ITT: we find out who's the most screwed up human.
>drug addiction: Y/N
>no license, education past highschool
>lives with parents
>gf thinks I"m god
>even she's ahead with her shitty job
>unemployed for 3 years
>don't collect welfare because of shame
>depression, just spent 5 days in psych ward
>fucked up knee from bar fight, currently have a fractured left foot from drunken bender
Killed a few hajis in Afganistan, I won't say I have PTSD because I don't but I have had trouble back in civilian life.
at least you'd feel shame for collecting welfare. Too many people view it as a right or entitlement. I cry for what our society's going to become. Pic related
>minor depression and anxiety sometimes but learned how to overcome it and get past it
do all trans people have disorders? It makes me wonder whether disorders are the cause of trans or whether society's rejection of you is the cause. Or maybe both? I'm not making fun of you. Just an honest question
I ain't gonna win, but I'll boot any way.
> Doctors can't decide between depression, borderline, bipolar, avoidant, ADD, anxiety. But basically the idea of human interaction bugs me so much that I hardly even want sex cos that means dealing with another person. That and the anger and hate I have for myself is so strong that despite wanting to an hero, I feel it would be an act of self love that I do not deserve.
> None really, besides being fat (350lbs) but I'm still mobile
> I think I'm one of those freaks who doesn't experience addiction. I want to test it on harder drugs though.
PTSD panic attacks depression
MVA collapsed five of my discs l1 l2 l3 has stenosis l4 l5s1 I'm leaking spinal fluid some days I can't wear socks or pants due to pressure bruising around swollen joints.
I have been on schedule 2 painkillers for ten years I will never drive due to epilepsy and I have never had my license just an unlucky passenger in five car accidents. Last car accident we hit a patch of ice and spun out from one side to the ditch on the other missing a tractor trailer and ending up half on a snowbank and half on ice I dug for an hour before help came. The following week I was hospitalized because my spine was so swollen my knees wouldn't bend
A majority of people don't end up being addicts. I think it's because as humans we need something to latch on to and connect with. When we don't have enough (varies for each person) social interaction and stimulation in our lives we find something else to occupy our minds. I had minor alcoholism for a week or so when I went from busy with tons of friends to absolutely nothing in my life. Kicked it when life quickly picked up again. I wasn't celebrating or anything. I just needed some kind of stimulation to break the monotony
im kind of like this guy
or actually never mind, but i have depression probably
>no driving license
>got a job
>no dropout but actually i might as well be
i keep contact with no one, and wow actually , coincidence but the "10 year reunion" is right this day 2016.05.07.-- i wont go
>it would feel awkward, nothing to talk about, etc, anxious
>i guess i could have done better in school
>no further education [i guess i could someday]
>live with mother [altho i pay 80% of the stuff]
>depression, anxiety? im not diagnosed, i was at the psychiatry a few times, but i dont feel like going back
>more like being anxious a lot of the time
>i got random mood swings, etc,etc,, i tried my moms anti-depressants, they did help somewhat
>well thats all i guess in general
I get that part for sure. Thing is my social dynamic hasn't really changed. I have certainly drank enough that I should be an alcoholic, but I have never felt that I need a drink or need a smoke. Hell the closest thing I have to an addiction may be videogames, but even then I wouldn't say I need game time.
I would recommend moving out of your mom's place and maybe to a new area. Jumping head first into something new has a tendency of kick starting healthy behaviors at least it does for me.
Spent 6 weeks in a psych ward last year
Diagnosed with treatment resistant major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, personality disorder with narcissistic and avoidant traits
No physical problems
Smoke weed, never drink
oh man, i get nervous thinking about that these autistic kiddos are the average trump supporter. Falling everything they’ve tried, blaming everyone but themselves, betas, sad betas.
My caloric intake is probably not the best, you're right, but it's all the times I don't eat that fuck with my metabolism. I lost a good chunk of weight doing a ketogenic diet with my former roomie and I ate WAY more fuckin food than I do now. If anything it is my laziness and possibly depression. The most I move is during my job in retail and even then some days it is hard for me to want to move. The classic motivation destroyed and all that fun shit with depression.
hmmm ye i think about stuff like that
like i thought about going to that "high-school reunion"
like ooh yee this will be the turning point in my life [like in the movies] nooow everything gona change, now i gona confront that bully, talk to that girl, etc etc
but a more realistic scenario would probably look like something like, go there, awkward handshakes, feel out of place as fuck, stay there a little, go away silently, then every would just wonder what the fuck that guy was doing here..
or something, what makes it worse, is its not even the whole year from 10 years ago, just a class, that is 23 ppl,, cant even just get into the crowd,, cause there is none...
if i would have a few guys there sure,, but no
, actually i didnt even talk to any of them in that 10 years ,, literally
and i dont feel like i had much to talk about, tons of bad stuff happend between that 10 year, i guess wouldnt be that interested in that, huge debt after father died ..blabla
the good thing is im not the only one, who dont go,, so its less lame...pffuhh
>used to be addicted to crack, now just weed and sex
>been responsible for 4 abortions
>work full time as a carer
>pimped exgf out as prostitute to pay for crack
>eventually got bored, quit it but she wouldn't so I ditched her and cut off support. She's probably dead now.
>I'm probably a bad person but I try to be decent now
>not sure, but i get depress pretty easily
>N other addiction though
I'm finding myself hard to make friends in school. Never feel like going out ro make friends. Met this girl who approach me first and now she is the one who im talking to the most. Confessed to her, but i suspect that the reason i like her is because she is the only choice i got. If that so i think i should leave her...
>in the last two years, my wife has gone from someone who'd get well received in a chubby thread, to ultra fat and uses a scooter to get around. It's only going to get worse because she has basically given up on walking anywhere, even though she can for the moment
>can't stand alcohol, it's the main reason for the above problem
Yeah I understand. The problem is though I get too used to my current situation and slip down into a comfortable spot that breeds sluggishness. I was talking to a professor about jumping on a plane in one month to go to Nepal to work on their irrigation and building codes. I'd actually be useful and it's been a while since I've done anything uncomfortable. I'll have to settle for an internship but it's boring as fuck manufacturing one. I have to take the behavioral improvement thing seriously because it's the only thing that keeps me from slipping into depression and that hole can go way too deep.
I know it goes against your impulsive self serving nature but playing by society's expectations is the easier road to take. Just take a moment next time to analyze the outcomes and consequences of your decisions and and assess whether you'll realistically come out ahead.
God I wish we had as good of a system. Americunt here. If the damn Republican party didn't have such a hate boner for Obama, the ACA (or 'Obamacare' to cretins) would have been comparable. Instead we get all the fines for not having insurance while you have to pay $130 a month for a plan that has a $6350ish deductible.
you might want to consider a divorce. your life will only get worse and she's the reason for it. You make take a bullet for her but in this case she's the one pulling the trigger. Give her an ultimatum. Tell her you want a certain quality of life and that she's not helping achieve that. She's just dragging you down.
No fuckin shit. I refused insurance this year cos the fine is HALF of the cost of the premium alone. However, I am a temp at a liquor store in Idaho, and being a controlled state, means it is a government job. Hopefully within two weeks I will be a permanent employee with access to fucking sweet state benefits.
ye, i was thinking about voluntary work as well
i get that sluggishness, getting to comfortable..
i dunno, its not even i was bullied that much [well i was in grade school, but not so much in high]
more like i was just there, like there are that 31 ppl and me, of course,, i was not the most popular obviously
i just feel like,, life back then could have been better, might be in another school, fuck should i know,, but to late for that anyway,
going back now acting like we are so cool friends seems pretty lame,
and as i mentioned being anxious/depressed,, well yea,, i kinda am about that whole reunion, well not so much since im not going but thinking about going there , yea
but actually i kind of feel , a little bit, that this reunion will be a good closure for me,, i wont go, they go,, great, we are seperate now, i can start from scratch
i dont even hate them, i just dont like the fact i made no friends there, its not even specific ppl, just in general,, i dont even hate them [well some of them i do]
maybe i just write a message like : sorry i cant be there, whish you all well blablabla.. or something
well anyway, i gota go now, soo this thread will 404 before i get back 100%
but it was nice to talk about that,, i wanted to talk about that reunion , and then that thread came along, so ye,,
Yes good. Look up to our supreme perfect Europe where everything is indeed perfect. For me: I pay 130 euro a month healthcare. And that's it. It's done! Everything gets arranged when I have a problems. Pills, ambulance, everything. I will never ever see a bill.
God bless Europe (and he probably doomed USA)
>alcoholic and weed dependent but N for actual drug addiction
I have a masters degree and several really good friends including some beautiful chicks but I'm a pretty fucked up dude nonetheless, just gotta keep it rolling.
Well from a tax payer's perspective I don't see why I owe you anything. You also don't deserve anything. The same goes for me. You get what you can earn and no one's obligated to keep your bitch ass alive.
>depression, generalized anxiety disorder, depersonalization disorder
>None but my right arm's kinda fucky after a bad break
I very frequently in the past would use drugs to mask the symptoms of the aforementioned mental illnesses. I still do, but it's much less frequent now, though the trend is on the rise with stress building. Working full time and going to school sucks.
Well how it was originally proposed (and had been proposed for about 40 fucking years) was modeled after how Germany does it cos the Americunts were clamouring for it. It would have been passed in Nixon's time (70s I think) if it hadn't been for the Watergate scandal that prompted him to resign.
When it was signed in to US law in rhe mid 2000s, it was still the same, but Republicans wanted all these changes to it, pretty much to make it terrible and make Obama look terrible for passing it. So after a shit tonne of argument, the ACA got slowly revised in to this utter piece of shit that now fines us for not having coverage while making the costs so fucking expensive that you practically need government assistance to afford it. It doesn't help that the government doesn't control the cost of healthcare premiums. It's a bloody mess.
Side note: I prefer Commonwealth spelling in case you're wondering about my word choice
If she's good for you....stay. If you're good for her....she will too.
Take a fucking shot at happiness...even if she's the only shot....she's a shot.
Maybe she'll un-fuck your life
Maybe she won't.
But you'll never know if you don't try.
Stop being a faggot and try.
Try to make yourself happy. You can't expect happiness to come from anyone else but yourself....be the person you want to be, and the right person for you will come along. You will know. Even if isn't until 6 months after you meet them....you'll know.
Yes.... It takes time. It takes a commitment. It's hard. Suck it the fuck up, and deal with it. Everyone else does.
Now.....go be the best you can be....and suck it the fuck up.
If you happen across somebody that can live with who you are....who you decide to be....great. Otherwise......live for yourself, be who you want to be, do what you want to do, and happiness will come.
schizoid, depression, social anxiety, insomnia, paranoia
none incapacitating me
addicted to tramadol and xanax
do what you will.
I don't necessarily hate myself, but I want to protect myself from the absurdity of life and the actions that happens around me. I am isolating myself because I don't see the point, the pain won't go away. It's unfair of me to expect plessure or even happiness, because nobody will always be in plessure, or even happy. Life is pain, so I have made myself sadistic to enjoy the absurdity.
47 years young
severe tourrettes, bi polar, depressed,
torn sholder ligament, cant lift my right hand above my chest, ski accident
errectile disfunction, incontinence
i do lots and lots of coke, and drink, every night, and smoke pot, and take pain pills, lsd once a month,
but i found a nice young girl to stick with me, going to try getting married for the 6th time
If I were a more useful person period, I would consider emigrating to the UK. But unlike most Americunts I know that being an Americunt is a disadvantage when trying to move elsewhere.
Lol USA anti tax fag. I love tax! At least our government is efficient with its resources. Alot things are free. Our road is the #2 best in the world. I never see holes in our roads. Healthcare it good. Schools are for every person from poor to rich. Yes here you see children becoming highly educated who come from a super poor family. It's normal. Here your qualities matter how far u will get. Not money like USA fags.
Nigger step off. The amount of our tax dollars that actually go to the strawman you're trying to draw is less than a penny per taxpayer. Go suck Ayn Rand's libertarian clit. Oh wait, she was on SSI. You don't owe me roads, but I'm still driving on the ones paid by our taxes.
I was the same guy to quote out the other 15 year old.
I also have assburgers.
Fuck you, newfag, that's not stolen. You just suck at timing a post, or scriptfagging, or whatever the fuck it is you did to think you deserved those fucking quads.
tldr; you're a faggot, fuck you on every level, gtfo my /b
Major depression (Diagnosed)
Adult adhd (Diagnosed)
Paranoid (seriously an issue with me but won't talk to doctor because I'm afraid I'll be locked up)
Aspergers (mild self diagnosed, could never look anyone in the eyes, even now it's hard)
Compressed disks in lower back L3-6 causes most activities to be excruciating, which led to
Mild phimosis (if I use lube doesn't matter)
Only in America. There's a line from Team America: World Police that exemplifies the retardedness of our country:
> how many times is America going to make the same mistake?
> As many times as it takes.
I'm petty much stay alone and talk a lot less to anyone. I've stated talking to my old friends again after I've been talking to that girl everyday for almost two months. I get depress when she doesn't talk to me, but it always ended up talking to me and it's like a dooze of drug that makes me happy again. I'm afraid that I'll be a control freak if we into a romantic relationship.
Trying to see a threapist soon.
It getting on my nerves that i got two individual presentation next week
>Nobody cared enough to actually get me diagnosed (including myself)
>Leg healed crooked from abuse as a kid and back fucked up from a car wreck last year
>Haven't even bother trying anything, because I know I'm the kind of guy to get addicted right away.
>ADHD (Only just found out and feel fucking useless now)
>Congenital heart disease also had a TIA (ministroke) last year
>Nope, but I smoke a lot of pot.
>Pretty sure I'm going to fail my degree
>Never had a job
>Only thing I'm good at is sex but I sometimes jerk myself so much that I have no energy
That's...really...horrible...not sure how you got her, but at least for mine, she agrees that communication and honestly is the most important thing in any relationship. And yes we did talk about this kind of stuff, but not as in depth as i wanted, still working on that. I hate shallow talks
I just think very little of myself. I'm not smart, or funny, or helpful, I'm just a waste of space who nobody should bother caring for.
The only time I'm worth something is when I work.
But I don't like when other people think like that, so I'll tell you that you are always worth something to somebody, and losing you would always hurt someone:
Bipolar/ depression/ boarder line personality disorder
Got stabbed so cannot lift anything over 20 pounds
Heavy heroin and cocaine user. K2 also
We had deep conversations and the like, I had been there for her but when I really needed her she basically just left. Forced me to work on myself, and not to outsource my self-worth. You should try that too, anon.
Well, buddy, you are worth something to somebody.
Maybe not to me, or anybody else in this thread ...but perhaps you have a special lady that cares for you....some kids....hell, maybe a brother or sister, or a good friend. I guarantee...somebody, somewhere out there cares about you. Even if you haven't met them yet.
Ya im working on that too. They said how you are will attract the person similar to you. I did suspect that she might be similar to me in the bad way. This is why im hesitant to continue pursuing the relationship (or i have no idea how to besides asking her out, taking her to a dinner)
Depression, severe OCD
Nothing major. Some pretty severe arthritis.
>>drug addiction: Y/N
Spent 10+ years in the bottle. To the point that if I didn't drink I had vivid, horrifying hallucinogens and lost complete grip on reality
ive got everything i want, i have a house to live in, i live on my own, i have a car, im healthy, i have hobbies, i enjoy just spending time alone, i have few but good friends, i really could be doing worse!
Getting ready for the replies...
>non diagnosed except maybe anxiety since I got benzos before for sleep, questioned if I had depression but I didn't think so. Might be bipolar
>physical disabilities none I'm a bodybuilder
>drug addictions: was addicted to weed since 16-20 cut that shit out to do better in eng school. Now I'm addicted to Xanax and I take adderal from time to time.
> I find I like Xanax for the medicinal affect I don't binge them rather take small doses... I love the relief. Is definitely have some kind of anxiety disorder from accutane, my dogs death , my best friends death, school engineering. And my gf of 3 years cheated then left me
And why does this matter so much to you? Literally anybody can get diagnosed with ADHD. There's still a chance you might not have ADHD.
But seriously, why does maybe having ADHD bother you so much? It's not like they said "Well time to pack up your future, you're retarded anon"
ocd and anxiety disorder
disabled due to above, working on getting better slowly
liver is fucking hurting now a lot because i drank to much TO ANY OTHER BTARDS YOU HAVE TO REDUCE YOUR DRINKING A LOT AND GET OTHER HOBBYS LIKE WALKING BEFORE ITS TO LATE also addicted to weed
I'm sure some comedian already made a "worst" joke post, but this is me:
>extreme shyness, agoraphobia, etc
>fat, low test
>live in parents basement, unfinished and very dirty
>parents hate me and are disgusted by me, but they know I can't survive on my own
>jobless, HS dropout, only had a few min wage jobs before and they never last
I don't have any real mental problems, but lots of small health and personality issues, such as:
>stutter, not too bad but always at the most awkward time
>introverted, shut-in, agoraphobe, can't make eye contact, extremely self-conscious, blush at everything
>only leave the house every few months when parents drag me out, always embarrassing
>fat, rolly blubbery fat, not built-fat or husky like most big guys
>face is always red/blushing looking, and I bruise very easily
>gyno and all that comes with it, high pitched voice, tits, no chin, no body hair
>very odd weight distribution, my hips are wide but thighs rub together
>small hands and feet, jiggly arms with no muscle underneath
>penis is 5 inches but very thin, balls are tiny and never fully dropped so they don't hang
>have trouble staying erect due to small girth
>always feel sad when masturbating and even worse after, only do it out of habit and to kill hornyness
>growing list of sick fetishes
>parents stopped trying to encourage or help me years ago
>live like an animal in the basement
>scared and intimidated by everything
400 a month for inclusive apt, cable, wifi, how can you not live alone,
>Schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, possible ADD
>Bulging disks in back, degenerative disk disease, very bad eye sight, weak bones
I'm this guy;>>683062222
You are not the diagnosis. I use my 'disorder' to explore philosophical questions. My point is this: you are given these sets of tools, somebody will have an other set of tools. The world is unfair, and most people just see this, and give up, not knowing that they have a better shot than most people. You have to find out how you can use your unique set of tools to your advantage
> Have Waifu
> No physical disabilities
> No drug addiction
My story of my waifu
Because ive realised its in every single thing and thought I have. Last night I tried to go to sleep at 11 because I have an assessment that I haven't prepared for at all because I don't have the concentration...anyway, I wanted to sleep at 11 but instead stayed up till two smoking and imagining I was talking ( talking out loud to myself in my back garden) to my lecturer about how I have ADHD and how it's affected all the work I've ever done. If only I'd been diagnosed early I could've had help (I'm in my third year and all my work is handed in this Thursday). So I was sat outside talking to myself about how severe my adhd is whilst pretending to have a conversation that I know will never happen AND STILL I became distracted from that and couldn't concentrate because I noted that in every seven rows of bricks in my garden wall the pattern changes. I couldn't even fucking focus on a distraction that I had created in my own head how the fuck am I supposed to have a long lasting relationship, or job, or pay my fucking taxes, or do anything? I know that this is just a rambling now but I don't really know how to end it. Everyone I know just thinks I'm lazy but I am really not its just that I can't finish anything fucking hell. I mean it's kind of funny but not for my whole adult life.
>High functioning autism, social anxiety, depression, bipolar, OCD, dyslexia, and my sexuality is so fucked I don't even know what mess of disorders I have in that department.
>Fucked up neck due to an old injury, super skinny and can't gain weight or muscle, physical coordination and sense of balance fucked up because of the autism.
>Never touched alcohol, drugs, or cigs. Don't even use legal OTC drugs. Staying un-medicated is one of my OCD obsessions.
There was a time I didn't believe that statement either....and I gave up, I stopped giving a fuck. About everything, everyone. Even /b/. But shit turned out alright for me. I've got a woman that cares for me more than I could hope to imagine. I make a decent amount of money, doing a job I don't terribly mind. I don't have any degrees, no formal training (other than Killing people, I was in the army for four years) and now I do something extremely mundane, but I make a living, and I've managed to connect with some one, I never even saw it coming. It just happened, entirely out of the blue one day.
Have some faith.
More importantly....live to make you happy, don't live for anyone else. Because at the end of the day....at least you're happy....and the right people will be attracted to you because of that.
I get your argument and I mean I say it to my friend a lot ( recently just left a physiatric ward for trying to kill herself, BPD) but I can never focus on anything long enough to explore it throughly enough.
> borderline personality disorder
> epilepsy - partially triggered by the medication I take for the above
I've stolen panties from a grocery store, shat myself while wearing them, then grabbed a glob of shit from the panties and started jerking off with it.
>Physically perfect; 20/10 vision, perfect hearing, 6'2", god metabolism, above average intelligence
>Feel like something might be fucked up mentally, but not sure. Never tried to get checked out.
I have zero motivation for anything at all. In short, I'm a real lazy fucker averse to actually putting work and effort into things. College dropout, working a shitty restaurant job for years, and who knows when or if it will change. This is despite being born an upper-middle class white male with all the above advantages. I've always told myself that this is just me being a shitty person, and I just need to snap out of it, bear down and do the things I need to do. I've always wanted to change and better myself for basically as long as I lived, but don't have the willpower to actually manifest those desires. Now I wonder if I really am a shitty person or if there is actually something wrong with me. But it very may well be that I'm just a squandered waste of potential.
I do have something that causes me to physically NEED to be moving at all times. Since I do it during literally all my waking hours I normally forget it's even a thing I do until someone points it out. When I stand it manifests itself by swaying side to side. When sitting, rocking back and forth. When laying down, constantly moving my leg. Once it's been brought to my attention I can change it to something else if it is bothering someone, but I can't be still for any period of time. The best I can relate it to is breathing. You don't know you're doing it, until someone brings it to your attention, and then you can control it. But you can't stop. You can hold it for a few seconds but that's it. I've been told that when in bed, I continue to constantly move until the moment I pass out. Trying to be still for more than a few seconds causes extreme anxiety and stress. This is a small thing that doesn't affect my daily life at all, but it does hint that there may be something going on upstairs.
I think you're just thinking way too into this. I can't stay focused for shit, but that's okay because most other people can't. Ever tried meditating? The act of staying focused on one thing and only that 1 thing for even 15 seconds is fucking hard, and buddhists call it monkey mind, and everyone has it; maybe you're just picking up on that?
Plus you gotta consider the fact that you were high for a while. You sound condescending towards yourself, have you ever considered that maybe you're depressed? Sounds like part of you was "relieved" that you were diagnosed with ADHD, because now you can take some of the burden of blame off yourself and shove it into this ADHD corner.
The thing is I already have the things that should make me happy. I'm married to someone who cares about me so much, I have a job that I love doing.
But when I'm by myself and I look in the mirror I see someone who isn't worth anything, who's just a inconvenience.
I have a spouse and friends and everything a normal person should have, and I still feel like nothing.
Oh yeah I've considered I am depressed. I thought I had bipolar disorder for a large part of my life but was never diagnosed.
You're probably right, I've read about monkey mind. I have tried meditating but holy fuck hahaha.
>do all trans people have disorders?
Lol, being "trans" is a disorder. Being homosexual is one thing, thinking your a woman in a dude's body is a completely different thing.
<---- Do you think this is normal?
I know that feel. I look better on paper... I have a min-wage part-time job, and I'm skinny.
But I only have the job because I'm so terrified of criticism that working a job that makes me pray for death is the lesser of two evils.
And I'm only skinny because my depression makes me lose my appetite so I don't eat enough. I'm underweight and tired all the time because of my poor diet.
But like you, I live with my parents in a dilapidated room, I have no friends at all, never leave the house except for work, and have crippling shyness and anxiety problems. I have the squeaky faggot voice, which is all fucked up and awkward sounding. I speak only when necessary at work. Everyone there thinks I'm some kind of mysterious badass because I'm a decent actor and can hide my anxiety pretty well. If only they knew how utterly pathetic I am when I get home...
And yeah... the poor hygiene, the sick fetishes, the parents who gave up on me long ago... I know those feels, man.
Wish I could give you some helpful advice but... I'm in the same boat. Seems like some of us just don't belong in this world.
It's just a feeling. I've always had pretty low self esteem, so I never think highly of myself.
I assume my spouse only married me for the benefits, that my friends only pretend to like me.
And it's all for a reason, so there's the guilt of feeling badly for no reason.
Have you ever considered going to a therapist? The underlying depression is going to cripple you much more than the ADHD diagnosis ever could. It's the only thing that's consistently helped me, more than drugs ever did, regardless if from a doctor or on the street. It's cheap if you have insurance, but even if you don't and it's a tad expensive, it's still worth it. Like another anon said earlier, you're given a certain set of tools that nobody else has; think of therapy as picking up another set of tools that you can use for the rest of your life.
>47 years young
>severe tourrettes, bi polar, depressed,
>torn sholder ligament, cant lift my right hand above my chest, ski accident
>errectile disfunction, incontinence
>i do lots and lots of coke, and drink, every night, and smoke pot, and take pain pills, lsd once a month,
>but i found a nice young girl to stick with me, going to try getting married for the 6th time
You should add that you are lightly radioactively contaminated.
There are people who care about the person I pretend to be in order to please them, but nobody has ever met the real me. And nobody can, because I can't be myself in the presence of others. So yeah... I am truly unloved, even though it doesn't look like it.
...and being loved for your fake smile and fake kindness is even more painful than being hated...
I think a therapist would be a good idea but I hate talking to people face to face about mental health.
It's that age old thing of if its physical they can see the problem and see it healing. If it's mental they can't see it and they can't see it healing, you have to tell them if you think it is and you're obviously not the best judge on your mental health.
AHHH I don't know man fuck haha.
The things that 'should make you happy' aren't always the things the 'do make you happy'.
Live for yourself. Not for who you were 'raised to be'. Not who your parents told you you should be. Not who society tells you you should be.
Monogomy doesn't work for you. The 'perfect' two and half child suburban family doesnt work for you.
So go find what does. Find a hobby. Play sports with friends. Go to gym, workout, get fit. Fuck, take cock in the ass for all I care.
Happiness comes from within. So do what you want, when you want, and I ou will feel that you're living a full life....even if it doesn't go along with what you 'should do'.
Why don't you make it your life mission to get fit? Use your self-hatred to fuel your gains like everyone on /fit/ does. Sounds like you're at rock bottom, so anywhere is going to be better than where you are right now.
It's not really a matter of what should make me happy, I've always embraced just what does.
My spouse is the closest person to my heart, I need them in my life to feel even remotely capable of anything.
Monogamy is fine with me, I don't want anyone else to come remotely close to me.
I'm trying to explore hobbies, I've lost 25lbs and that's starting to make me feel batter about myself,
I know you're supposed to create your own happiness, but it's hard when you feel like you don't really matter.
I can't upload a certain picture.
What is this ? It says upload failed
Here is a screenshot of the picture
That's why it's common for therapists to ask for a thought journal. Kind of like freewriting, you just write down everything you're feeling at a particular moment. What kind of thoughts that are going through your head; trying to get out as much raw data that you can. Then they'll usually read over it and help you work through difficult thoughts, try to find out why you're having these thoughts, offer strategies to help alleviate symptoms, etc. This is most common with cognitive-behavioral therapy. I think most therapists approach newcomers with the notion that they won't be as honest with themselves as they'd like, so they'll have to work through that. They can't do the work for you though; it's up to you to follow through.
and positive self talk, you think of yourself as autistic? lol
>living in this day and age and not having an accute understanding of historism, irony, sarcasm, the arts
>using psychological instutionalised terms yet not having a fundamental basis and foundational understanding in philosophy
Who fucking cares if people hate you, if you're happy, doing what you want, saying what you want, when you want?
I was like you, once, and I stopped giving a fuck what others thought. I started living for me. I started getting drunk when I wanted to get drunk. I started hurting people when I wanted to hurt people.
Yeah....people hated me. Alot of people. But I don't give a fuck, because I do what I want, and I'm happy for that very reason. If people don't like that....no ones forcing them to stay around. If people do like that...they will. I live for me, and I'm perfectly content with my life.
Is it perfect? No.
Do i make a billion dollars a year? No.
Am I a nice person with lots of friends? Not even close.
But I live for me, and I'm okay with me. I'm entirely fine being who I am.
Who you want to be, is who you need to become...and you can be whoever you want. It may take some work...some getting used to. It may take some time before you find the right person to put up with that....but they will come.
Make yourself happy. And then worry about everyone, and everything else. It will all fall into place.
I'm a professional tailer and I wanted to ask guys what kind of fabric this is, and it failed to upload the picture until I made a screenshot. And I wondered how is that possible to not be able to upload a picture.
Also people see what they wnt to see. I chiefly see here a girl and beautiful dress, why would you ask ?
I think you're right, I can't talk anymore as I have to go an do a uni assessment now, however I am going to talk to my tutor and then try to arrange meeting a therapist after this week is up. I just hope I fucking remember haha.
Whoever you are and wherever you are thank you for talking to me you've actually calmed me down a lot. You are the best anon I have spoken to.
Drastically improving your life through harnessing how much you loathe catching yourself in the mirror is far preferable to sitting around looking for some nebulous "purpose". life.
I'm not that guy but...
Obviously you've never truly hated yourself before. Self hatred can't fuel anything except the desire to sit absolutely still and remain as close to dead as you can get while still stuck here in life.
To get better, you have to find something to love, even if it's gay as fuck. You have to find something you give enough shits about that you'll lift your body, which feels like it weighs 100 tons, out of that chair in order to go do that thing.
For me it's nature. I go for a walk in the woods every weekend so I can be one with the trees for a while. Faggoty as hell, but it's less faggoty than playing minecraft all day.
>Self hatred can't fuel anything except the desire to sit absolutely still and remain as close to dead as you can get while still stuck here in life.
Shit dude, I've come really close to self harming a few times and suicide was constantly on my mind ages 12-19, but I've never been in that deep. And now I'm pretty sure I have a good friend who is. Anon, I'm going to ask him if that's how he feels. Thanks.
Well...first of all, congrats on the weight loss. And second...
you've got a spouse? You think you don't matter to them? You do. If you didn't.....they wouldnt be your spouse.
You think you don't matter on this board? You do. I responded to you. And I have no idea who you are. I'm sure countless newfags aren't responding, but they're in the same boat as you...and you speaking out, made a difference. Hell....you stating how your life is poor, makes a difference to me.
And I don't mean this in a bad way...but it made me look at my life, and realize I really don't have it all that bad.
Not because I'm better off than you...but because of the very fact that we're so much alike. Really...think about it. You have the ability to be who you want to be. You get to use the internet, to communicate with people across the globe. I assume, that this means you also get to live a life where you get to eat every day, and have clean clothes , with a roof over your head.
Appreciate the small things. They're huge...even if they don't seem that way. I've visited places that don't have clean drinking water. Places that women can't legally drive. Places that people can't eat every day, places that people can't afford basic living. Places that people that build mud huts to live in on a dirt floor.
If you have kids, sure, they won't make you feel like you matter, because they don't understand the importance of all that, they won't appreciate it....nor do a vast majority of people in their adulthood. But you do matter. To every single person in your life. Even if it goes unsaid.
>undiagnosed, but fair chance I'm manic depressive and anorexic
>none, though being very underweight I'm not the most able bodied person
>just weed. It stops me from self harming. Probably would have killed myself at 23 if I didn't smoke weed.
>at least 5 doctors fighting over a psych dx
>fried prefrontal cortex, hereditary
>maybe pituitary gland lesion
>migraines, burn through rizatriptan like lithium burns in water
>used to smoke a pack a day, switched to vaping bc poorfag
>pot or codeine when I can afford it
>live alone, no parents
>stayed in school but that's about all I have going for me
not much to tell. I used to cut myself to deal with anxiety. About three years ago it was getting pretty bad (left arm still looks pretty messed up), and I realised I never cut when I'm stoned, so I decided to make sure I always had weed.
I still have the same problems though.
Break out of your daily routine. Do things you haven't done. Switch up your morning routine before work. Go out on a Friday night. Or, stay in instead of going out. Either way....switch things up. Find a hobby...something new to you. Break up the boring, regular routine you have. Go learn something, like a skill, or read a book, or do something productive like build something.
It doesn't matter....just do something you've never done. Spice your life up a bit.
The best analogy I have is when I'm having an anxiety attack it feels like drowning, and cutting feels like being able to breath.
But it loses it's effectiveness after a while.
Self diagnosed edgy faggots. You're not a sociopath cause you browse /b/.
>Failed Highschool so had to do a summer course to get into Uni. Failed half the subjects in first and second year, so if i pass all 7 courses this year and next year, i would get my degree that took 5 years, when it could've been done with 3 years full time study.