Ask a p-psychologist anything!
I'm h-here for you, Anonymous!
a bump for you anon
>>686115655
N-nice dubs <4
>>686115420
Good morning Alice~ How are you?
These captchas.. "select all that show a storefront" The entire thing is a fucking storefront, captcha. You animal!
>>686115819
Good morning! Sleepy.
Oh god. Captcha.
Morning Alex. How are you today?
>>686115969
M-my name is Alice not Alex.
Hi! how I can eliminate my excess pride?
How can I make random chicks suck my cock?
>>686116054
Mindfulness is the common way to treat something like this; keep in mind when you are being prideful and actively work to counter it.
Are you born gay? Or is it a parafilia?
I am always freaking myself out about my future, thinking of how I will be when someone super close passes to me, I can't stop myself from throwing myself into an existential crisis. I get this weird feeling when I think about how scared, alone and sad people that die alone. Too be that scared, that complete dreadful timmy-down-in-the-well, to have that consume you makes me absolutely horrendous
>>686116148
You can't, and shouldn't; whether or not someone has sex with you is their choice.
>>686116170
It highly correlates with genetics, but even higher correlations are found with neonatal hormones.
>>686115420
I'm in a long distance relationship, I met her online. I know she's a girl, she's said 4-7 words, showed nudes and talks of her personal life a lot. But she can't talk to me, she just can't, what do you suggest?
>>686116025
Alice, please. The details aren't important.
>>686115420
I have a sexual fetish that revolves around the fantasy of me shrinking to the size of about 5 inches tall. A girl will find me, often after almost accidentally stepping on me, then she usually decides to keep me. After establishing a rapport with each other, she begins to enjoy the control and power she holds over me and she starts overtly flirting with me. She teases me/intimidates me with her feet and ass. Sometimes she makes me paint elaborate custom designs with nail polish on her toenails. She thinks it's "cute" having a little man for a tiny boyfriend/pet. Eventually, she decides to start inserting me into her pussy up to my neck and masturbates with me. This becomes an addicting ritual for her and I'm nearly drowned and/or crushed by her orgasms at least once a day.
What's wrong with me?
>>686115420
I'M BLEEDING FROM MY BUTT. THIS DISTURBS ME.
>>686115867
"Create a picture perfect representation of the Mona Lisa"
>only has MS Toolbar
OKAY
How did you sleep?
>>686116186
That sounds like intrusive thoughts; you should seek a therapist.
>>686116274
I suggest asking her to get on web cam.
>>686116316
Go to a doctor, post haste.
>>686116304
Nothing, you have a weird fetish.
>>686116350
Like shit. Kept waking up. Why do I always wake up at 6AM?
>>686116304
lol there's certainly something wrong with you
I didn't knew that you have yer own board in 8ch and i saw a thread called Blood-chan appreciation thread and has 500 replies.
>>686115420
what kind of mental disorder do you have that makes you write in a s-stutter?
http://anekihou.se/chat/
>>686116304
Anon is this you?
>>686113646
>>686116438
No there isn't; he just has a fetish. They are formed basically at random.
Being abnormal doesn't make something wrong with you.
>>686116455
I don't have my own board; I don't go to 8ch
>>686116459
Kawaii
>>686115420
*While i was examining again the "Alice lied thingy" i've stumbled upon a screenshot with this name on it, this person was called Eva if i am not wrong, who is she/he?*
>>686116545
go to 8ch and type /aneki/
>>686116617
Eva was someone who lied about pretty much everything, from being female to committing suicide. I'd rather not discuss things from 2011 though; it's been five years. I don't even know those people anymore.
>>686116739
Yeah, that board was made to attack me; it's not mine.
>>686116455
Whoa, this anon isn't kidding. And the whole place is filled with tripfags.
>>686116418
I feel like a woman with all this butt blood. but seriously, how long do i have? (2 weeks ongoing)
Am i a chatbot? How do i know for sure?
>>686116739
Nobody has posted there in months, anon.
>>686115420
Hi Alice, I'm Alex. My favorite activity is ultraviolence with my droogs. Is this bad?
>>686116418
That keeps happening to me too! It's fucking TERRIBLE. Sleep paralysis too, had another episode last nice.
I think my internal clock is fucking because it's really bright where I live
>>686116878
*blinks* I don't know, I'm not an MD.
>>686116867
Yeah, again, not my place at all.
>>686116912
Yes.
>>686116949
Maybe you need black out curtains?
How do you stop projecting your thoughts and feelings about everything in the future. And start living in the present?
I had no childhood (computer, books and general culture became my main incentive since 3yo)
Now I consider myself a normal person, after a long period of social-learning and taking the introspection path. The problem is i still have some anxiety, and i see social interactions as a simple conflict of interests.
Will I become a 100% normal person some day?
Didn't Eva and Alice date for a year or something?
>>686116505
hehe yes, you found me
>>686116831
*Sure thing, if you do not wish to talk about it then i won't push this conversation any further.*
>>686116994
Definitely something I'm looking into but I've only got an apartment so I don't know how installation would work sadly.
I love my apartment but I wish I could paint the walls and stuff :/
>>686117002
Generally, mindfulness is a good tool, but if it is seriously intrusive to your day to day, go to a doctor.
>>686117025
...why would you want to be a 100% normal person? Everyone is in a standard deviation Anonymous; just focus on being you.
...also, that sounds like a childhood to me. Not sure what you mean.
>>686117111
Thank you. It's just not relevant anymore; I haven't bothered to even think of that person in years.
>>686117163
Gotta look for a condo. However, they have black out curtains that attach to blind and stuff I think. A bit ghetto, but workable.
>>686115420
In general, do you think that religion is psychologically healthy or not?
>>686116558
is Kawaii some sort of Autism?
Where is Ikaros.
>>686117289
In general, I think lying to yourself is unhealthy, yes.
>>686117374
Stop asking. Or at least spell her name right.
>>686115420
my black bf got me this ring should i marry him?
>>686117426
That's cubic zirconium; go make him buy a real rock.
>>686117404
How is it spelled?
>>686117219
Yeah, I've been looking around the area. I'm not totally adverse to just repairing the holes and just repainting the walls, just apprehensive
>>686116831
Hmmmm...... this is interesting going to read all the threads that was a dead board anyways.
>>686116911
Yeah cuz they already moved to /animu/.
>>686117501
Ikarous. Also, don't ask for that person here. They ain't here and hopefully won't be any longer.
>>686117569
Yeah, you want your security deposit back.
>>686117404
So you're an atheist?
Did you happen to catch my Albuquerque NM rally last night, Alice? It was a heck of a ride that I can tell you.
>>686117639
Fair enough. Where is she now?
>>686117501
It's spelled "w-a-s-t-e o- f o-x-y-g-e-n"
>>686117659
Love the rallies, Darnell. You've got my vote for prime minister.
>>686117650
I'm a computationalist and mathematician.
>>686117659
Nope.jpg
>>686117404
>Religious beliefs = lying to yourself
Can down Reddit.
>>686117219
*Anyway, if you are interested into proving to the skeptics you're saying the truth about your gender you could try to point it out with the digit ratio theory, which does not require facial pictures or even worse......*
>>686117764
:stop trollin':
>>686117760
I don't know and I don't care. It isn't my business.
Given she is spreading false rumors about me, I couldn't care less.
>>686117828
*waves* <4
>>686117858
Yeah, I did that. Didn't work. Also, that's a probabilistic proof; anyone could simply say I'm one of the many exceptions to the norm.
>>686117958
I am on your side not hers. I just want to meet this person.
>>686117501
Oh god that picture, it brings back so many fucking memories, that person is probably dead now.*
>>686117639
This is very true! I love it so much though. Honestly thinking about just repainting the walls after my lease is up. It is too clean in there, the walls are a LITTLE too white haha
oh my god it did the captcha thing
>>686117766
Over the wall you go.
>>686117799
You're missing out, young American Trump supporter.
>>686118049
As I said, I have no way to contact them.
tips on low anxiety
Alice are u a real shrink?
I don't believe we have free will. As a young psychologist who's read more literature than I, what do you think?
>>686116949
Not Alice, but I had a similar issue for a little while. I never figured it out, but I would just constantly tell myself that I was just still asleep, and not to worry about it. I would just lay there, not able to move, and I would eventually fall back asleep for real. It happened for shorter and shorter periods of time, and at some point, it has stopped altogether. Biggest thing is to stay calm, and try to go back to sleep.
>>686115420
I find myself lacking motivation, doctor. Any tips?
>>686118075
/b/est thread ever.
>>686118162
I recall you talking to her via e-mail.
>>686118161
Darren, I was on the other side of the wall to begin with. But I will do my best to adapt to your Ameriland values.
r u there doc?
>>686117958
*Indeed, that's the main issue, it does not prove with certainty someone's true gender. Let them believe what they want then.*
>>686118075
*And i forgot to add an asterisk to the beginning of the sentence, neat.*
>>686115420
thanks for this, I remember you made a thread a while ago aswell.
>>686118161
Yeah, that's not me.
>>686118210
No, because that's not a thing.
>>686118198
Try boxed breathing; google it.
>>686118213
As a computationalist, it's pretty obvious that, given any non-deterministic machine can be simulated directly by a deterministic one, that even non-determinism does not lead to any true form of free will.
Due to the deep connection between computations and math, this implies free will isn't real in any possible universe (without true real values that can be manipulated for computation, rather than merely computable reals).
>>686118272
Start a small project, work your way up from no motivation to some motivation by slowly completing pieces of it, easiest first.
>>686118300
No, that wasn't me; I talked to her via steam.
>>686118434
Hi!
>>686118486
No amount of proof will ever be enough.
>>686117163
Ask your apartment manager. They might be willing to let you paint some walls with certain limitations. (For example, some places do not want to you use black, since it takes too many coats to get back to white.)
Also, check with your apartment people. They might be willing to have their maintenance guy hang curtains, since it is cheaper for them to pay their guy to do it right, then have to fix the wall from all the renters who do it wrong...
>>686118220
Thanks for the advice! I will keep that in mind when it happens again.
>>686118300
*Except for the fact that as i said she's probably dead by now, another person's life ruined by the Internet.*
>>686118561
Perfect. Link Steam.
>>686118697
She'll be back. No one ever leaves the internet.
>>686115420
You psycho fags are useless
Have the pills made my situation worse?
>>686115420
interesting.
>>686118561
I have issues Alice, I am high risk to an hero, i fear for my future, im on the edge.
But i have trust issues and dislike humans.
All psychologists are in it for money.
They hold the cures hostage.
They pretend to care for money. How can i ever be open to help if i hate everyone?
Why do you do this, why do u care?
I will also rephrase, are u a real pschologist?
>>686118806
Elaine has helped a lot of people with their problems. Just ask Alice, she comes to every one of her threads.
Who wants a small loan of a million dollars? You don't even have to pay me back.
I'm worth 10 billion dollars! A million dollars is peanuts to me.
Peanuts!
>>686116025
>M-my name is Andy not Alex.
>>686118800
She blocked me, so I don't have it.
>>686118806
Okay. How does that make you feel?
>>686118876
I can't tell that without more information.
>>686118910
...what? Most psychologists make nearly nothing and have trouble paying back their student loans. Almost no one goes into it for the money.
Maybe psychiatrists do, I don't know. But not psychologists.
Also we don't....have....cures....so. Okay.
>>686119011
Alice
>>686118911
Who is Elaine?
>>686119054
Elaine is the OP, Alex.
>>686118800
*If she knows what's good for her, which is very unlikely if we consider the diet she took to achieve "Beauty", picture related, then she'll avoid returning to this place.*
>>686118965
A million is like a person with 10000$ giving away one dollar for no reason.
>>686118561
oh nd overthinking
>>686119054
Ok, sorry i bothered you Alice.
My problem is that I do the same shit all the time knowing that its doing me no good.
>Wake up feeling like shit
>Play vidya to feel better
>End up playing and doing nothing useful all day
>Go to sleep at 3-4am feeling anxious and dissapointed of myself
How do I break this fucking cycle
>>686119115
Okay, ignoring you now.
>>686119121
Nominal dollars don't work quite like that.
Alright guys, gotta go to work.
Email me at [email protected] if you need help or I didn't get to you.
See you again at 8PM EST
With love,
Alice
>>686116878
Had this problem before, had polyps.
Get checked, son.
>>686119266
Fuck you
>>686119194
*What do you need her Steam account for?*
http://alicelied.blogspot.com/
Hey Alice did you knew Luka (the owner of /aneki/ board ) and Manaka (the one who hates you and active on that board) ?
>>686119266
>With love,
>Adam
These threads are shit
>>686119606
Her name is Andrea
>>686119606
>Adam's apple
>>686119690
SHIT
>>686119254
Sounds like you might meet criteria for gaming addiction. You'll get caught in a loop where you'll feel worse and worse about yourself. You have to separate yourself from gaming. Other healthy coping skills can help like exercising or having supportive people to talk with.
>>686119750
>His name is Andrew.
>>686119597
Why do people hate Alice so much?
>>686115420
and the ugly guys losers has to hold on to me so dont look lame cause fat and ugly and too ugly to hurt the popular people n they smell like shit and is ugly
>>686119881
Because she keeps claiming credit for Elaine's threads, and frankly she's a huge cunt to Alex, who just comes here for the company.
>>686115420
and the ugly guys losers has to hold on to me so dont look lame cause fat and ugly and too ugly to hurt the popular people n they smell like shit and is ugly and the ugly guys smel llike dog poop and is ugh tr r
As a dude I have not told anyone this but I got raped by a childhood "friend" about a year ago and since then I have been having nightmares about him coming into my house and cumming on everything I own.
How do I proceed?
>>686115420
How do i deal with existential depression?
My existential depression is mainly centered around the lack of meaning in life. I also find it really difficult to accept that so many people in western society idolize fake celebrities and businesses that exploit their workers (for example, all the hype over Steve Jobs, especially before he died).
>>686119945
>Elaine's
>Alex
Who?
>>686120029
Ask your parents m8 if not buy a stun gun and taze him then call a police.
>>686119881
I think the reason is she replaced the old alice poster in 2007 and oldfags started to hated her.
>>686120296
Elaine is the OP, Alex is one of the regulars. Alice sometimes confuses herself with them, and has even convinced herself she is Alice when she is actually Andrew. It's very confusing and sometimes I forget the details and have to make up new ones to replace them.
>>686119875
Thx but I dont know what to do besides playing videogames,and I feel kind bad when I dont play.
>>686115420
Will I ever be happy? Will I ever stop thinking about her?
>>686120449
WHERE DOES ANTON FIT IN???
>>686115420
Why does my psychologist deny that a hedonistic life style, or just sex in general, could make me happy? Why do they assume the course to happiness is objectively true for everyone? Isn't it possible that a life of debaucherous indulgence can lead to happiness certain individuals?
>>686120602
Oh shit, I knew I'd forgotten somebody. Uhh...
Okay, this can still work but you have to be Anton.
>>686115420
Ok, so... what are you suppose to do to help me?
>>686120756
Elaine's already gone. Sorry, bro. But normally she'll give you a line or two of advice.
Alice, when will you do a cooking thread to feed the hungry anons
>>686120722
You forgot Jeremy
also check'd
>>686120919
I'm Jeremy.
>>686120959
okay Jeffery
where this guys came from
>>686115420
WIll have to take exams in 2 weeks. 3 out of 4 almost 100 % sure I will get atleast 70 %. Last one not sure if I will even pass. Strangely enough I dont feel any stress at all. Whats wrong with me? I cant even study because I just dont care
>>686121002
Look, there are 47 people in this thread and I am at most 3 of them: Jeremy, Jeffrey and Horatio. But I am NOT Tina.
Alice, what is your email?
I'm sure if Alice watch any of my rallies she'll be on the Trump train too.
THAT I CAN TELL YOU
>>686121137
That's cuz I'M Tina. And Jermaine. But I have no idea where Solacio is.
>>686121143
read the thread shitburger
>>686121218
>no idea where Solacio is
Solacio here.
Anyone see Maria? Or Ted?
Why is marriage such a grind?
What about Julio and Francis?
>>686121393
Julio evolved into Francis. It's understandable given Francis fell into that time portal and we had both of them for a while but we're back to just Francis.
Hello anons from /animu/.....
>>686121363
Ted was here earlier. Maria died I think.
>>686121393
what >>686121487 said
>>686121487
I always got Francis confused with Frenchie, wonder what that cunt is doing these days.
>>686115420
Dickfarming is okay right?
Saffe amm i saffe aaare you saafe? The weight of the sea.....it's THE WEIGHT OF THE SEAAAAAA....DROWNNNNN!
>>686121147
I hope he wins so everyone starts killing whites ;) asians dont like trump, blacks dont like trump, latinos, native americans, asian indians, russians.
>>686117659
>>686118965
>>686121147
White people are voting for there own doom. Trump wins there's going to be a lot of dead white people on the ground under the minority fist.
>>686115420
Why are you pretending to have an online stutter?
Does this not show your own insecurities and how you're trying to fit in but sounding like a wounded deer in the process?
I think you should take a seat and start talking about your problems with a professional.
Tl;Dr I am a psychologist and feel that you need to talk to somebody soon.
My parents have always tried to spoil me, telling me all the things i wanted to hear, giving me everything i wished for, convinced that it will do good, I didn`t let it get to me tho. Now im living on my own and feel kind of weird, what can I do to start being independant?
Tell me about addiction
>>686123081
W-what would you like to kn-know?
I had a dream about fucking this one girl. I've been in love with her since. I've had little feelings for her before the dream but after it was just all out. I think about her so much now that I've stopped noticing how much she pops into my mind. This was over a year ago.
>>686115420
I have reoccurring dreams where I'll be near someone i hate and when I fight them, my punches land softly, no matter how angry i get or how hard i throw them, and it's infuriating. Halp.
Why can't I stop shitposting?
Why do you type "P-psychologist"? PUH-psychologist?
And when will you show proof of your profession?
>>686115420
Why am I a huge cuck?
I wish I was memeing.
>>686123755
She's already been proven wrong.
But people will keep asking questions because they believe that she is real.
>>686123900
Nice dubs, your dubs replied to my dubs. And I figured, this board is filled with too many lonely males
>>686123755
>>686123900
>>686124033
Magnificent.
>>686123822
A feeling of personal inadequacy, and a deep seated desire to be some part of a sexual exchange you deem "good"
Git gud, learn how to sex.
>>686124169
Thank You
I really want to get laid but women are bitches.
U-Um is it normal that I fantasize wincest?
>>686115420
Why do I fap to touhou so much
>>686115420
I have autism and bipolar. Realistically, what are my chances of living independently? I really don't want to end up being a /r9k/ neet but every time I try to plan for moving out after school all the details overwhelm me.
>>686125162
Same and I'm not who you think I am
>>686124807
This
The fuck is this thread
>>686127338
Elaine comes in to help anons solve their problems by offering her advice.
>>686127338
some psychologist that like amine too much
>>686127599
The same Elaine from the show "Seinfeld"?
>>686128057
Nah, just an Alice RPfag
>>686127338
adachi-chan?
