Make 1 wish
other anons make conditions for your wish
e.g. i wish for $1,000,000
anon says "in Zimbabwe currency"
I want to live forever
Sure ill play
I wish to be immortal in that my body never ages and can not be destroyed.
I want $1,000,000 US
I want the ability to reply to this thread.
>>683721885
You're a vegetable and you don't stop aging.
I want a bottle of water that never runs out
>>683721976
Granted, but you already had that ability in the first place you fucking moron.
I wish to be happy.
>>683721911
while constantly being eaten by tigers
>>683722009
The water quality is sewage-like
ability to get this thread off the ground
>>683721937
You're now on the run from the cops for violently robbing a bank for $1,000,000.
>>683722009
Granted, but it only works with anal chugging.
ability to eat anything and survive off it
I wish for the ability to upvote this.
>>683721937
Sure, but I burn it and I give you the ashes.
>>683722270
Granted, but you lose all sense of taste.
>>683722139
kys pls
>>683722270
Granted, but you cannot shit it out, only suffer extreme nausea and vomit it out.
can control the outcome of any thrown die
>>683722270
Everything tastes like shit as soon as you put it in your mouth.
>>683722294
Granted, but it's referred to as a "bump" instead and only happens when you reply to a thread.
>>683722270
everything you eat tastes awful and doesn't fill you up
>>683722430
what the fuck is up with the picture?
>>683722430
Everyone in the room is suddenly aware of your control as soon as you throw the die.
I wish I was Cooper from interstellar
>>683722430
only when naked
I wish for the ability to triforce
>>683722121
Granted you lose 2.5 billion brain cells per second
>>683722621
Oh please, even genies can't fix newfags.
Lemme see any tits I want.
>>683721297
I wanna go back to high school
I want to make any girl I want fall in love with me
>>683722143
I can live with that actually as long as i always heal back.
>>683722121
Even an involuntary thought. Careful not to think about yourself.
I wish to have a long and lined dickhole that I could shove children up it when police search my van
>>683722785
You're now a creepy 30 year old who is stuck in high school.
>>683722773
granted but you have to suck caitlyn jenners dick everytime before you see them
>>683722907
fucking kek, but they dont ever come out
>>683722868
They all turn "stab you in your sleep for smiling at your female waitress" crazy.
The ability to summon infinite pot and rolling papers.
ability to have my sexual fantasys come true
>>683723184
It's all corn, and the papers are made out of human skin.
>>683722868
granted but they all die within an hour of meeting you
I wish I could control electricity and shoot out lightning bolts!
I wish all your wishes come true.
>>683723223
Every fantasy has to have a scat fetish involved.
I can drain other peoples happiness and use it
>>683723329
Only while fully underwater.
>>683723034
Even better
>>683723408
Damn.
>>683723034
You mean the one they lobbed off? So I'm pretty much sucking a dildo. I'm in.
>>683723301
Good with me, I can smoke human skin and I can put a fuckton of corn farms out of business with my infinite corn which I will use to buy pot.
>>683723371
doesnt change anything
i can make anything a meme
i can cum upto 3 litres
i wish that anons didn't have to specify conditions for my wish
>>683723392
People get extremely depressed and kill themselves when you do and you have to do it 1000 times daily in order to survive.
>>683723522
Kill yourself.
>>683723674
You cum out kidney stones.
>>683723674
you cum the same amount in blood
>>683721996
that fucked up so quick, i think there should be you 1 condition
>>683723184
No lighter you use will ever work
>>683723674
It's all stored in your baseball-sized nuts.
>>683723329
The electricity decides enough is enough and leaves your controlling relationship
Everytime it comes out of you, it comes out yo anus and shocks you aswell
I wish to go back in time and make everything I did wrong right and make better decisions just I can have her back in my life laying next to me on my bed... I miss her
I want to suck my own dick
>>683721297
>>683723841
Matches.
>>683723329
Not immune to the lightning
>>683722773
as long as they belong to a 65+ y.o.
>>683723874
she will die in a car accident
>>683723711
granted...
>>683723874
You can't travel back.
i wish to jizz non stop forever
i wish to not be lonely
>>683723874
Granted, but butterfly effect is a thing.
>>683723924
Granted, but you can only do it in public outside schools.
I wish my dad loved me.
>>683724262
You have to constantly be on an IV so you don't die of dehydration.
>>683723924
granted but it's an inch erect
>>683721297
I want to go back 400 years and be a pirate
>>683724361
Your mom doesn't
>>683724262
Granted, but you will jizz non stop forever
>>683724262
Not even a condition... You simply die after an hour or two from massive dehydration.
>>683724262
everyone in the world drowns and gets std's
>>683724361
Your dad dies the second he says he loves you.
>>683724361
Granted , every day
>>683721937
$2,000,000 US worth of dildos
I wish i was braver
>>683723866
>the electricity decides
lolwut
i want a $2 cheese burger
>>683724553
All bad dragons.
>>683721297
i wish i was the best at everything and no body can top me
To be omnipotent
>>683724635
You get what you pay for
>>683724635
from mcdonalds
>>683724553
50 cent dildos?
>>683724501
Drowns AND gets std's??? But they drown first so what does it matter?!
I wish to succeed at everything every time with little to no effort on my part.
>>683724651
but your 4 feet tall
>>683724635
You get food poisoning and die because it's undercooked.
>>683724665
Also impotent
>>683724606
The electricity cant go out with friends or anything like that, it dont like that
bees?
I wish I could have hot steamy sex with my 18yo sister whenever I wanted
I wish I was a pretty, physically normal girl
>>683722588
You're Cooper from Interstellar
>>683724760
Fine by me ill never get laid anyway
>>683724665
you have to turn into your son and sacrifice yourself to some sand niggers
>>683724797
She turns into an ugly fucker and you can never ejaculate
>>683724361
he loves you a bit too much
I wish OP wasn't' such a faggot.
Someone loves me
>>683724635
you receive a $2 cheeseburger
but it doesn't fill the void inside you
>she left you and she's never coming back
you wake up one night, bleary eyed and for a few beautiful seconds you grasp the empty pillow beside you, imagining that she's in the bathroom and she'll be back to bed soon so you can hold her.
>but she's not coming back
>ever
the ability to gain a new wish every time i fart
>>683724651
You don't actually get better at anything. Everyone else simply gets worse. The world is sent back to the middle-ages as technicians forget how to run utility plants and the world loses electricity/clean water.
>>683724797
THE SHOWER IS COLD MUHAHAHHA
>>683724731
Each succession gives you stronger mental retardation and muscle atrophy.
>>683724940
y u do dis?
>>683723611
You look like a massive faggot in the process
>>683724806
Physically normal, But mentally retarded.
>>683724708
oh are dildos only a dollar?
>>683724806
You can't masturbate or have sex, but you are always close to orgasm
>>683725004
so i guess i am worse than a vegetable before the end of the day
>>683724957
You lose the ability to fart.
>>683725087
HE'S A FUCKING WHITE MALE
I wish you have a nice day!
>>683725176
Correct.
I wish I was social
>>683725203
Granted, but your day is awful.
>>683725203
You have the worst day of your life.
>>683725278
Very social person that no one likes
>>683721297
I wish zionism would die a socialist death.
In other words people get bored & walk away
I wish I have a daughter some day and I fuck her brains out on her 18th birthday
>>683725203
"nice" is a relative term
welcome to the nice day of a BBC loving slave
>>683724708
Whoops, I meant $1,000,000.
>>683725278
Granted, but everyone you talk to is so heavily socially retarded, it doesn't matter.
>>683725203
me too
>>683725456
Socially retarded people are easy to manipulate, you always win
>>683721297
I wanna be Batman
>>683721297
my sister fucks me bareback and lets me creampie her vag.
I wish /b/ wasn't so shit
>>683725440
Granted, but she immediately goes to the police and you get life in prison.
>>683725440
on her 18th birthday she falls and hits her head on a sharp corner, dying and leaving a hole the same size as your penis
>>683725262
lmao
thank you anon
>>683725614
But she would be 18, what did i do wrong
I wish this thread would 404
>>683721297
I wish that I could tell just before I made a mistake (like hitting thumb with hammer or making a bad business deal) that I would get a temporary twitch in the little finger of my left hand that would go away once the danger is past.
>>683725575
You are crippled from the neck down your first night out.
>>683725200
Fug
>>683725691
You are a white, cis male therefore rape.
>>683721937
Given to you only in the form of shitty gift cards
i can jump high
>>683725897
you fall to your death on your first jump
>>683725897
You never come down and infinitely move upwards.
i wish i died peacefully in my sleep at 100 years of age.
>>683721297
I wish I could heal any sickness by mind power
I wish no one else would reply to this thread.
>>683725726
I wish I was a billionaire
>>683726231
granted, but fags reply anyway
I wish no one else could make any more wishes.
>>683726292
granted, but you can't spend any of your money
I wish I had better aim ._.
>>683726166
you have been sleeping for over 80 years
>>683726402
Granted, but now they basically do the same thing, accept they call them 'hilbjewarlbgiggles' instead, which no one can pronounce, so they stutter whenever they say it and generally sound completely retarded.
>>683727106
Damn kek
>>683726790
you do, but only in online MMORPG's with no more 'official' servers supported that are overrun with 10 year olds. Alternatively, only in minecraft. Alt - Alternatively, only with black powder single shot firearms.
>>683725860
>You never come down and infinitely move
Can he at least get visa gift cards, or do they have to be for like target or sears or something?
I hilbjewarlbgiggles to be constantly stoned.
triigered reeeeee
I can wish for something for real
>>683727590
yes but only if it is related to grape nuts brand cereal. No catches, but it has to be grape nuts related.
>>683727133
>hilbjewarlbgiggles
>>683727434
>> I hilbjewarlbgiggles to be constantly *uncomfortably stoned.
I hilbjewarlgibbles that my genital herpes would either disappear or spread to everyone so I ain't gotta worry bout that shit anymore and finally fuck without a condom or get a handjob with a glove
>>683721297
>>683721297
I wish build race cars at the snap of a finger.
>>683722294
granted but only if you get the fuck out of my /b/
>>683721297
I wish to be fluent in all human languages.
>>683727927
OK - but only with car parts sourced from the former soviet union.
>>683726402
Granted, but only after OP stops being a fag
>>683727927
You can wish build all you want man, snap your fingers, do your step, you can do it all yourself bud.
When you get the chance, let me see you do it. ayyyyy!
>>683727353
Various ones some decent like a visa but other bull shit ones like forever 21 and build a bear workshop as well in varying amounts
>>683728044
You have no tongue or hands.
>>683728044
but you are only fluent when in that country
>>683727434
Granted... by sandnigglets
I die a lonely faggot.
>>683728430
:(
>>683728526
This'll work
man... i wish i knew what to wish for.
>>683728114
Not too bad.
They still had v8's that pumped 300hp in the 60's
>>683728044
Every third sentence you speak ends up being an incredibly overt sexual inuendo in whatever language you are speaking.
>>683728664
Instantly wishes to be gay.
>>683721297
Zimbabwe uses usd now
so good with a mil of that
>>683728621
"Lonely" in the inside, you are surrounded by a bunch of chads that can't stop calling you a fag
I wish for the ability of not needing sleep.
>>683729129
can't, the wish is already used.
>>683729805
Granted, But every minute without sleep you become more and more paralyzed
I wish 4chan wasn't so shit... /b/ specifically.
I wish I had an infinite supply of tasty well-textured tomatoes, and appealing pink pears.
>>683730281
Granted, but you can never rhyme again. Seriously, stop that.
>>683730281
Granted, but you are now allergic to tomatoes and pears.
I wish for having the exact amount of money in my pocket for when i pay for any item.
>>683730272
Granted, but you still think it still stinks.
>>683725726
The finger can move, the rest of your body is paralyzed
>>683730272
Granted you are not a neck beard, furry loving faggot.
>>683721937
Bernie becomes prez and you have to pay 99% tax on it.
>>683730281
Granted, but your delicious tomatoes all look like rotting, mutilated dicks, and your pretty pears taste like horse semen.
>>683730500
In pennies
>>683723184
Granted but reggie is all you get
>>683730500
Your pockets are always sewn shut.
>>683730500
Granted, but it's a jumbled mess of foreign currencies, and you drop half of it on the floor when you take it out of your pocket.
I wish for a limitless memory where I am unable to forget anything that I have noticed.
>>683730420
Can I at least still look at my precious pears?
Ok I wish for extremely good luck
>>683730851
You are blind and deaf and lack any feeling in your body.
>>683729805
You still get tired so you have to just lay there awake all night.
>>683730987
it runs out after the first day and you become unlucky the rest of your life.
>>683730851
You always remember it wrong >>683730987
Your luck is at the expense of your dick
>>683730851
Granted, but you have to watch your friends and family cut their own arms off and jump off a bridge.
I wish I could get dubs on every post. When I die, I become a legend amongst the /b/ros and am referred to as Master Dubs.
>>683731336
You never get anything above dubs.
>>683730909
You can, but the longer you look, the harder it is to not eat them.
>>683731336
You become know as the 4chan hacker and are arrested for leaking the fappening pics.
I wish my own poop would never touch my butt, and I would never have to wipe it ever again.
>>683730851
You can only watch gay porn
I wish for world peace and equality.
>>683731736
IT somehow always ends up in your mouth.
I wish every prostitute refunded me after the deed
>>683731736
You poop out your dick
i never have to pay for a thing
>>683723371
My favorite conditions are those like this one: spiteful and not very creative. This is a great fucking website
I wish finals were over
>>683731829
Every prostitute has a different disease passed on to you because the wont fuck you with a condom.
I wish I could vibrate through walls
>>683724141
Ooo girllllll
>>683731773
You have no freedom of thought or action so that peace can easily be maintained by the government, and you are only equal in the sense that all of humanity is suffering equally.
>>683732009
Granted. You sleep through em and fail
>>683732118
You cant stop vibrating and you fall to the earth's molten core where you die.
>>683721297
Become god of my own mid sized pocket dimension
>>683732199
Nice. George Orwell would be proud.
>>683732276
So many keks
>>683723874
She's dead and you're fucking her corpse
>>683732297
Everyone in your created world hates you and says you don't even exist.
I wish i wasnt such a fucking loser
>>683732297
But everyone worships a fake god that isn't you, leaving you with zero people believing in your existence
>>683724389
butt pirate
>>683732496
Not all wishes come true
I wish I could defest Chuck Norris in hand to hand combat. Word spreads and the 4chan community honors my achievement by taking off their mask of anonymity
>>683731773
Granted, everyone else thinks world peace and inequality is achieved but you see through the lies, I fact every thing gets worse
>>683732276
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAxpAs1Iaec
>>683732608
Fuckin kek'd so loud my roommate woke up.
>>683732496
Granted. You never lose a game of minesweeper
>>683732618
It's when Chuck Norris is 90 years old so everyone hates you except 4chan.
>>683724936
granted but you're one those waifu pillow things and you're constantly soaked in sad jizz
I wish to be a Japanese girl
>>683732618
What are you fucking gay?
>>683732783
Just. Yes.
>>683732444
So basically the UK then?
I wish I had the powers of goku
>>683732915
You're a conscious baby that never grows up and can't talk
>>683732989
It takes you 10 episodes to accomplish any tasks in daily life (an episode equaling 30minutes with 2-3 commercial breaks)
I wish to have my brain put inside an android body so I may live forever as my brain is slowly replaced by cybernetics, from then on I would collect all of the knowledge of mankind and after the collapse find a cave and power down until the end of time or something/someone finds me.
I wish I could shapeshift into any living earthly creature and back to my normal self any time for as long as I want.
>>683733122
I'd be fine with that.
>>683732937
I wish that I could find this anon and make him appreciate my prestige levels in martial arts
>>683723357
Granted, but you suffer from extreme starvation for all eternity and everything you eat or drink turns to ash
>>683733281
You're found hundreds of thousands of years later by an alien race, who disregard your ancient technology as their present day trash, and incinerate you in the sun
>>683733317
you have to have sex with the creature you intend to transform into each time you transform into one.
I wish i had a nice penis
>>683733317
Shape shifting is so painful you pass out from the ordeal only to wake up as you painfully shift back into your normal form.
>>683733373
Granted, you're still fucking gay
>>683733520
>>683733563
I'm not sure which is worse or do they both apply?
I wish I was the worlds best marksman, and I could reliably hit a guy so far away he would barely even feel the bullet bounce off his skin.
>>683733531
In your ass
>>683733531
It's forever stuck inside of a sweaty fat mans asshole
>>683730593
underrated post
>>683733730
Kek
This is a frightening thread, but I will play anyway.
I wish I could have theme music play everywhere I go.
>>683733373
granted but now you're in the movie the prestige and you're always the asshole that drowns in the tank
>>683733708
only works with spit wads and paper airplanes
>>683733708
Deal, but you're only able to pull the trigger when pointing a gun in the direction of an infant and or small child
>>683733827
Its the family guy theme
>>683733827
The music playing sounds as if it's coming from a blown speaker at all times
>>683721297
I wan't every soul acknowledge their mission and fulfill it.
>>683733531
Granted, but it's not nice in the sense that it looks nice, and instead it can talk, is sentient, and only ever speaks words of praise so cheesy they make you want to barf.
>>683733708
The bullet is a foosball extruded from your anus
>>683733827
The "Music" is a mix of terrible indie folk and static deafeningly loud but only you can hear it.
>>683721297
i wish to be able to grant infinite wishes to anyone including myself...
protip> anything you say I can remove with my next wish
I wish i was as handsome as my mom says i am
>>683734007
Every soul's mission is to die.
>>683734010
>Granted, but it's not nice in the sense that it looks nice, and instead it can talk, is sentient, and only ever speaks words of praise so cheesy they make you want to barf.
Just this.
>>683733436
Well since my other option was staying turned off until the universe ended, that's not a bad deal.
>>683734116
You become so handsome your mom rapes you.
>>683733827
it's just the brown noise, so everyone is constantly horribly shitting around you at all times. Everyone knows you're the cause and they hate you for it
I don't want to kill myself anymore...
>>683722139
You find happiness inside of a crack pipe and are now an addict.
I wish I could fight like the breakdancer from Tekken.
>>683733990
>The music playing sounds as if it's coming from a blown speaker at all times
A.K.A. the Daily Dose Unlimited
>>683734114
>well played
I wish I had a spaceship like black science guy drives on the nature of things
>>683734288
It becomes a need and you do it.
>>683734114
omg how didn't I fucking think of that shit
>>683722181
You make a post, but some asshole calls you a faggot
faggot
Posted a few "buts" so I'll give a wish a shot.
Whenever I take a piss, upcoming winning lottery numbers appear in the toilet.
>>683721911
While broke and alone.
I wish i was Reggie Fils-Aimé
>>683734114
every wish you make or grant costs you a limb and when you run out of limbs you start losing vital organs which you cannot grow back or replace with wishes (your own or anyone else's) and this condition cannot be removed by subsequent wishes (your own or anyone else's).
>>683734114
You have a conjoined twin with the same power who's always messing with your shit
>>683734381
Granted, but you get spells of diarrhea while you fight.
>>683734414
It gets sucked into a black hole and you die.
>>683722588
hi Cooper
>>683733687
I'd take the first one, dude. At least you get to use the shape shifting xD
>>683734479
You only piss when you are blackout drunk and can never remember.
>>683734239
Ultra kek
>>683734381
but you must constantly make out with yoshimitsu
>>683734479
you always flush before you can read them and they are lost to the sewers.
>>683722294
Not granted, please end your life.
>>683734114
Granted. You now have a 1 second memory and all future wishes must be provided in writing
>>683734635
Damn, that's a good one. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to tell someone else when it happens and they share some of their winnings
I wish my parents would respect me
>>683734523
well fuck, I thought I won the game
I wish to be the greatest dick sucker of all time.
>>683722773
Granted
but you now only like penises
>>683734774
while drunk you can only speak Navajo. Good luck
>>683734851
Can only suck your own dick.
>>683734851
Your only nutrients come from semen, if you do not suck hundreds of dicks a day you die of malnourishment.
>>683734800
feelsbadman
>>683722139
Granted. Someone with your level of insight deserves it.
>>683734855
In fact, the tits are now all penises
>>683734934
>navajo
kek
>>683734934
Kek'd to the max. I came up with the blackout drunk idea but this is just fucking hilarious.
>Piss drunk guy speaking to you in Navajo urgently
I wish someone would make a new thread because this ones gonna die
>>683734851
Granted, but you have to start a new thread
>>683724797
You can only do it next to a relative.
>>683724806
You can only keep wishing.
>>683733827
Your theme song is a Gregorian Chant
>>683734116
kek
>>683734129
>soul
>dying
Try again.
>>683734989
>can only suck your own dick
Implies I can actually suck my dick though, so not a total loss.
>>683735245
Cant reach your dick anyway.
>>683735146
granted, but when they do so, you'll both become faggots
