Sup /b/
AMA thread
I am a vigilante in my city and use a mask like this one.
I've been shot, stabbed, beaten and broken but I'm still alive and don't want to stop.
>phoenix jones is my hero
What caused you to want to become a vigilante?
>>683957835
>i havent left my parents house and i yearn to imagine feeling like a superhero xp
Anyways, how warm do you like your Tendies?
how does feel to be such an edgelord.
>watched kickass
>becomes vigilante
>thinks hes cool
>thinks hes actually helping
Does the toilet paper go over or under?
>>683957835
Why dont you paint graffiti instead
>>683957835
cool, are you ready for real life joker when he breaks out of jail?
>>683958466
over if you value your life
do you remember the time that i spilled the cup?
Of apple juice?
In the hall?
Please tell mom this is not her fault.
>>683957835
Seriously I think it's crazy, borderline awesome and stupidity.
>>683958293
but morally speaking he's lapping you, say he's lying. Some no-lifer might actually be inspired by this.
and then we get something new to watch on the news. win win
>>683958003
I got stabbed in a mugging once, after that I lived in fear for about a year until I got the idea.
>>683958003
the world is diseased
i am the cure
do you have a real job
>>683958085
Fresh out the oven
>>683958779
>>683958779
>>683958779
Someone put this quote over a Sonic character from DeviantArt please
>>683958861
a real job is something that keeps people from fighting crime
>>683958293
It's actually indescribable but it feels good, even after all the scars
>>683958466
Over
>>683957835
What are you gonna do if someone finds out where you live, and by extension everyone you know?
>>683957835
why are you not working?
are you that good tha whole city is clean?
>>683958527
I cant draw and tagging is for faggots
>>683958779
SCP-049 detected.
>>683958948
I can walk the street at night knowing my local Painters, Carpenters, Plumbers, Welders and Actors are keeping the streets safe from crime.
God bless.
>>683959024
i live in the streets, i know only my duty
>>683959087
ur ghey. bet u dont even have big cums
>>683958575
I actually don't think I could take on someone like the Joker, he's crazy as fuck.
I've dealt with meth-heads and crazys like that but they're not masterminds
I wish I had some of Batman's gear haha
>>683957835
Bullshit.
Oh damn, I suck at forming questions. Let me try again:
Saged.
Aw fuck. I'll get it right.
>>683957835
>ITT: Overweight depressed Anon plays pretend for a few hours to make it through another sweaty, basement-dwelling day
>>683957835
Since of Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"-------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body muscle movement caused/since of energies at human caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity of in of body so...body muscle flexing of human of living of tensing/slackening of muscle;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/-------"_:-_
I got/received a text of communication/question/ask of technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies of machines far of miles:_"\_ Everyone knows this already. How do you fix it. _/"_:-_ . I am of communication/answer/reply of letter of word of language of text of:_"\_ Humans of policing/military live of:_[\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles since of brain of body of since of human of living of brain of body of since of sense/sensation of communication/text/speech of computer program software of language of words of anything/everything/eachthing/allthings of human of living of _{-\_[-\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles _/-]_{--\_[--\_ and _/--]_ and _[--\_ or _/--]_/--}_[-\_ flexing of muscles so of living of muscle of nearer and and or farther of muscle _/-]_/-}_/]_:-_/"_:-_
>>683959295
don't talk to me like that, i've saved your life more times than you know
>>683959396
The only thing you've saved are the cold leftovers from when your Mom went to Applebees
Sage
>>683958861
I actually do, Im in marketing. I also have an apartment and a car. I'm a normal guy
>>683959559
this made me laugh even though it was stupid
gg anon
>>683959024
I plan my stuff very carefully. I actually have (what I like to call) Checkpoints in some parts of the city where I can lay low if I feel returning home is not a safe option.
>>683958466
Under you faggit
>>683959066
I'me at home right now resting up before going out tonight, gotta get my gear ready and make sure it works.
I dont work 24/7 on this, my goal is not to rid all of crime, I just want to help as much as I can
>>683960049
> help as much as I can
> on 4chan
Sooooooo, not at all?
>>683960170
the wicked rotting in their graves would beg to differ
>>683959832
Ok but I mean like, -IF-, they find out where you actually live, and again by extension, everyone you know
Like I'm curious, what's you contingency for that matter really... seeing how you "live in the streets" and "know only your duty"
>>683960049
Show us a pic of the mask, and what you carry along.
>inb4 'no that would blow my cover'
>>683960286
if they try anything, the city burns
>>683960243
BWAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOD MY SIDES MY FUCKING SIDES HOW CAN ANYONE BE THIS RETARDED OH FUCK MY SIDES
>>683960389
Are you a 15 year old emo kid who uses Tumblr?
What the fuck are you?
>>683960389
So basically everything up until someone finds out where you live means you just turn the other side of the coin and blame the friggin city?
>>683960170
I'm not a comic book character or super human
I work on a schedule, mostly by night because I work during the day. Last night I didn't patrol because I went out with friends for drinks.
I am a person too, sometimes I go to the movies or restaurants and shit, I know I'm not gonna stop all the crime or take down Mobs and corrupt politicians.
I just do what I can when I can. I have to live my life too, you know, in case I get killed someday for doing this.
>>683960570
the city has always been wicked
i will cleanse it one way or another
Your mask look like a serial rapist mask
>>683960501
i am the last hope this city has
>>683960286
I live alone, my family lives overseas.
I have friends but I mostly go to their houses, my house has stuff I can't show them.
Its a small studio apartment and doesn't have a lot of space for hiding stuff.
>>683960876
to fight evil you must blend in with it, first
>>683960330
I'd rather not
>>683960760
So..... by that logic... you started off trying to keep the city clean...(to which I'm assuming by killing people on the spot with no prior judgement)
And now people have to deal with a failed superhero who can't keep his shit together?
>>683959263
well james holmes after he breaks out of prison will become the joker
2020 mark my words
>>683958466
Over in the northern hemisphere, under in the southern hemisphere
>>683960950
So essentially if your friends get into trouble, fuck them right? "Because that ain't me, the fuck do I care? I'm a superhero"
Op are you in houston ?
>>683961047
the people brought themselves to the precipice
pushing them over has little to do with the situation as it stnads
>>683961196
justice has no friends
>>683961237
i am in the hearts and minds of good people everywhere
>>683961270
Yeah because thats what Pheonix Jones wouldve done.
Seriously, plan your shit.
You're about as reliable as a school shooter....
>>683961547
if i cannot save the city from itself it does not deserve to be saved at all
>>683960655
Sooooooooooo, you're full of shit?
Are you EMH?
>>683961702
you wouldn't say that to my mask
not if you wanted to have a nice day
>>683959263
I can build gear OP, you live in the Pacific Northwest?
>>683961196
I'm no superhero
If nothing has happened to them so far I doubt that it will now. A few years ago I was clumsier and less prepared than I am now.
I make sure they are always safe
>>683961669
That pathetic logic.
thats like "If I can't eat this apple, I might as well stick it up the farmer's ass"
>>683961786
i am the last white blood cell in an aids infected city
>>683961237
I am somewhere in Europe, won't say where
There's two of them one giving shot answers in tag lines and the other who is actually the OP
>>683961877
you haven't seen the things i've seen
the farmer's ass is the least of my worries
>>683961868
See this is a scenario if something did happened to them.
When you start shit like this, you better damn well finish it. Responsibility. It's like the first fucking step and you managed to shrug it off trying to orchestrate this bullshit.
>>683961801
I would fucking say it to your face. Cos you're a neckbearded pussy bitch. And you'd be a total hypocrite killing me in response. I don't do illegal shit, kike.
Try that shit here in Idaho and see what happens.
>>683961702
If you see it that way, then yes. Maybe
How many dangerous people have you stopped?
>>683958779
you are an awesome individual.
>>683962140
i finish crime every damn night
who are you to question me?
>>683962182
your edges will not save you
i am justice
>>683962215
What, is this a fucking dick measuring contest now?
I already won cos I'm not too fat to leave my house unlike you, fucking nigger kike.
>>683961838
Somewhere in Europe, wont say where.
I appreciate the gesture
>>683962215
every single one i've come across
>>683962374
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>683962267
Who are you to play judgement on your friends and familty?
and yeah i bet you "finish" them alright
>>683962585
Was that a sex joke? Classic, anon. +1 interweb for you
>>683962585
i am the one who removes the filth from my city
friends and family are unfortunate - though necessary - sacrifices
>idiots in this thread not realizing half the responses in this thread are a troll & half the responses are op
Keep on keeping on op. World needs more people to take to the streets imo cause the cops aren't doing fuckall.
>>683962140
I see what you are saying, I've thought about this too. Doing what I do is not easy, I've been injured many times and always have had to lie to them so they don't dig deeper into my life.
Thats why whenever I start patrol and end it I do it away from any trace of my civilian life.
Like I've said, if after a couple of years nothing has happened to them I doubt it will now
>>683962523
laugh while you can
soon there will only be weeping and gnashing of teeth
>>683962761
Oh shut the fuck up
>>683958751
This is a mess...
>>683963007
No you
>>683963026
it's messes like that which i seek to clean up
>>683963124
You clean up sandwiches?
>>683963007
>>683963214
when that is what the city needs
>>683962982
Riiiiiiiiiiight. Sure, I believe you anon. Just like I believe your bullshit story about being a vigilante even though you'd be arrested for being a worse criminal the the ones you cleanse. Oh wait, did I say your story was bullshit? Awwww man I really suck at this lying thing.
>>683963123
NO U
>>683963298
the city will know i am its guardian when it is time
>>683963293
Well the city needs it so go forth and remove the vile litter off our streets and place it in the recepticles of power found behind businesses throughout the city
>>683962411
I don't care what you think, and no it's not a dick measuring contest. No doubt you are a person who has the ability to leave the house and live a normal peaceful life.
I risk my life every time I decide to act, that's my truth. If you believe me or not is not my problem
>>683963298
enjoy your summer
>>683963516
i clean sandwich trash by day and criminal trash by night
Someone pls screen cap this...
My sides. Hahaha
>>683962982
Oh snap we got a biter here!
>>683963646
And which one of them makes more?
>>683963525
I would have heard about a crazy masked murderer by now. You're a fucking liar.
>>683963617
???? What if I told you that older people still browse 4chan.
>>683962761
Thank you for your words. Some cops are ok, others are not.
You can't judge them all based on the media, there is always good and bad
>>683963706
i lash out at crime with all resources at my disposal
i have no shame in that
>>683963767
at this point it all seems the same to me
>>683959804
Because your sense of humor sucks and are easily amused.
>>683963823
So you also jerk them off into submission?
>>683963919
that hasn't been required yet, but if it is it's what i shall do
justice has no limits
>>683963646
So you're either a janitor or work at Subway. Holy shit my sides. You're summer as fuck. If you want to clean anything, start with the fucking acne all over your face you pock marked underage.
>>683963797
I don't kill them, I just fuck them up real bad. Multiple broken bones is what I go for, I don't want to kill anyone unless I am forced to
>>683957835
did you shave your neckbeard before you put on the mask? how long is your driveway that you patrol?
>>683963884
So homeless people and fast food restaurants make the same amount of garbage and then you clean it up in a faggy white mask? But seriously.Someone is going to torture the shit out of you one day holmes
>>683964071
crime doesn't take vacation and neither do i
>>683964163
the real torture is looking out the window and seeing what the city has become
>>683964140
Someone can die from one broken bone
>shock
>eternal bleeding
>necrosis of the liver
>>683964149
I don't shave. Men have beards
>>683964140
> don't kill anyone
> unless forced to
Jesus you can't even keep your shit straight. Lay off the Batman comics, okay buddy? This is the real world, where if you really did vigilante shit, you'd be arrested almost immediately cos you're more of a threat than the criminals. Nice try tho, underage.
>>683964278
i don't worry about what happens after the threat has been neutralized
>>683964246
No...the real torture is ice picks theough your knee caps and flash lights with eyelids cut off
>>683964169
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
>>683964345
if i am more of a threat than the criminals then maybe the city deserves to be threatened
>>683964278
I know, I also know what to break and how to do it. I'm not saying I'm a ninja or a fighting expert but I've read up on the human body and how to hurt it.
Like I said, I really wouldn't like to kill anyone
>>683964278
> eternal bleeding
That's metal as fuck \m/
>>683964406
the scum of the city does seem to think that it is torturous
>>683964506
I just came up with it just now
>>683964485
3edgy5me
I knew you were full of shit. Go cry in to your MCR vinyls you fucking knob. I bet you created this whole vigilante fantasy cos some girl wouldn't touch your neckbearded micropenis.
>>683964607
YOU are the scum of the city..its people like you who should be locked away you fucking scociopath.
Op, if this is true, you're really a good person. May I ask you to describe one situation with high risk of death? Some action i mean.
>>683964666
i'm too busy worrying about the city's underbelly to think of my own
>>683964714
i should not be locked up until the city is free
>>683964850
> I'm too busy blablablablabla *wet shit noises*
Whatever you have to tell yourself while your dad ass rapes you, anon.
>>683964345
I wouldn't have the time to explain to you how I work or target criminals. If you read the responses I've put before on other comments I don't believe I'm a super hero, I know what I do is dangerous and I have taken the risks into consideration. I've been doing this for a couple of years now and have tried to improve in every aspect since I began.
I've been seriously injured doing this and have seriously injured people doing this. It's difficult and gritty but it's how I decide to act. I've never had to kill anyone or been put in a life or death situation. But if it came down to that, life or death, I would not hesitate in preserving my life.
Whenever I patrol I never do it with the intent of killing people, just stopping criminals
>>683957835
I'll bite anon. What type of gear/equipment do you use? Any special training or skills?
>>683965115
i have lived on the streets for years learning the ways of the criminal
the only gear i need are my mask and fists
>>683965036
I've read a good chunk of it. But it all says the same thing to me: "I'm so full of shit that I have turned in to a nigger. I just want the internet to pay attention to me because my parents love alcohol more than they do me"
And I would drink too if I had an autistic kike of a fuckstick child like you.
>>683965238
No armor? No gadgets?
>fists
Martial arts?
>>683965332
beware the shadows, anon, for the day of the mockers and doubters is coming
>>683965463
just my fists and my street smarts
street smarts are way better than what you'd learn in some "dojo"
>>683965468
Come here to Idaho with that fuck shit. I live in a small town that is all shadows at night time. You think you fucking scare me? Try again, bitch.
>>683965563
Translation: anon goes straight for the balls every time cos he is a fucking cuck.
>>683958466
Not OP, but it goes wherever it falls. It all depends on which way around the roll is when it's put in.
>>683965588
living in idaho is already a fate worse than death, i don't need to intervene
>>683965563
>dojo
Yes, strip mall dojos are shit. There are actually schools that teach useful fighting skills you know.
>>683965661
>straight for the balls
A legit strategy you know. Honor before reason will get you killed in an actual fight.
>>683957835
Do people know you?
Does someone know your identity?
>>683964815
I walked through a dangerous area of the city I live in until three guys with knives tried to rob me. The cut me a few times and needed stitching up but I was able to defend myself. Fighting isn't like in the movies when they attack with choreography, they came at me all at once with the intent to hurt me and rob me.
ITT: >OP beats up homeless people and thinks he's a tough guy for it
>>683965721
> I'm too much of a pussy to travel to a state where real men live.
Fixed it for you.
>>683965854
no one knows my identity
but all will know the mask
>>683965824
A legit strategy if shit is desperate and you need the upper hand to live. But if you're starting at the balls, then you're a spineless shit stain.
>>683965911
idaho is a blight on humanity
i alone could not clean it up
>>683965115
I dont have special gadgets or weapons, all the things that I own and use are things that I've paid for with my money from my job.
I dont have bulletproof armour but I wear whatever I can find/buy and re-enforce
>>683957835
Thats sick i saw a show about you. Can i be you op?
>>683957835
Do you have some photos of you? Any costume photo? That would be nice. Keep it up man, great job
>>683966100
Cos agriculture is such a bane to humanity.
>>683965115
PS: After the mugging that shook me up a couple of years back I decided to do kung fu. Im no ninja or expert fighter, I just learn what I can and use it as best as possible. I've studdied a few other things but not for long, just to learn the necessary
>>683966492
agriculture feeds the good and the wicked alike
>>683965332
Like I said to the guy before who said something similar: I dont care what you think.
>>683962430
Are you in the UK? Apparently, we have quite a few of your kind here. I've never seen any though. Probably because I'm not a crackhead.
>>683966578
Are you fucking with me right now? Feeding people is now a crime. It's a good thing you're a fucking liar otherwise I would be worried for your parents that you live with. If even half the shit you said was truth, it would make you a blithering sociopath whose only cure is a 50 cal right bewteen the eyes.
>>683966764
if you see me it is too late for you
>>683965854
No one knows what I do, I find it is the best course of action. I wouldn't want to deal with other people's worry for my safety.
If something were to happen to me they will eventually find out, that's how I see it at least
>>683966842
the sustenance of the wicked becomes a part of them
how could i not despise it as well?
>>683966647
The guy who said something similar was probably also me. Cos you are still full of complete shit. Convincing you to an hero would be my way of cleaning up 4chan and wherever the fuck you live.
>>683963807
Have you ever come into contact with cops while on patrol?
>>683966951
Are you gonna start punching cows and corn over it?
>>683967043
the cops don't go to the places i patrol
>>683967116
if i must
>>683966489
Like selfies and shit? No, sorry. Why would I?
>>683958779
I got the reference!
>>683957835
How could we trust you? Can you give us proofs?
>>683967299
only the wicked get proof and they don't want it
>>683967177
Livestream the shit out of it then. I want to see you in your XXXXXL suit and mask that only covers one of your 5 chins attack the ever vicious criminal jnown as corn.
>>683966764
Not in the UK but I wont say where I am.
I would rather not have anyone know where I patrol
>>683967384
> no proof cos I'm a fucking liar
Fixed it for you. Again.
>>683967011
You can try but I wouldn't be convinced.
Begin your convincing if you want to
>>683967637
What if I told you the femanon you're trying to impress with this thread also thinks you're full of shit
>>683957835
What city OP? If not that, what state? I wanna see if we can read about your exploits.
Also, do the cops know your secret identity?
>>683967790
OP won't answer that question cos he is a fucking lying cock gobbling sack of shit.
>>683967043
Only very few times, whenever they arrive I bolt because I asume they can pick it up from there.
Ive been chased but never cought, Ive also been shot at but never hit by a cop.
Cops arent really all that bad
>>683957835
ill take things that never happened for 500, alex
>>683961838
Whoa. Do you know about Guardian Shield anon? That guy lives out of Beaverton.
>>683967299
You'll just have to take my word, that's why I'm answering questions as best as I can
>>683967917
the light side in me needs to stop trusting the police
if the police were doing their job i would not be needed
>>683967447
That's fine. I wasn't planning on getting in your way. As long as you're not doing worse things than the criminals, I have no problem with you.
>>683967767
I wouldn't care.
Keep it coming, I'm sure you can do much better than that anon.
>>683957835
What's your costume look like?
>>683968351
just my mask and fedora
>>683967790
I don't what to say what country I'm in.
No, the cops don't know. They would arrest me if they knew
>>683968427
Mr. Silent? Laaaaaaaaame
>>683968427
i laughed hard to this
>>683968171
I probably could. But truth be told, if you're not gonna an hero on your own, then clearly you don't care for the good of this world.
You're one of those invalids, one who is so unfathomably retarded that you barely understand what I'msaying right now. Just because you survive you mother's smoking and drink while you were in the womb as well as daddy's coat hanger doesn't mean you have a right to live. It's a tragedy your parents didn't shake you.
I can't convince your level of stupid to understand that your death would literally benefit the world endlessly, but instead I'll just silently hope that you choke on your own neck from hiw fat you are. Peace.
>>683968134
Thanks
>>683957835
>>683957835
sick role playing faggot now get back to making my website
>>683968427
Are you fucking serious
>>683958003
watching Arrow
If I pull that mask off, will you die?
>>683968427
I was being serious but, /b/ had some good responses here. That >>683968620 found it so funny, caused me to crack up as well.
>>683964278
>eternal bleeding.
ffs man read a book.
>>683968351
I dont have a costume, I just have some protective gear beneath my clothes. I try to blend in as much as possible except for the mask
>>683968864
the city is dying
>>683968427
This made me laugh
>>683968864
It would be very painful.
>>683968649
Peace
>>683968988
Are you blending in with other people or dressing in dark clothing?
>>683969431
i wear dark clothing to blend in with the rotten soul of my city
>>683969431
Generally I try to blend in as much as possible but have dark articles of clothing as well. I try to wear nothing that might be to flashy but that can be comfortable for movement and hiding. I have backpack too where I keep other stuff, it's small enough that it doesn't limit mobility. It also stores my mask until I have to put it on
>>683969561
OP here, you've seriously made me laugh at parts of this thread. Thanks anon
>>683969755
soon the day will come when we always have to wear my mask
>>683969431
I dress with pink clothes so I can hide in gay parade and find some criminal scum
LMFAO @ everyone taking the bait from the troll. I lost my shit like 5 times throughout reading this from the responses
>>683968052
Never heard of him, thanks. I am right by Beaverton. I'll look into him.
>>683958085
You have no idea who your fucking with.
When my parents go to sleep tongiht and I can finally sneak out, I'll show you. Pussy ass bitch.
OH SHIT I FOUND YOU!
>>683957835
Ideas are bulletproof right? So you don't need to wear bulletproof stuff.
>>683970365
shove your ice cream koan up your ass
i do what i must so you can sleep safe at night
OP here guys, it has been fun and thank you for your time. I'm going to get ready now. Hopefully we can do this again soon.
Let's hope I don't die tonight and can help as much as I can
Have a good one
Show pic of scars or gtfo.
>>683970954
/thread
>>683957835
I dont care, go back to tadindga for sucking dross's balls
>>683970953
Go forth OP. Make Europe great again.
>>683969089
you're a big guy
>>683969431
You're funny. I like to stand out when I go on patrol (though, I do understand why you don't).
I've read articles (one in Birmingham, U.K.) where, if you're not in costume (he was handing out sandwiches), nobody cares. Now, he wears a Spiderman costume and people take notice.
It's definitely safer towards your longevity though.
>>683957835
Have you ever been noticed by the media? Local newspaper, radio or something?
>>683971892
For YOU
wow you're so cool and edgy and i totally believe you
If you were actually a vigilante you wouldn't be talking about it.
