ITT: We pretend we all work in the same target
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: We pretend we all work in the same target
Guys i don't feel well today. Can someone cover my shift?
Do you need to borrow my red shirt?
haha wow sure is crazy we all work at this Target am I right haha
you are all fired
can we get a cleanup on isle 7 some faggot baby just puked everywhere
Any plans after work?
Can't wait for the company baseball game against Walmart. We'll get them this year.
Who wants to go out back and get high
>>685302116
SECURITY WE'VE GOT A SITUATION. Someones on to the plan. Make sure they don't infect the rest of the facility.
>tfw I work in the distribution center as a forklift driver
How does it feel knowing I make damn near 3 times what you storeside minimum wage cucks are making?
Who's going to burn with me and push some carts around in the parking lot?
2 trannys are beating each other in the faggot bathroom call the police!!!
Hey who left a bag of chips out in the break room? Shit's delicious
No mam, we can't force him out of the women's bathroom. If he identifies as a woman, he can.
Don't get mad at me because your daughter is a human cockscickle now.
Nigger has entered, be aware of a robbery.
>>685301867
Am I justified to scream "gas the trannys" over the intercom, boss?
I'm so glad black people don't shop here
>>685302387
I think we're on the same page
>>685302466
fuck it, i dont need this job anyway
>>685302517
lets all follow him around and watch him steal
-shoots up target-
Too bad we live in Canada, eh boys? Someone throw more trash into the garbage fire.
>>685302387
>>685302599
I'll be smoking meth in the car if anyone wants to join me.
I have a lot of shelves to stock.
Who wants to burn one then go and play some PS4 in the electronics section?
Who's down to have an orgy in the break room ?
>>685302424
How does it feel knowing most of us in the stores are in school while you're stuck being a warehouse worker?
Do we get free popcorn benefits?
>>685301867
We are all out of a job guys - Canadians
>>685301867
Hey man, Rodger says you need to go clean up that vomit in the toy isle.
>>685303264
do it yourself im playing pacman
>>685301867
Price check for some pussy cream
>>685302185
Shut up Jeff, go clean something.
>>685301867
Hey guys! I'm here for orientation.
>>685302847
I'm down.
>>685302387
I got the goods
>>685301867
Hey guys check out my new ak
>>685303999
Ps triple
>>685301867
Hey, we decided to get jobs here. What do You do?
>>685302236
probably kill myself
you?
>>685301867
Hey guys, just dropped in....
Pennying out some PS4's and Xbox One's so I can made a killing outside of work.
Fuck sake. Fat Larry has got his arms stuck in the drinks machine again. Someone fetch the lube.
>>685302424
you make a whole 20 bucks an hour? must be nice to be one of the 1%...
>>685301943
No Toby we can't cover your goddamn shit. This is the fourth time this month. Now go work your damn register.
>>685302056
Nope bought a new one at half price here at target. Put it on in the ladies room also.
>>685302204
Well he wouldn't have puked if I hadn't gone balls deep. Stupid baby and it's stupid gag reflexes.
>>685302342
We should have gotten them last year but o no u thought bunting with bases loaded was a good idea.
The new Wii-U's just came in today! Hey, what's this mud-ball looking thing?...
>>685304539
Your the fucking reason we get scanned on the way out Todd.
>>685305046
dammit josh what have i told you about molesting the customers!
>>685304259
Who's the other fag with Manson?
>>685305407
Not on camera yea yea yea.
>>685302424
Huh. And as the VP of Logistics and Operations, you're fired, fuckface.
Uhh... guys... I accidentaly set fire to the garden maintenance section. Who knew that garden hoses and rakes were so flammable.
>>685305725
I'm getting real fed up with us hiring these charity case retards. If you can't tie your own shoes you can't work here. Now I'm going to go pee with that 12 yr old girl since I feel like a woman now.
>>685305725
i...hate...all of you...
>>685305925
thats fine, just dont touch her on camera
>>685305925
>>685305981
Wasn't my fault guys, a trolley knocked into the new shipments of molotov cocktails and it all went down hill from there
>>685305981
Don't you have a Tumblr blog to update FATricia
>>685302492
Fuck that I'm getting the camera
>>685306177
WHEN THE FUCK DID WE ORDER MOLOTOV COCKTAILS???
>>685306371
>>>685306177
>WHY THE FUCK DID WE ORDER MOLOTOV COCKTAILS???
>>685306371
I think Creepy Carl was ordering the new stock for the store
Fap fap fap
>>685306274
maybe when im on break but right now i have to babysit high, child molesting, shoplifting, retards
>>685306076
Does my cell phone count boss?
>>685306535
Whatever with the way those kids are dressed they are just asking for it.
>>685306562
as long as you aren't caught, no
Anyone want to play tag?
>>685306424
we set up shop in the middle east they WERE for our protection but not they've costed us half the store..
>>685306773
fuck it, im in
>>685301867
>I just work in the back ma'am
>>685306646
HE WAS TWO AND A HALF YEARS OLD JOHN!
>>685301867
Fuck OP thanks for reminding me I actually do work in the backroom at a Target today
>>685306916
Hey, we don't judge people here okay. We do that in the bathroom.
Watch out, theres a strange man doing illegal trade of pepe products in the mens section. Someone call security.
guys a priest just walked in holding a bible yelling something about bathrooms... wtf do i do?
>>685306916
Mmmmm old enough to sing with mickey then old enough to suck the dickey.
>>685307254
how much does he want?
Uh... I have a delivery of Canadian memorabilia, for Mr Sulla.. Sullivan
>>685307512
Take him to the shitter and confess your sins.
>>685307542
...can i go work at walmart now?
>>685307660
Fuck of Walmartfag
>>685307638
HOLY SHIT THAT BIBLE WAS A GUN HOLSTER RUN!!!
>>685307660
They only fuck foreign children there. We don't discriminate here.
>>685307764
We are in Texas bitch fire back.
>>685307824
CAN'T I SOLD THE GUNS FOR METH! want some?
>>685307764
Don't worry guys, I got it
who wants to do lsd in the toy aisle with me
>>685307921
We are in Texas. I have my own jack ass. No worries I brought my AR+3476 I'll get him and the people around him just in case.
Tfw went from working 40 hours a week doing truck unloading for $9 an hour at Walmart to 25ish hours of early morning merchandise flow (Stocking) for $11 an hour at Target
I don't care that I'm making less money it's such an easier fucking job and the people at my Target are actually nice, no ones screaming at each other and shit.
>>685308073
Piss off furry fag.
>>685307972
Sure but we gotta watch out for John the pedo.
Guys, the 12 o'clock pulls are over 3 hours long, I need help back here
>>685302204
>>685303264
>cleanup on isle 7
>the toy isle
And this is why you work at Target: there's a big difference between "isle" and "aisle"
Got fired from Target while being security for actually catching people stealing. Majority of the time when the boss was around he would let people steal and walk out. He would only get people if the main manager was catching on.
>>685307972
fuck it, i dont need this job anyway
>>685308171
I'm gonna piss on your groceries m8
>>685308248
Isn't that why we hired Juan? Let the bean bag do it.
>>685301867
*Comes in the fornt door*
You guys got any applications?
>>685308311
I don't buy groceries here. Shits to high I go to Walmart.
guys im a woman now can i take a little girl into the rest room?
>>685308379
depends, do you take it in the ass?
>>685302513
Underrated
>>685308426
Right this way ma'am
Let's count how many niggers came in. There's wan.
>>685308426
You don't take them in there you just wait in the stall for them to come in. Those are the rules here at target.
Which one of you assholes summoned Satan in the Christmas Isle
>>685308515
Sometimes..
Trump I'd a great guy y'know, maybe we should rename this place "Trumpet" am I right guys? Ehh? Eeehh?
Oh shit, the popular girls are in the break room, guess I'll just walk around the mall until my break's over
We need to restock the Trojans, Ronnie
can we actually have more than 2 fucking lanes open for checkout?
>>685308770
We spent the budget on those molotovs
>>685308770
No.
>>685308770
Irs called self check out retard. I don't want to hear a fucking word about it being hard to scan that dog food. Maybe your dog shouldn't be such a fat fuck that needs 50 lbs of shit tier kibble.
>>685308668
sorry i wanted a doughnut but the pay is so shit here all i had to give him was my soul...
>>685308857
I have a new target.
>>685308937
Next time do it outside rookie
>>685308859
you still have to pay for those btw
>>685301867
hey guys!
>>685309129
Hey Josh.
Dammit just stained my red shirt blue. Now everyone thinks im from walmart
>>685309054
but the look on that child's face was priceless...until satan ripped it off
Ok ok which one of you is operating a glory hole out of the dressing room?
>>685309129
run
>>685308259
>his target doesn't have an island dedicated to toys
>>685309122
Don't worry mate, I'll just get another student loan to pay for it
Some nigger is stealing laptops
>>685309333
Or you could just match me and donate to Bernie.
>>685309129
WTF are you doing here wallmart fag?
>>685309313
She is, got a problem with that?
>>685309374
Its his laptop now. Nothing we gon do bout' it.
>>685309333
just remember if you fail to pay im selling your organs on the black market
>>685309489
Yep to old. Hi I'm John and if the woman has breast I'm not impressed.
Hey Sarah I'll give you 20 bucks to cover the rest of my shift. Oh by the way I'll throw in another 20 for nudes and and blow job. We got a deal?
>>685309313
sorry sir come on by and ill make it up to you ;)
Guys I don't officially work here, but I came in here wearing a red shirt and khakis and have been on cleanup duty for the pass 8 hours. Can I leave now?
>>685309633
Sounds good sir. Let me suck you off before the nudes...
(mind blowing bj)
That was nice. Here's my nudes BEFORE THE SURGERY AHAHAHAHA
Hey guys, I got all the shoes pulled you asked for. They're in the back, just come grab them.
>>685309600
dammit john if you dont knock this off ill knock you up!
>>685301943
no you lazy stoner shit
>>685301943
Did you guys see that qt-3.14 that just ce in?
I'm gonna give her all the coupons to redeem. You feel me fam?
>>685309810
You had surgery to remove the gland responsible for funny posts?
The whole shelf between aisles 8 and 9 fell over and killed two kids. Here comes a lawsuit!
>>685309807
shut up and stock the shelves
>>685309913
this is why we hate backroom people. also you're fired.
>>685310001
Well it was my penis so yea.
>>685310013
HI it's John the pedo again. No worries boss I'll make sure these bodies are taken care of.
>>685310013
Hide the bodies, I know a good lawyer
>>685310416
Should I kill the parents and hide their bodies?
>>685310407
omg he did something right for once..
can i have a raise?
NEED BACK UP ON AISLE 404.
THERES A FAT BITCH TWERKING ON THE FLOOR.
>>685310581
You are free to do what you want with their parents in the back
>>685309884
why is jackie chan there?
>>685301867
fuck some nigger is filming little girls in the bathroom again.. what do?
>>685310744
let her shes not hurting anyone
>>685310738
Only when the wage gap is dismantled shit Lord.
>>685310888
Join in
>Grill of dreams walks up to my check out
>Only has a Coke
>Places it on Moving counter
Me: Think you missed the Diet ;) *laughs awkwardly*
Her: Ummm ok *shoked look on face*
>she pickes up her Coke from the moving table and walks out backwars slowly and goes to Anons checkout instead.
Her
>>685310888
thats john, let him be
>>685310888
Take away the phone and send me the pictures
do you want a red card
Do you want a red card
Do you want a red card
DO YOU WANT A RED CARD
Hey guys Tammy the cashier says her bf dumped her, so she's gonna to suck off all the dudes who work during her break and after her shift ends. Who's in ?
>>685301867
fucking Q for the toilet is massive
>>685311030
I DON'T LIVE AROUND HERE DAMN YOU. I SAID IT FIVE TIMES I'M FROM OUT OF TOWN. FINE FINE FINE I'LL TAKE ONE YOU FUCKING MONSTER.
>>685310910
#OnlywhenthewagegapisdismantledshitLordGate
>>685311054
I think everybody but John.
>>685310822
Didn't corporate inform you about the Jackie Chan appearance today? Shit!
>>685302185
>>685302387
that escalated quickly...
>>685311039
Shit. Gavin clean up the radioactive waste in men's clothing
>>685311235
But is not so good from that angle.
This hot cunts walks in and pisses on the tinned sardines
wat do?
Some arab is building a bomb in the bathroom what do i do?
>>685311054
don't touch her you'll catch something
>>685311339
Go up behind her, and snap her neck
>>685311339
Dis
>>685311357
Let him be
>>685311357
shhh
Whoever's been taking just one bite out of everyone's god damn sandwiches in the break room refrigerator needs to grow the fuck up.
>we all know it's you, Lars
>>685311357
Take him to our new Allah u snackbar.
>>685311512
then he walks round the corner and starts sniffing and licking his shoe
>>685311596
HI John the pedo again. Yea that is my fault. Been using them as bait.
>>685311130
YOU'LL TAKE IT AND LOVE IT GOD DAMN IT 5% OFF EVERY PURCHASE FROM TARGET
>>685311731
BUT I ONLY HAVE AN ALBERTSONS AND A DOLLAR GENERAL NEAR MY HOUSE!
CAN I WORK IN THE SAMPLES AREA SO I CAN CUM ON PEOPLES SAMPLES?
REPENT FOR YOUR SINS HEATHENS
>>685311829
DOESN'T MATTER 5% 5 FUCKING PERCENT YOU'LL LOVE HAVING IT PLUS THINK OF IT AS A DETERANT FROM OTHER EMPLOYEES!
>>685312023
THAT LAST PART MAKES. SO MUCH SENSE.
>>685301867
God dammit who the fuck shrink wrapped this food skid? It looks like shit
>>685312121
>>685312023
>>685312017
WHY ARE WE YELLING?
The freezer broke hours ago and all the meat is rotten!
Johns in the bathroom again, whos on jizz mop duty?
>>685310744
Why are you posting thumbnails like a retarded wal-mart employee?
>>685312236
BECAUSE FUCK YOU
>>685312357
Lol you haven't been here Ling have you. When John's in the stall no evidence is ever left. Dudes a pro.
>>685302513
But there's no femenine dick, he's just a faggot.
I'm so glad corporate let's men enter womens room...
>>685312407
FUCK YOU TO NIGGER
*on the mic rappin to my bae*
On the mic is a queen so listen to me sing, he want a newport super size baby ruuuth.He can come out the house with no ankel bracelit on but he got two strikes so dont get his order wrong. Bon qui qui think he cute and theres notthing u could say, but if he get wit me we could do it your way
(totally ripped this)
>>685310822
Booty so fine that Jackie chan had to see for himself in person
>>685302513
There's no femenine dick, Francis. He couyld be a raper, and only me can fuck my 12yo daughter, what would she think when she realizes my 7 cm dick is too small?
>>685301867
uh, hey boss... if I identify as a woman can I use the lady's room in the break room or is that just for customers?
>>685313045
John is way ahead of you
>"Light brown guy in a suit with a sweet beard, handlebar mustache and blue Ray Ban enters the store"
> Aaaayyy wuddup fam
How do you react?
>>685312121
I KNOW IT DOES CAUSE EVEN AS AN EMPLOYEE I DO IT!
>>685313220
shoot him and claim self defence
Hey do you guys have a ladies' room?
>>685307254
Shit! Any rare ones?
do you guys carry KKK hoods
i'm going to a KKK party
>>685313572
right this way, Becky...
Hi I'm Frank from accounting, I came here today because I'm going to run an internal audit. For the month of February I see this store location earned $122,061.93 but when I compare them to your daily revenue reports the numbers do not match. There seems to be a discrepancy of $3,012.91. Would you care to explain to me where this unreported money is?
Do we sell rewards cards?
>>685314664
I'm sorry did you want know about our gift cards?
>>685314622
Roody poo stole it
ATTENTION. THIS IS THE USDA AND ALL OF YOUR VEGETABLES ARE INFECTED WITH AIDS. PREPARE TO BURN ALL OF IT. THAT IS ALL. THE USDA HAS SPOKEN.
>>685311687
No, because he's not a beta bitch.
>>685316086
Good thing we got the molotov cocktails.
>>685309325
Underrated comment. 8/10
if anyone needs me, i'll be in women's underwear
>>685316895
no one needs you anon, for anything, ever
I ate taco bell and guiness, time to put this new bathroom policy to the test.
>>685317386
Why hello I'm John the pedo. Sorry but all the stalls in the women's restroom are occupied at the moment by sweet precious little preteens who need all kinds of privacy so that the cams can pic up all their delightful noises.
Instocks reporting in, ready to take the blame and workload of everyone's bullshit
>>685308991
underrated
yis
