There's a spider that's been living off my cum for
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
There's a spider that's been living off my cum for the past 3 months in my parent's basement
Pic is said spider guzzling cum like a whore
neat
Moar?
>>688784148
Kinda like you and your mom. Show us a pic of your mom
>>688784148
this is the old /b/
>>688785146
It's leg is stuck in my cum tonight
Do you jizz directly in the Web or do you collect it and drip it in there?
>>688784148
>>688785680
I just jizz in the general direction and if I miss, it won't eat that day.
Holy shit, is this real? How can it survive off cum alone?
Can spiders even live that long?
This is giving me so many ideas...
>>688785941
there aren't bugs in the house so I have to give it nourishment some how, I'm just being courteous
I think you should capture it in a jar and then cum in jar and record how long it lives
>inb4 spooder gives birth and OP owes child support in 200 babies
You dun goofed OP
If it gets pregnant, I trust you'll do the right thing.
>>688786253
What about air? It might escape if it's open. Or would you poke holes? Not OP btw
OP do you think Cum acts as a drug to spiders? Does it change after it drinks your holy cum?
>>688786253
It's my friend I would never do that, just let it drink my cum the natural way
What the fuck...
Wait, have you PURPOSELY been jizzing beside it to keep it alive?
>>688786253
For science of course.
>>688786461
It usually gets a little erratic because it gets kinda stuck sometimes but other than that, no
>>688786568
>just let it drink my cum the natural way
>spider drinking human cum
>spider drinking cum
>natural
>>688786568
But if he vanishes one day you cant feed him
>>688786621
It's my friend, of course I'm doing it on purpose
OP you are a legend I hope screen capped
This thread reeks of autism
>>688786916
Why would it leave? It's been here 3 months already with a large food supply. Even had another spider there a few weeks ago
How did you come up with this? Why did you start jizzing on poor spoder?
>>688786941
Whats his name
>>688787101
Have you been feeding it for 3 months?
>>688785818
>>688786114
>>688786568
>>688786687
>>688786941
>>688787101
These are all op btw
Timestamp or faggot
Meanwhile OP's actual kids have starved to death
>>688786360
but do they even make coathangers that small?
>>688786330
its not legit if the spider doesnt try to eat his head off
Timestamp or bullshit.
>>688784148
And people say /b/ isn't good...
>>688784148
Ants would demolish my cum if I left a tissue out. Sometimes they'd crawl on me if I was fapping and they'd bite my gooch or butt hole
>>688784148
Are spider pregnant?
>>688784148
I've never meant this more than now.
I want to fucking die.
>>688787511
>>688787394
Underrated post
Spiders can usually live witout eating for up to 6 months. It's not feeding, just getting annoyed. Its soul will rest soon.
>>688787177
One day I didn't feel like cleaning up and I noticed some stuck in this spider web and out came the spider and it starting drinking it.
>>688787210
Lucas
>>688787303
Yes, almost every single day
>>688787346
>>688787462
If you doubt it then just reverse image search it
so do you like cum on it daily, weekly or?
>>688787798
How much longer are you hoping it'll survive?
>>688787798
>Lucas
>Lucas
>Lucas
>Lucas
>Lucas
>>688787798
Seek mental help you fucking lunatic. Tell us when you took a dive into the deep end of the crazy pool.
>>688787041
ty bbg
>>688787782
It goes to the cum and drinks it every single time, it's feeding
>>688787914
Daily
>>688788025
At least through the summer
>>688787394
This is a nice thread. I approve.
This spider is literally eating potential children. I'm fucking terrified now.
>reminds me of this song
http://youtu.be/SE6v8rYJrmU
>>688788102
This is garden-variety insane.
How do you get your cum up on the ceiling?
>>688788233
Dubs don't lie
>>688788228
Nigga throwin mtg cards as reactions gtfo
And this, kids, is what spider porn actually looks like.
>>688788102
Shut the fuck up pussy
>OP and the spider already have kids
>>688788383
>lol yah wtf
>>688788102
>>688788322
I'm perfectly sane, I just accidentally came on a spider web once and kept going for goofs and gaffs
>>688788290
'Straya, cunt
>>688788347
It's low down to the ground
>>688788418
It's like snail porn
>>688788347
Are you serious?
Have Lucas ever bit you ? If he would...what would you do to him ?
Can someone post screencaps, I'm on my phone and this needs to be documented
1. record vid of spider drinking
2. post on pornhub
>>688788475
You're crazy anon, but no crazier than the rest of us, which makes you pretty normal.
>>688788102
Threads like these are what makes /b/ great.
>>688788536
Winrar.
Check my dubs OP
>>688788383
I don't even disapprove. You two seem to have a beautiful relationship OP
>>688788536
DO IT
>>688784148
God fucking dammit I love this website.
>>688788483
Lucas is a kind soul and never leaves the web, but I never go close enough to test that too much
>>688788447
^^probably also cums on spider webs
>>688788652
thanks bb
>>688788731
We get that a lot thanks
>This thread
Say hi to Reddit for me
>>688788640
Fuck that shit dude, jesus Christ lmao
>>688788653
ah shiet - ROLL FOR THE WINRAR
I GOT DUBS M80
>>688788677
Checkd. frank.... This is sick frank.
>>688788826
>We get that a lot
Is this to imply that you've told real people?
>>688784148
>>688788057
Does it fell nice calling some one out? I would feel like my anonymity has been violated
>>688788959
Don't worry nigga, I got your back this time.
Check em boys
>>688788703
Very informative, but debt to the deathless beats your printer card
>>688788536
Next time it hungers I will, but it'll be short
>>688788990
I was kidding I would never tell anyone I cum on spider webs
>>688788640
Good to hear, but I like to think I'm crazier in the normie sense
Ayy op, you may be a fag, but you are legend
>>688789096
FOR WINRAR, FOR LEGION
Hi ender wiggin
Once in a blue moon, /b/ is good. This is one of those times. Thanks, OP
>>688787089
Sure newfag, sure...
>>688789282
SHHHHH you'll blow my cover
>>688789166
Crazy is overrated when the world's gone mad, anon. You keep jizzing on insects if that's your thing.
>>688789373
FGT
You should put him face to face with a bigger male spider, see if this human sperm eating mothafucka' worths that jizz
IF DUBS I SHOW MY DICK
>>688789523
close enough
OP here, I'm gonna let him crawl on my dick and see if he recognizes the smell and doesn't bite me
I have no words. (Except for these.)
>>688789093
Lucas is the spider's name
>>688789177
I get that in all of my threads thanks again bbg
>>688789317
I only post good shit here, but I post rarely. Anyone remember the bird that was microwaved?
>>688789439
I just do it to keep it alive and well, no fetish thing here
>>688789373
^not me
>>688789511
No I feed Lucas like my own offspring, he isn't trash to me
>>688789652
You crazy mother fucker.
>>688789652
>>688789652
bad idea don't do it bruh
if dubbs don't do it
>>688786360
Doesn't the mom eat the dad or something like that?
You have to let that spider eat u if ur the father op>>688786430
>>688789093
Lucas is the spider's name
>>688789177
I get that in all of my threads thanks again bbg
>>688789317
I only post good shit here, but I post rarely. Anyone remember the bird that was microwaved?
>>688789439
I just do it to keep it alive and well, no fetish thing here
>>688789373
^not me
>>688789511
No I feed Lucas like my own offspring, he isn't trash to me
Can someone tell me if/when it gets posted on Reddit? I want to see people's reactions this time around
>>688789688
Give him a bigger spider if he bites you.
>>688789878
i dubbed, you dubbed...he really should put him face to face with anotha' bigger spider
>>688789741
I tried to save you OP
Tried, yet failed RIP
THiS FUckING THREAd
>>688789652
^not me
>>688789741
FUCKING DO IT FAGGOT
Lucas is a lady spider, you better be a good father let her eat you when she lays her eggs.
>>688785428
>tfw you never click on /b/ but today is different
>tfw this is the first thread you see
>>688790081
Oh, alright. You should though.
>>688785818
Relationship goals
>>688790081
FUCKING DO IT FAGGOT
I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF IT WAS YOU
>>688784148
Op, my spider senses are tingling that you should put him on your dick with timestamp.
...
>>688790252
roll
>>688790166
>>688790199
If it recognized the smell, it'd bite my dick anyways. That's the food smell boys
This thread needs a screenshot
>>688790199
Yeah, let's see if this wise guy deserves to live.
>>688790368
You heard the anon!
>>688790347
Good point.
>>688790347
do it fgt
>>688787798
>If you doubt it then just reverse image search it
confirmed fake
>>688790325
This isn't a roll thread, little slugger.
what the fuck
the first time I come onto /b/ for a long time and I see this
So glad I chose not to sleep.
If dubs the spider is now named Reginald
>>688790562
if you dont mind asking how did this start op?
you and the spider hooking up that is.
op have you ever jizzed on a cricket? cum on a bumblebee?
zoomed words?
Zoomed words.
What is happening in this thread holy shit.
>>688784148
>>688790598
>ifunny
Please don't come back again
r/4chan is calling
next time you feed him, add some fucking vitamins,steroids and testosteron, get that mothafucka buff B, you gonn' get yourself a mothafucking spider security guard in no time
>>688790710
Read the thread faggot.
>>688790710
See>>688788475
>>688790736
I just feed the needy
>>688790840
Controlled chaos
Put this in the inevitable screencap, nigger
>>688790681
fuck you its Lucas
I'm not gonna screenshot it but someone better as fuck
>>688790598
lern2crop fgt
also if dubs take spider out for cum dinner date
>>688791000
Trips spoke
OP here
It fell and I stepped on it by accident. Sorry, anons.
>>688784148
Here's some advice OP,
>Grab Lucas
>Insert Lucas in a jar with a small hole on top
>Drown that fucker in your own children
>???
>Profit
>>688791000
trips of truth
>>688791108
Liar Nigger faggot
>>688791108
You're not OP
>>688790598
please leave and don't come back
>>688790146
>mfw you're a fucking idiot
>>688791108
Pic or lying nigger
>>688790598
HOLY SHIT. This really is summer. Get the FUCK OFF MY /B/ you little shit stain. I will personally fuck you up so bad you cunt. I swear to god this board gets worse and worse.
REEEEEEEEEE
>>688791000
Trips confirmed Lucas
>>688791039
you flatter me
>>688791108
^fake nigger
>>688791118
^didn't read thread
Does anyone have the screencap of the dead baby chick that was microwaved and smashed?
Screenshot this shit someone
>>688791267
>tfw we're all fucking idiots
Is it wierd that I have a boner now after reading this?
No timestamp?! GTFO
>>688790598
newfag confirmed
>>688790252
Id dups pls ob, do this
>>688790960
>>688791039
>>688791361
I just screenshotted highlights of thread, slapping them together now. Not putting in reddit-tier "include me in screenshot lel". If thread 404s before I finish I'll upload it somewhere with the title "Lucas the very hungry spider".
>>688791389
Kinda
>>688791426
kys and return to reddit
>>688791468
Live stream your suicide for me bud
This Is Gold
h
i
s
I
s
G
o
l
d
Too late for me to be in screencap?
That'll do
>>688784148
Oh /b/, never change
>>688791665
Go back to erp
>>688791551
Doing God's work, man. Where's the image going? I want to have it.
>>688791665
Go die.
>>688791551
Lucas thanks you
Please get him a female spidy, create a brand new spider breed, with human strengh, maybe inteligence n shit like that
>>688791796
Timestamp?
>>688791796
Is brown recluse?
Can you tell the spider that I started a facebook page for him
>>688791881
Nigger if you can't tell that's a fuckin female spider. IDIOT. Male spiders are much smaller. SMH
>>688791881
Literally no one wants spider babies in their house.
The question is, is the spider a male or a female?
WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD AUTISTIC
Someone post screencap here
>>688791904
Faggot?
>>688792057
Welcome to 4chan.
>>688792063
screencap to large i tried
>>688792057
do you really even need to ask
>>688792004
I did once
>>688787468
these kinds of thread are rare and therefor golden.
the rest of /b/ is mostly porm webm/cancerous ylyl/trap/shitty rekt threads
>>688790878
Don't talk to /b/ or my son ever again.
>>688792186
How was it?
>>688792015
You don't know what Lucas identifies as. leave Lucas and its gender fluidity alone you cis scum!
Saw this on Reddit lel
Lucas new facebook page has 3 likes now>>688791974
>>688792057
newfag. this thread is generally as good as it gets here.
>>688787597
die then
>>688792015
Female
>>688792138
>>688792164
No, I get it, 4chan, but what the fuck
This thread needs to be sprayed with chemo
>>688792298
What subreddit? This is a legendary thread.
>>688792147
Then post a link in the thread...
>>688791904
I'd have to go dig through things to find paper, so no. But you can reverse image search.
>>688791974
He's very excited
>>688792015
It's actually a girl but I like the name Lucas
>>688792057
I'm posting about cumming on a spider's web for sustinence, why do you think?
>>688792147
Someone post screencap somewhere
>>688792491
Stfu this is gold. Appreciate it
That's some pig
Just screenshotted everything on this thread kek. See you on /r/4chan boys!
>>688791738
I'll title it "Lucas the very hungry spider", if you google that with the quotes you'll find it once I finish.
>>688792491
This thread is the least cancerous since 2016 started
Make a webm of you jizzing on the spider
>>688792628
Gold, yes, but the type of gold that causes children to be born with various physical or mental abnormalities
>>688792685
Oh my gosh! I'm gonna tell all my friends!
Radiant
>>688792685
>>688792298
I'll post Lucas with timestamp on reddit if I see it there sometime tomorrow
>>688792274
>be me
>sleep on floor all time
>see one night while game
>spoder climb down wall onto leg
>want to kill spoder but dont
>see spoder bud few times a week
>spoder is pet
>notice a bunce of smaller spoders one day
>never see mom spoder a gain
>all baby spoders gtfo of room faster than jews from auchwits
>tfw everyone leaves me even spoder pet babys
>>688792762
Like, what website? Not like you're going to upload it to Google.
>>688792685
Great, friend!
>>688789166
make sure to make a thread with a link like every 2 hours if the previous hasn't died
that way everyone will be able to see it
oh,and if pornhub doesn't work for some reason you got heavy-r.com
>>688792925
>>688792775
so much for least cancerous
>>688785818
what
>>688792833
Also, check'd
Humble
>>688792925
I need a higher quality version of that pic
>>688784148
If dubs kill it
>>688793164
Reroll
>>688792879
Lucas is now named Charlotte
>>688792775
that means a lot here, thanks
>>688793076
It is what it is
>>688793164
No
Terrific
>>688793164
>>688793218
Fucking monsters.
Have you observed any differences in these last 3 months ? anything related to him
>>688792925
Jesus HACHE fucking CHRIST I got cancer from reading that. SUMMERFAGS LEAVE
>>688792775
>>688793152
If dubs build a house for it and put the house over its web
>>688793234
Are you gonna let us "what do" or not
>be spider
>chilling with roommate
>he starts fapping
>again?!
>he keeps staring at me
>confused
>ooh lucas
>get spider oner
>he cums all over me
I-I love you too...!~
>>688793325
>>688792925
>>688793234
Can you show us the delicate process of feeding it right now
>>688793300
>>688793033
How is my lyfe experiences cancer?
>>688789688
Do anyone have that microwaved bird?
>>688792309
What's the page called? I can't find it
Go get a lady spider and make some hot spider lesbian porn.
>>688792521
>having to dig through your shit to find paper
Op post pics of your parents basement
>>688793509
Is this bait or are you for fuckin real? I come on this board to enjoy my keks but you have to ruin it. FUCKIN NEWFAGS
POST THE SCREENCAP ON IMGUR
>>688793509
You severely overused "spoder" if someone was just tuning in they would have thought you were talking about a fucking potato
>>688793657
I've done that, only results in one capturing and eating the other.
if dubs you'll be called from now jizzpider man
>>688793841
Juicy
>>688793863
roll
if dubs we all get cancer
>>688793293
He grew a lot but he was a wee lad back then
>>688793365
No because you'll kill it
>>688793652
Yeah I'm curious too
>>688793719
It's a figure of speech, paper might be upstairs
>>688793850
Yeah I don't want to risk Lucas's life
OP you're gonna be like that guy who looks like the faggot dog
>>688793949
Take a pic of your hand with your pinky finger up with lucas in the shot then.
what up screencapper
If dubs OP shows dick
>>688784148
Its just like my japanese animus!
>>688794276
>tfw no spider waifu like OP
>>688792775
nah bro you missed op piercing his penis and it bled
>>688791307
>/B/
both of you newfags need to leave, post haste.
I wish this thread could last forever...:(
>>688794612
>mfw this entire fucking thread
>>688794623
Let's get a mod in here and have them sticky it
pun intended
keep this going unitl screen shot
>>688794623
unfortunately there is no such thing as perfection
>>688794706
>>688794742
This thread really isn't that interesting.
This thread got boring.
>>688794845
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Jeff?
OP you have to kill it if you want to make this thread go down with a bang
>>688795009
It's the only way.
>>688794845
this
he jizzed on his spider a couple times
thats all
You should crate a nice habitat for Lucas, give him a proper life, he's a fucking legend now.
>>688795009
He has to take a picture mid jizz if he wants this thread to have a good ....CLIMAX
>>688794612
You said youll record yourself jizzing toward the spider & that youll post the video on a porn site. What porn site will you post it on, and what will you name the title?
>>688795000
No
>>688795058
No
>>688795009
No
>>688795093
Maybe
Sacrifice Lucas to the spider cum gods
>>688795009
Or let her crawl on his dick.
>>688787101
>Even had another spider there a few weeks ago
>Even the spider living off your cum has more of a life than you do, OP
>>688795165
Probably pornhub, if not then mless
"Spider guzzles cum like a whore"
>>688788475
>I'm perfectly sane, I just accidentally came on a spider web once and kept going for goofs and gaffs
>>688787468
this is some oldschool /b/ shit right here
This thread
15-20 minutes of entertainment
This is the peak of /b/
This is what we all lurk for, in hopes of finding a thread like this
This was shit
>>688784148
Should make my own Lucas too?
I need that screencap before I go to bed
>>688795093
This
>>688795550
>This was shit
Huh?
im intrested in buying luca's first born, if you're willing to sell it
2003+13
you'all fags dont even cum feed you spiders
>>688795778
and just like that, a new market emerges
>>688795548
this image seems backwards.
>>688795778
Send $100 to my steam and I will
Ara ara~
You want to feed me your cum, Anonkun?
>>688788510
I am screencapping will make it presentable and post in a new thread
>>688795325
Kek
>>688795651
Maybe he meant "The shit."
>>688796131
Is that a high defenition photo of lucas
Not the prettiest, but it's something.
>>688796149
how long?
this thread gives me no hope
jizzpiderman is good
but Jizzus never cum back
I feel like this is going to end really soon, please someone start another thread with the same subject, we must keep discussing this shit over here. LOVE IT
>>688794612
SLAUGHTER THE BITCH
>be me
>be ogrefag
>fap one day
>imagine myself as a spider having sex
>imagine wrapping my food in my web that comes out of my dick
>hardasfuck.webm
>start jerking the gherkin
>imagine the female spider eating my head off
>almost about to cum
>see a spider chillin in the corner
>cum on it
>sudden realization I am an arachnosexual
>feelsbadman
>>688796349
probably 10 minutes i an making sure i screencap everything OP says
>>688796328
We did it, boys.
>>688788475
>Straya, cunt
suddenly i understand
Can you find out what kind of spider Luca is ?
>>688796397
It's not like it's hard to do. This is your time to shine anon
This thread has officially reached legend status.
>>688796509
Make sure you screencap everyone commenting on how shitty and uneventful it was.
