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ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS
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used to fuck my sister back i our teens, had no idea it was wrong.
>>
>>683069801
I have a buried Penis, when standing up you cant see it it retracts back into my body.
>>
I am a very tall midget
>>
i fuck my cousin whenever she is here
Me and my other cousin send nudes to eachother
I might be the father of my girlfriends best friends baby
i may have had sex with a minor... or minors
>>
Back when I was sixteen I fucked a (male) professor, a (male) radio host and my own student teacher (female)
After that I decided to be a manwhore and I made a good $35,000 AUD in 6 months. I'm still in the process of investing it two years later.
>>
I seeiously hate that people treat me like shit just because i got short genes when the rest of my family are all 6 ft somethin football players and wrestlers and alph af. A big dude tried to bully me senior year and it remined me of my younger years when i was constantly being bullied. Now i haye just about everyone/thing. I have bad thoughts.
>>
I send nude of my gf to a friend, idk why but that turn me on

Ask any
>>
I used to let my dog fuck me for like a year, but I'm assuming it's cause I was raped for two years by a step brother. Not so great for an 11 year old.
>>
>>683069801
dat boi is me
>>
Fucked GF's sister a lot, and my kid walked in on us once. Lucky he was too young to remember.
>>
i jacked off my best friend. i'm also a guy. thought about doing more, but only with him.
>>
>>683069801
I meet girls online from different areas and countries, they all think they are my girlfriend. I meet them for sex, play the boyfriend role for a while, creampie them and go home. I've made 13 trips so far to other countries and the strange thing is I really love almost every one of them, but they'd hate me if they figured it out. I don't know what to do, in over my head.
>>
>>683069801

I fucked your mother.
>>
I have rub my dick against the toothbush of one of my pupil. Everytime she brush her teeth i have a erection. Damn i'm a piece of shit.
>>
>>683069996
aww, you have a baby penis. post pics
>>
i've turned down sex on 4 occasions with incredibly hott women way out of my league because i'm ashamed of my penis size.
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>>683070635
ive been seen having sex by quite a few kids, no big deal imo.
>>
>>683070753
Yeah, I'm with you, to a lesser extent. Married, spend time away from home for work. Gone through a lot of online girlfriends, met some and fucked. It's crazy easy with omegle, kik, and travelling around the Northeast and NYC for work. Almost thirty and I've pounded more pussy than I ever did in my early 20s
>>
im a janitor who deletes all the trap threads. you're welcome, /b/.
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>>683070376
Shut up, shorty.
>>
>>683070403
I'll bite. Post away
>>
I killed my baby nephew when I was 13 and I got away with it
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>>683071079
You're not doing good enough.
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>>683069801
I've never held hands,kissed,fucked,dated a girl

it's the worst when my friends start talking about the stuff they've done cause I'm there hoping the conversation doesn't turn to me
>>
I let my 6 year old nephew give me a hand job. Woke up to him grabbing my shit, it was hard, told him it felt good, didn't ask any more questions.
He has a very forgiving personality, and hopefully fairly short term memory.
>>
Does my post get logged? Can it be used to prosecute me? Cause I still have 12 years to go before I can spill the beans
>>
my mother's car tried to finger in the back of my friends's mom.
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>>683071249
You're safe, the logs are purged every day.
>>
I'm not interested in sex unless I'm deeply in love with the woman. When ever I read others fucking randoms or whores I feel nothing. I'm basically Asexual.
>>
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Exchanged nudes with my girlfriend's mom. Fapped in front of her at her house when I stayed over
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i'm a 32 year old virgin
>>
>>683071206
>atleast I dont watch anime

God damn you're a fucking loser
>>
>>683071315
>I'm not interested in sex unless I'm deeply in love with the woman. When ever I read others fucking randoms or whores I feel nothing. I'm basically A faggot
>>
>>683071349
Why?
>>
27, gf is 22.
I got offered a job in Dubai and I took it before telling her.
Almost triple my salary, three year contract and the perfect opportunity to earn a shit load of money, live in Dubai for three years and then return home.
Broke the news to my girl with the intention of making a long distance relationship work. She basically nixed the entire thing straight up and broke up with me because I didn't discuss it with her at first. My argument was basically triple my salary guaranteed for three years we'll be set up for life and get married when I come back blabla.

I've sold most of my things and I leave for Dubai next Saturday. Staying in a hotel for a week, gf was planning to go away on work placement this week but her mother is away. So I have to stay and look after her two sisters for a week before I go. Just out of spite for breaking up with me I am thinking of trying to get it into one of them or at least get nudes or something. Got nothing to lose now.
>>
>>683071208
brool story co
>>
Used to go to my friends big sisters room to masturbate and sniff her panties when she was not home and my friend thought I was taking a shit

This was back in like 6th grade or something
>>
>>683071365
As it should be.
>>
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>>683071447
And now you're right where you belong
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>>683069801
I've got a crippling amphetamine habit, sorry ma
>>
>>683069996
Pics? Genuinely curious. Gonna need dat timestamp too.
>>
used to give father blowjobs as favors when i was a kid.
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>>683069801
I love fapping in the Dark Forest at night when everyone is asleep.
>>
>>683071395
What's the gig in Dubai? Nothing specific, industry is fine. I'm very tempted to try and get in on that Muslim blood money before the well runs dry.

Speaking of going in dry, her sisters
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>>683071333
Trip trips also, ama
>>
>>683071138
Not bite, its true
>>
>>683071564
Favors for what? Baskin robbins?
>>
I may have caused someones death, because I didnt do my job properly and they never found out. Kills me every night
>>
>>683069801
I don't call myself a virgin because when I was about to actually lose my virginity I put on a condom (bout to fuck on a couch in her living room), got like 4 good thrusts in then the condom was actually too tight and I lost my boner and couldn't get hard, ended up just leaving and never talking again.

Don't trust flashy asian dragon condoms, they're made 4 asians
>>
>>683071367
I'm a double-amputee in a wheelchair. I dont' have the money to get out much and meet people, and all throughout my 20s i had health problems that kept me from getting out. I live in the south, and in this part of the south women are married with kids by their 20s. Plus the few times i've had the offer I never went all the way out of embarrassment of penis size. I did give the women orgasms with my fingers and tongue though. So there's that.
>>
>>683071653
Sounds like they got it easy. Only killed them once.
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>>683071631
Wut?
>>
>>683071652

he used to say im gonna need a favor and i knew what he meant. usually when my mother wasnt home or wasnt gonna be home or asleep.
>>
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>>683069801
I secretly make chocolate milk and pour it down the drain while I jack off into the stream while screaming NEEDS MORE MILK
>>
>>683071363
but I do watch anime. my situation isn't all bad. I'm going to university and I have 2 friends at school now.
>>
One long lonely broke night at a bar in Vegas some years ago, I'm finishing a losing night gambling by sipping a beer at a casino bar, and for some time there was a guy who kept ordering drinks next to me. He'd grab his drinks and go off to party with whoever, presumably racking up a tab.

When it was time for the guy to pay his bill, he checked his receipt and left a stack of paper money, then left without waiting for his change. The bartender's back was to him, and I was done for the night, so I grabbed those bills and high tailed it out of the casino, thinking I made out with a few hundred bucks.

Turns out it was about $60 in five dollar bills, so I risked stealing from a casino and getting caught for less money than I had spent at a slot machine in the previous 20 minutes.
>>
>>683071783
And you're still doing it faggot whats wrong with you
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>>683071157
Story?
>>
>>683071733
Well fuck you then.
>>
I pick my belly button and sniff it. I think it smells great :)
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>>683071653
>Kills me every night
>>
>>683071807
B8. After you typed I do watch anime, you struggled, hesitating what bull shit to follow up with.
>>
>>683071885
Better than picking your asshole and smelling it. I suppose my secrets out of the bag now.
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>>683071619
Finance sector. There was absolutely no chance I was turning this down. If somebody says "here have around 800,000 euro for three years of pretty cruisy work." You say where do I suck and will I be cupping your balls also?
>>
I'm not trans, and I don't want to be.
I'm not a trap, and I don't want to be.

I've taken nudes of just my ass, or something similar, and I send it to random dudes on a female account asking if they like it

They usually respond, I don't.

They all believe it.
Why am I like this, /b/?
>>
>>683072009
That's funny but also fucked up. Thanks for the laugh!
>>
Is the FIB monitoring this thread, cause i got shit to get off my chest
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>>683071993
nothing in my post is a joke. I really do only have 2 friends at school. one of them goes on 4chan too which is sort of how we became friends.
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>>683072161
Which is also what you'll say to the girls.
Amirite!
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>>683072161
Should have just lied, and said you were offered the job, but you weren't sure. If you can convince some sandniggers you're worth 800K a year, surely you can convince this cunt to let you take off for 3 years.
>>
>>683072161
Your GF is too young to know what the fuck she wants anyway, and to be honest, so are you. Take your cash and live large for a few years and find yourself a nice 30 year old woman who's out of college and has a career and knows what she wants.
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>>683072231
Why do you choose to live like that. Just end it god damn it you pathetic sack
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>>683072197

they dont actively monitor is. site is backed up occasionally in case someone makes a thread or posts something illegal. no one sits there looking at every thread.
>>
>>683070913
Don't be anymore
If its 5inch or longer, you'll be all good
Trust me.

Next time you accept the sex anon
>>
Who wants to get their dick sucked and make a new secret?
>>
My wife doesn't know i'm gay. I'm only using her for social acceptance due to my job and social status.
>>
>>683071864

>be me
>13, youngest in the family
>I was used to having all the focus be on me
>My sister gets a kid
>Everyone forgets about me
>My mon literally doesn't even make me food anymore
>Just focused on the baby
>I'm neglected
>One night, my sister leaves baby at our house and goes out with friends
>I have had enough
>Suffocate kid with a pillow
>Throw pillow away outside
>Go back to bed
>They think baby died from "free suffocation" or something like that

(By free suffocation I mean a thing where the kid like swallows water or something and then they die in their sleep)
>>
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>>683072379
This anon is correct! We, I mean they, never check these threads!
>>
>>683069801
I'm a celebrity and shit post about my self on 4chan.
>>
>>683072435
You need to come out. For her sake and yours. You'd be surprised at how supportive friends and family are. I'm not gay, but my sister is bi. No big deal. I jokingly asked if we could go pick up chicks together. lol
>>
>>683072526

hello Keanu.

>both Matrix sequels sucked man. WTF?
>>
>>683072161
Also, forgot to add, the fact that your 22 year old GF won't "let" you do this and can't see the forest through the trees should very easily tell you that this will not work out in the end anyway. That's why I'm saying get rid of her and don't bother with the drama with her sisters. You'll easily find a prettier, smarter, and more grounded woman closer to your age that has a sense of what is important in life (whether that's your money or your companionship).

Either way, with the money you're making in Dubai, you'll easily land any under 25 pussy you want for a couple of months, so your sex needs will easily be taken care of.
>>
i fucked my best friends boyfriend and i feel awful about it
>>
I just took a shower with my 7 and 9yo nieces and 11yo nephew. have showered with all of them before, was 1st time with all 3. didnt molest or do anything bad but it's for the better if their parents dont find out, especially the 11yo's conservative godfag parents.
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>>683072484
Do you regret what you did?
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>>683072484
>>My mon literally doesn't even make me food anymore
>>Just focused on the baby
>>I'm neglected
No, you're s psychopath.
>>
I am 23 years old and I have erectile dysfunction
>>
My ex-gf infected me with a fetish for dogs. Nowadays its pretty much all I can think about. Now I don't have anyone to share it with anymore and I don't think I'll ever find anyone I can admit it to irl. Life is suffering.
>>
>>683070605
oh shit waddup
>>
>>683072631
I liked the Matrix sequels... and Phantom Menace.
>>
>>683072715

kek. you keep changing the ages faggot.

at least keep it consistent. stupid.
>>
>>683072746
I'm 22 and have that. Welcome to the club.
>>
>>683072484
Jesus christ, dude.
>>
Since I'm married, I fuck woman who are around my wives daily routine even if I'm not attracted to them - fucked her sister, her hairdresser, her best friend, two waitress in her favorite restaurant, a trainee in her job
trying to pick up her cousin and waiting her younger sister to become 18 (17 now)
I was loyal before
>>
>>683072746
stop whackin it so much
>>
>>683072306
Not 800k a year, it works out to be around 260 a year. The opportunity itself is a massive door opener as well. Oath I should have lied, I got inside my head and tried to pitch it as a 3 years asay, come back financially secure and get married when you're nearly finished your degree.

>>683072324
Yeah true dat. Fuckin just.. A head fuck that I didn't need. In my head I thought everything would go amazingly. Especially with the whole you're earning shit loads of money that si fantastic.

Guess true colours poked through on that one. Speaking of poking through. Hopefully I can poke through one of her sisters, or maybe both.
>>
I lost my virginity to a passed out drunk woman. Now I regret it knowing I'll never forget that was my first time
>>
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>>683072787
>and Phantom Menace.
>>
>>683072756
Hey I have a fetish for dogs. 509, hbu?
>>
>>683072811

How do you deal with it? I just called the hospital to start treatment.
>>
>>683072484
Out of all the made up things I've ever read, this is the most made up.
>>
>>683072484
Ayo...that's kind of fucked up man.
>>
>>683072811
I'm 22 and I'm hard as rocks all the damn time
>>
>>683071395
Forget her

Never let a female hold you behind my man, if she's not motivating you and wanting to build a better life with you she shouldn't be with you.

Bone her sister/s though.
>>
>>683072702
I'm 27 bruh, gf is 22. Lol
>>
>>683072725
Not at all. Sometimes I think back about how my family ignored me completely and my mother didn't act like a mother towards me anymore and I get angry and kind of wish I could go back and kill him again in another, more satisfying way.
>>
One of my customers, a famous celebrity, whom no one knows is gay. I am stock piling evidence on him.
>>
>>683072820
That's pretty self destructive and you should not be married. How do you honestly think that will eventually resolve itself? They will all find out and you'll be fucked. The next stupidest thing you can do is have a few kids with these women, then you'll be fucked financially for life.

Bail now and move to a new city and put it all behind you.
>>
>>683069801
when I was ~8 or 9 or 10
I let another kid lick my dick
no homo
>>
>>683071524
Adderall?
Something harder?

Share with me if you're willing, I'm curious
>>
>>683072857
Deal with it.
>>
>>683072905
Have a very understanding girlfriend. It works sometimes, and when it doesn't, there's other methods.
>>
>>683071733
Norway would be a great country for you, shit loads of gov money and a fully paid helper, have a friend like u and he has travelled the world and gets around alot, has a nice apartment all paid for by taxpayer money, which i fully support
>>
>>683071395
Mate I lived in dubai for the same reasons, get ready for everything to cost 3 times as much as well, when my colleague tried to leave they took his passport and the keys to his house and cars because the company owned them, I had to pack up myour house and leave in 12 hours I got a call from Manchester airport saying they were outside my house in dubai and wanted my stuff too, everything is very expensive and very corrupt
>>
>>683072330
It's really not ass. I'm not a social person what so ever once I get out of class I usually just go home and play video games or soccer later in the day.
>>
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>>683072805
wtf are you talking about?
>>
>>683072883

Swecuckistan, sorry m8.
>>
If I told you my secrets then they wouldn't be secrets
>>
>18
>sugar daddy
>never really see him he's very busy
>buys me everything i want
>no rent
>inb4 female
>>
>>683071791
I want to get high on this.
>>
A week ago I (male) had the opportunity to sleep with friend (female), because her boyfriend was working abroad and my girlfriend studies abroad too. Firstly we had a night of movies, interesting conversación and friendly cuddles. When we went to bed, a big one, I coudln't sleep at first because she is too hot (got nice body, very fuckable to be a bit chubby), so I stood awake pretending to be sleeping while she was in a deep sleep. At 4:00 am I was still awake, and she, while dreaming began to stay lay up, legs almost wide open and wearing just a tshirt and a thong. Continue or stop?
>>
>>683072702
oh shit totally fucked up and read that wrong sorry chief.

Yeah I didn't really expect to see how quickly she just shut the whole thing down. It was fucking cold and has left me quite numb about it. I guess when I get over there I can get my feet on the ground and forget about it all. Maybe go somewhere else, Northern Europe or something after. Bang some fit Czech chiks.
>>
I've known that shes not my biological daughter for the past 6 years coincidentally. I'm waiting until she turns 18 before I leave her but I unknowingly mistreat her hoping she finds out sooner so I can get it over with
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>>683069801
I've been to a asian massage parlor twice in the last 2 weeks. also went to a brothel for the first time a few weeks ago. feels normal now
much easier than trying to hook up with a girl for free. Even though I'm in good shape and half decent looking. just a teensie bit autist
>>
>>683073161
Get a load of this guy
>>
>>683072704
selfish cunt
>>
>>683073095
shit thanks for the heads up. Sounds a bit fuckin iffy.
>>
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>>683073202
STOP
>>
>>683073095
I've heard this as well. Big salary offers and for a while it's nice, then your rent gets raised by 3x the next year and you can't get out of your contract and you can't afford to live there, so you just suck it up and try to make do. But in the end you owe, and since Dubai has debtor's prison, you can quite literally go to jail forever because of your debt. Save money for an escape plan as soon as you see shit go south, and then fucking bail on your contract and get the hell out of that country.
>>
>>683072009
Fem here, I smell my own period blood and love the shit out of it.
>>
i always masturbated to thoughts of my stepsis when i was a teen. wanted to act on it so many times but was too chicken shit.
>>
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youngest i've fucked was 12.

>not telling you how old i was though.
>mfw it happened.
>>
>>683073258
Nothing wrong with that. I wish I had brothels in my area.
>>
I have willingly given fellatio to a man and regret the duck out of it
>>
I'm a wanted man in 2 different states, and Ive had plastic surgery done
>>
>>683069801
The true reason I no longer get drunk is that I get an urge to kill someone.
>>
I dont have secrets, they are of the mind, and mind is a tool for expanding yourself and bettering yourself
>>
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>>683073399
>regret the duck out of it
>the duck.
>duck.
>>
>>683073419

chapo is that you?
>>
>>683071315
Me too. Just wait until you lose a relationship over your low sex drive.
>>
>>683072526
Gotta be Taylor Swift
>>
I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Now I hear that whitle blowing, I hang my head and cry.
>>
>>683073056

Same here bro, looks like we're on the same page, but I think it's starting to hurt my girlfriend psychologically, she started to think she's not good enough even though she's hot as fuck.

You should seek treatment
>>
I'm in love with my step daughter.
>>
>>683073576

shit. try being in love with your own daughter.
>>
>>683073397
12yo isnt that unreasonable, quite a few 12yo girls are sexually active.
>>
>>683073551
I tried pills, they did nothing. What else is there?
>>
I'm an angry, unstable mental patient who, when asked by his psychiatrist if "everything is ok", responds, "sure", with a fake, shit grin on my face.
>>
>>683073649
Do you watch porn?
>>
>>683071315
I think theres a word for that, demisexual
sound like you?
>>
>>683073668
Protip: your not fooling them.
>>
>>683073668
you watch porn?
>>
I have sex with my step daughters car, and I lick all the apholstry for hours every weekend
>>
>>683073733

Then why am I not locked up then?
>>
>>683073701
Not very much, and I've tried the whole abstinence from porn thing. I get really hard for one fuck session, then it's back to normal.
>>
>>683073751
do you watch porn?
>>
>>683069801
I work for the NSA. We pay Nishimura an undisclosed amount to create this thread every day to collect private information on /b/ users. We know who 92% of you all are. Some of you are very well known regs, such as top political figures and celebs. We also trace your Internet habits for Homeland Security purposes, testing new cyberspy toys, and of course, foar teh lulz.
>>
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>>683073348
Wtf? Might as well have hit me with a loyd's talisman that's nasty.
>>
>>683073752
Auto-erotic participation.
>>
>>683073812
Do you wake up with erections?
>>
>>683073752

dude, have you watched transformers?
>>
I had a GF with a perpetually smelly pussy, and a girl on the side. Had sex with the GF, and then drove 3 hours back to college in a non air conditioned car during a humid July afternoon while wearing jeans. When I got back to college, the girl on the side (who wasn't that bright and also, very needy) gave me a full-to-completion blowjob before I could take a shower.
>>
>>683073806
> Mental patient
> not locked up
Pick one
>>
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>>683073828
>We pay Nishimura an undisclosed amount to create this thread every day

kek. implying the gov has to pay anyone anything.
>>
>>683073884
Very rarely. It's a nice surprise when it does happen, and it's usually cause I have to pee.
>>
For 4 days straight, I learned how to beat a polygraph. The Sgt. Said he would get off my ass if I just voluntarily agreed to take the test. I passed, case is still unsolved.
>>
Went about a nine month stretch a few years ago of endlessly jerking it on omegle until I came for someone. Didn't care who, men, women, girls, boys. Didn't matter how young or old. If they wanted to watch and got me off I drained my balls for them.

Only started recording in the last couple of months of it and up until a couple of months ago had about 300 vids of me cumming.
Felt really guilty and deleted it all. Kinda glad I did in a way, but kinda still feel like I wanna get back into it even though I have a gf now.
>>
>>683074013
Definitely physical then. Talk to your doctor.
>>
>>683073923
Wow thats fucking disgusting, anon. But also a win
>>
>>683073943

>takes "patient" literally.
>>
>>683069882
did you cum in her?
>>
>>683073858
I realized it completely on accident one day. Seiously smelled a fantastic smell, realized it was my dirty/dried blood pad. Sniffed it. Sniffed it more.

I can never tell a partner, probably.

It's that same urge to breathe deep in when you smell fresh air, or go-cart gasoline, or the nitrogen that blasts out of the freezers at the grocery store. It just smells like pure need.
>>
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>>683069801
I'm a murderer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLw5b70OJH8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLw5b70OJH8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLw5b70OJH8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLw5b70OJH8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLw5b70OJH8
>>
>>683073202
Oh it's you, the shitty "writer" with the shitty stories. Fuck off.
Continue?
>>
>>683074043
Hmm, ok. I did before and he put me on Cialis, said it was weird at my age, and that's it. Maybe I need a different doctor.
>>
When I was 17/18 I fingerbanged a 14 year old that was coming on to me, 2 years later I feel like a piece of shit for it. But I'm learning to get past it.
>>
I do yoga, love it. But the truth is I started so I can be flexible enough to suck my own dick
>>
>>683073826
now we're asking the right questions. do we not all watch porn? perhaps, some more than others. in the end, porn is as much a part of us as our own heartbeats. porn is love. porn is life. so to answer your question: yes, i do indeed watch porn, but not your typical porn; oh no, i watch the porn of life, my friend. good ol' shemale life porn.
>>
>>683073649

Better to talk with your doctor, there is more than just pills
>>
>>683069882

i used to fuck her too.

>she never told you?
>>
>>683073348
Tits or GTFO. You know the rules.
>>
>>683074083
> says "patient" not literally.
>>
>>683074176
Did she have an orgasm?
>>
my secret: I'm extremely atrracted to my mom, cousin, and aunt, and sometimes even fantasize about them cucking me
>>
>>683070376
Gimli you came to the wrong thread
>>
>>683074237
No, she didn't
>>
I've been sleeping at a Target store for the past 2 weeks. I'm only awake now cause of the stockboys working right now
>>
>>683073828

Mfw imagining NSA having a meeting where every departments reps give reports on their work and one quiet nerdy guys turn comes up and the higher-ups all look at him

>"Well, Johnson, what of the Chan-taskforce?"
<*clears throat* "W-w-well sir... We know some random doofus likes to fuck dogs"
>"Johnson get the fuck out"
>>
>>683073626
>12yo isnt that unreasonable

its is when you're a substantial amount of years older than her. having said that, she was pretty slutty for her age.

>she hit on me first.
>>
>>683074195
No, this isn't my thread. I'm just another snon here.

Aside from that, where are you going to really learn about women? Brazzers?

Accept my disgusting confessions like a man.
>>
>>683074211

Yep. You got me chief. I was just making the whole thing up for lulz. Yeah. Sorry about that.
>>
I browse /b/
>>
I'm a mechanic. This week I managed to overcharge my customers and gained an extra $3178. Sometimes I dont even do any work.
>>
>>683074299
Okay, then yes, you should feel bad.
>>
I saw my sister in bikini after she come home from swimming, she was wet hair and I felt embarrassed. my penis come out 5 times
>>
>>683074412
eyebrows /b/
>>
>>683074364
i'll accept it like a man if you accept showing me your tits like a woman
>>
Truth be told, I am fucking horrified at the shit that /b/ posts in these threads. You are mostly all degenerate monsters with horrible, sick fantasies usually involving your close relatives. I just fucking cringe thinking what you people must be like in real life, and I know that someday my children will be around you.

Seriously, this thread is entertaining and all, and I've posted a few of my own things, but holy fucking shit are most of you really fucked up and the worse part is, you're basically aware of it but unwilling to do anything but subtly brag about it in an anonymous /b/ thread.

Fuck this world and all of you sick shits.
>>
>>683069801
Not much of a secret, but the first time i ever had sex was with my wife, after marriage.
>>
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>>683074306
>>
>>683072820
Fucking hilarious
>>
>>683074512

cool story brah..........
>>
>>683074384
Apology accepted, don't step on my headdress on your way out of my teepee.
>>
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Inspired by the cock tribute threads, I decided to cum on pictures of hot girls where I work starting today. I work overnight at a corporate center, lots of cubicle farms and pictures of self/family. I've got 2 so far, plan to hit at least 30 before I get a different job.
>MFW
>>
I secretly film my sister in law in the shower and jizz in her conditioner. It feels fucking awesome
>>
Have a fetish for wedgies
>>
>>683074364
>this isn't my thread
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
>>
>>683074505
Once again, not my thread, and I've got no interest in inconveniencing myself at the moment.
>>
mine involve things i have done with teen boys
>>
>>683074575

sure. but I might peep into your windows at night while you sleep.
>>
>>683074432
Good on you.
Seriously, good on you

This is the one occurance where I'll say that, mainly because the shit that needs a local mechanic can be done at home, easily if you just read up and spend time.
>>
>>683073348
Lol i do dat with girl's period blood
>>
kkk
>>
>>683074628
Did you teach them to play tennis? Cause that's only frowned upon if you're bad at it.
>>
>>683072846
I am so jealous of your tax exemptions. Making that much money in the U.S. barely leaves you with half as much in savings after all the taxes and living expenses. Are you in IB/PE, HFs, or something else? I'm more quantitative.
>>
I am the center of the universe, and you all exist only because I do. If I am unconscious you do not exist, when I die, this universe dies with me. I just wish I could figure out why everyone ignores me so god damn much in this world. it's fucking annoying to be ignored constantly in life, everyone laughing and enjoying each other's bullshit, but they all ignore me. maybe it's part of my subconscious mind trying to teach me something about patience or something.
>>
>>683074466
Don't blame you
Mine is ultra fugly, but I can understand your situation
>>
im very addicted to asses and anything doggystyle related, but anytime i fuck my GF from behind, it takes me about 4 thrusts to blow my load, i can last long in any other position except this, she loves it tho, so how can i fix it?
>>
i'm gonna carve the exploits out of the packet captures and sell them to tipping point
>>
>>683074670
Teepees don't have windows. Suppose I could get them installed though.
>>
>>683074586
The same hell I've been in for almost 11 years.
>>
pp
>>
>>683069996
That's called a clitoris, mate
>>
>>683069801
Someones serving my time in the joint all because I picked up a few things from CSI
>>
>>683074237
Well
>>683074299
That wasn't me. But no, it was a kind of heat of the moment thing. She was messaging me sexual shit on facebook out the blue. Being really overt (Actually telling me to fuck, at some point). I knew she was too young, but she kept pushing and one day outside of school, I just kinda said fuck it and we made out and I fingered her a little. I feel like shit because I know that I would have done more back then, and that eats me a little for being a fucking pedo at some point.
>>
>>683074685
Isn't it fucking amazing? Am I just gay as hell? There has to be super-pheremones or something in that shit. I got so into it once that I had to scrape the drying blood out of my nosehairs. Kill me.
>>
>>683074798
Then you should know the rules.
>>
Once I was being an umpire for a under 12 year old baseball league and it was hot out and the game was tied and I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. The home team hit a ball that was about 3 feet to the left of the foul line - an obvious foul ball - but I called it fair and let the winning run score so the game could be over.

The coaches and parents raised holy hell but I just bailed out of the field as quick as I could and didn't even bother getting my free meal at the Snack Shack. The losing team was set to go to the State Championships and I cost all those kids that chance because I was just too warm inside my umpiring gear.
>>
>>683074466
Did her breast grow to the fuck?
>>
>>683074628

Brian Singer is that you?...
>>
>>683074743

go for 2 round
fuck more in that position
>>
Professional footballer here lurking 4chan, fornerly played for Liverpool FC
>>
fucked my sister when she was 14 and I was 21.

best years of my life.
>>
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>>683074512
Eh, like anybody gives a fuck
>>
>>683075106

You suck now Torres.

Fuck off wanker.
>>
They think it was an accident
>>
I'm a pathological liar, i make shit up online and in person. I can't help it. It also makes me happy for some reason. People find happiness in love, money, sex, drugs, but i am happy when i lie and get away with it.
>>
>>683075157
I left LFC, before torres arrived
>>
>>683074515
hahahahahahahaahahahaahhahahaa
>>
>>683075068
yea on 2nd round it gets better indeed, ill do it more often, cheers mate
>>
-cousins visits us last week
- they have a sleep over
- one of my cousin shared the room with me
-just us both
-horny af
-call my cousin name a few times to make sure she's passed out dead
-get up and lo k the door
-pull out my dick and start jerking over her
-pull out phone and record it
-cum all over her shirt/boobs

Done this a couple times I have like 10 videos bout to jerk off to them
>>
i was phone.
>>
>>683069801

I once had sex with the finale to Tchaikovski's "1812 Overture" playing. It was her idea. I regret nothing.
>>
I saw my sister (14) bending down looking for her bra under her bed, she wasn't dressed because she just got out of the shower. i was so tempted to just ram my dick into her pussy but didn't. fucking regrets. How can I regret something that I could never really do anyways? What the hell is the point of this regret?
>>
>>683075261

No. You get happy because you're living in your own illusion.
>>
>>683075277
virgin
>>
>>683074512
Nah man, this is my first time posting in one of these threads. I hate what I've done, I just have come to terms with the fact that I can't let my past define my future. I have to move on and get better. I don't want to hurt anyone.
>>
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>>683073348
I've licked my gf on some occasions when she was on hers, weird but still amazing. She's incredibly horny in that case.

Once I was in a real hurry to get the bus to somewhere and I forgot what I just did. Had ma face, hands and shirt very red and looked like a murderer. But eh, still was nice
>>
Marred 12 years. Middle aged. But I am addicted to catfishing 20 years. I just feel good about stock piling hundreds of nudes
>>
I never smoked weed.
>>
>>683074731

Hey man, get out more you need friends... or a doctor.

take care ok?
>>
>>683075261
nice same here, though to a lesser extent. When I was in college most classes did stupid introduce yourself things during the 1st class(es). I loved to make shit up and no one would ever know better.
>>
I've wanted to fuck my sister since I hit puberty
>>
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>>683074731
>when I die, this universe dies with me
Let's try that, for the lulz
>>
She was 14
>>
Life is shit and unfair (In B4 not a secret) in the past 3 years I've lost both grandads, the only dad I've ever known (step dad) and my brother to cancer and I'm absolutely shit scared that I'll end up dying before my time.
>>
I try to pretend every day that I am not a racist, but I know I am, and don't like it.
>>
>>683075478
That would be unpleasant for me. It's be great if I were just about to come, but the blood starts drying fast and gets kind of sticky and makes a nasty sensation. I just prefer the smell/taste.

kek'd imagining murder face.
>>
>>683075593
same
>>
i cant be trusted with secrets :c
>>
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>>683075727
>>
Sold my car after fixing it up, I think I was in an accident. I confirmed it wasnt aninal blood from the iron content. Every fucking day for the past 2 years I watch the news to see if anything comes up on my route
>>
I was the one that stole the debit card of roommate A. Let roommate B take the blame.

Not really. I'm roommate C. Went off on roommate A for stealing my card and went off on him. Still feel bad about.
>>
>>683074761
At least you're not going to sell to defence contractors, that's good.
>>
im running out of made up secrets to tell.

>only secret that isnt a secret.
>or is it?
>>
>>683075821
race is a construct of identidy, an appendage, trust your self trust your soul, race isnt real, were all inbred, we all love you
>>
I Cheated on my ex gf with a cheap old russian whore. Probably got some std's too
>>
I sell expired foods at my store..
>>
I gave money to my ex's bestfriend in exchange for passwords and screenshots so I can blackmail her. The lad ended up buying drugs and ended up dead the next day from overdosing. I didn't get what I wanted.
>>
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>>683074731
You are the most original center of the universe ever.
>>
>>683069801
i hate 4chan, i don't know why I keep coming back. Also feel as if this website is a breeding site for the agenda of some hidden organization or a place where fed go to sway public opinion. everything that is popular on 4chan becomes popular at some point in the future. fuckin fedfags
>>
>>683075829

BS. But reminds me that I once sold a car that had "problem", and did not tell the guy about it.
Moved for work a month later.
>>
>>683075813
I'm 34 and never had sex because afraid contraception will fail. I was born after my dad had a vasecomy 6 years before my conception. the doctor said his body reversed that shit. how the fuck? anyways. I'll never have sex I guess :(
>>
>>683075951
You must work for every corporate owned store in my city
>>
My names not really Adam
>>
I love you Jenny.
>>
>>683074731
why do you care if people ignore you? you are the eternal, everything else is just a passing phase. people can't ignore you forever, nothing lasts forever, not even the characteristics of this specific reality. dharmadhatu and all
>>
>>683076058
Small deli
>>
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>>683075911
>>
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>>683070152

Oh man, dude fucks everything.
>>
>>683076050
go balls deep i feel your logic should spawn
>>
Sometimes I spit in the food I serve, cause I hate my job and I dont wash my hands either throughout the day
>>
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>>683075754
Yeh she gets real wet as well so there's nothing really sticky. I don't even like the irony smell that much but her in that horny af state makes me diamonds.

No Ragrets
>>
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I used my ex gf as a fucktoy and abused her feelings, had anal almost everyday and bj every night before sleep.
I only cheated on her once tho.

I kinda regret braking up with her, shit was ez back then.
>>
>>683076173
deli life is the life... hows your antipasta ? do u add oil and viniger post or pre
>>
I have HIV.

On my days off of work I fuck random women without a condom. Silly girls, birth control pills don't protect against aids.
>>
>>683070403
then post her here. Duh? will cum buckets
>>
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68 74 74 70 3a 2f 2f 34 32 64 6f 63 74 6f 72 73 2e 73 74 72 61 6e 67 6c 65 64 2e 6e 65 74 0d 0a
>>
>>683069801
The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because there is that microscopic chance that the religious bs is real and eternal damnation sounds not cool
>>
my life seems to sucks, i dont have any secrates :S :S
>>
>>683076318
nig detected
>>
>>683076352
aint no one got time for hex
>>
>>683076379
It's all fake brother. Go into the void.
>>
>>683069801
I know the password to my sons phone, and I jerk off to his girlfriend
>>
>>683070753
Dude, join the club, don't feel bad about it
>>
>>683076472

the secret is that he knows that you do.
>>
my bf always jokes about how the dog wants to fuck me and he let him lick me once
the other day i let him give me a couple licks and i touched him inappropriately
i'm ashamed
>>
After my ex broke up with me in college, I was too chicken shit to post her nudes myself. So I just took the sd card to the student computer lab and left it on a table. The universe did its work from there.
>>
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>>683069801
>be me
>im autist
>>
>>683075709
You definitely will with that kind of family history. But hey I probably will do.
> inb4 years of mounting incurable depression
>>
>>683076379
think of it like this. Even if you don't kill yourself, you still might go to hell for not accepting (religion) into your heart fully.

you can't expect to masturbate and lust, lie, cheat and steal then think just by not killing yourself you're safe.
>>
>>683071079
>>683071201
Confirmed
>>
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>>683076300
>antipasta
>>
have a girlfriend but somtime i go to a gay sauna to suck dicks and get my ass fuck
>>
>>683070376
ah man people will always find a reason to treat you like shit, because most people are shitty. don't worry so much about such things
>>
Sold my car to an elderly couple a few months ago, lied to them the transmission was completely rebuilt. 07 accord had 197k miles. I think its dead now
>>
>>683070407
your tits big at least?
>>
>>683076379
death = going to sleep and never waking up
birth = waking up having never gone to sleep
is that not enough proof that there is no religious god? what about the fact that you are the only person that you know is real? haven't you always perceived the world as something outside, compared to yourself inside? if god is anywhere he is inside, not out in the world waiting to be heard/seen
>>
>>683070376
5'4 guy here. Stop being a pussy about it you little faggot.

As long as you carry yourself like a man no reasonable person is going to give you shit about your height. People that I've known for years are still somehow shocked when they hear the actual number, because even though I'm tiny they just don't think about it much because I don't act like some beta who lets my height bother me.

You're going to be a manlet your whole life. You're statistically going to make less money and be less attractive to women. Learn to deal with it and then move on.
>>
>>683075727
It's completely rational. You're brainwashed. Reject the conditioning and make up your mind based solely on evidence and reflection.
>>
>>683076708

nope....I already did the god thread earlier......
>>
>>683076680
im about to goto the deli and get a traditional bacon egg and cheese NYC LIFE
>>
>>683076555
Hawt!
>>
I'm a male stripper by night. Postal worker by day. I dont do it for the money, i just like the attention
>>
>>683076352

Ol√° :)
>>
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>>683076708
but m8 nothingness scares the hell out of me
we all have consciousness so what happens to our consciousness after we die?
>>
I just want to squeeze her meat.
>>
>>683070753
If they're all long distance, just stop contacting them, rinse and repeat with a new batch of bitches.
>>
In love with my girlfriends mom dont know what to fuckin do
>>
I have strange cyst problems on my scrotum and dick, when I squeeze them it makes a crunching sound and the white stuff pops out of it. It smells like parmesan cheese. I got no idea what the fuck it is.
>>
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>>683077109
>fuckin do
There you go
>>
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>>683076352

>blogspot
>mfw
>>
>>683072704
you need to fuck the rest of us to make amends
>>
>>683077206
wash ur dick bro
>>
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>>683077231
Nigger!
>>
>>683077328
I wash daily when I shower, can't be a hygiene issue
>>
>>683077206
Maybe it actually is parmesan cheese. Try it!
>>
>>683077430
nigga go see a doctor than
like how hard is it to do basic shit like go to a doctor
>>
>>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fordyce_spots
>>
>>683074731
fully sick perception of reality bro give us a heads up before we go i've always wanted to take a selfie at the big bang
>>
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>>683074195
If you claim to be fem and it is impt to the story (see pic) them's the fucking rules.

>>MODS
>>
>>683077489
doctors are expensive perverts, they just look at my dick, prescribe anti-biotics that don't work, have me come back, grope me some more, prescribe steroids that don't work, have me come back, grope me, prescribe hot water and daily massage. doctors are fucking stupid and take my money more than a dirty prostitute would do.
>>
>>683077489
Not that anon but can be fucking hard, I had a heart attack once because I didn't go to a doc
>>
>>683069801
8 females in my work place, I've fucked them all but they don't know that.
>>
>>683075366
Maybe. Doesn't matter though.
>>683075584
I make shit up on daily basis.
>>
>>683077798
Uh, did you roofie them?
>>
I'm fucking my best friends girlfriend.
>>
my secret: I have honestly come to the conclusion that Republicans are very bad people. I can't stand them down to their very core. It bothers me to hate people this much, or to hate them at all, but I really feel they are horrible people to the fiber of their cores.
>>
>>683078085
tell him with love in your heart, things will work out and you may have new experiences
>>
>>683078172
that's edgy as fuck!
>>
>>683078152
Not a secret since you're right anon
>>
>>683078172
Careful now
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