>be me
>having sex with this qt girl I met on the bus
>took her out to apple bees, paid, brought her back and watched tv
>eventually start talking about sexual encounters
>she says she is a "squirter"
>tell her I could make her gush like old faithful
>she's game
>start fucking
>she's on top of me riding my dick
>suddenly stops and pulls my dick out
>she starts PISSING ON ME
>"WHAT THE FUCK"
>she is moaning and shit, but I know it's piss. It's fucking stained yellow and feels warm like piss
>she gets off of me
>run into the bathroom and start the shower
>jump in socks still on
>get out, she's gone
>have to put bedding in the washer
>now 11:38 at night
>can't sleep yet because all of my bedding is in the fucking washer/dryer
>only own one blanket, big green microfiber one that takes about 2 hours to dry, still in the washer
Tl:Dr what should I do for the next 3 hours or so until all my bedding is clean?
>pic unrelated
>it's not cp just coincidentally looks like cp
>>684756298
you met a girl on the bus? you actually talked to her and she replied? is she a whore? a hooker? what kind of girl lets herself get picked up on a bus?
>>684756298
do what everyone else does, stare at traps and or ponies and put things into your anus while eating cheetos and drinking MTN.Dew and then play some Call of Duty.
>>684756548
>>684756429
Long story short I met her on the bus. she was wearing this Tshirt with a zombie on it, so I thought to myself "hey, she's pretty cute. I could use that shirt to open conversation"
We talked for a long time and before I got off I gave her my number and told her to call me if she ever wanted to hang out or anything. We kind of became friends, and a few days ago I asked her if she wanted to go out to eat.
>>684756298
I don't see why it's a bad thing
>>684756816
weird. but good for you for pulling that off. i would guess that a public bus is probably one of the toughest places to pick up some ass
>>684756298
>>it's not cp
I'm out of this thread then
>>684756548
>be me
>560 lb alpha male mostly muscle (treetrunk legs)
>sitting at my computer performing some completely healthy, normal, and not gay anal masturbation while eating cheezy poofs I bought at Kroger's, just like my main man cartman
>grab handful of cheezy poofs and my dragon dildo
>eat the poofs and then insert dragon dildo
>immediate burning as it slides in and out
>fucking cheese dust all over it
>asshole is now stained an orange color
Never again.
>>684756298
uhm, you know all "squirt" is piss right? its like 90% piss and 10% some other shit. Not saying its okay for her to piss on you just maybe be a bit more weary in the future
>>684757144
Well you don't really get on the bus to pick up ass and if you do manage she'll probably end up pissing on you so I would recommend against it.
>>684757464
>she'll probably end up pissing on you
>>684756298
um hello sauce pls hello
>>684757330
Doesn't smell like piss though. My wife's is always clear and isn't acidic. Gusher.
>>684756298
Not as bad as the cream cheese shit that usually comes out during sex. I'm constantly grabbing toilet paper and wiping my balls with almost every woman I bang.
>>684758208
>what the fuck
thats a yeast infection. that white shit is a bunch of yeast
>>684758014
i've actually tried researching this online, and scientists don't actually understand how female ejaculation happens or the exact path it takes out of the body
>>684758316
You virgin...
>>684757904
emily bloom, shame she doesnt take dick :/
>>684758316
Nonono. I dated a chick who got a yeast infection. this shit isn't from a yeast infection. It's just this shit that coats the inside of the vagina.
Some woman excrete more of it than others, but it's always really annoying.
>>684758433
Chkd
And scientists figures it out..it's piss.
>>684758522
And ruin that perfect pussy and ass? Hell no.
>>684758635
"piss" implies it comes from the bladder, not just its chemical makeup.
>>684756298
who is it then?
>>684758014
Then she stays hydrated
>>684758635
That was one study.
MODS
>>684758014
Probably because she drinks a tonne of water.
Doesn't feel like peeing when I squirt. And I'm dead scared of peeing during sex, I always stop when it feels like that, but squirting is completely different. I never thought I could do it but it only happens with a really specific g-spot stimulating glass dildo I have. It feels like a regular orgasm but with a fucking mess of a soak to deal with instead of just the nice feels.
But anyway that's just one anecdote to add to the pile.
>>684763291
This.,
>>684763291
why do you use a dildo if you are female? you could land tons of cock 24/7
>>684756298
uh mods?
>>684756298
Hmm.. tomorrow check for AIDS
>>684756298
>you thought squirt was something else
>it literally comes out of the urethra
>people that believe in squirt think a tiny gland smaller than the clit contribute over 80% of the liquid secreted
>there is no reservoir for any sizable amount of liquid, other than the bladder, in the vagina
>tfw people still think squirt isn't piss
In a world where science and free information exist, who knew that people could be so willfully ignorant?
>>684764757
>In a world where science and free information exist, who knew that people could be so willfully ignorant?
about sex?
lol
its the dark fucking ages
>>684756298
way to over react
you could be having a post-piss warm cuddle why the drier does its magic fucking idiot with a girl who likes to fuck
>>684764440
Dildos are fun for both when the guy is spent and I'm still going.
Did you know that I can create clay with my ass, OP? It's not shit, though. Promise. You can trust me. I'm a guy on the internet. I know what I'm talking about. Other people believe me too, so that settles it. I'm right.
>>684756298
MODS
>>684765020
I mean, it can't be shit. I play with it all the time. I wouldn't play with shit! lol that's disgusting! This is clay we're talking about.
>>684765088
shes a fucking well known porn model faggot
>>684765199
Exactly. I want MODS to delete this stupid fucking thread.
>>684757330
umm no, squirting can happen after she has pissed and is empty, unless her body can metabolize 0 oz of water to about 2 cups of piss in 30 min-an hr
>>684758635
But it contains no urea. Piss has urea.
>>684765199
Who? I don't recognize her.
>cp
>mods
She's 22 and has been posing nude for like 3 years.
>>684756429
Not that Anon but I lost my virginity to some cute punker chick I met on the bus
>>684766117
OH SHIT she does a hegre orgasm massage vid?
>>684756298
lol, idiot. Isnt your actual mattress ruined by piss now though? Was it worth it? Fucking quality mattress can be expensive.
>>684756971
This. I like being peed on. What's wrong with you weirdo
>>684766547
>a hegre orgasm massage vid
she was like one of the biggest hegre models for a couple years. She stopped a little while ago. She's got a dozen or so vids with them.
>>684764440
Cause aids. And I'm not a fucking whore
>>684765014
Can you post a pic of your dildo? WanTed to try with gf
>>684767177
sex doesnt make you a whore.
making him pay for dinner does.
>>684757241
decent kek
>>684757330
google: skene gland
dumb uneducated faggot
>>684756298
>and feels warm like piss
Did you expect it to feel like a cool refreshing sports drink or some shit? What the fuck is wrong with you.
>>684767887
oh SNAP
OH NO HE DI INT
>>684768086
>muh electrolytes
>>684767474
http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/g-spot/amethyst
I got the blue one! :3
I don't squirt every time with this. I guess it depends on how it's thrusted. I was never specifically trying to squirt, it just sorta happened a few times. Guys and their weird obsession with squirting...
>>684768980
tits with timestamp or you aren't a female
>>684769055
dick with timestamp or you're a faggot :3
>>684769323
>show dick
>or else you're a faggot
I'm pretty sure you got it backwards mcQueer
>>684756816
Senpai, How to hold a conversw with a girl?
>>684756429
How do you think normal people meet females?
My missus works at a pub I stopped in after work once, I got talking to her, and asked if she'd like a drink when she finished. We fucked like an hour later.
>>684769323
Thanks!
>>684769389
Walk up to her and say EY BITCH LEMME GET DAT PUSSAY
Oh, wait, did you mean for non-niggers?
Try not acting like you spend your free time on an outer mongolian woodcut appreciation subreddit.
>>684756298
Mods????
>>684766440
Did she piss on you too?
>>684767177
>not a whore
>shoving plastic into your oussy repeatedly until climax
No you're right, not a whore, just a fucking idiot. Enjoy you're pussy cancer faggot. My dick won't give you cancer, dead dinosaurs will. You think you're so fucking "cool" and wouldn't fuck me bc of my AIDS, but you'll fuck animals? Dinosaurs are animals idiot, and plastic is made from dinosaur bones. This is why I need MRA's. Fucking psychotic dinosaur corpse raping moron bitches running scared from a little AIDS dick. Fucking stupid shit right here. Besides if you let me fuck you in the ass you can't get AIDS. Get educated you ignorant princess bitch.
>pic related
>>684769926
if you'd been reading this thread, lurking like a good little boy, then you'd have known that this issue was already answered, you fucking idiot.
now fuck off my /b.
>>684770275
Holy shit, anon. You really told her off. Man, I wish I had that kind of balls.
>>684770275
Man, you're so cool you should leave 4chins. We don't deserve so much edge.
>>684770423
>>684770573
Thanks guys I'm really digging the support structure of b. I'm thinking of starting a he-man-woman haters club thread next week when I get my social security check in the mail
>>684756298
>fucks a female
i am surprised you didnt get shit on
![womunwelcome[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/kfbf6zz.jpg "womunwelcome[1].jpg")
>>684770705
>>684770757
because fucking a man reduces the chances right? because men have a hold to fuck other than their asses
>>684770275
>plastic is made from dinosaur bones
the rest if your post was pretty amazing, too, but that line stood out as some god-tier logical fallacy thinking, dude. nicely done!
>>684770930
let's just imagine he said dinosaur boneRs, and it's even better
>>684756548
Do you have any paperwork w/ an upcoming deadline (tax shit, work for uni/job, bills that can be paid online,etc.)? Do what i do and go between that and here.
>>684770423
>>684770573
Obvious samefag.
....Samecunt.
>>684771004
kek
Now thats a high rez asshole
>>684771284
Actually, you're just fucking retarded
>>684766916
Dat resolution, tho. I can see her goddamn skin cells.
>>684771325
Idk man, I've seen higher res with less pixelation
>>684771325
>>684771427
i'm surprised you can see anything through all that vape smoke.
So let me get this straight: she admits to being a squirter, you says you can make her squirt, she's up for it... and you didn't put down a couple towels, maybe even a plastic trash bag underneath?
Did it not occur to you that in one fashion or another there would be copious amounts of liquid being released during your sexual escapade?
>>684766916
I'm going to tempt fate and save this. May God bless my potato of a laptop.
Here's something for trading.
>>684771538
Fuck me dead.
THATS A HIGH REZ ASSHOLE.
Can anyone best this?
>>684771378
different devices, i don't give a fuck. Wrote in the same style, used the same euphemism, 92 replies and 46 posters. Y'all samefagging
>>684771730
>posting on image board without contributing images
>complaining about samefagging
Oh you. Bless your heart.
>>684771730
No I'm not. I only go on /b/ with my laptop, which I'm currently using. dumb fucking asshole. Maybe there just happens to be multiple sarcastic people on this thread? it's 4chins you fucking nigger
>>684771912
but, I used an image the first time?
>>684771939
at 4 AM? No. Lying faggot.
>>684772024
2 AM where I am faggot. And if I were same fagging then I would have posted 'proof' of the other post by now
Idk wtf yall are arguing about , I just wanna know what this bitches name is so I can go jack off too her pics and go to sleep , she's sexy Af , she has a profile on the app called meowchat and doesn't post her name (I know , it's probably a fake profile) but still ....
>>684772179
Someone posted about it in another thread. Too bad you aren't there as well
Looks like someone still wets the bed huh OP? Tryna fabricate a story to cover it up
>>684772153
waste of time when you can just claim it, nignog
>>684772396
You're a waste of time you fucking retard. I tried to show you that I'm not samefagging. suck a dick and get on with your life
>>684772024
>continuing to shît post without contributing
ok faggot. Reddit is waiting if you've lost the ability to upload, walls of text aren welcome there with open assholes
>>684771637
thats emily bloom, same as OP
>>684756298
>bring home random teen from night out
>both super drunk
>in missionary position
>she tells me to hit her
>give her light slap
>"punch me"
>don't want to
>not turned on anymore
>she sits up and bites my arm
>drunk reflex
>punch her right in the cheek
>she just lays there not moving
>blood dripping form arm
>too drunk to take it all in
>pass out
>next day girl is gone but bite mark remains
>bitches are crazy
>>684772476
why are you samefagging idiots always so boring?
>>684772543
>walls
>Two lines, with spaces
damn, nigga. nice assblasted shit right there
>>684772625
This is the only reply you're going to get in response to your stupidity. I won't argue with you anymore. there isn't anything else I can do to show I'm not samefagging
>>684757241
not funny at all
Emily Bloom has a MFC channel. I lurked her channel for a few hours over two weeks and then I decided that I didn't like her. She's an extremely conceded cunt with delusions of grandeur. She is currently living in New York taking acting lessons because she believes she is going to break out of the porn industry and establish a legitimate acting career.
Anyone who suggested this course of action wasn't realistic got banned.
>>684772712
Nowhere did I say I cared. OH please, massa, please reply to me just ONE more time! lol
>>684772712
>still not a single fucking contribution
Ok. You might actually be retarded.
>>684772847
what's MFC
>>684772915
My
Free
Cams
.com
>>684772887
I contributed the image showing that I wasn't samefagging. I've given people plenty of keks tonight in the one hour that i've been on tonight. Don't hate on me. Hate on the samefag accuser.
>>684772915
MidgetsForCarnivals
>>684772986
thanks anon, I was just trolling for posts like >>684773014
>>684772986
aka open up harddrive because youre about to get raped.
>>684772869
Sure boy, Anything for my most disobedient nigger
>>684772915
>you're new is showing
>>684772847
This. She's a stuck up cunt.
>>684772887
>>684773139
lol, good job faggot.
>>684773061
how would MFC rape your hard drive?
>>684756298
That's hot as fuck. My fetish.
>>684773272
i only have 64g and it jams in so many viruses it freezes up.
>>684773003
>pic related
>>684773375
>it jams in so many viruses
That's what OP's gf said about the guy that gave her herps
>>684772887
Hes samefagging no doubt, but youre falling for the bait, m8
>>684773375
How does it "jams in so many viruses" when going to the website causes zero downloads to your hard drive?
>>684773625
No dude, I really wasn't samefagging The first one was probably samefagging in response to his own post, But I am the second response
>>684772605
Lol. I once sneezed in a girls face during missionary. Big one too. That killed the vibe
>>684773778
Missionary blows, you do all the work in a position that makes it easy to cum and she gets to just take it
>>684773385
classic.
>>684773778
I like ramming my shoulder into the their chin really hard. It usually knocks them out for a few minutes.
>>684773737
any time i go to a cam website its like BOOM 100% harddrive and i have to reset.
Yeah, girls dig it though. Deep penetration and all that.
Just how guys love to be on the bottom too. We get to lay back and watch her work the dick.
>>684774067
Kek
> be me
> you wish
> browsing normiebook one day
> boom, chat opens up
> girl from class starts talking to me
> insta-curious
> play it cool for a few days
> ask what the reason was that she started chatting with me
> "well anon, I really really like you and want you"
> brain is broken, a hot girl likes neckbearded, fat me?
> I ask if she wants to hang one day, we end up making out
> we start dating, she has a few problems, depression and anxiety and such
Cont?
>>684769527
she fucked a customer at her bar an hour after meeting him? you think youre the first?
holy shit man, get tested
i think NORMAL people have a bit of decorum and dont just jump the bones of the first willing specimen.
>>684773495
>implying OP has a gf
>>684758208
Dude please tell me thats condom lube and not coming out of them. I can't deal with much more than the smell of their assholes.
>>684756429
Yeah, well, there is a reason op's pic is unrelated...because only niggers, spics, and Foodstamp-Americans ride the bus.
>>684774137
Just fucking post the damn story.
why you faggots got to always ask.
One time a cute girl talked to me. It didn't go anywhere, but a girl talked to me, so that's cool.
>>684774479
this happened to me a couple of times
I'm pretty studly
>>684770275
dude aids
>>684774447
The feminist matriarchy has depleted their semen storage to the point of full beta reversal, and they can no longer make up their own minds on trivial matters such as shit posting
>>684756298
Keep going with the story
https://youtu.be/ZY2XH_E-F0I
>>684774137
> I get a bit wary
> still really like this girl
> Wat do?
> decide to keep it going
> she acts clingy, so am I
> start to fall for her
> lose virginity to her
> really start to love this girl
> shit goes down at her house, dad beats her, step mum is a general bitch
Just a few months until I get to crawl into bed next to her every night /b/ros
>>684756298
Better make sure she didn't leave with your wallet or some other valuables
>>684775863
>>684762230
Spotted the female
>>684758433
the urethra is how it exits their bodies.
>>684765020
when they hit my p-spot just right, I clay all over
Is it just me or does she look really REALLY young
>>684772543
more of her?
>>684764580
uh...faggot
>>684756298
So,
You pick up a random girl and she gives you a golden shower for free and you're complaining??? Wtf is wrong with you, you utter cockwombling faggot
Haha, OP got pissed on and spilled his spaghetti!
>>684758621
Hell, I've been with a lot of grills, but that never happend to me. Your chicks might need to take a good ol shower
>>684756298
> Be me
> Have GF who is very open to new things
> Bring up piss fetish
> "You like that stuff anon!?
> I Dont know but I wanna try
> go to shower
> She pisses on my chest
> DAT warm jpg.
> "is it good?"
> It smells like popcorn
> never try it again
> I wanna try it again
>>684769527
wow shes a keeper.
>>684771284
Romania (top chicks)
>>684771325
wheres JLaws. only ever saw that once from fappening.
