I put my sister's bullet vibrator in my ass and now I can't get it out.
I thought I would be able take a shit to remove it, but it won't come out. It went too far in. I can't reach it with my fingers. It has been inside me for over an hour and a half and I've already cum 5 time. I'm starting to get really sore. It hurts.
I don't want to go to the hospital. It would be way too embarrassing. My whole family would know. I'd never hear the end of it. There has to be some other way to get this thing out of me.
I guess you could just leave it in there until it creates a blockage and puts your life in danger. There are always options, OP. BTW if you're over 18 the hospital cannot legally share your information with your family. You could make something up.
OP, you could legitimately die. Just go to the hospital. They've seen this a million times, nothing new for them. At least you have an actual sex toy in you and not a cucumber or a flashlight.
>Slice your stomach open
>Get it out
>Tell parents you got nabbed by a nigger
>Dissolve vibrator in hydrofluoric acid
>Sniff the fumes
Go to hospital idiot. They deal with that stuff everyday and I am sure they will understand that telling your family is something you would wish to avoid. Health beats embarrassment. anyway.
yeah this will work
basicly squat down butt cheeks on your heels and lightly try to poo until it comes out, evey 15-20 mins if it hasnt come out stop trying to poo, stand up for a minute or two and then squat again
Actually doctor patient confidentiality, doesn't matter what age
Also OP go see a fucking doctor, they see
this shit all the time, don't even worry about it
they have seen worse
Just go to the ER or something
>22 Objects People Have Actually Lost In Their Ass - Buzzfeed
please God let this be real
please God let this be real
please God let this be real...
usa a stick with bubblegum attached on one end
If your going to use a claw toy I recommend the ghostbusters one, but it only works if you yell I ain't afraid of no ghosts
fill your ass with water or oil to help lubricate it then push really hard.
you might want to be in the shower for this because it might get messy and you can use the shower to clean up when you're done.
Kek, faggot. I think you must go to the hospital, but no for the vibrator, just because you are so retarded.
>one time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass
dont flush next time you go poo poo, and good luck my man.
>literally pushing it further up his digestive track, into his intestines.
That's brilliant! Do this, Op. Your intestines will dissolve your sister's vibrator and no one will find out what happened to you.
wait i got it!!
lube up your hand and try sticking your hand up to your wrist in there
then you can really feel around for it
just think about would you rather stretch your asshole or have your current predicament
This guy is right. I got into a similar situation when I was like 20, just go to the fucking hospital. They'll put something like a speculum in, spread your ass fish around with forceps, grab it and remove it. No surgery, you'll be in and out in a few hours.
Do yourself a favour, write a note explain your situation and be ready to hand it to the ER nurse.
The doctor who helped me told me all sorts of fucked up stories about people who were much worse situations. Yes it is embarassing, but you'll get over it and best bit is no one will ever know. As for your families insurance, ask the doctor for what you can tell them that sound routine that matches the insurance amount. I didn't have that prroblem because my country has medicare and I was poor.
everywhere, ER's are always filled with fuckers who don't want to wait until morning and are too dumb to ring a locum doctor service but don't need to be in a hospital. Because of this ER nurses have to filter everyone by how urgent they actual need tto see a doctor.
Never heard of hospital triage? Every fucking hospital in the world does it. There are people with more pressing emergencies. OP won't die in the next hours
If your sister finds out, she's going to tell her friends.
Then they'll tell everybody.
>A lot of guys tought it was a trap but found out shes a girl and left
/b/ in a nutshell
This. Use something to squirt the oil into your ass, don't try and pour it in. Or use a funnel if you have to.
It will need to be a lot it sounds like you've got it pretty deep in there.
You'll feel pressure inside as you fill yourself with the oil, when you're done stand up, spread your legs and give it a mighty push. Don't stop until you feel all the oil make its way out your hole even when you pass the bullet, when you're done clean up and return your sisters sex toy and go buy your own.
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
Attach a hose inside a condom, at the other end of the condom, you attach/glue a cord, use a rod to stick the condom in your ass, fill it with water, pull at the cord to enclose your toy, and pull it out
Sure anon. Maybe you got lucky once but no hospital would keep an ER empty when there's many fuckers with "slight emergencies"
If it's a slight emergency go to a fucking doctor, not an ER. You are why we can't have nice things
it has to do with the position of her legs in relation to her torso and the fact the dildos she uses are so soft and flexible so they can go around the bend at the top of the colon.
OP, you'll probably want to use a syringe to insert the lube if you can get your hands on one.
Also, buy yourself something with a FLARED BASE. Something that's not going to get sucked into your asshole.
Nice bait, Op. I'll give you a 7/10 for being funny.
A laxative takes too long to work. OP really should get that thing out of him as soon as possible, before it has a chance to do any damage.
OP, go to the ER. A doctor's office probably doesn't have the equipment necessary to remove the dildo.
> iron dome
> implying I'm affected in any way by arabs with rocks.
I will mate.
they treat you immediately for ANYTHING
>A laxative takes too long
>go to the ER
Op go to the emergency room now or you'll end up dead like this guy.
Instead of using a syringe you might want to use a turkey baster instead it's larger and after your done you can cook your family a nice dinner and try to explain the situation
Miami Paramedic here. You would be surprised how many times this happens (or maybe not based on the stupid fucks in here). You have to go to the hospital and have it removed. If you don't you will become septic and get very sick and eventually die. Yes, you will be super embarrassed, but get over it if you don't want to fuck yourself up.
nurse : doctor doctor theirs a person with vibrator stuck in their ass ( doctor : is it a faggot or a girl ) read the image
The first thing that came to my mind was to use pic related to reach, grab and remove it. Since you are obviously used to shoving things deep up your ass this shouldnt be a problem...
I've posted about 5 times replying to things, I didn't realise we were only allowed one post per thread.
Thats it guys the threads over, this shitlord has decided we aren't allowed to talk, instead everyone can post on reply then we have to leave.
GG OP good thread
those things are usually small, just get diarrhea and shit it out.
>Laxatives, or you can just force your entire hand in your ass and pull it out whille damaging your rectum and possible causing a prolapse.
Or if you don't live in america go see a doctor.
Not necessarily, but they are absorbed faster and more reliably.
There are also some types of substances that has to be taken that way to avoid fucking up the stomach or avoid the stomach acids breaking down the substances.
Watching American Ninja Warrior on foxtel, and my mate just phoned me to tell me the meet up event I blew off tonight is filled with tons of hot women, virtually no dudes. FUCK its normally creeps, autists and women in their 40's
first of all op when did you think shoving a vibrator in your ass was a good idea you always used a dildo with large ball to prevent suck problems ( this knowledge is from a gay man so yeah ) op you dumb ass
This fucking thread.
I don't care if it was bait. I am entertained.
If you go to the hospital what they will do is put a fuck load of lube in your ass and go get it by hand. If they can't they will operate. Try step 1 by yourself, put you hand in there if you need, it will fit.
Go to any pharmacy or store that sells over the counter medication. Look for Magnesium Citrate. You will find it around the rest of the laxatives. Drink one full bottle (this is the normal and safe dose) quickly. It tastes like Sprite and oil. You will push it out in about an hour. In the meantime...relax. An enema at the same time would not be a bad idea either. If this does not move things along then the hospital is going to have to happen.
Why do you think shoving a finger/dildo in your ass makes you a faggot? I fuck my boyfriend with a strap on and he enjoys it. You have a prostate for a reason, you can cum without touching your dick.
>Instead of siphoning gas you're siphoning ass
My fucking sides are in orbit
try using another dildo to knock it loose
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fucking help me my sides hurt almost as much as OP's rectum right now. You sir just won the internet.