Don´t get me wrong, I do feel for those fucks, it is a neccessary job but they accepted to die willingly. And given pretty much any tactical knowledge would had suggested for you to clean the place first before retrieving the corpse.
Well, here we go. > be me have an Internet girlfriend > we date for couple months > I didn't think she loved me so I left her > Initially didn't throw me off > After a few months I login to my Kik account > See that she has been messaging me everyday for a month after I left her > I message her saying "it's me, anon" > ask if it's really me, people have been faking it's me > she's so happy and I felt really bad that I left her > she forgives me > we date again for three months, skyping etc > At this point I feel fucking alive, I love her so damn much > bad part is coming > my mother is a neonazi everyone on the Internet is bad type of person > I tell her I won't ever get caught by her > November 21st, 2015 I'm skyping her, we'd do this daily and stay up till 3:00 AM talking to each other lying to each other we that we were tired > dog wakes my mom up > mother takes her outside to go use the bathroom > i didn't know this at the time > she hears my voice > she goes upstairs and since my body is completely tired I don't hear her coming upstairs > she eavesdrops in our convo > bursts in the door and i freak the fuck out, close skype without telling my gf > log out of my kik while she's screaming at me > should of logged out of skype > she's fucking pissed and gives me what felt like a year old lecture etc > you don't know who you're talking to, it could be a rapist, > she reads all of our skype messages and talks to her and her mother > been months since talking to my ex at this point > she comes to a verdict, no talking to her > myheart.exe has stopped working > I have my phone and stuff now, but I just can't talk to her. I want it back to the way it was, but I can't say "I still love you" > /b/ros, I still cry over her daily > I don't know what to do anymore, I'm really fucking depressed > She's the reason I came to this hell-hole, and she would be my ticket out of this hell-hole > I have dreams about her every night > what do I do > i wish I could turn back time
>>683193601 I bet you're one of those whiney emo fags from the suburbs with divorced parents.
>no one knows my pain
Grow up kid, the world can be a mean and nasty place. It will knock you on your knees and keep you there permanently of you let it. Stop being an infant and don't base your life on some girl for happiness.
>>683192104 the guy was just shot infront of him, there was the distinct possibility he could be alive, death will suprise you sometimes people who shouldnt make it do and other who seem fine just go down the drain.
>Watched my whole family die >Only thing left is me an my schizophrenic brother >receive text today >Hey anon I am in baton rouge LA to see see jimmy swaggert >try to reason with him and talk him into coming back home >"Im not coming back" he says >He is living in a homeless shelter down there to be a part of this charlatans tv church. >Been freaking out today realizing he is in 4 states away with no money, no friends, no car, nothing >Not coming back
I have a story /b >be me >19 home from college >During the summer >Dad woke me up around 9 >Get up, start playing windwaker >Dad brings up laudry and tells me to put it away >okay.png >my dad was great >he was 70 years old >continued playing ww >30 minutes later I hear my dad calling out my brothers name >hear this for 2 minutes >go investigate >walk outside >see him on the ground on his back >blood everywhere >see and overturned latter >my dad was cutting a branch >the branch knocked his latter out from under him >he fell from 40 feet onto his back >he looks at me >says he loves me >died on the spot >MFW my dad called my brother for help but not me >MFW I saw my dad die before me
>move to new city to live with dad after divorce >guilt trips me into doing so because of child support and drug addict mom >leave all friends behind >slowly make new friends but never really connect with people who have known each other since grade school >meet donnie, outgoing and fun loving guy when I'm in sophomore year >have a bunch of fun and shenanigans together >his mother feels like the mother I never had >they are poor family but offer me everything they have >donnie introduces me to my first real love named Ali, still to this day dream about her and wish shit was different >years go by and donnie and I spent time fucking around, learning to drive, smoking weed for the first time. Bunch of close brother bonding stuff. >used to drive to mcdonalds because his mom was a manager there for free food. >graduate high school and goto college >Ali and I break up, she leaves me because after she got on meds for her depression I couldn't adjust to the new her. Shit sucks >donnie and and lose touch with each other because of college >randomly text each other but nothing like we used to be >Ali calls me one day out of the blue >heart jumps >"anon we need to talk... donnie killed himself yesterday... I'll call you about the funeral >show up late for the funeral service because of showing up at wrong church > Have to sit in a section completely alone to not disturb the service. Crying like a bitch >avoid everyone leaving church >crying like a bitch at my car and an old lady walks up. >"anon, I can see your feeling so much pain right now. Can I hold you?" >cry into random women's shoulder for minutes >drive to the next service >goto see donnie in the casket >his mother tells me "anon, I'm sorry but donnie shot himself in the face with a shotgun. It's a closed casket.
I just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years. we lived together for the past 2 years.. its really strange walking into the house we lived in. its empty.. and my dog misses her too. I miss her. I dont know how to react. im 28
>>683192104 I realize this is deliberatly inflammatory but i believe that i am still obligated to respond to this. Nobody accepted the job solely to go to some godforsaken hellhole in the middle east and watch their friends get killed and then die. i honestly hope you get cancer and everyone you love dies horribly before you do. I hope you end up week and enfeebled in some white room somewhere because radiation has sapped all the strength from your body and that you wish for death every single day but know that the doctors will prevent your death for a long time to come.
>"I don't care I want to see my friends face!!!! Why wouldn't he talk to me about this...." >"I don't know anon.. but you don't want to see his face. >stare at a coffin for 15 minutes thinking of how much I fucked up and he needed me >go to see donnie buried >since I missed the start of the first service I didn't know one important fact. >donnie was catholic.... >his Facebook messages me two years later and I'm afraid and hopeful. >no my friend is still dead. >it was his sister saying that she found that she was going to delete his facebook. >still to this day drink to donnie at the bar and hope god forgave his sin of suicide. >part of me thinks it can't be true and my last best friend is in hell right now because I didn't make enough of an effort....
>Got a DUI over two years ago and I'm still dealing with the fallout >I was drinking myself to death daily >Mom diagnosed with a stage 4 glioblastoma >Girl I loved rejected me. >Feel like an all-around failure. I hate myself. >Somehow land a respectable job 7 months after arrest >Mom's deteriorating >Start house arrest for crime >Beg PO and her supervisor to let me see my mom in my home state. I moved out-of-state in 2013. >All my mom can talk about is how proud she is of me for getting my white hat
I work in a lab at a chemical plant and you start out with a green hard hat for the first six months of employment, and, if they decide to keep you, you receive a white hard hat after the 6th month.
>Mom is moved to a hospice >She looses the ability to speak and just stares at you >The last thing I tell her is that I promise to be a better person >Attend my mother's funeral wearing an ankle bracelet
>>683199667 >go on Omegle to mess with feminism tags >have a little fun just saying I'm Dan like everyone else >super depressed for the last month because my best friend died and my ex told me to never talk to her again because she met someone new. >thought we could at least be cool after living together for four years >but no, not happening >been drinking every day all day for a month just going through the day until work then after going to the bar >decide to get on Omegle >put in tag as depressed and depression >wade the through piss and shit and g on kill yourself for an hour >someone will finally talk to me >talk to guy named anon for two hours about how to get in touch with my family and to call my insurance to talk to a doctor >he's been in therapy for 18 months >said it helped a lot. >get his Gmail >talked to my dad for the first time in months or maybe a year >he's supportive >send email to Omegle bro thanking him for pushing me >he's emailed me back saying to him updated >got into therapy and it actually helped. >we still email each other to this day.
>>683200105 I don't think anything else has ever crossed my mind. I feel like I've known I will kill myself since I really even knew what the implications were, or much about self-hatred. I have never pondered my own death even as a child. I have always had a feeling it would be my choice.
>on deployment >thousands of miles away from home >laying in my rack, feeling lonesome >been gone for months now >tired of the same old music >open up GTA Vice City game on my iPad >nostalgia.jpg >steal car >park in a quite part of town >listen to the radio fall asleep somewhere in the middle of the Pacific ocean
>>683199327 > and my last best friend is in hell right now because I didn't make enough of an effort....
You did nothing wrong anon, we all had that great friend that we slowly lost contact with because distance, I know I did and it was neither our fault... Sorry for your loss, but don't feel guilty, please.
Thanks guys. I'm still working there after 19 months and things are improving. The anniversary of her death is coming up in July. I have a small urn with her remains and I talk to her when I'm having a rough day. I'm back on my meds and quit drinking so that also helps. Still working on forgiving myself, though...
>>683200433 Everyday I feel alone Everyday I feel schizophrenic Everyday I literally feel autistic (really bad social skills) Everyday I feel retarded Everyday I feel like if I made a made a friend, I will end up hurting them and myself
I want to do something that matters, that matters to someone.
>>683200978 I'm better now. That therapist helped me a lot. It probably saved my life because I was drinking myself to death. He told me it was my own form of suicide out of guilt. Not just because he thought I was suicidal but because of how I was drinking to forget and black out. Sometimes it's easier to forget but it's not the right choice.
>Be me, 10 year old fat kid >Few friends, mostly white neighborhood >new kid in my class >Indian or some shit wears a bun on it's head >name is sundeep >has curly hair >befriend the dude because at first i thought it was a chick >my only other friend starts to get jealous >he's in another class doesn't know what to think about my bun wearing friend >decides to steal "her" from me. great friend >Sundeep doesn't speak English too well >we all hang out at recess, i never mention sundeep is a dude. Didn't think I had to. >one day Sundeep and my friend don't meet me in the usual spot >spring so we have a field day at school (can go off the blacktop and into the park, through the field) >find Sundeep going down on my friend (they were in a tree that was kind of split and at the far end of the field) >wtf.jpeg >don't know what to do, don't know about gay and don't know about sex (5th grade in the 90's) >walk away >hear screaming a few minutes later >they are caught >everyone loses their shit >emergency PTA meeting >parents take me to psychologist to see if i was getting or giving succ to anyone >my friend didn't know it was a guy until after >Sundeeps family move away >my friend stops coming to school >not allowed to hang out with me, his parents blame me. >friends parents get divorced because he wants to be an Indian and they don't know how to handle this shit Haven't seen him in a while, but apparently he's a trap now. mfw I could have just told him it was a dude mfw I made someone gay pic related. it's the type of bun he wore.
Girlfriend broke up with me a little bit over two weeks ago. I was hanging around a lot with her friends and her, so now, I don't have any other friends besides those from work (who are excellent friends, but the schedule is always packed due to the nature of our job). Haven't seen my best mate in a long time. They owe me like 2k from work which I really need to may bills. My cousin, his wife and his baby are moving out soon. Got a lot of shit canceled in the weekend, both social and professional.
>>683202978 we ... slowly stopped loving each other.. we wouldnt even sleep in the same bed anymore. wouldnt want to hang out with each other. it was painful to watch something so awesome die slowly over the past 6 months.
>>683202550 but im sure you can do a mission trip over summer if you don't have much to do mission trips (not necessary religious). I'm thinking house building. Some take just a few days, not as expensive, and not too much socialization is needed. charity work in general seems to fulfill that feel.
>>683202925 i really want to say something to make you feel better, only thing is i don't know what to say. i wish i were there with you, to be able to have a drink with you whenever you felt like it. i have been drinking almost everyday for the past couple of weeks as well... i know this isn't much but, cheer up anon, we're all here for you.
My anxiety is so bad, that the only way I'm not nervous is listening to music. I can't get access to meds or a psychiatrist. So, I've basically been buried in my headphones my entire life. I have only 1 good friend, but I don't think he really likes talking to me at all. I'm basically always alone, my parents don't seem to care about me, all they see is a disappointment. My grandfather cares about me, but he has lost the will to live, and will prob die in the next month. I have a piss-poor job as a blacksmith, I love it but I make virtually no money. I have nightmares every night, they are all just me being tortured to death. The only reason I haven't killed myself is thinking of my fantasy of having a cute Asian wife with black hair with bangs, in a suburban house with a forge in the back.
>>683204067 i know it was for the best. it was time to move on. thats why we both agreed to never get married. for fear of something like this happening. I just cant remember anything i havent done without her. its an empty feeling i cant shake. I havent even gotten sad or upset. it just felt heavy and a little painful. no tears. hard to explain maybe
>>683205228 >I have only 1 good friend, but I don't think he really likes talking to me at all. >think you have two friends >they never propose you to do things together or even talk to you >when you ask them they won't answer
>>683204770 >>683205180 Yeh. Also, fuck people who mess up your drink by saying they're bitch drinks. They're your drink and you need it goddamn now, cuz' you're and adult who can handle his liquor. I think your drinking choice is fine as it is, and I hope you sleep pretty well and have an amazing sunday.
>be me when I was 15 >dads been sick for years now with liver problems & hep c >wastes away my entire youth >always his best friend since other brothers and sister were older and off doing their own things >whole family together one afternoon >everyone agrees to go to buffet for lunch >dads too sick to go or even get up >can tell it really bothers him that he can't go to lunch >everyone walks by his bed and takes turns telling him see you later >he just casually tells everyone bye and says he'll just stay and rest while we go eat >as I walk away last he grabs my arm really hard and looks me square in the eyes and says I love you >was kind of weird but didn't think anything of it >while at the buffet a cop walks I. And asks us if we are the anon family >y-yes >tells us our dad shot himself and he's being air lifted to hospital >dies in chopper on way >just like that... No more dad
>>683205515 Thanks /b/rother it's still fucking alcohol damnit. It'm going to do whatever my mother wants for about 8 hours. Bought her this big ass heart of candy and made a mother's day card at a photo shop. Can't wait to see her face. I hope you have a great day to man.
>Be me 9 years ago >Grew up with great parents, loving and selfless mom, stern but caring father >Dad and I are best friends, played vidya together, he was a professional pitcher and got me into baseball which I played for 6 years. >One day something happens to dad and he can't walk or speak, not responding to anything we say or do >Take him to the hospital, he was severely dehydrated, so we make sure he's always drinking >It happens again, and then about one every 2 months >Happens when I (5th grade at this point) am the only one home. Dad is 6'4 210lbs, I can't do anything for him >Goes back to doctor, think it could be low blood sugar so we make sure he's always eating >Starts happening a lot over the next few months, eventually with him falling off of a ladder while cleaning the cutter and having to go to the hospital
>>683207273 >The next day my parents call me into their room >Turns out it wasn't dehydrating or blood sugar >Turns out my dad was a binge drinking alcoholic who was hiding it from all of us >Dad is checking himself into an inpatient program in Georgia to get help >I go visit him, the place is great and he seems like a new person >Relapses one week after getting out, BAC of .31, back into another inpatient >Gets out, doing way better this time >Gets a week sober, then a month sober and gives me his AA chip for it >Tells me he's gonna make me proud, that I'll have a collection of chips, the next being at 3 months >Relapses a week later, back to binging and then back in another program
>>683191052 that pic is a perfect example of how not to react to casualties while under enemy fire >kill enemy >then tend to the wounded >then recover the dead no sympathy for the guy in the pic but all the feels for the rest of his squadmates they now have to deal with enemy fire down 2 men and then treat 2 casualties
>>683207730 >Mom calls me into the kitchen at some point during the program >Tells me they're getting a divorce to protect us, it's not safe for us to be left with a dangerously drunk man when we're so young (we being me and 2 older siblings) >Dad gets out of rehab, relapses shortly after again >6th grade rolls around, I stop playing baseball and switch to wrestling instead like my brother >Dad in and out of rehabs and in-patients >Hear from him less and less >Almost never see him sober out of rehab >Comes to my brothers wrestling match shithoused shouting at refs and other wrestlers and has to be escorted out >Writes letters while in rehab, I save a ton and still believe that he can beat this >Goes to one rehab and something clicks. He takes it seriously, found a new girlfriend (divorce finalized, I'm in seventh grade at this point)
>>683208246 >Go visit him, have a blast in the snow with him, it's like we have our dad back >Start getting closer, call him, he promises this is the time that's gonna work >Calls a week after rehab saying he's going into a longer rehab at some guy's property who essentially runs a halfway home. He's serious about getting better, won't let us down >2 months in, relapses >We give up hope, stop answering calls and writing letters back >I still save every letter, communicate sparingly, couldn't lose my best friend >but even I start losing hope as he gets fired from 3 jobs due to his drinking habit
>>683208602 >February 10th, end of 7th grade >Dad comes and visits, we go to Frankie's Fun park and do laser tag, go carts, putt putt, play games, have a blast and go to lunch >First real experience with dad in two years and it was so much fun >He goes back to where he was living (TN, I'm in SC). >He calls me often but I am busy with school and sports so I stop answering >Calls me a lot near the beginning of October but he's relapsed a lot lately and I'm bitter so I ignore it >October 23rd >Playing Halo with my buddies over XBL >Mom frantically says to come downstairs >Sits us all down and is crying >Tells me that my dad died >Neighbors hadn't seen him in a few days so they called the police to his place >He died of alcohol poisoning on the 20th and wasn't found until the 23rd
>>683209135 >Don't really remember what happened the next few days outside of locking myself in my room >Didn't really cry, just stared at the wall for 3 days >Volunteer to speak at his funeral >Wrote out a long speech about him and how great he was, essentially a Eulogy looking back at it >Walk up on the stage > "When I asked to speak at the funeral I was told to write it out and only say what I need to, but I decided to let myself free in what I wrote..." >Go to start the next bit, look to my left and right at pictures of him on the stage >Breakdown, start tearing up "My dad was a great man-" >Can't regain composure >"I miss you bestest buddy" (What we used to call each other)
>>683205105 I fully respect servicemen and women solely based on the fact that they serve or are willing to. But that gung ho attitude like that just makes you look like a jackass. If you have pride, be modest and be humble. I hope the other guy(s) get cancer and die too but do not do what you just did. If b8, r8 1/8.
>>683191052 Every solider who sees this photo knows the story the guy forgot to return fire befor running out to his fallen friend with no suppressing fire he was hit as well that why in CLS were taught to shoot befor we run out
>>683209812 >Walk off the stage, sit next to my mom and just wrap my arms around her >My dad's best friend was a singer in a local gospel band, this was his favorite song (actually them, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8MiD3Ams-g first solo is his best friend) >Best friend is singing his solo, gets to "I can almost hear the father as he says son-" and start crying in the performance as well >Fast forward a few weeks/months >Going through the will stuff, Dad left us almost everything >However, all of his stuff was with my grandma in FL >She already sold most of it to people, so we get nothing Forgot to mention, between 7th and 8th grade we moved since we couldn't afford the old house we had on a single mother teaching salary >only thing I have of his is some random pieces of clothing, a compass he gave me, his letters >lose everything except some ties and 1 letter in the move >still miss him every day
>>683201958 Good to hear, I also kicked my booze addiction, but now I'm stuck with benzodiazepines (Valium) because I used it for my tapper. Oh well, one thing at a time. When I think of the best friend I mentioned, now we're living in different countries far away, he is in Germany and me in New-Caledonia >frenchfag here I wonder how he would have reacted if I had asked him for help at that time.
Seing my psychiatre this week, I should ry another approach.
>>683200093 Your post made me call my mother (we're on difficult terms with my parents because my older brother and I had a falling out) and I cried a bit. But I feel a bit better now. Thanks, you're a good guy.
>>683191052 cal/ucla reject currently at ucsd san diego is infested with redneck military trash hate all of them i am glad when one of them is killed or maimed the inbred marines at camp pendleton are the worse i would be happy if isis truck bombed that shit hole
>>683210569 My mom ended up remarrying to a guy who was one of my dad's good friends in high school, they all went to the same high school. He's a great guy and I love him, so that's been great. I ended up getting a compass tattooed on my chest this past winter. I told everyone it is to commemorate a camping trip I went on for my senior trip but it's actually so that I always have his compass with me. Not even my family knows the true meaning. I keep the letter with me wherever i'm living, although I need to get it photocopied or something asap.
It just sucks. We obviously had to cremate him and we took his ashes and made this little concrete bricks and put them around a tea olive (his favorite) tree that we planted in our backyard. The tree died due to an abnormally hot summer and all of the bricks dried and cracked out. I literally have nothing to show of my dad. His whole side of the family blamed my mom for it, for forcing him to work so much and making him drink (not true, my mom always got in fights with him for working way too much. He was a work=status kind of guy), and that whole side of the family has gone to serious shit so I literally have almost no connection to any part of my life before high school.
Since its mother's day, I'll say a quick little thing. I'm so thankful for my mom. She raised 3 kids on a teacher's salary, 2 of whom who were going to college at the time (and now I'm there). She gave up everything, worked unreasonable hours and then would do everything for us when she got home, and gave up her whole life for many years so that we never missed any fucking opportunity that was given to us. Often went hungry and without meals so we didn't have to, and did everything she damn well could to keep a roof over our heads. That woman is incredible and I could never marry a woman who wouldn't be willing to do the same thing for her children if the situation arose. Spoil your moms anons.
>>683211911 Sorry man. I had to put down the dog I crippled at two years old. She lived till 12 years old. I did everything I could to help her all those years. That was two years ago. Three weeks ago I got another dog and I will never play fetch with her without a fence.
>>683211696 congrats man. Here's the one he gave me, I've kept it in my wallet for a while so it's a little worse for the wear. I'll probably drill a hole in it and throw it on a keychain before it gets worse.
>>683211145 I'm at Clemson now so I know a ton of people from the Wando area, I didn't know y'all had a frankie's there
>>683212072 He's just getting old and having issues doing regular cat stuff. He can't get up the stairs on his own and eating hurts him a lot. I really hate seeing him suffer so I think it's his time to go.
>>683191052 How do I end a relationship with someone I'm still head over heels in love with. She doesn't want to end it, but I can't keep hurting like this. She cheats on me, doesn't answer my texts, but when she does, she says she loves me, dosen't want me to leave.
She's been through a lot of trauma in the past 6 months. She was raped at gunpoint before we got together, and her older brother died a few months ago. She keeps telling me she's trying to change, for me, but I keep getting stabbed in the back
>>683211194 I hope isis cuts of your head I guess since we're on the topic of marines I'll contribute to this feels thread. >Father is in usmc infantry >gets deployed to Iraq >he gets involved in the Battle of Fallujah >my dad and his best bud with a bunch of Marines are taking cover. >firefight starts >a sniper took a shot at my dad and the bullet skids off his helmet and grazes his neck >the bullet after hitting my dad's helmet and neck ricochets to his best bud and goes through his face >his best friend that's he's been with for 10 years dies from the ricochet bullet >dad comes back from deployment >has ptsd >we go to his friends funeral >dad has the thousand yard stare >has nightmares about every week >for a long time he blamed himself for not taking the bullet
>>683212630 A lot of members put them on their keychains, I keep mine in my wallet. A last reminder if I ever try to pay for booze. I lost all my friends but one supportive one in my recovery, so booze isn't offered to me.
>>683216160 I've tried to do it so many times, but she's my best friend, and the only person in the past 12 years who's actually wanted to spend time with me when they didn't have to. I think I'm going to try again when I see her tomorrow
>>683216581 She's told me she isn't ready to be completely serious right now, and I stupidly said that was fine, because at the time I said that, I wasn't ready for anything serious either. Now I want more, and I don't think she does. She's never told me beforehand, but always almost immediately after
The other thing I'm worried about, is she's told me on multiple occasions, I'm the only person she feels she can be honest with, says I've been the only one she feels has been there for her. She's been suicidal in the past, and I'm worried if I leave, she'll do something, and I couldn't live with myself if that happened
>>683211194 Marines are good at two things killing people and trolling civvies, Marines save water by fucking your girlfriend in the shower, Marines make you feel safe by fucking your mom at your house, Many marines have shot children, most marines enjoy shooting children and many more enjoy shooting children into your mothers pussy.
> be me,1 year, 3 months ago today >first date with the most amazing human to ever live >we hit it off, life is great >I poke fun a lot, sometimes more harsh than I mean to >blame 4chan >she knows I'm joking, but she doesn't like it anyways >6 months into our relationship, she breaks up with me. >"I couldn't see myself marrying a guy who makes fun of the holocaust" >crushed. >promise to stop, I love you etc >we get back together >life is going smooth >one year anniversary >"anon I'm leaving you. I just can't take it anymore, you're an ass" >Fucking. Crushed. >still see her around, almost once a week >if I even catch a glimpse of her, I can feel my heart dissolve >3 months now, only worse >I only have one person left in my life now >I blame 4chan for me, yet I continue to /b/rowse daily >Fucking hate myself
but if there weren't people like you who relish fighting, there'd be no war. take a few breaths and truly think about it. there are people just like you on the other side spewing the same patriotic shit. but no, we're the good guys, right? we fought for freedom in the world wars. this is entirely different. you don't even know what you're fighting for, oil-guardian.
>>683192878 go to the fucking library and use their computers right? did she never give you any other account names or info? be more fucking resourceful you dumb shit. Youre probably still young enough, become and eagle scout or some shit, lean to use your environment and shit
>be me >narcissistic asshole >hook up with emotionally vulnerable girls because they're easier to control and bend to your will as long as you show fake affection >this one girl becomes extremely emotionally attached to me, to the extent where I almost feel bad for her since I'm faking everything >tell her I have leave to work abroad and I don't do long distance >she asks me to stay two more months because she's dying and I'm the only thing left on this planet that makes her smile >tell her she's making this shit up and leave anyways >she kept texting me all the time during these two months, I never answered, hoping she'd move on >two months later the texting suddenly stopped and I began to feel very uneasy >call her brother to ask if she's ok >he tells me to eat shit and die for not being there for her when she needed me and for skipping her funeral
>>683191052 You know what just hit me? I most likely became the man my mother might not have wanted me to be. I'm sorry mom things didn't work out as they should have. Life tends to troll and fuck everything up into the wind once in a while. I'm doing my best here. I'm sorry. R.I.P
I don't drink. I do come to these threads, get a sense of what other /b/ros are going through and cry with them. Some probably aren't lonely, yet need to get something off their chest that has been eating at them. Probably just bit the hook responding to this.
>>683198808 the 40 feet sounds like bs but the 70 guy climbing is nothing strange. if you think 70+ can't do labor i dare you to say that to may grandfather's face. old guy still does everything in field himself.
I don't want to live in the future. I am pathetic and will never amount to anything. I want to go back to school and fuck around with my friends for a couple more years. I should try to An hero soon, then maybe people will pay attention to me.
My sister left to live in a foreign country about nine months ago.
She attempted suicide three weeks ago. Rough childhood (family shit, divorce, social stigma from living with only a single mom for the longest time, stepfather never quite got her and was ridiculously strict, ended up living in a rural area with absolutely nothing to do) left the both of us with some form of depression. I'm guessing she thought she could run from it, but she met with this total cunt of a "man" who abused her and tried to control her.
She survived, and despite the fact that my mom is now broke she came home four days ago, still severely depressed but at least she's out of that situation.
Mum is distraught, stepdad can't believe a single thing that has happened. I'm trying to stay strong for everyone, but it's wearing on me. I can't sleep.
Hope your families are doing alright. We've gotta believe that the worst is over, for all our sakes.
>>683221119 How do you guys still have the will to cry? I've been coming to these threads for a while now, trying to find something that will actually make me feel something again. And I cant. Every fucking day I just drink or smoke pot or sit in my room by myself quietly and hope I wont wake up in the morning. On the days I do have work I spend the whole time going over in my head the things I could have done differently, so I could be somewhere else in life, with my old friends perhaps? Maybe in collage or uni? I honestly don't think it matters anymore.
I just want to fade away, Felling nothing is worse than wanting to kill myself. At least then I had a goal.
Having the will to cry, depends on the anon. I myself am on the verge of doing so every single day. I get incredibly close at work since my anxiety kicks in, I start thinking about what I could have done differently (same as you) and feel like incredible crap. I couldn't keep friends around for too long since they would always come and go through the different places I spent a decent amount of time. We always ended up going out separate ways and become better after it. I can't pinpoint why you can't feel a whole lot but I do share the sentiment that I just don't want to wake up. Everyone that I know has being doing better in their own life after having gotten rid of me. Was I the problem? Maybe.
>Be me around 2008 finished high school >had no friends to talk to during my free time so I decided to make a Twitter (inb4 normie) >I usually follow some musicians,artists,gaming company's, and some celebrities so some news >later on I find a very unnoticed artist who I was pretty talented for a 17 year old >decided to follow her and make """"friends"""" >it actually worked, became surprised >usually chat or play some Vidya over steam or ps3 >later on I stopped using Twitter since I discovered this place (I actually enjoyed it here) >came back around 2015 >she is married,has two children,and continues to make art >sadly she forgot about me >only friend I will ever have on the Internet
Not really much of a major feel but I usually feel sad whenever I remember this...
>>683198859 I feel you bro. I am 29, have been with gf for almost 8 years, we have been living together for 4 years.
Have broken up with her on Wednesday, she has been staying at her parents house for the past 4 days. Beeing here without her is so strange, feels very wrong.
I wish I could end this with a "don't worry, you'll be fine, just as I was", but I don't know.
At least that russian girl from the library that always had a crush on me wants to have coffee this afternoon. Weird to think the person who was supposed to have my children is now not part of my life any longer.
>as life progresses to me it gets worst, molested as a kid, outcasted from others, was a joke couldn't do the simplest of tasks ,fav family member dies when im young, father and mom drink every weekend just to absolve them of the fact that they have responsibility or kids, try to talk to them, dad basically threatens to kick my ass if i ask again, eventually mom died from drinking too much , the last of my sanity is slipping away and im just sitting here, almost evey bad thing that happened to me i had no control But thats life and its moves on with or without me, i just cant remember who i am or who i was anymore eveything is just blending in together, im sure thats common in /b/ but i just thought i should share my thoughts.
Were any of you here abused or neglected by your parents? I want to share my story with you all, and if it turns out I just need to get over myself, then so be it.
this story will will start out like most peoples in my situation. My parents Divorce when I was 1. The reason I will never be quite sure of, there has been to many lies mixed into the story from both sides that I can only piece together what had hapend. what I do know is my dad stole 35K from his job, and that was what started it all off.
After that my Mom moved out to a house out in the country that my grandma and great grandma lived in. Sasha and Nan. This is where I spent the first 7 years of my life, more or less, and where I have my first memories. Things were ok there, but I, as I asume most kids without one, always wondered why I did not have a father.
Fast forward a few years, around the time before grade 1 started, and we moved away from that house, and my family, So my mom could go live with this asshole named dale on the other side of the country. Dale had a son 4 years older than me who made a habit of beating the shit out of me most of the time, and due to living with him there was not much I could do about the situation.
Funnily enough, moving away from my family let me meet my dad for the first time. He works as a guitar tech, and was doing a show in a near by city. Meeting him at all has impacted my life more than I ever realised it would when I was younger.
My dad was heavily invested in conspiracy theories. I grew up from grade one getting phone calls or emails from him telling me about how everyone I know and love is going to die. How I would have to kill my friends just to live another day. how preparing me for this was for my own good. children at the age of 8 cant process that kind of information properly. But they can learn fear.
been married for years, we dont really fight, everything is relatively good. i take care of her, since shes amazing, but i feel like she really has gotten lazy and just takes advantage of me completely in love with her and willing to dote on her. my anxiety problems have gotten worse over the years, since when i try to show her things im interested in, shes not interested at all. i bottle up my emotions, feelings, thoughts that i know she wont care about, since whats the point in telling her since she wont pay attention. honestly, im unsure what im saying at this point.. i just know that i'm with the woman i should be with but its slowly making me crumble, i guess.
>>683226891 nah, im never leaving her. she really is wonderful. but shes just uninterested in some things im into. she is wonderfully geeky and has gotten behind a lot of shows/movie things i like. but sometimes its just nice to let out my feels here, since i can kinda just dump a bit. i know things arent horrible for me, they could be way worse, but sometimes its rougher than other times.
eventually my mom realizes 3 years later that her meal ticket in this shit hole was not working out, so we moved back across the country to live in the same city as my family again.
By this point I'm a wreck, and it showed. This was about the time that my moms depression started to kick in, I cant remeber this part of my life all to well. But I do remeber all the times I was hit. For interupting her TV show. Asking why the other kids called us poor, and so on. And all the while still getting fed all this bullshit by my dad.
What happened between then and around the time I turned 17 does not really matter, It was all more of the same bullshit over and over again.
but there was one thing that was diffrent, during our usual fights over my failing school grades I was told something that changed my out look on my family. I had a sister. As someone who grew up alone as a only child, I honestly did not belive it at first. But then I started digging into the matter, and It turns out my whole family was hiding it from me. I was told I had no right to know. about my own sibling. She was but up for adoption shortly after she was born.
Ill never even get to know her name.
after that this started to change with everyones story about me, my mom, my dad and my sister. Everyone had there own version of the story to tell, all done up nicely to make them look like the victim of the situation.
fast forward to now. I droped out of high school in my graduating year, and no one even knows. or they preted not to. The only reason I dont tell anyone is becasue it would break my grandmas heart.
And now I keep getting why don't you care about people or yourself talks from both my parents, after years of them doing every thing they can to make me hate familys and people in general.
I only ever wanted to have a wife and kids of my own, a family to love and hold dear. Ill never have a real father, but I wanted to give that to a child of my own. But my ability to trust people is gone.
I just want this feeling to end, but it wont. so I get up every day pretending that life is fine so that the people around me don't have to deal with my shit.. and its killing me.
>>683212944 talk to the vet about the possibility of him having stomatitis. There's been many cases where removing the fangs relieves the pain of eating, then they recover strength once properly nourished.
>>683219791 I fell you a bit on this one. >Decided to embrace my potential to use and abuse people because of my general lack of empathy. >Find out it's surprisingly easy. >Ruined a few lives because of it, got people in committed relationships saying they'd be down to fuck and whatnot. >Ignore them all, shit's too easy and I ain't about that life anyhow, bitches and hos man. >The hardest part isn't manipulating people or getting people to like you, it's finding others who are worth being around. >The truth is that I hope to find someone someday who I can be honest with and still keep around. >I don't know if I could manage to keep any friends, let alone find a long term romantic partner with the depressed mess of a man I am when I'm not acting with some persona. >Is it better to be surrounded by low quality people while living a lie, or to strive for something greater by being honest and risking being alone? >This shit kills me, and people seem to think that I'm the monster here. I don't get it. >Regular people are the vapid ones that only care about certain idiotic standards and presentations of self. >What's the point of having people around if you have to pretend just to keep the around, can they really be said to be people that know you?
>>683223286 >How do you guys still have the will to cry? Right there with you buddy. I haven't been able to cry in a long time. It seems like it's a reminder that you still feel something and are human enough to feel something that moves you emotionally. I'm actually just apathetic and dead inside. I can't cry even if I really want to.
>>683229345 Is it worth trying to keep one's kindness and hope, or is it better to just give in and become just as cruel just to get by? Seems like the kind and genuinely authentic people just get fucked over. It's like the prisoner's dilemma, but nobody seems to ever ally.
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