Self-harm and mental illness thread.
How many of you self-harm, present or past?
What mental illness do you have?
I think i'm a schizoid
maybe thats just the weed though
I was cutting my wrists at the cringyest part of my adolescence, meaning about 16yo.
No mental illness tho, it's clear that it was just how I coped with my problems and how I seeked attention.
Fortunately my family noticed in time before anything serious, and the cuts werent deep enough to be very visible. I also wear a watch, which helps cover is, so no problemo ever since.
>>684702613
Why schizoid? Symtoms?
Diagnosed with BPD, bipolar, panic disorder and ptsd. I used to cut a lot when I was a teen. I still get urges but I haven't done it in a long time. Smoking cigarettes gives me the same relief.
>>684702997
>>684703053
Eh, I don't think OP was referring to that kind of mental illness.
ITT: i don't even fucking know man whaaaat
Depression and anxiety, pretty garden variety. Drugs didn't work, theraphy helped and it aint so bad now. Haven't cut or anything in like two years.
>>684700447
Edgy teen fag detected
why would anyone self-harm tho?
for real what goes through your mind to go say
"Hey why don't i cut myself"
and not somthing like
"Why don't i kill myself"
anyone with pics of that slut posting pics of her cut wrists about a week ago?
>>684704370
People who cut just wanna feel something real. I used to when I was like 14 but then I grew up, it's just about a little thrill.
So many people want to die, when really all they want to do is live. Boom
i have depression and anxiety, borderline personality disorder, i am suicidal most of the time and am in a very high risk category although I've been fine for a week or so. :)
i've got assburgers according to the doctors who tested me
not really anything special on /b/ though
>>684700447
I have puberty and I contemplate every night no one has it as bad as me
>>684704746
Woaw did not excepte an actual good respond until at least 3 shitty one's...
Thanks i guess i understand a little now
>>684704791
Fellow borderline here - hope things continue going well :)
If you do this to yourself, and are male, go ahead and cut off your cock. Please.
>>684702786
just about everything i've read about schizoid's apply to me
>>684705305
u on meds?or any therapy?
im on sertraline which im lucky works ok most of the time but no therapy and my BPD just festers
>>684704791
right there with ya, man. you take any meds? I got scripts for all sorts of shit but only take the xanax when anxiety gets really bad.
>>684704791
>>684705305
Have either of you two ever spent time in a psych ward? I'd like to hear about it if you have. :>
>>684705454
Why don't you see a doctor?
>>684700447
i tell you what those hearts were cut in very nicely
>>684705527
I'm not >>684705305 but I have been on sertraline for depression and anxiety but it did not work for me. I now take duloxetine and risperidone for my schizophrenia.
>>684705930
You're a star.
>>684705746
I went for a week after attempting suicide. While there I listened to someone screaming her head off about "daddy getting her" all night the first night and I was raped by a worker there a few days in. Needless to say it was not a good experience but I got out and I decided to keep living.
>>684705527
just sertraline and lots of alcohol and shitposting on 4chan
>>684705746
No but its only a matter of time. Suicide attempts always land you in one of those. I've been good at lying so stayed out one time. Next time if i chicken out again i might end up in one.
>>684706155
Sertraline doesnt work for everyone which is why i said im lucky that it did for me
>>684705746
PS: funny thing is if i do end up in one I'll probably know all the nurses and such, due to my job which i wont disclose here
My Ex used to cut my name into her titties all the time, I'll have to see if I can find the pics still.
>>684700447
I have autism
Not that severe, but it is still uncomfortable being in social situations with people I am unfamiliar with.
It's also co-morbid with ADHD, so fuck.
>>684705527
No meds no therapy. For better or worse I'm a high functioning basketcase. People just think I'm "quirky" which is fine cause people just assume I'm stable.
>>684706619
You were raped by one of the staff? WTF? Crazy world. Hope you're doing better now.
>>684707065
my own wife has no idea what goes on inside my head or about my suicide attempts and feelings. :(
I hate it when it comes but I've been ok for a week so maybe i shouldnt be here talking about it, might trigger me again. have a god day fellow /b/tards.
>>684700447
Skitzo-effective, pretty much means its kinda like schizophrenia and bipolar but they dont have an exact definition. Was on prosac, lithium, abilify and cymbalta. Useto cut a shit ton, but now just kinda cut when i feel super depressed. When i started smoking weed i didnt cut at all, but with out it and without my meds now, im back where i started depressed starving myself, and cutting again.
>>684706713
That would be awkward if you ended up in one where you knew the staff. I'd ask to be transferred if I were you.
I have schizophrenia and some quite bad beliefs (therapist calls them delusions) that people are watching me 24/7, can read my thoughts and are plotting to capture me, but they have to wait until the time is right and I fear so very much that one day I'll lose it and really endanger myself and end up in the psych ward :/
For 90% of depression being mere unrest rather than an actual imbalance there sure are a lot of people spouting this depression shit, like, fucking, it's getting out of hand, there's gonna be like a depress privilege soon, just go out, pretend you're not depressed, get some ass, then you won't be so depressed anymore for a little while.
depressed is an extreme of constant sadness, sadness like happiness is chemical emotion and is a response to stimuli; factors such as environment, health, peers, etc. and can be changed by changing those variables k?
Or drugs, drugs are good m'kay
I mean I've had psych's telling me I'm depressed too, get a clue, filling out meds is their job.
Change your situation.
Don't just have a depressing talk about being depressed otherwise, chances are you'll be more depressed for perpetuating this
>>684707477
Stay safe anon, best of luck
>>684707639
I'm in the same boat as you nearly; diagnosed schizo last year. Changing meds from risperidone to abilify on Monday, hopefully. I still cut when my anxiety gets really bad to feel in control.
>>684708060
Would an intense workout accomplish the same need to feel in control?
>>684705746
sauce for the love of god
that's my fetish
I stopped cutting a month ago, but I'll probably still do it later. Bad day.
>>684708243
Here's another pic. Sauce is from a reddit but I forget the name of it.
>>684708060
try smokin some weed, but sometimes weed wouldnt get me high when i was on my meds and vise versa. Hopefully changin your meds help
>>684708203
When I am anxious and depressed I can't motivate myself for shit. I've been cutting since I was about 14 so it's like second nature now.
>>684708441
thanks
>>684708450
Hopefully the med change will help, indeed. As for weed, well... I'm afraid it will make my psychotic features worse and my beliefs more emotional and powerful.
>>684708599
Wouldn't be a motivation thing for me.
Would still feel the ache of it, but eventually the gains would add up.
I have severe schizoaffective disorder, OCD, and general anxiety.
I don't self-harm because I'm not a pussy.
>>684700893
Nice chicken scratches.
>>684708243
>>684708681
I found the reddit for you. It's /r/hematolagnia
Emotionally unstable personality disorder, usually cut my chest when I'm stressed and and have tried to hang myself, but family unexpectedly came back and saved me.
>>684709211
thank you again based anon.
>hematolagnia
i guess that's my fetish then
>>684704933
Best post
If there is someone here that knows a lot about mental illness, like a doc or something what's your kik? Could maybe save a family for it. Wife I think is severely depressed, but I think there is more to it.
Yooooo, primarily obsessive OCD. My mind is constantly telling me that I'm a liar and have no identity. If i feed it, it consumes me and its GG for a day.
>>684710189
How can she stand the pain? Crazy huh!
Why does this turn me on so much?
>>684700683
>hey baby check out my gross scars, sexy huh?
>don't look at my tits
>>684700447
I don't self harm but I find something arousing about a girl doing it to me.
Severe depression and severe anxiety here
used to cut my shoulders back in the day.
>i regret nothing
You're all fucking retarded xD
>>684708243
psychopath
>>684710460
It doesn't hurt that much. Speaking from experience. A stubbed toe hurts way more.
any of you fags gonna post any of your own scars?
>>684711607
I second this guy. Post your own scars xDDD :'3
>>684711503
y-you too
>>684711853
*rawr* x3
I do martial arts because it's the only form of masochism that make a you stronger. I love getting hit, thrown, choked, locked, and getting pain inflicted on me. My only mental illness is beta manlet foreveralone syndrome otherwise I'd be constantly happy
> scarless self harm protip
Take a nice slightly thick book like a pocket bible, and place it on the back of your hand.
Take a hammer and hit the book to your hearts content
>>684711888
Trips!;0 get you! /purr :'3
>>684711933
There's an appeal to seeing the scars though. The blood flow is relaxing and addictive to some.
all these imaages, no coldnessinmyheart
>>684712569
>>684711888
>>684711853
Degeneracy Detected
>>684712832
wtf
>>684712944
Boner alert!
High five!
>>684711864
I recall seeing this girls pictures in a thread a few months back. I never bleed as much as she did.
>>684712832
I like her pictures. Does she post any new ones? If so where to? Assuming she hasn't killed herself.
>>684712944
Oh you sweet summer child, you will understand it soon enough
Why do you all cut? You're beautiful people. Don't do this to yourselves.
>>684713515
She's been gone for nearly a year. There's a lot of rumours going around that she killed herself, nothing comfirmed though afaik
more?
>>684714112
Shame. She was good fun.
>>684714409
Keep em coming boi
>>684714635
Indeed she was. I always wondered wtf her backstory was, she must have had one majorly fucked up past to end up as she did
how do her muscles even function
>>684714867
As you wish
>>684714968
Its weird how she always has a fresh open cut and long healed scars. Did any of her pics show her in various stages of healing?
>>684714968
Must have. Guess we'll never know.
>>684715324
I think, from the look of most of her pics, she would pick an area, cut it up, move onto the next and then comeback a few weeks (maybe longer?) later once it started to heal and do it over again
>>684715876
Makes you wonder how she never bled out. She had bound to have hit blood vessels cutting that deep into fat snd muscle.
She makes pretty much any other cutter look like a total pussy imo, I've yet to see someone who can match her in terms of scarring. Her "cuts" are like trenches
>>684716333
She probably did, she's been missing for over a year now and her tumblr has disappeared
>>684716894
She needs moisturizer on those legs
>>684717203
No amount of moisturizer will resurrect those.
RIP legs.
>>684717203
More like hire a plasterer to make them nice and level.
Major Depression. I was committed to a psychiatric hospital for suicidal ideation 2 weeks ago, but I've been alright since then. I fear that I'm going to crash soon, because I'm at an all-time high, and I feel like I'm on top of the world.
>>684700447
>>684718158
Keep flying brotha
Pretty depressed, not diagnosed thankfully (never checked to see though). I know I am because I have 0 reason to be as...sad as I am, I live a good life blah blah blah.
I'm also pretty sure I'm some form of autistic (fuck yea!) or sociopathic, seeing as most people feel nauseous after their first "3 guys 1 hammer" type video and I only wanted to see more and find out why he was gurgling. I'm also very good at being manipulative and lying. Plus fighting is always a huge joy for me.
I do plan to go in to the military after college though. Hopefully I'll die in war or going too fast on a motorcycle/in a car so I don't have to kill myself.
>>684719023
Wait people feel nauseous after those?...
Um... ;_; what's wrong with me?
I watch shit like that for fun.
Antisocial personality disorder
>>684719326
I know, I showed some of my friends that video of the guy getting his head blown open by a shotgun and they were nauseous. When I mentioned that it's never bugged me on watchpeopledie I got downvoted in to oblivion so I think we're just autistic
>>684702308
This one looks particularly nasty.
>>684700683
Fat slut eat your dad gramps and moms dick along with a bag of baby dicks you fucken attention whore KYS
>>684719762
>so I think we're just autistic
We must be. Wouldn't surprise me
This was on Feb 3rd this year currently the last time. I've been wanting to cut lately but I feel like I don't have enough body to cut and don't want to deal with getting caught. I'd really just rather get high.
Keep it going /b/ros
>>684700447
>mental illness
Self harming is a prevalent and influential part of western culture... i do not believe it should be seen as a negative aspect.
I scratched my hand once with my glasses.
Had bipolar at the time, now well-managed schizophrenia.
>>684706713
Doctors have tried to get me on every kind of ant-depressant for GAD, they are all worthless shit, the only thing that works in Klonopin, I have been prescribed 90 1mg pills for 10 years.
Ive work in a psych unit for the last 5-6 years. See some pretty fucked up cutters there. Mostly things people come in with. Sometimes people can do some damage though.
>>684722848
Cutting while they're admitted?
>>684700447
i had a ex who did that so sad feel better
>>684706619
Story on the rape
>>684723080
Usually that was a factor leading up to admission. U see a lot of eating disorder and PTSD patients carve " fat " or " ugly" into their bodies. Usually for attention but there is certainly people who enjoy it and use it for true distress relief
I used to cut/burn/Sew when I wa younger and then realized I'm completely retarded and stopped. I got back into burning recently but because its pleasurable. I'm Schizophrenic and a selective mute
>>684723080
Not hard to do. I got admitted to a pretty low security psych hospital for suicidal ideation (I went in willingly, no EDO), and they let me keep so much stuff I could have used to hang/cut myself.
>>684723479
I could not imagine this being possible. Might just be looking for attention.
>>684723769
In my hospital we do our best to limit people's chances of killing themselves. Cutting is kinda whatever. If they really want to they will when they leave anyways. More about suicide prevention. I've never seen anybody kill themselves but I've seen some very close calls
>>684704370
I used to cut myself and bash my head against walls until I passed out. Also would choke myself with belts to achieve the same thing at times (didn't tie it off, so when I'd start to lose consciousness it'd loosen and I'd be able to breath again)
Still not sure why I thought that was the best way to handle anxiety, but it felt right at the time. The smaller (more visible) cuts were definitely me trying to get the message across to my parents, but other times I just wanted to fucking hurt myself.
I don't self harm much anymore, aside from the occasional cigarette burn when I'm feeling particularly low.
I've definitely thought "hey, why don't I just kill myself" but the bottom line is that shit scares me, and I don't think I ever reached the point of conviction where I'd want to do that.
Only a matter of time though I'm sure
>>684724381
It would have been difficult but possible. They had to go around and get everyone to say something (usually hi) every 15 minutes during the day, and just check on us every 15 minutes during the night, but we could keep belts and shoelaces.
Diagnosed with euphoria and intellectual superiority.
We almost at 150 fam. it's almost the end. what do we do??? I'll miss all of you /b/ros ;(
>>684700447
I self harm through negligence (not eating or sleeping for long periods of time, taking weird risks, etc.). I have schizoaffective disorder (think bipolar plus paranoid schizophrenia) and am on meds for it. Ask away if you so desire.
>mental illness
heres a good one
https://orangecounty.craigslist.org/dmg/5589829455.html
>>684725585
How long do you go without sleeping? Why?
>>684724918
I can't believe they let you have belts. We take away belts, laces, drawstrings. As well as leggings and long socks. We do 15 minute checks and 5s but we just check to make sure respirations are regular. It all depends on state regulations. Every hospital in my state has similar regs
>>684723537
What's the most fucked up cutter story you have
>>684725794
Longest I went was ~60 hours (pre-meds) , usually go for about 40 now. It's like being high kinda, everything just passes you by and you can't really do much about it; it's a fucked up form of peace. Plus the auditory hallucinations get trippy as hell, I start feeling air on my ears to match the whispers I hear and shit like that.
>>684726734
There was one super borderline chick who took out the underwiring from her bra and literally stitched it into her arm. When we in baraacaded the door she ripped it up opening a massive cut. We put her straight into restraints because she started fighting us. There was blood everywhere. All for attention
>>684727168
>Be me, in the 80s.
>Know this chick into cutting.
>One day, see her cutting her stomach.
>Tell her, truthfully, that her pain makes me hard.
>Ask to see her cut her tits.
>Tells me she doesn't want to, then asks for a ride home.
>Take her home, she asks me to come in, and she'll cut her tits for me.
>Say that I don't think that's a good idea, because then I'll want to fuck her.
>Tells me she doesn't ever want to fuck me.
>But, if I force her to fuck, she won't try to stop me, or tell the cops.
>Follow her inside, shut the door.
>She pulls her tits out, pulls out the exacto knife, set for maybe 1/16th inch.
>Starts cutting the underside of her tits.
>I get an Insta-Boner, pull her pants down, and off, no panties.
>She tells me she doesn't want me to fuck her, and please don't rape her.
>but, if I do rape her, she won't say anything to anyone, or try to stop me.
>Tell her to keep cutting her tits, stick my dick into her, standing just inside the hallway.
>She's dry at first, and tells me how much it hurts, which makes me harder.
>After a couple of minutes, she's getting really wet.
>Asks me to make it hurt again.
>I pick her, dick still in her, and carry her into the kitchen.
>Put her on the table, pick up the salt shaker, pour some salt in my hand,
>rub it into her cuts. She goes nuts, and cums like crazy.
>That does it for me, I cum in her.
>
>Next day, she tells me that if I rape her again, she won't say anything to anyone.
>Tell her I'll pick her up at 6:30, we'll get something to eat,
>and she'll be in pain the whole time after she gets in my car.
>I fucked her for maybe 10 years. She never stopped wanting more pain.
>>684728205
Don't know if you're talking about poster or making a joke about her, but I know when I was in inpatient a borderline chick started a ton of shit, pretended to chill out, clawed herself and drew blood, then when they went to sedate her she lost her shit at the last second and broke the needle off in her arm. They can be fucking nuts, dude.
>>684728556
>implying cutting was a thing before 1995
>but 80s anon, but 80s
gtfo
