Fuck /b/ I think im going to fuck my friends mom, pic unrelated
>be me
>over friends house
>friend goes to work, I chill in the house for a bit cause we've been working on a project together and he knows me like family, basically my second home
>i've built a quasi-relationship with his brunette 8/10 mom over the years, we always talk about alot of things sometimes have deep conversations and make jokes and play around, ive lifted her and ive held her close a couple times when my friend wasn't looking(single mom)
>she's coming home from gym
>we talk, she tells me shes going on a date tonight
>she also tells me that she wants to be more "free" and is in a NSA with some other guy whos about as young as me, and he's coming over the house later
>Get Bold
>realize this could be us but im playin
>decide to make sexual banter/innuendo, saying shit like, "no room for me in this schedule?" Or, "so you like a tag team?" Just stupid shit to get her wheels turning
>she smiles and we laugh it off, I compliment her as she leaves for her first date
>im still in the house working
>she comes back not an hour later
>I ask if need to stab anyone
>she says no but she's not really interested in him
>next guy calls
>she says all systems go
>Get Bold
>ask her about her sudden interest in young men
>she makes up some bullshit
>I ask her why not me
>she says our relationship is different and she doesnt want to ruin it/were like family
>I tell her we're not blood family but we can just be close like we are
>then she hits me with the im too young
>I simply say "then what about your friend thats coming over?"
>we talked in circles until the guy came over, she says its over with and she doesnt want to compromise our relationship
>they go into her room
>her room is near her sons room so I can kinda hear the stuff theyre doing
>5 minutes
>mutters
>10 minutes
>....
>15 minutes
>i overhear her saying angrily "you can leave"
>guy leaves
Cont.
>>684246365
god, you people are fucked up.
>>684246365
you're a bad person.
im listening.
TYPE THE FUCK FASTER
>>684246365
Carry on
Pro tip use note pad OP before starting a thread
Come on OP, I wanna go to bed soon
Hurry the fuck up op
>I ask her if she fucked him
>she says no
>I ask her was it cause of me
>she says no
>talk some more, probe a little more into what happened
>cut to we start watching a movie together
>I ask her if we can continue our convo
>she says she doesnt want to
> I insist anyway, say that im great at keeping secrets, we have chemistry, etc
>the only thing she has at this point is that im the friend to her son and it would be wrong
>what he doesnt know wont hurt him
>she wants me to drop it and leave it alone
>i do, and we talk about something else
>we sit on the couch together for 10 minutes
>she gets up, says she's going to take a walk
>i insist she stay and I leave, ask her if i made her uncomfortable
>she says no, and our relationship is fine and im reading into it too much
>I leave anywhay
>she offers to take me home, I say yes and on the drive I hit on her a couple more times
>she laughs it off and tells me goodnight
Im supposed to go back on tuesday anons. What do? Am I in?
On hurry you ass up to while my cock is still hard lmao
>>684247413
oh my fucking god. That's it? you fucking suck dick dude. Ain't shit gonna happen for you faggot
>>684247413
msg her right now to prove sign off life
no beta shit
>>684247413
>think im going to fuck my friends mom
>she doesnt want whole time
>shows very little interest
>am i in?
Autism is a very terrible thing people
>>684247413
no, you are annoying and she is too decent to tell you to stop the fucking bullshit. So stop it, according to your story she would have jumped on you already if she wanted, you gave her plenty of opportunities. She laughed it off or told you some other reason to stop.
>>684247413
Fucking beta
HURRY! DICK IS DIAMONDS
Post pics of her pls
>>684247413
Just tell her you can be fuck buddies and full around
>>684247793
lol. if this gay ass story gets your dick hard then you probably read playboys for their stories too, don't you?
>go back to her house
>she looks visibly stressed
>I ask her if she needs anything
>I need about tree fiddy
>at this point I realise I am about 500 ft tall and from the paleolithic era
>>684247894
Penthouse does stories, playboy has articles. Calm down, youngin.
>>684247720
Thats the thing, im not simply sure thats the case, we get close all the time and she already told me im attractive. None of the reasons she gave me were about anything other than the taboo of it.
We still joke about fucking and shit too, im pretty candid with her.
I dont want a relationship because im already in one, i just find ny friends mom incredibly attractive.
>>684247964
Well I never noticed in the playboys I have because I don't read them
>>684247894
>you probably read playboys
You are retarded
>see op pic
>pic semi relatable
>get semi
>read story, she ain't interested
>op says he might fuck her in first post
>waiting for development
>>684247964
>knowing the difference
>youngin
>>684248246
there is no further development anon, he ended his story and asked for advice
>>684247948
fucking wat
>>684248380
its from south park you fucking retard
>>684247413
Go over their now and grab her, fuck her and upload the video
this nigger made me wait 30 mins for a fucken baby sentence and a shit story , OP is indeed a Faggot
>>684248163
Dude it won't happen.. if you keep pushing it will get REALLY awkward, and he WILL find out which is just all around no buenos.. trust me brotha it isn't worth pushing IF it is to happen SHE will make the move on you my dude. Don't allow yourself to project your want to fuck her onto the situation and begin misreading everything as a "I want the D" because it happens bro. Just trust me it isn't worth fucking that relationship up my dude.
>>684248358
There is if he posts pics of her
>>684248412
completely misquoted though
>>684248639
yeah, but we can't expect every faggot to know anything more than their favorite dick color with any decent accuracy
>>684247703
Top kek!! Right? The title implies the mom was going to show sexual interest and possibly make the first move on anon. Nope. She shut him down twice and flat out told him no then took that as a sign she is dtf.
>wanna fuck?
>no. I like you as a freind.
>Yesssssss, I'm so getting laid tonight.
>>684248338
>not being 12
>>684248412
how would I know that there's hundreds of episodes cock sucker
>>684248855
Double dubs checked
The idea that you think there's anything there is sad at best, creepy at worst. I could be nicer about it, but seriously, stop pushing it. She ain't into it. It may not be your age. Whatever it is, it's best to not try your luck any further if she means anything at all to you.
Fuck I hate giving serious answers.
>>684248584
Its just wierd cause now I cant stop thinking about it. There were a couple times I could have sworn I saw an opening.
>>684248855
The title was only implied in the potential future. I've been shot down by a woman only to fuck her later so what? Its usually more behind it. Think harder you dope
>>684246365
Not only is this chick completley not interested, you are making things super awkward with her. She being polite as possible as to hurt your feelings and being the autist you are you are not getting the hint. I have a feeling there is no "we" in the sexual batter, most likely just you making sexual jokes and making her uneasy
>>684246365
Abort ship OP. This chick would have made the first move a long time ago if she was interested.
>be me
>my kid has beta neckbeard lard ass friend
>not even friends, lardass follows my kid around and my kid feels bad for him
>got a date the other day
>lardass overhears me tell my friend and breathes onion breath on me
>'I'll fuck you too slut'
>laugh, he must be autistic or something
>go to meet my date, turns out his mom died and he can't make it
>lardass threatens to kill him to protect his 'maiden'
>I angrily tell him no
>lardass runs away, his hands behind his body, but before he goes he tries to wink at me and say 'a warrior knows no bounds'
>he trips
>I help him up
>he asks if I will fuck him
>I say no
>tell him my boyfriend is coming over
>call a male friend and ask him to come over so lardass stops bugging me
>sit in my room for about thirty minutes, assume lardass gave up
>tell my friend thanks, and he can leave
>lardass asks if I fucked him
>I say it's none of his business
>he asks if I will fuck him
>I say stop talking about it
>he says he will 'pinky swear' that we won't tell anyone
>I say no
>he starts crying so I ask what I can do to make him feel better
>he wants to watch some pony movie bullshit
>I reluctantly agree
>he takes out his acer notepad and loads up a 240p version of equestrian girls
>'I only have one ear phone, so you can read the subtitles'
>about halfway through he asks to fuck again
>I say no, again
>he takes out his phone and says 'only the Internet can help me now'
>see him type some bullshit story
>let it slide because I love my son
Mfw
In an unrelated story, I banged my 15 year old gf the other day
>>684249576
Top kek
>>684249701
pics
>>684248890
not being 12 is a good start
>>684249824
Yeah, I've always wanted to be banned anon
>>684249576
true story
>>684249941
i think he just means her face
>>684249576
yes
>>684248584
This guy gets it.
lol sounds very much like she doesnt want to fuck you idiot. you probably look retarded or are just overall awkward and beta as fuck.
btw ive fucked my friends milf mom, she had fake tits and went to the gym all the time hot as fuck. told me she did it all the time and shes in an open relationship with her husband. made it feel not cool at all after she told me that lol. still fuck her sometimes. last time she basically did joi on me though while we were sitting outside by the pool. that was a strange experience lol. she just started asking me about masturbation and shit and i told her i do it all the time and she said how hot she thinks it is, next thing i know shes directing me how to jo while rubbing tanning oil all over me lol.
>>684250083
Still, wouldn't want to. Just know, while you fags post loli threads, I actually have been with a minor, so you know.... boom
>>684247948
I'm disappointed if people don't get this
>>684247948
Kek
>>684250202
I lost my virginity when I was 15 to my 13 yr old gf. Idk wtf boom is supposed to mean though. unless you're like 22+ then it isn't that big of a deal that you fucked a15 yo girl
D.E.N.N.I.S.
>>684250709
Dick Enters, Not Nookie Intercourse, Shit?
>5 minutes
>mutters
>10 minutes
>....
>15 minutes
>i overhear her saying angrily "you can leave"
>guy leaves
What the fuck did he do?
Also how could someones mum be such a slut?
>>684246365
fuck dude, i think you are a huge cringe. pic unrelated
>>684250927
You're evidence to your own mums sluttery
>>684250235
I get it
>>684247413
the prophecy was true.
gentleman, i present you, the chosen lord of autism and cringe.
>>684249576
Holy shit. This is pure gold. I Keked the whole way through. My chest hurts.
>>684249576
true
These queerlords don't know women. You're in, but not if you keep fagging out. You had to do that, because now she knows you want to fuck. The rest is waiting. When you are around her, and she is horny/vulnerable, she will decide you are safe. She knows you're down so it's a right place / right time type thing. There's a good chance this day may never come but what it means is resuming your normal interactions and watching carefully. If there are undeniable signs then you move again, but if you read into something that's not there you'll become a creepy rapist-type.
>>684249576
10/10 anon. My sides.
>>684247413
Post a pic of you to see if she's playing hard to get or if you are just autistic
>>684250185
Ah the typical teen fantasy. Yes she rubbed oil on you then said you were the best fuck she has ever had.
OP how old are you if she had to drive you home?
>>684251761
lol no retard she never said that, and im not a teen. and i already told u it lost its cool feeling after she told me she does it all the time with other guys. but ya we were laying out by the pool and she was rubbing tanning oil on me while telling me how
>>684251619
Don't take advice from a this fellow autist of yours OP. I'm actually into miles and have dated a couple and fucked a handful and they aren't shy sexually. She would have made a move already a long time ago.
>>684252119
Milfs* not miles lol.
>>684251619
Milf virgin spotted. Stop talking about aomething you have zero experience in.
>>684249576
god bless you fam for saving this thread
>>684249576
Fuckin zozzle.
>>684247413
Sounds more like you're desperately trying to fight your way outta the friendzone OP. You are not getting that tail
>>684249349
>saw an opening
Nah thats just your pre-mature boner making you think you saw an opening. sorry kid shes not interested.
>>684247413
>beta ass faggot makes up a story about friend's hot mom and gets denied in that too
lol
