I need REVENGE on my annoying neighbor, and I'd like some ideas, /b/
>be me
>move in new rental house
>meet neighbor
>seems like an okay guy
>summer comes
>have no lawnmower
>after lawn gets pretty overgrown, neighbor mows it for me one day
>go to thank neighbor
>no problem he says, after all your yard is tiny and it only took me a minute
>finally i get lawnmower, little push mower
>mowing my own lawn now takes just a few minutes (it's really very tiny)
>mowing lawn every other week unless the grass grows too quickly
>neighbor mows his every weekend
>one weekend he mows mine again
>go to thank him again
>don't know if you noticed neighbor, but i have a mower now, so don't need you to mow anymore
>don't want to put you out
>it was no trouble he says
>still, i say, i'd feel better if i took care of it myself
>time passes
>he mows again, trims too
>destroys my wife's flower that was planted next to house
>go see neighbor
>thanks for getting the lawn again, neighbor, but when you did you used your weedeater on my wife's flowers
>oh sorry he says
>well it's alright, i say, just let me take care of my lawn so stuff like this won't happen
>he promises to do so
>fast forward to current day
>neighbor mowed my lawn while wife and i were away for the day
>he destroyed my wife's flower again
so, i'll be talking to him tomorrow, /b/, but i also would like to take some petty revenge on him
it's clear at this point he's doing this out of spite or because he thinks i should mow more often, but honestly i've told the guy multiple times not to and he continues
what are some ways i could fuck with the guy who i'm stuck living next to for the foreseeable future without doing anything (too) illegal? i'd like your suggestions
also, what are some instances where you got revenge on someone? please share stories of revenge, /b/
Put sugar in his lawnmower. That way he can't mow shit
>>684558222
just hammer spikes into the lawn so he destroys his lawnmower.
as an added bonus there's a chance of injuring him.
plant a flower then hide metal wire around it.
>>684558594
i have honestly considered this, but his mower stays padlocked in his garage whenever he's not using it
sprinkle bullets all over your lawn
put a mattress in his swimming pool. It usually takes a crane to get it out.
>>684558986
Bolt fucking cutters
Cut the padlock off and you're set.
>>684559304
i should probably do this
while i'm in there i can check to see if he's the person that stole my extension cord that went missing a few weeks ago
>>684558222
>Checked
yeah just throw some big rocks and shit in your yard when it gets just tall enough to hide them he will fuck his shit up and never do it again
>>684559304
This is a potential felony do not attempt
>>684558222
>>684559304
possibly instead of sugar in tank and getting in legal trouble, you could just put your own padlock, with the promise to let his mower go only if he says he'll stop mowing ur yard
>>684559703
felony, you say?
hmm, i do want to avoid felonies
hey so I cant see anybody else mentioning this
has OP considered putting up a fucking fence?
>>684559703
Who the cares dumb fuck off to reddit piece of shit
>mix some fertilizer in a water bottle
>poke a hole in the cap
>spray obscenities in his yard
>wait
>grass will grow taller/darker where you sprayed it
>>684558222
I would strategically place objects all over your lawn and near the bed he's wrecking. Hopefully he'll damage his mower and injure himself.
Since he's technically trespassing, it's on him.
OP youre a big fat faggot.
Now that the requisite formalities have been addressed, I run a termite breeding business which ships to the lower 48, no shipping charges incured for orders over 2,000 specimens(queen included!)
>>684560894
this, but with highly concentrated salt water. permanent lawn dick.
>>684560990
small rocks can do the job, and they are easy to hide on grass
Kill him
Put lots of (ideally pretty) rocks around your yard so his mower can't do shit on your yard. Only take them out when you mow. The flower should go in a pot next to your door.
caltrops should do it
>>684560589
>>684559703
>>684560740
If OP does something now while already accusing the neighbor of destroying his flowers, it would be pretty easy for the police to put two and two together and find out it was OP who sabotaged the neighbor's lawmower.
>>684561185
Ah yes, do so in the shape of a cock and balls
>>684558222
I got one
>Start cutting your grass every weekend
>Show your neighbor that you can be a conformist
>Stop being a whinny ungrateful bitch and grow up
>>684558849
This. If he fucks with it then complain to the county and/or report vandalism. Or get a gun and yell at him. Git ay propa stompin in!
>>684558222
does he use a push or ride mower?
Put a small garden fence around her flowers and continue to have him mow your lawn dude.
>>684560740
>Who the cares dumb fuck off to
wew lad
burn his house down
>>684561522
OP here
i didn't know my neighbor browsed /b/ too
>>684561531
ride
Get a pack of niggers to rape him
Personally if my neighbor did that I would punch the shit they call their face in. Then once he cant breath on his own blood in his throat I would quit and tell him to steer 15 ft away from my lawn and flower at all times.
>>684558222
>shit in a jug
>do this for a week
>one day dump all your shit on his doorstep
>neighbor comes home to elephant sized dump
>will have no idea how it got there
>mfw
>yfw
>tfw
>>684558222
If he has a dog that goes outside, throw cheese in the yard. It'll give the dog the shits.
>>684561522
Conformists let people mow their wife's gardens? How much of a bitch are you?
>>684561866
Dubs confirms that op is in fact, a bitch
Be subtle at first, build a vast conspiracy within his mind. then be terrifying.
>>684562025
don't think he was referring to OP
>>684561738
Do this OP
>>684562077
would not work. "neighbor" is already fucking with op's mind
>>684558222
Maybe you should cut your fucking grass more often you lazy fuckhole.
>>684562077
Post updates on /b/ every day
>>684561681
Yes you cuck and trust me when I say that your pretty wife doesn't care about those shitty flowers whenever I am plowing her and planting my seed past her bushes.
>>684561722
yea man throw some spike and shit by the flowers. those tires aint so cheap
don't plant flowers and let him mow ur fuckin lawn
1. wait untill he's on your property
2. shoot him
3. claim it was selfdefence
4.get away with it (if you live in the usa)
I had the same problem, op
After a week I decided to drug his wife, shoot him, and frame the wife
He hasnt fucked with my lawn since!
make friends with a police officer and when he's over at your house, make sure it's one of the days your neighbor mows your lawn
oh hey what are you doing on my property. what can i do here officer friendo? this is about as vengeful a normal, mature adult would go about things
>>684558222
One more idea: stalk him with pineapples.
>>684561725
Thats a barbaric way to handle such a petty situation.
It by no means makes you tough, anon.
>>684562378
Tell the police he tried to run you over with the lawnmower
>>684562507
>this is about as vengeful a normal, mature adult
this may be true
but i am no normal, mature adult
>>684562234
True, OP is a beta faget for experiencing this challenge from territorial male.
Yard hazards to fuck-up his lawnmower. Plenty of good ones already suggested.
>Stick metal spikes in the ground
>Caltrops
>Rocks
Any of these will fuck the blades up if they're tough enough. He won't mow your lawn if he has to drop some cash to get them fixed every time.
>>684562561
I've seen that greentext
You got it?
>>684561185
by the law of sweet tea, the higher the water temp the more you can disolve.
Heat some water on the stove, stir n salt til it doesn't disolve.
Profit
Use potassium perchlorate and aluminum powder mix and put in yard in something.
>runs over container
>fucking explodes
>no more lawn mower
>no more neighbor
I don't recommend this at all
>>684558222
Nice trips. But seriously just tell him to fucking quit or start leaving big ass rocks in your yard, at least the size of a soft ball so if he runs it over it won't fling it, it will just fuck up his blades.
>>684562581
Its sad and frustrating that I cant tell whether the responses to obvious bait are bait or not
>>684558222
>move in new rental house
And you expect us to believe your neighbor is the problem?
>>684560716
Too much time and effort for something that small. Same reason you don't put a fence around your penis.
>>684558222
Spray him with water every time he goes to your lawn
>>684558222
http://www.collectorsfirearms.com/john-manton-percussion-dueling-pistols-ah3353/
http://www.darkknightarmoury.com/p-21627-18th-century-gentlemans-small-sword.aspx
Your pick
settle it the old fashioned way
Try getting fungus or flowers with poisonous spores, so whenever he inhales them when mowning.The aspergillus fumigatus might interest you.
If you don't want to go that far you might wanna try with dog shit instead.
>>684558222
>Start mowing his lawn
>Do a shitty job
>Kill his flowers
>???
>Profit
OP here
so many good suggestions that helped me brainstorm and come up with a good plan
rape neighbor's wife
kill his children
then, put sugar in his lawn mower's gas tank
>>684561313
>>684561660
>>684561723
I like where these guys are going
N hero
>>684561522
You sound like a cuck, do you let people fuck your wife too?
>>684561722
Strategically place rocks or trees in a grid so that his mower won't fit in your yard
juat tell to stop fucking mowing your lawn
say FUCKING and LAWN really loud
stop FUCKING mowing my LAWN
>>684564640
that could work
Put a sign in your lawn saying 'stay the fuck out of my lawn' and put a cctv, if he still enters, give the video to police.
>>684558222
plant metal shit around the yard incase he tries to meow again
another idea is throw dishsoap or something in his cars gas tank
or if you don't want to confront him or if you just want some free downloads hack his wifi or just jam it at like 6pm every night or whenever he uses it most
>>684562704
well not only that, but it's one of the only things that will strike fear into a person who'd do something like taking time out of his day to act on passive aggressive urges garnered by a few simple interactions. he wants to punish you, but he can't if that happens
maybe put a bunch of pennies in your yard in places you know where they are so you can pick them up when you mow, but if he does it there's a chance he could get really hurt.
wait till he comes over with his mower
walk out over too him
yank one of his arms away from the mower, look him in the eyes and say: stop mowing my lawn.
send pizza to front door
Get a pitbul
>>684566487
That's got potential give out address and phone number for nearby pizza places that deliver.
>>684558222
Tell him you'll kill him if he mows your lawn again, if he does kill him.
Perfectly legal.
>>684559195
No it doesn't you retard.
>>684566834
no nearby pizza places that deliver out here
i live in rural hell
>>684558222
Spray potent poisons on his grass and trees
>>684566894
seems legit
>>684560589
Fuck that felony noise. Get an identical padlock and bolt cutters. Cut his off and replace it with your new one. He will lose his
Mind trying to figure out wtf is going on.
>>684567054
What delivers out there?
>>684567054
make pizza and put on front door
>>684567144
the post office, UPS, and Fed Ex
that's pretty much it, anon
shit in his letter box
>>684567142
i like this idea too
>>684567310
Kill yourself
Just mow his yard too and rek his flowers
>>684559304
May as well steal the lawnmower
>>684567310
Use old package in marked fill with dildos old piss bottles and shit. Close up and leave in front of door. Super glue bottom of box to ground so it's a big pain in the ass
>>684567377
or send him some shit in the mail?
anyone ever use poopsenders?
is it legit?
>>684567142
you don't know how big of a madman this guy is
even if he has the cops come and check for fingerprints and his are actually on them, he will go to op first angry as hell and ready to unleash his bitch wrath upon him. if you've ever dealt with a situation like that, these people can get pretty hostile if you do something in retaliation equal to their level of negativism
>>684567377
smear shit on his door/car
any shit will do
>>684558222
>hide mustard gas around yard in tall grass
>if he mows he'll mess up his mower and possibly hurt himself
>it usually takes a crane to get out
How bad revenge we talking here? Does he have a dog? If so throw some meat with rat poison in it over to his yard.
Or shit in his yard, or mow his yard (since he sounds anal about it) but make sure to do a horrible job.
>>684558986
>>684559304
>When you dont put any points toward lockpicking.
Be more assertive. Tell him to mind his own fucking business and to stay off your fucking lawn
get a fucking fence you asshole
>>684567990
he has no dog
i could have my dog shit in his yard
or i could leave my dog's shit in my yard instead of picking it up
two weeks worth would probably convince him that mowing my lawn is a bad idea
>>684562778
i gotchu /b/ro
Tell him to stop mowing your lawns and if he does you'll get police involved
There. he'll either stop or you get your petty revenge
Hey OP, Is the neighbour the landlord?
>>684559087
bold move
>>684568973
no he isn't
Mow your lawn everyday and mow his too. He obviously really enjoys mowing so you should deprive him of that joy.
>>684569197
the greatest revenge
takes away something he loves
>>684567033
newfag detected
Fuck his wife OP
he mows your lawn for you?
wow.
what a monster.
does he also do your dishes and pay your bills for you? sounds like a real asshole op
>>684570071
good point, is OP's neighbor just his dad and this is op's pathetic little attempt at rebellion?
>>684565528
rolling for pennies in yard
Call give police and file a complaint that he is stealing your grass. Serious. You should also talk to a lawyer
>be me
>be OP
>be homeless
>dude drops a $20 in my cup
how do I get revenge on this asshole /b/?
>>684558849
>>684558849
>>684558849
>>684558849
>>684558849
This. Fuck up the mower.
>>684572366
i mean there was still coffee in that cup
>buy ingredients for simple 'shake and bake' meth lab w cash
>assemble
>place on neighbors property
>call police and report suspicious activity
>>684561625
Agreed. Go to lowes or home depot and buy some of that flimsy white plasict fence shit for cheap. Its enough that it will stop his weed eater and mower from fucking up the flowers and you save yourself the time and energy of mowing the lawn.
>>684561976
Kek
Have a mower show off with him. Next time he revs his up get yours ready and start on his lawn. Also run your mower into his to show him you have alpha mower.
Or put a couple signs around your grass saying stay out faggot neighbor.
>>684562378
If you live in Florida you can have an argument with your neighbor then come back 10 minutes later, shoot him in self defense and get off scott free even if he dies.
Small bottles of ammonia and chlorine sprinkled judiciously throughout your lawn.
