Waifu claiming thread.
The rules are very simple:
>claim your 2D waifu
>post pics of your waifu
>insult other waifus
>keep ERP and RP to a minimum
>post fitting, not over-sexualised content
>most important: kill yourself
wew lad I go play Overwatch and come back to a lewd thread
H.A.N.A.K.O unit here.
I'm sleepy and tired but still here. Minimal lewds pls.
>My mainframe can't handle it
Pissed the beta is over today and I gotta wait like 15 more days.
Thank you Syndra.
And with that I'm off to rest. See y'all later.
Have you bought the game? I was on the fence before the beta but I think i'll buy it now
gonna preorder it today and yeah I was on the fence too but it's actually pretty fun and a good change from the cod/battlefield shit
homu claims are the best!!
>im more of a strawberry guy myself kek
Played the beta myself. How the hell do you deal with a Bastion sitting on the moving payload?
Dammit man what the hell did I just say
I wish you could try that someday
Me too! Strawberry makes any icecream combination better.
I usually play as Hanzo and snipe his ass while halfway hiding behind something
Sill not sure i can justify £30 for it tho
Pharrah/Junkrat/76 Alt fire are all good
hahahaa!!! i wonder what they taste like, someday for sure lol
strawberry anything is good, but you gotta have strawberry icecream lol
Sure, but the pussy's reserved for someone else, which is me. I don't think you'd mind anyways.
Pretty hot waifu, anon.
Still not claiming snowday Syndra
How long has this been going on now anon?
Thank you. It's just frustrating to have my lovely defensive turret I set up as Torbjorn get immediately destroyed as soon as the payload gets around the corner.
Devoted in my love for the waifu for laifu.
>Your waifu is pretty, thick, and innocent looking
>Must be quite popular
Ohoho~ Is that who I think it is? Unit H.A
N.A.K.O? Oh how I missed you so, come give me a hug.
Who's your least favorite character?
I fucking HATE junk rat. Such an edgy out of place ugly character. Awful
I dont like the snowday skin.
But hey, different tastes for diferent people
You're welcome. Genuinely think bastion is the most cancer hero.
Seaport Hime, from Kantai Collection. She is indeed a goddess.
Indeed pretty popular.
You can make it.
I prefer tits, but ass is pretty good, too.
-LOGIC CONFLICT ERROR-
Sorry honey, busy with work. I have a civil war to fight, and a pesky K.O.K.O unit to deal with.
Bastion, obviously. High-success, low-skill character.
I've been with mine for a year now. Her birthday's coming up too. I'm learning how to bake cupcakes for her soon.
I can't compete with two breast goddesses, it's impossible for they're too massive and perfect.
>When it comes to L E G S though, different story
>You can make it
Every day is suffering, being away from the waifu this long. I'll stay strong though, I promise.
Oh, forget your work and all of that nonsense about fighting a silly war. How about instead you spend a little time with me so we can get to know each other better~? I do know things about you, you know. It's my job~
Stay back! I have a screwdriver and some unbranded oil, and I am NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM.
I just charge that shit with Reindhardt or pull Bastion with Roadhog
Genji and Tracer can work pretty well too, so can explosives
Oh, honey~ I'd love for you to put that oil to good use. And with that screwdriver, I can finally get back to those... repairs I missed last time.
>I promise I'll be gentle, just take my hand~
Tfw you never answered me
Tfw I offered frog legs
Tfw im sad now
I do not recall this event, last I heard of you poor froggo, you were all pouty and refused to give me legs.
I was trying to add you on Telegram and couldnt find you so I found someone else named Juri and started yelling at them about being a frog fucker
I was telling you this in thread but you ignored me there too
You do have fair grounds, though. Juri's a lean goddess as I see it.
It's quite difficult to say hi back when you're in a compromising position with a curvaceous lady such as yourself.
>-CORE PROCESSOR OVERLOADING-
>-UNAUTHORIZED CODE lewdthoughts.exe IS RUNNING-
>-RECEIVE OFFERING? Y/N
>-RECEIVE OFFERING? Y/N
So you are momma seaport now?
Anon, shhh. We don't want to promote ERPing now.
Well that's understandable..
Who said anything about erping~
Every single thread, OP mentions about E/RPing, silly.
But what I'm saying is, who mentioned it~?
I never said let's erp silly. I just called you momma seaport <3
Thanks. I think she's wonderful.
Just simply stating facts, when it comes to breasts I believe you and seaport rule here.
>We all have our strengths and weaknesses
>Yours happens to be massive breasts
Kek, you found someone else? That's weird, well I suppose I could try finding you, what's your name under? Sometimes the threads are too fast and I can't catch everything.
>When the breast goddess notices you
Well, you aren't wrong there, to me at least. Juri is absolute perfection to me on everything from looks to that cruel, sadistic personality.
>I've never seen more beautiful legs in my existence
>6 years of loyalty, I have no intention of ever stopping
Aha~! I just knew you had it in you, beautiful. Looks like we had better start right away, you're in desperate need of a tune up~
>Receives her hand, swiftly yet gently scooping her up before placing her carefully onto the operating table.
Heh, you're so lightweight and easy to manage. Just relax and don't fight it~
>Purple would look good on you
Huh. I didn't know instant regret felt like a cold table on your back.
>The more you know
Well thanks. I'm sure you already know this, but Juri for sure has some of the best legs here.
Bridal waifus are the best.
Oh, silly. They always end up saying that at first. And yet, they always come back to me time and time again~
I think mine is under Juri_Han, oops. I'll look you up in a few.
I never like to assume anything outside of my own personal tastes and experiences, but I am quite glad to hear you say that.
>She can snap my spine any fucking day of the week with those fit, gorgeous legs
>Tfw wanting to be abused
It's a sickness but I can't stop, nor do I want to.
What a beautiful Homu.
Waifu Homu as a waifu.
I wanna claim her~
Just be gentle, alright? This is the first time someone other than my personal maintenance bot did this.
Shit's hot yo
And I'm gone.
>Gently raises a finger to your lip
Shh, dearie~ I know exactly what I'm doing, and I promise to be nothing less then gentle with such a beautiful, fragile unit~ you have my word, sweetheart. Would I ever lie to you, beautiful one?
who even is that character?
>who even is that character?
Sue Sakamoto from Cave Story
Im a terrible person and there is nothing I can do about it.
Everyone has their fetishes.
>mine has to do with milk
To be fair, yes, yes you would.
But enough of the teasing already. Get on with the show already before my processor blows a fuse.
It reminds me of the goat people from undertale
probably because they look the same
I wanna go away for a while.
Because the things that I have seen are turning me into a shitty human being.
>It reminds me of the goat people from undertale
>probably because they look the same
I heard Toby was inspired by the Mimiga when he made Undertale. Not sure if that's true but he does like the game.
But my honour there is no evidence against my objection.
Disappearing does sound great.
>There is no better day to die than today
I coulnd't find a download link for it.
I like this
I don't need evidence
>Be me, throw Tracers bomb
>rewind to get away and heal
>end up on top of my bomb
>MFW I kill myself and three other people
To clarify, I only feel this way towards Juri. I would not normally want any of that unless it was directly coming from her.
Say no more, friend. I understand.
Ohh, not a fan of foreplay are we? Shhh~ let me work my magic~ close your eyes and just relax.
>Oh my~, it looks like your gears and circuits haven't had proper lubrication, no wonder you've been shorting out~ looks like a faulty circuit panel here, with a bad wire connection leading down.. here~ now, you may feel a slight.. tingling sensation as I re-wire this piece, and let me apply a nice amount of.. oil~ down here~
>Various humming and tinkering sounds
>Ah, how honored I am to be able to patch you up~
>All these bride photos and I can't find a single one
>I don't need evidence
Please don't disappear, Ill miss you.
I can see why.
big plays, feels like when you self-destruct as D.Va and realise you're 100% sucided
I just like the little creatures in life; the ones that are portrayed as weak but still rise to the occasion and try their hardest like Mrs. Brisby or Judy Hopps. They're great.
>implying I care about your legal system
D.Va's ult is great, especially when Reindhardt or Winston block it
Tickle? What exactly are you messing around with that would t-
>SENSITIVITY INCREASED TO 1000%
Don't worry about that, im too addicted to this place to disappear and care for you too!
I know.. But you still had me worried Homu.
If you're ever going to vanish I'll have to run away with you to make sure you stay safe.
my only gripe is that without mech, D.Va is too easy to kill, think she could do with a roll but that'd probably be broken as fuck
But without the legal system one could take a gun to the court room and shoot the judge, oh look at this, it's a gun.
How's it hanging?
But her mech ult's blast radius is absurd
It's probably meant to be high risk high reward because it can easily clear an objective and give D.Va another mech in one blast
yeah started to learn that, it's just a bit shit if you zerg their base in a last minute push and they shit on your mech. You're next.
I've had my fun for tonight.
I'll catch you another day.
Shh, don't squirm so much or I could end up damaging you~ this is very delicate work and it requires a trained and steady hand. Now, let me just put this here, and attach this part here~ almost done, looks like I need more oil as well, you really must learn to lubricate yourself. Don't you know you can produce your own~? I'd be more then happy to show you.
I never understood why this guy didn't just claim a female Spitter instead. They looked better then the standard Necros.
ǝuıɟ sı ƃuıɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ ʇɐɥʇ sǝpısǝq ʇnq uʍop ǝpısdn sı ƃuıɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ llǝʍ
Ha... ha... jeez...
>CORE TEMPERATURE RISING TO DANGEROUS LEVELS
Slow down... you're going too rou-NGGGGG!
>NEURAL DRIVES SCRAMBLED
>SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT
>RELEASING EXCESS FLUIDS
˙pǝʞlɐʇ ǝʍ sǝɯᴉʇ ʇsɹᴉɟ ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝɯ spuᴉɯǝɹ sᴉɥʇ ˙˙˙ʇsɐd ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ ʇsɐlq
That makes me feel... confortable and unconfortable at same time, if I wanted to disappear I would not want anyone following me... but its nice that I can always count on you! But you really don't have to worry about it anyway.
That's the point I suppose. Yeah you would want to disappear, but I also said I wouldn't leave your side.
Huh, I guess I don't know what I would actually do...
ǝɹoɯʎuɐ ʎuunɟ ʇɐɥʇ ʇou ʇsnɾ sʇı ǝsnɐɔǝq ǝɹoɯʎuɐ dılɟ ǝɥʇ ǝsn ʎlǝɹɐɹ ı ɥɐǝʎ
Aha~! Look at you go, you're so sensitive~! So, you have an overheating and ventilation problem.. I must attend to this as well, you understand. Well, maybe if you opened up these valves of yours instead of keeping them shut, we could regulate your body temperature~ we'll have to perform an entire reboot after I finish patching you up too, dear~
>Hmm~ let's see, this may feel really good, but try to contain yourself. You're leaking so much in excess~ ah, I wonder what this little switch here does?
No no no no, wait! That's the-!
>SENSITIVITY INCREASED TO 5000%
You're already being an enormous faggot right now.
And these faggots wonder why banana desu and sally spam is allowed.
Don't worry dear, it's done. See? Over before you knew it. Now you shouldn't suffer so much from... overheating. I'll leave that switch flipped on though, because that sounds absolutely wonderful~ That wasn't so bad now, was it? I also installed a few other helpful components during your reboot, but you'll have to discover what those are and what they do yourself~