>BANG!!!!! Some niggers just broke into your house. They
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>BANG!!!!!
Some niggers just broke into your house. They plan to beat you, tie you up, take your money, property and rape your female relative.
First thing your hand touches on the right is your only weapon.
How fucked are you?
>>689388783
Beer bottle
Could be worse
My unbreakable virginity
>>689388783
my head.
unless this is some sort of metaphor about outwitting them, I'm probably fucked
>>689389003
same
good luck in your nigger bottle fight anon
An indonesian dagger could be worse
Unbent U-bolt rods...
>dead niggers
>>689388783
aluminium tube. I guess I could poke him
A large, unweildy houseplant.
I guess if I snuck up on them?
>>689388783
Face Cream
>>689388783
a half broken fly swatter
To scale replica of aduril flame of the west. game on
My dick. Don't know how that'll play out
>>689388783
I've got a 3mm T-handle driver. These niggers are dead to rights.
>>689389227
Godspeed
>>689388783
Laptop...BUT have a knife in my left already so we're cool.
15 cm army knife, bring it on
a broken ps3 controller
why
My phone
>calls police
>tell them I'm being invaded by wild niggers
>they do nothing
>I call them and told them that I just murdered a bunch of wild niggers
>SWAT TEAM
>>689388783
great time to be cleaning my gun
>>689389468
>>689389479
R.i.p in peace
My fucking mobile phone.
My 150 pound dog. Im good.
>>689388783
Your moms creampie, might scare em off.
a fork
>>689388783
My hand bumped into a fan.
I guess someone's getting beat with a fan.
A towel... Well fuck boi finna relive his ancestral heritage tonight!
>Whips for days
Beer bottle
At least it wasn't the bottle or Sriracha
>>689389866
does it help if my fly swatter is covered in the corpses of a thousand dead flies?.. and some spiders?
My cum towel
It could work
>>689388783
shotgun
no worries here
Not that fucked...
>>689388783
to my right is my actual katana
>>689388783
9mm ruger sitting upon my shelf, hooray for responsible gun ownership.
Ps4 controller
>>689388783
i grab my tv remote and turn on "maury" to distract them til the cops come
>>689388783
Compressed air can. That shit fuck em up.
50ae desert eagle I'm good
>>689390241
is the edge on it sharp?
A napkin dispenser. Maybe it would work. If successful it would be an interesting police report.
>>689388783
How do i kill a nigger with a wireless mouse ?
a mini usb cord.
looks like i'm fucked
>>689390155
>>689390166
cumbine the dubs to create a super weapon /b/ro!!
>stuff cumrag down barrel of shotgun
>will now fire deadly pellets as well as a crusty hardened lump of cumrag at the perp
>will die of severe hemorrhages and HIV
>adds +15 poison to shotgun
A pencil
I could probably kill some niggers with a pencil, depends.
>>689390208
that dollar...
A piece of popcorn I ate is my weapon.
Fuck
Paper
my mouse...
Kempo staff
Bring it gentlemen
An SD card
Rip
>>689390673
just tell them all you got of value is your last "rock" hold it up so they see the large white lump then toss it out the window
conflict avoided
>>689390208
Do they speak Glock?
>BLAP! BLAP! BLAP! BLAP! BLAP!
>BLAP! BLAP! BLAP! BLAP! BLAP!
>BLAP! BLAP! BLAP! BLAP! BLAP!
>BLAP! BLAP! *click*
I has me some fried chicken in my right hand. He'll be distracted and I'll get out
A bowl of chips dip
Toilet paper!
I guess im making myself a zombie and try to scare the niggers off?
A non-sharpened machete....ill take my chances.
>>689391041
I don't even know what I would do with this except for try and make them white enough to stop stealing
>>689389570
mmmm....
>>689388783
empty bottle of Jagermeister
>>689390208
Bro you gonna get tetanus snorting with small bills. 20's and benjis aren't just for showing off...
A baton. Meh
my 3 dogs
>>689390467
Could use to hang said nigger from a tree in your lawn?
>>689388783
My firearm holstered on my right hip, like it is every day from the time I get up til the time I go to bed, even at home.
I'm good.
>>689390520
Kek
>>689389781
You have the answers and the knowledge
Respect
>>689391471
plot twist: it's a 10cm cable
A space heater
A pillow... but it has a zipper and those things fucking hurt in pillow fights.
>>689391307
So far after 10 years I'm still good, but thanks for the protip
>>689390208
Seriously? You are going to post shit like that.. Are you living under a fucking rock?
I know this is /b/ but what with the Orlando Shootings and all you shouldn't post pictures of guns
i dont need to worry, i make good money and live where blacks arnt around
>>689388783
a World War II tank
HEY WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
xbox360
>>689391053
Ghosts scare niggers not zombies
>>689388783
It's a 25lb box of trash bags.
>>689392001
or magic tricks will send them running also
>>689391911
Y not
>>689388783
A bus
>Lucky for me I'm not at home right now
Ill be okay
A Rubik's cube.
>>689391774
Plot twist the niggers are 4cm tall.
A fork
Handy cap railing. Depending on how long it will take me to rip off the wall i could be fine.
my KKK robe
>>689391911
Y not pussy? I'm a legal gun owner. Are they gonna come and check my paperwork?
>>689392363
Kek
niggers beware :3
>>689392243
Might want to insert your magazine the rest of the way.
Job aplication for staples. That will stop em
>>689392363
I wanna see
My work razor
>>689391307
Should I use these instead?
>>689392414
Its disrespectful to the victims and their families asshole
The little dog.
My pillow...
I could have a pillow fight with the niggers and become BFFs I guess.
>>689392480
Ya niggers are afraid of getting jobs
pocket knife, lucky?
I'm good. Gun bitch. Worst mistake of their pathetic lives. Dead in 3.2.1...
>>689392590
not gonna lie, I wasn't paying attention and I thought your thumbnail was of a bald scrotum
>>689392499
i made it by myself
>>689391911
>Why would you post a picture of oxygen? Hitler killed millions of people with gas
> Being that retarded
>>689392610
Disrespectful?
>>689391911
Your post number is 1911
1911 is a colt 45 used in ww2 to kill ppl
Maybe you you should leave you insensitive bastard
>>689391911
Guns didn't kill the fags. islam did.
Ummmmmm....
Fight shit w shit?
>>689392479
I like your piece, m8.
>>689388783
unless he needs his ass wiped, i'm pretty fucked
>>689392649
PLOT TWIST: the niggers actually become your friends and you turn into a nigga as well
>>689390259
>sitting on my shelf
>loaded
>responsible gun ownership
ISHYNDDT tbh fam
>>689392875
Make ur self blend in with them
>>689388783
they broke into my condo complex, passed up all the security, past all the other condos, and climbed all the way to the 14th floor, only to kick my door in and find out I'm a minimalist, and all I own are some old books, a bunch of outdoor clothing that won't fit them, and a 3 year old computer?
lol
poor, poor niggers
>>689392610
I hope this be troll
My naked daughter is next to me. She is 6, do you think he likes them young?
A piece of paper. Pretty fucked.
>>689390326
Pics or you're a lying ass nigger who probably breaks into houses
A mouse...
>>689392479
I just did like that for the sake of the pic. I never have the magazine in unless i really need to
>>689393115
Kek, he is there to rape your female relatives so yup.
>>689393115
>do you think he likes them young?
>>689388783
My penis.
Enjoy getting raped you fucking nigger.
A lightbulb. I'll be A-OK.
>>689392466
Underrated post. Do you live in the attic of a small house?
>>689393115
black guys got big dicks and dont need to be pedo's
>>689390959
Who the fuck has a clip that holds 17 rounds for a glock? What the fuck are the extra 16 bullets for?
A wall
I got this.
I'm not an insecure retard.... so I just have kinda basic every day shit to my right. Like... a pen.. my phone.. some post-its.
>>689393020
Shitouflage
>>689388783
Toilet paper....I'm fucked
My phone, call 911
>>689393115
>First thing your hand touches on the right is your only weapon.
Is she on your right?!
Better start swinging her around wildly
>>689393498
You have to own your own place before being truly secure, mothers basement doesn't count.
>>689388783
I could take my laptopd power cord or a staircase..depends on if Id be able to lift the staircase
Let's see
>Looks right
>Sees Sonic plushie
I'm as fucked as my old waifu pillow
>>689388783
Don't have any rope
Don't have any money
Don't have any property
Don't have a female relative.
Joke is on those niggers.
Toilet brush smeared with shits
>>689392590
I don't mean to sound ignorant, but cant most people go to the bank and withdraw this amount of money?
>>689391911
Nice b8 m8
Stinger p311 6mm cal airsoft pistol
>>689393412
yep. i'd call it a medium sized house, but it really depends on your definition of small.
its nice. i can draw all over the walls and have the whole floor to myself.
>>689393589
kek. I'm sure you'll be able to rapidly give a statement to the officers after the crime has been committed and even if they get caught and prosecuted (happens less often than you think) you still have to live with your ordeal while they get three squares a day and all the drugs they can shank.
>>689393786
Not without being reported to the government
>>689388783
ruger sr-45
i'm not fucked, the niggers are
Center mass.
>>689393786
Yah but then how would be able to show off to the other mouth-breathers on the chan?
>>689393742
Kys tbh fam XD
An office chair.
A Pringles Tube
>>689393786
There are lots of summer kinds here right now, and the place has been filled with Reddit fags who are impoverished, so yes some can but for others they would get that only by robbing the place.
>>689388783
A chair... May the spirit of jackie chan help me
>>689394031
>That staggered shell holder
Double aught up slugs down?
![20160613_122128[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/vgOnglb.jpg "20160613_122128[1].jpg")
>>689393232
you should always keep your gun loaded. people who keep their guns unloaded tend to assume their guns are. that's how people end up with a ND.
>>689392926
thanks buddy. that's just my woods gun that i keep on my desk though. my real home defense gun is in my nightstand when i'm not carrying it.
>>689393115
Why is she naked Wtf?
>>689392567
You gonna give him a shave with that safety razor
my wall. fuck
>>689394249
>>689388783
No niggers would break in. I have three dogs, a perfectly good baseball bat, and a big ass kitchen knife
This
>>689388783
calculator.
I'll manage
>>689388783
fuck you OP I was peeling an apple
I get a knife
>dead nig nogs
>First thing on my right
>My wife
Her morning breath could strip paint, not even a dindu would come near that
My pillow. Guess I'm gonna make it a sexy party.
>>689389071
>first thing your hand touches on the right
>>689394258
Fixed.
>>689391307
Tetanus? Don't you have jabs for that where you're from?
I heard you could get hep C or some shit. Never known it to actually happen.
Just cut a bit of a drinking straw.
>>689394780
There is bothing special about this shitgun lol
>>689388783
lol, go me...we keep the within arms reach of here.
>>689394294
Thanks for the tip but i always assume my gun is loaded even when i know its not. Im really big on safety
>>689393851
>draw all over the walls
Why?
>>689393912
Well wtf else am I suppose to do with it? Ah oh no the white man threw his phone at me! Great now I just got robbed
>>689394780
Ah all slugs, you should stagger some 00 buck in there. I always alternate my magazine tube as well.
>>689395003
.45 ? Why did that disappear
My printer. Not too bad. Guess I'll slam it in the heads of the niggers at the force of a thousand suns.
>>689392590
how much dollaridoos is that?
>>689394998
But the nigs want to play with bullets, it would become "bothing special"
>>689388783
Itt: nerds show off their weapons
Dust them off faggots act like you're using them.
>>689388783
>lives in Japan
>no japanese niggers
Thankfully, i was saved by nature and natural selection
My Make America Great Again hat
>>689395257
Or print out a fake court order for child support payment and scare them off.
Well... I guess it's time to kill some niggers.
>>689395474
too bad niggers can't read
>>689395447
Underrated post
>>689395486
kek that might actually work, many niggers seem to believe in ghosts, black magic and shit like that.
>>689390529
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soAofAWEpGU
PEEEENSIIIILLLL
>>689395588
it was posted less than a minute before you posted, you mong.
>>689394998
Would you rather me wait until they stack behind each other when they breach through my bedroom door?
>>689388783
my cellphone damn
>>689388783
My house already got broke in to twice by niggers, so I always have my gun on me. Literally had to move because of these savages, so I'd probably take them out with no regrets.
>>689395883
Overrated post
Kek
Not fucked at all. I always have a weapon in reach usually. I've lived in the American South my whole life so being prepared for niggers is an everyday thing or you can die pretty easily. Just ask the White South Afrikaans, they can relate. Sucks but its just a way of life. White people that have never lived around niggers could never relate.
>>689395992
I don't think throwing a cell phone would do that much damage
>>689388783
>kek
>a book
If there was ever anything that could stop a nigger it is the written word
>>689388783
>Joystick
I think the boys got this one
switchblade.. done.
>lore nigger with juicy meron
>decide how should I kill him
>>689388783
Either one of my monitors. At least one of them is getting fucked up, plus my female is a fighter and will go for the eyes mountain style.
>>689395307
So you've never seen a stack before eh...
>>689390208
> First thing your hand touches on the right is your only weapon.
> Revolver seems to be on the left of this faggot
That was pretty lame.
>>689396705
No you dumb fuck, it is to the right of the bed, the angle I took the picture isn't the same as the angle where I sit fucking twat.
>>689388783
Fuck out of here stormfags!
>>689391911
That bait.
>>689388783
I have my bat :D
>>689395090
why not?
they have yet to be painted or wallpapered and its really cool to be surrounded by your thoughts, ideas and art.
>>689396235
I lost all of it.
Good luck. My door opens the other way around and is solid as fuck. Plus I don't live in a shithole called USA. I can so to sleep without worrying.
>>689396703
I'm not from the US pal
I invest all my money in stocks and cryptocoins so having large amounts of cash is pretty alien to me
how many muricabucks is in a stack?
>>689388783
My phone
>>689392567
>auto retracting
Nigger that shit would be better off in the trash.
>>689397349
eurofag detected
>>689396705
Does this clear it up for you, summer fag/NEET
>>689396867
This does not make sense. You should quit snorting.
>>689397647
Also known as muslimfag.
>>689389227
>Broken bottle = nigger knife
Winrar I'd say.
If it's from Grape Drank, then it's +1 on hitpoints as well
>>689397702
Sooo, purified water instead ? Stop bragging and just play the game you kiddo
My buttplug?
>>689397702
>>689397962
Or the drawer, your move.
>>689397702
Fire hazard.
>>689397962
>>689398156
I'd rather see pics of revolvers and and where anon racks lines than shitposts about water bottles
>>689390529
Just give it to them
>Illiterate nigger confused
>You make escape
> Niggers profit $$$$
>You live to fight another day
>>689397647
>>689397883
Are you butthurt, you fat cunt? Go and admire your gun you'll never use, unless you decide to shoot up some fags in a bar. Your gun rights are the only thing that make you "free".
At least I live in a safe country and contrary to your statement, the muslim population in my country is below 1%.
Enjoy your freedom
>>689398450
There is /k/ for that man
>>689388783
>GTX 1070 founders edition
thing weighs a ton, i'm worried it'll shatter the mobo when i get around to installing it. get brained with this thing and you'll be feeling it for awhile.
>>689390208
>.22
what's that going to m8?
Hope you didn't niggerout and get a revolver in .22 that looks like .45
>>689392590
+1 for ps vita
>>689392479
>magazine
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Wall
>>689391494
As long as you're not in a
>GAY BAR, GAY BAR, BAY BARRRR....
Right to carry, my ass. Didn't do those queers any good. Most of them were packing (so I've heard)
>>689394324
It's his daughter? Why would that matter?
>>689388783
My phone. Fuck
>>689398630
Enjoy your butt hurt, loser.
>>689395588
>>689395447
typical weeaboo lying
>nigerians triumph as crime lords in japan
there are actually no cities with at least 1 nigerian nigger
kill yourself you lying cuck
>>689392610
Disrespecting their families assholes?
I thought that was part of the remit of being a Gaylord
>>689388783
a fucking pillow
>>689399171
So, this is normal?
>>689399744
Actually yeah, it is. You don't have kids do you?
Desktop fan
>>689388783
g602
Box cutter
>>689397313
Are you a grill?
>my ar15
>because all americans should be armed
>>689392610
It's not the guns fault but the wielder and the person who hired the gunmen
Well it's just a currently unfinished post apocalyptic Metro 2033 like prop, but I think it would scare the shit out of them. And then they would beat me to death.
>>689388783
I´ve got a fairly large mug, I think I´ll be alright if I can hide and then gank them while they are trying to rape my relative.
>>689388783
Glock 42. Nigger's dead, yo.
>>689399911
I dont have sexual relations with kids, but apparently you guys do. No judgment.
>>689390208
legend
>>689388783
Come face me and my toiletpaper niggers
>>689399164
I go out to the [>gay] bar maybe once a month. Otherwise when I drink, it's at home.
If they ever made it legal to carry at the bar, I'd go even less. Not that I'd curtail somebody's right to do so, I just don't have to participate.
>>689388783
>>689388783
Butterfly knife. I might be good
toilet paper
>>689388783
>689388783
25lb weights, could be worse
>>689388783
A pretty nice umbrella. It'll last a few swings but idk how much longer
>>689388783
A hard drive.
Gonna be hard to grip, but it's a little heavy and I can use the edges.
But the main problem is that it's just me against multiple attackers.
>>689388783
>Hand Grenade (No fuse)
A water bottle. But there is very close to me rk 62. Would be awesome to light up some niggers with assault rifle
>>689388783
my phone and call the popo
>>689389216
Why the fuck is your head to the right of you?
Pocket Knife so i'm good
>>689391307
>tetanus
Nigga, you get that from cutting yourself on rusty shit.
>>689388783
A claw hammer.
Aside from the fact that it's at least two against one (dirty fighting niggers), I like my odds.
My bed ???
A spoon
BRING IT ON YOU NIGGER FUCKS, I'LL GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AND FEED IT TO YOUR KID
Well, assuming you didn't run away like you usually do.
>>689402328
I thought OP meant the thing that was in your right hand
>>689388783
My cock is my weapon? Hope that nigger has life insurance
>>689388783
Steak knife.
Good argument for not putting my plates in dishwasher. Thankyou.
>>689396531
It needs to be waddemeloan
>Nikon FG20
>Niggers don't like evidence
>Trigger strobe
>Nignags run
>>689390119
clean your fucking flyswatter m8
>>689388783
spoon. reckon i could do some damage.
>>689397392
40 thousand USD
>>689390520
Kek
>>689392001
Kek
>>689388783
So literally everyone ITT is armed with a mouse unless they're some lefty freak
>>689401092
Sauce
>>689403998
Or a phone, but I see your point.
Obviously we're excluding that, what he meant to say was best thing in reach.
>>689390208
So, you're going to throw the drawer at them?
Headphones
Could be worse i guess?
I live in sweden where everyone pretty much has bank vault safety doors (kinda)
So no. No niggers broke into my house
Tape, fuck
>>689393560
>big nig sniffers
they'll notice you don't smell as bad as them
>>689388783
whiskey glass
bring it on
A glass cup. Could be useful.
>>689405497
do you also have bank windows?
>>689394530
fuck em up
poisoned chicken nuggets
safe.
>>689397702
niggers are weak against water
I have water bottles too. We both gonna make it through this nig wave
>>689388783
The first thing my right hand touches? So I have to.... rape them first.
