Last Friday, my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend was paroled.
The night before, my girlfriend asked me if it would be alright for him to crash at our place. I objected of course, but then she got really upset and started crying because I wasn't being supportive. They have a child together and she wanted her son to be able to spend some time with his father. I felt really conflicted because I have been filling in as the boys father for the past 3 years. I've taken him shopping for school clothes, I take him to school every morning and I've spent hundreds of hours helping him with his homework.
She went to go pick him up @ 7am. I called her around 12pm to ask her if she wanted to have lunch with me and it quickly became apparent that she was in the act of having sex while talking to me on the phone. I called her out for it and she didn't deny it. It sounded like she just dropped the phone on the floor. I listened to her get railed for as long as I could take it, but I eventually broke down in tears and hung up the phone.
Before I got off of work Friday afternoon, my girlfriend sent me this snapchat.
Of course, I'm furious about it. I've never been this angry. I went home to confront the man in my house and as soon as I saw him he grabbed me by the throat and pushed me into the corner of my foyer. He made it very clear that he was physically stronger than me, but he didn't strike me. He told me to go get him a beer. I looked at my girlfriend and she wouldn't make eye contact with me. After I got his beer and gave it to him, I spent all of last weekend listening to them fuck in my bedroom. They never stopped. 4 whole days of fucking non stop and she was extremely loud.
I think he's dealing drugs out of my house, now. If I call the cops, I could be charged with maintaining a dwelling for the distribution of narcotics and my house could be seized and auctioned. I inherited it from my late mother and it's paid for.
How do I get this guy out of my house?
Get a gun and a knife from the kitchen. Convince the guy to talk to you alone in the kitchen. Non-chalantly ask him to hold the knife for a minute. Once he grabs it, draw your gun and shoot him in the head. Call the cops and tell them you tried to kick him out but he grabbed a knife. Since you have a right to possess a gun in your own home you can defend yourself.
C'mon OP. This is easy. I'd be more disappoint in you if I didn't think this was pasta
Not sure what I'd do
>be in love
>find out she fukin ex
>breakdown in tears
>possible hanging at my place for them to see
>forced against wall
>play to my strengths
>kill the fucker
>maybe kill the bitch too
Get a gun point it at he's head and tell him to gtfo if he don't put one though he's dome and say he attacked you he already has a rapsheet or just leave that slut ether way post more of that bitch she is kinda hot
I love copypasta.
The reason I love copypasta is because posting it makes you mad. You. Yeah, that's right. You. You're my target. Your rage fulfils me. Yes, I've posted this before, and I'm going to post it again. And there is nothing you can do to stop me.
Not only am I going to post this over and over and over again, but other anons, seeing the rage posting this produces, are also going to post this. Especially our newfriends. Right now, newfriends are realizing that this actually does make you angry. They realize, like I do, that you think of /b/ as your own private little utopia that gets ruined when the common class stumbles upon it like oblivious tourists.
Well it isn't, you pretentious fucks. This forum is open to the public. It isn't yours. You're nothing special for frequently visiting this place. No one gives a shit that you've seen this before and in fact, they laugh at your grandiose opinion of what this place is. It's just a stupid imageboard. It's not even the first. After frequently visiting Something Awful, Chris Poole consciously decided to make an English Futaba Channel without any thought of how original it might be. So basically, this entire image board is copypasta and you're just a whiny little faggot fuckwit for actually getting angry at complete strangers for failing to entertain you. Go fuck yourself. No, really. Grab a poison-tipped cactus and go fuck yourself. Then go give your mom another hug to compensate for her fat ass not getting any. It's the only way you know how to pay rent.
>he wrote ten paragraphs describing his cuck fantasy
If this were real I guarantee you'd be shopping for a gun or for a new place, not asking a bunch of autistic faggots on the Internet. You should immediately kill yourself. Sage.