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ITT: We all live in the same house.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 315
Thread images: 88
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ITT: We all live in the same house.
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>>683228782
Who's hungry?
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>>683229217
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>>683228782
My Family name is Lutz !
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>>683229217
B-But Anon, I don't think that's legal.

>>683229122
Hello, brother.
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WHO THE FUCK LEFT THAT IN THE TOILET!
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>>683228782
Stop hanging this shit up in the living room
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WHO THE FUCK KEEPS EATING MY GINGERNUT COOKIES?
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Guys...who's kid is upstairs?
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>>683229697
Excuse me, "YOUR" Gingernut cookies? You can fuck right off, I own those cookies.
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SHITTERS CLOGGED
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Guys! Shut all the blinds! There's a sniper outsid-
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>>683229754
Silly Anon. You've been spending too much time on /x/. It's probably nothing. :^)
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>>683229889
You're right. I'll go into the basement and get us all some snacks. I'll be right back.
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>>683229888
I counter sniped the cocksucker, now who wants to help me clean that shit up?
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>>683229818
YEAH NAH MATE, YOU NEED TO GO ON A FUCKING DIET BRO. THOSE ARE MY COOKIES, NO GODAMN QUESTION. YOU BLOODY BRONY.
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>>683229888
Checkd
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>>683228782
Don't touch any of my shit you queers.
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>>683228782
haha guys!
i was upstairs puttng some boxes away the attic tried to hang me again! hahah
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>>683229754
Who's kid
>Who is kid
Isn't homeschooling fun anon!? Now... sex ed....
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>>683230030
Dude, Gingernut gainz.
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Woah everyone in this house is fapping including me. I'll try not to knock over any of the piss bottles
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>>683229217
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>>683230285
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs

GO BUY SOME!!!
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>>683230285
YOU'RE NOT DENYING IT, THOUGH.
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>>683230353
Goddammit, you better clean that shit up
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Which one of you fags is this?
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>>683228782
Who brought the pig with the glowing eyes?
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Hey guys I'm going to Wal-Mart to get some baby formula, can one of watch my kid?
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>>683230482
I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, FAGGOT.
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>>683230529
That fucking faggot used all our milk reserves for that. Good fucking job.
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>>683230529
The awesome one.
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>>683230777
How am I going to enjoy my cereal now?
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>>683230755
BITCH, I'LL WRECK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH THEY'LL CALL ME MILEY CYRUS. THEY DON'T CALL ME "JONAH FROM TONGA" FOR NOTHING, YOU FARKIN BLOODY MONGREL.
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>>683230508
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Hey guys, im moving in!
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Guys I'm horny
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GODDAMNIT WHO SHAVED THEIR PUBES IN THE FUCKING SINK?!
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>>683231077
Hey horny, I'm dad!
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I'm trying to masturbate stop talking to each other so loudly it turns me off.
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>>683231121
Hey horny dad, I'm cat.
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>>683230876
Try... uhm... water?
Better idea would be to just eat it raw.
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>>683229888
Are you retarded? Why would snipers try to hunt us dow-
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>>683231294
This isn't the fucking dark ages, Anon.
It's milk and cereal or no cereal at all, unless somebody has a better suggestion.
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>>683230947
Who the fuck let schizophrenia anon out of his cage?
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>>683231117
Tub was occupied
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>>683230571
goddamnit James, that's Tom's gf Katherine!!! It's not cool to make fun of blind people you know
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>>683231378
What about cum? We got more than enough in the house.
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>>683230576
Sure fam, just leave him here on my dick. Promise he'll still be here when you get back
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>>683231411
NIGGA HE TOOK MY FARKIN COOKIES. I'M FARKIN FINE, YOU CRAZY SLAV.
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GUYS!! IM MAKING BACON! WANT SUM?
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>>683230005
Yeah nice try! We all know you're the real sniper trying lure every one ou-
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>>683231485
Honestly, while the cum and sexual frustration is more than abundant in the house, I think I'll just do without cereal today.
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>>683231566
IS IT GINGERNUT FLAVOUR?
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>>683231566
ONLY IF YOU'RE CLEANING!
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>>683229877
You need to stop pooping so much.
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>>683231614
HELL YEAH!
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>>683231566
fuck James, did you kill Katherine?!!!
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>>683231566
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>>683231614
I'll nut on your gingers. >;^)
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STOP SHITTING IN THE SHOWER DRAIN!!!!
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Guys, why is there a dead body in the basement?!
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>>683231657
WELL DUH ITS MY FUKN KITCHEN!
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HEY GUYS I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND BUT I JUST TOOK A FAT SHIT IN THE LIVING ROOM
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>>683231503
H-haha alright if you say so friendo.

Guys, put that fucker in front of the window, let the sniper do the job.
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>>683231735
Christ alright, no need to be a dick about it. I'll just use the sink next time
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>>683231704
FUCK OFF WEASLEY, I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU. FARKIN RANGA.
>>683231692
REV UP THE GRILLS, I'LL CLEAR THE WHOLE THING. BACK IN SAMOA, THIS WOULD BE A SNACK.
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>>683231748
I USE IT FOR BACON!
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>>683231748
Tyrone was here earlier.Tinny Tim already called seconds.
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>>683231791
I'LL EAT THE BULLET.
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>>683231566
Don't fag it up this time.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjvlkErrw_M
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>>683231350
you're the retard! If you'd have closed the blinds instead of arguing you'd still be ali-
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>>683231866
Alright, your ass is facing the window then

>>683231846
jesus, you guys want seconds with a fat nigger man oozing cum from his anus?
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>>683231881
DID YOU DOSE THE ORANGE JUICE AGAIN???
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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>>683231988
Why is no one closing the ducking blin-
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No one go in the basement.
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Who the Fuck is using powertools? It's fucking 4AM shut the Fuck up.
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>>683232003
No, I orange juiced the dose.
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MMM... WOULD YOU JUST SMELL THIS FFUCKING DELICIOUS BACON!?
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>>683228782
H-H-ey anons, I'm your new flattie.
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>>683231996
FIGHT ME! I HAVE BLOODY JANDALS CUNT!
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Why is the house always so cold?
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hey guys, don't drink the mil, i fapped in it to prank jim
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>>683232158
WHAT IS IT WITH HOUSES AND PALAGIS?
PISS OFF.
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>>683232158
claimed...
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>>683232227
wut
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>>683232158
ayy dere how u beeeyun
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i'm throwing our black neighbors a halloween themed bbq on their front lawn to welcome them to the community. come dressed as ghosts in white sheets and ready to burn something.
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>>683232215
not enough bodyparts to keep this place warm..
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>>683232215
Spastic Anon keeps turning the heat off to scare the monsters away.
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>>683232093
No one is going into the basement there after you went down there and farted.
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>>683232244
what do you mean anon? what have you claimed?

>>683232314
anon are you okay? you look sick
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>>683232158
hey bb u wan sum fuk?!

>>683232215
Tyrone broke the heater, and as per house rules, we can only fart outside
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>>683232421
He claimed himself.
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>>683232442
He fucking stole it.
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>>683232442
sorry I only fuck niggers
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>>683232414
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I JUST SET THE LIVING ROOM ON FIRE, NO BIG DEAL.
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>>683232495
Nah, he thought the dial was what was generating the heat. That stupid nigger stole the dial and went
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>>683232442
If the heater is broken we should be farting inside the house to keep us all warm.
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>>683232215
Niggers keep stealing the heat.
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HEY GUYS IME GOING TO COSTCO WANT ANYTHING?
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>>683232562
That's what I've been trying to tell these autists, but they "dont want the smell" or some shit like that. As if my fart smells worse than Tyrone.
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Does anyone else hear a marching band playing in the living room?
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>>683232216
No worries bro
>>683230529
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>>683232653
GET SOME NERF GUNS, I'M GONNA SHOOT THE SNIPER.
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>>683232653
MARSHMALLOW PEEPS!
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>>683228782
>pisses all over the bathroom floor and toilet paper.
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>>683232691
Its the fucking TV

>>683232653
I want the cashier, dead

>>683232719
Here you go, ano-
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>>683232653
A hotdog and a FUCK TON of iced tea.
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guise. guise lisn to me. theres someoe fkn nyeah
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>>683232755
>and then turns out to leave the bathroom to find that the doorknob is covered in cum
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Who wants to suck daddy's duck?
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>>683232761
THANKS G.
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>>683232653
50 gallon drum of lube!!! we gonna have fun tonight!!!
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>>683232755
You're cleaning that up with your tongue
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>>683232850
not again - the last time I did it, the duck almost died and we spent a shitton at the vet
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>>683232889
To complement the facialabuse.com marathon.
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>>683232889
That's cum, not lube
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I think I'm just going to hide in my room smoking weed and masturbating.

I don't want to know what the fucks going on out there and I wish I'd never moved into a house with /b/
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WHO'S HANDS ARE THESE? HELP ME! TAKE THEM OFF
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>>683230571
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>>683232994
CAN I HAVE SOME?
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>>683232994
Sure, but as you're masturbating, I'll be sure to call you out for menial tasks every so often.
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>>683232994
Sorry anon, but Tyrone went in with a bunch of gay guys into your room a couple hours ago. I tried going in like 30 mins ago, but there was cum everywhere

>>683233025
Flamingo, take off the hallowen suit
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Who the fuck keeps pissing in the ketchup bottle? STEVE YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT COME DOWN
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>>683232755
>and then turns out to leave to only find out that he is in the fake bathroom and he can't get out.
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I bought one of these for all of us, does anyone want to try them out with me?
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>>683233190
Sorry boss I'm practicing for my drug test
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>>683232889
THEY ONLY HAD CRISCO
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>>683233281
I want relax, but that seems a bit shady, Anon.
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>>683232994
Heyyy broo you surely have some for me, haven't you?
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>>683233025
Stop gluing your hands to your head.
>>
Guys who's that Russian communist with a ak47 playing poker with a Italian gangster?
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>>683233381
What do you suggest then anon?
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>>683233406
THESE ARENT MY HANDS! IM TRYING TO BROWSE 9GAG HERE!
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>>683233513
9GAG? GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE FAG.
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>>683233497
Something less Asian.
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>>683233513
Oh, you are right your hands are up your butt.
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>>683233597
MAKE ME! I BROWSE WHAT I WANT >>:((
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>>683233513
You piece of fucking shit, you're not welcome here.
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>>683233513
Fuck outta here. Right now.
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>>683233103
>>683233399
so fucking typical lol
>>683233107
who would do this? seriously?
>>683233125
>continues to smoke weed and fap

doors locked bros, keep out
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>>683233648
Anime?
>>
MY SANDWICH
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>>683233695
You either leave or you go to that small room with that fag that farts all the time.
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>>683233839
He said LESS
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>>683233800
I'LL BREAK DOWN THE FUCKING DOOR UNLESS YOU GIVE ME SOME.
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>>683233904
Oh shit. OKAY OKAY FINE!

>leaves and stares trough the window
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>>683233695
>>683233904
There's a third option, get that landwhale out of the living room.
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>>683233800
You can't say no to trip-dubs
>>683233399
>>
>>683233839
Yeah, sure. Just make sure the other anons don't walk in. I don't want to be called a weeb faggot.
>>
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>>683233883
No, your ass ate your sandwich.
>>
Why there is shit on the fucking roof?
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>>683234031
Just harpoon it down. We need food anyways.
>>
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>>683234047
I heard this anime has a good plot, anon.
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>>683234033
okay trip dubs, you can come in. but only because you got dubs again, and said dubs were checked by me.

but I'm not going to stop fapping and you have keep >>683233924
from breaking down my door
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>>683234031
Are you sure you want your mom to leave?
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>>683234140
We can't afford a harpoon, can we get anonigger to steal one for us?
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>>683234152
It sure fucking looks like it.
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>>683234099
You have the worst aim.
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>>683234209
I'LL PAY YOU THIS MUCH MONEY.
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>>683234240
HERE YOU GO
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>>683234209
Since I have worked as a security guard in a brothel, that's fine with me.
>>
Fuck someone call /k so we can get rid of this snip-
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>>683234140
You ate the last harpoon we had.
>>
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>>683234446
Oh FUCK I missed.
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>>683234636
YOU KILLED STEVE!
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>>683234636
BLOODY FUCK, MATE. TRY HARDER.
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>>683234636
One less paki
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guys someone took a shit in the living room
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>>683234687
>>683234728
I think someone else should shoot.
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>>683234599
That was a fucking month ago. How come we don't have a new one yet?
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>>683234796
Sorry it was just so tempting
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>>683234796
yea sorry toilet was dirty so...
>>
>>683234760
Hey, I remember you from that Klan meeting yesterday.
>>
>>683234796
Oh, yeah, Pajeet's living with us now.
>>
GUYS WHERE IS THE RENT MONEY THE LANDLORDS COMING
>>
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I give the plot a 10/10.
>>
>>683234399
look, I'd love to trust everybody who gets dubs, but I do what I can to stay out of the hallways at night in this house.
>>683234498
nice to be working with you sir. You may smoke as much weed as you like for protecting me against the horrors of /b/
>>
Hey guys can someone help me with this back stuff? it is happening again.
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>>683234796
That was you. Did you forget?
>>
>>683234031
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>>683234980
don't worry I have us covered
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>>683234830
It was your turn to buy more but you forgot.
>>
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>>683234980
KILL HIM!! QUICK
>>
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>>683235029
Aw, fuck. Not you too.
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>>683235029
THERES THE MINI HARPOONSS FUCK
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>>683230203
you're obviously not this household's teacher anon.
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>>683235179
GIBS ME DAT!!
>>
>>683235179
>the consumption of this house in one week
>>
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>>683235029
>>683235220
I'll help you anons.
>>
Well fuck ya guys I'll go up to my room take some LSD. Weed. Vodka etc. And my door is locked.
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>>683235308
>One day
>>
>>683234796
>>683234902
>>683234980
>>683235029
>shifts furniture against door
>turns up music
>fapping intensifies
>>
>>683235367
>one hour
>>
>>683235330
What if I just knock for an absurdly long amount of time?
>>
>>683235192
But if we kill him where do we hide the body?!
QUICK CLEAN THIS PLACE FOR THE LANDLORD
>>
>>683235396
>One nanosecond
>>
>>683235330
good thing you locked the door.

I wouldn't want any of those spiders to get into the rest of the house.
>>
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>>683235385
Hey anons, I brought a girl over.
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>>683235438
WE EAT THE BODY
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>>683235402
Sorry m8. Listening to electric moon on Max volume I won't hear shit.
>>
>>683235522
CHECK IF ITS A TRAP YOU NEVER KNOW
>>
>>683235522
Set her fucking free, I don't want the fucking cops over here one more time. 10 times a month is enough.
>>
>>683235603
You check
>>
>>683235547
GIVE ME THE REMAINS, I'M HUNGRY.
>>
>>683235438
Don't worry, will pay with bagel
>>
>>683235681
But I spent all day getting her here.
>>
>>683235690
ime not touching it
>muh rape
>>
>>683235731
Oy vey.
>>
>>683235220
No, this is not that stuff, look closer.
>>683235314
Great job faggot, not only did you miss but now the house is on fire.
>>683235385
Get your ass out here and help.
>>
>>683235731
Make sure to add a tapeworm
>>
>>683230353
MY COCAIN
>>
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>>683235813
anons, the fire is spreading where is the extinguisher?
>>
>>683235498
Yeah at least I have some friends in here even though spiders. Can't say the sane about you. Now go away this weed isn't gonna smoke itself
>>
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GUY THERE IS SOME NIGGER TRYING TO BREAK IN OUR HOUSE I NEED HELP
>>
>>683230529
Ah I see someone let /pol in... WHO THE FUCK LET /POL IN?! So help me God if it was you Skeletor I will make our chandelier out of your ribcage.
>>
>>683235773
Get her in the van then.
WAAAAIT
WHERE IS THE FUCKING BLINDFOLD?!
You seriously fucked up now.
>>
>>683235940
We sold it for the crack rock.
>>
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>>683235965
anon, it's cool he's with us
>>
>>683235940
Just piss on the fire.
>>
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>>683235965
its we will lock him inside op's room
>>
>>683235980
Oh shit, she's posted our location on Tumblr.
>>
>>683236061
But the combined piss of 49 anons couldn't extinguish such a flame!
>>
>>683236061
>not using piss jugs and cum
Fag
>>
>>683236123
Man the harpoons.
>>
>>683236191
>Implying
I'LL USE MY BLOOD
>>
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>>683235940
can't you just like... use the hose?
>>
>>683235940
BLAST IT WITH PISS
>>
Does anyone know what is going on outside?
>>
FUCKING REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER NIGGER
>>
>>683236123
It's tumblr, not rape unless they say "yes"
>triggered
>>
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GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING MONEY.
>>
>>683236355
AYE, IT'S THOSE FARKIN FAIRIES AGAIN. PAY THEM YOUR CAT, WE'LL BE FINE.
>>
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>>683235282
am so
>>
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hey guys I brought a pony c: not for sexual btw
>>
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>>
No, you.
>>
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>>683236123
>>683236407
The feminists have an anon surrounded outside!

>>683236288
someone stole it to hang themselves last week anon
>>
>>683236554
fuck off, gary mitchell. fuckin faggot
>>
>>683236554
Fuck off faggot
>>
>>683236554
fuck off gary
>>
>>683236487
does it fart rainbow dust?? HOLY FUCK I WANT TO FUCK THAT THING SO FUCKING HARD rainbow dust hell yea... cunt moglins
>>
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>>683236604
>>
GUYS ITS COMING WE HAVE 26 MIN TO GET OUT
>>
>>683236355
Oh theres just a draenei tending to her dick garden. Its cool, someone from x/ summoned her
>>
>>683236191
Us anons can do a hell of a lot of pissing.
>>683236202
Op took all of mine and I have not had the time make more.
>>
Guys who wanna play spore with me?
>>
>>683236677
Anon died a hero.

They're clawing at the windows.
>>
>>683236057
>>683236440
You said he is one of us you fuckin shithead
>>
>>683236604
Then stop being a retard and do something about the house being on fire.
>>
>>683236604
The accumulative power of clenched butt-holes would apparently equal that of a super massive black hole or something. Some kind of energy equation is due some recognition here. Something about harnessing the power.
>>
>>683236804
We lynched Tyrone an hour ago, that's someone else.
>>
>>683235940
I called the firefighters but they seem to take very long today
>>
>>683236938
You lynched yourself again?
>>
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>>683236855
found some stuff to throw on the fire
>>
>>683236674
Wat
>>
>>683236975
there's someone at the door
>>
>>683237025
hell yeah! pour that bitch right in there
>>
>>683237025
No, that is for you to drink.
>>
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>>683236604
Who let them in?
Now we have a problem
>>
Keep the sink empty, clean your own dishes, and shut the fuck up! Im so high on cocaine, Ill kill all of your faggot pieces of shit with a short barreled shotgun. Id kill everyone in the world.
>>
>>683237146
No, your mom was in the house all day.
>>
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>>683237126
it's getting worse
>>
>>683237186
choke on the barrel
>>
>>683237113
Just show them our basement
>>
>>683237236
oh shit. more of that stuff might help??
>>
>>683237236
You are getting worse.
>>
>>683237186
No faggot, go fucking kill yourself
>>
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WHO'S THE FUCKING NIGGER WHO TOOK MY WAIFU
>>
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>>683237316
I've locked them in there
>>
>>683237236
The sniper has incideary rou- FOOOOOOOOSSHH
>>
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Guys my sister is here for a visit, be nice to her.
>>
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>>683237477
our house is destroyed what do we do
>>
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i found a new house for us guys!
>>
>>683237547
H..Hi... pleasure to meet your acquaintance *tips neckbeard*
what's your name?
>>
>>683237113
Let them in and let them have a seat.
>>
>>683237618
It's perfect.
>>
The only person to mess with this gun is the sucker with the bread to buy it. -OG Nigger in The Real 77 Dawn of the Dead.
>>
>>683237554
I go home.
>>
>>683237729
But anon, we are your home.
>>
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>>683237547
EW Shes a girl you faggot she has no place among us
>>
>>683237764
No, have a other better home, with lolis.
>>
>>683229217
You forgot the heart. It's good eating, and you can eat it raw
>>
>>683237955
That's gross anon.
>>
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>>683228782
Alright, which one of you motherfuckers took my pizza slice?
>>
>>683238067
No, you are gross.
>>
>>683238103
I did faggot. The fuck you gonna do about it?
>>
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>>683238103
i think its somewhere inside that burned house..
>>
>>683238103
THE SAME MOTHERFUCKER WHO ATE MY GINGERNUT COOKIES.
>>
>>683238103
Your ass took it.
>>
>>683238103
Me nigga
>>
>>683229754
Dat boi!
>>
nobody seems to have broken into my room to take my weed and porn yet
maybe I could get used to living with /b/
>>
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>>683238220
i have some of these delicious motherfuckers. want sum?
>>
>>683238414
That's because you died in the fire, anon.
You're in heavenchan
>>
Guys my 15 pizzas will be here in 10 min. Inform me when it arrived so I could pay for it
>>
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>>683238188
>>683238375
I hook ya in da gabber m8 I swear on me mum.
>>
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Look who I found in our basement

What do guys
>>
>>683238440
MY NIGGA, YES.
>>
>>683230353
Goddamit, I was trying to bake cookies!
Get your nasty cooter off the counter, I don't want your AIDS.
>>
>>683238580
Let's invite him in for some tea and a game of Jenga... oh wait.
>>
>>683230576
Oh god dammit!
>>
>>683238468
Oh really? Damn... well at least I'm in heavenchan and not hellchan.
>>
>>683238628
take em bruh!
>>
>>683238718
Quick! wipe it up, we can still salvage it!
>>
I don't know which one of you had all the MLP dolls but the house has been clensed of them through the magic of fire.

you're welcome,
anon
>>
>>683238580
Good job finding a dead guy the basement is full of them.
>>
Hey guys, the police are here...
I think they're trying to keep us in the burning house
>>
Ah I see my pizzas have arrived I'll go back to my room playing spore smoking weed. Eating pizza doing LSD and drinking vodka. Still door is closed.
>>
>>683239041
Good riddance! more room now for my Star Wars prequel toy collection.
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