Ill try this again. i need help. I have this really cute girl coming over next weekend and I really want to impress her. Im so bad with girls but I think i cam get with her because she has low self esteem. Last month I heard her talking to her friend about how much she likes strawberry soda so I rented 8 cases of it to impress her. Im pretty sure when she sees the cases of strawberry soda she will think i have a lot going for me. What are other ways i can get her to sleep with me because i can't actually let her drink any of the soda.
>>684411904
Lol
Halp
>>684411904
pic related? she is a cutie.
>>684411904
>she likes strawberry soda
>so I rented 8 cases of it to impress her
>autism
>What are other ways i can get her to sleep with me
>i can't actually let her drink any of the soda.
>wtf autism... why
This is bait. Nobody is going to believe you're this autistic. You can't fucking rent cases of soda anyways wtf is wrong with you?
>>684413469
Yes i have more. Ill post if you help me
How does one rent soda?
>>684411904
>because i can't actually let her drink any of the soda
lolwut.
Nice b8 tho
>>684411904
Are you related to doublemint Dave?
>>684413811
I don't know what w how you all guess i have autism. Its my biggest problem. I can get this one but i need help. I did rent the soda! I have to give it back to jim or ill lose my deposit if even one is missing. Jim said he would rent it to me after i told him about my strawberry girl
>>684413645
You need to lurk more bucko
She is the right one. The left one is too fat and im not black
this is her on a water floater
This is her with the guy I rented the soda from. He told me he would tell her it was all my soda
>>684415316
Dude, what? How much does renting soda cases set you back.. Asking for a friend
>>684415316
Not being silly mate but I think shes getting shafted by the soda guy
>>684415809
Only $8 a day for 7 cases. He gave me one extra because he knows how much this means to me.
Relax, this isn't bait
>>684416307
I think he's taking advantage of your autism, whats stopping you from buying soda at a shop that she can actually drink for like $5 less
>>684416054
He doesn't even like strawberry soda so i dont think shes into him.
>>684411904
>>684411904
Yo you're dumb affff
>>684416515
I think you're focusing on the Strawberry Soda too much, I don't think shes gonna hop on your dick just because you have some fizzy drinks
>>684416480
Because I could only afford one case and i dont think she would be that impressed so after i told jim about my interest in her he said I could rent 8 full cases of soda as long as I didn't open any of them. If i open one ill have to give him $40 and I only make that every 5 days
>I rented 8 cases of soda to impress her
>I rented 8 cases of soda
>I rented soda
>Rented soda
kys
>>684416645
I think she will be really impressed by the amount of soda in my bedroom
>>684416775
I'm confused here.
>RENTED A FUCKING DRINK
I think she'd enjoy you cooking her something nice or eating her out rather than staring at 8 cases of strawberry soda for 5 seconds
>>684417018
Like chicken nuggets?
>>684417122
No... Not like chicken nuggets.
Seriously what the fuck?
Her: wow i love strawberry soda too. May i have one?
You: no
You: i made you chicken nuggets please sleep with me
>>684417122
Yeah I guess so, girls like shitty meaningless things like McDonalds and shit like that.
^^^this cunt above me isn't original guy OP
>>684417122
But at the same time she isn't gonna fuck you straight up, unless shes into that. Usually the third date tends to end up in a fuck fest
>>684411904
>I have this really cute girl coming over next weekend and I really want to impress her.
>What are other ways i can get her to sleep with me
Sorry, but getting a girl to sleep with you won't impress her
If I was you, I'd buy a crate or at least some strawberry soda she can actually drink, it's gonna be real awkward if she asks for one and you say no. Buy a crate that is drinkable, then the rest is for show.
>>684411904
Obvious troll but..
Lol just imagining the "I love strawberry soda! Can I have one?" "No!" Followed by the cracking, sucking sound of a vagina drying up and vacuum sealing.
>>684417595
Well I thought about asking jim if i can rent a cat off him too. Her cat died last week and if she sees i have a cat and strawberry soda I think it would seal the deal
Give your friend the soda back he's ripping you off. You only need one case. Having more than one makes you look retarded. And let her drink it. Next buy a crock pot and a rice cooker make a simple crock pot dish. And a side of rice. Don't be an autist use a recipe from the internet. And last and most importantly clean your place. Girls prefer to fuck in a clean environment and I mean like CLEAN mother fucker.
>>684417762
I don't know this is getting really expensive. Nuggets and an actual soda. Okay ill spring for it. Good idea
>>684417888
Or make her burst into tears about how she no longer has a cat
10/10
>>684415053
>a water floater
kek
>>684418036
My place is super clean because there is not much in it. I have a nes with duck hunt but no gun for it, a tv and a table that has all the soda on it. Other then the foldable chair the rest of the place is empty. Now you see why i have to really impress her with all the soda
>>684416960
Of which you then deny her to drink any.
>>684415053
>her on a water floater
>a water floater
>water floater
the bait is too strong
>>684418442
Wait you have only one chair?
>>684418442
Bait, but entertaining
>>684418442
I swear this is a fucking cartoon sketch from like Spongebob or something.
>>684418442
Sure anon, pic with timestamp or this is bullcrap! We can give you legit advice if we're sure this is not bait
This is my favorite picture of her showing off her mouth extension
>>684418995
You're not even trying anymore...
>>684419114
No one is helping. Im trying really hard!!!!!!
solution to anons problem:
>she comes over
>'wow, 8 crates of strawberry soda. I'm wet 4 you'
>'can I have some?'
>OP: 'no, the wizard will get angry forbid me from using the home'
>'wut' [pond dries up]
>OP: 'shall we go for a walk in the ocean'
>???
>OP:'If you like we can drive, I have my seed givers water floater'
>'sounds cool'
>OP:'isn't the moon so bright?'
>'its daylight'
>OP:'I know, it truly is isn't it.'
>OP:'oh well, May I insert the rod of truth now'
>.... 'ok'
WINRAR
>>684418442
i love you anon
>>684419394
Will that work?
>>684419613
Someone has been to New York
>>684419619
garunteed
>you might want to show her your penny collection tho, just to seal the deal
>>684419772
Wow! Great idea! Do you think its big enough to impress her?
>>684419772
Im missing one tho. She might think im a loser
>>684420476
You literally have a penny collection...im done
>>684420173
you might want to exaggerate the size; like a peacock warding off predators.
>got out and get frames
>place each individual penny in frame
>cover walls in pennies
>put pennies on table tops
>exaggerate pennies worth
>watch the pennies reflect the sexuality of wettened penny
>pic related, her reaction
Dis bish looks like Riley Reid fo sho.
Is she related or sumtin?
>>684420515
Ha!
Her name is jess
To OP
You shouldn't have tried to impress this girl with strawberry soda she can't drink, that's literally the weirdest/autistic/this girl will find you immediately weird and creepy shit i've ever seen.
Just be yourself, try to just simply have fun with the time you'll have together at your house.
Not be a faggot with a ton of non drinkable strawberry soda dude, you're really not trying/i really don't know if this girl is actually into you.
>>684421162
Oh she is. Every time i see her she complements me and she invited herself over. I did not ask her.
She drives a nice person cart so i think she has money. You are saying I should try to rent more soda?
>>684418442
100% bait but i'm fucking loving this anyways lmao
This is a picture of us. Thats me the week i got my new vision glasses
>>684421794
Forgot pic
Pics of soda or isnt true
This is a nice picture of us.
What is happening
>>684424246
That's exactly how it shall go down
>>684424246
Oh shit that guy. Im actually laughing really hard
>>684411904
This is becoming one of the best posts on /b/ in a long time.
Alright i just got off aim with her and she actually brought up strawberry soda. She will probably want some when we meet up. Tim was very specific about not drinking the soda. Im going to get her a 10 piece of nuggets and when im getting ready to reheat them on the george forman ill open a can of of tuna so it makes the sound of a can opening and just put water in a glass with strawberry hershey flavor. Ill get her to agree
>>684425943
Fuck ill have to displace the tuna. Ill bring it in the bathroom with me
>>684426023
That might be obvious.
>>684425943
>>684426023
fucking kek
Oh wow she wants to bring her best friend. I don't know if the nuggets will cut it. I really need your advice/b/. Pic related its sandy
>>684418995
>mouth extension
>rents soda
nigga what, are you that poor?
OP that's not the same girl. you lyin
>>684426706
what the actual fuck
>>684426983
It is. She is jae lynn on fb. Maybe one of you could put in a good word? Don't mention the soda. I dont want her to get ideas
>tell her the soda is for display purposes only
>if she gets weird about it simply show her the paperwork for your rental agreement
>rape her afterwards
>see if she is cool enough to return the soda post impregnation
>you have won
>>684421942
>>684421942
you should really post pictures of the soda bro. nobody will take you seriously if you dont
>>684427718
>implying this is not bait
Please archive this
Are we witnessing the birth of strawberrysoda chan?
>>684427974
parts of this I wish could be archived but too many new fags
op?
