>be me last night >think about your life >think about why you're alone >why you don't have a gf >why you don't have a single friend in the world >it's because you hate people >you can't stand their presence >but also it get's hartder and harder to be alone >think about you never will be happy in life >hear a couple of people walking down the street having a good time >you will never be this happy >you would probably hate everyone of them >you hate people >you hate women >you even hate children >you realised that you became this kind of person you would have hated as a child >realize that you really hate yourself >you hate yourself so hard
I am an alcohol. I started drinking because I'm depressed, now I'm depressed because I can't stop drinking. I gained a shit ton of weight because I drink a pint+ of cheap vodka each night for the past 5 years. Girls have come and gone but most of them left me because of the drinking. I have no friends. Thanks Obama.
I dated this one chick a few years back who was only in it for the sex. Thanks to me being a combination of beta and oblivious at the time I had no idea. Yet to this day I want to go back just to say I did it. She has been receptive to the concept of the "friends with benefits" but I really just want to fuck her. She still runs through my mind and everytime I bash myself for it.
>you're angry all the time >you're angry at everything >you're angry at yourself because you can't figure out why you're so angry >you don't understand why you're angry so you blame everyone else >become bitter and twisted >you're angry all the time >you're angry at everything >you're angry at yourself because you can't figure out why you're so angry
>>683005829 All my feels. Lost the girl i loved for quite some years ago. Now I'm in a new relationship since nearly 3 years. Still this one girl, although she brought me to jail, I still think about her. Wondering what she is doing besides getting fucked. since 4-6 years no sign from her, not even facebook she got.
>be me 19 >university starting in a week >meet one really nice girl, lets call her "J" >she becomes my gf >8 months later >"I'm not feeling fine anon. I dont think I love you anymore" >"What, why J?" >"I dont know" >She left me for one of my friends >feelsreallyfuckinggood.jpg >become depressed again. >meet some girls but nothing important to mention >have few one nighters >still feel empty as shit >"Damn, how does some many friends of mine have so happy relationships?" >after some time have no real contact with girls anymore. >study becomes tougher but I still keep going.
Fast foward to now:
>be me 22 >have not fucked somebody for nearly 2 years >I dont care anymore >finally happy again >met one really fucking cool girl at a party, call her "L" >I can see she likes me >"hey whats your number" >we started an affair. >she is bisexual and now "discovering herself etc etc" >"hey anon, can I fuck [this girl]?" >yeah I dont care
Fast foward to today:
>I just heard that one of my good friends left her GF who was at that party too, call him "C" >"Hey anon, did you hear that L has now an affair with C?" >evening ruined.
I feel like fucking shit. Why is this bullshit always so cancerous??
I was finally happy, fucked a girl and now I burned my hand again.
>be a couple of nights ago >be me >lonely fag with no friends and high social anxiety >get notification on my phone >I got matched with girl I went to gradeschool with on tinder >she's pretty alright looking now >message her asking what she was doing on there >gives the bullshit about meeting new interesting people >asks me what I'm doing >say I'm at the bar with one of my friends >It's bullshit because I'm actually at home playing vidya while getting drunk >she tells me to come on over to the bar she's at >fuckyeah.jpg >on the way to the bar I tell myself it's going to be fine >meet up with her at bar >she's reading American Psycho >she's smoking the same cigs as me >she's really fucking witty >I try my best to be as interesting as I used to be before the heavy drinking and depression >thought it was working >She tells me she has to go because she has an exam next morning. >"Yeah I have to get to bed too. I've got a long day of work ahead of me." >bullshit >go home and go back on tinder >don't see her in matches anymore >she unmatched me >whelp, add that one to the list >continue on drinking >life is good
>All these faggots talking about women and exes and relationships and shit At least you're functioning, you twats. I swear to God some of you faggots have no idea how good you have it and just wallow in your own bullshit just so you can circlejerk with the other retards like you. "Cry cry cry, my girlfriend left me, boo hoo hoo my social life is shit."
>>683009260 >Not trying to be an asshole, but maybe you shouldn't pick up gfs at a bar, they tend to be slutty. true. but it wasn't a bar. She lives in the same flat share with one of my friends. It was a "house party"
>>683009260 >hobby This has to be the most 1950's out of touch way people think you would actually find a girl or even a friend. Unless you live in a metropolis this will never work. Ever. Who the fuck goes out for their hobbies? Fucking nobody. You got bars and old man sports leagues. That's fucking it. Other than that you got to use online dating.
>>683009073 >Do the world a favor you oxygen thief and kill yourself. 4chan was never intended for you faggots, nor was the internet as a whole. Fuck off our site, faggot. >>683009260 >I'm sorry to say this, but if you're incapable of finding people that share your interests than it's nobodys fault but your own. >Implying everyone has the same objectives as you >Implying it is a matter of "interests" I'm not even saying nor have ever said anything about wanting a girlfriend or partner. What are you on about?
>22 yr old >Work at McDonald's for a living >Live in shitty apartment with extraordinarily late rent >Family cut me off since I'm an angry prick >No GF >Haven't talked to friends in ages >Coworkers are autistic douchebags Suicide would honestly be the best answer here but 4chan always gives me hope. Spamming loli threads, laughing at other anons writing dumb texts to relatives, Or just enjoying a feels thread like this makes me feel warm. I know deep down I'm far too deep in a rabbithole to redeem myself. What do you guys think? 4chan would probably be the only thing I'd miss.
>>683010013 I'm not /r9k/ material nor am I from /r9k/. I said "normalfaggots," not fucking "normies." I'm not joking; get the fuck off 4chan as it's not nor ever was for "normal" or "functioning" people.
>>683009306 Holy fuck that's depressing. And you just know he is posting that last part on facebook in hopes that someone will feel bad and at least talk to the poor fucker. I just had a birthday and luckily my work friends gave me well wishes. It's not the same as actual friends but I honestly felt alright that day.
>>683009490 Still, people tend to be waaay different around other people and the person you meet is never the person you'll discover later. Oh and alcohol will only make matters worse. Always.
>>683009818 >Maybe you should try it out, worked like a charm for me. But first you should stop hating yourself, because nobody likes people who hate themselfs. You don't even have to be honest about it. Just try to be as positive as you can, this will attract people and if you can't do that then you should probably seek help. Not even kidding.
>>683009900 Could you please, for once, not keep hating everything around you and try to be accessable when somebody gives you advice. Talk all you want, nobody can survive with 0 friends. Nobody. You know this, I know this, everybody in herer knows this.
>>683010329 >Could you please, for once, not keep hating everything around you and try to be accessable when somebody gives you advice. You didn't give "advice," you gave the same old assumptive platitudes that every other slightly normal well-adjusted individual gives.
>>683010412 >can't do that then you should probably seek help. Not even kidding. Thanks man. Although I made it sound more depressing than reality. I have a daughter so I went and visited her for a few hours on top of the well wishes. It was a good day.
>>683008908 you apparently have internet, therefore have a much higher standart than most people in the world. Sorry, but stuff like this is bullshit. Please stop comparing your problems with the ones of others. It doesn't matter how "big" a problem is, but how it affects someone. So when they feel bad for those in your eyes "minor" things, all what matters is that they do feel bad because of it.
And this comes from someone in a similar situation than you > 22 years old kissless virgin > currently fucking up college > Struggling with depressions, maybe some kind of social anxiety and some other shit for 7 years > Only people I have are my older sister and her bf, who live on the other side of the country and ultimately give a shit about me and how I feel, but at least I can play games with them...
>>683011021 What's you're fucking problem, anon? It's harming no one and it's an outlet for a lot of people. Yes, in reality, we all realise our problems aren't shit compared to kids in Ogaden or Gaza, and we're all pretty privileged fucks. We still have our problems that we'd like to talk about, though. Humans are complex beings. If you wanna have a go at any collection of pathetic faggots who wallow about their supposed lack of self-worth daily, go to /r9k/.
>>683010494 Then you should maybe assume that people do shit a little bit better than you and that's totally fine. If you haven't tried what every "normie" says than don't bitch about it not working. This comes across like a fat kid who doesn't want to go swimming because he's ashamed of his figure.
I'm giving you this "advice" right now: >If you want a girlfriend or good friends then YOU have to take the first step, because nobody else will. >Be as positive around people as you possibly can, you'd be suprised how they react, even if you have to fake it, DO IT. >Ask people questions and be interrested in them, ask them how they feel about certain events, about their family or literally ANYTHING. >But the most important thing is to DO SOMETHING. If you sit here hating everything NOTHING will change. DO SOMETHING.
>>683013064 Yeah, I read the whole fucking thing, and it pisses me off that people have come here only to complain and bitch at others because "muh sekret club is 4 edgy stuff only". Get fucked, you cold piece of shit. You people ruin these threads.
>>683012854 She moved to Arkansas 4 years ago. We always loved eachother. She called it being soul mates. I just knew I wanted to be with her. Despite moving and both of us getting gf/bf we still loved eachother. She broke it off with her bf around 6 months ago, around the time I got a good paying job. I told her I can afford to care for her. She said she'll move in after a trip to her country in Cambodia for her mother's wedding. She hasn't came back. She hasn't emailed me or kik back. Her last instagram post was the day she stopped replying.
>>683005572 >>683006027 I know these feels. Except for the women coming and going part. I have not had a date in almost 10 years. The worst part is that I quit drinking. Started eating healthy, lost 50 pounds, and got in shape. Decided to change my attitude, be positive, and turn things around.
But, two years later and I am still in the same position and alone. I don't think I come across as neckbeard or autistic. But, all I can think is that there must be something wrong with me. I was doing all right for a while. But, things have not improved and I have slowly settled back into depression. I tried. Now all I want to do is go back to drinking. I hate myself.
I don't even have the energy these days to meaningfully contribute to feels threads. I don't want to say I've given up, hoping that your answers are different from the answer I've been telling myself...but...well...
Random: here is a collage I made a while ago of the 4chan headers. no reason at all. :p
>>683015300 You just have to tell yourself that no matter how bad it is now, drinking will only make it worse. Unless you're content on you liver taking another beating and eventually failing. That's kind of where I'm at right now.
>>683008015 If you haven't learned that being sad makes you feel more alive then being happy I'm sorry for you. Once you get out of high school things change. Looking at sad things makes you appreciate the happy times much more. Once you realize that your whole life is built on sadness you will be back in these threads making yourself feel even worse so that your normal life doesn't seem so bad.
>>683003061 Moving to my summer dorm tomorrow. I guess that's okay. I just feel like shit because it's getting close to graduation, and I don't have shit going for me. Already gave mom her Mother's Day gifts....couldn't feel anything though.
>>683008908 Functioning in what sense? I have trouble relating to most anons here because I find some just plain whiny like when they complain how their one year relationship died or when gf/family were meanies to them. I am mentally ill and ive been unable to even hold conversations recently and i weird out people, i get to see others live normally while i barely improve... Point is they actually get to do shit and sometimes common stuff like breaking up happens and i cant really feel sorry for them if they get to experience things that I cant and they have minor setbacks.
if you really stopped caring you wouldn't feel so much like shit, my tip is you need to stop relying on other people to make you feel balanced, its unfair to the person and selfish of you to think that everyone's actions should somehow first concern your feelings.
you have so much potential and you're wasting it feeling sorry for yourself. also, alcohol is just adding fuel to the fire, i know it can be cathartic to wallow drunkenly in self pity but it's only going to prolong your shitty feelings and further prevent you from feeling a sense of inner peace again.
ok so I really need to get this off my chest. I have been dating this amazing woman for 8 months, she is sexy, successful, smart, and independent. Honestly everything that I look for in a woman. Well she left for Europe (6 month trip) where she will be traveling from country to country doing whatever she wants. I love her and I know she loves me. But I already know it is pointless trying to get her to remain faithful so we essentially broke up, not because we experienced trouble in our relationship, but because she is half way around the world. I cannot stop thinking about her, and every time I do I almost get sick. We both decided when (and if) she comes back that we could see if the connection is still there. We also said we can skype/message on fb while she is traveling. Essentially I could not go with her because I have a daughter and I need to stay close to her.
Keep in mind, I am not beta. I bartend at super upscale bars and I am surrounded by beautiful women all day/night. I could have sex every night with someone new.
I don't know, I feel like a pussy because I let this woman break my heart. Every time I think about her I experience intense emotional pain and physical discomfort. I am at a loss at what I should do. Essentially I am trying to forget about her, because I do not want 6 months of me being depressed and messaging her the same thing every day (I miss you, I love you)
>>683020958 >if you really stopped caring you wouldn't feel so much like shit, my tip is you need to stop relying on other people to make you feel balanced, its unfair to the person and selfish of you to think that everyone's actions should somehow first concern your feelings. >you have so much potential and you're wasting it feeling sorry for yourself. also, alcohol is just adding fuel to the fire, i know it can be cathartic to wallow drunkenly in self pity but it's only going to prolong your shitty feelings and further prevent you from feeling a sense of inner peace again.
that's true... it's just that I always try to keep people happy but I often feel lost on the track or something like that. But still, I accept your point. It's true
Btw. That song is fucking strange but still good somehow
My roommate just left for the night so I don't even have her to hang out with. And naturally, she reminded me she did laundry today so don't even bother sniffing her underwear because I won't get anything out of it. She says it half joking. She, essentially my best friend, knows I'm a pathetic loser with nothing better to do with my friday night than sniff her thongs. At least she's not creeped out by that fact. I don't know why. I'm creeped out by it. No friends, no girlfriend, no fuckbuddies. Oh well, I guess I can always just fuck myself with her vibrator.
>>683003061 I directly relate to this picture as a middle aged man with a wife and kid and good job and house and truck and I just wanna eat this fucking Glock but if I do that I won't get to come here and tell kids how stupid they are for voting to give away every good thing they have so that Jamal can flunk out college after their first semester because their mixtape is fire AF yo.
>>683032015 Anon, Idk if if anyone screencapped it or anything but cooper was my dog,I’ll just post my original text: so this is the story of my dog cooper, a fantastic dog that passed long before he deserved. >23 years old i decide to buy a dog >decide on a golden retriever and go to a breeder >all the puppys seem generic >except one >one was unable to use his back legs and kind of “swam” to move around >his legs functioned he just hadn’t learned to use them yet >I want to be the one to help this dog >best personality imaginable >never hyper just wanted to be pet >he didn’t like fetch, he liked catch >We called him cooper ellsbury (redsox fan) >he just liked to hold his tennis ball and would sleep with them >at family parties when all the dogs are together being loud and getting into trouble cooper just relaxes and looks for love >4 years go by and I could not ask for a better dog >he’s acting weird and not eating so i bring him to the vet >cancer >has 3 tumors >procedure costs $3000 > i don’t hesitate and pay the bill and pray he comes out healthy >cooper takes well to the surgery and as usual is very relaxed to the vet >healthy for a year >age 5 cooper has more tumors .
>>683033248 >$5000 in total bills and I don’t hesitate >tumors are removed and I am just happy to spend another minute with my best friend >he never fully heals, periodically more tumors appear and I pay whatever the price >age 6 cooper has fallen into a very unhealthy state >$14000 in total vet bills was really adding up and I couldn’t afford any more >I have to put my best friend to sleep >at 6 years old I had to kill him >shaved patches all over him from surgerys and shots >shaved him to look like a lion >he fucking fought, he was the epitome of a dog >I watch as the doctor puts him to sleep >have to bury him >bury him with his tennis balls >I’m sorry cooper i wish I could afford the procedures more… >i miss you and hope there is some sort of after life because you fucking deserve it >rest in peace cooper, you were my best friend and i miss you every day I can’t even see my computer right now, I am balling while i type this but cooper you deserve your story to be told
>>683034224 Listen man. You need to start looking at this from a different angle. You GOT to spend 6 great years with your best friend. You did everything in your power to help him fight his sickness, but sometimes, even with surgery, it doesn't get better. I'm not going to tell you to move on, because you should always remember him. Just try to remember the good times.
>>683035007 you're completely right, I was lucky to spend a minute with cooper. I just wish I could have afforded more medical work for him... I wish I worked harder to maybe extend his life by a year or two.... I just couldn't afford his issues, I could have if I did things differently....
>>683035687 Don't beat yourself up over it. By working harder, I assume you mean working MORE. Think about Cooper, man. You spending more time at work means you spending less time with him. I'm sure he was happy with the time he had, because he spent it with you. "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln
>>683034044 I don't really have any IRL friends either, my only friend moved states and I can only talk to him on skype and the phone. Its been that way since I was like 13, I'm 22 now.
I know your feel a little bit. Would probably have died by now without my bro. Probably won't be too far after if he leaves ahead of me. I guess I'd postpone if my newest cousin needed me since I feel pretty indebted to my uncle. I'll just sign a will with his name on it, I guess.
My mother died Jan 5th of this year. Not over it. My grandparents are dying from grief, anger, and a series of medical problems, and I can only watch. They are so sad, but I can't comfort them. It hurts. My uncle's gf will likely try to take his son away. It will destroy him. We can't stop it.
I'm very quickly losing all the places I can return to. The comfortable places that truly feel like home.
I have started to... almost stop feeling. Like I want nothing at all, or I just don't know anything that feels better than this feels bad. There is just a shallow echo of sadness.
Things will surely get better one day. Just not any I can see from here.
So /b/, how do you tell people about your depression irl. There's this girl who tries to get me to talk about what's bothering me, and I feel like she deserves to know. It's just that for the last 4 years I've been living with this on my own, and I've forgotten how to let people in.
My freshman year in college ended today. I came home to see my ex, who I dated for two years, really did love her, in prom photos with her date. We ended on weird terms. We didn't go to my senior prom because she went to boston with her parents instead, I was real upset about it, promised me we'd go to hers. Here's the day and she's there with some dude and I wasn't. Dunno how I feel about it, just moving on with life I guess..
>>683038536 >>683038220 I'm from Louisiana, but i'll be traveling to Georgia for work within the next two weeks. I have a bad problem keeping consistant contact. I don't talk every day, or even every week, but I'll add you on skype if you want. Typing only if I share a room while I'm working for the next few months.
I'm this sad sack of shit. My skype is sanguinedeum >>683037969
>>683039473 I don't. I don't like feeling vulnerable, and I'm socially stunted from being a loner since my memories began. I have one friend I don't want to burden with my problems, and my family is already sad from loss.
I'm going to bed since its midnight. Goodnight, /b/.
If somebody were to tell me that they were in love with me I wouldn't feel much because I'm too emotionally scarred and don't know how to fix that. I'm very empty inside but I manage to function adequately on a daily basis. Creative ambition has also left me, so now I just merely exist and it subtly terrifies me every day. I had much more potential than this.
>be 15 >only friend is gf who is emo like i was >we both cut and try to pretend we want to stop for each other >she and i get into a lot of fights, usually little stuff >bad one outside during winter >she storms off into woods (we're at her parents' cabin) >I stay inside out of spite >half an hour >nothing >hour >nothing >2 hours, nothing >5.5 hours later i get a call >it's her ex calling me, cursing me out >he lived nearby and picked her up >fastforward 2 weeks >get another call from him >he tells me that she had cheated on me that night >i lost it but i didnt show it >shutdown.jar now extracting emotions.txt >avoid gf rest of day >at home, parents out >dad's got a lot of meds >down half a bottle of pills and figure that should be enough >wake up in writhing pain in a hospital bed. >stomach feels like it's going to cave in >my parents found me lying in my bed covered in vomit and pills >had stomach pumped >spent next 3 months in mental hospital >come out and no one seems to have noticed i was gone
>16 yr old diagnosed early Parkinson's >Parents regret having me said they wish I was normal >kicked me out 18 yrs old when they figured out I'm gay >putting myself through college nobody knows about the disease or sexuality >Tomorrow is another birthday alone One day my mom told me she prayed to god that if I lived (complicated pregnancy), only do so if I was going to be happy. I pray night for it all to be over. I'm tired of fighting and tired of getting back up every time a doctor gives me bad news. My birthday wish is that I could just be a normal guy for just one day. Thanks for listening out there anyone.
>>683043365 Sometimes people want try to act like they didn't know you were gone because they think that it will embarrass you if they made a big deal. One of my friends had to take some time off and the best thing that we could do for him was not talk about it at school, because he would get very said when they did. They most likely don't want to upset you. If you need to talk to somebody about it. I bet a lot of people would talk to you about it if you wanted.
>>683003061 OP everyone who insulted you doesn't know a boy sifting through shit to find diamonds. That is 4chan. And I understand you were looking for land in this sea of piss. And I hope you find it.
>>683043423 I would give you the best birthday anon, come to vegas man and well kick it. Just know there will always be this anon who knows youre out there and i hope youre happy brother. Enjoy your birthday.
I know my story's pretty generic and you've probably all heard it thousands of times but I'll tell it anyway.
>Age 6, diagnosed with T1 Diabetes >Some kids on my hockey team make fun of me for it, most don't. >Takes a while to get used to the constant needles, but I do. > FF to age 13, used to the diabetes now. Big part of my life but whatever. >Found out over the course of a few years that not only was I a mistake, my mother was on birth control, and that when they found out they were pregnant, they wanted a girl. >Instead they got a diseased little boy. >2 middle/high schools in my town and one beside my town shut down, new high school built between them. Small school, maybe 300 kids grades 6-12 >Bullied pretty badly. One day I get sick of it, kid gets in my face, I hit him in the chest then in the face and push him against the wall >He trips me, sits on top of me and starts choking me so I choke him back. He isn't very good at choking, I am. >He gets 1 day suspension for bullying >I get 3 days iss for starting a fight >I get suspended about 7 times for fights that year. >FF to 14. Freshman in HS, start to notice my friend more, lets call her S. > Start to develop huge crush on S. In relationship with a girl from another town at the time. >FF to 15. Find out girlfriends been cheating on me, a lot. Fucking hurts like hell, loved this girl. >We split up obviously, my feelings for S start to get stronger. She's also my best friend at this point so I'm too scared to tell her how I feel >FF to 16. Straight in love with S. Still my best friend, always there for her and vice versa. >Hear about shit she does at parties, nothing major, she's still a virgin. Still hurts though. >FF to prom time, get super drunk and courageous. Tell her how I feel. >She bitches at me then goes off and fucks some stranger. > Almost break my hand punching a fucking dump truck. Too pissed to function. can't speak. (More to come)
Don't feel bad. The thing is, dogs don't know that they're being treated. They don't know they're having tumors removed, they don't know why they feel like shit from anesthesia, or why they hurt, or why they have stitches, or why they're spending all this stressful time at the vet. It's all just a painful, sad pain in the ass to them.
So if they get to skip it, that's not so bad. And if the cancer spread that fast, it had metastasized like crazy and he was going to get more, in all likelihood. Once again, dogs don't know that they're fighting cancer, the treatment is just more suffering to them.
I'm sorry about your friend, but euthanasia was probably the right call.
>>683047656 >All of our friends are either screaming profanities at the guy she's with, bitching at her, or with me. A lot of my friends already knew and those that found out that night took my side. >Meaning either they think she's a bitch for doing what she did so blatantly right after I poured my heart out to her, or that she's stupid for passing me up. >She isn't, she's better than me. >Friends mom drives me home, notices I'm not right, asks me if I'm OK. >Still can't even speak, just stare straight forward and nod. >Find out from her best friend that she knew for over a year and had been purposefully leading me on. Get home, text her not to speak to me. Plan to not speak to her again. >Give in 10 hours later. text her. Actually fucking apologize for my actions. >For my fucking actions. >Things aren't normal in the least but we're pretending they are. >Left it out but also another of my best friends at the time also had feelings for her, I thought he would be better for her. Didn't say that to her because I was trying my hardest to get with her, I knew it though. >She ignored him too, until 6 months later he's dating her best friend, then she's suddenly interested in him. >This made me grow to hate him, he's one of the nicest people I know, would never do anything to hurt anybody, and I hate him over this bitch. >a few months later, sitting with some new friends I made. >Most of them know how I feel about S, not one though. >"Hey guys, did S and that guy actually do that shit in the car with (other 2 people) in there? That's nasty." >Heart sinks to my gut. That guy was one of my close friends who knew how much I cared about her. >Tell him I'm going to fucking kill him, plan on beating the shit out of him. Tell him multiple times to meet up and he won't. > S realizes the whole situation and loses it at me. Tell her how fucking depressed I am and how much I've grown to fucking resent her but that I hate myself for it because she hasn't done anything wrong.
>>683048960 >Was at my friends place that morning, let's call him R. >Get showered at R's, put my phone up because now she's just spouting bullshit apologies saying she didnt know and this and that >She fucking knew. >After 30 minute shower, go up into the woods. Find a good log, sit for almost 2 hours just carving shit into trees. >R comes up after about an hour, but I just sneak back farther into the woods. Want to be alone. >Things are even more fucked with S now. Still try to act normal. >Oh yea I'm 17 at this point. This is in December, I turned 17 in July. >Spend a few more months wanting desperately to have S, but also knowing I would never want to be with her. >Resent her for being a fucking whore. >Deeply hate myself. >She starts hanging out with R and another friend, I'll call him P. Me and P and R are always together, usually at R's house. I just stay at his house when she picks them up to drive somewhere. >P gets really huggy with S. Start to get pissed even though he's that way with everybody. >Stop talking to S. >She messages me every few weeks telling me she misses me. Make up bullshit excuses. >Trying my hardest not to speak to her, can't do it. Give in after 2 months. Longer than I thought. >Go to a small party with her. She's hanging off of R the whole time. I can tell she's going to try to fuck him next >R thinks he's entitled to a fuck because he hasn't gotten laid in about a year >Me and P are still virgins. He still thinks he is more entitled to us. >Even though he knows how fucking torn up I am over S, I have no doubt he'd do shit with her in a second. >Right now P, R, S, and one other person are all at a camp drinking. >2 of my best friends, and one girl who still calls me her best friend, none of them invited me. >I know S and R are going to do something tonight >And in a couple weeks when R feels bad about it he's going to try to confess to me and idk what I'll do
>>683050212 Anyway that's pretty much it. I know how pathetic it is. I've been talking to a 7/10 chubbier girl that I met on tinder. Only person who's showed interest in me in a long time. Going on a double date next weekend. I hope it works out. Even if it does though, I'm moving to a new province as soon as i graduate HS this year, and she still has another year. Long distance shit won't work. Feel kind of shitty about it. Thanks for listening kids.
>>683050740 Well, it's sorta like that minute maid commercial or whatever it is that says "Put good in, get good out." You just sorta have to try, even when it doesn't work or it hurts too much to try. Yeah, this sounds like some fucking suicide hotline bullshit but I'm just trying to make sense of it all, still, and that's my conclusion.
>post things to facebook >no one likes or comments on them >keep posting anyway >post things on twitter >literally no likes from 32 followers >continue posting anyway >post pics on instagram >a couple of likes >text a bunch of people I know every day >maybe 1 or 2 respond >wish I was dead every day
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