My bosses are capitalist fuckheads, so for the past month I've been sabotaging shit in the office.
I've run out of things to do.
Does anyone have any good ideas to cause chaos but not get caught?
How dare you bosses be interested in corporate responsible policies. I mean, what kind of asshole wants to maximize profits and run an efficient company? I'm pretty sure by the sound of it, you are punishing them enough my your sheer existence...
No way mate. I like my income. I just hate my cunt of a boss.
Oh and swear like a man you Catholic.
Well cleaners refused to pick up our empty coffee mugs now as the boss doesn't pay them enough. So when I'm finished with my empty mug I just wander to a common area of the office and leave it there.
I organise meetings and schedule it in my diary and go bowling for a couple of hours.
I eat other peoples food from the fridge.
I jam the photcopiers and just leave them all fucked up and shit.
I print porn and leave it on high shelves where it can blow off onto the floor.
I throw rubbish on the floor.
I eat skanky smelly food like curries and shit and stink the office out.
I spill milk everywhere. When that shit dries it stinks like hell.
I've removed the wheel from three office chairs. That pisses off people no end.
I removed three strips from the vertical blinds in the sunny window and now direct sunlight pastes its way across the office all summer morning.
he's probably gotten nowhere bc instead of filing papers or wtv tf op's supposed to do, he's too busy fucking shit up in the company instead of trying to make it better. OP is a perfect example of what is wrong with America: People expect to not do shit and then get rewarded for it. Fucking hell.
Oh come off it with the "WATS WRONG WITH AMERICA IS THAT PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT SHIT WAGES FOR SHIT TIER WORK"
OP probably has a college education and can do all sorts of shit but is stuck doing nonsense for rich corporate assholes who pay him next to nothing.
backdoor the server
slacken the pipework under all sinks
put open cans of tuna in the heating/cooling ducts
tip off the law about possible cheese pizza on someones computer
walk dog shit into the building everyday "by mistake"
invest in live mousetraps catch a fuckload of mice and let them go in the building .
buy cream cakes and leave them in the office fridge everyday, but jizz in one of them each day.
Well it is actually. They charge me minimum wages for years until I advanced my skills inhouse and now for years they've paid me fuck all and refuse to give me pay increases but insist I work huge amounts of overtime.
How about you just quit your fucking job, go work for someone that you'd like working for and stop being such a whiny little cunt.
Put salt in the sugar box
Make a screenshot of desktops, use this as wallpaper, hide the taskbar and delete all the shit on the desktop
Put post-its under the mouses
Buy an annoy-a-tron (google and DON'T PAY WITH CC) and hide it in the boss office
I don't think it'll make it worse or solve it.
I think the goal is to piss off the rich people who make these decisions and believe in some system that marginalizes people for dumb reasons.
I'm a libertarian, I just hate liberals far more than conservatives. As far as I'm concerned, learn a useful skill and fight for a good wage or earn slave pennies with the rest of the unskilled cucks. Not my problem if people starve
If you can come up with a better working solution then Im all for it. But frankly nothing makes me feel happier than tormenting my boss with these childish fucking pranks. I dont give a fuck man.
That's fine, eventually you'll get caught and fired, the execs will still have just as much cash and you'll be fighting for another shitty job with the rest of the unskilled cucks. You sure showed them!
I know I know but the peace it brings. You buy one of these from China man. You charge it up Turn it on and all day long you get peace man. No ringtoines, no messgaes no facebook notificatons. Its so brilliant. I use it on the bus now on my way to and from work. Its amazing how quiet people are.
Look I'm all for peace and quiet, but telecom jamming falls under anti terrorism laws. They can lock your ass up for a very fucking long time and then you'll never have peace again.
starting a competing business isn't a bad idea actually. i used to work for some other company as an office manager at the age of 25. I looked at what they did wrong and what the clients were missing from the company. I took that information, built my own company satisfying those other needs and started slowly taking away the companies' clients.
Drop a mattress in the swimming pool. It will take a crane to get out.
maybe thats your problem OP
start giving a fuck about your own life and maybe you could work your way outta there.
Or just keep pooping without wiping. Im sure these tricks will help better yourself.
>gets mad saying bosses are capitalist fuckheads
probably works at subway and is mad that they worked hard earned their money and are using it to make more money and he isnt getting anything.
If we didn't have capitalist fuckheads ruling over us, the work we carry out would actually mean something - we'd be hunting, fishing, cooking, building, farming, mining, etc. It would be healthy and meaningful and not to let some asshole in a fucking penthouse be able to afford his 5th sports car
>I eat other peoples food from the fridge.
i hope somebody prepares you a tasty chicken salad with inconspicuous broken glass sandwich soon, that's what i'd do if my food went missing
print porn and put it back in the paper tray, not on top either, so at random points, someone's gonna print out a page with porn on the back, or even better someone's going to outright print porn mixed with work.
How is it his fault that his nosses refuse to give him a promotion when he's clearly capable? This is the flawed right wing logic that lets the shit continue. You bitch about inefficiency, how is that not inefficient?
I hate my boss, oh wait im my own boss. Im not the type of person that needs a leader. Im typically a leader. I decided id be the leader and shit im leading.
If you dont like your boss, Go become a boss.
Youll have your boss at work or youll have a dictator that forces you to give to the state. One of the two options you have your own power and choice. The other youll be subject to force if you disobey.
bro tip its the pro government anti capitalist state.
The same part of me that would offer advice for your 'plots' would also have poisoned 'my' food for you to consume.
OP sounds like you're the fuck head. Where do you work?
Because that's the only job... Jesus Christ I have to give an economics lesson to libtards AGAIN. Well listen up dipshits, you might learn something.
In an open and free market, those that have developed marketable skills can find jobs doing what they're skilled at. If they are treated poorly, they can do the smart thing and work elsewhere where their skills are appreciated. Management that constantly drives away their employees to more tolerable businesses will eventually put their own company out of business.
Capitalism really isn't rocket science
my bosses, who pay my salary and keep me employed, are capitalists. So for the past month, I've been working hard and earning my pay, because I appreciate having gainful employment.
One of my asshole coworkers keeps sabotaging shit in the office - what do?
There are plenty of jobs here. I love you left wing nuts that think we have no options. Also, without the governments regulations we would be allowed to start our own business a hell of a lot easier. Starting business is tough and the government makes it damn near impossible.
This is probably somebody that doesn't understand bills and living expenses. Or he may have a family anf other responsibilities. Not everyone can just drop what little they have on a gamble for something better that may or may not work.
Also, if the job he wants is there and he's continually cucked over it why should he leave? It also depends on what OPs degree is in.
If it was as simple as you make it sound then people wouldn't avoid doing it.
But my college professors taught me that everybody deserves everything they want with no effort in return.
Wouldn't I be depriving him of his essential human right to be an asshole if I got him fired? After all, he doesn't LIKE working hard, and who am I to judge?
We have to respect and embrace a diversity of thought and opinion, I don't wanna be intolerant of his right to be a shithead!
Capitalism isn't a bad thing, you fucking retard.
It's because of capitalism that you can go out there and do whatever the fuck you want to do for a job (as long as it's legal).
You fucking half retarded millennials are such a joke.
Make it physiological.
whisper people names then when they say did you say something say no .
have dejavu drop the same book a couple of times a day in front of the same person making sure to say the same words after. A couple of months this they will think they are crazy
I haven't been caught yet. I don't tell anyone at work I do it and I have to be honest I'm of the generation that doesn;t give a fuck about the corporation. Im not of the generation that gives a fuck about the career. Im of the generation that is thinking about me. And am having a ball totallly fucking with the office atmosphere.
> may have a family
Boo fucking hoo, I didn't force anybody to fuck without birth control
> doesn't understand bills
Kek I do, that's why I don't create unnecessary ones for myself. I live modestly and save my cash for investment
> if it was as simple...
It is. People are fucking lazy and lack initiative, that's why execs give them shit wages
I did that but I forgot to mention. They sent an email around asking if anyone knew. It was fucking hilarious. And cos our office is all liberal n shit the toilets are unisex and the boss's wife found it. I almost died laughing.
Shit in a small container every day and put that in the company freezer. Pile that shit up lmao. Eventually someone will open it and see a can of frozen shit. Ha ha bitch! Yeah! You now have a can of FROZEN SHIT in your hands. Maybe that person will get a new nickname - Sub Shit or Shit Zero
>Starting a business is tough
> could care less
You mean COULDN'T, fucking dipshit
I did read the thread, the fact that he has a degree means next to nothing to me and to a lot of employers. Only libtards think degrees are the absolute indicator of employability.
Yeah I diarise it so noone can invite me to any of their stupid meetings where I sit around with nothing to say playing on my phone. I was asked about one of my meetings once I said I arrived at the office for the meeting but it was cancelled. I went for brews at the bowls with a mate.
"I have a childish attitude and waste valuable work hours that I can spend trying to better myself in the workplace, but instead face my problems by fucking shit up. I have no clue why I'm not getting paid more."
>btw, if you know you're acting like a shithead, don't whine about the outcomes from doing so on the internet
Fuck you and your weak kneed faggotry.
Act like a man
work like a man
grow as a man.
NAH, WHY DO THAT WHEN YOU CAN BE AN ENTITLED SHIT YOU THINKS HE DESERVES SHIT.
Pro tip: His bosses know he isn't worth a fuck. It's called age and experience.
Its not a greentext continuing story you abortion bucket. Its a series of tasks. Learn what Greentexting is all about you soggy fagcum stained biscuit eating pirate.
Stop being a passive aggresive cunt.
Awww, mommy, they don't love me as much as you doooooo.
I'm gonna leave dirty dishes in the sink, that'll show 'em.
Reality check: You are a loser, and blaming others for your shortcomings will keep you living at home.
Are you really this retarded? If he has a family it's because he had a good entry level job and was expecting advancement which he clearly hasn't gotten. Just keep telling yourself everyone else is lazy, though. And enjoy living in niggerville.
Your argument assumes facts not yet in evidence. I know plenty of people who manage to have families without first having a good entry level job.
Knocking a girl up is easy. Being prepared for it is hard.
Try harder, tryhard.
Well Im not gunna go and do anything big like arson or terrorism or shit. Its all just tiny little annoyances that slowly grate away at the boss until he goes berko
He doesn't "deserve" anything. Just because he got a piece of toilet paper with his name scribbled on it doesn't automatically mean that he can just expect to become a millionaire whilst sitting on his ass. He has to man the fuck up and show initiative. Pranking HR is not going to get him anywhere in life.
We can have the benefits of capitalism without the associated greed from ultra capitalism. We just need to develop a type of tax structure that encourages growth of small businesses whilst discouraging foreign business and massive corps from establishing monopolies. Aka gov owned big business.
Holy fuck, a GENUINE COLLEGE DEGREE!!?!?!?!
WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT
1 IN A MILLION
He should get a special prize, and be issued a company car and a secretary who gives blowjobs.
No one gives a shit you mook.
Actually, it's quite easy to have no useful skills. If your degree is in medieval french literature, what the fuck useful skills do you have in the labor market, other than "boat anchor"?
No, if he has family it's because he decided to fuck without protection. Period.
> live in upper middle class college town
> 60k a year
> no kids
> own high end gaming rig, all new gen consoles, three vehicles
> bought overwatch and battleborn just because I can
> fuck my gf bareback on the daily because I bought her a copper iud
Stay jelly kiddo
>How is it his fault that his bosses refuse to give him a promotion when he's clearly capable?
>Vandalizing office like a spoiled white trash cunt
Bosses know he's a shitheel. No one is quite as smart as they think...unless you're another standard issue twat millennial.
Absolutely false. I've met dozens of college grads that are absolutely fucking retarded and have no skills. I know technicians that have 10x the knowledge of the engineers they work for. College means literally nothing unless you're going into medical
I don't care what OP does and doesn't deserve. My whole point was you're projecting the whole wahh muh entitlement argument where it doesn't even apply. You can't be unskilled and have a college degree. Which you haven't even tried to counter. You just keep going off on other unrelated tangents.
>Implying it's the market's fault that there aren't more jobs available.
>Not understanding that government created barriers to entry are the reason there's less competition meaning it's harder to get a job.
Wait around til the place closes so you're all alone, hang yourself in your office leaving behind a note saying you could no longer handle keeping your bosses secret that he killed a child and that he regularly touched your kids at 'bring your child to work' days but threatened to sack you if you told, that the resulting deep depression became too much to handle.
If I don't get paid 15 dollars an hour to microwave shitty pasta as a restaurant worker, how can I afford muh human dig-ma-tees?!!? I need an iPhone, and I need a widescreen flat panel tv. And I cannot LIVE without my Macbook Pro!
Fuck, you're a fascist!
drag your bare ass across the boss's desk
You sound like an entitled nigger who doesn't appreciate actually having a job with stable income. You're mad about something you don't understand so you resort to destruction.
The definition of a nigger.
I do the same man. Here's my subtle list:
> Loosen the automatic door closers bit by bit so they constantly slam.
> Turn off the taps that supply water to the toilet cistern or basin.
> Steal tap handles from the kitchen sink.
> Rip the upholstery of your seat and then swap it with a matching chair. Do the whole floor.
> Order pizza but dont own up to it.
oh my god man you can afford to play video games and buy cars and fuck your girlfriend without condoms??? holy shit man what am i even doing trying to start a family when i could be doing this
i have two bachelors (cs+ai, business) and one MBA, 30 yo. I cant get get a job in my country for more than 700 euro pcm. I still dont fuck around with my office, caouse i dont hate the people there. Should i come to the states? how is the job market there.
How replaceable a person in a position is has nothing to do with how dependent everyone else is in the business on that position being done by someone. The fact that they're replaceable is the reason why they are so often left powerless to negotiate. That doesn't change the fact that they're doing a job which others, including the CEOs, depend on being done.
Where are you, Lithuania??
I'm unqualified, unskilled and paid minimum wage and take home on average €1800pm after tax, sounds like you could move ANYWHERE and earn more m8.
It has a huge bearing on the nature of the relationship between the employer and employee.
The company is dependent on the position, not the person. How replaceable a person is denotes how much negotiating power they have.
Most of that shit only makes your coworkers lives horrible, and does NOTHING to your bosses.
So basically you want advice on how to be more of an asshole to the other poor slobs toiling alongside you.
Big businesses use government to destroy small businesses. It's not a matter of government allowing anything, the big businesses are calling the shots to keep potential competitors out.
No mate. Its affecting him the most. Because he has figured out that someone is doing it and his threatening emails are getting more and more angry. I hear him come in every monring and I always here the first thing he says to the front reception secretary and it is. So whats happended now. We've had two meetings already trying to "discuss" the things that have been happening. I'm just laughing inside. I think though he might be taking actions. He's agreed to give us fresh fruit.
>How replaceable a person is denotes how much negotiating power they have.
I agree to some extent, but often times they aren't even allowed to negotiate. Why prevent them from forcing negotiation by forming unions? If you grant that they have some, however little, negotiating power, why not let them negotiate?
Why I am having a fucking ball ! I've got at least 20 more great ideas from this thread and I'm gunna use them all!
Which is why society is degrading. We need leaders that care more about improving the country than stuffing their pockets.
"Society only advances when men care more about progress than profit" - Tesla
When unions become involved you see people giving less of a shit because they're rewarded based on seniority, not value to the company. Several of my friends are now searching for jobs because their plant was destroyed by a union.
Quality diminished, contracts were lost, plant was shut down.
Put transparent tape on random printers electrical plugs so it isolates contact but isnt visible
Shuffle all markings on ethernet plugs on walls
Mix up different toners/inks in printers
Put batch scripts in random PCs which delete files from USB drives. Use task scheduler and VBS.
Replace fuses with lower-rated ones (8A instead 12 or 16 - power outages when too many PCs are on)
Replace empty CDs/DVDs with ones filled with porn/gore.
Unplug front panel USBs
Rotate all screens (if intel onboard gpus - google it)
Remove all batteries from mainboards
Leave tuna cans everywhere
Chop up block of styrofoam and put that mess in AC units - confetti from hell
Leave opened bottle of milk near heat source
You're never going to get those leaders. Positions of power will always draw corrupt people. What we need is to drastically limit the power of the system which those businesses take advantage of.
>they're rewarded based on seniority, not value to the company
That might be true sometimes but, if it is, that's a reason to change what unions are doing (rewarding seniority), not a reason not to have unions.
Relatively few jobs are such that literally anyone could walk in and learn to do it in a day. Regardless, the jobs that are like that are still necessary to the success of the business (supposing the owners/managers are smart and don't hire people for useless work). So, again, the particular individual isn't necessary but the position is. They are responsible for the overall success of the business in a way that the management isn't That's not to say management doesn't contribute to success. It just does so in a different way.
Another quality bunch of mayhem!
Again, they need SOMEONE to fill the position, not any specific person. If there are plenty of someones able and willing to step in the second a position is empty, then the company does not need any one person, therefore that person has no negotiating power.
Companies should have to compete with each other for employees, that's how employees get better working conditions. Problem is there are so many barriers to entry that established companies can sit in relative comfort while underpaying employees who desperately need the job.
Yeah, it's obviously capitalism's fault you're such a failure. It certainly can't have anything to do with your shitty attitude.
fill pot of boiling water with dy ice in the office, lock windows and close doors. Fucker will die if enough of the gas is made, also his body wont detect it's not getting oxygen so he'll just pass out and die. or you can just put an egg underneath the cushion of his desk and put a note that says from (insert other co-worker you hate)