ITT: Autistic things we used to do.
>Would call my mother "Mumsy Wumsy" in public.
>Used to keep a catalog of all my shits. Would rate them on size, viscosity, and smell then rate them on a 1-10 scale.
>Used to threaten people with "ninjutsu" at school.
>Did all of this between the ages of 13-17
What about you guys?
>Agreed to show the new Polish autistic kid around the school, he later refused to leave me alone. I had to run from this nigga every time i saw him.
>Used to take my shirt off before P.E ended thinkin im fucking hench af
>Had a yoyo, wore a fedora in yr7-8, carried a pocketwatch
>I was a fedora tipping indie listening yoyo spinning autist ditching hipster before it was cool
Why are you even talking with niggers?
>practice "Radical Ki"
>threaten to use ki techniques against people who pissed me off
>wore Hawaiian t-shirts with sweat pants no matter what the weather was
>ate at and from McDonald's
>tried talking to girls
>make jokes and do stupid things to keep people laughing
>pretend to be Spider-Man by throwing crumbled up paper at friends and "swinging" through the halls of my high school
>made staves out of tree branches to use for magick
>fuck blankets and couches
>cut up hotdogs and put them in ramen
>fapped to league of legends hentai
lolhentai dot net
>gf left me in 5th grade after 2 days i cried so much and was so autistic about it that i had to move schools
>pissed on my grandma's head from the balcony once
>knocked out an autistic kid cus he was calling me names
>>cut up hotdogs and put them in ramen
>in sixth grade was usually really quiet, didn't have many friends
>sometimes I would get really excited or some shit and act stupid
>one time I put my jacket around my face and pretended to be a rock
>ran around with a sharpie scribbling stuff on paper
>accidentally gave a kid who was allergic to peanut butter a peanut butter cookie, told him not to talk with his mouth full when he asked if peanut butter was in it (he was fine, it wasn't really autistic but it was pretty bad)
>once in like 3rd grade or something I nearly cried because I couldn't remember how to do long division on the first day at school
>cried in 2nd grade on first day of school because I thought my cat wouldn't have enough food
I'm fine now though. Kind of an asshole though. I can probably remember more stuff if anyone is interested
>anally masturbate to this day
>use fingers and various other things
>some creme for skin moisturizing serves as best lube ever
>one day fucking myself
>using hair comb's lower part as a dildo
>really long and a good shape
>thrusting it in and out
>feeling liquid coming to my dick
>point it towards my stomach so i dont ruin the walls
>its fucking pee
>start peeing all over my face
>point it away
>fucked walls up
>mfw fucked myself so hard that i pissed myself
oh god. ok.
>i was super ugly before age 18
>when i was around 13, i kept my little finger's nails painted for weeks. used my mom's nail polish. thought it was cool.
>wore a ring at age 13, thought it was cool.
>used to love britney spears. on a school dance i asked out my crush to dance with me to the song "sometimes" and made awkward dance moves fitting to the lyrics.
>kicked a girl in the pussy when i was ~10 because i thought it was my brother. we both had long hair and i only saw him from behind. the girl was terrified.
>>used to love britney spears. on a school dance i asked out my crush to dance with me to the song "sometimes" and made awkward dance moves fitting to the lyrics.
I would have liked too see this.
>coloured my first finger in with black pen out of boredom
>this is in 4th class, euro equivalent of 5th grade
>say it's a bmw (black man's willy)
>show it to nigerian kid in class
>get suspended for six days and put in tard class
>be a horny ass autist
>learn about masturbating
>cant fucking cum
>dont know how to do it
fast forward 3 months
>watch a lot of porn of girls masturbating
>cum for the first time, eyes go 180 to the back of the head, heat fills up my chest, my balls shiver
>nothing comes out
>too young to have sperm
>one day feeling 300% horny
>with a girl on a tree
>tell her about this magic thing called masturbating
>she buys it
>tell her to start putting one finger in and stuff
>she starts getting wet
>she says it feels kinda good but still hurts
>wanted to ask if i can do it
>decided to say no
still thinking of that missed opportunity of getting some pussy at 12y/o even though i consider her my sister
>used to carry a couple of girls on my shoulders whenever they asked me
I only did it because I liked when their feet got close to my dick
also, I could look up their skirts, or just look at their asses in general, when they hopped off
feels impure, my dudes
Used to show my dick to girls when I was 4ish until 10 because they asked. Other boys ostracized me for giving away the mystery of what dicks look like. I saw a few vaginas though, so I guess I'm an autistic winner in this case.
>in the club
>girl starts grinding on me
>i stand there, doing nothing like a fucking autist
>i literally do nothing, I stand still
>suddenly everyone starting to look at me
>my friends started pissing themselves laughing
>turns out my boner was showing quite clearly through my jeans
>the girl runs away in disgust
>i power walk out of the club, order a taxi home and don't talk to anyone for weeks to come
>tfw that single event ruined my entire school life
>tfw i still get nightmares about this
Ive wanked a solid amount, but double digits. damn
I always wanted a pair, but my parents wouldn't buy them since they were black and had chains. I always wanted the purple and black ones.
I don't remember specifics. But the size was somewhere between a 5 and 7 (nothing too spectacular). It was pretty solid, it came out in three LONG peices.
The smell is what put it over though, it was EXTRA methaney. Like, just pure stank, it filled the entire bathroom withing seconds, and lingered for a whole day.
8/10 would shit again.
>I fapped to Overwatch videos this week.
I usually don't fap to cartoons but holy shit some characters from Overwatch get me diamonds.
I owned one pair as an adult when I worked for Gamestop for a couple of months. Way too expensive now; they were $60 then, but $80 now.
I'm going to buy some more eventually and wear them again. I'm going to bring back Tripp Style.
>Used to put shit like ''you need to slit your wrists, get pissed and go jump off a bridge (8)'' on my MSN
>used to put shirtless photos on my bebo
>once brought my fingerbox to school and nobody wanted to play with me
>used to manipulate my butthole with my fingers before I farted in class for the bants
I am turning 18 in few months it is true
I used to run like this... please tell me I wasn't the only one. I want to kill myself.
I used to play robots with a friend in like first grade because I was obsessed with Gundam on Toonami.
Later he turned out to be a freak so I mocked him every chance I could despite feeling relatively okay about myself. He was and still is just a little faggot.
>have longish hair
>pull one out
>pull back foreskin, wind hair around glans
>pull foreskin back up
>slowly drag out the hair
It felt funny in a good way, this was pre-masturbation age though.
I'd also pull out a hair, slowly work it down the inkstraw(?) of a ballpoint pen, pull it back out so I had a hair with a few big droplets of ink on it, and subtly throw it somewhere on the ground in the classroom. Always was the good quiet student, never got caught, made permanent marks in several classrooms. Was around age 10 at the time I think.
No dude I ran a few times like that, and I know kids who ran like this ayy lmao.
Used to stick my erect dick in the cabin of a toy truck (it barely fit, I swear) and push it around.
All of that happened in front of my similarly aged neighbors and my sister in their chalet, oh and it was their toy truck.
When I was a kid I would fall in love with girls but had no interest in sex at all so I'm the creep who saved pics of the girls via social media just to stare at and think how much I loved them. Is that weird-er?
I've been thinking about that lately. It's almost obvious that I was an aspie as a kid in hindsight. You don't really outgrow it though. You just learn to act normal. I'm normal now (I mean i'm pretty socially retarded but not in a way that would make you think something's actually wrong with me) but then again most peoples' process of maturing didn't revolve around making a deliberate concentrated effort every day to blend in and pretend to be normal.
>>cum for the first time
>>nothing comes out
>>too young to have sperm
I liked that phase. Nothing to clean up.
A few months later, when the semen started coming out, I was irritated by the increased mess. I didn't know I had it so good back when I could have a dry orgasm.
>be me in middle school
>lunch time is prime time
>take the balognie out of my sandwich
>rip a hole through the middle with my toung
>call the teacher
>I yell out "you want this"
>I flap my toung rapidly in the balognie as if it was her asshole
>get send to principle office for whole lunch time
>all the guys praise me like allah
I used to steal Pokemon cards from random kids just to give them away to other random kids.
>would take my brother's calculus book to school and pretend I actually understood things
>thought I was making pussies wet
>was a fedora tipping atheist kid, though I didn't wear a fedora or dumb shit cause of uniform rules
>interrupted history class to deffend communism
>told edgy jokes about raping babies to everyone from my class
>everyone drom school knew my retarded e-mail (the translated name of it would be like "[email protected]")
Sort of. I used to play with my hands a lot when I was a kid since they helped me model whatever I was imagining. Usually I would act out space battles or some shit using absolutely nothing since toys were limiting and usually fucking gay.
Then my dad and brother caught me doing it and laughed hysterically, so I never really did it again.
>friend has smoking hot gf
>staying over at his house
>find her used thong in his room
>fap vigorously using it
Still feel like a fucking faggot for doing it. Anyone else do something similar?
Fun fact- the actress was actually Lycia Naff, and she was the same woman that played the three breasted hooker in Total Recall.
I just knew that off the top of my head because I'm a fucking nerd.
I'm 23 and sometimes I'll beat it 3-4 times in a day. It's pretty rare considering I usually only do 4-7 faps a week.
I haven't had a girlfriend in over a year and I drink a lot so I'm always horny
I follow her on Twitter. I like all of her posts.
>Be me, summer after 7th grade
>always thought playing with my dick when I was alone was funny
>one night, watching King of the Hill at 1:00 a.m.
>Luanne in a swimsuit or some shit, it was almost a fuckin' decade ago
>get a huge boner
>start jacking off, "LOL HEY SELF, ISN'T THIS SO FUNNY HAHA"
>actually feels hella, keep doing it
>think I'm about to piss, give my dick a "downy girl with her pet bunny" squeeze to hold it in
>I just came
fast forward two months
>sleepover at friend's house
>he's on his parents' laptop
>asks if I've ever watched porn
>only ever watched (in horror, mind you) that Zone Starfire video
>he pulls up porn, instant diamonds
>start jacking off, he laughs his ass off
>ask if I can borrow one of his socks
>bust a huge fucking nut in his sock, his sides have vacated the galaxy
>never mentioned it to each other again
I have this shit at night.
When Im trying to sleep at 2am and suddenly I start thinking of all the cringey fucking crap I did when I was younger
>Why did I say that
>I should've said something else
Makes me want to punch my younger self in the fucking throat.
And before you know it, It's 5am
social skills develop like anything else, if you stay inside a lot when you're young you will seem like some sperg weirdo when you try to make friends
also playing sports or joining clubs helps with social skills. autism and aspergers are a thing but people can be pretty wrong about self diagnoses
nice reading comprehension
>~8 years old
>on vacation in Wisconsin
>older siblings, cousins, and dad playing basketball at an outdoor court
>too young to play with them
>playing on nearby playground alone
>game takes forever, really have to pee
>keep telling myself we'll leave soon
>hold it to the point I'm about to piss myself
>stand up to run and tell dad
>nope, can't make it that far
>pull pants down on playground and start pissing on the playground equipment
>dad bellows my name
>look over, everyone is staring. most are laughing
>floodgates opened, couldn't stop
>dad comes and grabs me, angrily leads me to nextdoor park building
>opens door, throws me into the restroom that was there the whole time
>don't have to pee anymore
>How old were you when you started?
I started getting near-orgasms about age 10.
At first, it was just a huge build-up of tension that felt awesome, but it would just gradually fade away.
A few months later, I started getting a spasm at the end. My first thought was WTF was that? Then I started getting the spasm every time at the end.
Over the months, the spasm at the end got stronger and stronger. Eventually, that spasm felt so good that it became my favorite part.
Then when I was close to 11, I started getting liquid drops on the tip, but no semen yet. Maybe a few months later the semen started spurting.
>Threaten people with ninjutsu at school
>tried to be normal
it's fucking cancerous
>tried to have a girlfriend
it's tiring as fuck. So much responsibility. It's like having an expensive pet
>tried to obey the law and be a constructive person for the society
most autistic thing ever because when you're young bullying gets worse and when you grow up thieves take advantage of you being passive, along with the fact that manipulative people know you won't fight back with violence.
good thing I woke up at the right time to partially fix my mistakes. I wish I did it sooner
Off topic but I'd bury my dick so far into Liberty
>friend in 3rd grade told me about jacking off
>tried it once kind of deftly moving my dick back and forth
>same friend and I made up curse words one time
>guy turned out to be a total asshole, one day for no reason he told me if I ever came to his house again he would kill me
>our last names started with the same letter so I was always in the same classes as him
>ignored him for the rest of the time I was at school with him
Let's tag-team it. JT's dead, so it's cool.
>>Used to keep a catalog of all my shits. Would rate them on size, viscosity, and smell then rate them on a 1-10 scale.
>>Used to threaten people with "ninjutsu" at school.
What is autistic about that? You're simply a freak.
You are the fat friend.
BTW, I just realized I have NOTHING in common with any of y'all niggers.
I may be socially awkward but I'm not a fucking retard like the rest of /b/
>I liked that phase. Nothing to clean up.
>A few months later, when the semen started coming out, I was irritated by the increased mess. I didn't know I had it so good back when I could have a dry orgasm.
2 in the pink, 1 in the stink, come on in.
>made a 'swearword dictionary' in primary school, bullies found it, they laughed at me
>there was a kid who was willing to talk to me, called me shadow to embarrass me cuz I followed everywhere
> I was proud of that name and thought it was cool
I'm still a social potato who just cannot decide when to say or not say something and doesn't notice when says creepy things.
>be me 18 y
>live with beautiful, funny girl
>we are not together
>she has a boyfriend
>just living together in another town for work
>apartment is small so we both sleep in the same kingssize bed
>I loved her from the time we got there
>naturally, being close together at work, at home and sleep next to each other, her feelings towards her boyfriend vanes while she starts to like me
>she eventually starts to hit on me hard, starts sleeping naked, wants to cuddle, massage etc
now this would have been fucking great for me if I wasn´t so young and naive but especially so autistic
My respond to her advances?
>"You have a bf, I cant do anything and neither should you"
>"No, we CANT, you have a boyfriend
>"It wouldn´t be right"
And so on, my "high moral/autistic compass fucked me over
Eventually she lost interest, the job got done, we went separate ways.
I lost the love of my life because I wanted right to be right and I still regret it today, 9 years later.
Because she asked why i was beating her
>frrshman in high school
>normal kid, decently attractive
>have to do presentation for history class about world war 2
>whatever.jpg have no problem doing presentations
>during the middle of my speech I notice I'm short of breath
>feel my muscles start to tense up
>legs feel like jello
>entire body shaking like a leaf
>voice shaking even worse
>feel like I'm literally dying
>didn't know it at the time but it was my first panic attack
>try to finish my presentation but I can't
>entire class looking at me in shock and disbelief
>some kids had their phones out and were recording me
>smirks and laughs everywhere
>slink back to my chair
>bury my head in my arms on my desk
And that was the day my nightmare with social anxiety and various other anxiety related things that were slowly but surely creeping into my life started. From that day on I couldn't do a presentation or even read in front of people again. Complete nervous wreck/social outcast for the rest of high school.
> be horny teen
> understand mechanics of sex
> abstract to dick must enter somewhere
> decide to use plastic bottle
> bottleneck is too narrow, tip won't fit
> scrape opening over tip till come
> repeat for months maybe years before I get the ingenious idea of using my hands
> recently realized I might have caused irreparable damage
>had flame jeans in primary school, slid around on them in school discos
>hid my shit under my parents bed when I was a toddle
>pissed out the cat flap multiple times
>ripped out this page three model to masterbate over, this newspaper had dog shit on it, not on but around.
> do Taichi shit
> thought I could dissolve clouds and shit
> thought I could control wind, fire, earth, and water shit
> told all my friends at school about it
>had violet velvet coat looking like Hugh Heffner for an entire year in high school
>didn´t realize santa who came by our house was probably the neighbour. Fuoriously tried to get everyone to believe it was the actual santa while everyone looked at me as I was a retard. I didn´t give up on "the real santa" thing until I was like 13y
I don't share bro
Wonder what she does now anyways?
>once in like 3rd grade or something I nearly cried because I couldn't remember how to do long division on the first day at school
i would had cried too if something embarrasing like this had happened to me
generally all your points are not autistic at that age
>I used to walk around school with my headphones on and listened to fucking dubstep with the volume turned up way to loud on purpose so other people would hear it when I walked.
I still don't know why, maybe I thought it made me seen cool. I now actually have some hearing damage because of it. Jesus Christ I was so fucking autistic.
I used to cuddle with half naked babes while I was an oblivious virgin. I remember one of them once said how she would play with her ex's balls to fall asleep and she couldn't sleep without it. All I said was wow that sucks and rolled over and went to bed.
Fucken retard 16 year old me.
>Be like 8 - 9 or some shit
>Horny as fuck cuz hormones and shit
>ask a friend to practice sex on eachother so we can impress the girls and not have shitty 10 second sex
>give eachother blowjobs
>no cums but so good yet wrong feeling
>wrote him a letter i didn't want to be his friend anymore
>Never spoke about it since
I dunno. I had slept and cuddled with her probably a dozen times before and I remember she would grind her ass on my dick and if turn away in case I got a boner. In hindsight I think she was just frustrated and wanted me to do something so she gave me an opportunity to say play with mine then.
Shit still haunts me to this.
A finger box all though it may seem to be a relatively simple device, it is not on the contrary of being simple a finger box is more than a box with a hole in it, it is a massively complex device containing more than a thousand separate components per box, usually with nine boxes per set that makes over nine thousand separate components, but the device will work limitedly with just one box.
Finger boxing is also known as fingering and boxing and is a massive fad among teens aged 13-18, the device in a simpler form were first invented by William John Trolington over 100 years ago in Australia.
A Finger box basically simulates a feeling, originally this was accomplished with mechanical devices in the box with some extremely cruel pranksters putting item such as glass and nails in witch would often decapitate the finger, this led to a act of parliament in 1919 by the UK banning the devices, which was quickly followed by the rest of the world.
Although still banned the “underground market” off finger boxes saw a boom in sales during the 1980’s and was redeveloped into its current electrical module in the mid 1990’s buy an unnamed Chinese worker.
The device works on the same principals as electrical prosthetic limbs, an electrical impulse is shot up the nervous system that will make the hand think that it is feeling something; anything can be simulated such as stroking a cat or shaking a hand.
The finger box costs around 50 per box and are usually sold out within minutes they have reportedly have gone for over 200 per box on ebay.
>made out with fiona.
I moved to a foreign country right when the "Boiling Point" arc came out. Hadn't been able to watch Degrassi since.
Just follow her on Twitter, kek
>jerked off in school as a kid so much that I assimilated the feeling of orgasming with the color of the tiles
>would get hard whenever I went into school bathroom
>would pry up different tiles from around school
>remade a 3x3 foot square of tiles in my closet
>I would always jerk off over it in my closet
>this kept going for about 4 years
I still sometimes look at pictures of tiles to get me hard.
>first time I have this sort of flirting going on with girl. first girlfriend I thought she would be
>she asks if I want to meet up for make out session
>she calls me desperate and all this shit
>I keep arguing with her and clinging on
>she calls me a paedophile, I argue back "you have to be an adult to be a paedophile" instead of actually explicitly stating I am in fact not a paedophile
>she makes fun of me for another three years of school
still cringe to this day desu
>I see you driving around town with the girl I love
>and I'm like
>ooh ooh ohh
>I once bit part of a kid's cheek off for insisting that girls had tits.
>I would have heartfelt conversations with the eagle on the outdoor school flagpole.
>Cried at school once because my lunch got wet.
>Insisted I was part of a NASA kid astronaut program.
>Would tell people I could play musical instruments I could not play, then follow through by playing instruments badly in front of them.
>Wore a fake mustache for weeks once school let out, offering to let people feel it.
>Had an aquarium full of insects. Referred to them as pets. Never fed them, so they all died.
>Daydreamed about meeting cartoon characters who would magically turn me into a Sonic like character named Wowser, who was better than Sonic because he could fly.
>believed a replica of our world existed
>except it had dragons instead of people
>each person was linked to a dragon
>I could find out what their dragon was by staring into their eyes and seeing the right color type
>would stare into my best friend as a kids eyes as a kid as he played along with whatever imagination i would come up with.
>he turned out to be gay when HS ran alone
>realized i'm the reason why
my autistic powers have shaped many lives.
Oldfag here. Told schoolyard friends i had robot arm like the terminator. Movie was out about this time. They didn't believe me so i stole a knife from home and basically stabbed myself in the wrist to show robot parts.
After hospital visit spent years in therapy because they thought a 6 year old tried to suicide.
Parents still don't know truth today
>young footfag, maybe 13
>three older and very athletic sisters
>would steal dirty socks from them, seal them in sandwich bags, named with dates
>would masturbate furiously while inhaling the stink
>after a while they'd lose their aroma and I'd work them back into the laundry
>they never found out
>one older sister passed out drunk on couch
>spend over an hour sniffing and licking her bare feet
>again no one was the wiser
Thankfully this was all a stage that i got over once I found the Internet and could find other ways to indulge. I definitely look back and cringe.
>>i had fantasy wanks over pictures of girls from my school
>pls tell me I'm not the only one that did this
What the fuck. do you seriously think that you are the only one to do that. Most people here could fap to a hole in the wall. Every horny kid above the age of 13 has done that.
>called dad Deedoe and mom Meemoe in public
>always wore something that had eagles on it
>had a pocket watch
>use to bang my head against things in public to get people's attention
>I always wore my hood in middle school and constantly was sent to the principles office because I would argue with teachers about it being disrespectful
>when ever I touched some body I would have to shake that part of my body to "get the germs off"
>use to be a faggot emo kid
There is probably more I'm missing. I was a little retard. I'm still pretty stupid but at least I'm not overly autistic now. Just a little.
At best I can do 2 a day while also keeping the girlfriend happy. If you do it any more than that, there is no way, especially while dating, you're going to be able to properly satisfy your partner while also not becoming sore as fuck. At least in my experience in the last few years, then again I'm 30.
I used to fap using my PSP because I was affraid that my parents could some how tell I searched for porn on my phone. Unfortunately the most I could do was look at pictures so then when I decided to say fuck it and got a smart phone porn on video was like fucking magic