I'm the only one of my girlfriends to have never had sex and I'm too embarrassed to tell them about it so one time I made up a story about it like I was in some sort of early 2000s made-for-tv special about how adults think teenagers are
>>683502589 >be me playing in the park >ask girl to come to a bush >I ask to see her bum >she says yeah but I got to show her my pee pee >we 69 >she gets paranoid about someone catching us >she runs off >she was like 8 and I was 30
>>683502589 I was the king of high school until i got caught banging my gf at the time calling her mommy and her calling me son. An entire year of "mother fucker" jokes ensued until i moved away for uni.
>>683508308 That was exactly why I declined. She asked if I was available for a "date" and after telling her I literally only had ten bucks in my pocket until Tuesday, she was adamant on giving a blowjob for it. I asked if she could call any of her other regulars and she said they were all busy (convenient) and then asked about not getting any calls on her ad on backpages to which she said she hasn't gotten any calls lately. She's not a hideous beast, and one of the only white girls in my area who post on backpages so I figured she would get a lot more calls due to her being such a rare case. I've only fucked her with a condom (I'm not dumb) but yeah I'm getting tested regardless. I just wanted to cross it off my bucket list.
>>683502589 I left the woman I bought a house with for a 20 years younger aspergers selfharmer whom I have as of yet only met online. Initially we had some cam sex and sent some pics to eachother, but that has stopped long ago. Now she only uses me to unload all her angst and problems and super dark views on life. I haven't had sex for over a year.
Ive cum on a chicks motorcycle, i work in parking. Also, i found panties in a car, mastered myself. Asian chicks leave shoes and clothes, master myself there too. Gym clothes off a big tittied chink who smells good, those were the days.
>>683502589 >Go to grandmas house >let's camp outside >me and cousin pitch tents >laying in tent together >bored >closest house is over 150 yards away >cousin asks if I want to play nicki nicki nine doors over >I ask what it is >says we get naked and we ring door bell of nextdoor neighbour and run away >okay >get naked >he just stares at me >he goes inside >never speak of it again
>drinking one night >polish off a 13 ounce >need sex >contact random girl who confessed she liked me >ask her where she lives >show up >get even more drunk >fuck >get home at 7am >work at 9 >too drunk to even go to work >never message her again
When im with my wife, I imagine im sum guy off of craigslist, and my wife is cucking an imaginary me sitting in a dark corners. I have her jack me off as she sucks my nips. She knows this much but what i dont tell her is sometimes I imagine Im her uncle that raped her as a kid(she would hate me), and that im imagining im getting seconds while i record her(not really recording, imaginary).
>first year of college >girl showing signs she likes me >start sleeping in her bed >fingering her one night >tells me she's a virgin >just make out >sleep in her bed for a week >girlfriend never found out.
>go to local fair >get in fight with gf >fuck off >find girl who used to have a crush on me >make out >go back to my place >fuck till 7am >sleep for an hour >drive her home >never talk to her again >gf never finds out
>walking in hall and girl says she remembers me from elevator when I was drunk >called her hot >I apologize >she says she liked it >realize she has a boyfriend >one day get her phone number >meet her in her dorm >talking about her relationship problems >I start ticking her waist >we fuck >never talk again
I use to fuck my girlfriend any chance I got while I was a guest at her moms house on weekends, she lived an hour away so I would sleep over. Have many stories, > early morning, bring my ps2 > both of her little brothers are super into the game (u just lost) >im sitting right behind them on a couch and my gf gives me blowjob loved those days
>>683510278 Dude. This but I imagine I'm her dad. He's this fucking monster of a dude and she's his goddamn golden child. I'm older than her she only does older guys. Tear that shit up. Actually made her call me by his name once.
Ok I think I've cracked the code on posting in this thread. I tell a regular story of some boring sex and top it off with "never spoke to her again" to come across as the kind of cool player I think it takes to make you love me, heavily implying the not talking again part was my choice?
I think about sex, alot. Like all the girls that i think are hot will show up in my fantasies. I cant stop thinking about sex, the thoughts are do intrusive but i have a really high libido. Even after i finish in the next 30 mins im ready to go again. But when im in public i see the women who stare at me or touch me or smile when i make eye contact with them they shy away and i know i could easily win them over if i talk to them. Only thing is, iv been dating my current gf for over 7 years lol.
man you must really be one with your chi to have mastered yourself, or you're too insecure to say masturbate like its not totally okay to jerk off on random girls belongings, theres nothing wrong with you
>>683513156 I just don't know man. I don't like people looking into my life. For 2 years I managed to hide it and after we broke up I just continued. Everytime I think about talking about it I just feel weird.
My aunt sucked my dick in the bathroom. Told her i had finally got pubes, she always dared me to show them, making fun of me. She brought it up in a party, everyone was laughing so i said Ill go show her, she said Id chicken out, we go, im about to chicken out, she pulls down my pants. She laughed at how small my dick was, this made me hard for some reason. She grabs it and goes to town. We never spoke about it since.
>be hanging out with a friend from the hood, cool guy >tell him i havent had sex in 5 years during a conversation >wtf bro >bro offers me a chick >tells me she'll rip my head off >sure, cool >get her from his place, all the lights are out >39yo big black woman looks me up and down and asks if i can handle it >get her some red bulls >buy a hotel room and lay on the bed with her >shes amazed i jerk off without lotion >pussy actually fresh and pink, not like i thought itd be >slam her for an hour >though i perform, i can finish without jerkin >stare at a tattoo that says "howlin's bitch" in half-despair as i fuck her raw >sweat everywhere, running down my back >i eat her out and she almost breaks my nose against her pubic bone, jaw sore til 3 days after >have a brief pregnancy scare though she tells me her tubes are tied >no drippy dick or warts, it's been 3 months since this happened >... yep i did that >lessons learned, like wearing a rubber
> Convince wife to go to swingers club > Decide I want to see her get fucked by another guy > Eventually she decides on a guy > She says she wants to do it privately...while I sit in the bar area > Sit there like 30 minutes, guy comes back out and says she was awesome and would like to do it again > I go back kiss her sloppily knowing she has had cock in her mouth > Then I eat her pussy, knowing she has been fucked > Finally fuck her, pussy so wet it's like wet ice on wet ice > Cum buckets > Long drive home, she is so riled up she sucks my dick while driving > Then fucks me again when we get home
Me and my cousin use to do stuff in junior high, like my dick touched her pussy but we didn't know what we were doing. We never talked about it since its been 10 years and I'm so glad I never went through with it because she is so disgusting.
>>683502589>>683502589 >Be me >Be a wanted fugitive (Fedora man wanted or smuggling anime across the border, holding his neighbor's waifu hostage) >She develops stockholm syndrome and wants to fuck >Hear police at door >Set up my defenses >Set up my battle suit >Police bust down door >There is an army of dragon dildos hanging from the ceiling >They fight through them one by one, one officer is down >They get to my mother's basement door >Knocks it down >I reveal myself to them >I am wearing a g string (Backwards of course) >Covered in oil, extra oil on my balls >I scream like a feral human "Your move Mister Police man >Those officers were never the same.
After I dumped my gf of 3 years I found out a coworker of mine who is about to turn 40 was really into me... we got drunk one night and fucked until 5am... now its 2 months later and we are in a relationship... im half her age but shes so fucking hot... and she had her tubes tied after the second kid so i can go bareback and creampie her. Best sex of my life fam.
Passenger in the back of ex bestfriends car, he's driving me back to my house after a night of chillin, his gf jerks me off while he's driving and telling fucknigga stories. Still dont feel bad about it...
>be me >have "girlfriend" in the same grade (quotes because we didn't really know what a girlfriend/boyfriend even was) >hang out in treehouse my older brother built >basically a huge wooden crate way up in a tree >no windows, etc. so adults can't see inside >in there with "girlfriend" >"hey, want to see something weird" >pull out old penthouse mag brother stole from cousin and hid in treehouse >"ew gross" >asks if my weewee looks like that >ask if she wants to see >but of course monseiur
I met a shemale on craigslist one night. She got in my car and I drove to a park and sucked her off. Her cock curved really far to the right, it was my first time licking one. I was really tight in there but I climbed on top of her anyways she was grabbing my hips and bouncing me up and down. I came handsfree when she was still fucking my ass and still think about that somtimes...
The next night we had plans to meet up at a motel. I was waiting about 20 minutes and she came in with these tall, kneehigh spiky boots. She had a hard time getting her panties off and I was rubbing her through them. She had a big wet spot on top of the bulge, I never knew you could have that much precum.
I was sucking it until she was ready for me and took off all her clothes, turned me over and lubed up her dick. I think she was really eager to bust a nut inside me because it was a little bit rough. She was getting close and pounding very hard, she pulled out and laid on the bed and told me to hop on, so I did of course.
She quickly locked her arms around me, driving in and out, thrust upside me and came with a yell. We just stayed there for a while until i could feel the cum leaking a little. In the morning she woke me up with another hardon up my ass. We had a shower and left.
Never talked to her again or done anything like it, i'm married now.
Didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, after highschool...went to a strip club with my best friend and two female friends. Me and one of the female friends made out and shit in the past at parties and what not....she is also engaged to a marine who was off playing soldier.
After strip club, she takes other female friend home and I'm at my best friends house...she gives me a lapdance, we fuck different positions and shit, god damn she had an amazing body...couldn't cum after over an hour of fucking...take off condom, she sucks my dick for literally 30 mins...still couldn't cum...call it quits.
>>683524256 >take out my little willy >actually have a kid stiffy at this point >"you can touch it if you want" >she hems and haws a bit but eventually rubs it a little >"your turn" >again she hems and haws but eventually takes off her pants and underwear >shows me her junk, I kinda get close to check it out in more detail >interdasting.jpg >so now what? >"I think we're supposed to do what they do in the magazine" >figure out from the magazine that penis goes inside vagina >might as well try it
My boyfriend and I had been having sex for about two months, when one night he fucked me so hard I bled for two days and he had to take me to the hospital because we thought he tore some scar tissue or something. The night he took me was when I finally said yes to becoming his gf. Been about 15 months together now.
feeling horny one night and no one around so I went down to the barn. only animal big enough was a llama. she tasted great, and was super tight. stood still the whole time. now whenever no one is around that's the first thing I do.
>>683525222 >she lays down, I get on top, still hard for us to figure out where it goes >"I think this is it" >manage to get it inside >she says it hurts a little >it's basically dry so it hurts me a little too >still keep going (I'd figured out how to masturbate by rubbing my cock on the bed at age 6 or so so I knew if I kept going it would feel good) >"what's it feel like?" >"weird, like when i put my finger in but bigger" >since we're kids we get bored >let's try something else
Im a fat, poor guy with no gf. So whenever i want to have sex, instead of paying an expensive hooker i just drive around in my car looking for homeless girls. Some of them would fuck you for as low as 10 bucks/night or even just some food for her. Its cheaper and some of them get really commited to it since they are actually thankful to have food and a place to spend the night on.
>>683525836 >check magazine again >try doggystyle this time >feels like she's getting wet... maybe? >feels pretty good for me >"when I do this for a while all of a sudden it feels really good" >she basically says "OK" >sure enough I cum (obviously nothing comes out) >"I think I'm done...?" >she puts her clothes on and says "that was weird... kind of cool but weird" >then we go have a snack at her house and play contra on her NES
we basically had sex all that summer. she eventually got into it a little more but we didn't really know what we were doing. obviously we knew it was a big no-no but we enjoyed it and whatnot. now of course I fap to the memory on a regular basis
>>683525631 Not really. I dont get off at the thought of having sex with kids or shit, however at the time i was really stupid and the girl was actually fun to hang out with (like i said, she was very mature for her age, she also knew what we were doing was wrong but she didnt care) Wouldnt do it again but i wouldnt say i regret it either.
Sometimes I imagine I'm desirable enough for my body to be sought after. I imagine that I'm worthy to the point someone wants to strip me of clothes, erase all cultural masks worn, and connect nude body to nude body. I imagine what it's like to feel a naked, smooth body against mine, the racing potter patter of her heart pumping throughout her breast. A couple calluses lining her fingers when she runs her hand down my stomach. I'd like to know what it's like to feel our bodies connect just as our spirits parallel. I want to know what it's like to tighten my grip on bed sheets as I thrust into her like a wave crashing on the shoreline of an iridescent sea. I want to be loved, /b/. That's my sex confession.
I'm going to fuck the shit out of a hamplanet Friday night. I've gotten laid once in the past year and it was my cunt ex-wife on Christmas. I'm going to fuck this fat bitch until I come dust. Then jet and never speak to her again.
>>683502589 > be me >no gf, go out to bars to hook up with girls constantly > have a few drinks, things going well > "so how about we take this to your place, anon?" > "Sure thing" > get back to my place, have a few more drinks > She's having trouble walking at this point >She's ready >take her into the bedroom > "I hope you don't mind, I like to keep the lights off while we do this > She says sure >I strip down and get myself ready >She gets undressed and is waiting for me > I get on top of her, start to put it in >the head pops in >she gasps, then moans as i start to pump > it starts softly, then minutes later become louder and more lustful > " Yes, keep going you stallion!" > begin making horse noises >she's getting to her limit, her moaning comes to a deafening,pleasure-filled howl. >NEEEEIIIGH >pearly white cum pours into her, then out of her as I pull my large member out of her pussy >she slumps onto the bed, and I fall down next to her. >she begins to caress my cheek > what the...? >turns on the light on the nightstand to see me wearing a horse head mask and a horsecock dildo strapon and cumtube syringe >WHIIIINNIIIIIIIII!!!
Let me tell you a story /b/, so this happens with my girlfriend, very pretty girl (8/10). We have a very healthy relationship and we always joke around, we don't take sex seriously.
Anyways, one day we found ourselves having some hot, steamy sex. Felt good, but we had done it quite a lot of times by then. Things were getting a bit stale. It was then that I decided to stir things up a bit. We never talked about our fetishes, but we were pretty confident between us, so I just drop it on her.
>So babe what's your fetish? > I don't really know, I like anal No surprise here though, we had already done it plenty of times
>What's yours She asks back
>Hmm (I start pretending to think of something with a smug face)
So here I planned to just fuck around with her and tell her the most ridiculous or nasty fetish I could think, only to laugh at it and then tell her a real one.
>>683533621 i am currently having the same problem, last time we tried i got my dick in a little bit but then it felt like i was hitting a wall, my dick literally bent it didn't feel good at all. Any advice?
>>683502589 > be me being about to end 1 year dry spell > Super nervous (really like the girl) > Brutal floppy dick > keep fighting the good fight > finally get some wood. not much but some > cant get in in >like stuffing a sock into another sock >finally get it in >two strokes >ungodly amounts of ejaculate > never cummed so much in my life > would have been proud if not for my sorry performance >she starts laughing > want to die > Lost the battle but not the war > seen my pecker now so not shy > try again > actually have intercourse > repeat > repeat > feel sore > pull out, see blood! > wtf is going on? she says its not her > closer inspection. teared banjo > she laughs (claims its not at me) >its at me > end up dating and that night is immortalized at "the four tries night" >3 years later, still with her. > she still laughs about it
>>683533801 the first two times I was really nervous the following times was because of condoms, every time I put that shit my dick lost its erection
I don't know how could I start handle it, I was really ashamed of the situation and my gf kept supporting me.. so I guess at some point understood she didn't care about that, that she really loved me, and that my situation couldn't be worse so.. I said fuck it why should I be ashamed of this, and I try to add more excitement to previous moments, so I can get full erection before putting the condom. I mean, Unless you are really really horny, don't go straight to penetration
that way being horny is easy to deal with confidence issues, because you can't think of anything but to penetrate her
>16 years ago got drunk and fucked random chick at party >5/10 on a good day, who cares, i came >oldfag now, almost 40 went to local party >met young chick and ended up fucking her >ran into her the next day, she was with her mom >mfw her mom is the 5/10 i fucked 16 years ago >mfw this young chick is 15 >mfw her mom pulls me aside and claims the young girl is my daughter >what do /b/?
i recently began talking to my half japanese half mexican xgf just ofr the hell of it. she is always available to fuck and doesn't have a bf.she is more than fuckable cute but i personally dislike her, and my lengthy period of celebicy doesn't bother me at all, but at moments i tempt her with the fact i haven't gotten laid in so long (supposedly she hasn't either) and use my powers of being ultra horny to toy with her, on purpose, knowing full well i will never make that desicion of simply grabbing my car keys and driving to her place and picking her up
Let's see. I've... >Had a girl burst into tears while giving me a blowjob because she was horrible at it and I was just pretending to enjoy it. I dumped her a week later. >Cheated on my 8/10 with a 9/10 family member. >Accidentally molested a drunk girl at a party. We had been making out, but I didn't notice she passed out. >Was walking home drunk from a party and tried to fuck a snowbank.
I'm basically the scum of the earth., no self control.Plenty more stories too.
>>683539918 >>683540294 I'll go in depth with any of these stories, except the incest. It was a horrible idea, and I'll regret it all my life. It's not worth it at all. I lost friends and it ruined my relationship with that person. I'm still sort of depressed by it, and it happened years ago.
Oje time cheated on my ex, fucked this bitch for a good hour. My ex came over maybe 2 hours later, and fucked the hell outta her as well, never had time to shower.
Another time during maybe a 1 year dry spell, found a fuck buddyl could tell she was getting attached but whatever. Met up with a 46y/o (4/10 on a good day). Sex was ok, but the bitch gave the best head
I'm being blackmailed by one of my female friends after she made me smell her shoes on multiple occasions So now she's blackmailing me to do it more But wat she don't know >I have a foot fetish But it still sucks
>>683502589 >get hotel with gf and two m8s >all pitch in so its cheap >all 4 of us doing stuff together the whole time, gf wants it bad >i try to think of opportunities to sneak away, nothing. >balcony hot tub, all 4 of us chilling and drinking >suddenly the 2 bros decide to go do something. check out the main pool room or whatever. >me and gf in public hot tub out in the open broad daylight >she hops in my lap >finger her a little >finger some more >she very quickly orgasms on my finger but keeps it quiet fast forward to that night >simple hotel room, one room 2 beds >we spoon, pretend to be super tired >my boner brushes her legs and ass >she moves super slowly grinding >massive erection >shes soaking wet >dick eventually makes its way into her raw puss >we're basically motionless, all the lights are on, just watching tv and talking with the dudes in the other bed, drinking beers >meanwhile her vag is basically sucking my dick all on its own >feelsgood.jpg >after 15 or 20 mins she squeezes my hand super hard, pussy starts clenching, juice dripping all over >i instantly blow a quarter cup deep into her. felt like jizzing 4 times in a row. Longest lasting ejaculation ever. >we just lay there with our intertwined genitals convulsing on one another, while the rest of our bodies are being perfectly still and maintaining conversation with the guys >they had no idea what was going on under those sheets
>>683541058 >>683541341 I don't know, we've had tried and everytime my dick goes soft. Without condom isn't any problem. And we're both 19 and she still goes to doctor with her dad, so she can't do birth control. Its suck sometimes, but she suck very good so is something
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