It went well.
Several known to other species as well.
I have no desire to see anything happen to you mortals, and even if I had the desire to do so, I would be unable to destroy God.
I can take any form I wish.
God doesn't hate gays.
She didn't mean it literally, anon.
Fuck off Satan. Death to all abrahamic religions.
I do not.
No, that would require interfering with another person's free will,and I am forbidden from doing that.
Yes, but again, she more meant that she thought you are a terrible person. What did you do, anon?
That's really up to you, anon.
As many as I wish.
You realize your bible got more wrong than it did right, right?
I can't speak for all of you but I imagine some will be quite pleased.
So close, anon.
Tezcaltlipocatl here, WTF pinche colorado doing you out of work pinche huevon !! Go back to pinch people asses before i pinche slap the shit out of you rojito
That's not how Hell works, anon, unless you've assraped someone in life.
Oh, no, you humans have been running the show yourselves. Very interesting work, I have to say.
Oh, you of little faith.
It's no longer about discussing the paranormal (being summoning a succubus). Instead it has become a roleplay board. Such a shame, it used to be a lot of fun.
Yes, he could, but he could also give himself the ability to lift it. He's kind of all-powerful.
Yes, I saw your other post.
Really, you Pagan Gods are an interesting bunch. Not even the most deluded humans can approach the level of ego you have. You'd think creatures as ancient as you would have a bit more self-awareness.
Meme magic is a bit different from the power I wield.
Sorry, anon, I am not here to provide tech support. Perhaps you should contact customer service.
Depends on the form I am in. Now I have a question for you; what is your obsession with legos entering my orifices?
It doesn't exactly have a single leader. It's more of a council of leaders.
No, but someone might want to look into Benedict.
That's a good question. Belial and Lilith are probably among the strongest. Of course, Asmodeous was pretty strong before Raphael locked him up.
please satan invented the first meme by giving us intelligence
I mean the general path you started down; choosing your own destiny. When Adam and Eve ate the fruit, they made a choice to no longer live in ignorance. You wanted to see creation as it truly was, and become better than what you are.
And, despite what your bible may say, that's exactly what God wanted.
Donkey Kong 64.
Do you hate god for creating you for the sole purpose of being the "bad guy" and have every one hate you.
The satan I read about seems like a misunderstood nice guy that was delt a shitty hand by god for his own agenda.
Y'know, a do-over. I wanna try to do things right next time around. Maybe not kill a family in a cabin in the woods back in Vermont. Idk. Idk what to think anymore Satan. I keep hearing their voices. I can't close my eyes without seeing theirs staring back, cold and lifeless and pleading.
Do you repent for what you have done, anon?
My job is to tempt and test you mortals in the hope that you can improve yourselves. As for Hell, yes, I oversee the punishments of our prisoners.
I am still one of God's favorites. I am not damned, I simply work from the lower office, that's all.
That's kind of you, anon.
I'm just messuring up. Might have some nice plush carpets fitted and some of those netted curtains for privacy.
Roughly how many lego do you think you could fit inside your piss stick?
Lets just go on the average volume for each form you take. What amount of lego would be enough but not too much for each orofice? Could I take extra lego dependent on your mood? Or should I be minamalistic just incase?
See some shows, meet some girls and guys, throw around a little temptation, sit back with a nice cold drink and see what they do.
Yes, anon, I suppose we could hang out sometime.
I would say be minimalistic. Also use megablocks instead.
I would like to think I've repented. I feel, I guess, bad? I have not felt what most people call emotion for a long time. I guess I'm what you would call a sociopath. I don't feel, I just do. But I do wish I hadn't done it.
I don't want your cheap knock off! I want to know how much lego I shuld shove up my bum before you are to fag to accomidate it all. I mean if I can't take it with me I might as well let my neice and nephew play with my lego that's left over.
Hard to tell with sociopaths, but if you truly repent you will not face Hell. However, if you don't, you will be forced to live through the pain and suffering you inflicted upon them. After that, you will be given the choice of going to heaven or being reincarnated.
Anon, I sincerely doubt you will have to worry about me attempting to sodomize you.
Difficult to say, the future is not set in stone, and I am not omnipotent.
Reading this thread.
Well, I can take the forms of the various other intelligent mortals spread throughout the cosmos, animal forms, forms more akin to how your media portrays me, or as an angel of the Lord.
You will learn.
Your soul is not worth having power over another for an eternity, anon. Sorry to disappoint you, but you should really just move on.
Do you truly? Or are you simply afraid?
No. I do like trees, though.
LaVey had some serious delusions. He's down here with me, now, and in great pain.
To be perfectly honest, I do not know. I suppose I could go with the cliché answer that each life has its own meaning.
Don't avoid my question! Just for that I'm bringing extra so that I can scatter some on the floor. Then you'll have to stand on lego with all shit and buggers smushed into the holes.
How do you feel about that?
Yes, Michael hits hard.
Talk to her once you die.
I looked back when God said not to.
The Burning Legion has no power over me.
I keep trying to sell you my soul for various favors and you never respond. What gives? Fucking rude.
I make the conditions time sensitive. Last night I was like "Satan, you can have my soul for eternity if (crushsname) sends me pics of her boobs and wants to go to that punk show with me BEFORE I fall asleep." I never got the text from my crush. You never responded either. It's almost as if you don't exist.
Will i get to fuck a chick in a fursuit satan? Would you approve?
Satan will always take that road. You won't know until you're dead. You're not supposed to know. Why this supposedly happens is beyond me. Celestial creatures must be great and bizarre
Find a different woman.
Why are you still interested in that series?
Michael, please, stop.
That's not how you contact me, and that's a really stupid thing to give away your soul for an eternity over.
You want to have sex with your mother?
I get bored sometimes.
If both of you consent I don't give a damn what you do in the bedroom.
So, I've been deppresed for years. Get over it faggot.
Lord of the underworld and you can't even answer simple lego questions?....
Bet God is disapoint with you.
I'd be disapointed if i'd created you.
Since when did you care about consent?
Hmm, well how else do I get to strike up a contract with you. Do I need to learn how to play that "Devil went down to Georgia" song?
This crush is worth it. She is also a lesbian, so I could use your expertise in the matter (i am a straight dude). Plus the punk show is bound to be killer so there is that.
If you go to Hell you're either a worker or a prisoner. In either case, there won't be much to sell you.
Plenty of free things, though.
God basically wanted to communicate things in the simplest terms so a bunch of desert dwellers could understand.
Well, you can take it up with him.
Did you study? And isn't tomorrow Saturday?
Why did you stop being fun?
How many times do I have to tell you that Death isn't your brother? He's older than I am.
Still seems a trifle to offer your soul to me for an eternity over. But, if you are serious about this, go to a crossroad at midnight, and focus hard on what you want. If you are sincere about offering your soul, one of my associates will come to make a deal. But if there is even a shred of doubt in your heart, nobody will come.
Anon, does your mother know you are on this website?
What do you think about varg?
Father, will Jay Jay come for me? Will he remember what I did?
when are you going to pay me the 20 bucks i borrowed you red-tits?
I think of him about as much as he thinks at all.
I enjoy Paradise Lost, but it's not all that accurate.
God helps those that help themselves, anon. I would advise you not to trade your soul over something so brief.
Why would I pay you twenty bucks that you borrowed? Dammit Baal, are you drunk again?
All souls have equal value, as they all have the same potential.
If they decide to work there or pop in for a visit.
The Illuminati died long ago.
Things get better, anon.
Can I get some help here /b/?
I'm trying to find out how much lego satan can fit inside himself but he's too much of a fag to give me an answer.
I think it's a relevent question due to today economic climate and world events.
Can you help me solve this mystery?
Yeah, "dad", I´m pretty sure you´re confusing Death with Chaos. Antichrist, I knew you were a bad husband and father, but forgetting about your son? Who is also your grandson?
are you truly evil?, can you give me an honest response?
What about it?
You will die of natural causes soon enough.
Anti, go to bed and sleep off whatever you're on.
No, and you might get in trouble for that.
why did you make such glorious music?
I have to leave breathing all this fucking sulfur. How the hell am I supposed to be? When can I go up there? That Trump guy seems like a good vessel; I´m sure he´d make a great antichrist. Or how 'bout that fatass in North Korea? I don´t wanna get in there, but if I can blow up the world I might as well try!
what do you wish?, do you long for something?, why havent you ascended to the next dimesion of knowledge yet?
God seems pleased with my work.
If you're in the afterlife, you just have to will it. Be warned though, that some demons may try to attack you.
No, or rather, I won't.
Some people tend to label things they don't agree with as evil. And I enjoy all genres to an extend, metal can be quite fun.
What is the ultimate car brand? What the car you peronally would drive out from the gates of hell to conquer the world?
No vessel for you until it's time.
I wish to see mortals advance to their full potential.
I am doing my job, sometimes well.
Gospel can be fun.
I enjoy Linkin Park because of how amusing I find its edgy fans.
I prefer to travel by chariot
Have you paid attention? Pestilence is not an entity. The four horsemen are Conquest, War, Famine, and Death, pestilence is just a power they all share.
God seems to think you will one day become as good as he is. Watching your kind for as long as I have, I am inclined to agree.
I do, very much so.
Hell looks different for each individual. It is a place where wicked souls go. There, they are forced to live through the pain and suffering they caused others. They remain there until they have lived through it all, or repented. If they repent, they go to heaven, if, after everything, they still don't repent, they are reincarnated.
I tend to agree, humanity in general can in most perspective be a disease in the liefform "Earth".
But i think only some can live up to their true potential, i think it already happened a couple of times... but like sporadically ....
Even the greatest of you have not attained your true potential. You have the potential to be so much more than you are. It will take a very long time, maybe an eternity, but one day, God hopes you will become his equals.
Anti, you're high most of the time. Hell, you can't even go through a post without a major spelling mistake or grammatical error.
Yes, I'm..quite close to Loki. Mars is just War, one of the horsemen.
did loki told you bout the story he did a tug of war with a goat, while boud the other end to his scrotum?
And do you want to visit me sometime to blaze up and listen to some awesome music?
>Tons of weed.
>Awesome music, 'cause i will outlive the best musicians.
>Blazing with satan.
Will try to be more than "The sum of my parts" in this life. And if what you type is true, I will have the most glorious afterlife ever!
also, Will the weed be accessible when I die? how about rolling papers? and tabbaco? and lighter?
Also, where does my food go when it dies?
Where does my weed go when i smoke it? will it go to weed heaven or hell?
and will you show me a thing or two on the guitar when we blazing up? Bring two dude. I wanna jam.
Also, when you told eve about the apple and shit, did you give man logic and reason?
They already had a tiny bit of it, the fruit just amplified it a few hundred fold.
It's not my job to give meaning to life.
Usually misguided fools.
Faker? I think you're the fake Satan around here. You're comparing yourself to me? Ha! You're not even good enough to be my fake!
Either kids who want to piss off their Christian parents, or people who associate me with freedom.
well i'm out satan. thx for the chat! see you next time. smoke 'em when you got 'em!
here, have a goat.
To visit, sure, or get a job there.
I will not.
Find someone, my friend.
Well, if I am being honest, in my weaker moments I feel resentment over the special treatment he gives mortals.
There are a lot of fallen angels that think similarly to Supernatural's Lucifer. But God isn't missing, Gabriel isn't AWOL, Michael and Raphael aren't pricks, and demons are capable of killing angels.
Well, I am the devil.
Meme magic is strange.
You are welcome, anon.
Then you will be going to Hell.
Hey, don't blame me for that. You people came up with that on your own.
So, I'm wondering what afterlife has in store for me for I have sinned, but my sins are kinda petty and not really things worth repenting. So is my hell pretty much like my life on earth just riddled with slight inconveniences?
My christian friend keeps telling mě that all atheists, even the giid ones go to hell, but all of the christians go ti heaven, even the bad ones.
Is this true?
Also, do satanists have better place than others in hell?
Hey Satan. You said you can't bend other humans free will. I am pretty sure I did that in the form of mind magick. Can you elaborate on what other people on my reality are? Do we all humans share the same perspective?
Also, should I take cocaine or some drug to deal with my hard-ass apathy?