Need advice? Come on in...also feels thread
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Need advice? Come on in...also feels thread
I want to die my coworkers are bunch of assholes and i dissapoint my mom too many time
How do you suicide?
>>684879062
Step 1)wake up
Step 2)decide to kill yourself tomorrow
Step 3)tomorrow comes
Step 4)decide to kill yourself tomorrow
Lather, rinse, repeat. You're already dead inside.
>>684879051
I'm sorry to hear that anon. How are you disappointing your mother?
>>684879368
this is basically me
>>684879482
I missed a shit ton of school and still do. I cant wake up in the morning. Nothing wakes me up. She tries to wake me up but cant. Ive tried multiple alarms and nothing. Ive been diagnosed with a lot of shit and im tiredof everything i eant to give up
>>684880433
I feel you bro. I try to keep going for my daughter's sake.
>>684880746
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking.
My girl left me. I'm failing uni. My car has been vandalized twice, in less than a week. I can't find a job.
I want to kill myself. I've been wanting to die since I was a kid. I see death now as a way out of this shit hole. I'm really, really tired of all this shit. I just wanna sleep for a long time.
Help me...
>>684878321
I seek only advice on the most painful and surefire way to kill yourself.
I want to experience impossible agony. But I don't want to survive the experience. Any thoughts?
>>684878321
I dont want to live, like u guys, either. I decided to travel, work for 2 months or so and then leave everything behind and go travel to south america and mid asia, and work there for a roof above my head. or maybe ill go live like a nomad for a few months. but i wont give up on live yet. there is so much to discover
>>684881703
Die of old age
>>684881273
"When it rains, it pours"
I'm sorry to hear about all this awful shit you're dealing with. I know it doesn't seem significant since this is /b/ after all, but the fact that you are reaching out means that you still have that little bit of fight left in you. It's easy to focus on that bigger part that thinks you can't cope and you'd be better off dead, but please hold onto that fighter inside. It's going to be difficult and you'll want to give up, but I hope you choose to keep going. One day at a time, one hour, one minute. Whatever it takes. I may just be a fellow anon but I care about you and I hope you don't end it.
>>684882111
Good for you. I hope you discover a new way of life and you find your reason to keep going.
>>684881056
18 and i might have to retake the school year SEVENTE3N
New hamster i got to help my depression doesnt like me
>>684882848
you shouldve bought a rat, hamsters likes no one
>>684883068
I thought they liked people
i'm out of stuff
>>684882679
It's a tough situation. When I was about that age I had the same problem. Of course I was staying up til 3am most nights and ate nothing but junk. If you're having problems getting to sleep you might see if she can take you to the doc. Otherwise I recommend getting more activity. Walking, running, dancing, whatever it takes to get your heart pumping. It helped me a lot when I had insomnia and struggled to get out of bed every day. That's just my take, but you might end up finding a better solution. I hope things get better for you.
Tonight marks 2 months since the day I was going to kill myself. I finally managed to tell someone today how bad I am, so why do I still feel hollow? Help me /b/, I don't think I can do this much longer.
>>684884113
It's ok anon, thanks for your contribution!
>>684884412
>>684882301
bruh...
>>684884345
You made it 2 months? That's awesome anon! Whether or not you acknowledge it, that took major willpower (you might say laziness, but it takes far less effort to give up and die). The hard truth is bad stuff is gonna hit you, and there will be times where you think no one is there for you, and it's gonna seem easier and simpler to go through with it, but please know that you're not the only one that has felt or currently feels that way, and you are capable of living. I hope you continue to choose life and that things look up for you. I'm sorry that I don't have more practical advice, but I'm glad you're still with us.
>>684884345
Its ok you opened up and hopefully that person wont be an ass and use it against you. If they do then they arent worth your time. I know that too well
>>684878321
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrpMncSZe-I
>>684885155
I'm not sure if she really understands what I meant. This is the first time I've ever really tried telling someone, and I couldn't just outright say "I was going to kill myself 2 months ago."
Today at about 1:00pm CST My father and I got into a shouting match. I'm 19. I have been working 2 jobs for 3 months and have been feeling copious amounts of stress and paranoia daily for no reason. He comes home right as I get done cutting the grass. I live at home for 1 more year before college is done for me. He starts asking me how im doing and spirals into bullshit about my truck being broken to which I "was bitching about" when I wasn't. He called me lazy for not fixing a thing on my truck and added nothing good to that. I shouted at him and told him I didn't want to talk to him when I got back from work. I havent looked at the bastard at all. It is the first time I have ever fully shouted at my dad. And I don't care.
>>684878321
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4_x063rhX4
one of my favorites
>>684885159
I'm digging it. I'd never heard of Little Dragon before.
>>684884345
bro opening up to people about shit like this will only make it worse, nobody understands .. at least from my experience
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS-fK_jHsRw
>>684881703
Fall in love with someone that doesn't love you
more baww images please
>>684885417
True maybe she doesn't or maybe she needs a better explanation. Did you outright say it or did you kinda hint at it
>>684885694
Kinda true. But there are peoplethat understand. Those that do are worth keeping around
>>684886359
Hinted. I started by telling her the significance of the date (why I picked it as my day to die). It was the day before my 18th birthday. Then I told her that at the time, I wasn't sure I wanted to be 18. Later on, I forget exactly what she said to prompt it, but I told her that today marks 2 months since I almost made a stupid mistake.
Problem is, tonight I'm not feeling like it would have been that much of a mistake. I can feel my depression coming back, and I don't want to go down that path again.
>>684885694
Actually the opposite. The more open you are, the more you let all of life in, and experience to the truthest of your being, even if some people won't understand, it's not about them, it's about your own well being
bumping this shit.
This always gets to me
>>684879368
Mine is basically that but just in longer periods such as killing myself in 2 weeks but actually don't
RIP thread. I really needed you.
>>684878321
Not really looking for advice, probably just gonna try and attention whore here by sharing my state of mind:
Pretty sure I have had major despression for 20 years, back when I was 8 and would blame myself every time my parents got in a violent fight. But the trifecta of abuse when I was younger didn't help either I suppose, not that I even remember much.
Any way, so years and years of no treatment and I have spent this time telling myself that I am a horrible monster, that anything fucked up in my life and loved ones lives was my fault. Never told anyone, just internalised all of it.
When relationships started, that's when major fears of abandonment and suicidal thoughts and tendancies started.
Blablabla more failed relationships later, I decide cutting is a fitting form of punishment and did it quite a while. I didn't want a lot of attention, so I only cut on my chest, shoulders, and back. 100+ scars that are painfully apparent when I go shirtless.
Yadayadayada despite suicide attempts, I have decided that death is an act of love tto good for me and honestly, it's the only reason I haven't committed suicide.
So long as I'm as isolated as I can be, I'm fine. But when I get too close to aomeone in any sense, I start doing what I can to push their buttons and fuck them up. Cos I believe I'm a monster undeserving of any affection and I'll be damned if I'm proven wrong.
>>684885940
Too much related my friend
>>684886634
Never really thought about it like that but it is true
>>684888025
Thank you for opening up. That's what the thread is for. I'll spare you the "you're not a monster" speech cause it seems you might've heard it before. Just want you to know I relate to your situation and I hope things get better for you.
>>684887577
This one always upsets people. But you gotta put it in context
Maybe he calls every time he gets a text
Maybe his parents treated him poorly years ago
Maybe its fake
I cant be happy without her, who i just found out has someone else.
>>684888580
Meh, it's not so bad for those around me. I tend to bend over backwards for those who aren't too close to me. Yeah it hurts when I am physically unable to speak up for what I want, but I figure if I can Green Mile some of the pain those in my life experience, I can at least end up in Hell with dignity if there is one.
>>684887577
Word
Ive bin having a hard time /b/. Im to afraid to talk to girls. Everytime a girl just talks to me i fall in love with her because its a huge rarity. After that i cant stop thinking about her it just makes me happier than ive ever felt knowing she talked to me . Then I realize those few words that we spoke to each other that mean so much to me meant nothing to her. I slowly start becoming depressed and avoiding her and all girls because im afraid there going to talk to me and the same thing will happen over again. Im to afraid to initiate a conversation because im afraid they think im weird or ill screw it up. I think to myself"If she talks to me again then maybe ill try and have a relationship with her" but no girl has ever talked to me twice.
>>684888793
Let it be
Let it go
>>684883206
idk if youre still here but Ive had 4 hamsters now
none of them lied me, Im good with animals
Theyre, at the very most on rare occasions, sometimes curious about people and what theyre doing
Get a more social pet.
Certain kinds of birds are apparently really good, if you have times dogs are incredible, cats as well, rats as the other anon said can be good.
Basically the more intelligent it is the better chance of bonding.
I feel like the biggest dumnass on the planet. All of my concerns are all self created in my mind as I don't have to struggle with anything since I live at home with my parents. There's this disconnection of who I really am and who I imagine myself to be, specially in social situations. I'm also very bitter and angsty, and have pushed everyone away from my life. Only thing that brings me pleasure from the emptyness I feel inside are xannax and ampheyamines. I can't smoke weed cause it just trips me out.
>>684889246
I am letting it be, its the letting it go part that I cant do. I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy after her
Bros. I want to just let it out. I just broke up with my gf of 1 year. About 3 weeks ago a boy (fat, short, ugly) started flirting with her, getting her number etc. She thought he wanted to be just friends but as a guy, you know that's not the case. Anyway, he ended up telling her he has feelings for her and wanted to get to know her better, at which point she told him she has a bf. I thought he would back off at that point, but he started coming on to
her stronger sending 5 texts without reply; trying to call her every day; walking her home from work & being really emotionally manipulative.
At this point I got pissed off with him more than her, as she didn't reciprocate any of his advances. I told her don't speak to him anymore as he obviously likes her; she got annoyed at me for being so controlling (i have trust issues due to previous relationships). Since then we've started to drift apart, and tonight we had a fight again and out of anger I broke up with her. She was the best thing to have happened to me and I love her (she's had a tough life), but I couldn't stand the fact she wouldn't tell this guy to fuckoff cause she is too nice. I feel like I've fucked up but I didn't like her taking his side constantly because she felt sorry for him.
>>684878321
What do I do? Recently I just started thinking about my soul mate who died of cancer 2 years ago and now my head is getting flooded with every single memory I had with her and it's making me slowly lose it. I feel I'm going to get consumed by the darkness in my head..
>>684889054
Look, I hate to be cliche, but you need to work on yourself. You're clinging out of desperation, and it's not healthy. It's natural to want a partner, but they'll continue to resist because no one can live up to the expectation of practically being someone's reason to live. Back up, take care of yourself first, be able to be ok with your own company, and everything else will fall into place. You're trying too hard and it's probably scaring them off. It's not my intention to be harsh, but I've been there myself. Good luck anon.
>>684890495
I feel for you anon..Try to stay strong & happy; it's what she would have wanted
>>684889054
I have issues with this too.
My advice (even though I'm certainly no expert) is to stop putting them on a pedestal. They're not angels and their shit aint golden. Keep this is mind and get out there and practice, practice, practice.
>>684890678
Ok.. I'll try...
>>684889054
Stop being a faggot anon
thats the best advice I can give to you
learn to relax
learn to be relaxed
focus yourself on relaxing
Its a lot harder than it sounds, once you can do that youll be able to avoid that shit.
Then yoiull be able to fix whatever else is wrong because youll be calm enough to be objective, and once you look at shit objectively while calm you can see a way to fix it
So stop being a faggot and calm the fuck down.
>>684890847
I.know it's not easy but you can do it. Do you have any family or friends that are close?
>>684878321
You have to dodge the first bear trap by swinging on the rope then drop off to avoid the second trap
Then you're gtg
>>684890909
That might work for some, but paltry advice like that doesn't work when you find someone, like me, who will have no problem tearing myself apart when no one is paying attention, tear down others if they see what I'm doing, and working endlessly to build walls so high an fortified that not even the Colossal Titan could dent that shit.
And, this is probably obvious, but also a huge tendency to quickly and angrily call out advice like yours for the bullshit I feel it is
>>684890311
Sorry for the wall of text. I just want someone to talk to
>>684890621
thanks anon
>>684884243
Beta AF, that's not feels, that's just cringy.
>>684890311
Talk to her you stupid faggot
What is it with the people on this fucking website?
Calm the fuck down and talk to her holy shit.
EXPLAIN everything and if she cant understand tell her that you cant continue with the relationship, make sure she knows how hard it is.
Fuck me sideways you people are so fucking slow.
Just calm down.
All of the faggots ITT need to calm down, look at shit objectively, and then work on a solution.
Most of this stuff is self evident when youre not a bundle of emotions.
Man the fuck up.
>>684890909
meant to say "Then youll also be able to fix whatever else is wrong"
so to recap lads
ALL of you need to learn to calm down.
I suggest meditation.
After you learn how to calm down and be objective with shit, even stuff you feel strongly about (Im not advocating you kill your emotions)
>>684891375
>who will have no problem tearing myself apart when no one is paying attention, tear down others if they see what I'm doing, and working endlessly to build walls so high an fortified that not even the Colossal Titan could dent that shit.
Try seeing a therapist.
Im not joking or taking the piss out of you
Im being serious, try seeing a therapist to work on that stuff.
If thats your issue then you need more than any advice anyone on here could possibly give you.
>mfw she left me
>mfw i acted like i was ok
>mfw i act like i dont love her still
>>684891734
She's sleeping right now. We've talked about this so many times before and we're both sick of arguing over it. Am I unreasonable to expect her to cut of contact with someone evidently trying to pursue her? Even though I know she won't cheat with him?
>>684892035
>Am I unreasonable to expect her to cut of contact with someone evidently trying to pursue her?
You're unreasonable in this if she is willing to talk to the faggot and tell him he doesnt have a shot and never will have a shot, that shes with you and only you, and that they can still talk but nothing like that will ever happen between them
If she refuses to do that then no, youre not unreasonable in asking her to cut off contact with him.
>>684891029
Yeah.. my closest friends have been trying to figure out what to do but it's complicated because no body really has a clue how to exactly get me to feel better.. Today I grabbed my gun and I was thinking about joining her but I just couldn't go through with it... relationships I've had since her are different now because I still love them but I can never feel the same since her.. I've gone kind of distant from everyone lately so I don't drag everyone down with me because I'm just out of it.. I'm just trapped in my head full of broken memories that are bringing me down...
>>684891375
damn you sound like me.
I've been doing a lot of introspection lately, and one thing that I've been doing that is really helping is taking life (and myself) less seriously. Like literally looking at it like a big joke. If I fuck up, I try to laugh at myself instead of beating myself up.
Not sure if that helps but its been working for me.
>>684892273
I told her to say this, and she didn't because she felt too bad. The thing is I know she would never cheat, but I hated the idea of that faggot constantly trying to weasle his way in.
>>684890311
I don't think you're in the wrong for wanting her to tell the guy to back off. She may be a sweet girl who'd never cheat on you, but I think it's important that she consider your feelings in that kind of situation. If the roles were reversed, would she be totally chill if some chick kept coming onto you and you allowed it? Have you tried talking to her since? I honestly think if you think she's the real deal you should try to contact her and explain you acted out of anger but explain that ultimately 1)you didn't want to lose her and 2)you felt it was not right for her to let someone do that and how she would feel if roles reversed. You could at least try. If she's not willing to compromise and not willing to have enough of a backbone to establish boundaries with other guys, you might be better off without. Hope things work out for you!
>>684891734
Oh I know, anon. I have tried therapists in the past (forced and willingly), but one of my best walls is pathological lying. I had two consecutive protective holds, they wven threatened to lock me up in the mental facility in Blackfoot near where I live, but I lied my ass off to all of them and let them be smug fucks and patronise me so they could feel better about themselves. Left the second time and immediately started using suicide threats to control the girl I was dating at the time.
I do need a therapist, but I need ine that is gonna call me out on my bullshit right away. Of course, being a poorfag doesn't help either. I have no insurance and make 8.75 an hour which would be okay, but I'm not allowed to work more than 19 hours a week.
>>684892273
oh also she HAS to tell him to stop all the flirting and shit
if he refuses then once again youre not unreasonable in asking her to tell him to get out her life
>>684892334
I'm still waiting for the one day where I stop having so much unbridled hatred for myself. Or at least some TBI so I can become too retarded to hate myself.
>>684892321
I can half relate but damn. To lose the one you love in that way. Live a happy life anon - you know she wouldn't want to see you end it like that. Maybe you'll never find someone else again, but you will know she will always love you.
>>684878321
i knocked up my sister WTF DO I DO?
>>684890311
I've been through this myself man I broke up with my gf of 2 years because of this shit I loved her Yeah but if she isn't willing to do something about this guy when he is the reason your relationship is becoming the way it is well then that chick just doesn't deserve anyone cause she needs to pull her head out of her ass and realize that what she is doing is also wrong
What is good way to stop thinking about your ex all the time? We broke up over a year ago and I haven't stop thinking about her since.
The bad is part is she dumped me just to be with someone else.
I want to forget her the same she forgot about me.
i want to forget we ever met.
>>684893126
Coat hanger, steel toed boots, stairs, and lots of lying.
>>684892547
>>684892571
That's the thing. She said she couldn't imagine what the reverse would be cause I would never do that to her. He said he just wants to be friends but I was so uncomfortable with him being so emotionally manipulative to get attention & sympathy from her. I think he was acting out of selfish reasons (I.e. to get close to her under the pretensepret of being a friend) but you don't shit like that to a friend you've known for 3 weeks. Especially given what she's gone through in life I'm extra protective of her, but I think it's been to the extent that I've pushed her away
It's been almost a year since I've seen her. Sometimes I wonder how she's fairing - if she's still breaking down and destroying herself while refusing to let me help her.
Sometimes I wonder if she knows I've chosen to destroy myself every day since. If she could feel how much I've hurt, maybe it would change the decisions she's made.
I wonder if our paths will ever cross again. I still see her every day. Whether it's through a song, a place, a smell, or even a memory as I drink myself to sleep for the 43rd night in a row.
It is an absolute tragedy that one person can completely destroy any beauty you once saw in the world.
>>684889586
Ill take care of him and when he dies of natural causes ill get a rat
>>684893360
Thanks. I'm going to try to talk to her reasonably about all this. If she can't see my side of it, then I'll just have to let her go. I will also try to see her side of it. It's difficult to.bring up though because we've fought over this so much recently and we've drifted apart
>>684892553
Try moonlighting for more money?
Also as for the therapist
1) Try looking online for a therapist who is good at this
2) Tell your friends/family to give the therapist info on you (going into all detail on what they feel is relevant) and tell the threapist you have that issue
tell them they WILL need to call you on it.
>>684893126
abortion clinic
tell them youre her brother
"her boyfriend" knocked her up then fucked off
youre there for moral support
tell family youre taking her for doc appointment
>>684893554
Anon what youre telling to us tell to her
I cannot stress how important it is to play on the fact she is LITERALLY choosing his feelings over you
Shes known him 3 weeks.
Make sure she realises how hard it is for you, how protective you are of her, etc
Make sure she realises that by being kind to him in this way she is being cruel to you,
Once you explain all of this give her the option of sitting him down and telling him nothing can happen, nothing will happen, and if he doesnt stop trying he is to get out her life.
If she cant do that then its down to you whether you want to try to move past it or get over her.
I can't even relate to all these posts about how much they miss their ex, I haven't even formed such a relationship to miss.
For my whole two years at university I didn't make a single friend and just dropped out.
I feel like my few friends I have now that I moved back home don't even care about me. If I just disappeared tomorrow would it matter to them beyond a passing remark?
>>684893568
Dam son
>>684893634
Alright
just remember anon
DO NOT blame yourself for the fact your hamster isnt social
theyre just not incredibly social animals outside their own species
>>684894536
My knee jerk reaction is to make more excuses. But really the only viable one is I live in Idaho. Except for potatoes and 44 North vodka, no one has utter 'Idaho' and 'good' in the same sentence. I think Butch Otter has a website for mental health called walk-it-off.gov
>>684882351
Thanks man, I really appreciate it. You give me hope.
I recently was left after a 2 year relationship. When it happened it hurt, but I reflected, and realized I did everything I could to make it work, and keep everything stable.
Coming up on 2 weeks since a buddy of mine forcibly installed tinder on my phone and told me to jump, literally leap back into the game.
I tried it out and met this nearly dream girl of mine...the catch being she's across the ocean from me. We both caught on literally like we were soul mates. I almost forgot the 2 years I spent with someone who didn't want anything to do with me, so someone I've only known less than a week who I've "clicked" with far better and harder than anyone I've ever met. She said no one ever bought her flowers before. I ordered her flowers to her work from nearly 4000miles away. She said it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done.
But the other day she said she thinks the distance is too much. She talked about moving to the states within a year, and she's planned on visiting several times until then.
I'm at a loss. For the first time I finally believed in that drivel about soulmates, and things may have failed before they even started. I don't know, I'm probably delusional. Nothing that perfect would ever happen to me.
That's why I'm on here with you folks. I guess I just needed to vent out a little so I could sleep with a clearer head.
>>684894536
That's exactly why I felt grievance, as it felt like she was choosing his feelings over mine. The problem is he later told her he only sees her as a friend, and she believed him (she can be very naive like that), even though he tries to call her 5 times a day. Another aspect of it was she doesn't want me to dictate who her friends are, but that's not the point. She thinks that's what I'm trying to do though, because she believes what he said
>>684878321
I feel like the universe is against me and I need help. I did some things wrong that I feel god is against me for, I killed a chip munk when I was a kid and something else I won't talk about but I didn't hurt anyone. any way, It's a sub-concious thing so i can't just say everythings ok
>>684891392
You're welcome bro. Tomorrow's a brand new day.
>>684894536
Btw thanks, you've helped me see how to make it clear how its affected me
>>684895291
You're welcome bro. I started the thread for people like you. Personally I have a hard time talking IRL but I think like others it's easier to talk about stuff here. People on here have been here for me, so I wanted to return the favor.
>>684894615
University isnt about making friends
its about improving yourself.
Stop worring about making friends and start worrying about improving yourself.
Physically, mentally, and socially.
The first two lead to the third.
Go back to uni
focus on your studies
devote yourself to improving yourself mentally
join clubs, join a gym
improve yourself physically
Make your life focus on improving yourself and things will get better
its a slow, hard road
but fuck it
its worth it
also try forming relationships online (not romantic -- avoid e-relationships if at all possible)
Its good to be able to get practice talking to people, even if they have the same or similar issues as you
>>684895087
>My knee jerk reaction is to make more excuses
I think you just proved to yourself and me youre able to get passed this if you put in effort
although itll be harder irl youve just proven you can do it
Also maybe try visiting that website.
idk how helpful a government website will be but fuck it. Nothing to lose.
>>684895458
If she believes him on that then ask her why its difficult for her to tell him this?
If he gets offended she can apologise but at least this way he knows and it saves your relationship.
Tell her youre worried about him
Explain your trust issues and tell her you know she wouldnt do it ut its a deep rooted """""irrational""""""" fear of yours and it would help you a lot if she would be willing to do something that small
even if its by text.
>>684895656
I went through something similar anon
I took quite a while to work out what options I had and how it was fucking with me
figured the least I could do was help another brother out
For me it didnt work out because my ex was a manipulative whore and wasnt worth my time (I found that out afterwards) but your girl seems like a genuinely good, loyal person who cares about you.
So youll be fine
Just appeal to her emotions and feelings for you.
>>684878321
dont play limbo
way to depressive
>>684894536
>>684893329
>>684892571
>>684892547
>>684892273
Thank you all for talking to me. I didn't want to be a little bitch about it and cry over it. Thank you all for taking the time to listen
>>684895611
I cannot stress this enough: /b/ can never help you with sub conscious issues
Im going to advise you to get mental help through a therapist.
They can help you.
If you believe God is against you go to the Church, confess your sins in front of God, pray for forgiveness.
>>684893360
Get with someone else
is the average adult happy with their lives or just pretending to be?
as I get older the latter seems more and more likely
>>684878321
I feel pretty lost. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to balance two or three jobs and this upcoming fall semester, while saving for a car and a new place to live.
Home situation is quite uncomfortable. Work is okay, and while I make shitty money for now, I appreciate having jobs.
I feel like I should be much more productive and positive with my life, for myself, and for my mom. I want to take us out of this bad home environment and provide comfort, security and privacy for the woman who sacrifices a lot and works hard to make sure I'm good. It eats away at me often knowing that mom deserves a better standard of living, and that it is my duty as a son to assist or provide if need be, yet I'm unable to do so.
I'm almost always having an anxiety attack at varying levels of intensity, and my visible nervousness and low self-esteem are the reason for it. It affects my work and relationships.
How's your life going?
>>684896555
Anon we're all family on here.
We could be acting like cunts to each other in one thread then could be best friends in the next. Its the best part about this.
We all love and hate everyone because we are all no one to anyone else.
We dont even have IDs on /b/ for individual threads.
The anonymity is honestly incredible
>>684896301
She is a great girl. I was bf, and for once I met a girl who I wanted to do right by for purely alturistic reasons. We've been through so much together and I'll be damned if it ends cause of that little chubby faggot
Dear PTSD,
Fuck you, I don't want you around anymore...
>>684896949
I completely agree.
>>684896301
The website thing was acrually a joke :/
In agricultural states like Idaho, there's onlh three solutions in the mind of people who see someone with a mental issue:
1) just snap out of it (side note, I fucking hate that so much)
2) Clearly, you're not working hard enough, get back to fucking work
3) Clearly you're not attending church often enough, you fucking sinner.
So social support is out the window.
I suppose I would be a liar if I said I haven't made any progress in my condition. I have made some adjustments for the better despite having to move back in with my parents recently at 27, but it doesn't feel like enough. It still hurts and I still can't seem to let anyone in, not for a lack of interest from others. I'm smart as fuck, and if I knew what I needed to stop this shite, I'd have it already.
>>684896949
This
>>684896555
Your welcome (and nice trips). The feels threads can be a nice break from the norm.
>>684897355
Love you guys
>>684885070
Ayyy kina grannis is my shit lowkey
gotta love, never sleeping at night, every time you close your eyes you see those horrible images again and again and again..
as i type this, all i hear are the sounds of explosions and gunfire..
>>684896301
>University isnt about making friends
>its about improving yourself.
What a load of shit, networking is the most important part of school next to getting a degree
i had absolutely no desire to do my homework. i was taking easy classes that contributed nothing to my major so i wouldnt lose my dosh scholarship and i still couldnt manage that. I did two clubs and didnt go regularly enough to really get involved and ended up not participating in either after long
I have a couple of irc channels i idle in, and thats a majority of what I ever do. Actually, when I was taking russian, those 4 hours a week were more interpersonal time than the rest, combined. I would have random fragments of russian go through my head just walking around
>>684897476
Back at you anon
>>684879051
Fuck your coworkers. Theyre just dicks cause their own lives suck so they need to take it out on others to make their lives seem better.
>>684896897
Mid life crises come for a lot of men anon
My theory on this is its because they finally realise they lack purpose.
Youve came to this conclusion early
So work to find something worth devoting your life to.
Thats how to overcome it.
Make yourself a purpose in a world where most men lack one.
>>684896920
You're a good person anon.
Take things slowly.
Maybe try cutting down the work you do for now until you get passed the fall semester
Your mother loves you and you will NOT help her by fucking your head up. She wants whats best for you.
Remember this.
If you fuck yourself up to help her you are NOT helping her.
>>684897084
Thats the spirit anon.
Go get her back tomorrow.
Send her a text, arrange a meeting
and BE CALM.
We all believe in you lad.
>>684897237
It sounds hard anon but keep at it.
Remember nothing worthwhile is easy, and improving yourself is one of the most worthwhile and noble goals of all.
Stick at it.
"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
It takes effort to control your mind, but you can do it.
>>684897935
>networking is the most important part of school next to getting a degree
Networking = making friends now?
Okay lad.
>>684897858
Thank you for bearing that for us.
We appreciate your sacrifice more than you can imagine.
Please get yourself help. You deserve it.
>>684898405
>Networking = making friends now?
>Okay lad.
What the hell else is it? making acquaintances? same shit
>>684898405
>>684896920
Thanks anon
>>684898405
Haha it's 5 am here. I'll come and post later today at like midnight GMT and let you guys know how it goes. You might not be interested but I feel like I owe it to you guys after your help
>>684898405
I am just so tired, my soul is just so, so tired.....thank you for your words
I'm in a shitty relationship.
The last time I tried to end things, he threatened suicide so I stayed out of pity.
I'm completely infatuated with someone who I can't have, and that I hardly know.
What should I do?
>>684898888
Youre from the UK as well anon?
Im from Scotland. Good luck.
>>684898863
>What the hell else is it? making acquaintances? same shit
That anon was talking about strong relationships and he dropped out of uni after failing to make them for 2 years
Friendship has a level of trust and connection that acquaintances dont
>>684898884
I know it wasnt much but slow things down
dont be in too much of a rush to get where youre going
enjoy the time you spend with your mother getting there
>>684898959
I meant every word anon
Please get help. Im being serious when I say you do deserve it.
>>684897355
Yeah this is super fucking tender. I like it. None of that Spider-Man shit or weird nigger shoutings. Just feels and people talking. I love it.
>>684899357
>That anon was talking about strong relationships and he dropped out of uni after failing to make them for 2 years
>Friendship has a level of trust and connection that acquaintances dont
that guy was me and i made neither
>>684899357
Yh London fag here. I need to get this shit sorted and concentrate on uni finals
>>684899293
>The last time I tried to end things, he threatened suicide so I stayed out of pity.
Break up, then phone his closest friend or family member and make sure they go to see him immediately.
Explain the full thing
hes probably bullshiting but it removes risk of that happening
>'m completely infatuated with someone who I can't have, and that I hardly know.
break off contact, delete on social media, get over him
>>684899468
Talk to someone.
Go back to uni with something youre halfway passionate about
Maybe try studying a language
And this time talk to people, exchange numbers.
failing school, afraid of my shitty future
I'm halfway through uni, and among other things I'm slowly coming to realize that the only friends I've made thus far are just attention whores. I feel like I'm more of a tally mark on whatever popularity meter they use to validate themselves than a friend.
Has anyone else ever been here? How did you overcome and learn to make, recognize, and keep real friends?
>>684899847
Which level of education are you doing right now anon?
>>684899945
Highschool but I've always failed in school
>inb4 underage b&
>>684899512
yeah you do mate
Im just outside Glasgow
Ill come back around midnight tonight and look for your thread.
Go get some sleep
>>684900175
What are your aspirations? Do you want to go to uni or get a job afterwards
OP here, just wanted to let you guys know I'm heading to bed but thank you for making this thread a success. And to everyone that talked about their situation, I genuinely wish you the best. I hope everything turns out okay. And thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone.
>>684900276
I honestly don't know anon I feel like it's too late
>>684899847
be calm, Brother. your life is not shitty, your life is beautiful and perfect and uniquely yours, you walk and breathe on this earth for a reason. you must dig deep and find it. find your place..
be moral, kind, loving, compassionate, tough but understanding, be charitable towards your fellow man, your life is not over yet and all you have to do is find your purpose. I love you and wish you the best of luck. :)
>>684900309
love you anon
>>684878321
I no longer worry about yesterday. I did for so long it consumed me and paralyzed my life. Now, when the past is past, it's just behind me and that's it. You can never fully understand it or change it, so it doesn't serve you well to obsess over it. Yesterday and before is history few will remember and fewer will remember your way. Every morning is a new start on a fresh future where nothing that came before matters whatsoever.
Just move on, and live today, for tomorrow.
>>684900309
You're never alone anon. Don't you ever forget that.
>>684900309
goodnight anon, thanks for the support
>>684900408
Don't worry man. Grades really aren't the be all and end all. You can get a job or apprenticeship after and head down that route. Do you have friends?
>>684900408
are you a senior?
Decided to ask a girl that I been think of for a while to a date today, found out she has a girl friend.....
>>684900816
No but I will most likely spend my senior year in a continuation school
>>684900742
Yeah I have a good amount of friends I guess
>>684900309
thanks OP
I come here looking for these threads to talk to people but Ive never started one myself
thanks a lot, really.
Also to the soldier, to the guy with mental issues, and the guy who dropped out of uni
I wish you guys the best of luck
Im also heading to bed now.
Have a good night and I wish you the best of luck with all of lifes problems.
We're all strong enough to make it.
and everyone here believes in you.
Good night anons.
My grlfriend its hanging out with my best friend, but she doesn't know that i know everything, now i feel like the person that everyone replaces after a short time.
>>684901116
good night, anon!
>>684901100
Are you close with them?
>>684899753
I'm not in a position where I'm able to cut off contact with the man I'm infatuated with without making a drastic and unnecessary decision.
I am waiting for the right time to end things with my bf (we live together). Last time I broke up with him he went insane.... Stole my belongings from me as a way to assert control over me ( I had to contact him to get my things back).
>>684901460
Only with 2 of them
I'm as paranoid as can be and can't seem to see the good in things. I always overthink situations in the most negative way possible. I don't know how to change my mindset
I dont know what to do with my life, honestly.
I dont like anything, im going to quit university and i dont know what to do from now on. I have considered suicide, and i would be fine with it, but i dont want to be a problem to my family or friends.
I would like to get a job or something, so that i could pay my own things and stop relying on my father.
I just dont know what to do guys, this society demands you to study a fucking lot. Why would i have to live doing things i dont like? I dont feel free at all if you ask me.
I just dont know
>I live a girl whos moving provinces away.
>Dads a policeman and Christian.
> im not religious
>Overprotective as fuck (couldnt go on the internet alone until she was 16).
I have a month to tell her
Kill me now
>>684901555
Seriously don't worry if you flunk high school. Just buckle down and study hard while you're there, but remember there are lots of things in life other than school
>>684901744
I am often so socially awkward that I still think about 5 minute interactions I've had with people 15 years later...wondering if i was weird or awkward or if i looked stupid, ect..
I overthink random events to the point of anxiety, things as mundane as ordering coffee.
I am here for you, anon, and i feel you..
>>684901848
Do it anon don't let her get away like I did, you got this /b/ro trust me :)
>>684898888
boiiii!8
>>684901874
Thanks for being there for me anon gonna take your advice and see how it goes
>>684878321
I hate myself so much. I don't know why I can't be happy, I literally have everything I want and I keep trying to throw it all away. I don't know why I can't be happy. I hope to die in my sleep every fucking night.
>>684901800
The answer to that is a hard one...
school doesn't make you who you are, get through it if you must and find your path. take technical training instead if you must... your future is not written yet. you can do it, you will make it. just have faith in YOU.
>>684902048
I thought this thread woild 404 but i have more problems
> shes currently dating one of my friends (but fuck him right)
>Shes going to try long distance
> kek
I ha ent found time where her boyfriend isnt glued to her
And isnt telling someone over text a pussy move?
>>684902446
It can be a pussy move but it's better than never telling her man also can you settle for long distance?
i don't really expect much. i just need somewhere to rant.
my bipolar is getting worse. it's getting so so much worse. i'm having mood swings every two hours compared to the original every other day. i fucking hate myself. when i get angry i ruin everything, and i can't stop it. i can't control my emotions. someone cursed me out in class and humiliated me during a time when i got particularly angry. it's ruining everything for me. i can't trust therapists because i know they don't fucking care about my problems. i don't want to pour my heart out to someone who will never listen and will forget about me once they get their paycheck. how am i supposed to get medication by saying "hey, i have bipolar disorder. give me pills."
i don't know what to do anymore.
>>684902426
I appreciate that dude, for real. You know, i've been thinking about all this shit alone for months, but i havent told anyone, just a close friend.
I want to do what i want, as long as i dont hurt anyone. I cant be a lazy ass 24/7, thats obvious, but as you said, studying doesnt make you who you are.
I'm going to talk about this with my family and see how they react. Maybe we'll find a solution together.
Thank you anon.
>>684902683
I definitely could do long distance
> tfw im pretty much doing it right now
>>684901154
Talk to me anon.
Are you still together with her? What happened?
I hate a bit these threads, because when I tell about my problems here people say "go and an hero" or "it's your fault" or "lol" and stuff as that without even knowing me, but it gives me a little solace to see at least other people here get kidness.
Now I'm leaving before being insulted, enjoyed a bit of your conversations here though guys, as always. :)
>>684902026
I have severe anxiety too over the stupidest little shit to the point of almost puking. It gets really annoying. I tell myself things and convince myself they are true when usually its not
>>684902878
Good night anon
>>684902878
Oh, and yeah, loneliness is killing me. It literally hurts. Maybe I extrapolate that here and that's why I'm hated anyway.
>>684902953
Thank you, dear anon. Good luck and prosper to you.
>>684902839
Then go for it anon I was always way too beta to talk to the girls I liked and it ended up hurting me more than a rejection ever would
>>684902878
/b/ is sometimes kind, anon. Good night
I hate myself.
I have everything I could ever want and more, and I'm still not happy. The only things that genuinely make me happy are my family and fucking fictional characters. I don't think I've ever faked as many laughs and smiles as I have these past few months. I don't even know what's wrong with me.
>>684903051
Will do only problem
> shes still dating the tard
>>684902924
I fucked my life and I'm a loser, but before I leave (I'm >>684902878) please try to do the following, it may help you: work out.
I have the feeling if I had started working out by my teenage days instead of now at 31yo, my life would have been much better. It's amazing what this can do to you.
Good nite guises.
>>684902778
brother, you got this.
there is no mold you HAVE to follow, just find your happiness.
this is a hard pill to swallow be me as well. i am fighting it everyday, just know you aren't alone, your family loves you and you are going to make it through this..you are in charge
>>684903256
Thank you and goodnight anon. This thread reminds me there are people who aren't just all out for themselves
not asking for advice but
today i almost choked on my food and i was embarrassed and i apologized for CHOKING
it really shows how my anxiety is affecting me
>>684903247
If you talk to her she might leave him behind since she's moving the tard will most likely not settle for long distance since you said he's always glued to her
>>684903611
Good point anon
>>684903505
gotta love being socially awkward..
>>684903611
Got a screenshot here one sec
>>684903505
There is no need to be anxious about choking or be embarrassed by it. Some things are unavoidable and something like that should not require an apology. It might be hard hearing someone tell you to not be anxious about little things but just know people don't care as much as you think they do when it comes to little incidents like that.
>>684902778
and you are welcome...you'll be alright, kid...:)
i watch a video the other day were a guy talked to his dead thread i cant find it
>>684890678
>>684891029
>>684892890
I know this is late but thanks /b/ros for being there. Good night all
>>684903505
The other day I couldn't even order a pizza I feel you man
>>684903935
I'm always anxious af ordering shit on the phone. Just the thought of calling in though. I'm fine once I get on the phone with someone
>>684903611
>>684903935
like i said earlier, i get all discombobulated just trying to order coffee...i hate it...I went from being a soldier to being afraid of human interaction
>>684903888
i have trips help me find it
I'm the anon from a day or two ago, who said he was going to post a few pics and then drive out to a field and slash himself to death. I may not have said anything, but I stayed and lurked, to see if anyone would care. Many of you said very kind things, and begged me not to go. I didn't. I stayed until the thread 404'd, and then further. I'm still here today because of you anons. So, thank you all, and no matter who you are, what you look like, I love you.
I fucked the girl who is now my son's girlfriend
What do?
>>684884345
the best thing to do is just try to learn as much as possible. anything.
>>684904215
help
>>684904399
stop interrupting honest conversation with your obvious 14 year old post...
>>684888025
Holy shit. That relationship part is my exact thing too. I hope you improve anon
>>684904501
help
>>684904235
we got you brother...
Stopping by to say I love you all
>>684900644
Pic related
>>684888758
maybe the sons just an asshole
maybe you're the son
maybe you're the asshole
lmao im high af
Im fucking terrified of what my future is. Im 18 and finishing high school in a week by the skin of my teeth. I have no plans for anything but if I have to be with my dad any longer I'm gonna fucking kill my self.
>>684905088
thank you, love you too. have a good day..
>>684904159
Proud of you anon, now it just comes down to the tard
>>684905206
do what I dude, go to a technical college, and get a fucking job and be outtie..
>>684905302
The hard part
>>684900309
fuck off faggot i hope u choke in ur sleep
>>684905206
Go to at least a comm college and get a dorm. Also push for a retail job.
Not really "my" issue but I need advice. I'm on my phone and the thread might die before I could greentext so tldr - I'm 20 and my nephew is eight. My brother (his dad) died four years ago so he is just with his mother now. The problem is, she is a psycho sjw. She is raising him in "gender neutrality" sense, which pretty much means he gets dressed as a girl. She also gets pissed at him for saying stuff she doesn't like, most of which is trivial. I've seen her spank him and send him to timeout, but according to him she has also slapped him and spanked him excessively. I have only seen the aftermath, so take that with a grain of salt. I watch him often and he is a good kid, but he is miserable because of his mom. I don't want to get the authorities involved because at least now he has me, I don't know what would happen to him if cps did get involved.
I this is serious and a bummer to talk about, but I know my /b/ros can help me out.
>>684905382
How would i even start. I have no money for college and gas and shit :(
It's funny /b/...
I tell myself I'm not effected by it
I tell myself I've moved on
So much so that I almost believe it
Then I wake up alone
I get out of bed alone
I get ready for work alone
I go to bed alone, and fall asleep alone
I do this everyday
And I pretend to be happy through all of it
I was raised to be independent
Raised to be strong
To survive
But after awhile that strength fades
I become weak
I feel the need for company
The loose the desire to live
I get in my car
I put on some music
and no matter what song it is
I can only think of her
She creeps back into my mind
She's like a tumor that is just slowly killing me from the inside
And there's not a damn thing in this world that will ever change that
But like I said before
I'm a survivor
Even when I really don't want to be
Stuck between staying "friends" with a girl I'm in love with, or chancing the relationship and possibly being removed from her life in total. Advice?
>>684905606
Im sorta in the same situation. I would say just go for it
>>684905576
then get a job and earn it first, hard work builds character. you'll find yourself and find your path brother... first you must earn it. you'll be ok, you'll find your path,you'll find your way. just breathe and now it will come... you are only 18 and have alot of awesome times ahead..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVXvKC0boQg
I'm too much of a bitch to talk to a girl I've been in school with for an entire semester. Last week before I never see her again.
>>684905606
pussy betafag ull never get anywhere in life let alone with ur friend who dont give a shit about u
>>684905598
Cultivate meditation, and you'll never be lonely again
>>684905430
Well i'm gonna head to bed, wish the best for you anon
>>684906111
trips of truth
Got into the "art school of my dreamzZzz," became severely depressed/anxious, eventually ended up in psych ward for a night, put on antidepressants, but stopped taking them for about a week now, and don't know how much longer I can be here aka want to drop the fuck out because the last 2 years here have been hell for a multitude of reasons (will go into detail if needed). I've realized that I want to make a huge change, one that feels more in my control art/message/whatever the fuck wise and move to Berlin to make music/dj/designs (cliche as fuck, I know) but I have no clue what the smartest and lasting way to move there is. I know it's going to be the biggest challenge of my life (aside from this depression thats been building for probably my whole life due to family bs, a whole other fucking novel of a story...), but this is one of the only things that is actually making me get through each day aside from occasional substances and the one friend I have. This is a rambled clusterfuck of a post that is extremely vague so TLDR; Severely depressed, want to start over in Berlin to pursue music/art but don't know the best way how.
>>684906158
Thanks anon. Good night
the lights are fading, and my vision is growing weary. The sound is fading and soon, all there will be is darkness and silence..but to be honest, I won't really know the difference anyway..
>>684906111
>>684906184
Samefag.
>>684878321
I have a thing for this girl I've been friends with for a bout a year.
It ain't anything serious or nothing, I just thought it be cool to get with her or some shit. Y'all got any thoughts?
Stay positive guys it gets better
had a dream where I hugged my friend. in my dream i told her to not be sad and that i loved her. she died about 4 years ago because of me.
in that dream i sat down after she'd gone and thought about how depressed i am.
woke up and cried for the first time in a while. bought a pack of cigarettes and now im sitting outside, feeling.. empty.
i could feel her arms when she hugged me
>>684906111
fuck you
>>684905894
I live in the middle of butt fuck texas. I work part time at a flower shop for an old lady but I have to pay my phone bill and car ensurance so I usually only have $30 a week for everything else.
>>684906410
how is it your fault?
>>684906482
find a new job and keep at it, no one owes you anything but you...work and save and soon you'll get to where you need to be. life is hard. but you'll make it..really :)
i stay up all night every night just listening to music so i can sleep in all day and avoid my parents. i have nothing else to do. i've applied to jobs and am just waiting for a bite.
any suggestions on things to occupy myself with during the night to fend off the mental illness? most games bore me
>>684906120
I don't understand...
If you're talking about a Tulpa I've tried
I really love the idea...
I don't know how to go about it
I'mean afraid to fail, and I've failed so many times in my life already... I don't want to make something wrong and have it live in agony
I suffer
I don't want to make something else suffer as well
>>684879368
this
>>684906830
Workout in your room
>>684905606
Go for it anon. No matter the outcome, you can at least say you tried.
Nothings worse than the feeling of regret over an opportunity missed.
>>684906754
Thanks anon gonna beat off and go to bed.
>>684906569
everyone always says you should never think it's your fault when someone kills themselves. i've never understood how pretending (in the cases where it IS your fault), or lying to yourself/others is the right thing to do.
i quite literally made a yes/no decision. she asked if she could spend the night at my place. i said no. i thought it was the right thing to do at the time. she was drunk and killed herself that night. i found her after an hour.
>>684906830
Pick up drawing. Im not kidding its fun as fuck.
>>684907281
enjoy
>>684907027
nothing that makes noise
>>684907462
i have no imagination and drawing from references bores me
>>684907354
a persons choices aren't your fault..
>>684907354
she was one of the very, VERY few people i liked. she was nice to me, at least so i believe.
>>684907832
she was drunk and she came to me. i shouldve taken care of her.
>>684907632
Hmmm...u like vidya games?
>>684907632
You could try making youre own music
>>684908119
Rest in peace grammar
Bumperino
I met a good girl that makes me happy. First woman that I haven't been with off tinder in a year and a half. She surprised me on Sunday while I was sleeping, apparently I was trying to get her clothes off as soon as I saw her on my bed. We got into an argument about something else. She left. Freaked out the last few days and my overthinking got the best of me. Saw her at work and was freaking out, everyone could tell. We talked about what happened on Sunday and it made me feel worse. Smoked a cigarette for the first time, to cope. Everyone at work just told me to not care and don't give her power.(good advice for anyone who is looking). Walked to the men's bathroom and she walked in the family's bathroom. I followed her and she placed her head on my chest. I'm happy with her.
>>684906951
Read up on mindful meditation. I don't have the will to lay out the wonderful and cathartic effect it has, but believe me, if you make it a habit, it WILL help you
Does everyone have creativity? I feel like I am not creative at all and its really demotivating..
>>684908119
failing as a musician is why i'm depressed, trying to avoid thinking about it at all costs
>>684909066
Shit sorry anon
>>684906951
>>684908993
And you cannot possibly fail meditation, it is the most simple and basic thing you can perform, and there is no failure state. Meditation can be used whenever, wherever and for any amount of time you wish
I'm lost. I feel like I've wasted the past few years of my life in college. I nearly attempted suicide once and took the quarter off to try to take care of things. Therapy. Medication. Partial hospitalization. It didn't end up doing anything. So I just tried hanging out with friends and seeing people. And then just like that I was back in school.
I still feel lost. I feel like I can't connect with people. I feel stuck. Career wise who knows what's going to happen. School is whatever. Waking up and just being out--I can't stand it.
I was at this camping trip with this student group or whatever this past weekend. Your typical cheesy bonding shit but I tried. They have the cliche small circle of people just talking about "deep" stuff. The question was about "something that has changed you". I give a cliff notes version of what's being going on (even more vague than what I say now). And it was just like all the other times I've done it--group therapy, friends, significant others--where I just felt even more disconnected from everyone. Everyone else has their own problems, their own traumatic experiences--as expected. But whereas these people seem to feel connected with each other, I just feel even more lost and just
I don't know.
I remember another Anon here told me to just keep doing things. Stop trying to think. Don't think. Do.
I don't know why it is so difficult. I thought I'd gotten past it feeling like I have to lift the weight of the world to get out of bed. I thought I'd gotten past feeling like tearing my own skin off and drowning in just raw feeling. I thought I'd gotten past wishing I could feel something again.
I know everyone's at a different point in their respective lives and journeys. Some people are closer to self discovery than others. Some people take off sprinting and some people are finding their pace.
I just don't think I ever left the starting line.
>>684882301
I'm not giving up on any of you.
This isn't how your story ends.
You aren't broken.
You just lost the light.
That light. You know which one.
It might've been a plan for the future.
It might've been an unwavering hope that things would just... fall into place.
It might've been a lover, whose embrace provided refuge from the unrelenting storm we call "Life."
For me, it's been all of those things at one time or another.
Know that many lights exist, another will come.
But not on it's own.
You have to find it within.
It has to be you.
I want my /b/ros to heal. Good night every one.
>Be me
>Finally find my dream job, move across the country 1000km's away from my girlfriend and friends.
>Do the long distance thing, but my job consumes me and I start avoiding her.
>6 months in I literally burn out from over working and have close to a nervous break down
>Don't sleep , don't eat
>Get prescribed antidepressants for the anxiety
>Feel like I'm weak and a failure. Don't tell my girlfriend about me crying my self to sleep every night. Start drinking heavily when taking the medication to take the edge off it.
>I still don't tell my girlfriend for weeks. I do this to protect my girlfriend. So she doesn't have to worry about me
>I finally tell her, she is so mad at for not feeling like I'm not trusting her.
>"A-a-anon if you can't tell me this and then what else are you hiding from me."
>My heart sinks, anxiety has destroyed me and the only thing that I had left that make me happy isn't talking to me.
>Consider just walking away from everything, but can't even go to the store to purchase food.
I guess you can say things are well
>>684909634
Hey...
I do not know if this will help. But I am a junior in college. I tried killing myself in front of my girlfriend. The worse part is that I do not remember anything only blacking back in with 4 police officers there to haul me off. I never knew I was capable of such madness. It was my own doing.
In the second darkest hour of my life I realize that the only thing that gets me off of my feet is the burning hatred for my father. He abused me and my mom for years but she was to nice to kick him to the curb because he got a useless degree and the divorce completely broke him as a man. Hatred is the only thing that has powered me through life. When my mind and body fails me the rage consumes me and I keep pushing forward. I lied to myself for so long about numerous things. Dont lie to yourself. Do not lie to other people. You are only making it worse. There is nothing wrong with being wounded.
>>684910905
That is the problem with depression is that the hope for finding the light is gone.
