I'm really godamn sick again Lay time I was sick was last summer That was the first time I fell in love with you I wonder what will happen this time As the stars in the sky shine a bit more dimly And the moon looks on wth passive sympathy God damn this would be easier if you stayed
she has depresion, and has tried to kill herself twice, im trying to help, but i cant, im going to lose her, and it will all be my fault. i couldnt fucking help her. i love her more than she could ever know, ive tole her i do but she said she likes me to but just isnt ready. that was a year ago, i love her so much but god damn it what will i do if i fail
>>683159550 Beta; it's a good thing he erases it. People like that are alone because of their clingy cringeyness. Just act normally and don't get obsessed with specific people and you'll be able to have normal relationships.
Am I the only one that doesn't feel alive anymore? Days, weeks, months pass by and I don't even notice it anymore. I have to continually convince myself that I'm still alive because there's nothing to ground myself to reality anymore
Alright /b/rothers i got a story for you it happened recently and i need to get this shit out. >be me 18 year old betafag senior in highschool almost done >never go to dances, geeky band vidya kid >one girl whos in our friend group asks me to go to prom (im OK looking but im kinda annoying and awkward) >shes kinda cool, 7/10 talks too much for my liking, dont like her that way but ill take it. say yes to prom (she was younger but was moving so she wanted to get to prom before she leaves in june) >since im a huge music nerd i got a major honors music job where i got hired and payed to play in the pit of another high school's musical >cancel it for her because of prom and i felt bad because she was moving. >we confirmed we are just going as friends but still got her a flower and was all gentlemanlike and shit. >fast forward to yesterday, prom night. cancelled some other shit too that wouldve been nice, awkward af but still going to be nice to her >get there with her and she immediately runs off and talks to people... mmk whatever. >girl named Thea and another girl named Tati are good friends who are there with their dates >apparently Thea had a blind date (this will matter later) >kinda pissed that my date left me as soon as we got there but we meet up later >she keeps bouncing around showing next to no interest in me or whatever even tho i bought her an expensive ass flower and payed for shit >doesnt even thank me for taking her and she invited herself, her mom thanked me. >also didnt get me a flower which is like prom tradition >now im found 5th wheeling with Thea and Tati and their dates, both are chads but they are cool and include me and try not to fifth wheel me and shit. >btw girl who i took to prom we can call her C >end up chilling by the restroom for over an hour just fifthwheeling whilst Thea gets super flirty with her blind date she met and then they start making out hard will cont.
>>683164039 >tati is the sorta fun kidish type so shes just kinda joking around with helium with the balloons there with her boyfriend >im just in the middle looking sad af, was already depressed bc loner type and parents are assholes >they notice this and ask me where C is >say i dont know where she is and shes not interested so its whatever >they start urging me to find her and how its fucked up that she just used me to go to prom >wellatleastsomepeoplecare.jpg >we find her after a bit and shes chilling with other dudes and turns out she got a date with a dude on monday, while at prom with me >at the last hourish bit Thea and her date who we can call Mike were gone making out hard >later find them near end of prom apparently Mike got to feel all over her ass and tits and shit >thea is a good friend of mine but she does stupid ass shit, but not gonna go into that until later >leave prom, mom awkwardly picks me up and im still just looking sad af in the car silent whilst C keeps talking about shit continuing to friendzone me >get home finally, text thea to talk >tell her pretty much this story and the whole of it. >the day after i got asked by C i got asked to prom by my huge ass crush whos a friend of mine, solid 10/10 tits, 8/10 face and 9/10 ass, loves vidya and is chill af >tfw i turned down my perfect girl who sorta liked me and she now thinks i dont like her for a bitch who ignored me and treated me like shit at prom >tfw 3 other people asked me to prom that day after C asked me and i turned them all down to be nice because she was moving and she asked 1st >tfw the chick i loved was not a prude and i could probably have gotten hella ass with a solid 10/10 but turned her down bc i wanted to be nice to a friend who wasnt even a friend >text Thea and tell her the whole story >turns out her date cheated on her the second he left prom and was getting blown by some hot chick in his car
back in 2014 i used to hurt myself, but i was really not sure why i would do that, iwould just take my victorinox and cut my arm, even my legs once i n a while, i used to write things on my arms but i always had to use long sleeves the couple of days later, and then the marcs just disapear, probably cuz i wasnt doing it so hard, at least not the ones i know people would notice i did it, but from time to time i would cut really deep 1 single line in my arm and put some kind of excuse like, i was using some kind of equipment and i got hurt. but one thay i didi't right in the wrist, right where the veins are, thank god i didn't pushed that hard, a nice drawing in my wrist just couldn't stop bleeding. shit did i panic, my mom was in the kitchen at the time so i went to her and said, ''mom i cutted myself'', my aunt killed herself when she was 16, so i know my mom would fall apart. i showed to her and she said it only was superficial. since that day i havent hurt myself but fuck it was so hard to stop. not everyone can commit suicide
You gotta really love yourself, both as you are and as you will be. The man in your power fantasies is not the man sitting behind your screen right now. The man who's made it, who has that job, who pursued that hobby, who found that girl, is the man who got up and walked toward it. You don't do that by getting a girlfriend, or getting buff. You do that by figuring out who the fuck YOU are. Stop obsessing over anyone that isn't you. Homie, you are your girlfriend and she is out of shape. Pamper her and show her how much she's worth, how much she can be. See her potential and encourage her to chase it so that one day YOU can wake up as a MAN who has become everything you once dreamed you'd be. When you've put enough work into your relationship with yourself, the rest will fall into place.
Or was the girl in your fantasies in love with some neckbeard who never leaves his computer?
>>683164039 >>683164972 Why are people such assholes /b/ i couldve had the crush of my life who is the perfect fucking girl dating me. and i just spent the majority of prom sitting on a bench next to a bathroom fifthwheeling looking like a piece of shit. I have had depression for about 5 years now and i have tried to kill myself 2 times. i havent cut myself in awhile and think im gonna break that streak. all i do now is just be alone, even the loner friends who are cool with me dont respond to me in games. people who ive been friends with for 10 years all abandoning me. what is the point of living /b/
Sorry that was long as hell, im normally good at writing greentexts but i wanted you to get full detail. If anyone has any advice or something ill gladly accept it. but thats about it for my fantastic fucking prom night. i hope you do better /b/
For the past few months my weekends have consisted of watching sad Slice of life anime. I'm ridiculously lonely, the only thing that kept me going is watching fictional character lose their loved ones. I think to myself "yeah you little shit I'm glad she died, if I can't get laid neither should you."
>>683165885 No. You're swimming around in self pity instead of just getting poon in high school like you should be. There is nothing epic or interesting about your post, and screencapping your own shit is right up there with pasting a fucking signature.
In 6 years when you realize how little any of this mattered you'll laugh.
>>683166565 I may be the wrong person to ask. I watch it all good or bad. Mostly because I like to determine the value for myself. If you do decide to watch it start with Clannad before watching the afterstory.
Lately I've been thinking of my life and how insignificant I am to the world and those around me. I'm gross looking, I'm in a failing relationship with a wonderful girl but I don't seem to care, I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since the age of 10, I never finished highschool and hate myself for it, I don't have a job because everytime I look at filling a resume and see the schooling requirement I feel disappointed with myself and just throw it out. I've got acne, a genetic hormonal imbalance. I know these aren't real problems that should concern anyone, but it's been on my mind and I just needed to get it off my chest for my own sake. Thank you and goodbye.
Thanks OP. Needed one of these but no balls to start one. Tomorrow i go through the best & worst life has to offer at the same time. > be me growing up fat > dafuqisagf.jpeg > turn 18 & join marines to escape shitty small town & abusive dad > discover the gym & turn from fatty to ripped motherfucker > think ill always be alone due to social anxiety > begin to consider anhero > find girl who loves my quirks > drink, date, fuck, make her waifu > 8 years together (Sept. would be 9) > waifu is 8 1/2 months pregnant with first child Couple days ago out for dinner... >stand up to go to the restroom & start to walk away > half way there & hear a crash and a few people screaming & yelling for help > turn around to see wife on the floor passed out ..........fast forward 3 days to today..... > be in hospital with dr in his office > get told wife has been very sick for some time now > get told too late to do anything for her but the baby can still be saved > tfw you realize that you have 1 day left with your wife & are about to be a single father > instantly start thinking of how quick you can box up her things & take all pictures out of the house to keep from having extra reminders of her beautiful face & the times you had together that will never happen again > train of thought gets derailed by dr > "mr. Anon, its a girl." Tomorrow i lose my wife. The dr says there is less than a 5% chance of her surviving the birth & even if she does he says we have <month. The woman that saved my life is about to lose hers & theres nothing i can do about it. My daughter will never know her mom, her kindness, her laugh, the feel of her arms around her. she'll only know daddy who has a minimum wage job, drinks more than any human should, & spends nights and certain days of the year locked in a bedroom crying. In light of all this i have decided that from now on i will only browse feels threads cuz you beautiful bastards always have something good to say. Thank you anons. thank you so much.
>>683165885 >shes kinda cool, 7/10 talks too much for my liking, dont like her that way but ill take it >later find them near end of prom apparently Mike got to feel all over her ass and tits and shit >solid 10/10 tits, 8/10 face and 9/10 ass >tfw the chick i loved was not a prude and i could probably have gotten hella ass with a solid 10/10
Anyway I wrote this too many times so blablabla I met the girl of my dreams, she fell in love with me, I'm a introverted fuck and she was a shut in She was a depressed broken tiny thing and im kinda broken but i deal with it alone and bottle it up We both got better over time I wss there when she cried and she was there when i was sick, she lived with me for years so she could avoid her parents divorce and insults directed to her because depression is stupid and she should suck it up and if she killed herself who would care because a stupid useless girl lile that has no value
Its been over a year now I used to enjoy video games and bike rides and now everything feels empty
I got so used to having someone its killing me now, I've never been able to sleep well or relax but now i cant sleep at all
Ive been through so much shit this past year im amazed when i get up in the morning
You could say in the outside im okay, decent in college, okay with friends but at nights like this, more often than not i feel like complete shit
>>683178518 Literal cancer. idgaf thats a feel thread. Post shit without bringing attention to the fact that you are female. There are literally thousands of femanons on /b/. Just post like a normal fucking anon.
Welp my moyher just came in my room to ask me why I wasnt going out and if I was depressed again (dropped psychologist and meds a few months ago). I said "No, I´m okay! Why do you think I´m depressed?" I am such a stupid shit.
>>683179168 Years of numbing and depression I guess. The fact that I have a horrible back injury. It all just blends together I guess. The thing that really fucks with me right now is that nothing helps me to distract myself. Alcohol, Smokes, Music, Vidya. Nothing that usually does the trick affects me right now. And it is horrible.
>>683180228 the problem is because of my back injury I can't sit for 30 minutes without opioid painkillers. I don't have any medication for depression. I stopped going to the psycho doc because of my back injury.
Well, here we go. > be me have an Internet girlfriend > we date for couple months > I didn't think she loved me so I left her > Initially didn't throw me off > After a few months I login to my Kik account > See that she has been messaging me everyday for a month after I left her > I message her saying "it's me, anon" > ask if it's really me, people have been faking it's me > she's so happy and I felt really bad that I left her > she forgives me > we date again for three months, skyping etc > At this point I feel fucking alive, I love her so damn much > bad part is coming > my mother is a neonazi everyone on the Internet is bad type of person > I tell her I won't ever get caught by her > November 21st, 2015 I'm skyping her, we'd do this daily and stay up till 3:00 AM talking to each other lying to each other we that we were tired > dog wakes my mom up > mother takes her outside to go use the bathroom > i didn't know this at the time > she hears my voice > she goes upstairs and since my body is completely tired I don't hear her coming upstairs > she eavesdrops in our convo > bursts in the door and i freak the fuck out, close skype without telling my gf > log out of my kik while she's screaming at me > should of logged out of skype > she's fucking pissed and gives me what felt like a year old lecture etc > you don't know who you're talking to, it could be a rapist, > she reads all of our skype messages and talks to her and her mother > been months since talking to my ex at this point > she comes to a verdict, no talking to her > myheart.exe has stopped working > I have my phone and stuff now, but I just can't talk to her. I want it back to the way it was, but I can't say "I still love you" > /b/ros, I still cry over her daily > I don't know what to do anymore, I'm really fucking depressed > She's the reason I came to this hell-hole, and she would be my ticket out of this hell-hole > I have dreams about her every night > what do I do > i wish I could turn back time
>>683180821 A benign tumor near my spine that had to be removed. 3 years and 7 operations later the pain is worse than ever and the wound doesn't heal properly. I hate that it isn't my fault, if it was I would've had someone to blame but this way there is no one that I can blame for this.
>>683161275 This is actually why I stopped caring on my birthday, might share a story if people are interested. It's not really extreme in terms of depression, but it's part of the reason why I don't put myself close to others.
>>683161275 This shit happens alot to me, make plans and people say "sure I'll be there". When the day arrive most people will just write "Sorry I don't feel like going anymore".
Last time it happened it was a couple of years ago and I asked my mum if she could leave the house for the day because I was going to host a party with booze and shit. People said they'd come and everyone was hyped as fuck.
The day comes and no one shows up and I'm just sitting outside my house 3 am grilling some hotdogs while listening to music. It was already fucking sad af especially since like 30people said they'd be there. Then I looked on snapchat and I could see people just updating their story with pictures of them drinking and etc.
This is the reason why I try to never have expectations of people, but I still get letdown when I know they won't be there.
I hate feels threads yet i keep coming to them they are the only thing that i consistently look for I hate that others suffer like i do I carry pain so others do not have to I hate myself for it, i wish i could let it all go to be happy even for a day would be nice to hear somebody say i know you are hurting let me be there for you but nobody does the smile hides the pain the lie that I am happy keeps me going because maybe one day it will be true
>>683182434 No. I don't blame my problems on others. I don't normally give other the fault for my problems. But this time it's just.. I don't know. It sucks. It's been going on so long and it's no ones fault. I can't blame myself and I can't blame others. Normally I'd blame myself but this time I can't. It happened and sucks but there's nothing anyone can do about it.
>>683180597 So why can't you talk to her? Here is what i say go for it try do whatever you have to. But here is the thing don't ever think someone else will be your path to salvation. If you do something do it for you.
>>683182822 It's hard to explain; I feel like she doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know what do to do anymore my /b/rother. I agree, I don't think anyone else can give me what she gave me; she gave me happiness. I miss her, I love her, she's on my mind literally 24/7, and yet I can't bring myself to talk to her.
>be freshman in high school >be beta as fuck >never had gf >2nd semester rolls in >meet this 9/10 qt 3.14 >she's into anime, avatar, teen titans >we start talking a LOT >we become best friends within days >eventually fall hopelessly in love >decide I'm gonna do it >on the way back from my locker, I hear intense moaning from a room >take a peek >It's her >with a 6 foot tall black guy
Since then I've never talked to a girl, and I also gave up on enjoying high school because I soon became a joke amongst all my friends
>>683181601 >be freshman year of high school 1 week before my birthday >me and others I know well go to our friend Connor's 16th birthday party >played occassional vidya on PS3/Xbox, ate huge amounts of food, just the occassional things that people do during these ceremonies >after I left and went home, I begin to think about some ideas about what I want to do for my birthday (I didn't have very many friends until I actually started high school, so this was something I was very excited for) >get super amped and just talk about various ideas that I had in store for my birthday party such as setting up an outside movie theatre with projector to watch Ghibli movies and whatever else we had >1 day until the big 15 >get phone call from Connor >"Sorry, anon, but me and my parents are going to visit my grandmother, so I won't be able to make it." >shrug it off, I have plenty of other friends that will come >get another call 15 minutes later "Yeah, I'm not going to be able to come because I had to take the day off last weekend from my job to go last time, sorry." >the next few hours were my last few friends telling me that they weren't coming for reasons that were more than obvious loss of interest >begin to sit on bed that night just thinking about my worth towards friends >fall asleep crying in my sleep with no one to console me about my feelings >wake up next morning just looking at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity >don't even leave the room that day to eat the birthday cake my parents prepared just for me
Even afterwards, I never got any wishes the next day at school. After that, I just saw my birthday as any normal day, as I'd be lucky enough to even have days where one person actually calls to tell me happy birthday.
I think I'm just going to be alone for the rest of my life now.
/B/ can someone please explain my emptiness. I have nothing interesing in my life, days and weeks blur together because nothing ever happens and on the rare occasion it does I lay in bed all night and womder why my life is so boring. I have no will to do anything about it and so i'll no doubt just continue to do what I always do. Go from day to day doing the exact same thing and wonder what my life would be like if I wascjust mormal
>>683183325 First Bro what i meant is nobody but yourself can be your path to salvation. Now i know that's hard to swallow but lets move on. Bro you don't want to not live your life cause of fear. Text her you don't need permission to do things to better you. Trust me you need to move froward and maybe itll hurt more but the only way out is through.
>>683178153 The ex-wives in his life completely fucked over this man and drove one of the most talented people in the world to suicide. They had him so financially squeezed he was actually reconsidering Mrs.doubtfire part 2. Women are cunts.
>>683184504 Man, I can't fucking do it. I can't move on from her; it's fucking impossible. I don't want to text her because I don't want her to dislike me. I just want things to go back to the way it was. I can't be the path to my salvation on my own; it has to be with her.
> music related to my fucking life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tPDDwQVSfo
>>683184939 How about you appreciate the things you already have and understand that your mother is only doing this out of love. You need to learn to move on. Being attached to one girl will do nothing but make you a bitter person in the future, and it will shape your character. All relationships and eventually anon.
I'm 19 years old and I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. Nothing makes sense and I feel like I don't belong here. I don't have friends, I don't have a gf. I'm afraid of being rejected. Mostly because of how I look. I gained some weight in the last few months because of Hashimoto's thyroiditis and I feel fucking fat and ugly. I can't sleep, it's 4:37am and I'm typing this while crying like a little bitch. I'm beginning to think that I'll always be too afraid to do anything. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm not even sure if I want to live.
>>683184939 Dude, my opinion she don't care. she probly misses you. But if she is a worth while person she wont dislike you for it. The beauty and abslout horror is life is never the way it was. Sometimes better some times worse. Depression will make you assume the worst.....Why not type what you want to say to her here?
>>683186011 No need to wait for something that only serves as a backbone for your sanity. Empty your mind and reconnect with the entire universe around you, and recognise yourself as one of the many entities that it makes up. Separate yourself from your emotions and truly vaporize any negative feeling you have. That's all I have to say.
>>683187178 Forget her, man! Forget her! She is just 1's and 0's on your screen. I realize that you are young, and I went through a similar phase, but you need to move on. She isn't part of your life anymore. She probably has moved on by now. If anything, if you try to get in contact with her, it probably will do nothing but make her feel bad. Just acknowledge that your relationship has ended and meet someone else.
>>683187296 Hey, I'm sorry that I haven't texted you but I love you. I want to be with you, you might not feel the same for me after what happened, but even now after six months I still love you. I've missed you every single day for that period of time, and even though I haven't talked to you my feelings are growing at an ever increasing rate and I can't stop them.
>>683187807 Its good you got to be honest but id suggest cuting off the back part just to start off.. like this, Hey, I'm sorry that I haven't texted you but I love you. I want to be with you, you might not feel the same for me after what happened, but even now after six months I still love you. I've missed you every single day for that period of time.
>>683165382 I can really relate man. I used to have like 4 really close friends that I spent all of my time with. Slowly they have all stopped hanging out with me and now none of them even respond when I text them. It feels pretty shitty. my only social problem used to be my inability to get a girlfriend, now I couldn't care less about getting a gf i I could just have one good friend. Just someone I could hang out with and talk to. I am only 18 and my social interaction is completely limited to my parents, and people from a chinese frog board.
>left the province I was from 2 years ago with my son and wife >go to new work place because was unemployed due to season ending >start up new job, everyone seemed friendly >couldn't make any friends, everyone seemed to have some tick on their shoulder about me >don't understand last place I worked at everyone loved the shit out of me >get tired of the job after a year (Bad boss, everyone seems to be shitty) >so I just hold a small get together told some of the people I thought I was ok with about it >only 2 people show up, its two guys that I didn't really pal around with much. >get drunk eat good food, my neighbor knocks on the door with two mexican guys asking if we could translate something, (thinks my wife is a mexican) >say we can't invite them in for drinking and food, have an ok time >Uhaul the next day >went back to my old job >Everyone happy I was back
>>683192045 The thing that bothered me the most is how they didn't like me, like 100 people and I didn't make one friend, was a wasted year, also the pay was terrible and they kept fucking with my hours
>>683192473 Sounds like something you'd find in anime. There's always a scene where a character is too hard on themselves and the main character punches them for no reason while yelling and questioning "why do you do that".
Fucking dramatic weeb shit like that pisses me off. Go fuck yourself.
>>683164039 >>683164972 Hey anon, 18 y/o beta here. By the time I'll have written this, prom night is ongoing for my school, and here I am posting on /b/.
At first, I didn't wanna go. I hate crowds, hate high school trends and traditions, and I can't dance. But in the past 2 weeks leading to today, the hype began to build and leave me feeling left out. And the girls. God, all of them looked so stellar in their dresses. I began to realize I may have committed myself to a mistake. By the time I realized I may have actually wanted to go, it was too late to ask anyone, and too late to buy a ticket.
I think come tomorrow, I'll deactivate my Facebook for good. I can't stand seeing all the happy couples.
And the sad thing is, I know 2 lady friends of mine who didn't have a date. And now it's too late for prom with them, and I feel like it'd be tasteless to confess my feelings to anyone after the most romantic night of the year. Pretty fucking pathetic, huh?
Here's to us, man. Stepped on and ignored, but maybe some day, things will be different.
I don't know how much of a feel it is but I'll share anyways. I was on dialysis for a good period of time 3 years ago. Literally noone came to visit me. 6hr sessions 4 times a week and not one person outside of my Mom, Dad, Sister took an interest to see how I was feeling. The worst part was one day one of my "friends" said he'd pick me up and take me out to a meal afyer one of my sessions. He never showed up leaving me at the clinic with no ride screwing me over that day having to wait for my family to pick me up. I go on facebook later only to see pics of the guy partying and getting drunk. I threw out my phone after that and got a new one with a new number and stopped using social media for good.
I don't know how much longer this thread is going to be up for bu I figure I might as well share. All my friends are doing well and succeeding in their lives and I'm not. They've all graduated college, and I haven't. They're all happy and I'm not. Its this way in all my groups of friend. It doesn't mater which group I hang out with I'm always the loser in it. I just want to feel average. Not even good just average. Why can't I have that?
>>683193534 It's not facebook is what sucks. It's real life. Anytime I hang out with people they're talking about how this is going well for them, or that they we're able to get this done or whatever. It's all irl. And normally we talk about bad stuff too. It's just only me now.
>>683193553 Fuck you, nigglet. You're not making sense. I'm not complaining that I'm the only one experiencing this. I don't need to feel sorry for myself. Unlike you worthless cunts I actually get myself out of sadness. I was just saying that this >>683192473 type of shit is only see in anime. Make some friends, weeb. Learn how the world really works.
>>683193329 I'm kind of in a similar position but kind of not. None of my mates went to college and neither did I, but they all have jobs and I've applied for tonnes but no luck. They always have money and want to get lunch and go to bars and shit and I'm just staying at home because of my 100 bucks a week wage working a very small job and when I do join them I have to borrow money off a mate. I feel so bad about it but he understands and knows I'll pay him back.
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