Hey /b/, depressed faggot with anxiety here in need of some advice.
What do you do when all your friends live really far away, life is dry as fuck, not much money, games aren't fun anymore, can't get pussy, can't go out without freaking out and can't kill yourself because you're scared of dying and hurting the few parts of family you have even though you really want to?
The idea of it really makes me worried, like I said I don't want to hurt the people around me.
I've only smoked weed a few times and it wasn't that interesting.
Pretty heavy drinker, but I don't drink with people a lot, usually alone
drinking alone is the way to go imho
im not really suicidal but i think about it every other day. i made it my resolution to not hurt my mother with that choice thou. i guess she would blame herself no matter how elaborate my last letter would be. no way im doing that to the one person who loves me with all her heart.
Life´s shit and meaningless but i still cant do that to her
OP here figured I'd mention a few things
Weed and alcohol only have a sort of half effect on me, I can only get so buzzed no matter how much I drink/smoke but I always end up on suicidal thoughts.
My family is a complete fuckfest of bad shit to summarise and there's only 2 people left in it and I'm decently close with them.
The thing that fucks me the most though is that I had this awful on/off thing with a girl for 3 years that I was completely in love with and she said it was the same back, though for those 3 years she played me in so many fucking ways and did nothing but hurt me. At the end of it she chose some guy I've never heard of over me out of nowhere when I tried being with her in person since it was long distance. I'm still obsessed over her and it's been months since this happened
any interests keep you going?
maybe sounds stupid but im really curious about how the world and technology is going to evolve....just think about what happend in the last 20-30 years and image how much has is going to change in the next 20....dont want to miss it
Take a flight to Portugal. From there, backpack to South Korea. If you make it, it'll be a life changer. If you dje, well, you have figured our a way of killing yourself without killing yourself.
I did it from 2011-2013 after I failed college and it saved my life.
Traveling is an interesting idea but the bad parts of your suggestion are that:
I'm anxious as hell around people
Even if I can die, it'll still hurt those 2 family members and I just can't do that
find new things you might love, move on with the girl that hurt you and try to find someone new. go out a little more each day; you can overcome anxiety by this, just try harder. you can do it.