Need advice about my gf /b/.
My girlfriend is out of town working and is returning back next week. She's not a big texter and isn't the type that has to talk everyday. I'm the opposite but I compromise and barely text her throughout the day. She was fine with our set up.
3 nights ago I tried to call her (it was around 11pm and I hadn't sent a single text to her that day). She wrote back "Baby, I'm about to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow". I write her "Ok, when?" and she snapped on me (she hates whenever I ask this question as her schedule is so variable she doesn't know and has told me she hated this question in the past). We agreed to talk the next day and ended the convo. But I was pissed and tried to call her and disconnected both calls immediately. Then she texted me saying she thought we settled this and I told her she basically pissed me off getting so upset over the question that I work and need to know when I can call her. She said the question pissed her off and explained how she works as well but doesn't know her day-to-day schedule until the day of. She said she didn't want to make it mandatory we talk everyday and asked if I couldn't go a day without talking to her.keep in mind I hadn't even texted her at all that day and my first call attempt was at 11pm. She said she didn't need my neediness and I was being controlling and had enough of the convo and went off to bed. I told her goodnight.
We haven't spoken since. I bought her plane tickets to come back and I know she'd expect me to pick her up at the airport.
I also know if I text her "Hello, how's it going?" as if nothing happened she'd carry the conversation forward and things would go back to normal
But here's my question: Should I do that? Should I text/call her or let her reach back out to me?
I don't know what to do. If I text her the silence game will end immediately.
>>688344724
give her her fucking space and don't be so fucking clingy
>>688344426
Stage 4 clinger detected, tell your gf to enjoy the legion of cawk she's grudge bucking right now.
>>688344426
Correction: I meant she disconnected both calls immediately when I tried to call her after our first discussion ended.
Secondly, if I don't reach out to her first I imagine she could go no contact on me up until the point she comes back next week.
This is why I'm not sure what to do. Contact her first or not.
Sounds like you're single again.
>>688344426
your a huge pussy faggot
>>688344912
How am I a stage 4 clinger? I barely talk to her while she's been away. I had went 2 days without talking to her prior to our argument because she was with some girlfriends. Now it's been about 3 days since that argument and no contact.
>>688345143
then man up, fucking apologize for being annoying, and leave it fucking be
>>688345143
In my opinion you're not a clinger, you just sound like you like to stay in touch with eachother, know how's it going and stuff. But it sounds like you guys don't have the emotional bond needed for a stable, interactive relationship. She sounds like a strange girl, I'd be hesitant if this is the true one for me in your shoes.
If your girlfriend doesn't want to talk to you every day (or just in general), then she shouldn't be your girlfriend. Man up and break it off, it's obviously not a great relationship for either of you.
>>688345328
This right here you don't need to talk all day every day but a simple hey how are you or I'm thinking of you is certainly healthy. I'd proceede with caution my man. I've seen women like this and honestly they almost always aren't faithful and or just aren't happy with things overall.
>>688345328
>>688345421
I'm OP of the first comment, I agree with this guy.
>>688345328
Solid assessment. You're exactly correct. I like to keep in touch with her, see how her day is going. She's the complete opposite. I'm starting to question that about her. Also, she asked me to borrow her some money when she returns and you'd think if she knew I could potentially give her some money she'd be extra nice to me. Nope.
>>688345297
Based on past experiences I don't need to apologize. Basically I could text her "Hey, how's it going" she'd respond and we'd never bring up the argument and carry on as usual. So I'm left debating whether to do that or play the "how many days will it take her to text me" game.
>>688344426
Post a picture of her. I wanna see the type of beta I'm dealing with. If she it's a model do that shot. If She's ugly Fuck that bitch. I wouldn't ever let my gf talk to me like that
>>688345575
> I've seen women like this and honestly they almost always aren't faithful and or just aren't happy with things overall.
You've nailed it. She's been an utter bitch lately because she's been stressed out about her finances and takes that shit out on me. Everytime I did call her the convo led to her bitching about her job and bitching about all the bills she owes. She's been a horrible person to be talk to lately.
>>688345740
She is a model. Not lying, she isn't the model in OP though some other bitch I know about due to her profession. That's why I put up so much shit with her because of her 10/10 looks.
Also, dating a model IS NOT what it's cracked up to be. She's a normal fucking bitch behind her looks and a depressive and a fucking entitled one at that. If she were fucking average or ugly I would have broken it off by now.
>>688344426
I know since you're OP that this is impossible, but stop being such a faggot.
>>688345803
Man, just break up with her. Sounds like she doesn't truly love you, just sounds like that common, disrespectful cunt that doesn't know shit about life. You could be in whatever situation, but if you truly connect you don't take it out on someone you love, but she probably doesn't love you anyway. Like I said if i were in your shoes, I'd break up.
>>688345654
I would think long and hard before loaning money to a woman who clearly doesn't have the same idea of what a relationship as you do. Sorry man, I obviously don't have all the details, but from what you've said I would be worried that she's not actually into you and is using you for security/safety net purposes.
>>688345989
If you date someone for their looks which is pretty much what you do since she sounds shallow as fuck you aren't much better than her anyway I guess.
>>688345994
>>688345989
I think you guys both nailed it. She's been away working overseas for several weeks and I haven't seen her in a long ass time. I was waiting till she returned next week to see how things are going to play out.
get out of that relationship asap OP
this kind of women are the worst.
if you love someone you're supposed to enjoy the time you have with that person to talk/hang out
she's being a bitch and needs time away from you because she doesn't love you and doesn't need you.
she's just a bad person.
>>688345803
Your girlfriend is a model who doesn't pay a lot of attention to you but wants money from you and is always stressed about her finances? Dude, it's only a matter of time before she's sucking someone's D for the money, if she hasn't already. String her along for sex if you like, but taking this relationship serious will only result in pain for you.
>>688346252
This is truth.
The problem is she is flying in next week. I know she'll expect to see me when she does. But I could see her totally ignoring me until she comes back in. I wanted to see how the dynamic went when she came back. I imagine we won't last much longer.
I still can't decide whether to text her the 'hey whats up' or let her get back to me
>>688346160
I wouldnt buy her a sabdwich with that attitude, much less a plane ticket. Fucking dump her - better have a person you love and care (and reciprocates), than a 10/10 bitch that gives 2 shits about you.
Glhf
Tell her how you feel, that you want there to be a bond and trust between you two and that it's important to you. If she can't respect that and reciprocate, then you should either break up with her or just keep to yourself. If she really cares, she'll reach back out to you.
>>688345950
I dated a model. That's y i ask. But it also depends. My x gf's parents are rich asf. With no sons i was gonna take over their business. That's the only reason i was in it. Bs to tyre side she was really stupid
She is most likely cheating on you. Not knowing your schedule is a sign that you do not know if you are going to spend time with the other person
That kind of lack of communication could work if it was what you both wanted. Since it's not what you want I'd let her go. You can't change her and you certainly shouldn't try to change yourself. Her irrational annoyance level is definitely a red flag. Get out before it gets ugly anon!
>>688346521
The
>>688346317
She is a golddigger. She admitted it. I don't know why she got with me. I'm can't afford to keep her afloat. She thought I was fun last year when we met but then guess "real life' hit her.
Majority of modeling jobs are shit. Even in NYC. You get paid to work a week then don't work 1-2 weeks after that. Then get a job here and there and then don't get a paycheck until months later and if you want the check earlier they deduce a % off it for advance. They also exploit her by using her photos in advertisements that should pay 1,000s of dollars but underpay them with just a few hundred. Modeling is a shit job for most women, despite their good looks.
this is pretty funny.
because this is exactly how i act when my fuckbuddy gets too atached and clingy.
you're a beta cuck, m8. lel
>>688346160
God speed anon. Break it off and enjoy life. That's too much baggage to deal with. Especially in a relationship where your feelings aren't mutual when it concerns one another. If you bothe loved one another and had a deep connection you would be willing most likely to hang tough and see it through.... Your willingness to contemplate ending things speaks volumes about your feelings about the relationship and I think it's time to let her go... Good luck buddy I've been in this situation before too.. It's all part of maturing and growing
>>688346395
let her get back to you. you never go after people who turn their backs at you. if you go after her this kind of attitude will become a pattern and she'll always do this kind of shit to inflate her ego and to make you a fool running after her.
women are poisonous creatures.
DO NOT TEXT her
>>688344426
Fuck man, I don't know if she's important to you but from your own words you sound like a fucking clingy insecure creeper... Man up relax and just be at the airport, apologize and tell her it's whatever MANLY excuse (you were jealous, horny, had some plan to buy dope and get fucked up when she returns, etc.) that you think will fly best... Then after she leaves learn to fucking cope, get a girl on the side to keep you busy or some fucking hobby... Worst case scenario she wants to break up or is cheating on you... Either way turn the tables on her and after you make her feel like shit for her shutting you out when you had legit concerns to be on top of her (you didn't but she wouldn't know) fucking move on... It's cringey that you're justifying yourself about not having texted her as if you deserved a fucking prize or something, put the onus on her to call/text you and if she's going on an unreasonable standard in normie terms (eg she's blowing you off during weekends or whatever her days off are) then you know she's just messing with you... For moving on (either with or without her) you have to stop treating yourself like a fucking doormat and learn to chill...
>>688346856
Wall of text, cringy af. How old are you?
>>688346739
THANKS. This is what I NEEDED to hear.
I won't fucking text or call her then.
Her flight is early next week. I imagine she'll contact me by the time she leaves so I can pick her up at the airport. If she goes that long without texting me I may leave her ass there and not pick her up at all.
>>688346856
Thanks brother.
>>688347017
I wouldn't pick her up in any case at all, why would you? She clearly doesn't care about you as a human person or the relationship
>>688346990
old enough, serious? give it a go picking it apart, I've got some time...
>>688347017
see? you WANTED to hear that because you already know that this is the right thing to do. you always knew.
women like this are the worst and will always be. she is a spoiled piiece of shit btw. leave her ass there if she keeps actting like this
Dude I've dated models actresses pretty girls in general I'm not super handsome or rich. But I have a very high self esteem. I don't put up with this kind of shit don't call her and don't pick her up and found should don't give her any money. Watch how she responds. If she starts chasing you she was yours all along if she doesn't dump her you'll feel better anyway. I'm a master at using my past conquests to meet another beautiful one I suggest you learn the same
Bang a hooker. Break up with grill, find new grill. PROBLEM????
Honestly, it sounds like she's fed up with previous convos that go just like this. I think you're maybe a bit insecure. This conversation is definitely not a reason to assume she is cheating.
>>688347627
I don't suspect she is cheating at all. She's coming here in a week. I was more or less concerned whether to call her first or let her get back to me. The last time we spoke our argument was sort of unresolved and bad feelings may have been left as a result.
The advice I'm getting is DO NOT reach out to her first and this is what I'll stick to.
>>688347570
Thanks brother, good advice.
What if she doesn't text me until a day or two before her flight and wants me to pick her up? This would have been basically not hearing from her an entire week in this scenario.
Also,
I feel guiltly asking her that question when I knew she'd respond that way.
This is one struggle I have with waiting until she contacts me to talk with her.
I want to contact her and apologize first and let things go back to "normal".
But you guys still say don't contact her? If so, given this I will listen. I just feel shitty cause I feel like I could fix it if I reach out first. I don't see her contacting me within the next few days and she has long work hours up until friday anyway.
>>688344426
She's most likely cheating
Fuck. What makes it worse is she is on facebook right now. Sitll nothing from her since the argument.
>>688347017
I think you're on the right track OP.
Honestly, life is too short to put up with this shit. If she doesn't care enough about you to talk even briefly then the days are numbered on the relationship are numbered.
One suggestion though....fuck her one last time. A good angry fuckin'.
>>688348525
>the days are numbered on the relationship are numbered.
what the fuck did i even type there?!?!
>>688348525
Thanks. My predicament is do I send her a 'hey, what's up' text and see how she responds or continue not reaching out to her until she contacts me? The convo we had ended so badly and it pains me just being so uncertain after it.
>>688348163
There is no reason for you to contact her first if she is rather shallow and not interested in hearing you daily, that is very weird, if you don't hear eachother at all in one day either you or her don't truly love the significant other. In this case it's her so she should apoligize, but she won't because she doesn't really love you. She's like said earlier in it for the security and money, she clearly can't handle anything you do or say, that's not love...
If you apoligise you are just being disrespectful to your own norms and values. Wait until she contacts you first and if she contacts you in a functional way like asking you to pick her up she clearly doesn't give a fuck at all about you. How can you go a few days without hearing how's it going and what your significant other has been up to?
You are too attached to her while she isn't at all. No emotional band whatsoever, you are postponing break up like this. You or her won't keep handling this shit your whole life, not the right one for you. It's her fault for being a spoiled cunt, disrespectful and shallow.
>>688344426
>asking a bunch of basement-dwelling cunts for relationship advice and actually expecting something
seriously, you ask /b/ for help on this? If I had to guess, half of the people on /b/ never had a relationship that lasted more than half a month, and the other half are stupid, judgemental cunts who should kill themselves.
Listen to your heart and do what feels best.
>>688347570
Le fedora tip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbHxlS2o-m4
>>688348354
Sounds like you need to listen to your own words, OP. You said she's just like any other girl and you've already aired all the trouble she's been giving you. You need to at least stop putting her on this pedestal where she's running the relationship. This is a partnership, whatever it is, it's not one person running the show.
I'm in a good relationship now with a model (I know, I'm a huge lying faggot) and we've had rough patches but it's gotten a lot better since I stopped worrying about losing her because of her looks/success. If you trust her, trust her, but don't let her kick you around. She's with you because you're the guy she wanted to be with when she met you, try to keep that in mind.
Also, let's see some pics of your girl.
>>688348649
Don't say anything to her until she says something to you; if she doesn't say something to you, you know what to do
Come with answer too
>>688348761
>>688349229
Thanks. I'll continue with no contact. This is incredibly difficult for me because in the past I would apologize (despite it not being my fault) and things would carry on like normal and she'd start communicating with me more regularly after it. But this time I need more self-respect. I badly want to text her and let things go back to normal, but I'll refrain and stay strong.
>>688349011
I don't want to post her pics for the simple fact I'm on her social media which I hate.But I will say she did shit for big names for luxury brands in NYC. She had a a very good agency as well.
I've been with my wife since I was 15 & she was 14 we're now 40 & 39 we've spoke to each other every single day since we met.Basically if your girl can't be arsed to have a 5min convo with you & doesn't give a fuck about speaking to you she shouldn't be your girl.Sounds like she's a very selfish control freak
>>688349885
well maybe it would be better to share some pictures that aren't on social media
>>688348649
No.
The ONLY text you should send is on her day of arrival. No need to be a dick and leave her sitting at the airport.
You pick her up, fuck the shit out of her, then tell her what's up. If she can't come to some kind of compromise to give you a little communication then break it off.
>>688345143
You dun goofed when you let her go on vacation with her friends. She will probably come back and tell you that she cheated on you.
>>688344426
End it now. My ex did the same shit, she was hitting on other dudes, she was thirsty as fuck. Seriously, just do it.
>>688344426
dude forget about it and chill out. you just said you apologize even if its not your fault and its gonna become a pattern if not already is. find something fun to do while shes gone maybe hit up a few chicks at the bar fuck around a bit and then fuck your girl when she gets back. talk with her about your relationship and then break it off if its gonna go to shit.
>>688350179
this
She sounds like a mental bitch. Don't apologize for doing nothing wrong. You want to move on it's obvious, I had a fairly similar situation and it ended up with her running off with an ex, now I have a slightly less attractive girlfriend but she's sweet and kind and she wants attention from me.
>>688350112
Imagine any generic looking Russian model. They all look the same. She looks like a generic version of pic.
>>688350179
OK. I'll stick with that. I do want to fuck her one last time and that's one major reason of holding out so long.
>>688350037
She doesn't mind daily communication. It was I pissed her off asking WHEN she could call me the following day. If I would have told her "ok, sounds good talk tomorrow" she would have continued texting me daily.
I pissed her off and now she isn't contacting me period. I could remedy it by texting her and acting like nothing is wrong.
But I still plan to hold out and not text her period until she contacts me.
>>688347201
I Hope its bait, because you fool yourself if you seriously think il waste my time analysing that shit you wrote.
Keep it cool and dont blow her phone up.
>>688344426
OP is clearly insecure as fuck.
GF is likely hotter than he deserves.
Will always like/chase his GF more than she will for him.
Probably expects her to cheat.
She probably hasn't cheated, but his insecurity is pushing her to considering it or a break up.
OP doesn't understand how needy he is.
OP's relationship is likely doomed.
>>688345421
Yeah he seems so carefull the way he tells this, i would say he fears her
>>688346317
Yeah don't focalize on work, try to kbow her better and give to her from heart, since she seems matérialist and busy it will give out some change.
>>688349011
Yeah she is on a pedestral and you kbow it, but don't worry about you love her more than countrary, just take care you're not too hurted in your feelings. That's important.
>> find hdr a gift the best you can afford, and observe if you love her reaction : do you love her?
Video for Video and pic for pic on kik
jukie05
;)
>>688350650
>>688350524
>>688350932
I haven't apologized and now won't. But it doesn't mean I couldn't send a 'hey, what's up' text and carry on as if nothing happened. If I continue the no contact game until she flies out then it will seem like there is a problem between us. If I send a 'hey, whats up' text it will move us forward.
So, despite this, still go no contact? What is the reasoning behind it. Sorry. my emotions are overshadowing logic here
>>688351168
this
>>688351168
OP here, then what do you recommend? I don't think she has cheated-- despite my worries of it.
Yes, she is full blown way hotter than I deserve. I usually date 6s-7s. She's a 10.
Do I text her a 'hey, what's up' and carry on as normal or play this 'don't contact her until she contacts me' game? (which I am currently doing)
>>688351276
Whatever you do, it's just temporarily. In the long run you know you just aren't made for eachother, she needs someone who is as shallow, disrepectful as her so they both don't need daily contact but then they won't have a good emotional bond anyway.
Whatever you do no, good or not, in the end she isn't the right one, postponing a break up imo.
Lol op posts for opinions then ridicules anyone who gives negative opinions (e.g whenever someone says he's clingy)
gg 10/10 human bean when I was reading it I kept thinking gosh clingy
>>688345297
Fucking beta cuck faggot
>>688351642
yes. blame her for your insecurity. that'll help you sleep (alone) at night
Stop being a betafag
>>688346534
This
>>688347570
Sure you have basement dweller
>>688351642
Or take your time, changes need a long time to be done/inplemented
>>688352012
People who don't love you or even care how's it going and don't bother to ask won't just love you. If they suddenly do, they just need money like in this case. His GF doesn't care about him and she is a golddigger.
Video for Video and pic for pic on kik
juki05
;) teenz
>>688352243
So if this is the case what do you recommend for:
Do I text her a 'hey, what's up' and carry on as normal or play this 'don't contact her until she contacts me' game? (which I am currently doing)
I feel like I could end the no contact thing today with that simple text
>>688351276
Dawg youre acting like the girl in the relationship. Give no ficks and everything will be gravey.
>>688352243
But maybe it's not a crisis, SG could be not very emotional... I do am too, but still love some people...
>>688351168
>>688351622
Any recommendation I make will likely fall on deaf ears. You can't just FIX being an insecure fuck overnight.
You need to figure out why you're being such a scared pussy.
Then you need to apologize to her for being such an insecure asshole, and taking it out on her.
None of that matters if you don't mean it when you say it tho, because you'll just pull your bullshit again at a later time...
>>688344426
>doesnt want to talk to you every day
This relationship sounds horrible. You could do better
>>688344426
I'm the same way as your gf. I hate when people constantly ask me for specifics I don't have. At the end of a long day, when she's tuckered out, and you start asking her "when," while she doesn't know, the snap is completely reasonable, especially since you're saying this has happened before. The fact that you keep track of the time between moments you speak to her at all proves you're just being annoying.
Go with the flow a little more. Apologize for being annoying, not clingy, but make it a small apology, not a big thing. She'll probably apologize for snapping too, but you don't require that. Exercising a "silence game" just shows you're trying to be controlling. You're manipulating her, instead of just being open, honest, and earnest. Emotions are fine, both positive and negative, but making it a competition instead of a dialogue is what slowly kills relationships. You're prioritizing yourself over her. Fix it, and just work to be a cool guy. Text/call her whenever you have something fun or interesting or lovey dovey to tell her, instead of as part of a daily ritual. Be spontaneous instead of regimented.
You sound very analytical. I know the feeling. But you're overdoing it by far. Try to focus on the big picture and what the two of you have, instead of these little spats. As soon as the emotional response wears off, always try to take a step back and look at things from the top down again. You'll be fine.
Just write a long long letter, with all of this we (you) should be very inspired
>>688352890
Thanks for this advice. Yes, I'm very analytical and in situations like these it doesn't help. You described exactly how she feels.
Instead of apologizing (and making it seem like I've been letting this brew inside of me for the past 3 days) would it be appropriate to simply text 'hey, how's it going?' or some other simple ice breaker and act like none of that affected me?
>>688352505
You still don't really get it. It's not about playing 'games' or whatever you exactly mean, it's about the future of this relationship, how the relationship is going etc. The emotional bond clearly isn't here and she isn't someone to have a serious relationship with because of earlier stated reasons.
The only thing you should end here is the relationship. Do you think living together with someone who doesn't care or want to hear from you everyday is even possible in the future?
It feels like you're in a relationship with a girl with a nice packaging, but useless content man. It's just how it is, you can find a girl that truly cares about you, genuinely cares about you and shows interest in what you do on a daily basis. You are ruining and disrespecting yourself but I guess you're quite young and haven't had many relationships yet, I wouldn't listen either in yoru situation, you'll have to discover it yourself.
Do what you want with your 'game' honestly, in the end this won't work, this whole relationship.
Did you call her at 11 pm? I'd. Be pissed off too. She's out of town? In a fucking different time zone? 11pm is too late dude. 2am for her? This could be possible.
>>688353435
He means she only has business in her life, not you, nothing built already
>>688351168
>>688351622
>>688352746
Also, anyone giving you the advice "you can do better" is just emotionally jerking you off.
Your GF probably has less issues with talking to you everyday and has more of an issue with the fact that you clearly and blatantly don't trust her.
You probably think you're doing a totally fine job not showing your insecurity and fear "that she will leave you some day," but instead, it oozes through every pore in your body and through every word you speak to her.
So yeah, maybe you CAN do better.
But you'll likely fuck that relationship up too.
Deal with your shit OP
>>688353629
Same time zone it was 11pm her time too after traveling all day. Bad timing on my part.
>>688353435
I know you're right and I'll learn the hard way. She will spend 24/7 with me in person and be very sweet and pleasant. She is a very good gf around me in person, but whenever she goes out of town for work she becomes cold and distant.
>>688352890
Follow up. I went to her house yesterday and did some landscaping with a friend of hers (helping take care of the house while she's away) and we cleared a good bit of her yard out. I could use that as the perfect excuse to contact her if I wanted.
>>688352746
This is spot on.
>>688354212
What do you recommend? Should I end this game and contact her? No, you're exactly right it oozes out of me despite my attempts to hide it.
If I contact her then it'd be to ask how she is, and say this >>688354227 about landscaping her backyard and how it looks better now. it'd be a good way to break the ice
>>688354449
Just tell her you miss her, or really miss her if not understanding (you look clever)
>>688354449
If you desperately feel the need to annoy her while she's obviously working out of town and doesn't feel the need to interact with you right now you are being a selfish, controlling, ass. Let it go and explain yourself when she gets home and has rsted up a bit. My wife used to do this shit to me and it made me actively want to get away from her.
>>688354212
>>688354449
The fact that you're STILL looking for a bullshit "convenient" way to reach out to a person you put your dick inside, kinda sums it all up.
If you're actually sorry, then say something like "look, I'm sorry that I get so nervous and weird when you leave town. I know I act like I don't trust you, despite you doing nothing to deserve that, but it's not that. I just care about you, and I don't feel like I'm good enough for you, and I'm afraid that one day you'll wake up and realize this and leave. I'm afraid that I'll lose you, and I'm letting that fear push you away. I'm sorry."
But again, none of that will matter unless you ACTUALLY mean it, and will ACTUALLY do something about it.
>>688354919
ok. i just feel shit as i said many times over for the argument we had which hasnt been resolved. I dont know if she's still pissed at me or thinks I'm pissed at her or what.
>>688353397
But it has been brewing. Hiding that is a lie of omission, and isn't conducive to being "open, honest, and earnest." An icebreaker is fine, but remember what that is: a method to open a dialogue towards actual substance.
My suggestion: DO just start talking to her. But after a few moments, maybe a joke or whatever the organic conversation takes you to, slip in something like "Hey, so, the last time we spoke I left it on kinda bad terms. I just wanted to apologize for that. Blah blah blah." Then move onto something else. Keep the conversation moving. Like ask her about the most fun thing she's done over the last few days.
This way you're showing that she's important to you enough for you to not forget your slight, yet the situation wasn't one that you were "brooding" on some way to "win" the argument. Open and honest to show that it clearly affected you, but not so much that it makes you weird.
When in doubt, always keep the conversation moving, and not just on dumb "so how's the weather? What'd you eat?" bullshit. Discuss ideas and hopes and dreams more than events or people; not that those need to be totally avoided. The trick to being interesting and having that "confidence" everyone tells you about is nothing more than being truly intrigued by stuff, and following through on learning about it. When you have things that drive you, outside of just managing your relationships with people, it shows, and the rest comes naturally.
>>688355140
But what you REALLY fear here? I feel there is something not said, like you're obsessed with her and dob't wanna assume nor tell...
OP pls see the image
I'd try stop using such open ended no direction question like 'what's up?'
Show you care. Ask directly about something. 'How was your morning? ' or 'Did you see that episode of your favorite show?'
Not exactly encouraging a conversation with ' 'Sup?"
>>688355176
thanks man.
>>688355330
well, she has requested I co-sign a significant loan for her to help renovate her house and wants to know if i'll help due to her bad credit. I won't, but I have a few alternatives she could pursue which doesn't involve me handing her cash. i figure if she thought there would be a hint of me possibly co-signing she'd be extra careful to be nice to me, even if i pissed her off whether right or wrong. i feel like this 'argument' on top of me breaking this news when she gets back may add up to a break up with us. that's what i fear, so in some ways i want to prolong the fear i have. she may not dump me as i told her to borrowing her money before and she kept existing with me just fine and lately she has been paying me money to keep up her house while she's been away.
>>688345328
This. The other guys saying your a clinger are just trolling you
>>688355128
holy fuck dont say that, you fucking beta. op dont say this shit
>>688346160
This. Not even wanting to say hi or hope you're having a good day to your significant other (from her side) is a giant red flag
>>688355925
i told her no to her asking to borrow money before* correction.
>>688355931
No, we aren't. Behavior like this breeds contempt from women. All you've achieved is showing exactly how you can be manipulated.
>>688355925
Ok, si she has to work hard, normal. Now we can help you (and I leave, tired) :)
>>688356110
she only has a problem asking about her schedule not me actually contacting her but since we pissed each other off after me asking about her schedule she hasnt reached back out. she would have as initially we settled the argument and she said shed talk with me the next day but i had to pick up the phone and call her anyways after we settled it and it led her to being pissed off at me
>>688355176
i'll probably wait until tomorrow and text her 'hey, how's your work day? <her friend> and I landscaped your yard, looks better now." then never bring up our argument and let it slide.
>>688355938
OP IS a fucking beta. A real man doesn't feel insecure is his own goddamn relationship.
OP needs to own up to it, so that he can (hopefully) stop being such a bitch.
OP's GF clearly sees through his nonsense, which is why she is distant with him.
>>688344959
She was probably getting fucked when you called her.
>>688356508
traditionally, this will work and should lead to her also not acknowledging the argument and leaning us to communicate more
>>688356558
LOL
>>688344426
She was fucking someone while texting you dude
>>688356513
Yeah this is true. So how would you man up given my exact situation. Text her this >>688356508 or continue to go no contact
the issue is >>688356289
>>688356508
That's ok, send a goofy pic of the yard and never try to pin her down to some ridiculous call schedule again. You'll get over your insecurities if you start working on you and just letting her fit into your life as she sees fit. It'll also turn her attraction up when she sees you loosen the leash.
>>688356806
ok sounds good man. i'll probably do it tomorrow and give her some additional space today.
>>688344426
Sounds like she cut off your nuts already. She's probably banging someone else.
>>688356558
I wasn't gonna tell him...
>>688356763
The only ideas you seem to throw around are ones that avoid your fight and avoid the elephant in the room.
That's the opposite of what you should be doing.
Address it. Call it out. Get it out in the open (calmly).
Let her know that you haven't ignored your own shitty behavior.
>>688350912
But the thing is, any normal human being wouldn't be THAT pissed off if she hasn't talked to you all day and you were simply wondering when you want to speak with her. Thats simply you saying that you care about her and want to speak with her, and she's flat out saying fuck off instead of calmly stating, "I'll let you know when I see my schedule tomorrow hun" or something, tldr; she has no reason to get pissed over that question.
>>688356558
dont break hisheart yet... butt tis true
>>688357326
Unless it's the 87th fucking time they've had to have the same conversation with you.
>>688357326
you're exactly right. >>688357114 :which is why I don't think I need to apologize
>>688344426
If you were my girlfried I'd dump you.
Just give here some fucking space, christ.
You don't need to call her every day.
I imagine the only reason she responded like that is that she's tired of you texting and calling her all the time.
You say you "barely text" her every day, but even just a few texts here and there can be fucking annoying if you're trying to get shit done.
If she works with computers, get an IM app, say hello, and ask if she's free.
If she's not, tell here "alright, come back to me when you are <smiley face>" and drop it.
Don't be an annoying little shit.
>>688356221
Wanting a very small amount of communication on a daily basis isn't clingy bro, unless you're constantly saying "I miss you" or some shit every time.
>>688357326
this
>>688357114
>>688357538
This >>688357493 is why you should apologize. Because you KNOW that this is well far beyond the first time you've done this.
>>688357493
Yeah but by then she should already have made it a habit to take a few minutes out of her day to give him her schedule so she can just call and say hi or goodnight, if she doesn't care enough to do this for him then she's just using him
>>688357326
>When can I call you? I don't know when I'll be available.
That should happen precisely one time, more than that makes the asker an asshole
>>688357493 it is not the first time we had the convo but its so common of a question i think nothing of it when i ask.
if i apologize now (few days after the fact) it may be a little weird. I'd rather call her or some shit ti apologize. but over text i'd rather act like it never happened.
>>688357636
this. i rarely text her.
She doesn't explode if i text her, only if I ask about her schedule.
>>688357866
This is true, although from what I read op said he didn't spam it to her multiple times a day
>>688357908
Could be that she doesn't even want to text you, and she's being quiet about her anger until you ask about the schedule and then explodes. If this is the case either she doesn't care about you or you are being clingy (depends on the whole relationship idk enough to say which).
also by continually doing no contact i feel like it resolves nothing.
she won't contact me first and so all i'm doing is just not talking to her.
i think i'll send a text to break the ice and then try to call her later and apologize then and carry on
Try meeting new and other girls op while shes ignoring you. So you have backup when you break up lol
>>688356508
Lol this bitch has a team of orbiters literally mowing her lawn.
>>688357493
Exactly.
Having to repeat myself is one of the few things that annoys the fuck out of me.
People who I'd otherwise like can go far down the avoid list if they simply had me repeat things more than a few times.
It shows you're either not paying attention, in which case why are you wasting my time, or you're too stupid to remember simple facts.
Either way, you're not someone I want in my life.
>>688358088
you have a point. She is pissed off because she makes such little money, wants to fix her house up and has a terrible outlook on life expecting someone to pay her way out with everything. This leaks from her when we speak and she has a lot of triggers that will trigger that anger/depression and disatification that she has with her own life.
I think she doesn't really love anything right now due to her situation and mindset.
>>688357772
>>688357908
>>688358354
sigh, you're hopeless OP. You just don't get it. Good luck tanking your relationships...
>>688358345
yes she does. several to do all her shit for her
>>688358514
Is your advice to text her and apologize? I'm trying to keep everything straight here.
>>688344426
As bing a guy on the receive end of this same thing from a woman.... you are a smothering needed piece of shit and you need to cut that shit out.
She at least trying to be nice to you about it. Your world should not revolve around her and you should give her the space she needs.
There is nothing here that needs to be compromised. You need to stop being a needy fucking woman.
fuck it, i'll continue to go no contact until at least tomorrow or thursday then text her
>>688344426
Been with my gf 5 years now and we talk every day. I don't think it is clingy. Some days we talk a lot and others we are busy but still manage to find time to at least ask each other how our days went, say i love you, and goodnight. Its pretty serious though as we know we are getting married when we have money.
This chick cant spend 5 minutes asking how your day was? You need to dump her OP she's just not that into you.
>>688344426
>break up
NOW
Obvious infidelity and disinterest
Fix your game
>>688359010
You need to not contact her at all..... let her contact you when she's ready., All will be fine.
Just leave it alone and live your life while she's gone and just be happy when she gets home.
>>688358815
There is totally a middle ground youre ignoring. Dear god OP will get his virginity back by listing to you tards.
>>688358725
Yep.
You're the problem in this situation. What's worse, is you keep letting yourself be in denial about you being the problem.
To make matters worse, you then try to avoid the problem at hand, thus avoiding taking responsibility, and (through inaction) telling your GF nothing will ever change.
No wonder she hasn't texted you and isn't excited to.
>>688358815
Also to add.... since she's out of town and you sound very possesive needy and codependant, she's probably trying to just enjoy this time away from to get a break from your smothering.
I've been the bf in this same situation. Breaks are good. Let her enjoy her break from you. I went out of town a few times on my ex, and i loved the piece and quiet without her up my ass all fucking day. (which is also now why sh'e an EX after 4.5 year of being together)
Nobody i mean nobody is that busy all day that cant answer a simple text or phone call, especially if she/he is your partner. You have nothing to apologize for but that fact you keep bringing it up tells me your pussy whooped. Either get out of the relationship or realize your not her priority. You bang her one more time and all its gonna do is reel you back in for a few more months of the same relationship.
>>688359344
Lol fuck this guy, op even said she was a golddigger so no he's not the problem
>>688359344
Yeah but something as little as "love you babe :)" takes one second to send to the guy and would go a long way. Thats how relationships work anon. You gotta compromise because both parties have feelings whether they are right or wrong. If you try and build a relationship on who is right and who is wrong you are going to have a bad time.
>>688359631
What's weird is we were communicating just fine, until I asked about her schedule. After that, everything went to shit and she stopped contacting me after our argument.
>>688344426
Dude, OP. I know you don't want to hear this, but just break p with her. I had a gf just like this and trust me, it only gets worse, just dump her man.
>>688344426
look, if you can't handle being apart from her, you need to end it and get your shit together.
A girl who wants to spend some of her time alone is like a godsend, man; if I was with a girl like that... well, who am I kidding, if I was with a girl like that we'd probably either be fucking several other people as well or she'd be pretty frequently upset with me.
Anyways, point stands. A girl who gives you time to spend alone is a great thing. Give her a text every day or every other day telling her you care (something small like "hey" is probably more than enough), and let her be.
Clinging or being upset because you don't talk enough will only drive somebody like that away; if you want a person to cling to you more, then you are probably going to have to look for a different woman.
But enjoying time on your own without your lover is the hallmark of a person who has their shit together, so you're just fucking up this relationship atm.
I played the scenario in my mind:
The I contact her version:
>Contact her after a few days of not talking
>Make small talk
>She responds
>Things are "fine" again
>She continues to barely contact me afterwards due to 'work'
>Don't hear much from her until she comes back early next week
I don't contact her version:
>She doesn't contact me period
>Possibly with exeception to get me to pick her up
or
>She doesn't contact me period
>Gets an uber home
Also, want to make it clear she has actually been working/travelling in different countries the last 3 months and we used to talk everyday but kind of tappered off but we continued to talk regardless.
She was talking to me daily here and there up until our last argument where I triggered her asking about her schedule.
>>688360314
Duuuuuude this relationship ended awhile ago stop being so beta. She hasn't dumped you yet because she doesn't know how to and change causes anxiety for some people.
>>688359981
This motherfucker gets it.
>>688359981
True.
Here's the thing. She was communicating with me daily. We didn't talk much as I respected her space but it'd be phone calls/text etc.
I fucked that up when I asked about her schedule when we could call next AFTER she told me we'd talk the following day as she was going to bed then, but I wanted to know a TIME so it pissed her off. and made it worse by telling her how much she pissed me off and she continued saying I knew that pissed her off etc and went to bed.
After that she went from talking to me daily to 0.
Now I don't know if I should contact her first or let her contact me.
As I said earlier she'd text me back if I wrote her right now and all of this would end.
Your advice?
>>688360314
>>688360622
dude, have some self-respect.
If you think that she's out of your league, then she is. Don't think like that.
She's not doing you a favor, she's with you because she wants to.
Stop being a beta and man the fuck up. She should be the one worried about contacting you.
If she isn't, she doesn't want you that much and she can leave.
You're the man, you should wear the pants in the relationship.
If you're okay with her potentially becoming your fuck buddy, don't contact her.
But if that's not what you want, then talk to her about it and tell her that you're not happy with the amount of contact that you both have.
If she refuses to change, then either fuck her casually or leave.
After reading through most of this thread and responding I just realized OP turn this place into a room full of girls trying to give eachother advice on what the guys doing/thinking
>pick related
I should revoke my own man card for contributing to this estrogen filled circle jerk.
I love being with my gf. However even though I check her phone constantly when she's in the bathroom and she is basically never talking to anyone else on the phone besides her mom and dad, I still feel like she's a dirty lying cheating whore sucking 1000 nigger dicks a day.
My first gf cheated on me and this current one has a very similar face and same likes/dislikes as the other, but this one seems to genuinely love me while the first just tolerated me.
Your gf is literally being impregnated by a rhinocerus right now OP. Dump her.
I'm not paranoid or jealous, I'm just rational. Women are not to be trusted. Dump her.
>>688361248
>Women are not to be trusted
Fucking beta
>>688360622
Playing games is always bad.
I'd say asking for a time is usually not helpful in situations like this; it adds stress to a situation that is probably already annoying enough for her.
I'd also say that giving her space is good, so my recommendation is something like a small text every day, still.
Just a "hey" or maybe "hey, I care about you" or "hey, I miss you" should be plenty. According to what you say, she'll reply as if nothing happened. But be generally more distant but also more expressive, if that makes sense. As in, let the words you do say mean a lot, but talk less.
But wait until like two or three days after the fight to do it, and then tell her something like you understand she needed her space.
If you care about her, it'll come out right. Or it usually will, anyways. It's tough to get that sort of thing across in text, but it might do the right thing for this situation.
>>688361248
LOL "I'm not paranoid or jealous" you're beyond insecure from your first relationship dude
>>688360622
don't say a goddamn word to her, you giant nigger faggot
wait till she gets home until you hash it out in person
>>688344426
Oh shit OP, you sound like me. I cannot stand those kind of girls, I can't trust them and it just makes me so angry in the length of it.
I know for sure I'd let her text me first, but it if takes way too long, like over 24 hours, then I'd probably text her and ask what the fuck is going on.
I don't know dude, just do whatever you feel like doing. It's a hard situation, I know what it's like as I've been in it too many times.
>>688361537
I'm not insecure about anything. I am just very untrusting of women who aren't my Mom or sister. Every gf I've had since her has not cheated on me, they just eventually leave me because I'm too, as my last one put it, "afraid to open up and love her". Fucking slut. Bet she's opening up her legs and letting the entire Tampa Bay Packers love her right now in all holes.
>>688361355
>trusting vaginas
You're the fucking beta.
>>688361919
God dam dude I'm not trying to be a dick but you have a MASSIVE case of denial, what you're experiencing is insecurity and an inability to trust. Also a lot of pent up anger against women who aren't your mom and sister
>>688362545
I literally only date women who are of equal or lower attractiveness than me. I am literally out of my gf's league.
I have nothing to be insecure about because she's like a fucking 5 year old attached to the teddy bear that she hugs tight at night.
I still don't trust her. Probably sucked her teddy bear's dick at 5.
>>688361919
Oh, I see you're on the "haha you trust girls"-bandwagon. I guess you've never actually spoken to a girl who likes you.
>>688361565
>>688361733
>>688361429
I'm going to use all the will power I can muster and not text her for as long as I can. I may eventually break and text her anyways which will most likely be within the next few days since she's coming back early next week.
I'll totally ignore the argument. In person or over the phone I'd tell her i am sorry and that it isn't mandatory we speak everyday. just when we can is fine.
but i feel like she may dump me anyway after i disagree to co-sign the loan so i want the 'satisfication' to know i have a 'girlfriend' for the next few days instead of this no contact, which is why i'll break soon.
but i'm going to hold out texting her for another day or two at the very least.
when i do text her i know she'll respond and things will be good again.
>>688362883
t. redditor
>>688345328
fucking THIS. Don't listen to all these highschoolers and neck beard faggots, you're not clingy, you're normal. It sounds like this girl is fading from liking you, I had the same exact type of relationship with a girlfriend of 3 years after she moved away during the last year. She's probably basing it all off what society is telling her to do essentially, which is to not settle down and "experience" things in your 20s. Its the flavor of the day for this generation, and even though its obvious there are still many of us who dont want to follow this philosophy for whatever reason, the trend continues and will keep growing until a new way of life becomes the next trend. It's normal for people in a relationship to communicate a lot, she isn't emotionally connected to you in a stable enough way for it to work for her.
>>688362993
i want to show her i am not needy and can give her space by not contacting her for the next few days. ideally i wouldnt contact her period until she's back but im too weak for that.
>>688345143
>How am I a stage 4 clinger? I barely talk to her while she's been away. I had went 2 days without talking to her prior to our argument because she was with some girlfriends. Now it's been about 3 days since that argument and no contact.
How are you NOT a clinger? FFS I don't even know how long it's been since I've talked to anyone, here you are fucking COUNTING THE DAYS!
You are literally counting them.
FYI, she's getting plugged everywhere she goes.
"Then he fucking called me!" as she turns over handing the join to Chad.
thanks for the laughs OP
>>688362813
>sucked her teddy bear's dick at 5
Can't believe I fell for the bait responses, well played sir
>>688344426
Heed these words of wisdom anon:
All hurt comes from unmet expectations. You expected her to be an emotionally codependent girl who wanted to be in touch frequently, she expected you to be lone wolf alpha male. Unfortunately those expectations are not met. Unless you both can come to terms with your reality, the dissatisfaction will continue to fester in silence until one day it finally boils over.
Unless you can change your expectations for the way she behaves, better end it now and find a girl you actually want to be with, instead of just putting up with the personality just for the pussy.
>>688344426
You sound clingy as fuck.
Fem here, she's probably about to dump you. I would.
She asks you not to text her for one bloody day and you text her that night anyway, and now you're trying to get advice on how to talk to her more.
She obviously wants personal space and for you to live your life as a separate person instead of constantly cramming your existence down her throat.
Maybe you should leave her he fuck alone for an entire day, OP. You sound like a fucking pest.
>>688363133
You guys nailed it. How would you react in my current situation? text her now to get this shit over with or not text her for a while?
Like I said, she isn't against communicating daily, she is against me asking about her schedule.
Basically this is what set it off
>I try to call her
>She text "Baby, I'll call you tomorrow going to bed"
>"Okay when?"
>She gets mega pissed off caused she knows I know she hates this question
>We argue but settle she'll talk to tomorrow
>I'm pissed and let her know
>She lets me know how pissed she is
>She goes to bed
>She stops texting me daily
>No contact from then onward
>>688363162
Why do you feel weak? What love do you have for this girl who is a gold digger and does not love you back? I just recently went through a breakup, honestly I'm pretty upset that I didn't leave my ex girlfriend earlier and not give in to my emotions of wanting to talk to her a few times after the breakup, because logically I had no reason to care for her anymore since she didn't care for me. I know you won't think that way right now since you're filled with emotions but trust me anon, texting her after a few days will do nothing to make you feel better.
>>688363225
This is probably the most intelligent response here.
Listen to this anon.
>>688345143
She had probably finally been enjoying being away from you for a few days and you fucked it up by texting and then following up with annoying calls.
This must be bait, there's no way someone's stupid enough to piss someone off like this.
>>688363225
THIS. Just like cheating comes from an unmet expectation of honesty and loyalty being broken, this guy is smart OP listen to him
>>688363373
Been about 5 days since I spoke to her.
Left her alone 2 days before her trip. I called her for the first time at 11pm the night of the 2nd day of silence with her. She did this >>688363476
Then it's been about 3 days since that night.
I barely talk to her.
>>688344426
Hardy har har
Nice bait faggot, how much you spent on it?
>>688348354
Jesus christ, go live your own life.
>>688351168
This, 100%
>>688362993
if it's been a day or two since the argument, that's really all the time you need.
You really just have to tell her you thought she needed some space, so you gave her some.
Then be succinct but heartfelt when you talk, and you're golden.
I wouldn't say ignore the argument, though; you should really talk about these at some point. It might be best to talk about the arguments you've gotten in when she has some time to talk, so let her know when she gets back (maybe?) that you'd like to talk about them and the issues you two have.
Probably don't use the words "we should talk" or "we need to talk," though, because those are usually signs to prepare for the worst in a relationship.
>>688348354
Yea dude you are literally exactly like me. We're both fucked in the head when it comes to shit like this. It's so fucking hard to stop looking at her facebook/instagram/whatever to see if she's online, but as people are saying, we've just gotta quit doing that somehow.
I wish you luck sorting this relationship out, OP.
>>688351622
You don't 'play' anything. You man up and stop crushing her wth your neediness and genuinely focus on something else.
>>688344426
needy piece of shit
>>688363200
it's easy to count days when there's not many of them. These days you can literally look at your phone.
I just counted the days between the times I texted a chick and today before I went to sleep this morning. It wasn't even that hard, I just looked up the date I last texted her and then went to my calendar in my phone and figured out how much time it had been.
Oh wow king of cling right here guys, I count days.
>>688352746
>this
>>688348354
Look man, you're going through the very early stages of a breakup. Mentally you know its about to be over and you're sad and don't quite want it to end. That's NORMAL, you're a human being with emotions, fuck the other guys saying that you're baiting or clingy as fuck.
OP just realize that stalking her facebook only sets you up for a cycle of "What's she doing, OMG this and not talking to me" "God she never cared" all these negative thoughts that come every single time you stalk her or what she's doing. It doesn't help you one bit to get over the relationship. The best way to recover and move on is literally to put her out of your life and not care about her life, even if she crosses your mind a lot like her name or places you've been just remember it for a minute and then move on to another thought.
>>688363200
>>688345297
>>688350432
>>688363614
Redpill loners detected
Seriously, dont portray your fucked up views on other people like the worthless scum you are. Just because you failed at social interaction doesnt mean he has to too.
Fucking kids these days.
>>688344959
Don't contact her. Let her make the first move. Don't be at the airport. Let her call you. Pick her up with her shit in a box, drop her off at her place, give her the box. Say goodbye. Don't say anything at all, ever, after that point. Find a new girl who's not sucking some random guy's cock while you're just trying to have a relationship.
>>688364227
There is programming shit I want to do. I can do that the next few days, but then the consequences of doing this mean the last time we spoke we had an argument and it'd be 3+ days of us not chatting when she is flying in next week.
I don't know how long this will last of us not talking and I know a single text would end it.
So you're recommending I ignore the fuck out of her and let her contact me first
>>688352746
haha 4chan is such a lonely fucked up place, holy shit
>>688344426
only read the op,though im still confident my answer is accurate
She's fuckin someone else bro
>>688359344
This also.
>>688352660
>>688352746
>>688351168
>>688351860
>>688351797
>>688351786
redpill loner detected
>>688359981
This. OP just isn't ready to be in an adult relationship.
>>688344426
You bought her plane ticket overseas so she could "work", she's going out with her friends and presumably spending money, and has brought up borrowing money from you when she gets back.... waste of time dude, all you can do is call the airline and maybe get a partial refund on her return ticket, leave her there.
>>688364443
redpill is the worst shit. One of my friends calls me a beta because I tell him to do what he wants.
He calls me a beta. For telling him that the hallmark of a person who has their shit together is doing what they want to do foremost, and taking other people into consideration second.
And do you know my rationale?
If they truly care about you, they will support your self-betterment. Just as, if you truly care about them, you will support theirs. That means that, in order to properly care about those you care about, you need to do what you want first and foremost. What everybody else wants comes second because they want your happiness.
That's somehow beta.
That's what trp does to your brain: "do what you want" is beta.
You SHOULD text her, HOWEVER you should confront her in the near future cause honestly you two are clearly VERY different people, and you'd learn more from eventually breaking up with her, but better it be in a controlled manner than an explosive one. Plus if you two DO agree to break up, you might actually learn eachother well enough, if you're still gonna be in touch, and might possibly even get back together when you two know how to satisfy eachother better. Cause now it's clear you two are on totally different pages.
>>688345575
This guy knows his shit, listen to him. I had something similar with a past girl, it was all about "not being clingy" but in the end it comes to it that she doesn't feel the need to keep in touch, and thats creating emotional distance. And emotional distance leads to fucked up things. Again, I had something like this, and its fucked up when you have to THINK about WHEN are you going to call, like its a burden or something. You want to stay in touch but she makes it sound like you're creating some kind of burden for her.
>>688364547
I'm recommending you be succinct but heartfelt, and tell her that you don't want to take up too much of her time, because she's busy.
A quick "hey" is much better than playing games, man, trust me. The games you're playing by not texting aren't fun, and they only ruin the relationship.
Just talk to her less, but be more heartfelt when you do talk. That's the best way to handle this.
How am I the first person to say this?
>Distant as fuck
>Easily annoyed by contact from you
>Hangs out with friends and doesn't text for days
>Making you pay for plane ticket
>Asking to borrow money
This bitch is using you for your money or just doesn't give a shit about you. Cut this cunt loose, or at least tell her to pay for her own shit if she's gonna be such a pain in the ass
>>688344426
Leave her be, pick her up, drop her off say "Bye Felicia" and move the fuck on, cuck.
>>688363476
>knows she hates when you ask her to pre-plan a time for her to call you
>ask her anyway
>calling out of sheer loneliness
>causing a problem in your own relationship because you can't live with yourself for three days
>trying to make it out to be her fault
you don't need a relationship; at all. Maybe with a tv character? They'll always talk to you at an appointed time, OP.
>>688365184
This is pretty good advice. If you do break up, and you do it gently, you could get back together when you two both have your shit together.
Also do your programming shit; it'll help you get your mind off things and shit will be overall better for you when you have interests you're fulfilling instead of lamenting your situation.
>>688365488
This entirely
>>688364486
I was going to read the thread but this guy said pretty much everything that needed to be said
if she's mad you're communicating with her its because she doesn't want to talk to you because she's having fun being away from you and riding the cock carousel
>>688365481
>>688365184 <-- me
>>688359981
I forward what this guy says
threads like this make me so fucking grateful for the relationship i'm in
>>688365481
>>688365637
>>688365660
it's almost like you can tell who's never been in a fulfilling relationship.
>>688365536
Just curious, did you mention programming cause of the potential demographic of /b/? Cause obviously to most people programming isn't what they typically do to take their mind off of things lol
>>688365849
Yyyyep, lol
>>688365283
>>688365320
>>688365536
>>688365683
I'll text her either tonight or tomorrow. Won't apologize for shit, but will make it so we open the line of communication back. From there, I will barely text/talk to her unless she reaches out first and I'll do this for the next 5-6 days until she comes back.
That way I cover all my basis:
1) Open the line of communication with her again
2) Show and not tell that I will give her space.
>>688365767
I wish I weren't in such a fucked up relationship. Maybe one day I won't be in one. OP here btw
>>688365886
No, I'm honestly interested. I'm interested in picking up functional programming and associated math concepts along with it.
>>688365849
Oh good you finally got here
>>688344426
Haha jesus christ, can't you understand that someone who is sleeping will snap at you if you try to bother them?
>Ok, when?
TOMORROW, like she just said. smh fam. Wait until tomorrow to text her again.
>you then call her two more times
Do you not understand what "sleep" is? And what being called does to someone trying to sleep?
>posting a thread on 4chan over such a minor thing
you are OBSESSED. cling cling cling. just go talk with friends or something, live your own life, let her get in touch with you.
>>688366645
I can do that but I thought this >>688366120
would be a good solution. If I follow what you say then I won't hear from her another 6 days until she's back.
>>688365886
nah OP mentioned having programming shit he was interested in (or I assumed it was OP, he's the only one talking about himself in this thread)
>>688366120
Just make it known you care about her, man. It's not about who's hurt, it's about whether or not you care about her. That's really what she's going to be concerned about.
Look just care about her.
>>688344426
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0UbVGyNpw0
>>688367021
Good song
>>688355128
You my friend are since a looooooong time on a relationship :)
OP here,
thanks for the advice.
I'll probably end up doing >>688366120 but try to hold out until thursday or friday.
>>688363225
>>688355128
it almost is okay, but it doesn't even mean well.
This is just emotion-mining, and it's low.
People don't do that if they want to help a person.
You don't do this if you actually care about a person. OP don't say shit like this, it's only going to end your relationship on a sour note.
It wouldn't even help if you meant it.
The "I'm sorry I get nervous and weird when you're out of town" is the only remotely acceptable part of that, and even then there's better ways to address the problem.
The best way, imo, is to say something along the lines of, "I think we have preventable arguments, and I'd like to talk to you about the best way to handle being irritated with each other. Can we talk about this when you have some free time?"
And say that shit AFTER she gets home, and when it seems like there's a lull in her work load.
Probably don't say what I suggested, though, cause it sounds weird. It'd probably only work for me because I sound borderline autistic sometimes and the chicks who are with me know what they're getting into.
>>688369373
She won't be home for the next 7 days. Instead I plan to wait until tomorrow night or thursday and do this:
>>688366120
By saying "Hey, how's it going?" (or ask about how an interview she would have done by then went). She is usually responsive to that and I believe it will accomplish 1). Then from there I'll follow 2) until she's back.
>>688344426
I feel sorry for you, I don't think anyone would like a gf like that, I would continue that conversation, I had communication problems with my gf at first, but when you talk out your needs, if she cares about you she will fulfill your needs
>>688351168
This.
Your insecurities will ruin or have already ruined this relationship.
Your neediness has already taken it's effect on her so most likely comes the disrespecting stage.
And once the contempt comes it all goes down hill.
Even tho you're going to hold on to this relationship as long as possible OP you're going to get extremely hurt.
Listen to my words OP.
When that day happens. Start learning your mistakes. Start learning what you did wrong and confront your insecurities. Only then will you have successful relationships.
>>688371252
I agree (OP here). I'll assess my mistakes postmortem. Is this a fine next step?
>>688366120
I know 1) will occur cause if I send a text she will reply.
>>688371657
No. It's a terrible mistake.
You should break up with her. Don't let her get to that point with you. Be in charge of the situation.
You'll always get her back if you played your cards right throughout this relationship. If that's what you truly desire but in the end you'll learn postmortem or not that she wasn't worth it.
>>688344426
literally just don't pick her up at the airport.
solved.
>>688372265
I know I should breakup with her but she is flying in 7 days and I haven't seen her 3 months (despite being in daily contact). I want to get another bang in man.
So how would you respond given this? I could go without texting her the entire time until she text me (which may be next Tuesday)... while on the other hand I'd hear from her immediately if I did what I linked above and would have lines of communication back with her. Trying to understand and learn
Maybe I misunderstand the issue.. but is it really unreasonable to talk to your girl at least once a day when she is out of town?
I'm not saying you need to call her, but a quick text to check in doesn't seem clingy at all.
I think she's over you dude. I'd start checking yourself out of the relationship.
>>688372865
Pussy should never be your priority in the relationship. You're pussy whipped and a trick.
Two things that will never gain her respect. On top of that your insecurities and neediness.
Sure... get that one last "bang" it's not going to stop you from breaking up with her or setting her straight. You're pussy whipped. You'll do anything for the next chance of getting pussy from her. The worst common beta mistake ever.
If I were you i'll start reading books and getting familiar with the red pill mindset. Things don't happen overnight, it will take months to learn.
>>688372865
Also I don't think she's right for you.
Women do 80% of the contact. Always.
If she's truly in love with you this scenario wouldn't happen.
>>688374032
The issue isn't the amount of contact. It's that I pissed her off asking about her schedule when she already told me she'd talk to me the following day and me knowing her hates that question due to not knowing her schedule.
OP is the most pathetic thing I've ever "seen".
