Waifu claiming thread
>PC master race edition
Rules are here !
>claim your 2D waifu
>post pics of your waifu
>insult other waifus
>naps are NOT a good idea
>keep ERP and RP to a minimum
>post fitting, not over-sexualised content
>most important: german ships are the best in the world
Best German Aircraft Carrier Claimed
I actually reckon TenTen is gonna be a TR-8R and take Mercy soon.
Better not be any fake Neos
I personally recommend mixing Cola and Whiskey or Apple Juice and Vodka, if you like mixing drinks that is.
Thanks for baking, beautiful.
I rolled a d6 and the result was a 5, which means milder whiskey ("cheap whisky with calo" was 1 and 2, "smoky whisky" was 3 and 4, and "milder whisky" was 5 and 6).
That feel when a debit card isn't good enough.
Easy to drink beer when you always have 20+ bottles around. I'm currently drinking a gueuze. Overwatch is decent. I'm too bad to truly enjoy it, so I just play a few games on a very casual level.
Alright fellow citizens of /waifu/ I'm here for monthly smug taxes. Please do post. I also except super cute if you don't have smugs
Uh, best husbando claimed hurr hurr ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau.
I'd never betrail Tenryuu. At least i don't lose by 8 seconds.
I'd go with the first one.
Ok, good whisky will become goodnight drink.
mandatory cc claim
nah, that would give me an excuse to sit down and play vidya all day,
i wouldnt move from my seat ever.
i would just play xbox while on my desktop and my laptop all day.
at least i have to get up and unplug the xbox to plug in the desktop, thats some movement
and once im up i usually get the rumblies so i get some food
then i shower while all my shit is loading up
so i kinda think what i have now is better
off by one, sorry shizu
not today shinobro
goodnight all, just wanted to see you before bed
Naw, it's good. I was -not- trying to get dubs.
Ackshual Waifu Question:
Heh, well as long as you're staying healthy, I'm happy for ya.
This makes me sad.
That's good. Remember to support your friendly Mercy. Because she is supporting you.
Yeah that's how a lot of these starts are, its why I absolutely despise gavelkind succession, its is literally the worst piece of shit in the whole game, I can see why its a good thing in real life but in the game it is nothing but terrible. If you don't already know what it is it has all of your titles go to different kids, your first son gets all your first titles, so if you're a king he'll get your kingdom your duchy and your capital county but every single fucking other thing goes to other sons, so if you own multiple kingdoms and are one fucking county away from creating an empire you're fucked and your country gets split up and will inevitably go into a massive civil war as your sons fight over their claims. So you can see why I haven't even tried playing that Spanish start or as a pagan, because as a pagan you literally can't have any other succession type besides gavelkind. Yeah though the tutorial for this game is trash.
Where did I start is a vague question, I've played several games and been pretty much all over the world in this game, do you mean where my very first game took place or where I started with my current Holy Roman Empire game?
Claiming best girlie!
welcome back everyone
Who is the chosen here ?
At you service Hando kun !
What type of beer it is ? how it taste ?
>Overwatch is decent
its like tf2 but better
>for me ofc
>Rosiu , GrafZeppelin
So, you don't like Vodka? I mean Apple Juice works with pretty much everything.
Do you like Single Malt Scotch?
Hmm, Shitty Brat, Esper Midget and of course Tats
Right!? All online stores should accept debit cards!
Eheh~ Thank you!~
That took longer than I expected.
I'm mostly plqaying Mercy (sometimes good, mostly bad), so i know the suffering.
No, i don't have Vodka here. I only have 3 bottles of Whisky and 1 bottle of Jägermeister here. I hate that stuff.
how's ur health?
(dont think i have ever asked this)
No no, I'd rather you act on your own accord. I appreciate the bread none the less, ya cute.
Welcome back, Gold.
Tenten enjoying being a healslut?
Welcome back Booby Brother.
Literally stop with this Graff I'll castrate you.
Alright guv'nark you're going to betray her soon. I bet you already have you slut.
Don't mention it, man.
Pretty sure something's wrong with my heart, going to go to the doctor sooner or later to get it checked out.
It's pretty fascinating to see the cultural differences through these anthems even if they were all part of the Soviet Union
working so far
>1 off 2 times rattle
Ate food and bought stuff.
>is this the original Neo?
The fastest thing on no legs!
Oh god, I had no idea, I just had children and went with it. And the illegitimate children? I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with them. That game asks a lot from the player.
About the start, I mean the current game
>Welcome back qt <3
>enjoying being a healslut?
Do you not?
>git gud at healing
>git picked up by big tank who will protect you
>git free items
>git big dicc
No homo, healers are pivotal to success in large parties. Humble players generally main healers, but almost everyone should have a healer alt.
I exist in a world of off by one. May as well just accept it
Ok I'm finally done clearing the tables and cleaning everything, and I think I figured out what's wrong with my cat
Good evening everyone
Don't mention it, buddy.
Yes. Yes it is. [Blessed Queen of the Dairy].
See the problem is TenTen is fucking shit at Mercy. When I play her 3 people die during the entire game. When TenTen plays he just heals Graf and lets everybody else dies.
Not too shabby.
>I hate that stuff
Yeah, it's not exactly a light drink mixed with Tequila it can easily give you a bad case of liver damage.
I may or may not have had a car accident involving drunk driving and some Vodka in the past.
I gotta get Overwatch.
oh no, i broke it.
is what i would say if we were a romantic possibility (which i dont think we are, are we?)
probably cancer from all the cringe vids people send u
Welcome back Galko
How you doing ?
> i know the suffering.
Yea , we heard you yesterday
>Stop it !
>I'm feeling bad when you are so nice to me
Wanna be sure Neo
At your service like always !
TenTen... Git gud.
It's a style that originated from Belgium, which is a blend of lambics of varying ages. The one I'm drinking has these characteristics:
Really dry but sharp, with an interesting tartness to the flavour. Subtle notes of green apple, some salt, a little grain, and a very light touch of vinegar.
I played a few hours of TF2 but didn't enjoy it. Overwatch has the same problems regarding AoE explosives with the added auto aim of Torbjörns turret. But other than that it's pretty great.
Tatsie, courtesy of Ruri from these threads. I like the nickname so much I still use it for my saved files.
That would make for a better world.
Support for life. Mercy and Lucio are the ones I play the most. I do some Reinhardt as well.
Whenever I play, people think that they are a one-man army, and they all die in different places, causing my ultimate to reach one or two at most.
I'm not going to sleep, I just got here
I was saying I'm finally done with all my work for today and wished you guys a good evening
What's happening tonight queen smug?
Nah, just because I'm an unhealthy faggot who has a long running problem of heart conditions on my mother's side.
I cringe 24/7, my heart's formed a hard shell around it due to this.
>Stop being so adorable and I'll stop
You having problems as well?
>Or maybe it's due to the fucking gallons of coffee/drinks I consume on a weekly basis
Yeah its not one of those games you can just jump into, you have to know what you're doing and what you're long term goals are.
My current game I started off as the King of Bavaria, now I'm the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire which holds Bavaria, Italy, Sicily, Hungary, Bohemia, Portugal, the place north of Portugal whose name I can't remember, as well as a few other duchies and counties on our borders. And I've still got about 400 more years in the game until the mandatory cut off date, I've played for about 300 years to give you a reference.
>Pretty sure something's wrong with my heart
Et tu, Hand?...
It's even worse when you're playing Lúcio and EVERYBODY spreads out or doesn't use your ulti to get something done. Don't even get me started on Symmetra. She's not even a healer.
Truss. It's a fucking nightmare.
>it's been a while
I had some food and did a couple of other things, took longer than I thought it would.
Hey there Graf. I'm alright, how are you?
Whoops! Good playong overwatch amd collecting smug taxes. How are you doing this evening? How's the catto?
Oh baby a triple!
>If trips get, every single waifu of the thread must be given to me this very instant!
Get out of here i am real Neo
Get on my Chosen level
aw man, hope its nothing too serious
and that might be the problem, the shell is slowing down your heart rate, its causing blood clots, it is your protector but also your demise
I've never played Mercy, but I've played healsluts, and letting everyone but one person die is not good.
A world too beautiful to be true, unfortunately
Akiko~ What's wrong with your cat?
Yes, Emi's been scolding me all the time now, saying I should get a healthier lifestyle.
Thanks, Galko. I kinda missed you guys.
A lot, maybe. It's good to be back.
>I leave for 5 minutes and somebody posts lewds.
Mmm. That's what we've been trying to tell him. Heal the entire fucking team. But it's even worse when you're healing and nobody protects you. Or when you're healing somebody and they can't kill the enemy for literally 5 minutes.
You'll get it one day.
I'm sure it's nothing too serious. Should get checked soon, either way I'm fucked.
You're having problems?
Worst part is, I'm in decent shape. Life should just kill me already and get it over with, doing it slowly like this is just rude.
You should though, don't want you ending up where I'm at.
I've lost count on the amount of times my team has had the perfect opportunity to go in, I've popped my ultimate, and they've all just been standing around. Only to go in AFTER my shield has worn off. People are... special.
I don't like her. I have a hard time seeing her usefulness compared to Mercy or Lúcio. Not that she's bad, she's just not for me. At least not yet.
By the way, are you still open? I would like two servings of blueberry ice cream if you are.
>Because Neo's ice cream is the best ice cream
Reality is just a shitty game after all.
>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
>I pray to Shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I’ve been given
>"Shrek is love" I say; “Shrek is life”
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I’m crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it’s really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear “This is my swamp.”
>He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Shrek
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My dad walks in
>Shrek looks him straight in the eyes and says “It’s all ogre now.”
>Shrek leaves through my window
>Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
At least we can have some whiskey to soothe the pain of life (kek)
yea man, is it causing you to take things more slowly?
or maybe faster?
brb, roomate needs help with tv AGAIN
Trust me, I'm already there. I went to the doctor to get myself checked up and apparently, I am "one step away from cardiac arrest".
I have already said this and I don't really want to seem redundant.
I don't want to die at 30.
>I woud like to buy one soon
Now i will try USA Ape beer
Hope it will taste like Yours :)
wanna play some overwatch soon ?
>Im not iven adorable
But look !
How many Neos are here
idk its a real neo here of fake
We only laughing cause neo get mad
You need to join us in ts3 !
>Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
>the place north of Portugal
That's probably Galicia, you can call it "the small Portugal"
And I just jump into games...
You'll get your own super Empire, you are pretty big already, I trust you to Deus Vult Spanish lands
>love you <3
And I have no intention to stop
Yes, I don't like that a friend's life is in danger, that is a big problem.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo
It's good to have you back.
>got any malted french people?
Hilarious and original.
I don't even know what ts3 is.
I missed you too. Are you feeling better?
I can't remember Emi, have we added each other on steam?
Really I've just been acting as if it's not there, not a smart idea.
Fucking hell, man. You really should do something about that, I know it's hard to get up and exercise but you gotta do it for people that care about you. Sign up for a gym membership or something.
>You are though, very adorable
I'll be fine, don't worry.
Good quality spirits are medicine for the soul.
>Raises glass of beer
I can say with certainty that yours won't taste like mine. But I hope you'll enjoy your bottle.
I'm currently watching things and catching up on conversations. Maybe later, depending on if I'm going to watch more anime or not.
I think my kit has something wrong with his teeth or throat. He tried eating some cat kibble and he was wailing the whole time. He wouldn't let us look into his mouth and got really aggressive. He could eat soft meat no problem though. Poor kitty is barely a skeleton with fur, mustve been eating the bare minimum for weeks. We're taking him to the vet on monday
Don't stop believing trips guy
We always have malted frenchies for you love. Extra white flags for you.
I'm not actually that fat to be honest, just a bit overweight, doctor said I should lose about 20 pounds and start exercising again.
Oh, yeah no more smoking as well.
At least if I don't post for a while you'll know what has happened to me.
Hi Ace-kun, how are you?
I'd raise mine too but I got nothing..
>Raises can of Dr.Pepper
Hopefully he'll be alright
I'm gonna go eat dinner now, see you guys later.
>going to go to the doctor sooner or later
Yeah that's the name of it, that's pretty much what it is, its literally just two counties but its got Santiago in it so its important. The muslims occupying Spain are collapsing and even with all the forces they can raise I can still beat them with just my personal armies so it wont be long before I've got all of Iberia, my biggest challenge right now though is the Middle Francians, fucking Karlings refuse to die and they can raise about 2/3 of the forces I can and they're not heretics so I can't declare holy wars on them. Once they fall though and I've got everything between the Atlantic and Poland I'll go up and take over Britannia, hopefully the Byzantines will still be alive by then and I'll be able to help them regain their empire despite their apparent desire to die. If not I'll just take over their place.
Thinking about it now that would actually give me all of the old Roman Empire, other than North Africa and Jerusalem.
i once had a waifu when i used to love the movie gremlins. its still ok but not the best movie I've ever seen. anyway. i met this girl who also loves the movie gremlins. she said that it reminds her of her childhood. and for some reason the mogwai really turn her on. i ask how thats possible. the mogwai have absolutely no sexual features. no rounded ass, no raised breasts, no genetalia of any type. could it possibly be the fact that they transform into those slimy green gremlins? what is it? she refused tell me. i spent many nights afterwards watching gremlins and hoping maybe to get turned on a little bit. one night i got half a chub but I've since realized that was most likely just the air conditioner. eventually i couldnt take the mystery anymore. i MUST know what turns her on about the movie gremlins, if for no other reason than i want to be able to fuck a mogwai in the comfort of my own home. why should she be able to get so turned on by gremlins but I'm not even allowed to experience it? i corner her. she backs up. scared. my slow approach has her shaking and asking, "logan, whats gotten into u?" i tell her this is the end of the line. she must tell me why gremlins makes her pussy drip. here and now is the time or she will die by my average sized cock. I can tell that she's finally about to tell me, she's finally about to break. she takes a deep breath and dramatic music begins to play from the lunch room loud speakers across from mrs. shabotski's 5th grade class ( this was the song: http://youtu.be/dPiEVyd3-4k ) above the dulcid tones she tells me the thing i swore never to repeat. but i will tell it to you hear bros. i will tell it to you from my death bed. i will tell you the sexiest thing I've ever heard. that girl lets the real life gizmo live in her pussy. shit gets wild after midnight.
>At least if I don't post for a while you'll know what has happened to me.
>I was suffering from withdrawl
>I have an addiction
See you later.
Have you tried feeding him some soft to eat?
Please just start exercising, I'd rather you not stop showing up here. Plenty of people who would miss you.
>At least if I don't post for a while you'll know what has happened to me.
I'd rather it not come to that.
No promises, friendo.
Enjoy your food.
>low quality bait
>I don't even know what ts3 is.
Teamspeak3 , voice comunicator
We need more waifus on it !
Nothing ,, just , there is more than one neo
Hello there !
>No im not !
It taste like low quality beer ..
>its bitter , yeak
What are you watching now ? Any recommendation from you ?
Do be so mad , comon
it really isnt, get it sorted asap.
(roomate couldnt change from hdmi1 to hdmi2, he's a bit thick)
no, whats that?
cant see a problem with it
Yes, I am! With a little bit of luck, I'll be fine tomorrow.
>Maybe I'm better because you are here
I'm afraid not
>Sugar Beat from Denmark?
>I know it's hard to get up and exercise but you gotta do it for people that care about you.
Listen to your own advice. Hand, I'd do anything to help you all live longer, I'd personally wake you all up to go exercise, but I can't. I can only be annoying until you listen.
I care about you. I hope everything's alright with your heart, but... You should still exercise
Your Empire seems pretty powerful already, what do you plan to do first, crush the Moors or destroy the competition of the Karlings?
>And yes, you'd have a Holy Roman Empire which looks like an how an actual Holy Roman Empire should
Yeah, I'll see what I can do. No promises though, I procrastinate quite a bit.
>Kek, he's not good with technology is he?
Pfft, oh yes you are.
Not much, just watching the newest episode of Ace Attorney (the anime)
Hi Syndra, did your day go well?
Pretty good, you?
That is glorious, just amazing.
>Hi Ace-kun, how are you?
Pretty good, thanks for asking.
But it just got overruled..
Thanks Galko and Shinoa.
It wasn't really a serious comment, I'm probably-hopefully not gonna die.
Well, at least it's not on my To-Do-List.
, huh? Gee, that shouldn't happen, It doesn't have anything to do with the heroin we put in the ice cream or anything. Because we don't.
be an hero.
Can I take this lewd posting Neo to court?
i might check it later
but im lazy~
I appreciate your concern, friendo. I'm sure I'll be fine, I don't think my luck's given out on me yet.
I exercise every so often, I'm sure it's fine.
Serious or not, I'd be more comfortable knowing you exercised and are keeping your heart healthy.
>That is glorious, just amazing.
Glad you liked it~
Do you recommend Ace Attorney (the anime) knowing that I haven't played any of the games?
He should live until Monday, then we'll see. I only wish they hadn't let it come to this. The cats eat hard cat bites from a dish. Poor cat mustve been eating the bare minimum in hellish pain this whole time out of desperation
Of course I gave him some soft cat food. I only come to my dad's place once every few weeks. Feels like the've been neglecting that kit this whole time and I'm the only one to give a fuck about him
I'm tired, but at least I was very productive today
we're similer in that sense son/bro/KJUYHGTRDFGBHJUYGTRDFVG
>its not his strong suit
>he's better at physics and art
Best soda. You've got good taste.
Bitter can be good. As long as the quality of the beer itself is good.
>What are you watching now
I am currently watching 16 different shows this season. A few good, a few decent, but a lot of them are just mediocre or borderline bad.
>Any recommendation from you
Give me a genre or two and I'll give you a few recommendations.
It was alright, nothing special.
What about you?
I will, I will, but I'm really feel comfortable talking about that right now.
>Galko's mere presence gets her trips
>I don't think my luck's given out on me yet.
>I'm sure it's fine
I hope so...
I've got to go for a little bit, I'll be back soon.
I hope you do!
>you're too nice
>it's a prank bro
I hope not.
>maybe because it's so good
Nice try and nice trips but you're a little late.
Heh, procrastination is every man's pass time. Too easy of a habit to adopt.
>Still sounds like a smart cookie
Glad to hear it, man. Really I am. What you up to right now?
Damn.. One of my dogs did the same as he got older.. We had to put him out because we didn't have the money to cure him. And if we did cure him of his disease he would've got less than a year to live
I hope your kitty doesn't end up like him
Thanks Tatsie~ I should give you my opinion of the whiskey by next week