I think I will be fine. And I hope I get some of that sweet sweet Asian booty that is in every episode
Jean Luc Picard - oh lucky day
prob dead but w/E
Specials Agent Mulder and Scully
im okay with this
There is no way I'm going to die
Rod Serling. Im dead as is he.
Karl ''head like a fucking orange'' Pilkington.
He'll not only rescue me, and give me a free job, but he will deport the filthy spic that kidnapped me. Check em.
Ben Talmadge, From TURN: Washington's Spies. I'm Safe.
Lucifer from the TV show "Lucifer" is going to save me. My kidnappers have no chance in Hell. A fallen angel is going to fuck them up and free me, and he is going to punish them for being wicked.
Fucking witnessed and saved for posterity
I have a literal knight coming to my rescue.
I watched the news and caught a glimpse of Kim Jong-un
rip you magnificent bastard
Because he's a shitty american midget with a chip on his shoulder who is constantly trying to prove that everyone else is inferior and that he's a real actor, while really he is utterly insecure.
Still, he'll live a more fruitful life than me.
Shit! I'm outta luck!
Last thing I watched was it's always sunny in Philadelphia, and I'm pretty sure it was Frank I saw last.
Series first you cocksmokihg millenial.
Now watch as he searches frantically for it, spends an hour reading wikipedia and imdb then returns to interrupt a thread with his superior aeon flux knowledge.
Yes, I'm controlling you. Try to resist searching for it.
Well I'm shit outta luck. Wtf is he going to do? Build a wall around me and keep me in captivity?
Pros: He will come riding on a flock of eagles, and narrate the entire rescue.
Cons: He will take 3 months, because he has to film it.
Pros: A devoted army of millions, all willing to die at his command.
Cons: He will rescue you, but take you directly to a prison camp for being a decadent westerner.
Ooh, I get to be saved by a strong and powerful woman.
I'll definitely reward her with carnal knowledge.
I might be okay? Depends on how badly he needs me for something.
I won and you are too afraid to admit it.
I have altered the course of your life.
Every time you want to split off about something from now on, you'll hesitate.
Every time you start searching for clarification of your own arrogance-penetrating doubts, you'll remember me.
You'll wish you never posted against the aeon fluxor.
You might as well screenshot these posts to revisit for years to come.
A kind of ritual.
Hmm... I might be okay, if he offers me a drink I'm telling him to fuck off though
gonna be ok
I think i will be fine
Yesterday Daniel San from The Karate Kid films tried to rescue me and probably got himself killed. Not a TV show, but I hardly watch TV so had to settle for this and now it's time for a re-roll.
>If odds, Daniel San's corpse will twitch slightly
>if evens, Mr Miyagi will rescue me and heal Daniel San with his strange hand-clapping magic
>If dubs, the Cobra Kai will burst from Daniel San's corpse having used him as a trojan horse all along and complete the rescue.
>spent quarter of an hour carrfully constructing this post, perhaps even watched 2 seconds of bare grills on youchube just so he wasn't completely lying to himself.
>will never be funny
He'll do his absolute best but fail miserably, while the chips just kind of fall into place and he and the kidnapper have a nice heart to heart talk with you ultimately getting freed by the kidnapper's volition.
You'll be okay anyway. It might just take a while.
He would probably ask me to check my privilege and ask me to stop being so racist towards my kidnappers by resisting.
Let me ask you a question: you're a hostage, captured by terrorists. You're in the little room, you're chained to the floor, you're there for a long time.. do you think they would ever consider doing the laundry?
Just find some way to work a John Cena joke next time you talk to your kidnapper. You have to give him the opportunity to smash his way into the room to the sound of trumpets.
Hes coming with his portal gun, adventures will ensue
Everyone you like is going to end up dead, brother.
Whether it's the end of the first season or the final episode of the 5th season.
No reason why I picked those particular examples.
could be worse at least it isn't trump. your family would have to watch you and your kidnappers on a shit reality TV show. You'd eventually get killed and the show would get cancelled.
you're a little late to the thread anon
Yes, on Netflix. Just watched an episode where a soldier who tried to kill him found redemption in killing his evil commander, and now watching one where a kid gets in trouble with the police for something someone else did, and Macgyver is trying to set it straight.
not sure. I guess depends if it's funnier if I get rescued or killed.
Well, I'll be saved but I'll be fucked to hell before it happens. Hell the actual saving probably would be an accident. Portal guns though.
Lorelei Gilmore. I'm married, and apparently fucked.