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ITT: Autistic things we used to do.
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ITT: Autistic things we used to do.

>Would call my mother "Mumsy Wumsy" in public.

>Used to keep a catalog of all my shits. Would rate them on size, viscosity, and smell then rate them on a 1-10 scale.

>Used to threaten people with "ninjutsu" at school.

>Did all of this between the ages of 13-17

What about you guys?
>>
>Agreed to show the new Polish autistic kid around the school, he later refused to leave me alone. I had to run from this nigga every time i saw him.

>Used to take my shirt off before P.E ended thinkin im fucking hench af

>Had a yoyo, wore a fedora in yr7-8, carried a pocketwatch

>I was a fedora tipping indie listening yoyo spinning autist ditching hipster before it was cool

>4chan prodigy
>>
bump, lurking
>>
>>683300253
>I talked to a nigga and i did not enslave him

I'm still traumatised...
>>
Op here back with more.

>Beat the everloving SHIT out of a girl, had to more schools.

>Made one find at new school. Him and I would compare penis sizes.
>>
>used to ride my bike in our garden making guitar and drum sounds
>>
>>683302099
Why did you beat her? Story?
>>
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>>683301658
Why are you even talking with niggers?
>>
Jej
>>
>I was the kid who ran like sonic in school in 4-5th grade
>>
>>683300253
>>Would call my mother "Mumsy Wumsy" in public.

That made me laugh out loud.
>>
>>683302826
I think everyone did that, or is that my autism that is speaking ?
>>
>>683302099
you talk like you compared sizes more than once.
>>
>>683302099
OP is a faggit & autismo
>>
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>>683303049
I think so yeah. I didn't do that.
>>
>browse 4chan
>>
>>683302450
She told me she's a trap after i fucked her boipussi really hard

I was 2 drunk 2 see
>>
>>683300253
>practice "Radical Ki"
>threaten to use ki techniques against people who pissed me off
>wore Hawaiian t-shirts with sweat pants no matter what the weather was
>ate at and from McDonald's
>tried talking to girls
>make jokes and do stupid things to keep people laughing
>pretend to be Spider-Man by throwing crumbled up paper at friends and "swinging" through the halls of my high school
>made staves out of tree branches to use for magick
>fuck blankets and couches
>cut up hotdogs and put them in ramen
>>
>>683300253
>i had fantasy wanks over pictures of girls from my school

pls tell me I'm not the only one that did this

>also fapped over naked blood elfs in world of warcraft
>>
>>683303690
then it's a HE, not a SHE
>>
>>683303836
Everyone has done this
>>
>>683303836
>i had fantasy wanks over pictures of girls from my school

>pls tell me I'm not the only one that did this

you are not
>>
>>683303836
1st thing: me 2

2nd thing: me 2

3rd thing: my ass dick is small

4th thing: i'm a fat fucking virgin
>>
>>683303920
Stfu i'm OP and i'm gonna fuck up them tranny whores
>>
>fapped to league of legends hentai

lolhentai dot net

>gf left me in 5th grade after 2 days i cried so much and was so autistic about it that i had to move schools

>pissed on my grandma's head from the balcony once

>knocked out an autistic kid cus he was calling me names
>>
I did erotic roleplay in school with my 2 friends. One was a fat ugly girl and we'd both be knights fighting for her love.
>>
anyone else feel that might have been boderline aspie but grew out of it in their late teens early 20's but still do the odds autismo thing from time to time
>>
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>>683303718
>>cut up hotdogs and put them in ramen
holy shit
>>
>>683300253
you did not catalog your shits
>>
>>683304269
Last thing isn't autistic, but you should have killed him instead of just knock him out
>>
>>683304344
I know....
>>
>>683303049
I did too
>>683302826
>>
>in sixth grade was usually really quiet, didn't have many friends
>sometimes I would get really excited or some shit and act stupid
>one time I put my jacket around my face and pretended to be a rock
>ran around with a sharpie scribbling stuff on paper
>accidentally gave a kid who was allergic to peanut butter a peanut butter cookie, told him not to talk with his mouth full when he asked if peanut butter was in it (he was fine, it wasn't really autistic but it was pretty bad)
>once in like 3rd grade or something I nearly cried because I couldn't remember how to do long division on the first day at school
>cried in 2nd grade on first day of school because I thought my cat wouldn't have enough food
I'm fine now though. Kind of an asshole though. I can probably remember more stuff if anyone is interested
>>
>anally masturbate to this day
>use fingers and various other things
>some creme for skin moisturizing serves as best lube ever
>one day fucking myself
>using hair comb's lower part as a dildo
>really long and a good shape
>thrusting it in and out
>feeling liquid coming to my dick
>ohshitimgonnacum.jpeg
>point it towards my stomach so i dont ruin the walls
>its fucking pee
>start peeing all over my face
>point it away
>fucked walls up
>mfw fucked myself so hard that i pissed myself
>>
>I used to wank 4-6 times for about 2 months back when I was 16 (I think it was some puberty phase)

Anyone else went through this or was I just an autist?
>>
>>683303049
Meh, I'm autistic and I did that, so both of your facts are correct
>>
>>683304826
>I used to wank 4-6 times A DAY
missed that out for some reason
>>
>>683300253
oh god. ok.

>i was super ugly before age 18

>when i was around 13, i kept my little finger's nails painted for weeks. used my mom's nail polish. thought it was cool.

>wore a ring at age 13, thought it was cool.

>used to love britney spears. on a school dance i asked out my crush to dance with me to the song "sometimes" and made awkward dance moves fitting to the lyrics.

>kicked a girl in the pussy when i was ~10 because i thought it was my brother. we both had long hair and i only saw him from behind. the girl was terrified.
>>
>>683303836
your second statement is too true
>>
>>683302450
She called me "five head" day after day. Then made some joke about my dead brother. I snapped and went full chimp on her.
>>
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>>683305004
I still do this
>>
>that black shirt with the flames around the bottom
>>
>>683303718
>>cut up hotdogs and put them in ramen
I did this in college when my employer fucked up everyone's payroll and I had little in the bank
>>
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>>683305173
>>used to love britney spears. on a school dance i asked out my crush to dance with me to the song "sometimes" and made awkward dance moves fitting to the lyrics.

I would have liked too see this.
>>
>>683303183
Yes sir. He touched my butthole once.
>>
>>683304768
>>683304826
Wat
>>
>coloured my first finger in with black pen out of boredom
>this is in 4th class, euro equivalent of 5th grade
>say it's a bmw (black man's willy)
>show it to nigerian kid in class
>get suspended for six days and put in tard class
>>
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>>683305305
This was you?
>>
>>683304413
Swear to fucking god. I still remember January 7th 2009 being a particularly amazing shit.
>>
>be a horny ass autist
>before puberty
>learn about masturbating
>cant fucking cum
>dont know how to do it


fast forward 3 months

>watch a lot of porn of girls masturbating
>ohshitgonnafap
>cum for the first time, eyes go 180 to the back of the head, heat fills up my chest, my balls shiver
>nothing comes out
>too young to have sperm
>one day feeling 300% horny
>with a girl on a tree
>tell her about this magic thing called masturbating
>she buys it
>ohfuckyes
>tell her to start putting one finger in and stuff
>she starts getting wet
>she says it feels kinda good but still hurts
>wanted to ask if i can do it
>decided to say no
still thinking of that missed opportunity of getting some pussy at 12y/o even though i consider her my sister
>>
>>683305606
The very same
>>
>>683305614
Tell me more about the shit
>>
>be a shitcunt at everything, all the time
>>
>used to carry a couple of girls on my shoulders whenever they asked me
I only did it because I liked when their feet got close to my dick
also, I could look up their skirts, or just look at their asses in general, when they hopped off
feels impure, my dudes
>>
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>>683304768
>>
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>>683305305
>>683305606
>>683305700
>>
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>>
>>683305680
moar?
>>
>>683305950
dear god
>>
>>683304826
I hit that pretty hard too. I'm 18 and I still average one a day, but I used to hit double digits some days
>>
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>>683306092
>>
>>683304768
Topkek
>>
>>683306065
i had more autist stories about her, she was pretty open with me about her pussy,but i never made a move
>>
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>>683301208
Your mom must be proud
>>
Used to show my dick to girls when I was 4ish until 10 because they asked. Other boys ostracized me for giving away the mystery of what dicks look like. I saw a few vaginas though, so I guess I'm an autistic winner in this case.
>>
>>683300253
>in the club
>girl starts grinding on me
>i stand there, doing nothing like a fucking autist
>i literally do nothing, I stand still
>suddenly everyone starting to look at me
>my friends started pissing themselves laughing
>turns out my boner was showing quite clearly through my jeans
>the girl runs away in disgust
>i power walk out of the club, order a taxi home and don't talk to anyone for weeks to come

>tfw that single event ruined my entire school life
>tfw i still get nightmares about this
>>
>>683306266
you're not even serious now
that's so far
>>
>doing the worm
>>
used to fap to facebook selfies of female friends and coworkers as a teen

pls tell me i wasnt the only one
>>
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>>683306190
>double digits
damn son
Ive wanked a solid amount, but double digits. damn
>>
>>683306266
This was me in high school. I wasn't "goth" or anything, Just a metalhead.
Glad i grew out of the clothes though.
>>
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>>683306396
I always wanted a pair, but my parents wouldn't buy them since they were black and had chains. I always wanted the purple and black ones.
>>
>>683306405
>pls tell me i wasnt the only one
nope
>>
>got my dick sucked by a guy in kindergarden while not even knowing what the fuck was happening
> realised what the fuck happened few years later
>>
>>683305755
I don't remember specifics. But the size was somewhere between a 5 and 7 (nothing too spectacular). It was pretty solid, it came out in three LONG peices.

The smell is what put it over though, it was EXTRA methaney. Like, just pure stank, it filled the entire bathroom withing seconds, and lingered for a whole day.

8/10 would shit again.
>>
>>683305241
Dead brother joke? Sdi. I would've killed her.
>>
I had a wallet with a chain and velcro and a skull on it
>>
>>683306557
did you own any, though?
desire is something everyone has
it depends on whether or not you carried through
>>
>>683306557
I had the purple ones too, But there was a fight in 11th grade where i ripped them off and choked a guy out.
>expelled
feelsbadman.jpg
>>
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>I fapped to Overwatch videos this week.

I usually don't fap to cartoons but holy shit some characters from Overwatch get me diamonds.
>>
>>683306452
After a while you kind of stop cumming, and it kind of hurts. I think I genuinely had a problem. But, that shit fixed itself, so I don't give a fuck anymore
>>
>>683306770
i meant to say ripped off the chains hahahahaha
>>
>>683306376
Was she hot?
>>
>>683303836
everyone did that
>>
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>>683306720
I owned one pair as an adult when I worked for Gamestop for a couple of months. Way too expensive now; they were $60 then, but $80 now.

>>683306770
>>683306911
kek
>>
>>683306405
Even "normal" people do that
>>
>>683306911
Your earlier version tells a very different story
>>
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>>683306770
Like this?
>>
>>683306634
Was this your best shit?
>>
>>683307025
unforgivable
>>
>>683304325
I know this feel
>>
Hot chick, speaking to another person: "Kiss my ass."
Me, suddenly, out of nowhere: "Okay!"
>>
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>>683306794
>>
>>683307040
>>683307030


>>683306911
kek
>>
>>683306592
Was he a student
>>
>>683304325
You can still find acceptance among other autismos.
>>
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>>683307137
I'm going to buy some more eventually and wear them again. I'm going to bring back Tripp Style.
>>
>>683307048
Top 10 for sure. I'd place it around 4.

Number one was an hour long, fully asshole dilating shit.
>>
>>683306854
Hey, if it sorted itself out then fuck it, yeah. No problem.
>>
>>683307333
A post worthy of trips
>>
>>683307318
Yes yes not a guy but a kid I shouldn't have said guy
>>
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>>683307323
god speed senor
>>
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>>683307355
mooooods

enjoy your ban, fam
>>
>>683307355
Hahahaha I don't believe you are 17 faggot.
>>
>>683307204
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5697ffaea823d
>>
>Be under 10
>Wear short shorts without briefs
>Pull shorts up so I can piss out of the leg hole
>Almost always have hands in my pants
>Never jerk off, just socially retarded
>>
>Used to put shit like ''you need to slit your wrists, get pissed and go jump off a bridge (8)'' on my MSN

>used to put shirtless photos on my bebo

>once brought my fingerbox to school and nobody wanted to play with me

>used to manipulate my butthole with my fingers before I farted in class for the bants
>>
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>>683307355
Mods
>>
>>683307333
Tell me about nUmber one
what did you eat
Size
Smell
Pics?
i want to see your masterpiece
>>
>>683304826
I did 4-6 times a day from 14 to 16. I think it's just high testosterone or something
>>
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>>683307527
>>683307479
I am turning 18 in few months it is true
>>
Extremely competitive
Very aggressive
>>
I used to run like this... please tell me I wasn't the only one. I want to kill myself.
>>
>>683303561
kek fag
>>
>>683304269
lolhentai has some good shit besides the feet fetishists
>>
>>683307850
P.S do you like my original mee mee? I made it yesterday
>>
>>683304768

Can't tell the difference between the "i'm gonna cum" versus the "i'm gonna piss" feelings?

That sounds like some kind of physiological problem.
>>
>>683307850
You are not showing any proof
It's like saying you have a 3 balls and you are not sharing pics
>>
>>683304344
Hotdogs are goat Ramen add in!
>>
>>683304321
wasn't there an Ugly Betty episode about this?
>>
I used to play robots with a friend in like first grade because I was obsessed with Gundam on Toonami.
Later he turned out to be a freak so I mocked him every chance I could despite feeling relatively okay about myself. He was and still is just a little faggot.
>>
>have longish hair
>pull one out
>pull back foreskin, wind hair around glans
>pull foreskin back up
>slowly drag out the hair
It felt funny in a good way, this was pre-masturbation age though.
I'd also pull out a hair, slowly work it down the inkstraw(?) of a ballpoint pen, pull it back out so I had a hair with a few big droplets of ink on it, and subtly throw it somewhere on the ground in the classroom. Always was the good quiet student, never got caught, made permanent marks in several classrooms. Was around age 10 at the time I think.
>>
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>>683307371
>>
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>>683307897
No dude I ran a few times like that, and I know kids who ran like this ayy lmao.
>>
>>683307567
>used to manipulate my butthole with my fingers before I farted in class for the bants

Why?
>>
>>683305614
Have you ever purposefully ate a lot of dark chocolate or coffee products to achieve undertones in the smell?
>>
>>683307611
lurking for this. please greentext
>>
>>683308126
I am not going to take a pic of my ID card, just for some random guy to not think I have lied to be 17 for some reason?
>>
>>683300253
>>683301208
>>683301658
>>683302266

you are all still beyond saving and should no reproduce.
>>
>>683307567
>"you need to slit your wrists, get pissed and go jump off a bridge"
>edgy, shitty band lyrics
>>
I used to like rage comics and even made one once. I think I might need serious help Anons
>>
Am I the only one here who has vivid memories of an extremely cringey line you said when you were a child? When I do this I still feel embarrassed for my kid self.
>>
Used to stick my erect dick in the cabin of a toy truck (it barely fit, I swear) and push it around.
All of that happened in front of my similarly aged neighbors and my sister in their chalet, oh and it was their toy truck.
>>
>>683308711
>writing this sort of shit on my pencil case in school
>>
>>683307611
We want this
>>
>>683302826
Not that late, but in daycare
>>
>>683303965
When I was a kid I would fall in love with girls but had no interest in sex at all so I'm the creep who saved pics of the girls via social media just to stare at and think how much I loved them. Is that weird-er?
>>
>>683304325
I've been thinking about that lately. It's almost obvious that I was an aspie as a kid in hindsight. You don't really outgrow it though. You just learn to act normal. I'm normal now (I mean i'm pretty socially retarded but not in a way that would make you think something's actually wrong with me) but then again most peoples' process of maturing didn't revolve around making a deliberate concentrated effort every day to blend in and pretend to be normal.
>>
>>683308844
I don't remember saying anything cringy but one Christmas I ran around the house in just my underwear in front of relatives
>>
>>683305680
>>cum for the first time
>>nothing comes out
>>too young to have sperm

I liked that phase. Nothing to clean up.

A few months later, when the semen started coming out, I was irritated by the increased mess. I didn't know I had it so good back when I could have a dry orgasm.
>>
>be me in middle school
>lunch time is prime time
>take the balognie out of my sandwich
>rip a hole through the middle with my toung
>call the teacher
>she looks
>I yell out "you want this"
>I flap my toung rapidly in the balognie as if it was her asshole
>get send to principle office for whole lunch time
>all the guys praise me like allah
>>
>>683304325
>>683308844
yes x 2
>>
I used to steal Pokemon cards from random kids just to give them away to other random kids.
>>
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>would take my brother's calculus book to school and pretend I actually understood things

>thought I was making pussies wet

>was a fedora tipping atheist kid, though I didn't wear a fedora or dumb shit cause of uniform rules

>interrupted history class to deffend communism

>told edgy jokes about raping babies to everyone from my class

>everyone drom school knew my retarded e-mail (the translated name of it would be like "[email protected]")
>>
>>683303690
Shh She ?

if its got a cock its a he you fuckin retard , druck and you fucked a man , hang you`re head in shame
>>
> read boring threads on /b/
>>
>>683308844
Sort of. I used to play with my hands a lot when I was a kid since they helped me model whatever I was imagining. Usually I would act out space battles or some shit using absolutely nothing since toys were limiting and usually fucking gay.
Then my dad and brother caught me doing it and laughed hysterically, so I never really did it again.
>>
>>683300253
>be me
>16, virgin
>friend has smoking hot gf
>staying over at his house
>find her used thong in his room
>fap vigorously using it

Still feel like a fucking faggot for doing it. Anyone else do something similar?
>>
>>683304826
first off, UNDERAGE B&

second, bitch I'm 30 and I still do it that often, if not more. GFless for a year now qq
>>
>>683309208
How old were you when you started? I was like 6ish and I think my dad ignored it because he thought I'd lose interest.
>>
>>683309541
Yes. I fucked my friends girlfriend repeatedly.
>>
>>683309260
>1997
my negro
>>
>>683300253
Damn op. You're literally autistic.
>>
>>683307323
Fun fact- the actress was actually Lycia Naff, and she was the same woman that played the three breasted hooker in Total Recall.

I just knew that off the top of my head because I'm a fucking nerd.
>>
>>683307611
Still waiting
>>
>>683304826
I'm 23 and sometimes I'll beat it 3-4 times in a day. It's pretty rare considering I usually only do 4-7 faps a week.

I haven't had a girlfriend in over a year and I drink a lot so I'm always horny
>>
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>>683309846
I follow her on Twitter. I like all of her posts.
>>
>>683309703
Shit bruh, that's intense. Hope she was at least 8/10.
>>
>>683307897
>wikiHow
What exactly was being taught on this page?
>>
>>683306376
>going to a club and not dancing

wtf
>>
Damn I'm 18 and can only fap a max of twice a day. Like after that beating my dick is like a chore and the orgasms are weak as fuck
>>
>>683309255
Please tell me you told people you were Team Rocket or some such shit
>>
>>683308954
Please don't remind me of this habit... I still think it might be worse.
>>
>>683310097
How to Run Like a Ninja
>>
>>683308954
just kind've a girly thing to do
>>
>>683307567
You had a fingerbox? That's cool I had one to when I was a kid they were great.
>>
>Be me, summer after 7th grade
>always thought playing with my dick when I was alone was funny
>one night, watching King of the Hill at 1:00 a.m.
>Luanne in a swimsuit or some shit, it was almost a fuckin' decade ago
>get a huge boner
>start jacking off, "LOL HEY SELF, ISN'T THIS SO FUNNY HAHA"
>actually feels hella, keep doing it
>think I'm about to piss, give my dick a "downy girl with her pet bunny" squeeze to hold it in
>I just came

fast forward two months

>sleepover at friend's house
>he's on his parents' laptop
>asks if I've ever watched porn
>only ever watched (in horror, mind you) that Zone Starfire video
>he pulls up porn, instant diamonds
>start jacking off, he laughs his ass off
>ask if I can borrow one of his socks
>bust a huge fucking nut in his sock, his sides have vacated the galaxy
>never mentioned it to each other again
>>
>>683309260

97 wat? no aol\otakumail\dbzmail\ranmamail?

nah you were more likely born in 97
>>
>>683308844
I have this shit at night.
When Im trying to sleep at 2am and suddenly I start thinking of all the cringey fucking crap I did when I was younger
>Why did I say that
>I should've said something else
Makes me want to punch my younger self in the fucking throat.
And before you know it, It's 5am
Anyone else?
>>
>>683304325
social skills develop like anything else, if you stay inside a lot when you're young you will seem like some sperg weirdo when you try to make friends

also playing sports or joining clubs helps with social skills. autism and aspergers are a thing but people can be pretty wrong about self diagnoses

>>683309672
>back when

nice reading comprehension
>>
>>683310678
Yeah mate, I was.
>>
>~8 years old
>on vacation in Wisconsin
>older siblings, cousins, and dad playing basketball at an outdoor court
>too young to play with them
>playing on nearby playground alone
>game takes forever, really have to pee
>keep telling myself we'll leave soon
>hold it to the point I'm about to piss myself
>stand up to run and tell dad
>nope, can't make it that far
>pull pants down on playground and start pissing on the playground equipment
>dad bellows my name
>look over, everyone is staring. most are laughing
>floodgates opened, couldn't stop
>dad comes and grabs me, angrily leads me to nextdoor park building
>opens door, throws me into the restroom that was there the whole time
>don't have to pee anymore
>>
>>683309686
>How old were you when you started?

I started getting near-orgasms about age 10.

At first, it was just a huge build-up of tension that felt awesome, but it would just gradually fade away.

A few months later, I started getting a spasm at the end. My first thought was WTF was that? Then I started getting the spasm every time at the end.

Over the months, the spasm at the end got stronger and stronger. Eventually, that spasm felt so good that it became my favorite part.

Then when I was close to 11, I started getting liquid drops on the tip, but no semen yet. Maybe a few months later the semen started spurting.
>>
>>683310723
yes
smoking weed helps
inb4 edgy stoner
>>
>>683304826
When I first started fapping, it'd be twice a day. Morning wood, and then at night
>>
>>683310487
whats a fingerbox? ._.
>>
>>683308844
Dub dubs.
>>
>I used to "parkour" with my fat friend while listened to rocky soundtrack
>>
>>683304269
>pissed on my grandma's head from the balcony once
Why?
>>
Claimed to be ambidextrous like it was some sort of superpower
>>
>>683308240
I experimented with my foreskin in every way possible as a kid. I have a really long foreskin despite being an amerifag and I was completely obsessed with it.
>>
>Threaten people with ninjutsu at school
>>
>>683310879
Dunno why, but I always used to hold my bladder until the last minute too. Glad I didn't do what you did though because my dad would have spanked my ass.
>>
>>683311111
checked
>>
>>683311111
unnoticed quints
>>
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>>
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>>683300253
>tried to be normal
it's fucking cancerous
>tried to have a girlfriend
it's tiring as fuck. So much responsibility. It's like having an expensive pet
>tried to obey the law and be a constructive person for the society
most autistic thing ever because when you're young bullying gets worse and when you grow up thieves take advantage of you being passive, along with the fact that manipulative people know you won't fight back with violence.
good thing I woke up at the right time to partially fix my mistakes. I wish I did it sooner
>>
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>>683303718
Off topic but I'd bury my dick so far into Liberty
>>
>>683310584
>"downy girl with her pet bunny" squeeze

comedy gold
>>
>>683300253
Calling your mom that isn't as autistic as calling her by her first name.
>>
>friend in 3rd grade told me about jacking off
>tried it once kind of deftly moving my dick back and forth
>"wtfisthisshit.jpeg"
>same friend and I made up curse words one time
>guy turned out to be a total asshole, one day for no reason he told me if I ever came to his house again he would kill me
>our last names started with the same letter so I was always in the same classes as him
>ignored him for the rest of the time I was at school with him
>>
>>683311111
Witnessed
>>
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>>683311730
Let's tag-team it. JT's dead, so it's cool.
>>
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>>683311111
Nice quads
>>
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>>683300253

>>Used to keep a catalog of all my shits. Would rate them on size, viscosity, and smell then rate them on a 1-10 scale.
>>Used to threaten people with "ninjutsu" at school.

What is autistic about that? You're simply a freak.
>>
>>683300253

How the fuck are you still alive, spergger?
>>
>>683305331

same bro. I survived a full month on $20 thanks to ramen and hotdogs
>>
>>683310334
Nah man wasn't that retarded yet.
>>
>>683302826
that's just average stuff little kids play.
>>
>>683311021
pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
>>
>>683311111

Quints.

You are the fat friend.

BTW, I just realized I have NOTHING in common with any of y'all niggers.

I may be socially awkward but I'm not a fucking retard like the rest of /b/
>>
>>683311111
>>683312013

Hey nigtard, those are quints.

Don't they teach Amerifats to count?
>>
>>683309208

>I liked that phase. Nothing to clean up.

>A few months later, when the semen started coming out, I was irritated by the increased mess. I didn't know I had it so good back when I could have a dry orgasm.

fucking true
>>
>>683311901
Is there room for another /b/ro?
>>
>>683307897
You should jump down from cliff like this
>>
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>>
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>>683312509
>>
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>>683312575
>>
>>683312435
2 in the pink, 1 in the stink, come on in.
>>
>fapped in car during family road trip at nighttime under blanket because it was dark and my sister across the backseat was pointed other direction

Hopetheydidntnotoce.jpg
>>
>>683312575
The wisdom
>>
>made a 'swearword dictionary' in primary school, bullies found it, they laughed at me

>there was a kid who was willing to talk to me, called me shadow to embarrass me cuz I followed everywhere
> I was proud of that name and thought it was cool

I'm still a social potato who just cannot decide when to say or not say something and doesn't notice when says creepy things.
>>
>>683312208
answer at least.
>>
>be me 18 y
>live with beautiful, funny girl
>we are not together
>she has a boyfriend
>just living together in another town for work
>apartment is small so we both sleep in the same kingssize bed
>I loved her from the time we got there
>naturally, being close together at work, at home and sleep next to each other, her feelings towards her boyfriend vanes while she starts to like me
>she eventually starts to hit on me hard, starts sleeping naked, wants to cuddle, massage etc
now this would have been fucking great for me if I wasn´t so young and naive but especially so autistic
My respond to her advances?
>"You have a bf, I cant do anything and neither should you"
>"No, we CANT, you have a boyfriend
>"It wouldn´t be right"
And so on, my "high moral/autistic compass fucked me over
Eventually she lost interest, the job got done, we went separate ways.
I lost the love of my life because I wanted right to be right and I still regret it today, 9 years later.
>>
>>683302450
Because she asked why i was beating her
>>
>>683308120
you feel some liquid building up, then it hits you,but the liquid came out too quick
>>
>>683312641
Nice. I'll bring some drugs and booze to repay you for your kindness.
>>
>>683302266
this is a healthy sign, i do this at age 22 increasingly

trips
>>
>>683310360
It probably is, I'm just happy somebody else did this.
>>
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>frrshman in high school
>normal kid, decently attractive
>have to do presentation for history class about world war 2
>whatever.jpg have no problem doing presentations
>during the middle of my speech I notice I'm short of breath
>feel my muscles start to tense up
>instant nausea
>sweating profusely
>legs feel like jello
>entire body shaking like a leaf
>voice shaking even worse
>feel like I'm literally dying
>didn't know it at the time but it was my first panic attack
>try to finish my presentation but I can't
>entire class looking at me in shock and disbelief
>some kids had their phones out and were recording me
>smirks and laughs everywhere
>slink back to my chair
>bury my head in my arms on my desk
>killmenow.jpg

And that was the day my nightmare with social anxiety and various other anxiety related things that were slowly but surely creeping into my life started. From that day on I couldn't do a presentation or even read in front of people again. Complete nervous wreck/social outcast for the rest of high school.
>>
> be horny teen
> understand mechanics of sex
> abstract to dick must enter somewhere
> decide to use plastic bottle
> bottleneck is too narrow, tip won't fit
> scrape opening over tip till come
> repeat for months maybe years before I get the ingenious idea of using my hands
> recently realized I might have caused irreparable damage
>>
>>683300253
>had flame jeans in primary school, slid around on them in school discos
>hid my shit under my parents bed when I was a toddle
>pissed out the cat flap multiple times
>ripped out this page three model to masterbate over, this newspaper had dog shit on it, not on but around.
>>
>>683311111
WITNESSED
>>
>>683313740
I feel sorry for you, bruh
>>
>>683300253
...and you HAVEN'T killed yourself yet?
>>
>>683300253
Browsed 4chan
>>
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>>683300253
> do Taichi shit
> thought I could dissolve clouds and shit
> thought I could control wind, fire, earth, and water shit
> told all my friends at school about it
> mfw
>>
>had violet velvet coat looking like Hugh Heffner for an entire year in high school
>didn´t realize santa who came by our house was probably the neighbour. Fuoriously tried to get everyone to believe it was the actual santa while everyone looked at me as I was a retard. I didn´t give up on "the real santa" thing until I was like 13y
>>
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>>683311901
I don't share bro

Wonder what she does now anyways?
>>
>>683312423
same for girls. at first, things down there are nice and dry. then stuff starts getting wet. inconvenient.
>>
>>683303718
I think I know you
>>
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>>683308800
Triple dubs very nice
>>
>>683300253
don't all britfags do this?
>>
>>683311901
*rag team*
>>
>>683303836
this is perfectly normal. Did this from 5-8th grade constantly.
>>
>>683307567

What color was your fingerbox? Mine was black.
>>
>used to try to walk like arbiter from halo 3
>would scream like a bitch when I fell, so about 5 times a day
>used to say that I would change the world
>this was all when I was 6...
>>
I fapped in a bathtub
With my friends when we were 10
>>
>>683311111
Your friend wouldn't happen to be named Gabriel would it? From Ft. Worth?
>>
>>683308131
Are you fucking okay?
>>
>>683308844
>line you said when you were a child
>when you were a child
>child

i constantly do that, overthinking every potential cringey line. shit is driving me insane
>>
>>683312234
Hello newkid
>>
>>683312108
>yet
Explain
>>
>>683304718
>once in like 3rd grade or something I nearly cried because I couldn't remember how to do long division on the first day at school
i would had cried too if something embarrasing like this had happened to me

generally all your points are not autistic at that age
>>
>>683313782
what happened to your dick anon
>>
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>I used to walk around school with my headphones on and listened to fucking dubstep with the volume turned up way to loud on purpose so other people would hear it when I walked.

I still don't know why, maybe I thought it made me seen cool. I now actually have some hearing damage because of it. Jesus Christ I was so fucking autistic.
>>
>>683303718
everyone knows imogen is the best degrassi girl.
>>
>>683304826
my record is 6 times in a day, yeah it's normal depending on age. i was 14 at that point and just discovered it.
>>
i still threaten ppl with ninjutsu im 19
>>
>>683302719
Is it possible to talk to them?
>>
>>683318895
Who?
>>
>>683309240
hahaha nice
>>
I used to cuddle with half naked babes while I was an oblivious virgin. I remember one of them once said how she would play with her ex's balls to fall asleep and she couldn't sleep without it. All I said was wow that sucks and rolled over and went to bed.
Fucken retard 16 year old me.
>>
>>683309260
are you dutch?
>>
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>>683315171
N-no you don't.
>>
>>683303690
kek
>>
>>683319707
Unfortunately no
>>
>>683306376
Uh, they weren't laughing at you for that. I always pop a boner when I'm grindin at the clubs.
>>
>>683319607
I see your point
but
dude
>he would play with her ex's balls to fall asleep and she couldn't sleep without it
does that sound like daddy issues
>>
>>683318732
I can't even think about shit like this,,
>>
>Be like 8 - 9 or some shit
>Horny as fuck cuz hormones and shit
>ask a friend to practice sex on eachother so we can impress the girls and not have shitty 10 second sex
>give eachother blowjobs
>no cums but so good yet wrong feeling
>wrote him a letter i didn't want to be his friend anymore
>Never spoke about it since
>>
>>683305241

Holy fuck what a bitch.
>>
I used to film myself jerk off on my eye-toy...
>>
>>683320342
>wrote him a letter
how old are you if i may ask?
>>
>>683320306
I dunno. I had slept and cuddled with her probably a dozen times before and I remember she would grind her ass on my dick and if turn away in case I got a boner. In hindsight I think she was just frustrated and wanted me to do something so she gave me an opportunity to say play with mine then.

Shit still haunts me to this.
>>
>>683320408
the playstation 2 game?

i used to play the karate-minigame lashing that little fuckers with my dick
>>
>>683310584
>zone starfire video

oh man, this takes me back. I always felt horrified knowing that vid was animated by a woman. Like holy shit

but zone's pretty kewl. good music.
>>
>>683313145

A finger box all though it may seem to be a relatively simple device, it is not on the contrary of being simple a finger box is more than a box with a hole in it, it is a massively complex device containing more than a thousand separate components per box, usually with nine boxes per set that makes over nine thousand separate components, but the device will work limitedly with just one box.

Finger boxing is also known as fingering and boxing and is a massive fad among teens aged 13-18, the device in a simpler form were first invented by William John Trolington over 100 years ago in Australia.

A Finger box basically simulates a feeling, originally this was accomplished with mechanical devices in the box with some extremely cruel pranksters putting item such as glass and nails in witch would often decapitate the finger, this led to a act of parliament in 1919 by the UK banning the devices, which was quickly followed by the rest of the world.

Although still banned the “underground market” off finger boxes saw a boom in sales during the 1980’s and was redeveloped into its current electrical module in the mid 1990’s buy an unnamed Chinese worker.
The device works on the same principals as electrical prosthetic limbs, an electrical impulse is shot up the nervous system that will make the hand think that it is feeling something; anything can be simulated such as stroking a cat or shaking a hand.

The finger box costs around 50 per box and are usually sold out within minutes they have reportedly have gone for over 200 per box on ebay.
>>
>>683320562
Old enough to suck my friends dick.
>>
>>683320562
now 19. it wasn't really a letter, just a note that i put in his locker
>>
I used to say "fun facts" about everything
>>
>>683319515
imogen moreno you dip. with the sexyass glasses. made out with fiona.
>>
>>683303049
Yeah I did in kindergarten.
>>
>>683306770
>>683307040
This is why I keep coming back.

Fucking made my week.
>>
>>683320012
ali was such a bitch

but i miss her

>tfw season 15 ended and you realize you will never see these people again
>>
>>683309410
My nigger.
>>
i used to masturbate to floortiles. whenever i have sex now i cant cum unless i think about certain tiles. i need help
>>
>>683321630
>made out with fiona.
>mfw
I moved to a foreign country right when the "Boiling Point" arc came out. Hadn't been able to watch Degrassi since.

fml

>>683321741
Just follow her on Twitter, kek
>>
>jerked off in school as a kid so much that I assimilated the feeling of orgasming with the color of the tiles
>would get hard whenever I went into school bathroom
>would pry up different tiles from around school
>remade a 3x3 foot square of tiles in my closet
>I would always jerk off over it in my closet
>this kept going for about 4 years
I still sometimes look at pictures of tiles to get me hard.
>>
>be me
>13
>first time I have this sort of flirting going on with girl. first girlfriend I thought she would be
>she asks if I want to meet up for make out session
>fellforthetrap.jpg
>she calls me desperate and all this shit
>I keep arguing with her and clinging on
>she calls me a paedophile, I argue back "you have to be an adult to be a paedophile" instead of actually explicitly stating I am in fact not a paedophile
>she makes fun of me for another three years of school

still cringe to this day desu
>>
>>683321798
Are you me
>>
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>>683321798
>I see you driving around town with the girl I love
>and I'm like
>FUCK YOU!!!

>ooh ooh ohh
>>
>used to eat my food in alphabetical order
>>
>>683321939
i dont think so, im not really into Roleplaying faggot
>>
>>683300253
I used to think Nickelback was a good band.
>>
>>683300253
>I once bit part of a kid's cheek off for insisting that girls had tits.

>I would have heartfelt conversations with the eagle on the outdoor school flagpole.

>Cried at school once because my lunch got wet.

>Insisted I was part of a NASA kid astronaut program.

>Would tell people I could play musical instruments I could not play, then follow through by playing instruments badly in front of them.

>Wore a fake mustache for weeks once school let out, offering to let people feel it.

>Had an aquarium full of insects. Referred to them as pets. Never fed them, so they all died.

>Daydreamed about meeting cartoon characters who would magically turn me into a Sonic like character named Wowser, who was better than Sonic because he could fly.
>>
>believed a replica of our world existed
>except it had dragons instead of people
>each person was linked to a dragon
>I could find out what their dragon was by staring into their eyes and seeing the right color type
>would stare into my best friend as a kids eyes as a kid as he played along with whatever imagination i would come up with.
>he turned out to be gay when HS ran alone
>realized i'm the reason why

my autistic powers have shaped many lives.
>>
>>683301658
So much edge
>>
>>683307897
Dude my cringy friend did this. Every school had one guy and I guess it was you on yours.
Don't worry though I'm probably borderline autistic.
>>
>>683321859
classic pasta
>>
>>683300253

Oldfag here. Told schoolyard friends i had robot arm like the terminator. Movie was out about this time. They didn't believe me so i stole a knife from home and basically stabbed myself in the wrist to show robot parts.

After hospital visit spent years in therapy because they thought a 6 year old tried to suicide.

Parents still don't know truth today
>>
>young footfag, maybe 13
>three older and very athletic sisters
>would steal dirty socks from them, seal them in sandwich bags, named with dates
>would masturbate furiously while inhaling the stink
>after a while they'd lose their aroma and I'd work them back into the laundry
>they never found out
>am 16
>one older sister passed out drunk on couch
>spend over an hour sniffing and licking her bare feet
>came buckets
>again no one was the wiser

Thankfully this was all a stage that i got over once I found the Internet and could find other ways to indulge. I definitely look back and cringe.
>>
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>>683320295
they're laughing, you just dont see them
>>
>>683310202
23 here, I go 3-6 times a day erry day. What have you done to yourself you poor bastard?!
>>
>>683304269
You sound like you have aspergers
>>
>>683321910
>she makes fun of me for another three years of school
she was way more cringey
>>
>>683303836
>>i had fantasy wanks over pictures of girls from my school
>pls tell me I'm not the only one that did this
What the fuck. do you seriously think that you are the only one to do that. Most people here could fap to a hole in the wall. Every horny kid above the age of 13 has done that.
>>
>>683300253
I play Roblox
>>
>>683316467
>Did this from 5-8th
haha most people don't stop
>>
>>683308844
I do this too. It's feels good to kniw that the cringuer the line the more you have evolved as a person since then.
>>
>>683321842
Yeah they were together for a while until fiona graduated, then jack showed up and well..ugh.
>>
>>683322085
i still do

i don't tell people
>>
>>683318895
>imogen
lol last name poots.
>>
>>683322489
Obviously not enough
>>
>Purposely cum in my own eye to skip school from pink eye.
>>
>called dad Deedoe and mom Meemoe in public
>always wore something that had eagles on it
>had a pocket watch
>use to bang my head against things in public to get people's attention
>I always wore my hood in middle school and constantly was sent to the principles office because I would argue with teachers about it being disrespectful
>when ever I touched some body I would have to shake that part of my body to "get the germs off"
>use to be a faggot emo kid

There is probably more I'm missing. I was a little retard. I'm still pretty stupid but at least I'm not overly autistic now. Just a little.
>>
Jerked off in the bathroom during high school.
>>
>>683322489
At best I can do 2 a day while also keeping the girlfriend happy. If you do it any more than that, there is no way, especially while dating, you're going to be able to properly satisfy your partner while also not becoming sore as fuck. At least in my experience in the last few years, then again I'm 30.
>>
>>683322717
imogen moreno
>>
>>683300253
I used to fap using my PSP because I was affraid that my parents could some how tell I searched for porn on my phone. Unfortunately the most I could do was look at pictures so then when I decided to say fuck it and got a smart phone porn on video was like fucking magic
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