The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>685117609
>op not a fag
Op is a fag
>>685117609
"I'm voting for Trump"
>>685117609
But it's a feminine penis!
>>685117609
the wage gap exists
>>685117668
can confirm, OP is a fag
>>685117609
are'nt jews just black catholics
>>685117609
PC master race
>>685117609
>cruise control should be illegal because it uses more gas because your engine is always spinning.
Dumb cunt didnt/wouldnt understand that lifting your foot off the accelerator pedal and coasting then pressing the pedal again means your car is constantly accelerating instead of holding a steady speed.
>>685117609
I'm on 4chan
"Consoles are just as good as PC"
>>685117609
"I love you"
>>685118173
5deep7me
>>685118173
This can mean so many things, what do you mean by it?
>>685117609
The jews are persecuted
"No No! I'll call the police if you don't stop!"
>>685117609
Be yourself.
"But I'm only 15"
>>685117609
Is he natty?
I have heard almost all of the dipwad questions from this youtube.
/watch?v=cVfBPMzlLSU
>>685117609
OP was right
>>685118733
why can't you just b urself tho?
>>685118002
op said dumbest thing, not smartest thing
God is love
>>685118295
She told me she loved me and she wouldn't have anyone else in the world
Pretty dumb right?
>>685118898
because the normie's can't handle my powerlevel
"Black people contribute to society."
>>685117609
"/pol/ was right again!!!"
>>685119047
the goal of "b-ing urself" is not to appeal to everyone but to appeal to people that are like urself
>>685117609
A guy I worked with noticed bike chains left on bike racks and couldn't understand how they got their bikes off.
>>685119239
what if anonymous are the only people who appeal to me, just a bunch of faceless strangers I can mute at any time
"Jet fuel can melt steal beams"
"9/11 was not an inside job"
Women's opinions matter too
>>685119460
then you're very insecure and it's something you should work at
>>685119617
not really insecure tbh. i just get aggrevated if i spend to much time around people they always say or do something that makes me want to punch a motherfucker
>>685117609
back when i used to smoke weed one of my stoner buddies said 'what if there was like a path you could use to go over water so you didnt have to walk to the bridge when you needed to cross a river'
>>685117609
"Close the door you're letting the WiFi out"
>>685119931
I'll give him a pass cause he was probably stoned out of his mind
>>685119781
congrats you are superior
>If I wanted to play games in 4K I would just plug my console into a 4K TV
>>685117609
"I love you, okay?!"
>>685120148
we all where but none of us came out with shit like that, another friend was convinced the titanic weighed 60 million tons, he argued this for over an hour, smartphones would have made those days so much easier.
>>685118112
Me too
>>685120172
purge soon?
>>685117609
Why is it always in the last place you look?
>>685117609
people on /b/ are actually really intelligent and just pretend they're stupid
>>685120496
That's poorly worded, not really stupid.
"Why is it always in the last place you'd look?"
>>685117609
"I'm an atheist...DEBATE ME!"
>>685119043
4chinz full of players
Anytime someone uses the word literally. It now has the opposite meaning.
>>685117609
AMD is good
>>685120637
This.
>>685118078
>what is a steady foot
Reddit.com/r/twochromosomes
Anything from there
>>685117609
"I'm voting for Bernie"
>>685117609
"I'm not really ready to have sex, Im only 9"
>>685121165
You had me at "I'm voting."
From my point of view the Jedi are evil
>>685117609
>Mathematics is stupid because when you take 20% from 100 you get 80 but when you add 20% of 80 to 80 you don't get back to 100.
There is no image that can describe my face that day.
>>685121227
>>685121282
>There is no image that can describe my face that day.
probably frowning because it took you a while to finally figure out why it was dumb
>>685119781
Please stop talking to yourself
>How do you spell DNA?
>>685117609
holocaust,
"there is no reason why it is an black actor. A white actor could have done the job as well. and thats racism"
Corn kernels are simply popcorn nuts.
"we're all people"
"equal rights"
"human beings"
"education in america"
"it's past your bedtime, son"
slang in general is pretty bad when it's not ironic, but jesus christ slang in any euro-language is just pure cancer. that being said, Mexican Spanish is the worst.
>dogs can't look up
This chick I was in high school with, didn't believe me that things look smaller the further away they are because of perspective, I had to demonstrate with a pencil by putting it close to her, then moving it away so it would appear smaller. Bitch still didn't believe me. That, and the one guy I used to work with did not know what petroleum was.
>>685117609
My young brother. He is 25
>He thinks of there are 3 people in a room and 2 of them do psilocybin mushrooms, the 3rd person hallucinate a tiny bit because of the "vibes'
He still believe this. Last time him and I did some shooms he looked over at our dog and said "he is tripping, hahhahaha" when I asked him why he thought this he went on about done bullshit on how we will never truly understand the ways of the universe. I hate pothead philosophers
>>685122315
that's not how a contact high works at all, tell your brother he's a nigger
>"movies are not art"
>"islam teaches peace"
>"people who dont smoke are boring"
>>685120416
me again
"Humans are naturally vegan, like all the other great apes!"
Sent that bitch a video of chimps cannibalizing each other
>>685117609
"I don't understand all this talk about nuclear power. It's not like we have nuclear power plants here in Sweden".
>>685122700
how can plants be nuclear if plants are organic and nuclear power isn't
>>685117609
"if the statue of liberty falls do we lose our freedom?"
-high school bimbo
>I'm vegan
evalion is a racist
>>685117609
gun control doesn't work
>>685122315
second hand shrooming can confirm is real
doesent work with psilocybin truffles tho
>>685122315
You should've beat him to death.
>>685117609
"9/11 was a hoax"
Like, why would i ever vote? It's not like it matters.
>>685117609
"Bats are in fact old rats. You never see dead old rats anywhere. Never wondered why?"
>"nostalgia is valid"
>goes on to say people only like a particular game because of nostalgia and they should look at it objectively to see that it's a piece of shit
>>685123102
People spouting "your vote DOES matter!" are the same people blaming Bernie's losses on rigged systems.
So does my vote matter or not?
>>685123102
Have you been paying attention? The system is completely rigged against everyone who votes against their puppet.
Vote your fucking heart out. It's not about who votes the votes, it's the person who counts the votes.
"Ya'know how ducks quack? That's how in sync we are."
>>685117609
"Migranten Wilkommen"
"Les jeunes beurs sont des chances pour la France"
"L'islam est en France pour y rester"
"Les immigrés vont payer nos pensions"
Etc.
"Don't say black people, say African-Americans!"
We were talking about French black people.
>>685123516
>Migranten Wilkommen
Kek
"Tom Hanks is a bad actor, he plays the same character in every movie."
I'm still not sure whether he was serious or if he was confusing Hanks and Cruise or something
>be me
>be 12 years old
>be in a foster home
>accidentally hurt my foster brother earlier that day
>he is six years old
>foster mother "You've got to be careful Anon, he's half your age and he always will be."
>me "No he won't. When I'm 42 he will be 36."
> foster mother "No! He's half your age and he always will be!!!"
>Me "When I'm 112 he will be 106."
>Dumb cunt "Ah - just go to your room!"
>"I'm pansexual"
>i wouldn't even say she was bisexual, bitch was straight as a laser but hey that wouldn't get her any attention would it
>>685120637
pfffttt hahahahaha
>telling someone they're not listening
>they interrupt your next sentence with, "no, YOU'RE not listening!"
>i no u r but wut am i
>>685117710
what's dumb about voting for the donald?
>>685124125
I'll make this my choice.
i live next to mexico, about a 10 minute drive.
this was back in highschool. i was sitting in spanish class where the students where all 100% hispanic, and the teacher showed us a map of mexico.
this one girl got super suprised and said "i thought mexico was as big as [city were in]"
she had only ever visited the town right across from the border.
i never thought of anyone as stupid until that day.
>someone's stupid ass ring tone goes off
>he searches his pockets for eternity
>pulls out ultra gay iPhone 5 (android master race)
>stares at it for god knows how long before finally shouting, "Oh, I forgot this was a phone!"
Mfw when this world is full of retards
>>685117609
Stupid Indians, hunting the white mans buffalo.
>>685124286
probably thought it was an ipod and was trying to figure out why it was making sound
>>685118216
6stupid8me
>>685119781
just punch them then....or let them know that they are retards.
>its liberating and funny
>truth, is.
>all u got to do is to stop being scared,homie
>>685119781
This is very relatable
Is there a revolution we don't know about?
>>685117609
>We have designated shitting streets
Fucking kek mate I swear, fucking indians
>>685117609
"Evolution can't be real because my mom told me it makes Jesus sad"
Coming from one of the tard brigade when I was in high school
"I'm getting married"
Retarded
"I'm a trans gay man"
>>685121009
word basically = poor education
>>685124699
American accent = virtually no education
>>685124831
>texan accent
>fixed
some of my best friends are black
>>685117609
trumps dad was rich so he knows more than obama
global warming
>>685124912
Nah, any american accent m8
"Meat is good for you"
"I'm an improv comedian."
- Arin Hanson
'There are many people out there more intelligent than you that believe in God'
Laughed for days
>>685119239
what if "yourself" is someone that is fundamentally unlikable by all humans? The proper advice shouldnt be "be yourself" but "fit in" for almost all situations. You want a promotion? fit in. You want to be popular? fit in. you want to get invited to parties? fit in. You want your dick in and around the mouth of a chick, identify her social group, figure out their characteristics, fit in, put the tip in.
>>685117710
This
I'm a PC gamer look at my alienware laptop
>>685125158
White meat, or fish, oven baked and basted with olive oil.
>>685117609
My friend once asked me "Was Jesus born as a baby?">>685117609
>>685119931
Like stepping stones in a river? that's a kind of path, isnt a bridge and you can cross it.
I'm a vegan
"Seattle doesn't support corporations."
The fucking cornerstone of that city is Starbucks.
>>685125239
>fit in her pussy.
America has a great culture
>>685117609
niggers tongue my anus
"Do you think if you called that guy on your phone, and I stood between you guys, that I could steal the phone call with my phone?"
>>685125552
natives did
>>685124912
>clearly never been to Georgia
Every person I met there was a blithering idiot
>>685121127
It's http://reddit.com/r/twoxchromosomes and I completely agree.
>>685125239
>thinking in terms of 'fitting in' and not 'getting along'
oh 4chan
>any 12-year old
>>685117609
hitler did something wrong
>>685117609
"Can't you just calm down and stop acting weird"
- said to me in the middle of a manic episode
>>685125694
How is that dumb? Do you even know how phones work/how they might be intercepted?
If you did, you might have been able to give a legit answer to his question. And you might also have realized that it was actually a pretty good question.
>>685117609
"Do these stairs go up?"
>>685125723
The dumb part is has
>>685125859
Maybe with a walkie talkie but not with cellulars bro
>>685120253
hahahahaha
>>685125750
>>685125859
And the winner of dumbest thing said goes too..
>>685125239
But will those superficial things lead to happiness? Because isn't that the goal? So being yourself might be harder in the beginning, but the results might even make you a better person who others aspire to be
>>685124589
"Evolution is just a religion" - said by a 14 year old whose parents are teaching him everything in the bible is fact.
"Why can't they renovate the whole Scotland?"
My country is the best country.
"I'm being oppressed by Anita Sarkeesian"
>>685122466
ckecked
also I wouldn't be surprised if those three came from the same person.
>>685125953
>>685126030
And the implication is? What? Encryption? As if things can't be decrypted? Or what?
Why is it *impossible* to intercept a call?
>>685126296
>I'm being oppressed
Coulda stopped there. If you're speaking English, you're not fucking oppressed.
>>685126366
It's not "impossible" to intercept a call but you can't do it by standing near it with naught but another phone you inbred
>>685126387
>thinks oppression has anything to do with what language you speak
congrats, you've won the dumbest statement competition
>>685117609
>rate my cock
>>685126516
Let me rephrase.
If you're living in a primarily English-speaking region you are not oppressed.
>>685126591
you just broke your own record
>>685126479
You can most likely program a phone to intercept, decrypt, and do everything necessary to intercept another call. Why not?
Maybe you just didn't give his question enough thought, kiddo
>>685126591
Stop telling me I am not oppressed, you schizer eating piece of fromage.
>>685126690
Please, any western civilization is totally devoid of true oppression.
Anything ever said by my ex mother in law or current mother in law. 2 of the stupidest people I've ever encountered. Ex mother in law was also the most evil soulless human I've ever met and is dead from cancer. I hope she suffered immensely.
>>685125236
considering you're here on /b/ shitting on people who have something worth living for in their lives, I'd say that sentence was pretty darn accurate
>>685126751
Because he was talking about just whipping out his fuckin' motorolla razr. Maybe you're giving it too much thought, kiddo.
>>685117710
"I support Hillary Clinton">>685117609
>>685126756
and again
>>685126941
Who's oppressed in the western world? Fucking tell me. I'd love to hear it.
>>685117720
THIS
>>685127000
first, let's see you define what oppression means
>>685126870
I do it with my tracfone all the time. All you have to do is get between the intended recipient and the nearest cell tower and hit 'talk' before they do.
>>685117609
"The first celts to inhabit Scotland and Ireland were black"
>>685126520
>femanon here
>>685120147
What the. Is that from an old person or a woman ?
>>685127000
>>685127111
top way to get an annoying know-nothing to disappear forever: ask him to define his terminology
>>685126516
Fuck off back to Tumblr
>>685126066
will being popular, well employed and laid make you happy? Yes, those are the definitions of happiness, friendo.
>>685128071
>everyone has the same standards
retard
>>685128006
fuck off back to the 1800s
>>685117609
I insert my schwanz into the OP's fantasy girlfriend's anus.
hello OP
I ejaculat powrefuly
the OP's fantasy girlfriend explodes from the force and volume of my seamin
A tear roll's down the OP's cheek
I defecate
Ahhh it is good to be the king! The schwanz king!
>>685126803
Exemples ?
>>685117609
>"Masturbate to traps isn't gay"
>>685124403
7kek9me
>Melee and smash 4 are pretty much the same game
black lives matter
>>685128421
"Nobody ever does anything for me" right after I spent 3 hours cooking her a Mother's day dinner. I'd also just bought her a car a month prior.
"how can you even die of internal bleeding, I mean, blood is MEANT to be inside your body"
>>685128766
>pretty much the same game
triggered
>>685129250
Youre the dumb one
>2016
>not knowing humans only have blood in them
>>685130206
foud the stupid shite
>grade 6
>recess
>it was a hot humid day
>waiting for friends when I overhear 2 girls talking
>"someone should put a air conditioner out here"
>mfw
>>685117609
"I dont think I've ever actually read an entire book all the way through"
This came from a sophomore in college. She flunked out that year, shockingly
>>685117609
"Here's your human child, Mrs Anon".
(Said to my mother. I don't remember it, but I can assure you I heard something along those lines)
>>685130269
Found the guy who misread sarcasm
>>685131284
>aliens are among us
>>685117609
check 4 chan out, its really good
>>685131385
No. My mother just took a massive shit in a hospital bed, and the nurses put a diaper on it.
I should have been a blowjob at best. More fitting would be a wank into an abandoned sock at a bus station.
White privilege
>>685129198
oh so not dumb then, you're just a selfish prick who was made to do something for someone else twice in your life and you're still mad about it.
>>685117609
"I recognize that gay blowjob!"
"weed gets me high and pot makes me horny"
>>685117609
This tweet
"I promise you can have my number before I finish work"
>I never got it.
>>685126926
>"I support Hillary Clinton
This
>>685133641
"I think black people can be better than white people if they get raised like whites"
>>685127114
You sir are a fucking mongoloid
>>685117609
n/a
>>685134735
No, I'm a virgin mongoloid. But someday I sure do hope to upgrade.
>>685131682
Underrated post
>>685134877
At least you have a sense of humour, but fucking hell man, the question was if I stand here can I intercept this call. Not is it humanly possible to intercept a phone call. We all know phones can be hacked, but not based purely on the position you stand in
>pic related
Liberals are all retarded in some way.
>>685117609
your dick in my mouth instead of my dick in your mouth
>>685135131
And you took me seriously, which may have been a mistake.
SomeFag out there is climbing a phone pole right now and trying to get between people and their cell towers.
I fucking win.
there should be a shop that just sells bread...
>>685120297
well.. it did weigh close to 60 THOUSAND tons. so maybe again, just stoned as fuck when he heard that.
Have a nice day. Fuck you I'll have any kind
Of day I want
http://life.paperblog.com/300-is-racist-ableist-and-homophobic-as-hell-981483/
This. I found it while trying to find a picture of that guy with swords for arms in 300
Since it is a horrible read I will summarise:
It is racist to kill 'a-rabs' (aka the persians), it is ableist not to let that humpback guy join. It is racist that the black guys got killed. etc
>>685117609
>be me
>some years ago
>hear that one of my friends had fucked up
>ask how
>be friend
>him and his gf were skyping with another chick
>they were talking about girls in our class
>friend says to his gf:
>If we weren't together, I'd totally fuck this chick in our class
>she starts crying
>her friend is trying to
comfort her
>After she stopped crying he says:
>"Hey, do you like Doritos?
>She hangs up.
>I just look at him with the most confused look on my face
>>685117609
make america great again
>>685117609
Is fish meat?
>>685117668
This was the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread. Thank you for not disappointing me /b/
>"white lives have no value, they should all commit suicide"
video of a black kid on a college debate team, he actually wins debates somehow, even after being asked why they have no value and responds with "theyre evil and just don't"
>Women's rights
>>685137516
That's not dumb tho, I can see most people giving varying answers to that question.
pic related
Rape is worse than murder
>my ex
>>685123885
>bitch was straight as a laser
"There is systematic racism!" this white girl last night talking about BLM.
>>685119460
lol u cant tell people to stop talking
HEY EVERYBODY GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY
grow up
When i was in highschool this one girl described space as a closed up room. Unironically.
>>685120735
no yours is a true statement
>>685120496
this is stupid because its like saying "Why the crayons always in the box?"
That's where they go motherfucker
>>685118112
same.
i dont want to bee alive
"I'm too smart for public education. That's why I dropped out of highschool."
>>685139516
>>685137516
>Be a vegetarian.
>Asked if I eat seafood by some cunt that wants to call me a hypocrite.
>I say yes.
>Cunt says "HA! Fish have feelings"
>"I don't eat fish. I eat seaweed, though."
>Cunt says "Seaweed isn't seafood."
Correc tme if I'm wrong, but if you have to go into the sea to harvest it, fucking seafood.
>>685122920
are u saying this ironically? I hope so. Maybe you should be underagebanned
>>685117609
"Refugees Welcome"
>>685139733
it has sea in the name hence it is seafood.
flash games made in 2 hours are SEA-food.
>>685139733
Agreed. It came from the sea...
>>685124286
was probably faded af
>>685124564
u don even kno m8. They put flowers and shit around toilets that eurocucks make for them. they treat them as shrines and even leave food for them.. the toilets
Islam is the religion of peace.
>>685124286
>(android master race)
>>685139965
>>685139944
Also had conversation with argumentative fuck who asked if I eat fish, birds. I say no.
He comes back with "Fish and birds aren't meat."
Fast forward three months, he has forgotten that we've had this conversation but not that he's a dickhole.
"Do you eat fish and birds?"
I decide to test a theory. "Yeah, I eat fish and birds."
"Why? Fish and birds are meat. You're a fucking hypocrite."
Reminded him of our previous conversation.
Fast forward another month, kid threatens to stab me every time we are the only two people in the room (we work together.)
UMAD bro?
Go to HR and report him. They're fucking useless because I have no evidence and he denies it.
Quit the job because I don't want to deal with it.
Fast forward again some months when he gets fired for threatening another co-worker.
"Libtard" or "Conservatard".
Just makes any arguments or statements they made seem well, retarded.
>>685117609
dumbest thing i heard was that someone was collecting dsta and monitering IPs to link the information together to create a profile on people
>inb4 shitstorm- i mean, like really... mine were eggs...
>>685127114
That's not how this works
That's not how any of this works
>>685140990
buffered dubs
>>685138896
Did the whale get tired?
America is the greatest country in the world.
>>685117609
Dude, you itch an itch, not scratch it.
USAF BMT trainee
god is real
>new cook brings hotplate back to dishroom
>"This is hot... like, not hot and it won't burn your hand, but kind of hot"
>So... warm?
>>685141128
Josh?
>>685117609
News flash
Trees in national parks are racist
"I'm immune to pregnancy."
2 months later, bitch is pregnant.
Was a good kek
>>685141896
that's what someone says to you if you're annoying
>>685117609
>We should remain in the EU
>>685137516
I lived in Japan and they never understood there that if it comes from a body of a living creature it IS A MEAT.
I don't get how country with people so dumb can has such a success in the world. Even though its economy is getting worse nowadays.
Another quotes from Japan, from people of the most elite high school in Kyoto.
"So you don't have sea, that's why you don't like seafood, right? Oh yeah, your country is next to England. That's why you speak English in your country." (Really I am from non English speaking country)
"Don't you Europeans all have guns at home? You can buy them freely, right?"
"You people don't really shower, just use perfumes, right?"
"Westerners walk around naked."
Btw Japanese girls don't shave at all before they got to uni. And they all love Minions, Taylor Swift, 1D, Twilight and all the most obnoxious mainstream popculture because they think we Westerners love it.
>>685129250
That was a joke on brooklin nine nine.
>>685142237
I told you not to call me that on here you fucking nignog!
>>685143225
>"Westerners walk around naked."
this isn't what you think it means
>>685143751
What does it mean then? They specifically told me they read somewhere that we are used to greet our neighbors naked, sunbathe naked in gardens, etc... Maybe they watch too much porn, idk.
>>685117609
Dumb mechanic staring at the frame on a pickup going yep it's definitely a unibody
>>685143983
naked=/=nude
word joke nigger
>>685117710
found the Berniefag
>>685143983
it means you dont hold your egos in. you walk around like a fat man unloading his girth over his jeans
>>685125236
did ye aye?
>>685144277
Nah, we were talking in Japanese, not English anyway. They meant without clothes, at least I am strongly convinced they did.
>>685120496
It's always going to be in the last place you look. If you found it, why would you keep looking?
>>685117609
Girl: You know those cliffs with the faces on them?
Me: You mean mt rushmore.
Girl: Did they grow like that or did someone make them like that.
There's a few levels of stupid in that one
>>685117609
black lives matter
>>685117609
"check 'em"
Fuck these degenerate gambling addicted assholes.
>>685123516
Hi there neonazi scumbag whorefuckering dildomonger.
>>685144851
As a non-japanese, I would advise against assuming they aren't multidimensional communicators
we wuz kings
>Be me
>work at high adventure scout camp
>"Any questions, guys?"
"At what elevation do the deer turn to elk?"
I don't even.
>>685118002
True master race doesn't require the acknowledgement of console plebs.
