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Through some sort of glitch in the matrix,...
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Through some sort of glitch in the matrix, you are transported to the year 1352 in anywhere, Europe. Assuming language/disease isn't an issue, and you have all the knowledge you currently have now, what do?
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Simply be fucked cause i only know how to use computers and smartphones. Be fucked really heavily
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Use simple chemistry to convince them I'm a god, then create a religion where everyone twerks in church.
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>>684242151
So would i have been transported to the past with anything or am i just naked in the middle of nowhere?
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find a brothel and hope my wedding ring is actually gold.
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Steal all newtons discoveries way before he can do them, publish many other scientists work before they're even born.
Become smartest man to ever live, there will he books about me for years to come
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build church.
spew bullshit.
make $.
overthrow templars.
make assassins order last 4eva & eva
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>>684242151
Travel to the closest village and explain my situation in a way they could understand

Tell them I come from a different realm
I have been made to starve my body of muscle and am lean with misuse of my body and require nourishment and a knight to train me
Explain that I need to prepare for a war on heretics in the future
They won the war and were transforming all men and women into faggots and wantons
I woulf try my best to have then explain their tongue to me
Next I would establish a school of mysticism essentially taking from stoicism and guide the tides of humanity toward evolution
Hopefully modern france or england or even spain is where Id end up... If spain Id want to investigate into who the cagots were and why theynwere persocuted
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>>684242151
So would i have been transported to the past with anything or am i just naked in the middle of nowhere? So would i have been transported to the past with anything or am i just naked in the middle of nowhere? So would i have been transported to the past with anything or am i just naked in the middle of nowhere? So would i have been transported to the past with anything or am i just naked in the middle of nowhere?
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>>684242151
Try score some pot
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>>684242665
See you in Hell, heretic :^)
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>>684242685
Only what you are wearing/have on you RIGHT now.
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>>684242811
You had me till over throw templars bit.

Buy them.
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>>684242151
Probably lend my services and historical/scientific knowledge to Edward III to finally rid the world of the French.
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>>684242151
Convince the Pope I am a messenger of god and with his help exterminate all jews and muslims.
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>>684242894
>>684242894
My thoughts exactly.
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>>684242996
...so nothing?
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>>684243551
I think you're thinking too hard about it.
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>>684243647
What happens to the air where I pop in? Does it get pushed away or does it exist at the exact same place as me and I explode?
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>everyone thinking they will be something meaningful but be burned in a pyre if they spoke of the future and their predictions came true...

We would all be more like this man at the beginning until we sort our shit out.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dOOTKA0aGI0
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>>684242151
Probably offer my services to any profession that requires reading and writing. That's the only skill I have (besides pretty good fitness) that would allow me to make a living.
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>>684242151

Teutonia.
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probably rape and kill a few people since its almost impossible to get caught
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>>684244070
Top kek. Whats this from?
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>>684244359
Oh yes, women start disappearing RIGHT after the stranger comes along. So hard to figure out.
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Find a king near where I appear then offer my services instructing him in military technology and whatever the fuck else he wants, hopefully he will reward me with a cushy position and last long enough for me to die first...or be replaced by someone friendly
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>>684244572
Yeah, he's set for a lynching.
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Probably scratch myself on a dirty twig, get an infection and die a horrible, painful death.
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>>684244501
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
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>>684244572
>>684244650
would do one bitch per village
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>>684244805
Ty anon. I'll give it a Watch.
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>>684242151
Convince everyone that I am God. Then, create a religion in which you worship Batman.
I will also convince them that superheroes exist and give them a Batman comic to get started with.
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>>684244882
What a deprived life you've lived if you haven't seen this, anon. Also watch Life of Brian

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFBOQzSk14c
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>>684244881
Villages were sparse and the road between them was very dangerous to travel. Outlaws roamed the roads, killing and stealing as they pleased. Thats where the term outlaw came from. They were "outside" the law. Who wants to search an endless wilderness for criminals and bring them to justice? Aint nobody got time fo dat.
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>>684245055
LOVED life of Brian. I just didn't recognise the faces of the people in the clip (low quality and watching on my phone)
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>>684242151
Try to make a living out of read/writing/cooking.
Would probably be rough, yet finally I would probably not be considered a manlet because of their malnutrition.
Also, a society where most of the people do not work when it is dark, a real plus.
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>>684244793
Drink water from a well, develop dysentery because my body is used to chlorinated fluoride treated water. Die a horrible painful death.
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>>684245401
See the part that says "assuming disease is not a problem."
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>>684245401
Try to convince peasants that the sun is the centre of the solar system, and that our spherical planet orbits around it. Be arrested for heresy and tied to a stake. Die a horrible painful death.
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>>684245104
then id be one of the outlaws.
simple as pie
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>>684245564
Try riding a horse for the first time because my feet have fallen arches and I'm too unfit to walk for more than a few hundred metres. Immediately fall off and paralyze myself. Die a horrible painful death.
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>>684242151
Realistically, dependent on where I spawn, I'd survive about 15 minutes. Brutal times back then, and me being a weak basmentdweller would get murdered in an instant-

As far as knowledge goes, I'd shut the fuck up about it, to not get burnt in a fire. Just stabbed in the back for my fancy cloathes or some other minor shit
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go live as a king in a remote secluded town filled of pure 8-20 year old virgins and have sex with every single one of them every day
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>>684245713
Try to keep up a rudimentary level of personal hygiene for my own comfort. Be caught by villagers and beaten soundly because bathing is for sissies and for wasting water. Die a horrible painful death
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>>684242151
Approach nearest alchemists guild, using my sketchy knowledge of chemistry, Latin and physics - start those fuckers on charcoal/saltpetre/sulphur mixes til we get it just right...
Visit blacksmiths and bellmakers with bag of coins from alchemists...
Well, you get where this is going - arms race staring a few centuries early should get humanities shit all retarded, eh?
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>>684245581
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play the meanest game of aoe2 you've ever seen
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>>684245564
As long as you kiss the Pope's ring, you'll be fine.
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Start talking philosophy
Get burnt at the stake.

Start blacksmithing and invent the steam engine.
Get beaten up and killed by the guild.

Start chemistry to invent dynamite.
Get killed by the guild.

Start a merc company.
Get killed because tou get used as cannon fodder.

Write all of Beethoven'music down.
Can't find any instruments but lutes and drums.

Cast better cannon, invent bagged charges and cast shot.
Get killed by the guilds.

Paint with perspective, light and realism.
Spend your life painting churches.
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>>684242151
Get to England

Provide details on how to make better guns and gunpowder and shells

Remove Kebab
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>>684246082
Gunpowder was already invented.
Cannons where used in battles before 1350.
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>>684246231
Probably get into a swordfight for whatever reason, try to block and parry like they've done in every Hollywood movie I've ever seen, immediately break sword in half because the steel of the time was woefully weak and they didn't get about smashing their weapons together. Get run through the belly by an experienced swordsman. Die a horrible painful death.
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Go to a village
ask if they need help farming
farm the shit out of fields
build a wooden house, settle
pay taxes to monthly tax collector
marry to a villagegirl, shes underage ofc
life a hard but happy life
Sometimes go to the city, means the closest castle to put some ideas in weapon production/technology so my kingdom wont get overthrown and the villages burnt down.

Pray to god
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Remove kebab
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Try mating and mixing genes with gentiles.
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>>684246551
Okay, how about shaped-grain powders for more even burn? How about using lost wax casting and internal forming to make pseudo-rifled barrels? How about forging techniques to improve metal quality, more reliable mechanical components, more lethal projectiles?

My point was that even my rudimentary knowledge of firearms would make the equivalent of fucking "Q" from the Bond movies compared to the shit-scratchings of most "scientists" of the times...
Picky as fuck anon, picky as fuck.
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>>684246740
then fuck ur daughter and ur daughters daughters and so on and so forth out live them all kill all ur sons with ur future proofed dna good to go for a repeat dosage for a few generations at the least im thinking like 25, find first child bridge wife low as possible asap
get a good 5 generations of fucking ur own daughters, kiling err i mean still birthing the sons
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If I popped into existence right where I am now?

I'd run the fuck away from the Scots... murderous bastards
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alt breed sons and sell them to enslavement with proven genes over the course of 50 years build an empire off the sale and use of slavekin

nestle somewhere south or east of the balkans ~thrace dacia towards mid east etc get dat trade
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>>684247131
Join me with Edward III and kill the Scotts and the French. 100 Years War was a great time to be alive.
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>>684247101
i kill black people like you of course, no worries, afterlife is a life too
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Use reading and writing skills to find employment as a scribe or something on those lines that pays enough to get by, but won't attract a lot of attention.
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>>684242873

This is the stupidest thing I have read all week. Good work, I guess.
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>>684242873
Nice. Napoleon is still going to fuck up your plans, though.
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>>684245564
underrated post
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>>684242151
>become priest
>enjoy being untouchable
>move to a comfy German town in the mountains
>use woodworking skills around my house
>work in my garden
>hunt
>befriend the locan lord
>enjoy young aryan pussy
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