listen OP, i used to love the movie gremlins. its still ok but not the best movie I've ever seen. anyway. i met this girl who also loves the movie gremlins. she said that it reminds her of her childhood. and for some reason the mogwai really turn her on. i ask how thats possible. the mogwai have absolutely no sexual features. no rounded ass, no raised breasts, no genetalia of any type. could it possibly be the fact that they transform into those slimy green gremlins? what is it? she refused tell me. i spent many nights afterwards watching gremlins and hoping maybe to get turned on a little bit. one night i got half a chub but I've since realized that was most likely just the air conditioner. eventually i couldnt take the mystery anymore. i MUST know what turns her on about the movie gremlins, if for no other reason than i want to be able to fuck a mogwai in the comfort of my own home. why should she be able to get so turned on by gremlins but I'm not even allowed to experience it? i corner her. she backs up. scared. my slow approach has her shaking and asking, "logan, whats gotten into u?" i tell her this is the end of the line. she must tell me why gremlins makes her pussy drip. here and now is the time or she will die by my average sized cock. I can tell that she's finally about to tell me, she's finally about to break. she takes a deep breath and dramatic music begins to play from the lunch room loud speakers across from mrs. shabotski's 5th grade class ( this was the song: http://youtu.be/dPiEVyd3-4k [Open] ) above the dulcid tones she tells me the thing i swore never to repeat. but i will tell it to you hear bros. i will tell it to you from my death bed. i will tell you the sexiest thing I've ever heard. that girl lets the real life gizmo live in her pussy. listen OP, i used to love the movie gremlins. its still ok but not the best movie I've ever seen. anyway. i met this girl who also loves the movie gremlins. she said that it reminds gets wild after midnight
I have a ritual called "terminator". I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy.
>>683160036 I used to work in a motel and when a hot girl would check in with her husband/bf I'd go into the room next door and jerk off while I listened to them fuck like live porn. Always thought about installing a pinhole camera, but figured I'd gone far enough over the line.
>>683161768 About 6 months here too. No one in my family or circle of friends would imagine that I can become a total cockslut behind closed doors. But afterwards I go back to the "straight life" and don't even think twice about it.
The guy two weeks ago was a total musclebro and got really conflicted after he'd cum because he said I sucked cock 1000% better than his girlfriend. He let me fuck him too.
>>683162081 You have misunderstood. The scrotum is able to deal with such high doses. If this was injected anywhere else I would have died. The trick is to find the right place, for example, it is impossible to OD on heroin if you inject it into your ear lobe.
I think about a character from a TV show every single day for at least an hour. I think about scenarios involving him, I think of original stories with him in it, I think about other stories with him in it...All about him. For no reason. I'm pretty sure I have autism or some shit
I made a huge mistake marrying my wife. It's been 8 years now and I'm only dragging it out because I don't want a divorce to effect my son. It has its moments, but we're just not right for each other. I'm in love with someone else and have been for years.
I'm getting pretty fucking close to deciding to kill myself. I've spoken about it to lots of people and their hopeful support re: recovery is just making me more convinced I should do it.
I spent years and years recovering from getting molested and raped by my first boyfriend and three months ago my fiance tied me up and raped me. I don't want to go through recovery again. I want to end my existence.
Apathy. I couldn't give a shit about anything. I have no emotional attachment to family members. I don't enjoy sex. My life is so fucking dull, but I couldn't give a shit. I don't care that I don't care.
I shot a seal in the face with a 44 mag 20kms off the east australian coast while charter fishing. Motherfucker was stealing all the fish we were reeling in for like an hour. Waited around the body hoping for a shark to come eat it but no luck
When I lost my V-card I couldn't finish, we went for about 2 hours. I masturbated frequently before that, and heard that guys l don't last long their first time. Is there something wrong with me? Or is it that the fact that I masturbated too much
I felt up a good friend of mine when we were hammered and she passed out. Still kinda surprised that I don't feel super bad about it. Also I really regret marrying my wife. I love her, but I really want more.
My family was weird as fuck (long story, doubt anyone cares so I won't bother) so I always have to lie to my friends about them. Pretty annoying to deal with all of the lies, but its better than being labeled a freak I suppose.
>>683163997 you jerk off too much. I was in the same boat. Jerked off way too often, lasted over an hour my first time and eventually just quit because my abs hurt lol. Just lay off the porn and you'll be fine. Crazy what a little porn break can do.
I deleted all of my porn. I deleted a collection of pictures and videos that I built over the course of months. Holy grails that I scoured the web for, and at one time considered priceless; videos that I never even watched, but rather downloaded as part of a mass porn gathering streak. I deleted files that /r/ delivered, and countless nudes found right here on /b/. I deleted pictures that camwhores uploaded, doing things that I told them to do.
Folders that I took the time to organize were indiscriminately sent to the recycle bin. Untold days worth of searching, downloading and organizing were undone in a matter of minutes, and on the spur of the moment.
It's not something that I contemplated, it was not premeditated or debated in my head. I didn't do it out of fear of discovery, or out of some spark of morality. I'm not actually sure of exactly why I did it. But I must say, after it was all done, I had a brief moment of satisfaction. I'm not going to stop looking at porn; certainly I am not going to stop gratifying myself. But there was something curiously pleasing in destroying my porn collection. I think it's because with all the chaos and uncertainty in my life, this is one thing I had control over. I took control of it, I destroyed my porn collection and I have no regrets.
>>683164125 You fucking feminist cunt, I just hope you die before spawning your offspring! Everything is rape to you, right? I hope Satan really rapes you. When you land in hell, just land on Satan's dick!
>>683161935 I've been jerking off while watching porn at motels for a long time while leaving my curtains half way open. At least once or twice every time I go some girl looks in my window and talks about what I am doing to their boyfriend. Last week this black chick was hysterical after walking by my room and she came back and was tapping on my window while laughing her ass off. I yanked on it for about 30 seconds while she stared at my cock but got nervous the boyfriend was going to walk back as well so I got up and closed the blind. Many times people get the room next to me and I listen to them fuck their brains out. I see the girl go in as I watch through the side of my open curtain so I see what she looks like then listen to her fuck and moan...man I hate myself.
>>683164541 Yup, that's it. If you're serious, google your brain on porn. Everything you're saying is on there. I went through the same shit. Layed off porn for like 4 months, and i'm good to go with her, and can still look at it moderately now. You just need a break
also, stop gripping your dick so hard when you jerk it
>>683164637 Agreed, no it definitely is that but I also get coked up as that is the only way I have the balls to sit naked in a room where the window is literally 3 feet from the bed and I can basically see tons of people walk by while I sit there beating off and pretending not to be looking out the side of my eye to the window. I leave the lights almost all the way off but the tv light makes the room easily bright enough to see the bed and me laying naked on it. Anyway I spend way to much time and money getting high doing that when I could just get a damn hooker and be done with sex in like 20 minutes and go on to something else that night. But I like doing this too much unfortunately. I get off on girls catching me beating off while watching porn.
There is a plot to take cash away from people and everyone, especially young people, is letting this happen. Everyone think that cashless is cool and comfortable, but it's part of a plan to control everyone.
i started cheating heavily in school to a point where i never had to study for courses. I only did this in my last years because if i failed one more course i was gonna get kicked out of university so i was desperate and i feel like shit for doing it...
>>683164148 If having a broader playing field means taking it in the ass, then call me captain tunnel vision. Anal sex is like broccoli. If you're forced to have it as a child, you never want it as an adult.
>>683165556 You can trust people, there are people out there. I have no idea what you must be going through, just the tiny specks of what knowledge of this life has given me. It's worth it. I know this will mean nothing to you in the future and you may never know me. But please continue, if not, then I hope you find happiness in another life, anon.
>>683164378 Come on Anon I was thirteen when the first guy, who was years older than me, would pin me down and forcibly touch me and narrate how my body is was responding even though I was saying "no". When he took my virginity he did it by showing up at my house at 2AM and saying "let me fuck you or I'll do it anyway, then tell your parents you invited me here to fuck you"
Fiance verbalized "I know you don't want this but I need it" before tying me up, lubing me, fucking me, forcing me to suck him, and putting his cock in my ass even though I don't do anal
I consider myself a straight male and I have a girlfriend but before we got back together I got with a tranny and sucked dick, now I'm a bit confused because I want her but I also want to suck dick. preferably my own. I wish I had a twin so I could basically suck myself off.. wtf is with me. what do?
1. bought lots of weed and paid with counterfeit money. eventually moved in another city
2. wasted lots of money for computer stuff I almost never used; 5-6 years later I had to get rid of all that ancient hardware
3. hacked into school speakers system and radioed fart noises for a while. they fixed it but I had another backdoor available, and a few days later I repeated the fart show again. they eventually disabled the speakers system
>>683166443 Actually tbqh I had been experimenting a little with doing anal because he'd been begging for it for so long. And that's how he rewarded me. God, he wasn't even hard and he didn't cum. It was pure punishment because I'd made him angry
>>683165553 >How old was she and what did you say to her?
She was 27. I didn't have to say much, just showed her some basic compassion. She was dying, she was alone, she had no other family, and her fiance left her after her diagnosis. I spent about a month sneaking her chocolate, and once in a while, a milk shake from the BK down the road. When they gave her a timetable for check out, she told me the last thing she wanted was to feel sexy one last time. I made the offer and she accepted. That's all it took.
I used to go over to this girl's house all the time because her parents were friends. She was 11, I was 16. I molested her and two of her friends. Its been over a decade and I never got in trouble for it.
>>683166669 I want to make you so angry, your eyes would cry tears of pure feminine juices. I want to gather your salty tears with the tip of my swollen member and lubricate you with them as I enter you. I would stare deeply in your eyes while your deformed irises would try to face away from me. I shall feast upon your anguish and wash the shame inside you with my cum.
>>683166797 You mean beat his ass again? I think I'm just gonna let her suck my dick, I don't want to fuck a pussy that my bro cummed in. But I also really want to eat her poon, regardless of cum.. :/ >Blowjob and grabbing is good nuff
>>683167539 Nah im just more of the lets have dirty kinky sex ill call you a slut and tie you up but buy you flowers the next day sort of guy. Im sure there is a person who fits what your looking for out there some where probably a homeless man high on bath salts, but dont lose hope.
>>683160036 My GF is going to study abroad soon. We both agreed to do the long distance relationship thingy. But I'll dump her right before she leaves. Because she is a slut and no way she will be loyal. Already been meeting up with other girls in secret to have handy after the breakup.
>>683160036 When I was a child I would sneak into my mothers pantry every night and steal a can of beans, I did this everyday until I was 18. Whenever she asked I'd tell her that I loved beans. So she'd keep buying them for me. When I moved out for college we were cleaning my room and my mother asked me if I wanted to take my bed with me, and that's when I remembered the beans. I had been storing the beans under my matress in ziplock bags to create more cushoning for when I sleep. I had about 360 big bags of beans filled. I quickly said NO. So my mom told me that she was going to have to move it out anyways and asked if I could help her. I told her to go get the tools and I'd definitely help her.
After she left the room i started going to town eating the beans. The mold and stench in each bag was enough to make me want to vomit. And I did, frequently.
My mother came back and I just threw the bean bags in the garbage before she got back.
She walked in and instantly remarked on the smell before I vommited all over the floor infront of her. I told her I didn't feel well and she rushed me to emerg and I had to get my stomach pumped.
I stole an iPhone 4s from Apple when they fired me. Why is this a big deal? It's a production device with an unlocked bootrom and a static iboot. I can upgrade, downgrade, and jailbreak it as I please without having to worry about signing windows or signature checks. I can do these things untethered as well. I can set boot arguments in the SecureROM itself to change the colors of the bootlogo when it's loaded from the LLB image (see picture).
>>683166972 Show them already. No one cares you were "raped" no one cares you want to die (since we all know it's a cry for attention because you can't find a justifiable reason to go on living on your own) but you are making these claims, seeking the "approval" of men on an anonymous image board, saying you are a woman. We demand tits, to validate that claim, and THEN we MIGHT have an iota of "sympathy" for your situation.
So I used to play mtg back in high school. This would have been 4-5 years ago now, shortly after I turned 18.
Become FB friends with a judge there. Older guy, nonwhite, a little portly - I'm a fat fuck myself so whatever lol. One day he posted a fb status to the effect of shit my life sucks or something similarly emo. Basically a woe is me, or something.
Me being a nice guy (fedora and all) at the time, I IM him and ask him what's wrong. Turns out he's having relationship issues with his boyfriend, and his self esteem is in the shitter. Bf has some sort of skeleton disorder so he doesn't like sex and is in a wheelchair half the time. Dude finds out I'm non-straight (he used bi but i don't like that word, so I just call myself queer. /shrug), so he offers to blow me.
I'm like lol why not, okay, and then I just stay late one Friday night magic session to help the judges clean up and all. Other judges leave, and dude blows me, right in the open of the empty store (1 am cuz fnm goes on forever). It was okay for something that requires no work on my part.
Turns out he was suicidal and was going to off himself if the next person he asked said no. I p much stopped going after that, my own suicidally depressed ass has enough emotional issues. I basically never saw him again, barring occasional visits to the local magic shop (until another one opened even closer to home) but it helped that I also graduated high school and live on campus 9 months of the year.
>>683168607 Unless you go out in a blaze of fucking glory, I doubt it. It'll probably just be written off as another fat feminist who offed herself, because her ideology prevented her from getting some dick. Fuck off, and your no tits showing, sob story selling ass elsewhere.
>>683168637 The best part about #1 on that list is, I'm pretty sure her dad started turning her out to his crack dealer after that. I saw her a few years ago, she didn't recognize me, but damn! She looked rode hard, and hung up WET!
>>683169108 Not that dude, but I just see it as two dudes who want to help each other out without having to put up with bullshit from the wife/gf. For example, my wife hates giving bjs, but I've hooked up with some smooth-bodied twinks who suck the hell out of my dick (and optionally ride it), and never ask for anything in return. No relationship, phone calls, etc. Just cum and go.
I fucked my GF mom 3 different times. She was really cute and we got along great. She had a nice mom body and she wore braces which made her hot as fuck. I wanted to have a relationship with her but we couldn't figure it out. I was 17 and she was 43.
>>683169543 >I'm not fat and I'm not a feminist. These statements, much like you claiming to be a woman in general, are things we can not verify without pics, so again they hold no water here.
As for offing yourself, get yourself a gun, start firing randomly in public, when the cops show up, take a few shots at them, and wait for them to return fire. THAT might be news worthy. But again, nobody cares.
I never had a gf or any type of friend, but pretend to be an interesting extrovert in public with women.
I actually found a date last year and boy that glamour didn't last long. A week didn't even pass and she stopped replying back. I still want a girlfriend that will peg me with a 10" dragon dildo though.
>>683169892 Same, except I'm actually straight. I've just never had the courage to talk to a girl in the 23 years that I've been alive. It doesn't help that I'm a very emotional guy too. One of my friends straight up asked me if I was gay. I suspect my other friends might think I am as well.
>>683169892 That's nothing. I can't get a gf and my uncles are open with their thoughts that they think I am gay. Like how hard is it to get a GF? Now they say it so much family members are starting to think the same and it is pissing me off.
pick up ladyboy prostitute in Thailand for the night she was pretty cool so basically we hang out all night at a hotel drinking talking and fucking she never fucked me but gave her a blowjob and was jerking her constantly when fucked her
was 18 met this girl told me she was 16 fucked her for a year or so found out she was only 12 when her mom yelled at her telling her this is not how a 14yo is suppose to act on her birthday because we were all drinking.
>>683169909 If you don't care why can't you stop responding, begging for pics of me? Teehee :^)
My state has a pretty small population. "Mom offs herself" will absolutely make the local news if I have a suicide note. Even dumb bitches accidentally ODing makes the headlines here
But I'm not gonna leave a note because I'm not going to kill myself for the attention. I'm going to do it because I literally can't see any way forward from here. I'm just talking about it again because talking about it helps it become more concrete. Every time people tell me not to do it I feel closer to the edge.
I have a degenerate criminal mindset/fantasy and I'm unable to change it. I think about violence multiple hours a day. So much it completely distracts me from work. I can't stop thinking about it, while I really want it. It worsens when I'm stressed, but not too much difference. It's completely involuntarily. When I get on a bus or wait for a train, images of me pushing people under the train or stab people on the bus rush through my head. When I was a child, it happened so much that I suddenly snapped completely into reality holding a imaginary gun to people. I studied criminology to know what I have, because I can't get into therapy because there is a rule in my country that if they think you are dangerous to your enviroment, they can take away your freedom.
Had a married woman as a fuck buddy, , we kinda feel in love, , then I got really close to this other girl, , dumped the married woman I loved, to pursue her without feeling too too bad, , she was super flirty, I came over to her place after work one night, tired, and fell the fuck asleep. Was friendzoned
Am I /b/ enough
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