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ITT: We come up with powers and /b/ limits...
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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ITT: We come up with powers and /b/ limits your power.

Ill start
I can turn into a plane, it can be any plane.
>>
>>684008742
It'll crash with no survivors
>>
>>684009241
kek

Also i can teleport anywhere
>>
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>>684008742

>teleport anywhere.

Yeah teleport anywhere that is more than 90% muslim lel

The power of hawt men errywhar
>>
>>684009379
It can be anywhere, you just dont have any control over where you go.

>Hey jim can you go get beer?
>Sure let me just teleport to the store
>NOPE, you teleport to fucking saturn

My dick can turn into a drill
>>
>>684009379
But no items with you including clothes.
>>
>>684009688
It can only turn counter clockwise. It's sharpened to go in clockwise.
>>
I can move at extreme speeds
>>
>>684009848
only with your eyes closed.
>>
>>684009848
You can only go north.

I have control over gravity
>>
>>684009848
But when you do, you turn into a nigger
>>
I can breathe
>>
>>684009848
friction causes your skin too peal off

Laseer eys for me!
>>
>>684010085
You can't turn them off.
>>
>>684010077
rocks your can breathe rocks
>>
>>684010077
But you can only breathe through your asshole
>>
i can speak fluent in any language without consequence
>>
I am spider man
>>
I can breathe underwater
>>
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>>684010085
You have literal eyes made of lasers

I can build walls of any size made out of any material instantly.
>>
>>684010513
but the web only shoots out of your peehole.
>>
>>684010513
You get your head bitten off after sex
>>
>>684010503
you have swear word tourettes
>>
>>684010524
but you are a fish
>>684010513
but you are a spider who thinks he's a man
>>
>>684010579
but only if there's enough mexicans on the other side.
>>
>>684010579
...but they come out of your ass, slowly.
It is painful but never permanently damages
>>
>>684010503
You only can speak languages you know 1000 words at minimum (isn't a consequence it's a condition)

I know everything. I'm omniscient
>>
I can shapeshift
>>
>>684010822
knowing your relative effect on the universe and the day that you will die keeps you in debilitating depressed states for your entire life
>>
>>684010823
Only into niggers or traps
>>
>>684010823
But only into child toys

I can shit at any time i want, any consistency i want, and any size i want
>>
>>684010968
He'd know a way to deal with that since he is omniscient.
>>
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The power of getting dubs, please.
>>
>>684011060
he'd be too debilitated to actually follow through with it
>>
>>684010968
Kek
I've been depressed my whole life
>>
>>684011008
But you cant wipe your butthole
>>
Your shit sings "Kung Fu Fighting" for 90 minutes straight after dropping out of your anus.
>>
>>684011139
You only can get dubs in get threads

I can get dubs anywhere
>>
Everyone trusts me 100%
>>
>>684011491
But only in games
>>
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>>684011469
You can only get dubs while jerking off.
>also, check 'em
>>
>>684011646
He just need to see life as a game
>>
Whatever I think happens irl
>>
>>684011491
But everyone still wants to kill you.

I can shit out solid gold turds.
>>
>>684010010
You have to be touching what is currently the ground.
>>
>>684011675
Okay. Maybe I can only get dubs in get threads, now.
R.I.P.
>>
I can move at the speed of time.
>>
>>684011675
I'm jerking off right now
Check em
>>
>>684011760
But they explode when in contact with oxygen
>>
>>684011740
You don't exist, you don't think.
>>
I can control the probability of any outcome including situations
>>
>>684011760
But you have an extra organ which produces gold, it takes years to form a 23lb brick and you carry it around like you're pregnant. Also you need to consume 5 times as much water and food, and you are prone to heart attacks as the organ is right under the heart. One hard bump and it's curtains.

I have ultra fast reflexes
>>
>>684012167
If you get a blackjack your dick falls off.
>>
>>684012167
The probability of activating your powers are 1/1000000000 and u can't control it
>>
>>684008742
Good mental health.
>>
Everything i say appears as "speech bubbles"

>inb4 stupid super power

I know, everything said is common. I wanted to change it up.
>>
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>>684011646
Jokes on you: I have no real life anyways.
>>
>>684008742
wings installed backwards.
>>684009379
as long as you can see where you a porting too
>>684009637
but your actually not a faggot.
>>684009688
that weighs 2 tons.
>>684009848
but only when your high on meth....
>>684010010
but only when there are no other gravitational poles within a light year of yourself. (still really fucking usefull)
>>684010503
but only in mexico
>>684010513
before he was bitten
>>684010524
in fish tanks
>>684010085
only while looking at pictures of men ejaculating.
>>684010579
as long as you have 100 mexicans working simultaniously
>>684010822
but have given up your corporeal form, and can no longer communicate with corporeal beings.
>>684010823
into /b/'s collective dildo
>>684011008
no regulations.
>>684011139
fail
>>684011469
fail more
>>684011491
because your a sociopath.
>>684011740
your an emo kid
>>684011760
they each weigh 6 tons and there is no medical procedure to repair your asshole.
>>684011847
...... >at the speed of time.
you mean microwave time right?
>>684012167
while running backwards on a treadmill in a gay gym


>i can squirt Tabasco sauce out of my eyeball.
>>
>>684012424
Shitty physical health

I have the power of explosions
>>
>>684012364
Time is accelerated at 20000x times
>>
>>684012364
while masturbating.
>>
>>684012405
He can control it dumbass
>>
>>684012534

rectally.
>>
>>684012533
But your eye squirts out at the same time.
>>
>>684012533
>you mean microwave time right?
No I mean I can move at the speed at which time advances, but consciously.
>>
>>684012534
You aren't immune to explosions.
>>
>>684012482
>Everything i say appears as "speech bubbles"
when they pop, you forget what you said.
>>
I shit money
>>
I have the power to make jet fuel melt steel beams
>>
>>684012807
Kek
>>
>>684012726
so..... like... you can walk around?
>>
>>684012817
only pennies come out
>>
>>684012533
>because you're a sociopath
If at all this adds to my super power of everyone trusting me. That's basically the perfect human.
>>
>>684012867
ABANDON THREAD!
>>
I have the ability to turn seconds into microwave time.
>>
i can fold a piece of paper 9 times
>>
>>684013006
Only while holding a bowl of macaroni and cheese
>>
>>684012956
no.... that wasn't a stipulation.

im saying you are a sociopath.
>>
>>684012891
Well yeah, but at the speed of time. When I activate my power I can travel at the rate at which time advances no matter where I am in the world, but when my powers aren't active I just walk around normally because time is carrying me along.

It's not rocket science anon.
>>
>>684013044
PLEASE SEE >>684012980
>>
>>684013006
all microwaves you encounter dont have a custom button and pressing a number will only time x about of minutes
>>
>>684013088
A highly functional one.
>>
>>684013044
but your finger have to deal with excruciating pain
>>
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>>684009241
>>
>>684013088
Arent we all?
>>
I can grow hair on the inside of my eye lids.
>>
>>684013408
they can become susceptible to lice
>>
>>684013408
The hairs grow on the back of scorpions.
>>
>>684013099
TIME HAS NO SPEED.......
time is relative based on a personal trajectory when influenced by a gravitational force (im drunk this isnt the real definition)

time has no speed i think your thinking of light.

>am i being hurrdedurred?
>>
>>684013408
irreversible
>>
I can build and immunity to anything, even my limits within seconds.


LIMIT ME FGT
>>
>>684013353
i am not.
>>684013235
most are. still doesnt change the fact you lack empathy.
>>
>>684013558
No, god damn it anon. Think of it in terms of standing in a river. When you move downstream you are actively moving down stream. That is my power, I can move with the current with no resistance, but naturally if I stop moving completely the current will carry me along.
>>
>>684013756
So you mean like auto pilot? That's retarded
>>
>>684013739
What is empathy anyways? When I see someone cry, I know they need comfort and I know something is wrong. When someone looks worried, I know he needs help. How is rational "empathy", effectively, different from "real" empathy?
>>
>>684013739
Youre on /b/

On some level waaaaaaay deep down, you are.
>>
>>684013600
You will die from cancer in exactly one second.
>>
>>684013600
your grammar is always poor
your immunity is too strong and everything gives you allergies
>>
>>684013600
only by having your testicle crushed with a vice grip.....
(you get two immunities)
>>
I have the power to have any power i want.
>>
>>684013888
How are you not getting this? Holy shit.
>>
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>>684013888
>>
>>684013977
You get said power only after youre dead.
>>
>>684013977
You have brittle bones.

Your brittle bones are the source of your power.
>>
>>684013558
>TIME HAS NO SPEED
Of course it has and it's relative to space and therefore gravity.
>>
>>684013977
but anyone can limit you to a single power at any time
>>
>>684013756
>thinking time = a none molecular form of water.

go read about the event horizon of a black hole and its affect on interstellar time keeping then we can keep talking.

time is relative...
time is not fluid.

time is not something to be ridden.

you talking about a superpower to sit in one place and watch a clock...
>>
>>684014400
Yeah I'm gonna take lessons in quantum physics from a 13 year old on /b/ who read a Wikipedia article.
>>
Particle Manipulation
>>
>>684014361
let me correct my earlier statement.

time has no constant speed.
its like saying i have the power to move at the speed of purple.

>well the light waves of purple move at a speed of 2100 hz/sec blahblahblah

no just no.
>>
>>684014695
You can only manipulate fart particles with your nose.
>>
>>684014572
26, and i think physics and time mechanics are interesting.

also neurology but that really doesnt have a place in this discussion.

>>684014695
>poo particle manipulation.
>>
>>684014695
only what you are touching with your hands
>>
>>684014797
Then I would manipulate the fart particals into the known universe and then I would destroy my nose
>>
>>684015070
you can't stop the fart particles
fart particles are eternal
>>
>>684014976
I'm always touching air particles
>>
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>>684014695
Pic related only. Also only while in physical contact.
>>
The power of OP
>>
>>684015379
you can only suck black dicks.
>>
>>684014695
Only in nebraska
>>
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>>684015379
But you have to sucks twice as many cocks.
>>
>>684015379
>cannot stop sucking dicks.
> makes endless YlYL threads.


damn.
..... worst superpower here.
>>
>>684015524
Kek

I can control one magma.
>>
i can bring hitler back from the dead
>>
>>684015215
let me be more especific:
only the closest layer of particles that surrounds your hands, and yeah that pretty much means you can control the air arround you at any time
>>
>>684008742
be everywhere at every time and has the universe existing within
>>
>>684015725
He comes back as a Jew-lover.
>>
>>684015379
You are buttfucked by 30 feminine penises every time you post.

I have the power to change Pepsi into Coke.
>>
>>684015656
Only in Nebraska
>>
>>684015656
You have to determine how much volume and mass this "one magma" is

I am immune to all diseases and poisons
>>
>>684015725
you need to find a new body for him everytime
>>
The power to change probabilities.
>>
I can turn invisible whenever I want for however long I want
>>
>>684015866
You turn it only into flat coke.

Have the ability to turn water into wine at will.
>>
>>684015866
You can't taste the difference.
>>
>>684015725
He can only live for 30 seconds and thinks hes having a bat mitzvah
>>
>>684015730
Then I would make the air around me a very small but potent layer of poison and give everyone I see a hug
>>
>>684016090
Some Romans crucify you.
>>
>>684013756
So you can control time? You arent making this clear anon
>>
>>684015888
You have a fatal allergy to everything
>>
the power to turn kyle into a chicken
>>
>>684016136
nice jojo shit
godspeed anon
>>
>>684016136
>direct every particle away from your skin layer for layer until the things you want to manipulate are the closest particle
>>
I have the power to fly by fart propulsion
And I am VERY gassy
>>
>>684016414
you don't know who your dad is
>>
>>684016112
Coke is more acidic. Next time you drink one hold it on your tongue for a few seconds. Youll see what i mean.
>>
>>684015976
It turns on randomly and it doesn't work for your entire body
>>
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I can phase through walls.
>>
>>684016622
No, you don't understand, that's your limitation.
>>
>>684015976
Only for your dick and only when horny
>>
>>684016494
and thats why particle manipulation is the most OP power of all
>>
>>684016514
Power granted

I'll forever be 25.
>>
>>684016685
While singing the national anthem of nigeria a capella.
>>
>>684016685
Except your testicles
>>
>>684016685
only for 1 second each time or you get perma-stuck
>>
>>684012867
You can only do it when nobody is watching
>>
>>684016514
You randomly stop farming in mid air and fall from what ever height you're in during the fart. Also every fart makes you fly, even ones you try to cover and hide.
>>
>>684016776
Sorry, misread your post. I thought you said
>I cant taste the difference.
>>
>>684016933
but your mind and body will still age
>>
>>684016776
I was going to make cocaine anyway.
>>
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I can transform into the opposite gender.
>>
the power to 404 this thread
>>
>>684016933
but your brain de-ages
>>
>>684016685
The walls are only allowed to be made of wood
>>
use will power to get all the powers
>>
I can communicate with animals
>>
>>684017190
You can.
>>
>>684017190
You can only switch between Tumblrina and Fedorafag.

I have Alex Mercer's Powers.
>>
>>684017294
but they don't respond
>>
>>684017190
But you're known as tranny tom
>>
>>684017294
They hate you and always say mean things.
>>
>>684017294
through written messages
>>
>>684017294
They all hate you.
>>
immune to bullets
>>
I can look through wooden doors.
>>
>>684017294
can't communicate with people
>>
>>684017520
My apologizes forgot to post my reply. You may be immune to bullets but you step on a landmine.
>>
>>684017520
but the flash of a gun burns your bones from the inside
>>
>>684017520
you have to build up this immunity to bullets by shoting yourself with smaller bullets
>>
>>684017535
only when they are open
>>
>>684017520
but not the force of the impact
>>
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>>684017535
Only on boats
>>
>>684017326
You are stuck in the middle of the sun.
>>
>>684017535
but you have to open them first
>>
the power to predict all changes in the stock market
>>
>>684017231
i am limitless. fear me.
>>
I can shoot a missile out of my eye.
>>
I can control people
>>
I can give any woman squirting orgasms with my penis.
>>
>>684017810
but you will never make money from it
>>
>>684017810
You forget how to write and speak
>>
>>684017810
Youre wrong every time
>>
>>684017827
only 1
>>
>>684017827
It's too big to make it out and explodes in your skull, making quite a mess.
>>
>>684017827
head explodes
>>
>>684017827
You can't stop it once you start
>>
>>684017810
it's only works for stock that relate to quasi legal terrorist dildos
>>
>>684017909
people can control you
>>
>>684017827
You no longer have eyeballs
>>
>>684017827
You shoot one too close to an enemy and blow yourself up in the process.
>>
>>684017916
lose all interest in women
>>
>>684017672
I'll eventually get out.
>>
>>684017909
but only stupid people
>>
>>684017827
The flames from the propulsion burn your eyes out
>>
>>684017294
Only in Cantonese

I can shoot lasers
>>
the ability to control the speed of time around me, while i move and normal speed
>>
>>684017810
Get thrown in jail for insider trading
>>
>>684018320
everything is at absolute zero when you use this ability
>>
>>684018281
through your urethra
>>
>>684018281
You feel the pain when you do
>>
the power to set things aflame with the power of my mind
>>
I have unparalleled eyesight and can see things from extreme distances
>>
>>684018670
lose all other senses
>>
>>684018670
You can now prove the Earth is flat but no one believes you.
>>
>>684018659
your ability is powered by your mind. you literally use the electricity from your neurons and surgery.
>>
>>684018659
You have to be within 2 feet
>>
>>684018670
You see things that make you want to die

I have telekinesis
>>
>>684018659
You're constantly thinking about your dick.
>>
>>684018840
Your body becomes crippled
>>
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I can throw rocks really hard.
>>
>>684018840
you can only move things that nobody would notice you moving.
>>
>>684008742
>I can turn into a plane, it can be any plane.

Sky pirates assemble.
>>
>>684018955
Couldn't I simulate movement with my Telekinesis?
>>
the power of unbreakable bones
>>
>>684019050
When you "die", you don't move on to the next realm. You just become an eternal, living and moving skeleton.
>>
>>684019024
That would get annoying after a while though
>>
>>684018987
your aim sucks, bruh
>>
>>684018987
because you are literally a human-sized arm
>>
>>684019195
and he's mad spooky
>>
>>684019050
Your bones might not break, but your mental state breaks easily now
>>
>>684019195
i would be the most powerful skeleton of all
>>
>>684017231
Ur still a fgt
>>
self-cleaning anus power
>>
I have a precognitive danger-sense
(like SpiderMan)
>>
>>684019444
Without a brain or nerves. Historians would shit bricks finding your bones
>>
>>684019444
A powerful skeleton that is forced to see all his loved ones die and is unable to join them in the sweet release of death.
>>
i have 3.6 megajoules of power
>>
>>684019630
It works 6 hours a head of time
>>
>>684013333
how has no one checked these quads

chkt
>>
>>684019630
You're never in danger.
>>
>>684019630
but no physical reactions
>>
>>684019630
you're a masochist
>>
>>684019590
It wipes really hard
>>
>>684019590
During sex, your partner(s) (is/are) forced to watch

>>684019630
Only a millisecond before it happens
>Oh, is that a bulle-
>>
I can create any game I want and make money out of it.
>>
>>684019945
Oh, it that a bulle-
You mean
>O-
>>
>>684020084
All of them gain shitty tumblr fanbases
>>
>>684020084
Its CoD.
>>
>>684008742
> I can turn into a plane, it can be any plane.

Any cartesian plane.
>>
>>684018320
The particles in your skin perform fission with your skin, and you cause a nuclear explosion.
>>
>>684020084
it takes the same amount of time it would have taken you to make, and the money you make can be negative
>>
>>684020177
...I'm allowing him to speak really, really fast
>>
>>684020220
>Can create any game I want

Jeez...think before you post.
>>
>>684020084
You're too lazy to do it.
>>
>>684020455
I fail to see the problem
>>
>>684020084
you must first sacrifice a person to the video game gods
>>
the power of above average fingernail hardness
>>
>>684020656
Meaning that no one can decide what games I create.

I would accepted

>But ur a fgt
>Since ur a fgt u make mostly trap dating simulator games
>>
I can manipulate the stock exchange to behave however I chose for vast profits of my own financial gain
>>
>>684021041
the government knows about your power, and harvests your brain for studying purposes
>>
>>684021041
it's a felony
>>
>>684017231
But every post you open in the future will be a repost
>>
I can make anyone's bank account automatically transfer all their money into mine.
>>
>>684021591
can't spend a penny on yourself
>>
>>684010347
so literally a turtle
>>
>>684021591
it's traceable
>>
>>684021591
easily trackable, arrested after first attempt
>>
>>684021733
I would just threaten to do it to govt officials if they busted me on it.
>>
>>684017916
But ur a faggot

I can convince anyone to vote Trump
>>
>>684021851
that's a good way to get "removed"
all money will be returned to it's owners after your death
>>
>>684021948
But if you use this skill, 'murica is never great again.


I can piss high quality gasoline in any quantity.
>>
>>684021948
as long as they are under 18 or felons
>>
>>684018670
You can only see things at extreme distance
>>
>>684022155
you must first consume the same quantity of gasoline
>>
I can grow a turtle shell out of my back
>>
>>684022155
gasoline causes rashes and swelling
>>
>>684022397
become entangled in a rivalry with The Foot Clan
>>
>>684021948
But you have to give a piece of your soul to a B-List celebrity every time
>>
>>684022397
But it's completely useless
>>
>>684020957
Nigger I understood that
And for every game, it would get a shitty tumblr fanbase

What is there to not understand, you nigger?
Sorry, I think you have some chicken bones stuck in your ears from your kfc and eggo orgy.
>>
X-Ray Vision
>>
>>684023278
you can only see disowned members of billy ray cyrus's family
>>
>>684023278
But only when very drunk
>>
>>684023278
eye cancer ofcourse
>>
>>684023278
You can only see things in an X pattern.

My penis penetrates time and space, where ever I want.
>>
>>684023696
the rest of your body can't travel with it
>>
I can make women shut up just by looking at them.
>>
>>684011157
>can god make a rock so large he cant lift it
its actually a pretty foolproof power.
>>
>>684023889
But only during regular workday hours
>>
>>684023889
you are a rapist, and you are constantly angry and holding a weapon
>>
>>684012533
Your eyes are always closed
>>
>>684023889
all women scream at the top of their voice when you aren't looking
>>
>>684024148
The weapon never has it's ammunition, blade, or part that hurts people.
Power to get dubs whenever you want.
>>
>>684008742

Turds come out of my ass at 5400 fps and they're hard as a rock. My lower intestine is rifled so they're incredibly accurate.
>>
>>684024554
but only irl
Thread replies: 295
Thread images: 15
Thread DB ID: 37829



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