Does anyone else see how meaningless life is?
How selfish the people that inhabit it are?
Its not that i am running from pain, Its that simply nothing is worth doing. Life is a game for the optimists, the ones to dumb to see the corruption and pain. The ones who live to eat, to work, to sleep, and to repeat.
Am i the only one who sees the futility of it all? How pointless the biological urges to reproduce and survive are?
Why would anyone have children when things like this happen? When 1/2 people get cancer at one point in their lives? when people suffer depression and suicidal thoughts? when people have disabilities?
why create new people? what for?
There is just so much suffering in this world. I cant believe parents want to create more people to experience it, with all the risks and everything. It just doesnt make any sense to me.
>walk home from work
>see random advertising
>advertisment says "you are alive, do you remember?"
when you are in school and you know fuck loud of people and you feel lonely
Support me anons.
>comming late into TS to talk with my mates
>wonder where they are, ask the via phone
>can hear them in TS talking and laughting
>noone borthered to invite me
fells bad man
And just an hour ago I was feeling great.
Anyone else get moments like this too?
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
I'm really fucking sad now. Like, the sadness is all around me, I just can't feel happy. Depression probably made me feel that way, who knows. I often just sit in my room and cry when I know no one is home except me. I'm a fucking piece of crap, I really am. Is it because my social anxiety? Hm, I go out only once a week, to see my therapist. Actually he is the only person I talk to. This is fucking pathetic. I had to spit it out, sorry boys. See ya in other world.
I'm completely numb. There. Numb. I've reached a point in my life to where I don't feel like going to the Park. I don't feel like working. I don't feel like talking to people. Those moments when I'm in the street with some of my normie friends and they are laughing, and I'm just staring into the brick houses up ahead. I'm numb.
get a dog /b/ro, or cat if your place doesn't allow dogs. animals are more loyal than humans, and will never act out of human emotions like spite and malice.
This is absolutely heartbreaking. It's a life calendar in weeks.
no, get the cat first.
keep it well-fed and healthy.get a collar with one of those metal tags with your phone number and stuff.
when you get a gf (and you will- stay determined) she'll see your beautiful kittycat and think "wow, this guy is responsible."
pussy gets pussy.
Pretty cool seeing it this way. I marked my age with the blue dot. Still so many more weeks to go
Same. I know that feeling.
I hadn't cried in so long that when I did, for the first time recently. After losing my best friend to suicide. I was only able to shed a single tear.
The tightness in my chest. The tear running down my face, was such a strange feeling. It felt alien. I felt even more detached.
But I could not cry more.
Not a single tear.
I lost the person closest to me.
The person I connected with more than any other.
And all I could get was one fucking drop.
I went through a month or so of this kind of thing. Still get that feeling when I see these threads late at night.
I wasn't depressed exactly, didn't really feel any different but whenever I was alone with my thoughts I just couldn't think of why we're even here. It still bothers me, but I can just put it out of mind
>19 year old fucktard.
>barely passes highschool do to health issues
>barely week into college
>Grandmother gets cancer
>woman practically raised me on her own
>duck out of school for a week to go see
>Shes barely fucking alive
>Doesnt even acknowledge my existence on the first few visits
>first month in school and im already fucking up cause i cant concentrate
>Slowly gains concious over time
>but still in fucking pain
skip to november
>after high hopes things look grim again
>my family doesnt know what the fuck to do
> Im still not doing good in classes.
> december comes and time for break
>barely passes class
> a week before christmas , A close cousin of mine gets violently stabbed to death
>No apparent reason,still dont know who did it WTF
>things get worse for granny, the place treating her is planning to kick her out
>january comes, almost time to go back to school
>but I havent been visiting Granny as much since I cant emotionally handle it,
>mom tells me granny looked very sad that I didnt visit the last few times
> Me+Guilt= I feel like a total peice of shit, decide to use the last week before I go back to school to be with her
>Day of the first "visit", Mom gets call while Im in the shower ,
>died in fucking pain, alone and consious. In a strange and uncomfortable place becuase the first place kicked her out
>My feelings are non-exisitent, can barely register reality, starts going over the facts
>forces my self to speed up mourning
>My family has time to heal
> i have 4 days to get my shit together before i go back to school
>Surrounded by fresh faced faggots who probably had a leave it to beaver christmas
>Attended funeral and rushed back for shitty two hour lecture on the sameday
> i shutdown for nearly 3 months
> don't talk to noone, fail most of my clases.
>essentially spend most of time on the secluded 3rd floor of main building
> staring out windows and listening to depressing spanish music(mexifag btw)
kill yourself faggot
no one care
fucking waste of space
i called my best friend who is a girl a bitch and that i hope she kills herself
now im blocked on facebook