best friend while he was pissing just to see what fighting felt like , feels gud mang
>encouraged mentally unstable girls to an hero , one did, one also went mental and ran away from home.
> arson
> some other dodgy shit that i dont want to talk about
>>
>>690210770
Surprised you got away with that multiple times without anyone else around you noticing
>>
>>690211161
you're obviously a psychopath, or at least a sadistic sociopath. Let's hear it anon
>>
>Me in the 7th grade
>Last day of school, no work to do
>Friends make a truth or dare circle
>Includes about 15 kids, boys and girls
>I know it's gonna be my turn to come up with a dare soon
>*Think anon, what's a good dare*
>Lightbulb.jpeg
>Go to bathroom and come back quickly
>Few minutes later get asked a lame truth question, answer it easy
>Time to wreak havoc
>Ask a kid I don't like
>Truth or dare?
>"Dare"
>"Drink this bottle of water"
>He looks at it briefly, doesnt think too much about it because it's clear and is obviously water
>Drains it down
>After a moment, he picks a medium sized hair off his tongue
>"You put a hair in it, thats lame"
>"It's a pube"
>He looks horrified for a second, gags, and pukes
>Teacher breaks up the whole thing, I get sent to the office and have to explain to the vice principle why I did it
>>
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>>690207341

>and I'm quietly walking around the same room avoiding them like I'm in some damn metal gear solid game or something

Lost.. lmao u da mvp, anon
>>
>learned to jack off at 10
>was on vacation in Germany, so me, my parents and my two sisters would sleep in one big room
>jacked off every night, ever though everyone complained about the noise while I was doing it
>not sure if they ever realized what I was doing
>>
>>690210908
>I decide to come clean about e-dating and phone fucking scene chick from Ohio, explain she awakened my sexual desires etc., booze probably fucked with me blah blah
>his mom calls cops
>explains situation to cops, I try to explain it was all bc of scene chick from Ohio
>friend and his mom are like really scared at this point and I'm starting to feel like a weird pit in my stomach, I don't want to be a sex offender
>she changes her mind, tells cops was a misunderstanding, they still take a report and ask us all about everything that's happening
>they ask for my phone, I give them my phone and cops are really fucking pissed because apparently the phone I was talking on didn't have service
>mfw I was so fucking drunk and still coming down so hard that I hallucinated an emo s&m sub chick that wanted me to cum on all my friends stuff
>his mom asks me to move out
>suddenly when she thinks I'm ACTUALLY crazy and need help she doesn't want to deal with me and tells me I'm an adult deal with my own problems.
>haven't talked to friend in almost 5 years, his little sister is now 18, were currently texting and she wants to know if I'm into rough sex.
Weird how shit works out. I couldnt fuck his mom, but I'm about to fuck his sister, and She is almost creepily similar to fantasy emo chick from my fever dreams.
>>
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>be rootless cosmopolitan
>start lending people money with high interest
>become rich
>lie about a bunch of my pals being killed by some germans
>get billions upon billions in damages
>rule the world
>call anyone who calls me on it an anti-semite
>It's super effective
>mfw
>>
>>690211367
You'd be surprised how easy it is especially in a laid back college setting. I slid a girls wallet out of her purse that was slung around her back once and she felt it and reached back and felt my hand. So I just kind of fell into her and said sorry and kept walking. She smiled and said "it's ok" in almost a cute flirty way. Keep in mind her wallet was in my hands out in the open at this point but she didn't even bother to look down and check. She must have felt so stupid when she realized what I was doing after it was too late.
>>
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>>690200013
>>
>>690211516
>getting mad over one pubic hair

Someone pissed in my water. Swallowed a small gulp before spitting.
>>
>>690199322
You sick fuck.
>>
>>690198942
Fake and fucking gay.
>>
>>690190105
lol, that's dirty Rachel
>>
>>690211888
Hahah damn man, i wouldnt have the balls to pickpocket. I know id get caught
>>
>>690197626
>trying this hard
M8 do you even
>>
>>690211367
Never got caught for any of the hacking adventures though. The story about the teacher made the local news complete with teenage boys taking about how they woke up to an email with their hot teachers nudes in it. It was glorious. Even with the actual FBI on the case nothing ever came of it.
>>
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>>690209184

Soul broken
>>
>>690207341
>flowing like honey
haha, have you ever seen honey? There is much faster things than honey, great story nonetheless
>>
>>690209124
Count of Monte Cristo, I believe.
>>
>>690193303
Kek
>>
>>690207246
You're a fucking Faggot
>>
>>690209184
>exploding every inch of her body

How many inner goddesses did this bitch have?
>>
>>690211681
nice story
>>
>>690212575
Thats just golden
>>
>>690212361
It definitely takes nerves of steel. I'm pretty fucking ballsy but I would frequently get stomach cramps and feel nauseous when doing some of the shit I did. Especially pickpocketing. But that's part of why I do it. The rush is insane. Just crazy.
>>
>be me 19 sister 17
>get big bottle of ranch
>put it all in her shampoo and lotion
>>
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>>690192315
>Worst things you done
>Let someone fuck you in the ass

How is this a bad thing?
>>
>>690212626
Well it's just an expression but I guess you're right lol.
>>
>>690211368
as per request;
> i like emotions , like other peoples emotions , i feel like i feed off of them , i am strongly attracted to people feeling extremely happy/sad/in pain/or really high, i dont know why

> famalam is pretty dysfunctional , mum has cancer and is slowly going insane, she used to hurt me , i wish she would die already, she used to hit my dad,

>when i was smaller i was bullied quite frequently because i moved around a lot (countries and shit) so i was never able to form close emotional ties with anyone and never truly felt accepted anywhere,

> first fight; guy was heavier than me and older than me , i tackled him to the ground and smashed his glasses and gave him a solid concussion, my peers approved , people began congratulating me , it was the first time i ever felt respected and admired , i felt amazing , so i kept fighting, ive had fights with multiple opponents before and won , ive also had the shit kicked out of me , thats ok by me sometimes i need it

>whenever i would change schools people felt they could fuck with me because of how i used to look (i had braces and was short, and am white) and my accent made it difficult to fit in , so ive had to fight about once or twice a year , i learned that if you are really savage you dont have to fight as much because people dont want to fight you if you go crazy.

> im still lonely as fuck though, i find it hard to talk to girls because my mother used to abuse me both physically and emotionally,

> i have seen lots of really fucked up things in real life , ive actually seen people burned alive , and dead people being fished out of gutters , my friends sister was raped by a boy in my class , she had a crush on me , i tried to feel angry about it , i want to feel angry about it , but i cant , because i know i am capable of the same shit and who the fuck am i to judge someone like me .
>>
>>690190105
What's her name again? I loved jerking off to her.
>>
>>690210770
You need to find that fucking cunt, tie her up with a couple of buddies, and gang rape that bitch
>>
>>690213152
There was a certain feeling it still gave though, so no sweat. adrenaline can give you a high much like the anticipation of something craved like sweet honey. I'm not a man of words, but there is something that gives me a feel of literary symbolism that you used the word honey. I'm drunk too, so I could be trippin
>>
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>>690199322
>
no not homo at all
>>
>>690212575
I'm actually currently in communication with 2 girls I've robbed in the past. Neither of them know who I am but they both think I'm very sorry and all that. One is married now so there's not much to do there. Plus she was a single mom at the time and I took her purse with a ton of cash and gee expensive gps. I also broke her window, keyed the outside of the car and took a knife to the seats. So I feel kind of bad about that one even though she's ok now. The other one though is hot as hell and she's single. So I'm trying to work some magic there.
>>
>>690213234
ill continue just because;
> i deliberately pushed my "friends" into drug use so i could make money off of them
> i put dead animals in peoples lockers just to see their expressions
>i got half of my high school high on cannabis tincture
>>
>>690212879
Thanks I guess. Not sure how it's going to end yet.
>>
>>690213732
I sucked my cousins dick once, we must have been 10 or 11. Our families were at a golf resort
>>
>>690190854
>giraffe
fucking lost
>>
>>690190105
Called iPod kids parents and said I found his iPod a fee others did as well/way worse shit
>>
>>690213544
I would love to but I don't really want to go to jail forever. I won't even contact her because she knows who I am and technically I'm under court order not to communicate with her. And gang rape is communication.
>>
>>690213234
Man, you are fucked up. certifiable psychopath. Lets get a pic from you. and what country is your accent from so we can get a feel of what voice to read this in
>>
>>690197730
>>690197683
do u want to tell us something ?
>>
>>690192283
shitty nosound board
>>
>>690211681

>because apparently the phone I was talking on didn't have service

top kek
>>
>>690213931
Probably trippin anon, but thanks for the encouragement!
>>
>>690214371
fuck that dude. Make a fake fb account.
>>
>>690190105
Let's see...
>be 12
>raped friend's 8 year old sister
>bloody little vag
>she never told
>raped her probably 20 more times

>be 10
>with friend playing with matches in empty lot down the street
>it got away from us
>burned about 80 acres down
>one house burned down too

>be 15
>see cop car pull into back parking lot of restaurant
>ride bike over and check doors
>passenger side door is open
>shit on the seat while buddy stands watch
>go hide and wait for the win

>be 26
>local beach is huge spring break destination
>buy several cases of beer, a several cheap foam coolers, and several bags of ice
>trade beers to see teen tits
>one wants entire case
>make deal for anal
>slammed her 14 year old ass as she cried and begged for me to stop

>be 8
>stuck my finger in my asshole

>be 28
>still on /b/
>>
>>690214392
leave us be then, summerfag
>>
>>690193726
What's your deal psychoboy?
>>
>>690214584
this thread gets better and better.
give us details about the anal story
>>
>>690214584
Does blood make for good lube? Just to see if Jimmy Carr was right.
>>
>>690195510
Most of these i can understand but this one stands out.
You are a cunt. And karma is a bitch. Farewell
>>
>>690214584
lol you bastard
>>
>>690211516

>t. Clarence Thomas
>>
>>690199038
fuck
>>
>>690214540
I have one. What good will that do?
>>
>>690214584
>>690214767

Yes, did you actually give her the case or not?
>>
>>690191527
it's on Efukt.com, i forget the name, i jerked off to it before though
>>
>>690214584
I kind of hope you die for what you did to children.
>>
>>690211516
how many pubes did you have left?
>>
>>690214584
You are the man I always wanted to be.
>>
>>690214873
you can get details about her, where she lives, rape her, after the fact take her hard drive and phone and destroy them so you wont be found. win.
>>
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>>690192315
jesus dude. Are we twins?
Thread replies: 285
Thread images: 39


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