You go to Walmart.
You can only buy 3 things, and they must freak the cashier the fuck out. Give it your best /b/
MLP dvd
panties
lotion
>>686359723
Rope, pills, gun.
Or
Lube, bananas, camera
Duct tape, lube, fireworks
>>686359898
lel
Adidas track suit
Bottle of Smirnoff
Fuzzy hat
Tovarish ))))
>>686359723
a cake saying i'm sorry i cheated on you with you're daughter.
another cake saying sorry i cheated on you with you're mother.
and another cake saying sorry i fucked the cat,we good???
>>686360970
kek
>>686360970
You should buy a grammar 101 book instead.
As if they actually pay attention to what you're buying?
They're just there to do a job, they're probably spaced out thinking about how much they hate their life at that moment and wondering how long it's been since the sweaty neckbeard in their line has showered.
But yeah my choices are
>Garbage bags
>Hammer
>Duct tape
>barbie doll
>candy
>lube
>Ski mask.
>Airsoft gun with orange tip.
>black spray paint
>>686359898
You might as well go all the way. Walmart has like everything.
MLP dvd
Lube
Childrens panties
>2 half watermelons
>super glue
>>686361746
kek
Hammer
Frozen on dvd
Spermacidal lube
Because no ones posted it yet:
>donuts
>donut holes
>glue
Rifle, whisky, WD-40
>>686361704
This wins
>>686359723
Bourbon
Cigarettes
Cologne
Diapers
When you get to the register, pretend you don't have enough money and put back the diapers.
>>686362050
was waiting for that one
>>686361612
This one is good that would make me think wtf as a cashier
Pregnancy Test
Wire Hanger
Garbage Bag
>>686359723
Hack saw
Ducktape
Barbie Doll
>>686362423
WHy would you buy the other two before knowing the result of the pregnancy test?
dog treats, rope and lube
Dora the explore dvd collection
Cucumber
Condoms
Say "We gonna explora~"
>>686359723
hammer, lube, and a dead baby.
Condom
Needle
Chloroform
A box of .357 rounds.
A package of latex gloves.
A box of Whitman's Chocolates.
>>686362576
Another would be...
Pregnancy testers
Medical masks
Coat hangers.
>>686362621
Yeah ok, like Walmart sells lube
freak the cashier out? easy.
>go to walmart
>find cute cashier
>go back to my van
>wait until she finishes work
>follow her to her car
>grab her and hold knife to her throat
>pull her into my van and tie her up, be sure to gag her
>drive her out to secluded shack
>tie her to a tree
>proceed to rape her
>cut her guts spilling out her intestines while she watches
>cut her head off
>bury it all in shallow grave
>go home and have nice warm shower
This usually freaks them out anon.
>>686362778
Walmart sells lube, walmart sells nearly everything
>>686359723
Gun
Selfie stick
Tape
Mention my webcam at home and give the cashier the domain name and tell them to go to that (streaming) site.
Underwear, vaseline, and a ratcheting strap.
Corn in a can
Corn in a can
Corn in a can
>>686361258
Woah sick burn dude, holy shit you got him
> 10/10 got em
Cake
Rat poison
Piping bag
Pack of mayo
Pack of mayo
A snorkel
Oh this is easy. Condoms, gloves, pliers
Mothers Day card
Condoms
Wrench
back to the future
back to the future 2
back to the future 2
>>686362778
They do
>>686361258
don't listen to them, anon, it needed to be said
>>686359723
Leather Gloves. Duct Tape. Rope.
Here's what would freak me out as a cashier: Young middle eastern male buying:
Nails
Pressure cooker
Prepaid phone
>>686362712
Yeah right like walmart keep ammo in stock?
As soon as it gets unloaded from the truck the vultures show up to buy it all at once.
;_;
Bag of candy
Duct Tape
Camra
>>686360970
Not the guy who posted this but what is this a fucking courtroom? Get fucked
>>686362864
>>686363270
Retards lol
>>686359723
Two single bananas and a hockey mask
If no hockey mask.
Paintballs paintball gun GPS
>>686363331
Only the marked down stuff, there are certain brands that my father refuses to buy because they're a two dollars more per pack to buy.
>>686362230
HAHAH HOLY SHIT yeah I think that takes the cake. No pun intended. Get it? CAKE. HAHA
>>686362864
>>686363270
Not the poster but obviously that sarcasm went over both your heads.
>>686361746
Fucking gold
>>686361746
Fucking shit man lost so hard
>>686363456
Only an autist would think that sarcasm can be inferred from that post.
>>686361746
underated
>>686361805
>>686363460
>686363460
newfaggotry on this board gets worse and worse
Live fish, funnel, KY jelly.
>>686362710
Yup. Selling chloroform at walmart now
>>686359723
>Cactus
>Lube
>Book on how to anal
>>686362787
bag of goldfish
seafood seasoning
George Foreman grill
>>686363329
This answer is too serious.
Also inordinately large quantities of hydrogen peroxide, brake fluid, or pool cleaner.
>>686362520
Saves you a second trip but also you're probably going to use a hanger and a garbage bag at some point.
Harf watamelon
Doughnoot whores
Super rube
Tinned whole chicken
Vaseline
A copy of a motherhood magazine
>>686359723
Pet fish. Coke. Mentos
>>686363331
Every time I see Perfecta .38 or .357 I buy that shit up.
And holy fuck they got 40 rounds of 7.62x39 from Tula for $10.
I've walked out with ~300 rounds many times.
>>686363331
Only the popular stuff. In my area the only thing that flys still is all .22.
>>686363673
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
>Bag of Ice
>Bag of Ice
>Bottle of Anti-Freeze
>>686363624
since when wall mart sales this supossed book?
>>686363740
My Walmart stopped stocking 7.62x39
>>686359723
Bleach.
Ammonia.
Rubbermaid BRUTE Bin.
sliced bread, axe body spray, toilet paper.
>>686359723
A treadmill, a mirror and a head of lettuce
that fat bitch be terrified of all those things.
Donuts, donut holes, and glue.
>>686363673
When you type with your speech impediments
>>686363552
>Yeah ok, like Walmart sells lube
> When next item in the list is DEAD BABY
Are you fucking retarded? You could smell the sarcasm from the ISS.
>>686363739
LMFAO hahaha ok that's fuckin a win and a half right there
>>686363836
I'm sure they sell some sort of porn book.
>>686359723
fishing tackle
lollipops
cat kennel
>>686362295
nice
Frozen turkey
KY jelly
microwave
Knife, glue, lifelike baby doll
>>686363270
>>686362864
how dumb are you guys?
Go in dressed like the man in the picture, including beard.
Get a box for storing ammunition
A magazine that has pictures of goats in it or whatever, then fill up the cart with road flares, go up to the cashier and ask in a thick middle-eastern accent, "this dee-na-meet?"
>>686364045
My walmart sells dead babies too, I don't know why you guys are so upset.
>>686363552
>>686363986
I don't know who is trolling who anymore
>Siracha sauce
>Lube
>Funnel
>>686364169
Whoever fucked up that miscommunication is likey saving face now.
>>686363895
Mine did too. But then I started asking for it on different shifts every few days and bothering them and having different employees look up to see if they had any at the distribution center (which they CAN do regardless of what bs they feed you to get out of doing work). After a few weeks/month it suddenly started appearing on the shelf again.
Once it's in stock secret is once a week buy a box or two. So long as it's selling they'll keep stocking it.
>>686362778
I love how you didn't question the baby.
>>686363740
They usually have good deals on Winchester White Box 9mm JHP, like $12/50rd
I always end up buying one or two any time they have them.
They never have x39 at my walmart, but my LGS just down the road sells Tula for like $7/box most times.
kiddie pool, biggest bag of candy they sell and a set of kitchen knives
told you they did fags
Dress as a time traveler buy a valentines card. Go through the line later buy Christmas card. Go through the line buy the same mothers day card. All this takes is buying a extra card on mothers day and Christmas. If it ever whent through the register it will go through it again. You can make the cashier doubt her sanity by buying out of season cards and talking about how the card isle at this particular store has regular dimensionality failure.
Bon Jovie CD
Onesie Pajamas
Glue
>>686362787
>hey I should only read half of OPs statement and then write a long story about something not even vaguely related
>>686364358
Blood candy tastes the best doesn't it?
>>686364329
Very good you understood the joke on your first try unlike half the other retards here
>>686362398
Thanks man
>>686364436
cuntry*
>>686364423
That's only for delivery, you can't find it in a store where the cashiers actually exist.
>>686359723
tampons, .40 bullets, condoms.
>>686363672
Good point hhahaha
Gas Can
Styrofoam
Map of the City
>>686363089
Woah sick burn dude, holy shit you got him
> 10/10 got em
Cucumber
Microwave
MLP dvd
>>686364436
Sexually-repressed TM, of course.
>>686364423
Lmfao doesn't matter if you"re retarded or trolling, your still retarded
>>686364649
use you're brain moran
rope for noose
paper for suicide note
box set of duck dynasty
>>686364743
It's a meme you dip
JumpStart 3D Virtual World: The Legend of Grizzly McGuffin
dog leash
adult diapers
>>686364743
>moran
>>686362787
I thought this was funny, anon.
>>686364743
>brain
>not brian
2/10 at least you tried
>>686361746
Top of the line kek
>>686362787
Classic!
>>686364960
That's why you're alone
>>686364800
>>686364953
>>686365058
>filename
Fucking Gaiafags go back to summer newfriends.
Halloween candy, rat poison and an abacus
>>686365337
I'm from twitter you fuck
>>686365381
The abacus to count how many kids you dose'd?
>>686365407
fuck off twater
>>686365337
who cares if it's summer fam
you're a faggot all year round
>>686360970
>> i'm sorry i cheated on you with you are daughter
trump voter detected
>>686364743
the brain is the thinking center of the body
Latex gloves, a papaya and multi-purpose rope
>>686361746
fuck, you win
a shovel
the biggest bag of lime they have
duct tape
>>686362778
I love how no one caught the joke...I got you
>>686365571
If the alternative to Trump is Cuckwoman Sachs, Trump it is.
>>686359723
Knife
Hydrogen Peroxide
Sewing Kit
toothpaste
orange juice
>blender
>>686365765
Yeah okay, Like you get people...
>>686365842
i literally made the face in the picture you posted when i read that.
>>686359723
ski mask
knee high socks
wireless keyboard
> Sledgehammer
> MLP coloring book
> Airhorn
>>686364169
they wernt trolling they were just autistic and cant perceive sarcasm
>>686361258
xbox one elite controller
mtn dew
doritos
condoms, pez, rope
>>686365919
>literally
oh, so you were able to bend time and space and become a cartoon version of sonic the hedgehog.
>>686361258
I kek'd pretty hard, his post was pure illiteracy.
Beer lotion kids magazine
>>686366104
>cartoon version of sonic the hedgehog.
As opposed to the live action version?
Kiddie pool, gas and duct tape
>antifreeze
>gatorade
>sippy cup
>>686363089
>>686364624
Woah sick holy dude, you got shit, burn him
Knife
Mask
Fireworks
>>686366347
Pretty good
Like a Walmart cashier even pays attention to what you are buying
>>686363335
top zozzle
>>686364423
epic tabs there buddy
>>686365471
Jups, I'm the calculating type
>>686366347
Nice
manure
a cake with "i'm sorry i shit in your bed" written on it
another cake with "and in your fridge" written on it
>>686359723
Lube
Sqaush
Paint thinner
>>686366592
I like the way you think, anon.
Barbie doll
Benadryl
Duct tape
lube
3 inch pvc pipe
bottle rockets
>Largest bag of plant food in the store
>Space heater
>The book "Power Plant Instrumentation and Control Handbook: A Guide to Thermal Power Plants"
>Get condoms
>Try to check out, pretend to not have enough money
>Go back into the store
>Come back to the same register with plastic wrap and rubber bands
Throw in candy if you really need three items.
>>686364273
>saving face
>anonymous imageboard
The thing is, I actually believe that there are people here who do just that. That makes me sad.
>shotgun
>vodka
>nirvana cd
>Three tires
a strainer, laxatives, and rubber gloves
>>686365407
>He doesn't realize that calling all newfags Gaiafags is also a meme
newfags don't know how far the memeception goes
>A frog
>A unicycle
>A card that reads "o shit whaddup"
>>686366831
Your logic is flawed because the condons would cost less you faggot
>>686366819
Bleach, amonia and straws
>>686366865
2soon anomalous
>>686359723
rope
little kids book
little kids movie
>>686359723
Fleet Child size disposable enema.
A can of Ether starter spray.
A roll of duct tape.
>>686362787
you didn't specify what you bought, that's the most important part
>a pteranodon
>a stone
>a slush ice maker
Sexy underwear that is roughly her size (check with her to make sure, you can make a flimsy excuse about her being the same size as your wife)
Duct Tape
Hammer
spray paint, 3 colours
>can I have a bag with that?
3x 8oz Robitussin
dufflebag, bag of concrete, cleaver
>>686359723
.45 acp
dog food
condoms
machete, trash bag, and disinfectant.
>>686363331
Nah son, I just went today and they had plenty of ammo to go around. I bought some 9mm
cement
female condoms
greek yogurt
>A glass
>Windshield washer fluid
>Rubbing alcohol
>>686359723
2 boxes of the smallest condoms and 1 box of magnum condoms
>>686359723
butter
I can't believe its not butter its better
spoon
>>686363552
Autists can't figure out sarcasm, fag.
t. Aspie
>>686359723
Tarp, Duct tape, Astroglide
Ask her when she gets off work, while sporting a huge erection. Unless you're OP, then ask her if she likes MLP and traps.
>>686359723
>linkin park single
>linkin park single
>linkin park single
"I really like the song"
A funnel
Extra Strength Laxative
Dog cage
childrens panties
Wrench
The Game
>>686360015
they don't sell guns at walmart.
A long baguette
A knife
Sticky tape
Antifreeze
Blender
Assorted fruits
Donuts, donut holes, glue.
>>686368577
Not true
>>686368577
Your in the wrong state then
>>686368639
I like this one.
the largest bra I can find
2 balloons
>>686368577
>This guy lives in a commie state
>>686367074
wow the 12 year olds are up late tonight.
>>686361258
I thought the bad grammar is what made the cakes funny...
>>686368577
They sell hunting rifles.
power drill
corn on the cob
ky jelly
>>686368577
The fuck they don't! I don't think you've ever really been to one.
dog treats
lube
choke chain
>>686368577
They do
>1 wire hanger
>box of morning after pills
>carton of cigarettes
Sleeping pills
Condoms
Hannah montanna VHS
>VHS is boy for effect
>>686368577
They also sell lube.
>>686359723
Pressure cooker
box of nails
burner phone
>>686362710
A jet pack
dynamite
ergot
Gun, kid's training bicycle, how to hide from the police for dummies
>>686368925
this wins
Clothes Iron
Dogfood, tinned
Dehumidifier
Pikachu amiibo
Diapers
Lotion
>>686365636
No that is the penis
>>686363331
that ammo irrational exuberance died down a while ago.
>>686359723
I used to work at Tesco (a UK supermarket) I once a customer who bought a cucumber, marigolds (rubber gloves) and vaseline. Seriously.
>>686359723
Milk bread eggs
>>686368577
>implying there is anywhere in America you can't buy a gun
codeine, sprite, jolly ranchers ?
no challenge.
>>686369431
Seriously, I got my remington 780 from Toys-R-Us last year.
>Bleach
>Duct Tape
>Knife
Find a qt cashier, and casually ask when she gets off of work.
toothpaste
orange juice
blender
so many newfags
>>686368159
that's what people usually buy at walmart...
>>686364427
How does a fucking time traveler dress?
Doughnut holes
Doughnuts
Glue
>>686369507
What fucking store can you get REAL codine at?
>>686369748
chrome
ranch
spaghetti
sauce
tell her I already got the meat.
Rat poison
Mac n Cheese
Pic related
>>686363269
Bravo
Crisco
Sausage
Eggs
>>686359723
Duct tape, baseball bat and a condom.
>>686369748
they don't
>>686362787
"Usually"
>>686370226
Some women like to be raped.
>>686359723
x3 Pseudoephedrine
I win.
>>686362096
That's my usual grocery list
Machete, assault rifle (they sell them at my local Wal Mart), bullet proof vest.w while dressed in a trenchcoat with long ungroomed facial hair and long hair.
>>686370320
Pretty sure none of them like to be eviscerated
I'm fucking banned from Walmart for life so this might be a problem.
>>686370487
>pretty sure
exactly
>>686370468
Great job making yourself sound like a fucking moron
>>686370560
Shouldn't have fucked your grandma in the freezer aisle
>>686370468
"Assault rifle"???
>>686370560
They have your picture on file? Lol. Just go anyways.
>>686370653
Ditto.
>wheelbarrow
>concrete
>enema kit
>ps4
>xbox one controller
>mario kart 8
>>686370736
assault rifle
noun
a lightweight rifle developed from the sub-machine gun, which may be set to fire automatically or semi-automatically.
Please learn basic English before posting on 4chan.
Bread
Plastic spoons
Soccer ball
Then tell the cashier your going to kill her fat ass with these items as soon as she gets off work
Nickelback CD
50' Cent CD
Limp Bizkit 3 Dollar Bill Yall' CD
> when its rung up insist on only paying 3.45$
>>686370877
LOL
Condoms
Disney stickers
Bible
>>686370877
You son of a bitch
>>686359723
axe, large trashbags, gallons of lube
>>686370910
Please learn not to be a faggot before posting on 4chan.
Mason jars, sex lube, first aid kit
>>686369831
dont be
black
>>686370932
Not funny kill yourself and end your life right now
>>686370765
Naw, I used to work there so the managers know me.
>>686360970
not even funny go back to fucking reddit
>>686370932
heh
>>686371156
Please tell the story. Oh god I want to hear it.
>>686359723
I'll do it with two
>pregnancy test
>coat hanger
>>686370713
If the old bitch hadn't started screaming it wouldn't have been a problem.
Lollipop
Charles Manson Documentary
Donald Trump's book
>>686359723
>child's car seat
>80 lb. weight
> chain
>>686371129
Ditto.
