Navigation: /b/ - Random [Archive] | Search | Blowjobs | Archived.Moe | 4Archive.org [Home]
4chan archive logo
I put my sister's bullet vibrator in...
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 318
Thread images: 61
File: 41plbSXI0cL.jpg (19 KB, 500x500) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
41plbSXI0cL.jpg
19 KB, 500x500
I put my sister's bullet vibrator in my ass and now I can't get it out.

I thought I would be able take a shit to remove it, but it won't come out. It went too far in. I can't reach it with my fingers. It has been inside me for over an hour and a half and I've already cum 5 time. I'm starting to get really sore. It hurts.

What do?
>>
>>683079820
Go to the doctor, fucking retard, anal play rule #1 is make sure it cant get stuck
>>
kys
>>
>>683079820
You have to go to the hospital man.
>>
>>683080017
>>683080115

I don't want to go to the hospital. It would be way too embarrassing. My whole family would know. I'd never hear the end of it. There has to be some other way to get this thing out of me.
>>
>>683079820
its sideways,
try using another dildo to knock it loose
>>
>>683079820
don't forget to take pics of the xrays so you can share them with us when you get home.
>>
>>683080337
Not without causing more damage, Sorry to tell you but the hospital is your only option
>>
>>683080337
Hospital or keep it in faggot
>>
>>683079820
Ask your sister to help you remove it. She is probabley looking for it. You've been bad for hiding things that don't belong to you.

Make sure to post results.
>>
>>683079820
try squeezing like you take a shit
>>
Take a laxative
>>
Use a butt plug to loosen your asshole, then use another didlo to knock it out
>>
Top kek
>>
jump up and down and wiggle your ass around while using a second dildo
try to wiggle it out
>>
>>683080337
I guess you could just leave it in there until it creates a blockage and puts your life in danger. There are always options, OP. BTW if you're over 18 the hospital cannot legally share your information with your family. You could make something up.
>>
File: funny.gif (4 MB, 320x240) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
funny.gif
4 MB, 320x240
>>683080380

God I love this place.
>>
>>683080508
>I thought I would be able take a shit to remove it
read!
>>
>>683079820
>>683080510
Do not take a laxative! It'll stay stuck and you'll feel shit building up and it'll get more dangerous due to blockade
>>
OP, you could legitimately die. Just go to the hospital. They've seen this a million times, nothing new for them. At least you have an actual sex toy in you and not a cucumber or a flashlight.
>>
>>683080642
.....continue idiot - it won´t work the first time
>>
Laxative brah. Or just wait for peristaltic action to push it out again. How far up is it? It has to be further than your colon if you cant get ut out.
>>
File: netwon.gif (669 KB, 530x332) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
netwon.gif
669 KB, 530x332
>>683080523
This, knock it out the other end
>>
Squat in the shower. After squatting awhile it will probably come out.
>>
>>683079820
Live your entire life with it.
>>
Im dying lol>>683079820
>>
File: Small Guy.jpg (82 KB, 495x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Small Guy.jpg
82 KB, 495x720
>>683079820
>Slice your stomach open
>Get it out
>Hide it
>Go outside
>Tell parents you got nabbed by a nigger
>Dissolve vibrator in hydrofluoric acid
>Sniff the fumes
>>
Go to hospital idiot. They deal with that stuff everyday and I am sure they will understand that telling your family is something you would wish to avoid. Health beats embarrassment. anyway.
>>
My sides hahahahahahaha I can't breath "whats that buzzing noise ?", "Nothing" ( oh god why does my sisters toy feel so good)
>>
>>683080757
its south parks food up the ass logic at work
he'l shit it out his mouth in about 8 hours
>>
>>683080380
This
>>
>>683080337
that's what you get for being a fucking degenerate
>>
File: grill tongs.jpg (46 KB, 640x426) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
grill tongs.jpg
46 KB, 640x426
Does your dad have a grill?
>>
>>683080892
>Sniff the fumes
Kek
>>
File: 287px-.png (103 KB, 287x200) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
287px-.png
103 KB, 287x200
>>683080871
yeah this will work
basicly squat down butt cheeks on your heels and lightly try to poo until it comes out, evey 15-20 mins if it hasnt come out stop trying to poo, stand up for a minute or two and then squat again
repeat
>>
>>683080115
Pics or it didn't happen
>>
>>683080977
OP try this! also let us know how your sisters pussy tastes
>>
File: Prince.png (1 MB, 765x779) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Prince.png
1 MB, 765x779
>>683081026
This
>>
OP was driving to the hospital but comedically cums a 6th time and crashed into a sex shop.
>>
>>683081055
I don't think I need too see that,no...none of us need too see this bro..
>>
>>683081107
the only thing he'l be tasteing is his own asshole/digestive fluids
>>
>>683081007
I'm not gay.
>>
>>683081231
Hahahahahaha
>>
>>683080510
This and shit with the force of a thousand suns
>>
>>683081225
where u think u are?
>>
>>683081265
While all gays are degenerates, not all degenerates are gay.
>>
>>683081203
This!!
>>
File: Dolphin.gif (164 KB, 425x417) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Dolphin.gif
164 KB, 425x417
>>683080585
Actually doctor patient confidentiality, doesn't matter what age

Also OP go see a fucking doctor, they see
this shit all the time, don't even worry about it
they have seen worse

Just go to the ER or something
>>
>>683079820
>put hamster up your ass
>???
>have hamster come out your mouth with dildo
>profit
>>
>>683079820
Go the the hospital and tell them you slipped and That your ass has been in pain since, they'll believe your story.
>>
>>683081225
Old 4chan rule. Pics or its bait.
>>
Put a chlorine tablet in your ass and add some rubbing alcohol. Wait a few seconds with your ass closed and it should help.
>>
>>683081107
>let us know how your shit tastes.
>>
>>683080337
Nigga your sister will know when she look for her vibrator.
>>
>>683079820
OP, maybe this will help you. It's from reddit, but I assume that you're desperate:

https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/2l5zcq/my_ass_swallowed_my_anal_vibratorand_how_i/
>>
>>683079820
Get a short hose, stick one end up your ass and the other end in your mouth and suck that fucker out. Instead of siphoning gas you're siphoning ass. Good luck!
>>
>>683081404
Stop right there!
How did you find out about this comment?
Did you find it while browsing Reddit?
>>
>>683081359
beautiful, send lemmiewinks to work
>>
>>683080585
I'm on my parent's insurance. They would have to pay the deductible.
>>
>>683081026
omg this. lol
>>
>>683081265
No, I meant you're a degenerate for putting a dildo in your ass
>>
>>683081404
>seeking advice from reddit
That's pretty desperate
>>
>>683081326
4chan, I'm not a fag like you bro, just saying
>>
Put air in your ass, it will unstuck the thing
>>
and kids thats why you shouldn't stick things up your arse
>>
>>683081265
yes, you really are.

I can understand you not having come to terms with it yet, but you're definitely gay.
>>
>>683081386
Fucking chlorine tablet in ass. my sides
>>
>>683081532
i think a dildo is probz the least degenerate thing to put in your ass
>>
>>683081577
Dubs confirms sound poo hole advice
>>
>>683079820
Buy a new vibrator for your sister.
>>
File: FviuO.jpg (189 KB, 717x880) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
FviuO.jpg
189 KB, 717x880
>>683081404
>reddit
>>
>>683079820

>>683049393
>>
Can you just imagine the op, sitting there on his computer patiently waiting for answers while a gentle buzzing sound is coming out if his ass.
>>
>>683081471
>siphoning ass
kek!
>>
Get into the shower. Put baking soda in your ass. Then put vinegar in your ass.

Try to hold it in for as long as you can.
>>
>>683081622
No. A finger is. When mechanical devices are introduced, you're stepping it up a notch on the degenerate scale
>>
>>683081547
im not jacking off to it, it would add a potency to the story and thread if we had evidence this really happened
>>
>>683079820
you have to swallow another dildo, it will push the assdildo out then. + drink coffee
also sit on the toilet like you would take a shit in the woods
>>
>>683081699
It hurts. It's not fun any more.
>>
>>683081682
And 4chan isn't cancerous?
>>
File: eboshi_lolz.gif (444 KB, 500x252) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
eboshi_lolz.gif
444 KB, 500x252
>>683081699
ohmyfuck
>>
>>683079820
Sounds like a regular Saturday morning for OP, you should just get your boyfriend to take it out.
>>
>>683081735
what about handle of a screwdriver with condom on it for slick surface and safety?
>>
>>683081807
Seriously, just go to the hospital.
>>
>>683081699
Too bad nobody see's that this is bait.
>>
File: Untitled.jpg (559 KB, 2560x1440) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Untitled.jpg
559 KB, 2560x1440
>>683081484
Google.
>>
File: waifu.png (240 KB, 340x311) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
waifu.png
240 KB, 340x311
Why is Op always a fagot?
>>
>>683081896
who cares its fuuny
>>
>>683081054
ye press it out while breathing like a preggo woman (u have to press AND breath at the same time)
>>
You should Google how to fist yourself and see if you can grab it
>>
File: usethesherkOP.jpg (201 KB, 1221x988) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
usethesherkOP.jpg
201 KB, 1221x988
>>683079820
Use the sherk OP
>>
There are 42 posters and 90 replies on this thread.


Half of this thread is just same fags
>>
is this the same fuck tart who "put a sausage" up his ass? kys
>>
>>683079820
Drink bleach, it will clean the vibrator out
>>
File: ha.png (825 KB, 866x847) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
ha.png
825 KB, 866x847
>>683081908
>22 Objects People Have Actually Lost In Their Ass - Buzzfeed
>>
>>683081962
Kek
>>
>>683079820
dude stop being a pussy and shit it out. who cares if you make a mess youll clean it later. dumbass. just relax your asshole and push.
>>
>>683079820
please God let this be real
please God let this be real
please God let this be real...
>>
>>683081962
kek
>>
>>683081499
You're fucked then, you have to go or they might have to perform an emergency anal scooping
>>
>>683081546
I'm sure there are few more desperate people in the world than those who lost their sister's dildo in their ass.
>>
>>683079820
usa a stick with bubblegum attached on one end
>>
>>683082056
>>683081962
im so lucky i didnt lose a marker lid up my ass
came out right away
>>
File: $_35.jpg (21 KB, 300x224) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
$_35.jpg
21 KB, 300x224
If your going to use a claw toy I recommend the ghostbusters one, but it only works if you yell I ain't afraid of no ghosts
>>
OP you have to get ur ass upside so u can fill in some food oil into your ass
>>
>>683079820
fill your ass with water or oil to help lubricate it then push really hard.
you might want to be in the shower for this because it might get messy and you can use the shower to clean up when you're done.
>>
>>683079820
make a oil enema
put a dumy in your asshole and fix it
wait to days without going to toilet
shit it out
>>
post timestamp OP
>>
>>683080337
PLS tell me this is fucking true timestamp or something
>>
>>683081732
This
>>
>>683082205
who u gonna call ? emergency !
>>
>>683082205
dont forget ample application of ectoplasim
>>
Kek, faggot. I think you must go to the hospital, but no for the vibrator, just because you are so retarded.
>>
use a neodym magnetic
>>
>>683081918
Aw shit i know that girl but forgot her name
>>
>>683082300
Lost
>>
>>683082025
no its not fat
>>
File: cat-disappoint.jpg (72 KB, 424x309) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
cat-disappoint.jpg
72 KB, 424x309
>>683081908
>one time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass
>>
>>683082288
Nice doubles
>>
File: plunger.jpg (19 KB, 1239x794) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
plunger.jpg
19 KB, 1239x794
Use this
>>
>>683082205

You are the reason i keep coming back to this fucking place.

>> thanks anon
>>
File: 1457713264186.png (92 KB, 250x250) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1457713264186.png
92 KB, 250x250
>>683079820
dont flush next time you go poo poo, and good luck my man.
>>
>>683081732
>literally pushing it further up his digestive track, into his intestines.

That's brilliant! Do this, Op. Your intestines will dissolve your sister's vibrator and no one will find out what happened to you.
>>
is lemmiwinks back yet ?
>>
Imagine him going to the doctor, like hes sitting in a waiting room, everythings quiet but people constantly are checking their phones because of the vibration they hear
>>
>>683081682
see >>683081908
>>
wait i got it!!
lube up your hand and try sticking your hand up to your wrist in there
then you can really feel around for it
just think about would you rather stretch your asshole or have your current predicament
>>
>>683082318
>girl
>>
>>683082455
Top fucking kek
>>
>>683082455
kek
>>
>>683082205
Kek
>>
>>683082406
Your welcome buddy
>>
>>683082398
ye or call a gay plumber to plumb out of yo a$$
>>
>>683082475
She is
A lot of guys tought it was a trap but found out shes a girl and left
>>
>>683080920
This guy is right. I got into a similar situation when I was like 20, just go to the fucking hospital. They'll put something like a speculum in, spread your ass fish around with forceps, grab it and remove it. No surgery, you'll be in and out in a few hours.

Do yourself a favour, write a note explain your situation and be ready to hand it to the ER nurse.

The doctor who helped me told me all sorts of fucked up stories about people who were much worse situations. Yes it is embarassing, but you'll get over it and best bit is no one will ever know. As for your families insurance, ask the doctor for what you can tell them that sound routine that matches the insurance amount. I didn't have that prroblem because my country has medicare and I was poor.
>>
>>683082455
hahahahahahahahaha
>>
Go to the kindergarden,
there are people with small hands
>>
File: randy taylor.jpg (35 KB, 393x568) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
randy taylor.jpg
35 KB, 393x568
>>683082529
>she
>>
File: Room_4_more.webm (3 MB, 960x540) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Room_4_more.webm
3 MB, 960x540
>>683079820
>>
>>683082455
> waiting room

where do you live that you need to sit in a waiting room while in a state of emergency ?
>>
>>683082573
topkek
>>
>>683079820
OP, is very easy. Go to Arabia, find a magic lamp and see the genius laught on your faggot face.
>>
>>683082212
This will work, bullet vibes are waterproof. Even the cheap shitty ones are waterproof
>>
>>683082502

And then youfo and fuck it ip by writing "your"

>> fucking anon
>>
Somebody screen cap this shit and post it here so I can save it top kek!!
>>
>>683081882
screwdriver a safe dildo does not make
>>
>>683082573
kek
Good point though
>>
File: Rose.jpg (32 KB, 450x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Rose.jpg
32 KB, 450x360
>>683082318
Rose
>>
>>683082603

Clown car?

>> SOMEBODY PLEASE REVERSE THIS
>>
just advice a fucking plumber
>>
>>683082606
As OP is sitting here for an hour and a half i could think hes not goint to an emergency doctor first
>>
This thread is so fucking funny. I can't stop laughing.
>>
>>683082603
why can this happen but when i try any sort of ass play it reaches a point where i feel like i might die if it goes 1mm further?
>>
Fucking magnets OP how do they work?????

Get a strong magnet (from a tv) then put it near your ass
>>
>>683082606
everywhere, ER's are always filled with fuckers who don't want to wait until morning and are too dumb to ring a locum doctor service but don't need to be in a hospital. Because of this ER nurses have to filter everyone by how urgent they actual need tto see a doctor.
>>
File: 1462541858882.jpg (14 KB, 300x300) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1462541858882.jpg
14 KB, 300x300
>>683082606
Never heard of hospital triage? Every fucking hospital in the world does it. There are people with more pressing emergencies. OP won't die in the next hours
>>
>>683082603
how is she going to get that out of her?
>>
>>683082766
pause vid at 1 sec and look at her gentiles
she is fucking disgusting thats why
>>
>>683082766
Cos' she is internally fucked. And practise
>>
>>683082584
Oh
Different guy/girl/degenerate
Sorry
>>
did OP die?
>>
>>683079820
Just wait for it to run out of power?
>>
>>683082731
*sigh* okay
>>
File: 1461814253141.jpg (82 KB, 479x680) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1461814253141.jpg
82 KB, 479x680
>>683082516
>yo a$$
I hate you
>>
>>683082318
It's Rose
>>
File: 1458194403906.webm (3 MB, 1280x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1458194403906.webm
3 MB, 1280x720
If your sister finds out, she's going to tell her friends.

Then they'll tell everybody.
>>
File: buttworm2.gif (1 MB, 320x240) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
buttworm2.gif
1 MB, 320x240
>>683082861
>>
File: 1461073732183.jpg (40 KB, 575x323) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1461073732183.jpg
40 KB, 575x323
>>683082529
>A lot of guys tought it was a trap but found out shes a girl and left
/b/ in a nutshell
>>
>>683082838
>>683082856

Kek , I live in Israel and even in the slightest emergency I get treated immediately.
>>
>>683082941
GET OUT OF HERE STALKER
>>
>>683082212
This. Use something to squirt the oil into your ass, don't try and pour it in. Or use a funnel if you have to.
It will need to be a lot it sounds like you've got it pretty deep in there.
You'll feel pressure inside as you fill yourself with the oil, when you're done stand up, spread your legs and give it a mighty push. Don't stop until you feel all the oil make its way out your hole even when you pass the bullet, when you're done clean up and return your sisters sex toy and go buy your own.
>>
File: yuk.jpg (65 KB, 500x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
yuk.jpg
65 KB, 500x400
>>683082986
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
>>
>>683083010
wot
>>
>>683082986
>>
>>683082986
Amber Rayne. RIP. :(
>>
Attach a hose inside a condom, at the other end of the condom, you attach/glue a cord, use a rod to stick the condom in your ass, fill it with water, pull at the cord to enclose your toy, and pull it out
>>
>>683082529
>>683083014

Rose's sex has never been confirmed.
>>
>>683080871

This.
>>
File: 1461785984419.jpg (20 KB, 493x387) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1461785984419.jpg
20 KB, 493x387
>>683083041
Sure anon. Maybe you got lucky once but no hospital would keep an ER empty when there's many fuckers with "slight emergencies"

If it's a slight emergency go to a fucking doctor, not an ER. You are why we can't have nice things
>>
>>683082766
it has to do with the position of her legs in relation to her torso and the fact the dildos she uses are so soft and flexible so they can go around the bend at the top of the colon.
>>
>>683082986
holy hell
>>
Get another faggot to lick it out, faggot.
>>
>>683083083
I was waiting for her to bite it off
I wonder if there is a webm of someone doing that
>>
>>683083041
kek, I don't live in Israel and don't get rockets shot at me
>>
>>683083064
OP, you'll probably want to use a syringe to insert the lube if you can get your hands on one.

Also, buy yourself something with a FLARED BASE. Something that's not going to get sucked into your asshole.
>>
>>683082986
fucking, fuck
thats hot to people
there is nothing that wont turn people on
>>
File: jewed.jpg (424 KB, 1162x850) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
jewed.jpg
424 KB, 1162x850
>>683083041
kill yourself please :)
>>
File: 1318804494002.png (81 KB, 500x341) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1318804494002.png
81 KB, 500x341
Nice bait, Op. I'll give you a 7/10 for being funny.
>>
>>
File: 1459558573193.jpg (61 KB, 480x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1459558573193.jpg
61 KB, 480x720
>>683083254
In this world, there probably is.
>>
Next time tie a string to the end of it so you can pull it out retard.
>>
>>683082643
Even if they aren't, would it matter if the vibe breaks? Don't think so, also the batteries have such a low voltage that it can't hurt even if it would break in pieces
>>
>>683083113
lemme guess died of anal fucking
>>
>>683083337
please, take your memes, and fuck off.
>>
>>683083342
>>
>>683083041
If your bleeding badly, have breathing difficulties, chest pain, broken bones they treat you asap everyone else depends on why you are there.
>>
>>683082205
Does it come with a fat niggress?
>>
>>683082903
those things can laast hours... not a good idea
>>
>>683082877
>gentiles
wut
>>
>>683083342
A laxative takes too long to work. OP really should get that thing out of him as soon as possible, before it has a chance to do any damage.

OP, go to the ER. A doctor's office probably doesn't have the equipment necessary to remove the dildo.
>>
>>683082205
Bwahaha. I had that toy.
>>
>>683082603
Is she virgin?
>>
>>683083405
Wait youre suposed to put half a finger up there? I just put the supposatory in and use my anal muscles to pull it inside
I aint no faggot that fucks himself with a finger
>>
>>683083041
I thought being gay was banished for you sandniggers OP gonna get decapitated for sure
>>
>>683083531
Even if it's for medical reasons?
>>
>>683083382
she died in her sleep, cause of death is still unknown but drug OD is suspected.
>>
>>683081699

Kek
>>
>>683083365
I'm assuming OP is still hoping he can clean and return the vibe without his sister ever knowing

>inb4 pussy infection
>>
>>683083531
why do you take ass medicine? In my country there are literally no ass medicines we just eat it
>>
>>683083525
yup first time anal too
>>
File: 1462463972264.png (164 KB, 465x305) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1462463972264.png
164 KB, 465x305
>>683083226
Mad 3rdie.

>>683083263
> iron dome
> implying I'm affected in any way by arabs with rocks.

>>683083297
I will mate.

>>683083407
they treat you immediately for ANYTHING

>>683083582
Huh ?
>>
File: 1447847165886.jpg (74 KB, 596x628) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1447847165886.jpg
74 KB, 596x628
>>683083508
>A laxative takes too long
>go to the ER
>>
File: Stoya.jpg (13 KB, 236x335) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Stoya.jpg
13 KB, 236x335
>>683083113
>>683083382
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/04/05/amber-rayne-porn-star-who-accused-james-deen-of-sexual-assault-found-dead/
>>
>>683083531
Fucking hell you only have yourself to blame you stupid paki you shoved it up there what were you expecting to happen
>>
I guess you will have to shuv your fist up your ass and try to reach it with your fingers.

First time for everything.
>>
Fill your ass with hydrofluoric acid and the vibrator will shrink and fall out
>>
>>683081499
So what? Just tell them you got enormous stomach pain. There won't be "removal of vibrator from anus" written anywhere on the bill.
>>
I hope op abandoned us and went to the hospital.
>>
>>683083041
>slight emergency
you mean when you get the old foreskin of your little brother stuck in your throat again?
>>
>>683079820
>I've already cum 5 time.
>>
>>683083681
Suppository is fast, like 10 minutes.
>Impaction sucks
>>
>>683083806
>hydrofluoric acid
People who actually get hold of that stuff do know what not to do with it tho
>>
>>683081525
Don't stand....
>>
>>683083857
I hope so but he's probably raiding the kitchen for crisco
>>
>>683083715
An article about her death is primarily about James Dean being an alleged rapist?
>>
File: oo.gif (1 MB, 245x250) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
oo.gif
1 MB, 245x250
>>683083866

> Israel
> must be Jewish

Kys ignorant cunt.
>>
File: 1460979594880.jpg (40 KB, 480x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1460979594880.jpg
40 KB, 480x480
use a magnet you dumb fuck.
>>
File: man-pain-er.png (283 KB, 567x314) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
man-pain-er.png
283 KB, 567x314
>>683079820

Op go to the emergency room now or you'll end up dead like this guy.

http://www.tntmagazine.com/news/weird/death-by-dildo-man-gets-vibrator-stuck-up-his-butt-dies
>>
File: 1462578727593.png (993 KB, 4923x5000) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1462578727593.png
993 KB, 4923x5000
>>683083686
>>
>>683083267
Instead of using a syringe you might want to use a turkey baster instead it's larger and after your done you can cook your family a nice dinner and try to explain the situation
>>
>>683084004
Kek, crisco in empty plastic coke bottle could work as a macgyver'ed enema. messy though.
>>
>>683084038
he wouldn't be getting "instantly treated" in emergency rooms if he was an arab.
>>
>>683084023
Well, he's white, so it's OK to make sure everyone knows that he's an example of typical male behavior without being racist.
>>
>>683079820
Have you tried swallowing a bigger Dildo? This will then dislodge the current one when you next shit... happens all the time , this is an easy less embarrassing fix!
>>
File: image.jpg (57 KB, 540x960) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
57 KB, 540x960
>>683081699
Beautiful
>>
Miami Paramedic here. You would be surprised how many times this happens (or maybe not based on the stupid fucks in here). You have to go to the hospital and have it removed. If you don't you will become septic and get very sick and eventually die. Yes, you will be super embarrassed, but get over it if you don't want to fuck yourself up.
>>
Take a funnel to fill your ass with flour
Then fill your ass with water
The vibrator will drive out with the slime
Make your ass a quicksand trap
>>
>>683084227
same theory as the old woman who swallowed the fly?
>>
>>683079820
An hero.
>>
>>683084073
there is a big difference between an 8 inch dildo and a 3 inch bullet. The size of what is inside Op's ass is not big enough to cause a permanent blockage.
>>
>>683084316
The 18 + version you weren't meant to read ;)
>>
File: na na na.jpg (72 KB, 400x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
na na na.jpg
72 KB, 400x400
nurse : doctor doctor theirs a person with vibrator stuck in their ass ( doctor : is it a faggot or a girl ) read the image
>>
>>683084297
Then make your family a nice ass bread don't worry about mixing that the vibrater will take care of the mixing
>>
>>683084408
>borat.jpg
>>
>>683082540
>Medicare
How's it going ausfag?
>>
File: bad luck.jpg (262 KB, 1608x1019) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
bad luck.jpg
262 KB, 1608x1019
>>683079820

ouch! bad luck m8 :D
>>
>>683083913
fair enough, I suppose it saves whitney houston esque shit scooping
>>
>>683082658
didnt realise yoda was into anal play
>>
>>683084449
Oh no, why my bread jumps down the street
Please, please, come back bread-bro
I even let you return into my, anus if you want so
Bread-bro, come on, I love you
>>
File: 1461982631230.png (7 KB, 224x225) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1461982631230.png
7 KB, 224x225
>>
249 replies and 88 posters This thread has so many same fags
>>
File: 1461478360199.jpg (74 KB, 480x270) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1461478360199.jpg
74 KB, 480x270
>>683084551
Holy fuck that's cringy
>:D
>>
>>683084262
who is that in the pic? Wouldsodomize/10
>>
>>683082455
I'd be more worried that the buzzing would attract bees.
>>
>>683080337
The first thing that came to my mind was to use pic related to reach, grab and remove it. Since you are obviously used to shoving things deep up your ass this shouldnt be a problem...
>>
>>683083745
I think you replied yo the wrong person anon
>>
>>683083612
I aint a faggot nigga
>>
>>683084772
I've posted about 5 times replying to things, I didn't realise we were only allowed one post per thread.

Thats it guys the threads over, this shitlord has decided we aren't allowed to talk, instead everyone can post on reply then we have to leave.

GG OP good thread

/thread
>>
File: dfghzuj.jpg (125 KB, 852x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
dfghzuj.jpg
125 KB, 852x480
>>
>>683080380
KEK
>>
>>683083681
If you get really sick you have to take suppositorys
They are stronger then normal pills
>>
File: i lol.jpg (8 KB, 261x193) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
i lol.jpg
8 KB, 261x193
if i get dubs op shoves hand in his ass and retrives it
>>
>>683079820
>bullet vibrator
those things are usually small, just get diarrhea and shit it out.
>Laxatives, or you can just force your entire hand in your ass and pull it out whille damaging your rectum and possible causing a prolapse.

Or if you don't live in america go see a doctor.
>>
>>683085040
Not necessarily, but they are absorbed faster and more reliably.
There are also some types of substances that has to be taken that way to avoid fucking up the stomach or avoid the stomach acids breaking down the substances.
>>
>>683084546
Watching American Ninja Warrior on foxtel, and my mate just phoned me to tell me the meet up event I blew off tonight is filled with tons of hot women, virtually no dudes. FUCK its normally creeps, autists and women in their 40's
>>
>>683084936
Bad idea! He would go to hospital if any of those spiky tooth hurts inside him.
>>
first of all op when did you think shoving a vibrator in your ass was a good idea you always used a dildo with large ball to prevent suck problems ( this knowledge is from a gay man so yeah ) op you dumb ass
>>
>>683085009
>shitlord
die
>>
>>683083525
he
>>
post timestamp of disaster area
>>
Nigga how is your ass going?
>>
File: CHECK EM.jpg (25 KB, 510x509) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
CHECK EM.jpg
25 KB, 510x509
>>683085333
>>
>>683085246
Then go there now?
>>
>>683079820
Where's that fucking timestamp?
>>
File: popcorn-mj-o.gif (1 MB, 320x240) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
popcorn-mj-o.gif
1 MB, 320x240
This fucking thread.
I don't care if it was bait. I am entertained.
>>
If you go to the hospital what they will do is put a fuck load of lube in your ass and go get it by hand. If they can't they will operate. Try step 1 by yourself, put you hand in there if you need, it will fit.
>>
Y nu magnuds
>>
>>683079820
>leave
Keep it in there, why the need to get it out if you are just going to put it in again?
>>
>>683085446
Can't it ends at 10:30, it would take too long to get to Port rd. Adelaide...
>>
>>683085551
True dat
>>
>>683080380
I love you
>>
>>683085666
Satan is right you know.
>>
Drink alcohol, then you don't mind the vibrations anymore
>>
>>683080892
>nabbed by a nigger
>>
Eat more lubricants
>>
>>683085551
Agreed some of the things people responded with my sides hurt
>>
>>683079820
Wtf?
>>
File: Untitled.jpg (71 KB, 723x894) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Untitled.jpg
71 KB, 723x894
8324 https://www.dropbox.com/s/2iacqrzr31sz7c3/4chan.zip?dl=1
>>
>>683079820
take laxatives?
phone a friend, i don't know op you are fucked now.
>>
>>683081392
I fucking forgot about this part, christ this thread is gold
>>
Stick so many vibrators in, that the resonance creates a block whole, that eats the hole time of your assoversum
>>
Sorry OP, go to doc.
Better your pride than your life.
>>
Go to any pharmacy or store that sells over the counter medication. Look for Magnesium Citrate. You will find it around the rest of the laxatives. Drink one full bottle (this is the normal and safe dose) quickly. It tastes like Sprite and oil. You will push it out in about an hour. In the meantime...relax. An enema at the same time would not be a bad idea either. If this does not move things along then the hospital is going to have to happen.
>>
File: Bo7TRo5IUAAJ6KD.jpg (18 KB, 412x293) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Bo7TRo5IUAAJ6KD.jpg
18 KB, 412x293
>>683086088
>phone a friend
He's engaged
>>
>>683081392
She'll know it is missing, but not necessarily know that Op took it. She could very well believe her mom found it.
>>
>>683081896
Get out
>>
Why do you think shoving a finger/dildo in your ass makes you a faggot? I fuck my boyfriend with a strap on and he enjoys it. You have a prostate for a reason, you can cum without touching your dick.
>>
>>683081896
What is a bait?
>>
>>683081896
Like Mark "Chopper" Read used to say "never let facts get in the way of a good story."
>>
>>683079820
Go jogging 5km then it pops out
>>
>>683079820
Dont worry the batteries will run out soon
>>
>>683079820
Post pics of your sister
>>
So... Where's OP?
>>
>>683081471
>Instead of siphoning gas you're siphoning ass
My fucking sides are in orbit
>>
>>683081606
one does not have to be gay to enjoy prostate stimulation
>>
>>683080380
its sideways,
try using another dildo to knock it loose

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fucking help me my sides hurt almost as much as OP's rectum right now. You sir just won the internet.
>>
>>683081054
can confirm this
>>
>>683087101
This
>>
Kill yourself, I heard you empty your bowels when you die.
>>
>>683080380
best answer by far
>>
Next time you decide to put a bullet vibe in your ass, put it in a condom so you can pull it back out.
>>
Tits or gtfo
>>
>>683087664
The Slav Method
>>
hae you deletd system32 fromyour computer yet?
>>
>>683086766
Timestap tits or gtfo
>>
File: 1460820092134.jpg (147 KB, 800x1243) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1460820092134.jpg
147 KB, 800x1243
>>683087884
>>
>>683083382
>>683083715

>Rayne, who owns a horse farm

>Daniels said that she would care for Rayne’s animals after her death.

huehuehuehuehue
>>
>>683079820
Get a MRI scan and let the big magnet rip it out of your house of pleasure
Thread replies: 318
Thread images: 61
Thread DB ID: 35927



Navigation: /b/ - Random [Archive] | Search | [sexy] | 4Archive.org | [Home]

Navigation: /b/ - Random [Archive] | Search | [sexy] | 4Archive.org | [Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at [email protected] with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.